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RESPIRE

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Respire: inhale for the purpose of maintaining life; to breathe.

â€œFashion is part of the daily air and it changes all the time, with all the events. You can even see the approaching of a revolution in clothes. You can see and feel everything in clothes.â€? -Diana Vreeland

Table of Contents 11 terrence strong 19 adrian gomez 27 sunny lu 35 jabari wimbley 43 sophana holdegraver & andra staicu 51 sophie schoedinger 59 hasan el-amin 67 sarah abbas

Cover photo by Andra Staicu

Letter from the Editor This year brought a universal, suffocating feeling of loneliness. There is no doubt that the physical isolation we felt slowly but surely crept into our hearts and minds. I found myself tumbling down a rabbit hole of anxiety that seemed unending. As I grounded my feet in the metaphorical grass of life and opened my eyes to the community around me, I found that the magic in the world outside of my quarantine bubble was still very much present. Growing up in St. Louis, itâ€™s natural and expected to take on the anti-Missouri stance. From our youngest days, we cultivate dreams of running as far away as possible. We discard our hometown as a monotonous, Midwestern pitstop on our way to greater things. As I have aged, I have begun to realize that, in the most unconventional way, St. Louis is an oasis in the heartland of America. Over the past few years, it has become clear that the lifeline of St. Louis is its youth. The teens and young adults of this city organize revolutions, create masterpieces, transcend boundaries, and bring life to the very city that shaped them. While falling fast and hard down my dreadful rabbit hole, it took one glance at the community around me to realize that there is a vibrant energy charging my world. Every single person in this issue has been a positive force, collectively sculpting the energy that has ignited my love for the city and art around me. Seeing the passion, drive, innovation, and empathy within each of these people has pushed me to be a greater version of myself. It is through the observation of them that I was able to look deeper into myself and what I need most to be fulfilled in this life. Through them, I have seen what it looks like to be so deeply captivated by a goal that you are willing to put your whole life toward its pursuit. I now know what it looks like to care so deeply for others that every breath you take is for a stranger. I have been shown the beauty in departing from what is safe, and instead reaching for the unprecedented, uncomfortable, and unfamiliar corners of life. I hope that through this project, I am able to give that same experience to you. I donâ€™t know what I would be without the people of St. Louis. The name Respire came from the notion that art and fashion constitute the air that we breathe. If this is the case, the creatives around you act as the lungs, feeding life-giving oxygen to your pounding heart.

-Kylie Hull, Respire Creator

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Terrence Strong IG: @c.omply

Growing up in St. Louis with a longing for an escape from the mundane and the drive to create his own path, Terrence Strong birthed Comply, a fashion and media brand. Built on expression, passion, and individualism, Comply became an outlet not only for Strong, but for his friends and consumers alike. As a kid immersed in skate culture, it was natural for him to become enthralled with all that came with it: the music, the people, and, most importantly, the fashion. Taking over Instagram with every post, he has spread his work and fostered community through the platform, reaching people as far as Atlanta and New York.Â Being young and still evolving, Strong has molded Comply into a direct representation of his identity, and others have been able to share in this journey. The effort and dedication necessary to maintain a brand is no easy task for a teenage boy. Yet, the result has been a collection of garments and media pieces that reflect years of cultivating a culture and style, that, while unique to his identity, have intrigued and resonated with so many across St. Louis.Â While this has been over half a decade in the works, Comply is just taking off. There is no saying where we will see this brand end up, but we can be sure that itâ€™s a journey you will want to follow...

Left: Photos by Adrian Gomez and Jared Witherspoon

What kickstarted your idea to create a brand? I would say the initial drive to create something came at 14 or 15 years old as I was getting into skateboarding, and diving into other brands that already existed. I wasn’t just fascinated by them from a consumer standpoint; I was interested as someone looking at the entire product and the complete package - everything down from the quality to the display and how it was shown to the world. I was young and wanted to be a part of something or do something but didn’t have an outlet that already existed, so I had to create one for myself. What external influences, brands, and inspirations helped you shape Comply? Initially, my biggest influences were brands like Supreme and FTP. FTP has influenced me more than anything else, but so have all skate brands like Independent Trucks and Thrasher. You and I have kind of talked about this before, but Comply has gone from being just a fashion brand to also being a personal brand, and it has become linked with your identity. How do you think social media has had a role in propelling your image? Social media definitely propelled my image. I do most of my marketing and brand image on social media. I definitely recognize what you’re saying, that it’s a brand, but it’s also a part of my identity. I feel like whenever I create clothing with Comply, it’s the brand Comply. But, I can also create any multimedia under the same name, and as long as it has my name on it, it shows I was a part of the production in some way. Going off of that, what forms of art do you channel your creativity through other than fashion? Besides making clothing, I really enjoy graphic design, and would say video editing is my favorite creative outlet. I like

to paint recreationally, but not so much with skill in mind. If skateboarding counts as something creative, then definitely skateboarding. I really enjoy music and want to start learning how to produce. How has growing up in St. Louis impacted your fashion and art? How has this environment and culture shaped you? I’d say the biggest thing that has impacted me growing up here was being a city kid who was a part of the desegregation program, getting bussed out to the county for middle and high school. That experience initially molded me into becoming the kid who decided he wanted to start Comply. Since I started Comply, the way St. Louis has affected me, for the better and worse, would be the people here. They work very differently than people in other cities. In St. Louis, people are a lot more selective with whom they want to work with, and it’s not just based on how many people are interested in what you’re doing. In St. Louis, people are often more worried about who you are, and who you associate with. Honestly, I am inspired every day to make things for myself, to better my chances of getting out of the city. Are a lot of your close relationships with other creatives, and how does being surrounded by other creative people inspire you? Do you ever find it hard if you have clashing ideas? The good thing about Comply is that I own it entirely, so when it comes to creative ideas, people can suggest things to me but nobody can tell me to do something. I have 100 percent authorization to do anything I please. I like to be in creative environments where people are making things, like music and clothing. Most of my friends do something creative, and I find that being around them stimulates my personality. As you said, you started this brand when you were only 14. How do you feel you’ve evolved, and how has your mind

set changed regarding your brand? Comply has most definitely changed over time. My idea for it changes often, but I’ve kept the main brand message and the sense of identity. The reasons why I started and continue to do it haven’t changed. What drives me these days is wanting something more for myself and my friends. I see people like Zach who owns FTP, and he’s created something for himself, to where he can employ all of his close friends. They all work in a warehouse together and enjoy their quality of life and their work. That’s what I want for my friends. I want a warehouse where we can all just make and ship Comply, and not have desk jobs. What do you do to find new ideas and stay inspired? Do you ever find yourself in creative ruts, and what do you do to pull yourself out of that? I’m glad you asked that question. I do get in creative ruts. My most recent one was the longest lasting one and it went from February of last year, all the way to about August. So, it was at least five months, maybe longer. The way that I got out of it, and the way I get my creativity boosted, is just doing the things that I enjoy and surrounding myself with people who make me happy. I get my best ideas when I’m listening to music and doing a task, like when my body is on autopilot. Now I’m a seamstress, and I get to listen to music all day and use different sewing equipment, and it’s mostly repetitive. Because I don’t have to focus so much on what I’m doing with my hands in front of me, I can just think. That’s when I get some of my greatest ideas. Once you have ideas, what is the typical process for producing an item? What does it look like when you’re trying to reach an end goal? The process for creating clothing is different depending on what piece I want to make. I just recently created a pair of cargo pants, and the process is very different than

when I’m making a hoodie or t-shirt, which I’m more used to. Typically, the process involves creating a mockup with Photoshop on my computer and then figuring out how to get it produced to look as much like the mockup as possible. I like to do most of my stuff locally so, if I can, I use local printing companies and manufacturers to produce garments. If I can’t do that, then I’ll outsource it online. It’s a three-step process: making the mockup, getting the item produced, and then making changes to customize it or simply release it out. When we spoke before, it sounded like this was a very tiring process. Do you find that the process is worth it once you have the end result? Are you always satisfied with whatever you end up producing? I absolutely think that it is worth it, but I agree with you that it’s 100 percent taxing. It can be extremely mentally strenuous, and last year it took too much of a mental toll on me. It’s definitely a lot of work, but it’s well worth it. Whenever I’m working toward something for Comply, for instance the pants that I have been working heavily on, I’m in the best mood I could possibly be in. I’ve found that’s what makes me most happy. It’s the ultimate life high.

