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RESPIRE

a matter of time

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RESP RESPIRE

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Respire: inhale for the purpose of maintaining life; to breathe.

The name Respire came from the notion that art and fashion constitute the air that we breathe. If this is the case, the creatives around you act as the lungs, feeding life-giving oxygen to your pounding heart.

Table of Contents 8

The 60s: Colorful Whimsy

The 70s: Human Mysticism

The 80s: Enduring Girlhood

The 90s: Communal Youth

The 00s: Teenage Vanity

Model: Melle Minhui

Model: Tali Gorodetsky

Models: Klea Markollari and Zara Abbassi

Models: Sarah Abbas, Francis Barkofske, Mason Barkofske, and Rachel Steurer

Models: Mansi Mamidi and Samanvita Kasthuri

The Future: Boundless Potential Model: Caroline Vaaler

Photography: Bridget McGinn Writing, Editing, Styling and Designing: Kylie Hull

Letter from the Editor My nostalgia is one of the most defining features of my journey through life and the way I view the world around me. When every moment or item is a sacred keepsake, cleaning out a closet feels like losing a limb. When I was 16, my family decided it was time to retire our decade old couch. We donated it to my cousin in college for his first ever apartment, and come move in day you could find all 5 feet and 6 inches of me curled up on the couch, sobbing as my parents desperately tried to drag it outside. The battered beige couch seemed to be an old piece of furniture that had paid its dues, but to me it was a time machine. That couch soaked up my tears as I watched Hannah Montana say goodbye to her loyal army of fans on her last episode. That couch bore the weight of my pounding feet, as I lost myself in every single One Direction album, the old piece of furniture becoming a stage to present my reinditions. The couch that was the vehicle for many of my rites of passage was now on its way to a new home, and you would have thought my world was crashing down. You get the gist, I am overly nostalgic. But it comes from a place of deep love, gratitude, and awareness. I am so grateful for my 2008 mornings, watching Saved by the Bell in my Paul Frank pajamas and eating my blueberry Eggos. I am in love with the many versions of myself and my life that have unraveled in just 20 years. On a greater scale, I am in love with the many versions of all of the people around me and the people that came before me. I see now that the generations before me all had iterations of my own sacred moments. Where I sat criss-cross applesauce in front of Hannah Montana, my mom sat just the same in front of the Brady Bunch. The rites of passage that I thought only existed in my finite, fleeting past have actually been passed down by so many before me. So many experiences that I hold near to my heart and that have shaped me in my entirety, are experiences that have been felt time and time again by others. It has been inevitable that my nostalgia would eventually lead me to a time-related issue, and here it is. But I wanted this issue to be more than just retro inspired fashion and past celebrity icons. This issue is dedicated to the many timeless and generational moments and lessons that trickle down to sculpt the lives of all of us. We are all so deeply connected with one another and with those that came before. Their heartache, lessons, excitement and laughter will trickle down into our lives… all in a matter of time :)

With Love, Kylie Hull 7

An Homage to Colorful Whimsy Through the Sixties

A burst of color in the dull monotony of time, a spiral of chaos, an explosion of sound. It only seemed right to start this issue at the very precipice of current society, the point of no return in terms of expression and liberation. What began in the 60s has carried us through every twist and turn to this day. The limitless possibilities imagined for what the world could be have energized the generations to follow. There comes a time in each of our lives when we come out of our cocoon, when we understand what needs to be done in order to keep climbing toward our truest self. Some even have an exact moment, the realization that everything before was “then” and whatever is to come is the “now.” In the world, this moment was the 60s. With every grassroots protest, Acid Test party, whimsical garment and mudfest concert, we progressed further and further into what would become the “now.” It was the decade where self indulgence grew into introspection, expression grew into liberation, and art grew to encapsulate every aspect of life. Music became an audible reflection of one’s deepest inner workings. Fashion became a vessel to express the brightest and most fantastical corners of the inner child. Life became one big performance art, and this production brought people together on another plane of understanding and creation. The seeds of the future were planted with visions of whimsy and harmony, and the world would never be the same. This issue starts with this decade, because in the same way that current culture shifted during this time, I believe that the energy and ideals reflected are what push each of us forward in our own lives to this day. In the most mundane, disheartening and bleak trenches of life, we are fortunate to almost always find that glimmer to change the tide. It is rarely something concrete or blatant, it is more often a feeling of childlike hope… a trust in the inevitable shift that is to come. When we are in the dark, life proves to be a dynamic light show of colorful chaos, and within this chaos the “now” begins. 8

