BY COLLEEN DE WINTON
(SE
ALE
D S ECT ION )
THE HIDDEN FACE OF LOVE
PAR
T V I
Simply, “to love one another�. To truly love one another what must we choose from moment to moment? What state of awareness, of remembrance is required to bring us into alignment with the depth of truth within our heart? The hidden face of love is held within the deep mystery of the feminine. She sits quietly, awaiting the knowledge of the divine masculine to free her from the limited awareness of the human illusion of separation. She is divine wisdom, Inana, the holy origin of creation, powerful in her receptive nature she longs for the truth of spirit to enter her internal endless spaciousness and fill her with divine purpose. She does not sleep, for her desire to extend love is boundless and can never be satiated. For love is the eternal dance of God and she a willing partner, giving birth to a new and ever changing reality that only serves to awaken the sleeping giant of potentiality within the great void of consciousness. Her body of soft flesh harbours a mystery that has inspired and tortured seekers of truth since the very beginingness of time and space. In her own passionate search for expression she has travelled down path after path, led by those that believe they are wise, only to find that her soft folds have been hardened by the harsh penetration of ignorant force. The surface lust of those that wish to conquer her, those that believe that through her demise they shall own the power she wields. Numbed by desolate pain she slowly withdraws, hiding behind a wall of tidily stacked bricks of protection. She seeks the dark places that blanket the sound of her own tears. For those that are willing to see she sends messages of her existence, a bright yellow blossom under the last stirrings of snow, the newborn lamb bracing itself against the cold, a mother holding a child to her breast giving life, giving comfort. So many signs yet so many are blind to her wisdom. We are created through the very act of love, born from her body, together we journey into the world of experience, alone, we die.
Way of the Heart
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Revealing her beauty...‌ Recently I have been experiencing a deep relaxation into love. It has happened through many ways, and yet my conscious awareness of this relaxation has began to appear through the practise of conscious relationship and the art of not doing while making love with my beautiful partner John. We explored the natural wisdom of our bodies, allowing the pulse of energy to guide us, no forcing or doing, no imagination or expectation, no goal or outcome, just the simple practise of breath and patience. We have been gently encouraged by some deep inner wisdom to move from habit to uncertainty, from control to vulnerability, from expectation to surrender. We are discovering many of the subconscious places that we have created within ourselves to hide from love. In this discovery we are expanding into an intensity of presence that unlocks the floodgates of grief and joy in the remembrance of the deep capacity we have to be love, and the many times we have habitually chosen to ignore the truth of our deepest desire, to share our loving presence in holy unity. As a woman, I am learning what it means to fully receive another; to be so open and vulnerable that I become an ocean of energy that can embrace and transform, create and expand into worlds within worlds. Yet what is most profound in this relaxation, is the powerful recognition that as woman, I embody love. From this awareness the desire for union is birthed and two, truly become one. I do not disappear, but expand to encompass the universal truth of potential in presence.
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As John and I journey together into a deeply fulfilling connection, our capacity to be sensitive, aware and diligent is increasing, thus our ability to remain present with each other in our everyday life is blossoming. This is not an easy road, however, the rewards are so bountiful. The practice of conscious relating requires a very different perception of every aspect of makinglove and the sacred art of relating. I have learnt to re-discover and re-sensitise my body, to become an ecstatic orgasmic woman through opening
to receive pleasure, learning exactly what my body desires and communicating this to my partner with clarity and love. I see how this body awareness has been a preparation for the continuing opening and deepening understanding of my purpose here. For me this was a very necessary stage in my spiritual development. I experienced many profound and deeply spiritual experiences; and through these experiences, I did at times think that I had reached a peak of the journey. I was very much mistaken. I had only just begun. The addiction to pleasure and bodily sensation crept in quietly. I discovered that my mind would already be planning the pleasure it knew my body would feel well before it would begin. I thought that this was wonderful and yet my deeper knowing was beginning to show herself in subtle ways. Perhaps a feeling of loss or tiredness would follow the ecstatic experience or I may have emotions welling up that I did not have any idea about their origin. I began to suspect the call of the feminine was rising up in a new and rather challenging way. Did I really have to let go of this wonderful pleasure? My partner also felt unsure about the movement away from our normal pattern of lovemaking, after all, we were having a passionate and delightful time together. The desire to understand this unusual awareness that was birthing became very strong, and we began to find some very powerful material to validate our new desire and experience. We experimented with some simple yet powerful support activities, like relaxing and letting our body’s wisdom lead the way. It was very important that we communicated what was happening for us as often as possible. Another very helpful aspect of this new discovery, was to let go of any goal or outcome, surrendering any ideas about climax, ejaculation, even simple pleasurable experience. Our only focus was to stay present within our own body and experience. Through this we became aware of how often we habitually used our old experience to create the present experience..