“I was young and wanted to be a part of something... but didn’t have an outlet that already existed, so I had to create one for myself.” 13

What are your opinions on current streetwear? How do you feel about hype clothing and how that has influenced fashion? I’ve already drifted from Supreme because I don’t agree with a lot of the business moves they’ve made over the years, and more recently I don’t agree with a lot of their behind the scenes actions. They’ve sold part of their company and strayed away from skateboarding culture. It seems like they’re more interested in profits, which I understand, but it has led me to no longer take inspiration from them. However, FTP is standing strong and remaining true to themselves, which makes them stand out to me. They don’t care what people think about what they do; they don’t even really care if what they make sells. They make what they want to make. That’s honestly what makes me tick -- seeing people doing something because they think it is cool. I really don’t like the current streetwear and fashion culture. I see myself as something entirely outside of fashion culture, and more so a part of clothing culture. Last year, fashion drifted into directions that I don’t necessarily like. I try to pay little attention to what other brands have going on, and what’s hot in the streets and the new trends. What are your opinions on designer brands? Do you buy into the idea that expensive equals style? I do not think expensive means style; style means style. However, I think that designer brands exist for a reason, and they’ll always have a place in society. Personally, I’ve never been one to glorify designer brands more so than any other brands. I think brands like FTP are a lot cooler than brands like Gucci. However, there’s a blend of both designer fashion and feeding into consumers’ demands. Brands like Alyx Studios do a great job at this. They’re able to create a designer-brand aesthetic and they even have expensive prices; however, they cater toward their customer base and

their following in a way that makes it seem like there’s a reason for it to be so expensive. I like brands that have a reason to be expensive. What are your main goals for the future and next steps for your art and Comply? What is your next step? I’ve been a lot more focused on the current right now. I used to be much more focused on the future of Comply. Right now, I’m very focused on the next two years. I want to grow Comply and gain enough support from people not just through their feedback but of their purchasing of my products. I want to make some sales to be able to expand it to more pieces outside of the traditional streetwear and items like hoodies, shirts, and pants. I want to be able to have things like button-up shirts, more custom-made pieces, and higher quality garments. I want to be able to grow it to become something that’s not only profitable for me but something where I can bring on my friends who have skills, and really be able to put on people that I think deserve it. I think that’s my ultimate goal and where I see myself in a few years. Do you have anything to say to others who are looking to pursue their artistic goals, or to people who are hesitant to step out of their comfort zone? To people who are diving into this, don’t cater too much to what you see and what you think people want to see. Do what you want to do and have a reason for it. Don’t just do something to do it. Move in silence because people clock your moves; people watch what you do. You want to make sure you’re doing things not for the attention but for the impact, or for the sake of being able to achieve that thing. That’s really all I have. You can only give so much advice to someone. They’re gonna take what they want from it. You have to build your own connections and make a name for yourself; key words: for yourself. Right: Photos by Adrian Gomez

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Adrian Gomez IG: @adrian_gomez_

With a love for capturing life in its purest and most candid forms, Adrian Gomez has mastered his gift to stop time and show others life through his eyes. His fearless pursuit of photography has sent him from the depths of shark filled oceans to the dusty peaks of sand dunes. Constantly striving to better himself with each shot, Adrian has devoted years to perfecting his skill, and the effort has not gone unnoticed. From releasing his first photo book, to shooting music videos and clothing promotions, he has proven his ability to execute any idea or vision he holds. The power to freeze life in a single frame has given Adrian the ability to bring his audience around the world and into the lives of the strangers he meets along the way. Despite being in an age of uncertainty, there is no doubt that within the next few years Adrian will open our eyes to the planet and people around us... Photos by Adrian Gomez

What initially got you into photography, and have you always had a creative drive? I think my first interaction with a camera was when I was six. My parents had this really shitty Olympus film camera. I would take that everytime we would go to the zoo or something. I didn’t think much of it until about sophomore year-that was really when I got into it. It was kind of a joke at first, I was just taking photos and pretending to be artsy. Then I started realizing that I’m actually kind of decent at it. I fell for it and I got in deeper. My first real project was with steel wool, and I just flung it around. From that moment on I was hooked. A turning point was when we went to Fort Davis, Texas. We would go there every year on the way to visit family in Mexico. Every time we stop at this observatory called McDonald Observatory. It’s the darkest place in the Northern Hemisphere, and when you go there you can see the entire cosmos. It’s like those pictures that look almost fake. I really wanted to capture it, but just didn’t know how to. Every year when we went back it became my proving grounds, and every year I would fail. Last winter, I was able to actually capture the Milky Way with the observatory in view. I realized it had been a five year journey for me trying to capture a single picture. The whole thing started as a joke and then progressed into me capturing moments in my life that mattered most. Who or what have been your biggest influences in your work? Honestly, my friends- mainly Terrence. He was always into visual production and taking photos and doing cool edits, and I always thought it was sick. It wasn’t until I started using Photoshop that I truly got an appreciation for what he did, and I started talking more with

“The whole thing started as a joke and then progressed into me capturing moments in my life that mattered most.” him. Sophomore year kicked off my photography addiction, and he was always there to feed into it. I would say he was one of my biggest inspirations, and I know I am for him as well. He’s the one that drives me. Last year I was questioning if this was right for me, and I had a lot of doubts. We were both going through it at the same time, and we were like, “Well let’s go out and make some more shit.” It ended up working out for both of us because now we’re both in good places in our lives and creating better content than we’ve ever created. I would also credit my mom, because she did support me throughout the entire time. She’s given me reinforcement. She’s always been the academic type, and I’m definitely not. I sucked at school, I barely got by. For her, it was always about school, but then once I started doing photography she eased off school a bit and supported me in that aspect. Is your photography self taught? 100 percent, besides one class on Photoshop. I went on YouTube and watched tutorials. I monkeyed around on Premier. It was mainly during school because that’s when I had access to it. During technology classes senior year, I was making edits on Photoshop and Lightroom and taking advantage of that. I’m not a classroom learner, I’m more of an experience based learner. I have to go do things, take pictures, learn from trial and error.

Does shooting photos come easily? Do you find that you have a natural eye or do you have to seek out moments to shoot? It’s a little bit of both. If I want to go for a certain look, I really will take my time. Let’s say for a photoshoot with Terrence where we are doing a project and he has a certain vibe he wants to do, then I’ll go look for good locations that I think fit it. When a theme is really necessary, I’ll try my best to attempt it. When I’m traveling and getting candids and landscape photography, a good portion of my landscape is in the car. It’s what you view outside your window- that’s what I like about it. It’s a quick little snap and it looks the best when it’s natural and just happens to be the perfect timing. As well as with street photography, you can’t really plan something- that’s the beauty in it. Street photography is supposed to be wild and chaotic, it’s supposed to be spur-of-themoment. You recently dropped a book with your photos. Where did that idea come from and what was that process like? I credit that to Shawn Ramchal (@shawn.ram). I went to a Swedlife shoot at Shawn’s house, and he’s a really cool photographer. When I got in there, he had his roommate’s books out, and his own photos were printed. I started looking through his book, and the pictures were so lifelike. It’s so different when seeing the work in a physical form. I was like, “ I have a terabyte of unused photos that are just burning a hole in my databanks, so I gotta do something with this.” I was sitting on a gold mine of content and needed to make something out of it. I went through like 30,000 photos, and a lot of it wasn’t even good. I would say 5,000 of it was decent. Then I narrowed it down to which ones I thought were the best,

and then I made it into a cohesive book. I tried making it an experience of how my eye has progressed. Most of the book is of Mexico, and that’s proving grounds to me. For me, Mexico is where the journey of my photography started, and I constantly try new ideas when I’m down there. For me, that book is an embodiment of my progress as a photographer. Do you ever see yourself investing more time in videography, or will you stick to photography? The past two years since graduating high school, I have made a lot of videos, like wedding videos that I was hired for. But I wanted to really focus on my photography and get a certain look in. I realized if I don’t have my entire photography down, I don’t think my videos will be as cohesive. I want my photography and my videos to be almost identical. So with that, I focused on photography and I’ve recently been getting back into videography. I just shot a music video last month that I’m still editing now, and my computer is about to fry. It’s with Noah Fence (@noahfenceb). If you don’t know him yet, you will. He’s a super cool dude, and super into activism. He was open to me and Terrence’s creative visions, and what we had for the song. I think that’s what I like best when I’m doing video: working with people who are actually open to me controlling their vision. That’s really hard to do, because you can never really show people what’s in your mind, but I try my best to pitch them well. How has the community or culture in St. Louis been for you growing up? What is the artistic scene like here, and how has it impacted you? I think it’s two fold. There’s a really bad part of it, where it’s very egocentric and focused on clout chasing, and people are in it for the wrong reasons. I don’t really associate with that side of the whole scene. I like stick

