The name Respire came from the notion that art and fashion constitute the air that we breathe. If this is the case, the creatives around you act as the lungs, feeding life-giving oxygen to your pounding heart.
The hiatus of Respire Magazine has been the direct result of my own rebirth. During my most transitional chapter of my life thus far, I was too consumed with all of the shifting gears to dedicate the time to nurture and build this project. I moved to New York City, started fashion school, made new friends, and grew into a new version of myself. I am more independent, confident, brave, and intentional. I am also more isolated, stressed, confused, and exhausted. These things can be simultaneously true, and in periods of intense growth there is the inevitable swinging of the pendulum.
While it was beautiful and empowering and humbling to go through this physical and blatant change, my core being has never waivered. I am still a young woman who loves nature, immerses herself in the friendships she builds, gets overly sentimental over mundane things, and watches Gilmore Girls every morning while she eats breakfast. And more than anything, I am still someone who has an intense desire to understand and articulate the experiences and emotions in my life. I am still someone who needs to create and build with the new understandings that arise.
As work, school, and life took over, my focus on my creative outlets dipped down in my priority list. It wasn’t until my end of the year reflection that I understood the true void that had spread, a void that can only be filled by allowing myself the time and space to sit with and express my internal processes through artistic means. Long story short, I needed to bring back Respire.
The resurrection of Respire Magazine is a natural and needed cycle. Rebirth has manifested itself slowly but surely in my recent life, and I have come to notice how it infiltrates every other sector of the world around me. Buildings, materials, nature, political systems, and the people around me are all undergoing forms of reincarnation and resurrection with every passing day. The culmination of these shifts creates a world that is always redefined and reborn.
For the return of this magazine, it only made sense for rebirth to be the theme of the new issue. I wanted this issue to be about more than my own internal changes. I want it to be representative of the beautifully changing world. I am honored to share stories of powerful and magical rebirths, whether from local artists, historical places, or the inner workings of my friends. I am grateful to have this reinstated outlet for my outward thinking and creative expression. This issue is dedicated to the old becoming new, and the honoring of past and future selves as one.
With love,
Kylie Hull, Editor-in-Chief and Creative Director Bridget McGinn, Photographer and DesignerTo assume a new life form, to transform into a novel version of yourself, to dream up new possibilities and transcend to make them a reality. These reincarnations of self are always at our fingertips, reminding us that no condition is permanent, no struggle is eternally damning. The awareness of rebirth as an out brings comfort, but what happens when you move from a space of fantastical escapism into a space of life defying action? What does rebirth in motion look like?
It’s not a denial or discarding of yourself at present. It can’t be fueled by self hatred or dread. It comes from finding the sacred, salvageable soul that is already beaming inside of you, and using that energy to twist and mold into a higher version of yourself. Your shadow, your shame, can’t be ignored but rather utilized as a guide in your transformation. The key is accepting who you are, warts and all, and turning that life inside out.
In every minuscule move, we are reparenting ourselves. Every idea we consume, every relationship we partake in, every action we perform is changing our sense of self. What would happen if you consume intentionally and reshape your world; if you weld yourself a new life using the images and reels from your wildest dreams; if you pull together the limbs of yourself and give birth to your new being? This process is radical and soothing, life shattering and life building, gentle and brutal. In times when your world feels static and confining, you can breathe new life into your being and come home to your highest self.
Collage Art by Nia. Words by Nia and Veronica. Follow Mind Funk on Instagram @mindfunkmag.
Born in Columbus, Ohio and cultivated around the country, Mind Funk Mag is a space for and by queer BIPOC creators, writers, and innovators. Not only has Mind Funk become a channel for expression and liberation within a white, heteronormative society, it has become a community to provide support, resources and inspiration for all who stumble upon its work.
“Our main goal is to put underrepresented art and stories into the forefront of discussion while creating a community of artistry, open expression, and acceptance for those who are most in need of it.”
