PARTY TIME
What you seethe is what you get My boyfriend of a year used to fly into rages. He and his ex had huge, ugly screaming fights. He now uses “mental tricks” to stay calmer. Obviously, rage is a bad thing, but it’s also a passionate thing. Is it crazy to worry that he doesn’t care enough about me to get really angry? When the cops come to the door, it usually isn’t to say, “Your neighbors called and said they heard you loving each other really loudly.” Rage isn’t a sign of love—it’s a sign of bad emotion management. Research by doctor and behavioral neuroscientist Emil Coccaro finds that people who are prone to angry outbursts—responding to every slight like somebody just nuked Rhode Island—have exaggerated activity in part of the brain called the amygdala. This is a set of lima beansized structures that basically work as a security guard, identifying threats or potential threats. As neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux explains it, the amygdala makes a “quick and dirty” assessment that danger is afoot—before rational thought can get involved—and releases chemical messengers to get us to leap into action, as in, “DO SOMETHING BEFORE YOU DIE!” But because the amygdala is an evolutionarily ancient structure—one we share with sheep and hamsters—it’s not all that discerning. In fact, it makes a lot of mistakes. That’s because our chances of survival are better if we jump out of our skin at a rustling in the leaves that turns out to be nothing—rather than being all, “Yeah, that could be a deadly poisonous snake, but I’m not letting it get in the way of a good bong hit.” Still, socially, a hypersensitive amygdala can pose problems—like our going all Kill Bill on somebody’s ass when they, oh, graze our arm reaching for a coffee lid. Chances are that what your boyfriend has learned to do through these “mental tricks” is redirect his attention from the amygdala to the newer, thinkier “frontal” parts of the brain. Yes, your brain is about as easily fooled as Aida, my 6-pound Chinese crested. The vet holds out a treat in one hand so Aida won’t get hopped up about the other—which is en route to her butt with the same size thermometer they use on the Great Dane. Your boyfriend’s newfound cool is a sign—showing that he gets that rage is to problem-solving as a chainsaw is to hangnail eradication. Of course, many people realize that they’re doing something totally counterproductive— and remain all pedal to the metal down Stupid Avenue
Cinco de Mayo Festival The 17th annual local celebration of Mexican heritage will feature live music, dance performances, amateur boxing matches, Mexican dancing horses, carnival rides and more this weekend ahead of the actual date of Cinco de Mayo. The event will be held in the southeast parking lot of the Grand Sierra Resort, 2500 E. Second St. Gates will be open with no admission on Friday, April 29, from 3 p.m. to 10 p.m., for access to the carnival. The main fiesta takes place from noon to 8 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday, April 30-May 1. Headliners Los Horoscopes de Durango will perform on Saturday. Tiranos del Norte and Nuevos Cadetes will play on Sunday. Festival admission is $5. Call 856-4888 or visit www.cincodemayoreno.com.
—Kelley Lang
ink and fiber which are then fused by heat. The work explores the process of rendering nature in an abstract form which then enables the viewer to contemplate the pleasure of color, pattern and texture thus freeing oneself from objective context. 5/2-6/17. Free. 925 Riverside Drive, (775) 334-2417.
METRO GALLERY AT RENO CITY HALL: Not Your Mother’s Garden—Explorations and Meditations. Patti Christensen-Woodard’s exhibition is a series of pastel paintings that extend beyond pure botanical accuracy. Through 6/3. Free. 1 E. First St., (775) 334-2417.
RENO ART WORKS: Yesterdays News. Reno Art Works features the artist J.Charboneau. Gallery hours: WednesdayFriday, 1pm-5pm. Saturday, noon-5pm. W-Sa through 5/1; Teething Veils Music & Gallery Reception. RAW kicks off May with a special musical performance from Washington D.C. band Teething Veils, who are on tour promoting their latest CD release, Dinner Date 7. This event is also the closing reception for the April gallery show at RAW, Yesterdays News, featuring artwork by the artist J.Charboneau. Su, 5/1, 6-8pm. Free. Gallery hours are noon7pm M-Sa. 1995 Dickerson Road, (775) 225-7295.
SHEPPARD CONTEMPORARY GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Jack Pierson. Pierson’s
OPINION
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FEATURE STORY
photographs explore the emotional undercurrents of everyday life from the intimacy of romantic attachment to the distant idolization of others. Informed in part by his artistic emergence in the era of AIDS, Pierson’s work is moored by melancholy and introspection, yet his images are often buoyed by a celebratory aura of seduction and glamour. Tu-Sa, noon-4pm through 7/1. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658.
WINNEMUCCA CONVENTION CENTER: Shooting the West. The 28th annual photo symposium showcases images of the West with speakers, workshops, field trips, exhibits, contests and vendor booths. M-Su through 5/1. Varies. 50 W. Winnemucca Blvd., Winnemucca, (775) 623-5071.
Call for Artists CALL TO TEEN ARTISTS: NEW BEGINNINGS: The Holland Project Micro Gallery is seeking art submissions to be included in a group exhibition that showcases local teen artists. The exhibition will run May 23–June 17 with an opening reception on Saturday, May 28, from 5:30-7:30pm. Visit website for details. M-Su through 5/13. Free. Holland Project Micro Gallery at Bibo Coffee Co., 945 Record St., (775) 742-1858, www.hollandreno.org/2016/03/ new-beginnings-call.
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ART OF THE STATE
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instead of investing the effort your boyfriend did (and does) to respond differently. As for the notion that his not blowing his top means he doesn’t care about you … right. Nothing says you’ve got the lukewarmies for somebody like treating them with love, patience and respect instead of giving in to your initial impulse to stab them in the neck with a fork.
Free (scared) willy I’m a woman with a high sex drive. My boyfriend and I live a long plane ride apart. Months can go by between visits. On our first day together, he typically has erectile dysfunction. The next day, everything’s good. However, it’s hard to not take the first day personally. After we’re apart for a while, shouldn’t he be raring to go? A classic car that’s been garaged for the winter can also be hard to start, but that probably isn’t a sign that you need to lose a few pounds and sex up the undies. Luckily for the car, it just needs a battery jump, not reassurance from the tow truck driver: “You’ve still got it, Impala!” For a man, however, first-day-back jitters can easily turn Mr. Happy into Mr. I Dunno What Happened. This occurs because emotions aren’t just feeling-flavored thoughts—they have physiological underpinnings. Anxiety is a cousin of fear. The same area in the brain—the amygdala—sounds the alarm, chemically messaging your body to prepare it to fight or flee. Your body, in turn, shuts down processes not required for that, like digestion, and diverts blood flow where it’s needed most—to your heart and the large muscles (in your arms and legs) that you’d use to hit back or run. (Sadly, the “third leg” does not count as an actual leg.) The thing is, if your boyfriend doesn’t feel pressured to put on a big show, the show might just happen. On your first day together, tell him that you just want to cuddle and reconnect—and act like you mean it. Your overriding goal should be making him feel comfortable—though not the way an ER nurse would, by cutting off his jeans while he’s asleep with a big pair of surgical scissors. Ω
THIS WEEK
Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica,CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).
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APRIL 28, 2016
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