ing to what I have with my friends, with the people that I do know that are real like-minded and down to earth. I do think there’s a good portion of the scene where people are trying to do the same thing as me, and they’re just trying to create and show what St. Louis is for. I think St. Louis is in a unique position. We’re a city that’s been forgotten. We were once a cool, bustling city. Now it seems dead, but I think there’s a lot of culture here and a lot of history here that needs to be seen. I think it’s on the resurgence again. That’s what I want to help be a part of- put my perspective on it, make my art and help St. Louis get a name for itself. I don’t think I’m done with this place. How do you feel that you have evolved or grown up, and how has that translated into your work? I used to really be into what other people thought of me and my work. It wasn’t until recently where I kinda grew to like myself a lot more and got more confident. Honestly, I will credit that to doing a lot of shitty sale jobs. Doing that kind of stuff really humbled me. I realized I love myself and the person I am. I think a lot of people get too focused on what other people think. I think if you focus on your own stuff and put in the work, then you’ll get to where you want to be. As I grew up and was taking more photos and really trying different styles, I eventually started to refine what I enjoyed and what I’m good at. What would you say are your biggest goals in the future for you and your work? Recently I’ve been experimenting with underwater photography. Two years ago I went diving for the first time with sharks. I started realizing that I

really like the wildlife aspect of photography. I have always been enamored with Nat Geo. That’s what I want to do for a few years: go around, explore the world, and do some diving. I really want to try everything, that’s just the type of person I am. I hate saying that I have a style, because I do everything. Trying to refine it to one single thing seems too limiting to me. I gotta do it all. Whatever opportunities present themselves in the next year, I’m going to take. That’s just how I’ll go from now on. What would you say to someone who may be doubting their artistic abilities? Even if you have some doubt about what you can create, as long as one person likes it, you should continue making it. Even if it’s just your mom, I think you should create for your mom. Or not even for that, just for yourself. It puts you in a good mindset. With any aspect of art, whether it be music, painting, video, photo, any of that… they all have their benefits. If you have a gift and you truly believe in yourself, you should go follow it. Right now, I have so much more time. People pressure themselves too much with, “Oh I need to finish college in four years right after high school, and get a job right after that.” They don’t take any risks, and that’s kinda sad, because people get caught up in the monotony. They get into the cycle of the daily 9-5, trying to pay off student loan debt, and they never try anything that they really wanted to try. If you want to try something, do it. Now is the time.

“People get caught up in the monotony... If you want to try something, do it. Now is the time.”

Sunny Lu IG: @sunnywithacamera

From working with esteemed organizations like Know Your IX, to spearheading student led protests, to educating and radicalizing teens across St. Louis, Sunny Lu has had a deep impact on both local and national political discourse. Moving through life as an outspoken and driven young woman in a small Midwestern city has forced her to look both into herself, and out into the complex world around her, to form deep and grounded views. Her dedication to her values and beliefs drives every action. In an age of heightened dissent, upheaval, and revolution, she is a strong example for young and old alike. Not only is her political work groundbreaking, but her artistic creations reflect her individuality and brilliance. Through both art and politics, she is a poster child for the rising political revolution, as well as the bold resurgence of art within our generation. It is crucial to be pushing personal boundaries, challenging our current systems, and caring deeply for others. In times like this, people like Sunny can, and have, led the communities around them to change. If you are not already learning from Sunny, you should implement her work into your life today and alwaysâ€Ś

Photos by Sunny Lu

Have you always found that you have a creative drive? I’ve always felt like I’ve been creative, mostly because I’ve been taking art classes my whole life. It was almost an inevitability that I had to practice and draw and paint. It just transferred into something that was more for my personal appeal and aesthetic and expression as I grew older. It was always a part of who I was. What different mediums do you use, and what do you gravitate toward? I do portrait photography, and in terms of other visual media, I like gouache. I also like acrylic and oil on canvas. My favorite is probably gouache on paper, because I like how opaque it can be and how matte it dries. Who or what have been your biggest influences on an artistic level? I really like a lot of contemporary artists, like Andy Dixon and Anna Valdez. I also like a lot of illustrators, although I don’t do that. In terms of photography, I am really inspired by editorial and fashion photography. I also really like people who exclusively paint or draw plants and people. Focusing a bit on your activism, when and how did you become fully involved in your social justice work? It’s a big part of your social media presence now, how did you grow into that? Probably sometime in middle school I started thinking and reading for myself. In high school I started getting involved with speech and debate, which forced me to be in spaces where I was always talking about politics and race and class and gender. I was always talking about it and thinking about it, and so were my friends. It became inevitable that when conversations were had, I would engage with that and continue learning and growing.

In high school, when you spoke up about your political beliefs you had a lot of backlash and adversity. How do you feel that the community around you and within St. Louis shaped your politics? I think that St. Louis was good because it got me in contact with a lot of people who are very progressive. Within St. Louis, the inequity is so visible and clear. It became even more clear when I moved from Ballwin to Ladue. Getting engaged in local St. Louis electoral politics and nonprofit organizing groups has made me really jaded because seeing how the electoral system works on even the most local level was so disheartening. It helped radicalize me. Especially being at a school where so many people were so fervently white liberals or very conservative, I had constant challenges to my beliefs. The ways that its been not great are that because it’s such an insulated community and because St. Louis high schoolers all have weird connections, I ended up having a really weird parasocial relationship with so many people. A lot of people felt really entitled to what I thought. I think it also has to do with that toxic, online culture of people liking to jump on bandwagons of hating people, which I definitely got the end of. It really made my high school experience horrible. It was pretty eye opening in a lot of ways. Having what felt like my entire community and every system of power that I was in contact with being so hostile toward me was impactful in further radicalizing me because it also made me realize the degree to which people have been brainwashed. St. Louis is a microcosm of that. In a lot of ways we can see that so many injustices are exacerbated to a really extreme extent. I think St. Louis was really impactful in those ways. I know you currently work with Know Your IV. How did you become a part of that? What has that experience been like?

My friend Mina worked at Planned Parenthood, and I was volunteering with phone banking there. We connected on social media and we were mutuals for a year. They had seen the stuff I had been posting, and me just being loud online. They messaged me around April of 2019, and were like, “Hey do you want to meet up for some coffee? I’m about to lead this organization that’s gonna be really cool and I think you would be perfect for this visual communications job.” I ended up interviewing and got onto the team. I’ve met so many incredible people within that organizing group, and I have developed so many skills with digital organizing. A lot of those people that I’ve met through that group are some of my closest friends and mentors, and they all come from very different places in life. Some of them are law students, some of them live in NYC, some of them live in DC. A lot of them are at least a few years older than me. Our organization is constantly working to connect the intersections of gender violence on campus, and the ways it impacts different marginalized groups. We as an organization have to be active in tackling all of those issues, and I think we do a really good job at it. I’m really proud and happy to be a part of that organization. Combining your art with your activism, do you feel like your political beliefs have impacted your art? I think they’re definitely inseparable. Someone said that the role of the artist in the revolution is to make the revolution appealing, basically. I think that does ring as true. Especially in the age of social media being the predominant source of information for so many people, it’s inevitable that content creation and art and visuals are essential in pushing out action and in organizing people. Of course I think the way that state surveillance works, and the way that censorship

“I think art as escapism is really necessary in analyzing the function of the world, and also in being able to take care of oneself.”

in art and the way that what is considered art and with how photography is surveillanced… that’s all connected as well. I don’t think art is a universally good thing when applied to seeking political change, because I think that well designed graphics with inaccurate information are really harmful because it’s appealing to see. The media and social media are a part of the market, and exist as a way of profiting. What ends up happening is that people with good, solid information that isn’t packaged in that marketing way don’t get the engagement. That’s really unfortunate, but markets and aesthetics are tied together under capitalism. The goal of people who are trying to combine art and working in movements is trying to figure out where that connection can be utilized, and also how to not co-opt movements for art. For me there’s also a distinct separation between art that is political FOR other people’s understanding, and there is art that is political in that it is soothing and an escape. I think art as escapism is really necessary in analyzing the function of the world, and also in being able to take care of oneself. Art as escapism, art as the revolution, art as a way of mitigating social change… it can be used in a lot of ways and I don’t exactly know where I fall along these lines. It is something that is always at the back of my mind. I try to create art without an explicit sense of purpose, unless that is my intention or goal for the project.