Mind Funk creators Nia Snelling and Veronica Cook have been constant inspirations for me and those around me. Their tenacity and artistry pushes me to be a better creator and community member. There is nobody that I value and admire more. I knew that having their voices and wisdom as a part of this issue would bring a powerful narrative and look into rebirth, and I am honored to share their words and art here.
As I grow older I learn that entering a new chapter of your life does not mean by default that your previous chapter is entirely closed. Your previous chapters, eras, or versions of yourself don’t just sit locked away never to be thought of again. Though you’ve moved forward, this could not be done without the support of all of your past selves. Rather than shed a new skin and leave it behind, it’s the old that allows you to get to someplace new. For this reason, I find it important to give love to every version of yourself — even the ones you desire to move beyond.
It makes me think of aging. Though you’ve just turned 21, there’s still parts of you who are 20, 19, 16, 10… and so on. When you find yourself needing a hug or shoulder to cry on, think of yourself at eight years old and the times when she needed the same care you need in that moment. I’ve found that when I embrace my past selves, I can better understand why I am who I am today. If I can learn to accept myself now, then in the future, I must also look back and think of 21 year old me with fondness.
I’m someone who loves a period of transformation, a chance at a new start that feels unrestricted by any precedent. As I enter my final semester of college, a blank canvas stands before me. It is the rest of my life. The tools I can use to turn said canvas into a work of art have already been given to me, by myself.
In each moment, I inch closer to the bittersweet acknowledgement of endings and beginnings. Something about simultaneously looking back and looking ahead makes me feel utterly present.
2022 was not my year. It was marked by distress, loss, and heartache. A particular regression developed within me and it was hard to pull myself up out of it. So of course, as the new year rolled around I made this promise with myself to get my shit together, create structure and magically change my life over night. I know that people say healing isn’t a linear thing, but it still surprises me when I find this to be true. You should’ve seen my face after I had another anxiety attack after three whole days of eating well, drinking water, and getting good rest. The audacity!
What I’m learning is that transformation comes from allowing the passage of time to do just that, pass. Grant myself space to feel out every emotional reckoning. Know that I’m doing the best I can with what I have. Allocate time for checking in with myself and process all my multitudes. I’m also learning that when I pay attention to my astrology app their supposed patterns for me don’t account for the qualms of white hegemony, climate distress, and the other general pressure that accompanies my lived experience as a queer Black woman. Despite my best self-care efforts the world can still dig its nails into my progress and gut me all over again. I find myself asking how can I live comfortably and assuredly in a world built on my inevitable discomfort?
I can’t. I can only reassure myself with the idea that the ways I build myself back up and the concept of rebirth isn’t fixed into a specific outcome or goal. My existence, despite how beautiful and magical, will forever be subjected to harm. But regardless, there is resiliency deep within me that guides me— a building upon the idea that there is no destination in transforming my life. It’s an active effort that restarts every single day simply through living. I can only continue to try out new sites of care, reclaim the parts of me that I made small, and just move forward.
Rebirth requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires faith. For times of uncertainty to evolve into those of prosperity, there is faith placed with trust and care. Whether it's faith in oneself, God, the universe, or those around us in community, there is a net below the ledge that we lean into.
Allowing yourself to be open and fearless in trusting the energies and beings around you will allow for greater abundance and love. Vulnerability, community, and unwavering trust in the goodness around you can lead you along a path of reinvention and reimagination. These photos encapsulate the moments of fear, connection, and liberation that come with surrendering to the forces and loved ones around you. Allowing yourself to be one with the nature, people, and higher beings in your life is a crucial form of self care and preservation. For every moment of solitude and reflection there is a moment of immense joy and communion. These moments interchange through the cycle of life and leave us reborn time and time again.
Iwas greeted at the Sk8 Liborius Church by founder Dave Blum, and his two-year-old daughter who rode on his shoulders. It is hard to not be awe struck by the beauty of it all: the towering spire piercing the night sky, the massive doors that open up to a world of reinvention, the sprawling colors of graffiti art.