When we are in the dark, life proves to be a dynamic light show of colorful chaos, and within this chaos the “now” begins. 19

An Homage to Human Mysticism Through the Seventies

The sound of chimes twinkling together, like a chorus of fairies laughing in the woods… The glimmer of a crystal as it collaborates with a warm sun beam, transmitting energy in a kaleidoscope of colors… The feeling of toes in fresh clay, and the grounding effect of this communion of human and planet. These moments of curiosity unwrapped and magic brought to reality reflect a corner of life that is timeless, yet displayed beautifully during the 70s. It was a time of exploring the purest centers of being and giving in to the winds of change. When thinking of this time, there is a sense of universal hope and excitement. While the decade before was radical and exhilarating, there is magic in the integration of these attitudes into everyday life. When Woodstock is over and the fields are vacated, what now? The dreamers and lovers were still here even when the Summer of Love ended, and throughout the next decade the peace and energy they had cultivated seeped into every corner of the world. While these two decades feel like a distant dream, a vision of days gone by, the ball of light at the heart of those that came before us is very much present. Pushing for better, seeking the unfamiliar, and nurturing one another are all things we still hold close to us. The spirit of the 70s is alive every time Rumours by Fleetwood Mac is played. It is alive every time a teenager lays in a field and imagines a better world. It is alive in vintage dresses and turquoise rings and community care and laughter. It is all around us! The world that Janis Joplin left behind at the turn of the decade is the same world that she created in her bubble of creation and peace. There is still excitement in vulnerability, beauty in the organic, and music to be sung, and this will hold true as long as the universe holds us in her arms. 20

There is still excitement in vulnerability, beauty in the organic and music to be sung, and this will hold true as long as the universe holds us in her arms. 31

An Homage to Enduring Girlhood Through the Eighties

There is nothing more timeless than the all consuming gossip session that is exchanged between teenage girls. A universal experience, where the bedroom wallpaper or stuffed animal collection varies, but the magnetic pull of sacred conversation is all the same. As a girl ages the changes are inevitable and perpetual, but the gravity of an over the phone meeting with your best friend never waivers. A tradition passed from mother to daughter, from the pioneers staring their Tiger Beat posters in the eye as they twirl the cord of their family landline, to the new age of girls staring at their Pinterest printed wall while their friend stares back through a FaceTime call. The drone of mom calling you down for dinner is background noise to the pressing news you are sworn to protect. This practice is more than a shallow trade of gossip. It is a communion of uniform minds, a chorus of excited chatter, an open forum for opinion and mutual understanding. In a world where identity shifts with every coming season, friendship is the one constant, both through an individual life and through decades of girlhood. A blue-haired girl steps off the school bus, her combat boots stomping down the metal stairs as a punk band pounds her ear drums. A soccer player throws her duffle bag over her shoulder, embarking on the trek home from practice. The student president leaves her government meeting, her hair held high in a scrunchie and her body adorned with cheery garments. Their seats in the ride of life are very different, and the track is taking them to unfamiliar places. For the time being, knowing that their confidant is waiting for them to ring is the one thing they can depend on. Young girls take on many forms and shapeshift throughout their youth. A meeting place where you can come as you are and bond with your partner in crime, no matter how trivial the topic, is essential through girlhood. This comforting and transformative practice has and will stand the test of time… that is, as long as girlhood remains a whirlwind of self doubt and exploration, with a demand for confiding in those who relate. 32

In a world where identity shifts with every coming season, friendship is the one constant, both through an individual life and through decades of girlhood. 43