Since this is mainly a fashion magazine, what do you hope to see change within the fashion industry? I think that with fashion, something that has been buzzwordy is the idea of sustainability. It’s just another way for companies to cash in on whatever’s hot. Ideally, entire industries that are based on the continuous production and consumption of goods would not exist. What is the purpose? What is the real goal of mass production and disposal at that level? There’s not enough room or resources or people on the planet to maintain the current level of fashion consumption. The idea that where you put your money is going to change the whole system is kind of ridiculous. No matter how many people buy through sustainable brands, as long as cheap, exploitable labor is a thing that can be utilized by massive, global fashion conglomerates, individual consumers’ choices are not going to impact the functional way that fashion is. As long as these businesses exist, their business models are based on continuous consumption. The whole idea of minimizing these industries is really the only way that justice for workers and the earth is going to be sustainable. The same way that art is so commodified in culture, fashion as art is even more commodified because it is so integral in day to day life, and also as cultural expression. I think it’s so unfortunate that every form of art is so deeply corrupted under existing systems of oppression, because all of them align to reinforce existing structures of inequality and injustice. Rooting things out at the core and entirely reimagining the world is essential in conversations regarding change for the better. What are your plans for the future? During and post college, what kind of work do you want to be doing in your life?

This changes a lot. I am not really sure what my future looks like, but right now I would love to work in the publishing industry. I would love to work in books, whether that be in marketing books or working with literary agents. I’m really passionate about literature. I would love to work in publishing. In college, I just want to connect with cool people and learn new things and figure out interdisciplinary paths regarding art and literature and the humanities. I have so many varying interests and I want to learn more about all of them and utilize the resources at college to be able to educate myself and find community.

“Rooting things out at the core and entirely reimagining the world is essential in conversations regarding change for the better.”

JABARI

WIMBLEY 33

Jabari Wimbley IG: @wimbleyy

During the current resurgence of young artists and designers, Jabari Wimbley was searching for the road less traveled. While he is passionate about fashion, music, and other art forms, he has informally become the Rug Guy. From icons like Angela Davis to lesser known indie French films, Jabari has created a wide range of rugs that leave his followers shocked and inspired. It seems that with every post he outdoes himself, and his progression as a creator is visible with his increasing skill and attention to detail in his work. Growing up with influences such as Tyler the Creator, Jabariâ€™s interest in art and thinking outside of the box has always been natural and almost inevitable. Always evolving, it is no surprise that Jabari has gained a large support system for his rugs and other projects. His growth mindset has catapulted him onto an upward trajectory, and his brain is always looking for the next task he can take on. In his next chapter of going to school to pursue fashion, there is no predicting what projects Jabari will take on, but we can be certain he will continue to impress...

Photos by Kol Bryson

What or who do you think has been the biggest influence on your style and art? Are there any role models? Role models…. I would definitely say Tyler and then I would say Ian Connor. I see shit on Instagram and it inspires me. Like Luka Sabbat, I saw a fit on him and was like “Oh that actually looks cool,” and I like his style. I guess just skate culture all around, like Illegal Civ and all of them. Yeah I was basically a poser for four years until I picked up a board, so there ya go. What initially got you interested in rug making specifically? I was on Instagram about four months ago, so right about when Corona really started hitting. I was on Ryder McLaughlin’s Instagram and I saw that one of his illustrations was on a rug, and I was like “Oh shit how did he make that?” It turns out he didn’t make it, so I checked the comments and this guy, Bailey Goldberg, made it. So I DM’ed him and was like “Yo can you make me one,” because I wanted to do a logo for mine. Then he said it would be $200 and I was like “Yo, that is fucking steep.” Obviously I respect his craft but I was like “nah.” So then I was looking up YouTube videos and reading articles on how to do it, and then I just did it. But Bailey Goldberg inspired me for sure, and also Deaton Chris Anthony because he makes a lot of cool rugs too. With your rugs, where do you pull ideas from to know what your next piece will be? So for my first one, I just thought Blondie looked cool. I remember seeing a video of Blondie, and Debby Harry was the first artist to ever have a hip hop music video on MTV, and I just thought she looked cool. Then, I was on Instagram and @jonah_ of_arc had put a picture of a movie called Celine and Julie Go Boating, and I was like “I wanna make this; this looks fucking hard.” So I DM’ed him asking what movie it was from, so then I made the rug about a month and a half later. I really just go off of what

looks cool at the time. It’s not a series. I recently did one on Angela Davis because I felt that I should do a woman figure. I was going to protests, and it seemed like every protest I was going to was led and organized by women. All these women out here are advocating for black men, and it shocked me that when it comes to women, dudes don’t care so much for women’s rights. So I decided I was doing Angela Davis because she is a feminist and advocates for prison reform, and then I just picked the picture randomly. And I did two commissions, and those were just requests. I know it takes a lot of time and energy to make each rug. Do you ever find that the work feels redundant, or does each piece bring new energy? I would say I’m always sick of it during the cutting part, because I have to cut each individual strand, and also during the ending of it. You see the part that’s not finished and you just want to hurry up and finish it. It is fun though, and I usually just listen to podcasts or music, and it passes the time. I’m probably sitting down for eight hours, so that’s like five podcasts. It’s exciting, because I always want to see the finished outcome. It’s cool to see the progress pictures as I go too. Shifting away from the rugs, I know you’re also interested in fashion. How do you stay in touch with current fashion, and in what ways have you formed your own style? I would say Instagram plays a big part in that, because I see what others are wearing. I wouldn’t say I’m up on as many trends, except maybe the obvious ones. I know that a couple years ago people were wearing the AF1s, and then CDG and all that. I’m not really up to date with other trends. I guess I’ve kinda fallen off. I used to dress super trash. Like if you look at my yearbook, I’m wearing high AF1s and a fake ass Supreme headband, like it was gross. It was 2016 though so you can’t hate me.

How has growing up in STL influenced your art and style? Growing up in St. Louis, I feel like we have to work with what we have. If you want to dress “cool,” you can only shop online. You have to go out of your way. We don’t have Fairfax or Soho, and we just got Reset like two years ago. You have to be strategic about it. I do all of my shopping online. I’m not that in tune with the STL art scene, but I do know people who are more into it. I think those people are doing great work. I really want to get more connected with that scene but I’m transferring schools to Chicago, so I will probably be more in tune with it out there. The scene here could expand more, and the people within it could be a little bit nicer. I don’t think people are really looking out for each other, if that makes sense. You just mentioned you’re transferring to Chicago for fashion. How did you make that decision, and what opportunities are you hoping come out of that change? I just stuck with fashion because that’s what I’ve been passionate about for the past five years. I chose Chicago because I’ve always wanted to live in a big city, and Chicago is way better than St. Louis. How do you feel that you have evolved as an artist and what mindset shifts have you had as you have grown up? I don’t really consider myself an artist because I don’t feel that what I do is that artistic. I have artistic ideas, but I wouldn’t say my rugs are super artistic. I feel like an artist is someone who makes original things. I have matured and become way more focused. When I was younger, I didn’t care about a lot. I would say, “Oh yeah, I want to do this in life…” but then I wouldn’t apply myself in any way to get there. So every day I would be talking about what I want to get into and what I want to do, but if I don’t apply myself, I’m never going to get there and I’m just going to be a bum. As the

“Growing up in St. Louis, I feel like we have to work with what we have.” years have passed and with the ending of my freshman year of college, I’ve started to get into a mindset where I want to be productive and execute what I think. If I think of an idea, I need to attempt it. When I was younger, I would think of an idea and I wouldn’t even try it. Now I just want to try it, and be able to say I did it. How do you keep yourself inspired and stay productive? Going outside helps, talking with friends, and in general being around other people helps. The people around me inspire me, and conversations spark up different ideas. If I stay inside, I get too much into my head and I get down. What are your main goals moving forward with your work and your life in general? I hope that I graduate, and stay connected with my friends. I want to either stay in Chicago or move to California. That sounds cliche but there’s a lot to do out there. I want to build connections because the friends I have around me could also benefit from it. Also, I want to be more financially stable and build up savings.

Do you have any advice to people who are trying to start their own artistic journey? Just go for it. And if it hasn’t been done, just go out there and do it. With the rugs, it was all from YouTube, and it could’ve looked like shit but it didn’t. I just went for it. Go with your first idea. I think the first take on things is the best. If I ever record something, I’m not going to retake it. I’m gonna go with the first take because it almost always looks the best. Whatever you want to do, just go for it. Don’t let anyone discourage you or put you down. You can do anything you want.