Once over the initial shock of the structure, my disbelief was retargeted to the toddler in front of me flying up and down the ramps. The bravery and fierceness exhibited by such a young child, met with the trust and power that was placed onto her was the immediate indicator of what Sk8 Liborius really is for the city: a place for and with the youth of St. Louis.
When talking about rebirth, it is not just about the resurrection of oneself. The restoring of historical structures and the reintroduction of these spaces is a form of rebirth that can transform whole communities for generations to come. The Sk8 Liborius Church has been advocated for, nurtured, and reimagined into a new and empowering place, and there is no better location in St. Louis to feature in an issue about resurrection. Through talking with the owner I was able to grow a deeper understanding and appreciation for the history and work that come with this new project.
The St. Liborius Church was shut down by the Archdiocese in 1992, but lacked maintenance since the early 1980s. A local shelter, Karen House, obtained all three buildings in the complex: the church, rectory, and convent. As the building’s deterioration began to snowball, it became clear that any repair would be a massive undertaking. When Blum, a farmer and welder, came to the area to inquire about a farming opportunity, his experience attracted the attention of community members. It was through this that the church quickly fell into his lap, and Karen House signed the LLC over to Blum and his partners. Once struck with the idea to turn the space into a skatepark, he hit up Brian Bedwell and the others behind the KHVT skatepark on Morganford.
The transformation of this space, with the new help of locals, was a no-brainer: “Skating is a super important part of youth culture, it’s the tip of the spear. A lot of these guys will tell you, skateboarding lifts up guys that would either be dead or in jail. It doesn’t matter race, age, creed, socioeconomic status, gender, it doesn’t matter. You’re all just trying to land a trick. And it gives you the types of skills you need to do anything in life, you know: failing and trying again and again, falling and getting back up.”
Despite owning the majority of the property, Blum believes in the importance of shared stake and responsibility: “I like giving people ownership of stuff. If you have an employee, if you give them a bunch of money they’ll do a good job, but you cant pay someone to give a fuck. You either give a fuck or you dont. So people who own shit, they give a fuck about it.”
Skating is a super important part of youth culture... skateboarding lifts up guys that would either be dead or in jail. status, gender... It doesn’t matter. race, age, creed, socioeconomic status, gender... You’re all just trying to land a trick .
I was reading your mission on the website about having a place for people to come and skate and grow their skills. What does that mean to you and how do you feel about uplifting the community of St. Louis?
“Others who run local youth organizations tell me the hardest part is just getting kids in the door and engaging. But here, we don’t have that problem. The kids beat the fucking door down. And once you get them in, you can make a real impact on their life… if you grow up in North St. Louis or other parts of the city, those are these underserved communities… you don’t know you love photography if you never get to do any photography, you just spend every day trying to survive in your neighborhood. There’s no lack of talent or aptitude, there is a lack of opportunity to even find out what you like to do and explore it. You don’t know you love printmaking if you never get to do printmaking. It’s the massive loss of creative potential, not just for that individual but for all of us.”
“It’s all the importance of the Third Space Theory, the idea that you have work/school, home and then you need a third space. Like a church is a third space, a union meeting hall…. If you have a healthy, safe, productive third space, this other spot besides your home and where you make your money/go to school to occupy your time… If you have a productive third space you will utilize it, but if you dont you will find your own. Like bars, drugs, and gangs are a third space. People need a community environment, so if you provide one that is enriching and nurturing, people will go to it… If there’s a place you can go to where people nurture your creativity and want you to be the best version of yourself you can be, your highest form, then you will. You get that positive reinforcement.”
How much longer do you have fixing it up? What does the rest of the process look like?
“We’ve got the urgent stuff finished, so now we are raising money for the nonprofit we started to do the youth outreach. We need to raise around a million dollars to get the building up to code, and we’ve got about $100,000 raised so far. Retrofitting and adaptive reusing these older structures to modern codes is expensive and difficult. Everything we do here is all volunteer done, DIY, our own two hands with dirt under our fingernails, raising money however we can. The basement of this space is the same size as up here, and it will be recording studios, metal studios… basically a big makerspace where we can teach classes and have studios. We also own the rectory next store so that will all be artist housing. The skatepark is sort of the tip of the iceberg that helps work with kids”
What other initiative would you like to see around the city or preserving other buildings in the city?
