Olivia Williams
The Gates open wide spread & squeak made of black iron & something even more melancholy screams & moans of death release My momma told me that the gates would move for me, that heavenly light would appear that I am the goodest girl she ever had seen surely I would be witness to the baby blue sky I would see the angels their beautiful wings I would hear the most glorious singing & be clothed in white with a ring of light, I would be given my own pair of wings & I’d learn to fly with the prophets my family the pets I’d lost along the way I shouldn’t blame my momma for what she didn’t know how would she have known? I never told her so she just assumed I still loved god and he me see I didn’t tell her and that was the real death of me I didn’t tell her about how when she wasn’t looking, my skin would shimmer in the rays of the sun I didn’t tell her that the color of the rainbow stained my heart & the feelings I have for My Love made it all worth it all of the secrets & silent suffering I endured she made it all worth it momma I am still in love & I always will be I’m sorry momma you didn’t know I wouldn’t be joinin you & daddy in that big blue sky you didn’t know that you were all damning me my whole life & that really isn’t your fault I didn’t tell ya what ya shoulda seen & shoulda known. the signs were there maybe, you just chose not to see when you look at a person
like me. “The Gates” is the journey I have experienced on the road to love and self-acceptance. This is one of the hardest and most taxing writings I have done—a beautiful, creative, and healing experience. The narrator goes from a place of feeling pressured and conformed to a realization that they only need to be accepted by themselves. This is a love poem that focuses on self-love, acceptance, and being true to oneself.
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Etchings
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