“Just go for it. And if it hasn’t been done, just go out there and do it.” 38

WIMBLEY WIMBLEY WIMBLEY WIMBLEY WIMBLEY WIMBLEY WIMBLEY WIMBLEY 39

Sophana Holdegraver & Andra Staicu IG: @sophana111 & @andrastaicu

In imagining the purest, most tranquil moments in life, the mind wanders to the feeling of fresh dew on bare toes in the morning, the sound of a dog’s padded paws tapping the hardwood, or the perfectly timed flicker of lightning bugs on a July evening. The nostalgic, captivating effect that these scenes hold is the same emotion portrayed in Sophana Holdegraver and Andra Staicu’s art. Not only are their photography pieces ethereal, their friendship is one built on unconditional acceptance and a deep dedication to one another. This authenticity, trust, and love radiates from their collective work, leaving viewers feeling safe within the walls of their art. The intimacy portrayed through their work is gripping, and is built up from their instant connection with one another. The focus on portraying the human body and the natural world as one, with unending acceptance and gratitude, challenges the current age of profiting off of imperfections. In a time where the media and feelings of inadequacy rule our lives, returning to one’s inner self is the key to fulfillment. Andra and Sophana are two people who seem to have grasped this key, and their attitude exudes energy that is rare and promising… Photos by Andra Staicu

To build some background on your friendship, how and when did you two meet? A: We knew each other in high school through theatre, but we didn’t become friends until after I graduated high school. S: Yeah, it was at your senior grad party that we really matched. A: She ended up spending the night with a couple of other girls and we just merged, essentially. How would you describe your friendship? What is the dynamic like? S: Our friendship is really safe and comforting. We are really good at having each other’s backs and sensing each other’s feelings. That’s something I’ve more needed to work on, because Andra is much more of a baby. There was a time when I was like “Andra, here’s all my shit,” but we both know each other’s limits now. We both know how to water each other and help each other to grow. A: She can read me so well. I generally am simple to read, I wear my emotions on my face. She will look at me and be like “Oh is this social stimulation too much for you, do you need to go home?” She caters to my sensitivities a lot, and I really appreciate her for that. How did you develop the artistic element of your relationship? What was your first project together? S: The very first thing she did of me was at Loufest. She took photos of me and then ended up drawing one of the pictures. That was the first thing, but I wasn’t too interactive with it. A: That summer you started sensing that I should take pictures of you, but back then it was sort of just nudes. That’s probably how it began actually. From the start there were very little boundaries between us, and I think that’s what really allowed us to have the open foundation that we built upon with our friendship and our art.

I have always loved that drawing from Loufest that Andra did of Sophana. S: When she first drew me, I was really shook because I was like, “Oh my god she got my nose!” I would always ask people if they could draw me and they’d be like, “Oh black people are really hard to draw.” But she got my nose, and I don’t know why that was so important to me, but the fact that she got it so perfectly, I was like, “Oh my god this girl likes me a lot.” Can you go into more detail about what it looks like for you two to create your photo shoots? What is that process like and what roles do you each have? S: Sometimes it’s planned in the sense that it’ll be midnight and I’ll just be staring at myself in the mirror and trying on clothes, and I’ll be like, “Andra, when are you free? I have an idea for a photoshoot.” Most of the time I don’t even necessarily tell her, or have a mood board or a vision that I send her. When we first became friends and were so open with each other, it became easy for her to just kind of read what I want. I would come with the clothes I wanted to show her and she would be able to get what I needed. A: Right, and the fact that we have the same taste and expectation that we want to have in art, and our style is very similar. We’ve always been on the same page. Sometimes she’ll come with a more specific vision, other times she just has a couple outfits and I will just be like, “Oh let’s try something outdoors, or try something in this part of my house with this lighting.” We just try out different things, but we always do a variety of stuff.

“We both know how to water each other and help each other to grow.”

Where do you draw inspiration from artistically? How have you developed your art styles? A: The first thing that came to me is this photographer that I follow on Instagram. I started following Diana Silvers years ago, when she was modeling for Brandy Melville. She’s best friends with this photographer named Alex Hainer (@alex_hainer), and they’re a Scorpio/Pisces best friend, photographer duo. I’m like, “Dude, we’re the fucking same!” I love the style they do. I love the ethereal, glowing essence that they do. I love their photos when they’re super outdoorsy, or have that antique look. I’m definitely inspired by that, and making things more vintage. I’ve always been drawn toward flowers and forests. Sophana definitely matches that too. S: Yeah, I love that look. A lot of people will ask if I can do other stuff, and I can, but that’s just more what speaks to my soul-- being in a forest, wearing white dresses. I just really love when photos look dreamy and glowy. Even though I’ve done it so many times, I feel like every time I redo it, it gets better and better. A: I also love photographs that look like they could be paintings. I took AP Art History my senior year, and I’ve always been big into painting and adoring all kinds of art styles from different cultures. I love doing a light and dark contrast, and imitating a painting. S: I also wanted to say, besides the editing of adding a filter or making the lighting look pretty, we never edit any part of my body. We never Facetune, and we never make me look different than I am. I’ve always valued that in our pictures. We keep it real. What is your opinion on the St. Louis art scene? How do you feel you fit into that community? S: I don’t feel like I have ever really fit in. In high school, I was never really in a friend group, and I just bounced around. I feel that’s been the same situation with the STL scene too. My toes are sometimes dipped in it, but I don’t think I’m fully plunged into it like some people are. I think sometimes it is a little biased with who chooses to support who.

It’s gotten a little bit better, but I definitely feel like there’s a weird criteria for you to actually be in it, and have people sharing your stuff. I don’t want to make Andra feel called out or anything, but I feel like her stuff is so amazing, but because she’s not as much in the scene, or friends with certain people, her art and her page aren’t getting shared as much as I think she deserves. A: I feel like with the scene you have to have certain connections and really have to put yourself out there on Instagram and reach out and actively DM people and merge your way in. I was never the person to do that, and I never had people approach me. I just stayed off to the side, and I’m totally fine with that. I’m not going to kiss anyone’s ass, and I also need to cut down on the amount of time I’m on Instagram. I like doing my own thing and being as uninfluenced as possible. Andra, what do you admire most about Sophana? A: The first thing that came to mind is her grit. She has this inner fire that is just like, “We’re gonna do this!! We’re gonna do this because I want to.” With me, I’ve always been held back by myself, and nothing else really. I just hold myself back a lot. And Sophana draws that out of me. She’s such a good example to me in that, and she’s such a great person for me to be around because she assures me that I can do anything. I really admire her for being in my life and doing that for me. I really admire her doing that in her own life, because she’s gotten herself into so many great things, and it’s going to take her so far. Sophana, what do you admire most about Andra? S: I don’t want to say her compassion or kindness, so I’ll put that as second. I would say her intelligence, and not just book smarts. I always tell her she is one of the smartest people I know. I have learned so much from her friendship. My hate for capitalism definitely grew from her, and I talk

about things I never knew about before her. She is so empathetic, and maybe that’s a bad thing sometimes. She gets so overwhelmed by it. She knows how to comfort every single person around her. She makes my heart a little softer. Whenever I’m feeling down or like I can’t keep going, she is always there to lift me up. What advice would you give other young artists who may be hesitant to pursue their artistic goals? S: Try a little bit of everything, and dabble in anything you can think of. I think one thing that has made us grow so much in our photography and our friendship is just being able to try with each other. Dip into everything, try it out, and if it doesn’t work out that’s okay. We’ve tried so many things with lighting and colors. She’s held a little empty toilet paper tube with a flashlight in it for a spotlight. You can find the most random thing around you, and you can play with it. A: For me, I know my creativity and wanting to pursue it and just create art, is closely intertwined with my mental health. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself, and I compare myself to other people and discourage myself because everyone else is doing what they want to do and being so amazing and original. Know where to draw the line for branching out and looking for inspiration, and maybe have a few people that can lift you up and that you’re really close with in person. Form a really genuine connection with one or a few creative people, because that’s really all I needed to sustain myself in that. Know when to turn off the internet and just look inside. I draw inspiration from things that gave me a lot of pleasure when I was a kid. I would spend a lot of time in the forest when I was a kid, and I think that’s why I’m so attached to that. Simple aesthetics like the cottage core aesthetic... like that just summed up a lot of what I appreciated as a child and what brought me sensory satisfaction.

Really know when to unplug and look inside. Go back to your purest self, and envision what your purest self wants to create. That’s always been my battle to overcome-- to stop focusing on external influences and let myself do what I want to do. S: Going off the comparing thing, that’s something that I think Andra does a lot, and she’s like my other half so it dips into me. If I’m ever trying to do a photoshoot and make art for the purpose of getting so many likes, it doesn’t come out as good. When I get inspiration from myself, and I know it will make me feel fired up, I will look back and be proud. If I’m just doing it to try and make someone else feel good about it, it never feels as wholesome. Just be true to yourself and make art for yourself. If it’s for you, it will turn out better. A: Exactly, and a lot of times you have a project that you don’t feel highly of, but when you post it, it gets a lot of hits and a lot of people like it. Sometimes my vision is warped or what I align with my art is something that other people perceive so differently.