“St. Louis has an amazing amount of historic buildings. The Archdiocese is going to decommission 70 churches in the next few years and put them out there for people to get. They are challenging structures to work on, there’s no doubt about that. If you have a 7 figure budget and can get in there and do it, that’s super nice. But we have to do it all DIY. There’s a bit of authenticity you get from doing that.”
How can people who read this article help the church?
“We need donations, we need money. We have a GoFundMe, if people want to give a larger donation they can reach out to us on Instagram or email us so we can write a tax write off through the non profit. We are an established 501c. All of us are volunteers, none of us make any money. If you give us money, 100% of the money goes to fixing the building and creating the youth center.”
In thinking of potential pieces for this issue, the very first person that came to mind was Sarah Burack of Pebble Studio. When reflecting on rebirth, both of self and materials, she is the epitome of reconfiguration. Between her constant striving toward personal understanding and ascension, to her alchemy in reworking precious materials into wearable beauty, she is the prime example of a community member who is born again time after time.
Her belief that rest and intentionality create a natural cycle of rebirth is a comforting thought, to know that with time and gravity we will all teeter along on our journey of change. Like a nugget of silver being born again into a beautiful necklace to adorn your body, you can always morph into a new form. There is no need for danger, or crisis, or extreme discomfort in order to transform our lives. Rebirth can come from community care, thrifted metals, and Miyazaki movies.
Could you go into the initial origin and meaning behind your creation of Pebble studio?
Once I had graduated, I knew I could have a makers shop on Instagram. I started with ceramic earrings and hair scrunchies from recycled fabrics and beads— mostly a lot of upcycling. I’ve also done garments with dying and painting and resewing. I started taking metalsmithing classes about four years ago. It was a whole new medium and I was able to directly apply it to what I was making and selling. I jumped into it quickly and started taking classes, and it has developed into metalworking since then. The brand was designed to be malleable so that it could be whatever my interests were and whatever medium I wanted. It’s a space for me to be curious, and sometimes the medium is not just painting or textiles or silver. Sometimes it’s philosophy and poetry and prose and a periodic blog post. It was always intended to be a non-fixed space that could change based on what I felt like I needed, or what I felt needed to be heard.
What things in the world around you do you turn to for inspirationin your creative process?
I’ve always been really inspired by color and nature, but that doesn’t necessarily translate well to silver. You’re constricted to only a few colors, and even then it doesn’t feel as capturing of what you envision. I find metals to be more suggestive, and I find myself drawn to symbols and schemas. I’ve found that I have a cycle of becoming fixated on a schema or theme. I think about it for a while and then some symbols or words from it come to me over a couple of weeks. Then I develop a drop based on that. The last drop was Metamorphosis, so I was very much thinking about butterflies, spirals, and change. Before that I did one that was sea themed. I had a lot of seashells, sea glass, and mermaid imagery.
On a general level what does the term rebirth mean to you? Do you feel that it resonates with you?
I think we are always being reborn. Even when we wake up each day it’s a new beginning. It’s like we are stuck in this continual cycle of experiencing, ruminating, integrating, and then action. For me that’s rebirth, because each time we go through it we are adding something else to what we’ve learned before. That applies so deeply to me as an artist, because I do the same action but it’s different each time. One simple process is sawing, and I saw out all of the shapes by hand. A lot of people see it as tedious, but for me it’s a rebirth. Every time I’m cutting out a new thing or symbol, I think about what it holds and what it means for someone to put it on their body. I think about what it means to adorn yourself with something, and for someone to choose it for themselves. I take that very seriously. It’s the same thing as when you wake up each day and decide what you put on, that’s a form of rebirth.
I have always been inspired by your focus on sustainability and the reuse of materials. Can you talk a bit about how that process of giving new life unfolds and what inspired you to take that route?