An Homage to Communal Youth Through the Nineties

The last sacred decade before the digital age… the last glimpses of true communal experience and presence on a concrete level. What was friendship before it was broadcasted to the world? What was fashion before it sped up to cycle in and out of our lives in the blink of an eye? What was youth before it was lived through a screen of vanity and comparison? It is easy to romanticize or imagine what the 90s were like to the young adults experiencing the decade of grunge and rebellion and minimalism. In moments of frustration or suffocation by our current age of digital infatuation and shallow connection, I long for a remote control that could send me back to the decade before my birth. Then, I quickly overcome this cynicism by remembering that despite the massive societal shift that happened at the turn of the millenium, there is still a semblance of what I imagine the 90s were like for its inhabitants. More than anything, this cynicism is quickly washed away during moments of genuine human connection. It’s hard to long for a past life when you’re sitting in an old friend’s basement. A group of friends huddled around a bag of Cheetos like it’s the last morsel of food on Earth. A walk in the woods of October, draped in flannel and noses red from the crisp Missouri air. The race down the stairs to a basement show, mirroring the descent to an alternate universe where time is still. The renewal of the first swim of the summer, washing away the mundane grime of academia. These shared moments remind me that there are glimmers of simplicity and subtle rebellion when you fall into rhythm with the right people. It’s cliche to say, but where are you when you forget about your phone? What are you doing when Instagram fades away and Snapchat is obsolete? Take notice of these moments, replicate them as often as possible. Yes, we (over)share our lives digitally, but what do we share that truly matters? Spoiler: there is so much more than we realize, and it is up to us to lean into these sacred treasures. 44

These shared moments remind me that there are glimmers of simplicity and subtle rebellion when you fall into rhythm with the right people. 55

An Homage to Teenage Vanity Through the New Milennium

A cluster of teenage girls crowding a small school bathroom during the passing period, fighting to the mirror like it is their pass to salvation. A pile of clothing, reaching taller than a mountain, left in a heap on a closet floor by a tardy girl who can’t find the perfect outfit silhouette. The subtle yet all consuming glance at a window reflection as you pass, as if you’re both a judge and a contestant on America’s Next Top Model. What would the early 2000s be if not a conglomeration of young women, squeezing themselves into velour track suits and swallowing toxic amounts of Lip Smackers lip gloss. The fluorescent glow of a shopping mall bathroom necessitates a touching up… because god forbid your hair looks flat in the food court. While it all seems vain and absurd, there is a mini Paris Hilton living inside of us all. It is ingrained in us, no doubt to a fault, and every teenage girl is plagued with this inner voice. It is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because there is no feeling more empowering than putting on shimmery eyeshadow in your best friend’s bedroom, listening to throwback music and hyping each other up. A Juicy tracksuit feels like a royal adornment, and a mall photo booth feels like a red carpet. It is a curse because there is a constant picking and prodding… a feeling of always hitting just below the mark. There is something so sinister about a 12 year old girl weighing herself, wondering what this means for her in comparison with her peers. There is something unforgivable about clothing stores that only carry small sizes, making beauty and comfort feel exclusive. It’s a double edged sword, yet the negatives cut deep and the wounds last forever. Lip gloss and Britney dance parties only go so far when obsession with appearance, gossip and social climbing suffocate the young women in the world.

Lip gloss and Britney dance parties only go so far when obsession with appearance, gossip and social climbing suffocate the young women in the world. 67

An Homage to Boundless Potential Through the Future

Life is a never ending process of a simultaneous beginning and end. Every moment we embark on is the ending of the person we were and the beginning of the person we are becoming. Destruction, reflection and reinvention are the only constants we have come to know, in all aspects of life. On an individual level, there is a crucial need to intently destroy the patterns that hinder us, to reflect on the loss of this obstacle, and reinvent ourselves to fill the hole that is left. It is a cycle that is relentless and lifelong, but it is equally beautiful and hopeful and artistic. To know that at any moment things may change for the better… a new version of yourself can be birthed. Changing can feel like catapulting yourself into the deep end with a blindfold on. The death of what once was is unnerving, but nothing is scarier than staying the same. The culmination of these internal, individual cycles create a dynamic and resurrectional world around us. As we each reconstruct our values, habits and lives, the world around us mirrors these changes back, presenting us the fruits of our labors. The unfortunate truth is, we have already lost our comfort. The safety of our rose tinted glasses from our childhood has been ripped from our hands over and over. We have grown holding this hurt, and we have been forced to reflect and process until our minds are numb. The only thing left to do is break out of the cocoon of pain, fear and contemplation and welcome the reinvention that is ready to grow its wings. At any point in our lives, we can repaint our self portrait, brushing strokes of vibrant color over the faded scratches from before. In moments of fear, when it feels that everything is crumbling around you, notice that there is no end to what can be built on the flat ground. Once we have swept the rubble to the side, there is nothing we can not construct from our new wisdom and our bare hands. Even when the pain preceding is unbearable, there is magic in reinvention. You have endured the cycle more than you know, and the magic will always return. It’s only a matter of time. 68

Even when the pain preceding is unbearable, there is magic in reinvention. You have endured the cycle more than you know, and the magic will always return. It’s only a matter of time. 79

Fall 2021