“Really know when to unplug and look inside. Go back to your purest self, and envision what your purest self wants to create.”

SOPHIE

Sophie Schoedinger IG: @soph.sch

Being a young girl from suburbia with a yearning for a big city and a life full of creativity, Sophie Schoedinger set her sights on her golden ticket out of Missouri: The Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT). Only taking up an avenue of space in Chelsea, New York, FIT is a haven for young creatives who have bold dreams of pursuing careers in fashion and art related fields. Being one of the top fashion schools in the country, and #1 in the fashion business track, FIT is tough and tiring, but deeply fulfilling for those who venture into the small New York oasis. Despite experiencing delays and obstacles, Sophie never wavered in her goal of attending the school, and she never took no for an answer. Her experiences within the city have not only exceeded her dreams of living in the Big Apple, but they have forced her to grow into herself and trust her intuition in ways she never would’ve imagined. Her spunk and fearlessness when it comes to being her authentic self have carried her through a city that so often chews people up and spits them out. Although she is navigating college in the age of a pandemic, Sophie’s fierceness and tenacity will likely take her far as she tackles life in the country’s toughest city... Photos from Sophie Schoedinger

What is your major at FIT, and how did you choose it specifically? My major is Fashion Business Management (FBM), and I chose it just because out of all of the majors it suited me best. It incorporated my love for fashion design but with the reliability of a business degree. It felt like the smartest choice.

It was crazy. It was a big transition for me because I was in my hometown for a semester after everyone else, and it was weird and disheartening and people were confused about why I was so stubborn. But it paid off, so that was good. I think they get a lot of applications, and it’s hard to get into, but my stubbornness paid off.

Did you always know that you wanted to go to fashion school? So I actually didn’t realize or find out about FIT until my junior year of high school. I took the Fashion Merchandise class at Marquette with Ms. Hamlin, and there was a unit on college opportunities. She showed us FIDM, FIT and maybe Parsons, and once I found out about FIT and the major, I gravitated toward FIT. And the thought of living in New York was obviously very exciting to me as a junior. So, yeah I think it was location and the major of FBM. I felt like I would enjoy FIT the most.

Who or what has influenced your style? Do you have any role models? The first person that comes to my mind, and I just love her Instagram, is Devon Lee Carlson. She’s super cute. But I would say my inspiration is very eclectic, and I think about my room and the accessories that I own and it’s almost borderline crazy grandma but also cute in a way. I love 60s and 70s culture, and just Mod era items. It’s funny living in NYC, you see all different types of people, and everyone has their own fashion sense. Of course there’s the streetwear, that’s a big thing. I still kinda dress like I’m trying to be Strawberry Shortcake and just live my best life. I don’t have a specific person that I draw inspiration from. It’s just what I consume on social media and seeing people around NYC that inspires me.

Did you face any challenges or uncertainty going into it? Fashion is very selective and challenging, did you ever struggle with that? Oh my god, for sure. For pretty much the whole summer after graduation, I put all my eggs in one basket. I only applied to FIT, Mizzou and a couple of state schools, just to fall back on. I only really wanted to go to FIT. I didn’t find out until the end of July that I was waitlisted for my major. It was at the very beginning of August that I found out that I wouldn’t make it off the waitlist, and I was going to have to try again. Obviously, that was crazy and disheartening for me. As fall came around all of my friends were going to college and enjoying it and not living with their parents anymore, and I was in St. Louis just like “What the hell. I don’t want to go to any other college, and I’m not gonna give up.” So I took a job in retail and revamped my entire essay. I traveled to New York again and talked with the head of admissions and sold myself essentially. I then got in for the spring semester.

Living in NYC, you’re in the global hub for fashion. What kind of experiences or internship opportunities have you or your friends had? It’s been weird recently because of the pandemic, I know a lot of friends have had internships cancelled. Everything has changed so fast. For opportunities, it’s kinda crazy. One of my classmates always blew my mind because she had this flourishing styling career, and she’s only a semester further than me. I remember asking her “How the hell did you finesse this at your age? Like how are you dressing rappers right now?” and her story was like, “I found the right people at the right time.” I guess being in NYC, you get those little moments where you’re talking to the right person at the right place and you can get all these crazy cool opportunities.

Moving from a Midwest city like St. Louis to New York City, how has that shift been and how would you compare the cultures, because obviously they’re very different? That was a crazy transition for me. I always knew in high school that I didn’t want to stay in Missouri, and I think a lot of it was originally me being an angsty teen. I think as I got older, I appreciated St. Louis but I kind of wanted a bigger city to have access to. It was a big transition. When I first moved here, I think I was so scared and so unhappy for the first three weeks. I was just so out of my element. All of a sudden, I went from growing up in quiet, suburban West County to downtown New York, and it was crazy. I had to mature in ways that I didn’t know I even could, just because this city is crazy in a good way. I remember being 18 years old and just standing on the street being so scared. It did a big number on my confidence and my body language. That is the type of thing that matters being a young woman in New York. You have to look confident and assert yourself or else you will be taken advantage of. I have to act strong. The city moves much faster. It’s hard not to make it a competition because there’s so many young, creative and cool people here. Especially going to FIT, that’s the whole thing. It’s hard not to compare yourself and get caught up in that go go go lifestyle. That was not a thing in Chesterfield. It’s a hard working community. People of St. Louis work their asses off, but I think that it’s just different. Adding onto that, how is the culture of FIT specifically? I’m sure it’s super competitive and intense. People ask me this a lot because I think FIT’s student body has a bad rep, for kind of legit reasons. I think it depends on the major you’re in. With FBM, it can be more snooty. It has the hypebeasts that think they’re all that, and the teenage models who move here and flex on the gram.

“I had to mature in ways I didn’t know I even could.” It can be very cliquey. The campus is small, and you can get wrapped up in it. If you sort out the fake, you can find really genuine people. The snooty crowd of FIT get all of the spotlight and ruin it for everyone else, as harsh as that sounds. I think it’s like any new environment, you just have to find the right people and sort out who you want to spend your time with. Do you feel totally satisfied with going to FIT, and do you think you will stay in NYC after graduation? I am satisfied with FIT. I mean there’s a lot of things that can be worked on within how it’s run. I think with any college, you’re always going to have that. As for my personal experience, I really enjoy it. My professors’ experience in the industry are enlightening for me. They have been paid to do the thing that they are teaching you to do. I love the city, and I definitely want to stay here for the majority of my 20s. I don’t know if I see myself here any older than 30 just because it is a tiring city, but I do love it here. I love the quirks, and as for my education, I feel like I am benefiting from being here and going to FIT. What are your opinions on current fashion? A big reason that fast fashion is a thing is because economically, outsourcing it makes sense to a lot of big companies who don’t want to pay workers to make it here. There are so many different ways you can ethically source fashion. One of the biggest things about it is naturally sourcing items and not highlighting so much of, “I can just go on Shein or Zaful or whatever and spend $100 on 30 items that all fall apart in two months.” It’s important to invest in items that were ethically sourced but will last you a long time.

How have you created your own style, and how do you set yourself apart in a school that so heavily values individualism? Forming my own style has always been something that I enjoy a lot. I like cute, pretty, and unique things. I think that everyone has their moments, including me, where you’ll see someone’s outfit that you wish you had, and it turns into something negative when it’s supposed to be an inspiration. I don’t really draw my inspiration from what people are wearing on campus. If I like it, I like it. I love patterns and bright colors. It’s something that I’ve just developed over my transition from being a teenager to an adult. It’s hard to describe how I get my own style when it’s all just kind of organic. What are your main goals post grad? What does your dream life look like outside of FIT? I think my end goal would be being the creative director for a luxury brand. As my style develops and changes, I go back and forth between which designer. I don’t think I would ever want to start my own brand, but that could always change. Being at FIT, with every class that I take and every new thing that I learn, it’s making me question exactly what I want to do because I’m finding out about all of these other career paths I could go to. These past couple months I’ve been like, “Well do I want to be a stylist, do I want to be an editor for a magazine?” I obviously want to be successful and be in the fashion industry and do something that I love. There are so many different avenues that I could go down, I just can’t decide. I don’t think I will know exactly what I want to do until maybe halfway through my bachelor’s degree. It’s kind of like in high school, when you think you know what you want and then you graduate and you want to do something completely different. I know what I want and then it might change the next day.