In silversmithing or metallurgy, metal is really valuable so there has always been a practice of recycling it. Refined metal has the same price as metal directly from the earth. It’s a finite resource. Something that I really like doing is melting down silver, and there’s a couple of different processes that I use. Something else I do which isn’t really the norm is collect old silver from estate sales or thrift stores. Then I melt that silver and pour it into an ingot, which is a nugget of silver. It can be any shape. That’s been something I am really interested in. I have a couple copper pipes that I have been wanting to turn into candle holders. I am also really excited to take old fabrics and patchwork them together for a composition. I’ve written before about the rebirth and alchemy of metal, especially when it’s something someone has worn everyday and then you melt and it’s reborn into something that someone wears everyday. It’s really poetic.
How do you feel Pebble as a brand has evolved or experienced rebirth? Does it reflect the changes and rebirth you are going through as a person?
I think what I was making before was cool and fun but it wasn’t something that was made to last, both in craftsmanship and style. It’s shifted to something that someone will wear for years to come and eventually hand down. It’s also mirrored the shift in me where I am more intentional with the things I purchase and consume. I’m not just thinking about what it is at that moment. This can be a great form of expression and was necessary at that step, as we all start from somewhere. I’m sure one day it will change again and I will know more each time. All of those steps were necessary. When you’re trying something it’s good to do fleeting things and be explosive and expressive. Now I still find that energy useful but not necessarily in the thing that I’m building. I want that to be more intentional. From that expressiveness of letting things out, you can test your ideas and what resonates with you. And as you get older, you are still learning. You are reminded again that you don’t know anything and everything you’ve been told is maybe true for only a day. No one knows what’s going on, everyone is just making it up. I’m at a point where I did everything they told me to do to succeed, and now I’m like what now? That explosive expressive period is taking a pause and I’m being reborn more intentionally. Now I can choose the things and values I like, and hopefully that leads me somewhere.
“When you’re trying somehing it’s good to do fleeting things and be explosive and expressive. Now I still find that energy useful but... I want to be more intentional.”
In your blog you wrote, “I am attracting the opportunities and relationships I long for by prioritizing life enriching daily habits. Has my labor of shaping change already begun to integrate?” Can you expand on this idea and how it has manifested in your life thus far?
When I wrote that, I was reading a lot of Octavia Butler and Adrienne Maree Brown. Octavia wrote Parable of the Sower, a whole manifesto on change. And Adrienne Maree Brown is a modern intersectional feminist thinker who also talks about change. She wrote a book called Pleasure Activism, about pleasure as a central motivation and catalyst for change, whether large scale or small scale. That is where that thought process has come from. . Intentionality makes it easier to feel peace. It connects to me being intentional in what I’m making, thinking about not only why should people buy this, but more so why this is a necessary part of living. Finding why I think this is joyful and important not only invites the people around me to find that, but once we’ve both found it we can see how our goals overlap. It’s so easy to work with people then, there’s a level of respect and fun. Once you know what you’re trying to achieve, it becomes easy and silly and playful. You see the goal and you don’t know how to get there, so you can try things out and bounce off one another. It’s all about value centered partnerships where the goal isn’t selling people things or making people jealous.
Once you know what you’re trying to achieve, it becomes easy and silly and playful.
In the same post you talk about the community and comfort you have found in St. Louis. Do you feel that this space has allowed you to experience rebirth in uplifting and inspiring ways?
I actually want to talk about the intergenerational community. I go to the metal studio at Craft Alliance. One day I was there working and a woman asked me if I wanted to teach high schoolers. She ended up becoming my good friend, confidant, and mentor. I taught that program with her for a year. She’s given me supplies and old stones, and I’ve shown her how to make Instagram videos. A couple of months ago someone texted me about a jeweler who needed an apprentice. I ran into my older friend and she was like, “Sarah I really think you should do it, I think this is really it. I know her, she will be your mentor.” I went to go meet her and her studio is beautiful with sunlight and plants and new tools. It was very different from a community studio, it was very professional. I’ve been working there once a week for a few months, it’s been a huge blessing working with a professional artist one on one. She has so much insight and craftsmanship knowledge and skill. So that’s what I’ve been thinking about lately. Before I was working across, but now in this new rebirth I’m listening again, I’m ready to receive from my elders. I’m in this lineage of women in St. Louis, and that’s fucking awesome. I’ve wanted to go to grad school for a while, but why would I move somewhere to do something I’m not sure I want to do under people I don’t know? I’m already studying under someone I know. It’s happening right now, and it’s not something that I need to leave, and I’m super grateful for that community.