It became obvious that this was very limiting. Our new awareness calls us to not engage our imagination or build our bodies excitement level by stimulating our genitals. We held each other in soft embrace, gently breathing and waited to feel the pulse of life. To not force or move energy. This may sound rather simple, but the habits of mind developed in past encounters of sexual intimacy, and our past cultural conditioning created a rather large obstacle – us! The discovery that patience, stillness, breath, communication and gentle humour offered very strong support and basis for this new experience. Our minds would often try to break into the spaciousness and distract us; sometimes resulted in physical excitement and subtle tension in the body; or our attention moved into what was happening for the other and were they being satisfied; or perhaps into the past or future and sometimes out of the room altogether. We found that if our focus stayed with our internal experience and we communicated this we could remain in the present moment and be available to the natural flow of energy and deep connective love that arose betwee us. From this basis, the most incredibly fulfilling and loving journey has erupted, and it is like an eruption of embodied spiritual love that can transform any difficulty. And not only that, it expands to enfold others and has the most profound effect. Our mutual desire in sharing this small, but tasty morsel, is to offer those that feel her whispering within, an opportunity and heart felt encouragement, to be brave explorers in the realm of relationship, to go where none have gone before and free her from her waiting. She will only gift you with truth, possibility and an extraordinary life. Could yours be the heart that births her wonder? Here are some simple tools that continue to be very helpful and supportive for us on our journey, we are sure you will discover many of your own and we hope that what we offer here will support you.
What is her secret wisdom? A yearning for love, a love that embraces all and denies nothing, a love that only supports the growth and diversity of all peoples, a love that brings forth joyful surrender and compassionate openness, an innocent delight in the creation of life... I have felt the seed of this love buried deep within, buried under the call of yearning that drives me always towards truth. I have projected the idea of love onto my parents, my lovers, my son, society and God. I am always left empty handed and hollow hearted. All of these experiences, these gifts from my soul self, have shown me in great detail what it is that I don’t want, what a valuable journey. In truly seeing what I don’t want the opportunity to create what I most desire is ever present. Life brings the awareness of this through my emotions and I
Deepest Truth: Co-creating a now experience Spend time every day sharing what is arising for you in the moment. We find that first thing in the morning is a very good way to align our energy together, it is also a time of less defence in the mind. For the speaking partner, focus on what is occurring within you and be as clear as you can. Bring in the phrase “and my deepest truth is” as often as you can, remembering to breath deeply and take your time. As each partner shares it is the sole responsibility of the listening partner to hold the space and not talk or interrupt. The listener is also encouraged not to indicate by nodding your head or other actions that you agree or disagree. Simply be as present
as possible and when the speaker is finished they say “I am complete” and the listener says thank you. Then you change over and repeat this cycle. When both parties are complete you may wish to clarify what you have heard but try not to get into too much discussion about it, unless it is to grow together in your mutual understanding. As you commit to this daily practise, your ability to recognise and express what you are feeling will greatly improve, your body awareness and sensitivity to each other will be deeply enhanced, and your courage to be honest will guide you to profound self-understanding and deep abiding trust. Way of the Heart
constantly feel the press of remembrance, the remembrance of the truth of me and what I am. Yet the words to speak this desire are so often held captive upon my tongue and never pass my lips. Like a small child I withdraw into myself and never divulge the embodied truth of who I am and that I know is love. Until now. Every experience whether seen as positive or negative, brings me further into the realisation that the “I AM”, Inana, is fully born from love, and if I so choose I can be the embodiment of this love always. Yes, I forget often and the joy of remembering is gifted to me over and over again. The “I AM” that is me, that is divinity, that is totally unique and always here. My passion is to discover how I am able to experience and live the joy of this uniqueness in every moment? To be a constant unfolding of curiosity and wonder. Through the eyes of love I experience all others including myself as an elaborate adventure filled with delight and challenges to explore and discover.