Do you have any advice for someone who may be wanting to pursue a career in fashion but they may be hesitant about the industry? Coming from St. Louis, people were like, “What the hell is FIT?” It’s not a career that is talked about a lot. I would say just do it. I think with the fashion industry, people for so long have been like, “Okay well that’s not an actual career”. But it is, and it can be really fun and rewarding and a great creative outlet. I’ve learned so much about how to run a business and how to market myself and everything like that. If you’re an artistic person and you enjoy extending that artistic vision onto what you wear, it can be really fun. Just do it, and you’ll end up really enjoying it. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. That’s something that I realized closer to high school graduation. I realized I don’t want to go to Mizzou, I don’t want to go to KU. I don’t want to do what my sister or brother did. I wanted to see if this would work, and if it does, it does. If you like it that’s great, and if you don’t, find something else that you love.

“Just do it... You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. If you like it that’s great, and if you don’t, find something else you love.”

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Hasan El-Amin IG: @elam1nn

Growing up in a city that is inherently political, with two parents who are involved in government, Hasan ElAmin naturally fell into a box of politics and law. Going into college, he was forced to challenge his own values and passions, and came to the realization that a life of creation is what he needs most to thrive. Between his long-time passion for photography, and his new found interest in videography, Hasan has a wide range of skills and artistic endeavors. His natural artistic eye mixed with his strong determination and deep dedication to gratitude have placed him on a path of consistent production of impressive works with an unprecedented art style. From a childhood in St. Louis, to his freshman year as a politics student in Atlanta, to his upcoming sophomore year as an art student in Houston, his experiences and growing comprehension of the world around him have aided in his rise as a young artist. As with any artist, Hasan is highly critical of his work and rarely feels fully satisfied with his pieces. Despite this personal conflict, his work is striking. Hasanâ€™s talent mixed with his constant personal evaluation seems to be the perfect combination for a lifetime of continuous growth and unmatched artistic discoveryâ€Ś Photos by Hasan El-Amin

What initially got you interested in creating art, and what was the first form of art that you pursued? As a sophomore in high school, two things got me into art. First, I was like, “My Instagram could look really cool if I had some edits.” Second, I knew art was a way to talk to more girls. As a sophomore, I was in Intro to Photo and started taking the camera home. I didn’t have a tripod or anything. I would place the camera on different surfaces, turn on the built in flash, put on timers, and take photos. I learned a lot of Photoshop in school and from just messing around with it. Who or what have been your biggest external influences in your art and style? My high school photography teachers guided me and allowed me to flourish by getting me right on the technical side of things. My influence though is constantly changing... coming from music and then the social, cultural and political scene at the time of my creating. Music is probably the biggest influence and that shifts all the time. I get a lot of what I do from what I listen to and how I feel. More specifically, on your recent work shooting music videos, is a lot of that self taught? How did you navigate that? YouTube out the ass. Youtube has been my best friend. The photo stuff I have done for quite some time and took some classes, but the video has all been Youtube and learning Premier. Also, being in Atlanta for this school year helped because I had people surrounding me who were helping me with that. At the moment, I’m not satisfied with what I’m doing. I’ll drop a video and look back at it and be like, “The fuck?” It’s not parallel with my photo and graphic design work, and I feel kinda shitty about it. I’m about to put out one more video and then be done for the year so I can focus on learning the

technical side of it. I have so many ideas, but bringing that to life within the video is pretty difficult. It’s like a reset button to get my bread up and learn a lot more. Going off of that, do you find that there’s a big difference when you’re shooting videos versus still photos? How are the processes different? Even on the photography side, my stuff looks good, but I’m missing a lot of the fundamental pieces in both photo and video. I make it happen with photography because I’ve been doing it for a minute, but on both I’m short sometimes. Videography, it’s a lot more trial and error. I redo a lot. It takes a lot longer to shoot, and it takes a lot longer to edit. I’ve deleted full videos and restarted. Also, my little Surface Pro that I’ve got fights demons when I’m editing. I’m talking about crashing; it’s just terrible. So, it’s not as smooth on the editing side and on the behind the camera yet. How has growing up in St. Louis impacted your work? I love St. Louis. St. Louis is rough as fuck, but there are some diamonds. There is some beautiful shit in St. Louis that can be seen past the rough shit. So within my art, it can be very colorful, very layered, but sometimes fucked up and weird--like St. Louis. St. Louis is beyond the superficial. Even within how segregated St. Louis is, there’s diversity and little bubbles of culture all around-whether that’s North County, North City, South County, South City, West County, whatever. Within my art, there’s a lot of layers and contrast. Going off of that and then your time spent in Atlanta, how do you feel the community and culture of St. Louis compares with that of places you’ve been? St. Louis is so shitty compared to everyone. Because we are so segregated, people are closed off to each other. Within St. Louis, there’s a lot of hating ass shit that takes place. Also, our creative scene is very

weird. Now at the moment, there’s a boom of creatives taking place. I think it’s improving and we are moving forward, but it’s still pretty shitty. I wish there was some New York or Atlanta shit where it’s real close, everyone’s real cool with each other and we can all just meet up with each other at one spot, and kick it and be chill and make art. It’s just not present. There’s a lot of creatives here, but there’s no links between them because of that segregation. Atlanta, everywhere you go it’s some creative shit and people are open to embrace you. I don’t wanna throw money into that Southern hospitality bullshit but everyone is just cooler down there. I think we are really closed off here because of how dangerous the city is. If you don’t know someone, there’s some skeptical shit. It’s not that same way in Atlanta or New York or Houston. Our scene’s not really connected; it’s blotchy like, “Okay that’s Kylie, she went to Marquette and you have your group. Then there’s another group over here and another group over here.” The bridges of communication are not there. Looking back on your first year of college, you had conflicts with going for art versus something more practical, and you ultimately decided art. What brought you to that decision and thought process? I’ve been involved with politics all my life because of my parents. I started getting older and learning more about it and how messed up stuff is. I also interned at the circuit attorney’s office last April, and I was in court every day interviewing people. It was just making me sad. I thought I wanted to be a lawyer and do that type of work, but I don’t want to live that life of conflict. I believe 2050 is when we will really see change… when the numbers and the representation look a lot different… when it becomes a plurality and not a majority/minority thing. We’ve already started to see that shift politi-

cally, so I was like, “Let me do something I’m passionate about.” I did my political work because I care about people and I love people. Another reason was because my parents did it, and I kinda wanted to please them. Now, I’m like, “Let me do this more for me.” I like to spark thought. How do you feel that you’ve evolved as a person, and have you had any big mindset shifts as you’ve grown? How has that related to your art? As I have aged, especially in high school, I’ve started to be more appreciative, mindful, and thoughtful about the conflicts going on in my life. I would love to live in a constant state of gratitude and acknowledgement of excellence. That’s really difficult, especially at a time like this, and that’s something I work toward every day. I learned that shit happens, and with conflict comes growth. Those are two things that I picked up on my junior year of high school. I believe if I live by that and commit to it, then I can live in a constant state of happiness, appreciation, and gratitude. It’s been really rough, and my freshman year had a lot of ups and downs. I didn’t want to go to the school I went to, I hated it before I even got there. I’m glad I went. A point in time came when I was just like, “Okay chill, it’s whatever.” Then October to December, I’m on some permanent happiness stuff, like on some Superman shit. January to the end of semester, I was down bad. I was hurting. I was not myself, and I wasn’t in alignment with myself. So, my thing is just staying consistent, because when you do that your life becomes easier.

“I would love to live in a constant state of gratitude and acknowledgement of excellence.” 61

What are your main goals for yourself or your work in the future? I want to be an entertainment Renaissance man. Be a little bit more savvy too. I’m on some nice guy shit a lot of the time, so sometimes I still do stuff for free. I need to be more business savvy and invest more into myself. Be a better listener and learner. Work toward my goals and manifest that shit, and not let ideas just be ideas. I have a lot I want to do besides just photography and videography. I want to start DJing. I want to do more fashion stuff, like I’m learning how to sew. I’m complete ass, trash, garbage, but I’m learning. I want to do a lot more to round that off, so when I’m 25, I’m set financially but I’m also happy doing what I want to do. I don’t want to be the dude doing $50 photoshoots. I don’t want to be in St. Louis and be drained artistically, mentally and spiritually at 25. I want to travel. I want to do this shit. I want to be involved in the music scene, the fashion scene, and when people look at me they’ll be like, “Damn that dude is doing it. He’s well rounded.” I want to be able to offer a platform to those who don’t have it on an art end eventually. Lastly, what kind of advice would you give to people that are wanting to pursue their own artistic goals or want to step out of their comfort zone in that realm? With conflict comes growth. When shit is hard or you’re trying to learn photography or videography, or let’s say you make music and your streaming numbers aren’t there, whatever. Embrace every experience like a learning opportunity, positive or negative. That’s hard to live by, and I struggle to do that. If you do that, it makes shit a lot easier and you’ll get a lot better at what you’re trying to do artistically. Also, do it for yourself. I’m still working on that, doing what I do for me,

It’s hard doing that and being about that, especially in a time of social media. I may post something and be like, “Is my audience gonna fuck with this? Is this gonna get the likes blah blah blah.” Do it because you love to do it.