Growing up in St. Louis, I have always had such a deep love and appreciation for the city, and I have noticed even within the past few years there seems to be a renewed energy within the community. Do you feel this shift as well and how do you think it will unfold moving forward?
Definitely, and that’s been a big part of my decision to stay in St. Louis. I really strongly believe you can see all of your creativity or influences from the internet. There are so many niche subcultures now that you can belong to simply because of the internet. I don’t think you need to be in a city but there is something to be said for conversations that happen face to face. It’s here and it’s fun. I feel like I’m of the older generation in that crowd. I feel like the scene you’re talking about embodies nightlife and fashion and creativity. I feel like I’m the generation that is helping to set it up, like hosting and promoting events for creatives. When you’re older you have more leverage and resources to make it happen. In five years, the people who are just joining now are going to be leading it.
How do you tend to yourself and invoke a slow but steady evolution both within your art and in your personal life?
I do nothing. I rest. Then I have to start again. You just have to do it. It doesn’t feel good to start, but after ten minutes it feels good. I try not to judge myself on what it is I need to rest. Even if it’s reality TV, maybe I want to be fed something so trashy and I try not to judge that. But then I try to make the time to sit down and do something. Part of it is dreaming and then part of it is being really disciplined. You need to be able to sit down and do it. It’s really about scheduling a time to just start. For someone who is trying to make a living from art, it’s good to just switch mediums and do something not for other people, but for the sake of doing it. I’m a big fan of Miyazaki movies. I’ve watched Kiki’s Delivery Service four times in the past couple of months. It’s a story of a little girl who loses her way and then finds her magic. It’s a shame that at the end of the movie the way she finds her magic again is because she loves someone who is in danger. That’s kind of a shame, that the catalyst was someone she loves being in danger. There must be a way to generate magic without there being danger. I don’t love that resolution. I don’t know what the answer is for generating magic other than resting and starting.
“There must be a way to generate magic without there being danger... I don’t know what the answer is other than resting and starting.”
The mind is fluent in seasons ancient patterns of earthly metamorphoses innate rhythms of flux
An Eternal Unfolding
like Mom says
Without cloudy days we wouldn’t appreciate the Sun Nature’s frame of synergy branches of its ecosystem forever in relation
Change is the only constant they say cyclical and temporal oscillations of birth and death and growth and grief and birth anew (there is no true opposite of growth)
The comfort in the midst of pain is the promise of ultimate, abstract pleasure The humbling notion in the midst of pleasure is the anticipation of pain and suffering in some unknown way, shape or form
and sometimes often
Pain morphs to pleasure
Pleasure is pain(ful)
they are one
Ever-tethered
Winter and Summer
The very prefix of the word rebirth Hinges on death occurring first some unspecified decline
A loss
Mistake
Failure
Pain
so the eventual Eden
The fruits of our collective spirit (labor) can be Savored
To be born again
We must die first
But when there is death without rebirth times left Eden-less grief-stricken
There is no answer except Breathe in, Breathe out Revolution and Love that rawness the oozing alive-ness seeps in and out of Body
We are human (a gift?)(a gift) (the very purpose of life to live and love and cry and fuck and fail and laugh and bleed and dance and grow, only to crack open and do it all again)
teaches us when to lean in when to fight
Not to push that pain down down down
But rather
To listen to what it is trying to say every day, every moment
Living and dying
Birth and death existing only in relation to the other they might even be
The same
Do we live just to die? Do we die just to live?