Simple Presence: Opening your senses to love We recommend this practise be done as often as possible. Lay or sit facing each other with just a small gap between you. Begin to breath slowly and deeply while keeping soft eye contact with each other. Notice what feelings, sensations and random thoughts arise, then with single words or simple phrases express this as often as you can. Keep it short and try to just say one word when you can. Be gentle and allow a little humour sometimes if you feel this is too strong to begin with. Start with just a few minutes and then build it to 5 then 10 minutes. This practise will also develop your body awareness, an essential quality in conscious relating, and can be a wonderful way to connect before you make love. However, don’t limit it to this, try it in other times, it can be very helpful if you are feeling stressed, hurt or out of harmony with each other.
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Awakening the feminine power centre: When I see a mother breast-feeding her child my heart opens instantly to the wonder of life and the depth of love that radiates from both mother and child. A woman’s breasts are so captivating, so enticing is it any wonder men are so eager to see, feel and touch these wondrous mounds of soft sensitive flesh. The breasts hold a key to a woman’s capacity to embody and extend powerful love. They also allow her to open to the deep penetration of the masculine energy. Often in lovemaking the breasts are ignored or the nipples are the focal point of interest. It is time to broaden this to encompass the fullness of each breast and the surrounding area.
Question Corner:
Create a loving and comfortable space, lay your partner on her back and gently place your hand on her heart, look into each others eyes for a few minutes and connect with the love you share. Men, be very conscious of your attention being
fully within your own body, really feel your hand, the pulse of your heart and your presence. It is important for the woman to relax and breath slowly and deeply. Men, begin to gently and slowly massage the breasts, use a light oil if you like. Feel the fullness and aliveness in the movements and ask your partner what she most likes and what does not work so well for her. Let her be your guide. The emphasis is not to build sexual excitement, but to relax and open to the heart centres natural flow of energy as it begins to move through the body. As tempting as it may be to play with the nipples, leave these for a bit later in the massage. Move from gentle holding and massaging to a more firm movement, always being aware of what is good for your partner, and back to gentle, even light as feather touches. Make sure you involve the whole breast and chest area,
These questions are designed to bring attention to your hearts deepest desire in relating. As you read them allow the breath to deepen and give yourself time to feel the truth of your heart. Bear witness to your partner’s answers with compassion and support. Be gentle with each other. If you are not currently in relationship these questions may be helpful in preparing and enriching the ground in readiness for your new relationship. You may wish to also share these questions with a friend to help clarify what you really desire. Take a few minutes to breath and you may wish to place one hand on your heart and the other on your genitals and gently open to your own natural pulse.
• Am I willing to let go of the habit of doing during lovemaking? • Am I willing to trust my body’s innate wisdom? • Am I willing to choose presence in the moment and not let my imagination take over? • Am I willing to be guided by my partner’s requests in lovemaking? • Am I willing to surrender the goal of climax and ejaculation? • Am I willing to participate in conscious love making often wether I think I feel like it or not? • Am I willing to set aside quality time on a regular basis to explore conscious relating? • Am I willing to share my deepest vulnerability with my partner?
also moving down to the solar plexus and up to the neck area. Keep asking your partner to communicate what feels good to her and allow a minimum of 20mins for this practise. Women, be aware of the sensations that arise and keep relaxing into your heart centre, don’t be surprised if deep emotion unfolds and you may experience your body moving in a very different way. If you notice tension in your body breathe into the area and relax as much as you can. Men, this is not foreplay, it is for her. She may desire to enter into lovemaking, but this is not the goal. As her heart centre opens a natural flow of loving and vital energy moves through her body. Allow the body’s natural wisdom to unfold in the moment. Spend time afterwards to share your experiences. It may take some time to unlock this power centre as women have to learn to protect themselves, so we encourage you to be patient.
• Am I willing to experience myself as a sexual novice? • Am I willing to abide in stillness with my partner sensing the pulsation of life energy? One final point, remember this is not a technique, not a doing, there is nothing to “get right”, it is a beingness in love that will grow with attention and presence. Your inner being will guide you, your heart will instruct you, your body will delight you and true love will show her face once more. We are happy to share with you so if you wish to please email us at the address below. ❂
Colleen de Winton 54
Colleen de Winton is passionate in her service to the fundamental principless of tr truth. th She has developed a unique ability in bringing forth radical inquiry to enable deep long lasting transformation, Colleen is not afraid to ask the hard questions. She combines her talent in Radical Inquiry with her knowledge of breath and creates a compassionate and powerful model for awakening. Her study of the Aramaic language and teachings of Jeshua has had a profound affect and guided her to create beautiful Aramaic chants that reintroduce the art of Sacred Chant to the practice of awakening. For more information contact colleendewinton@yahoo.com.au or visit www.sacredchants.com.au