“With conflict comes growth… Embrace every experience like a learning opportunity, positive or negative.”

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f l i g h t l e s s Pakistan steams daal chawal risen from a goats bloody wrist sparing a corner of each thigh she saves each grain. told each hold’s Allah’s word the goat is never wasted curated artifacts always left for the birds. messages left for the flightfull to carry home again to find mother, In place of those whose wings are stripped each feather by day. a writhed country lodged in plastic jaw gripping each tooth by the root grass lentils and rice coating the throats of a home can be forgotten if it no longer exists in it’s sleepless creation.

c o u n t r y when birthright decides to consume land over salted waters. consequence of alienation of the furrow of a white neighbors body at the sight of Pakistan wrapped tightly in green chiffon. she cuts goat breath into fine pieces leaves it safe for travel into the beggars mouth. fear is only chosen. blame it on settlement, a motherâ€™s dream, coated throat, accepted extermination flightless country.

- sarah abbas

Sarah Abbas IG: @sarah_.abbas

In the age of political expression and artistic appreciation, slam poetry has become a striking form of sharing messages and experiences. I remember my first time watching Sarah Abbas perform one of her poems. I was sitting in bed late one night watching the video on Instagram, and once I turned my phone off for the night, I couldn’t stop thinking about the words she had shared. The ability to leave a lasting imprint on the people you reach is an ability that can be used in revolutionary ways. Being a young, queer, brown, Muslim woman, Sarah has had a unique experience growing up in America, and even more so in Missouri. The poetry community and her journey in her work have lent to her blossoming into the most bold and unapologetic version of herself. Her use of words and her power when presenting them have allowed her to share her story and her values in a beautiful artform. Sarah’s poetry is a window into her life, and her audience is able to take away a piece of her in every poem they encounter. The ability to share yourself and your story with the world in such an eloquent way is a rare talent. Sarah’s bravery in unpacking her past and her skill in presenting these realizations into a stunning package have touched many, and left a lasting impression on those around her… Photos by Zack Lesmeister

What initially got you interested in writing poetry? I have always been drawn toward writing and reading. Because my mom is a doctor and because I’m brown, it was kind of just implied that I was just going to be a doctor. When everyone asked, I was like, “Yeah, I’m gonna go into medicine”. Then freshman year, my yearbook sponsor was like, “Hey you write pretty good articles, you should try writing poetry.” So I randomly participated in the Marquette poetry slam and that ended up going well, and it snowballed from there.

weeks to write it. In situations where I have a set time and know exactly what I need to give to the audience, I make a list of everything I want to address in the poem. For the next couple days, I start writing random lines, even if they don’t make sense. Then, I take it all together and find an intro and ending. Most of the time when I’m writing for myself, I sit down one day, start writing, and then two hours later I’ll have a poem, and then I never touch it again. When I’m really invested in an idea or a poem, I just go at it until it’s done.

Who or what have been your greatest influences in your writing? The person I owe all of my poetry success to is Zack Lesmeister (@cultiv. asian). He is the one who introduced me to Brave New Voices, the international poetry competition. He’s the one who coached me and helped me with State [competition]. He took me on a road trip to Button Poetry to get me a video. I owe so much of my success to him, and having him there has been such a good support system. Poetry wise, in terms of my writing itself, the top two poets would be Safia Elhillo and Fatimah Asghar. For one, Fatimah Asghar is a queer Muslim poet. When I started writing, I thought I was straight. Reading her, I felt more comfortable knowing that there were people who came from the same place as me and still had the strength and ability to come out. And Safia Elhillo, her writing is just so gripping and it makes you think for days afterwards, which is my goal with my writing -to have people thinking.

Building off that, does it always come easy to you or do you struggle with finding the words? I always have a big concept that I want to address, but it definitely becomes very difficult when you get into the nitty gritty. It’s hard to find the words and metaphors you want to address. Sometimes I think complicated things are a lot more simple, so then when I’m writing it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. It really helps me to talk out loud about it, so I will hang out with some of my friends and just talk it through. When I do that, I will come up with another branch. It’s like a tree. Every poem has to have a structure with everything connected in a certain way.

What does the writing process look like for you? Do you take a set path, or does it look different each time? It depends on what the writing is for. For example, an organization called Forward Through Ferguson wanted to commission me for a poem, and I had two

You were the youngest person to be featured on Button Poetry (@buttonpoetry). How did that happen, and what was it like? Zack always goes to Minnesota for Button Poetry live, so we went up in August, which was only less than a month after BNV. I was 16 and it was full of adults. It was so scary. The competition is set up so that they record all of your poems. I ended up getting second place. Then six months later, I was on my phone crying over my AP Bio final grade and I got the notification that Button uploaded my video. It was really cool, and the youngest person after me was 18.

How has being a part of BNV helped you grow? BNV changed my life. It was so hardcore every day. I spent half of my summer doing poetry stuff with a group of people whom I hadn’t met up until that point. It’s in Vegas, and there were teams from every state. Everyone was so kind. It felt like all of these people that I had never met were my family, and they supported me in everything I did. It was the most loving environment I had ever been a part of. Going through the competition, we were sleeping three hours every night. I was in 14 poems and Zack was in 13. Every night we went outside at 2 a.m. to practice our poems over and over again. It was the most I had ever put my body and mind into something, and it ended up being such a beautiful experience. A lot of your poems are rooted in your identity. How has your poetry been a channel for your expression and activism? It has made such a big difference. Just starting off writing, it gave me more bravery because I realized I was allowed to talk about things that aren’t normal-things that shouldn’t be happening. Being able to write on them and speak about them, and being able to get people to listen to you is such a beautiful thing to me. Also, when you’re involved in the poetry community, you hear a lot about other poets and their experiences and their trauma. Just being around other poets, I learned so much from them. Being able to put my experiences into words for other people to understand them and to be able to look back and reflect on them is really helpful. Even before BNV, I did a poem for a gun control rally. I was able to use this ability and do something with it. How has poetry helped you look into yourself and evolve as a person? Without poetry, I would be going to med school next year, and I would still

think I’m straight. Poetry honestly helped me come out. Having someone like Zack, being so open and proud of himself, made me realize that I could also do that and that it was okay. My family doesn’t know because my mom is extremely homophobic, which makes the process really hard. It was kind of a fear thing, and it wasn’t even a choice: I had to be straight. But then, there’s so much community that goes into poetry that I realized it doesn’t really matter. If my family doesn’t want anything to do with me for something I can’t control, it’s okay because I have another family that I can go to. So obviously it helped a lot with that. It helps me deal with homophobia a lot too. It can be a really difficult thing, but you find out that a lot of other poets have experienced the same things, and writing about them and hearing about them is very therapeutic. Where do you see yourself in the future? Is poetry what you will be pursuing? Yeah, I want to get my bachelors in creative writing/poetry and hopefully get my master’s in fine arts/poetry. The end goal is to be a poetry professor, but on the way, there is a path that a lot of poets follow. I want to get a book out there, maybe a book tour. I want to do a lot for the community in the process, because there are so many organizations out there. I’m applying to places in the East and the West, so I will be far away from here which will be great. Doing things in those areas will be very beneficial.

“Being able to put my experiences into words for other people to understand them, and to be able to look back and reflect on them is really helpful.” 69

What advice would you give to someone who is wanting to start writing but may feel hesitant? The big thing is that writing is uncomfortable, and that’s why it’s necessary. When you’re writing, you’re reliving everything you are writing. The process is all your mind, and it’s about where your mind goes. A lot of the time that can be really uncomfortable, and it can be really painful. In the end, the product you come out with is so healing and therapeutic, and having that is really nice to hold onto. And it can be bad. My first poem was so bad. The one I did at the Marquette slam - it’s embarrassing, and that’s okay, because it’s the process. At the moment I felt good, and that’s good- to like your stuff even if it’s not the best because it only has to be good enough for yourself. That’s the only thing that matters-- if it’s good enough for you.

“The big thing is that writing is uncomfor table, and that’s why it’s neccessary.” 70

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jabari a d r i a n

wimbley g o m e z

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â€œThe name Respire came from the notion that art and fashion constitute the air that we breathe. If this is the case, the creatives around you act as the lungs, feeding life-giving oxygen to your pounding heart.â€?

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