Glass Issue 14: Crumble - 2022

Issue 14 07-2022

CRUMBLE

QUTGLASS.COM

FREE

ILLUSTRATED BY BEN STEELE

1

THE GLASS EDITORS

Glass Media is the QUT student newspaper and

TOM LOUDON

magazine, funded by the QUT Student Guild. Glass

CIARAN GREIG

is a space to showcase the work of QUT students,

ELLA BRUMM

graduates, and staff – including creative work, news, and reporting.

You can get involved with Glass by checking out qutglass.com, and following our Instagram or Facebook @qutglass. You can also subscribe to our mailing list by following the prompts on our website. We can’t wait to hear from you!

FOLLOW US @QUTGLASS

Opinion

Songbird Lisa.......................................................... 72

Lawfully Unpaid: Teaching Placements in a Time of Crisis...................................................18

Fun

The Art of Being Graceful...................................39

Tweet Fill In............................................................... 3 Wordsearch & Crossword Puzzle...................... 4

Your Favourite Movies are Made by Bad People...............................................................56

Coffee Map................................................................ 6

Labor's Transphobia Problem..........................58

Where to Steal Cuttings on Campus.............. 76

In Defence of Sun Yang........................................60

Horoscopes............................................................. 79

Where Are All the Moonwomen?..................... 22 When Life Gives You Bananas........................... 24

Reviews Book: Henry Hamlet's Heart is a Mosaic of Obviousness ...........................................................49 Art: Botanica 2022..................................................51 Film: Drive My Car................................................ 52

COVID-19 in Queensland don’t exactly make for happy reading. It’s

As the World Watches Ukraine, West Papua Struggles for Self-Determination...................29

Blinding Love..........................................................64

easy to crumble when that’s all we see.

The New Financial Year: At a Glance..............30

When you’re down, struggling, or downright crumbling apart, don’t forget to look at yourself with the same grace and benefit of the doubt you so readily offer others in your life.

Normally we only publish one issue a semester, but luckily for you we have two more in store! Glass has opened submissions for our second

Glass Media and the QUT Student Guild acknowledge

Glass Fiction Week, showcasing the work of creative writers at QUT

the Turrbal and Jagera peoples as the First Nations

on our website. For the first time ever, this will include a limited print

owners of the lands where QUT now stands. We pay

edition of QUT’s best fiction. As in 2021, we will also publish the Glass

of teaching, research, learning, and storytelling.

Paloma....................................................................... 45

Fiction

to remind us that crumbling is as much a part of life as rebuilding.

recognise that these lands have always been places

Picking Up the Crumbs.......................................43

The Crumbling Legitimacy of Queensland's Consent Laws......................................................... 27

But we have included as much good news as possible within Crumble,

their lores, customs, and creation spirits. We

Hard to Swallow..................................................... 42

A Glassie's Guide to Heartbreak......................20

of Roe v. Wade in the United States, and the resurgence of

respect to their Elders, past, present, and emerging,

One Thousand Pieces..........................................38 Summers on the Floor.........................................38

Dear Glassies,

for better and for worse.

Poetry

Cooking a Crumble with Tiana Bryce.............16

Non-Fiction

The devastating news coming out of Ukraine daily, the overturning

Acknowledgement of Country

Memoir

Editors’ Letter Since we published our last issue, the world has been a busy place –

QUTGLASS.COM

Contents

What is Glass?

Rethinking Pelvic Pain.........................................33 sex but offline.........................................................34

In Living Memory...................................................12 Christmas Casual .................................................66 december, dinner..................................................69 Judged........................................................................ 71

When Opposites Attract.....................................36

Explainer

Greenslide................................................................54

What Does Cheating Say about You As a Person? .............................................................14 New Students will Lose HECS if They Fail 50% of their Classes .............................................15

Annual this December, showcasing the Editors’ favourite work of the year. Keep your eyes peeled on our socials for more details.

If you’re new to Glass, or want to get involved, check out the QUT

Tweet Fill In

Glass Media and the QUT Guild acknowledge the

Writers and Glassies groups on Facebook to hear about what’s new

Oh no!

important role Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander

and what’s upcoming. If you’re interested in reviewing with Glass,

The Democrats have moved further to the left AGAIN, and Elon Musk might get cancelled! Can YOU match the words below with the correct tweets to save Elon's freedom of speech?

peoples play within the Meanjin community.

Cultural Warning

you can now complete our Reviewer EOI, which can be found in these groups or on our website.

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are

Crumble is our first edition printed completely on recycled paper, and

warned that the following magazine may contain

we want to remind readers that our magazine is recyclable. If you don’t

references to deceased persons.

Disclaimer Glass Media informs readers that the views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this issue of Glass belong solely to the author, and do not necessarily express the views of Glass Media or the QUT Guild.

want to keep your copy or want to declutter, return it to one of our magazine stands, or to the Student Guild offices, so it may be enjoyed

Tesla

by another reader.

Cave

As always, with love,

Nuke

The Glass Team.

3

Word Search

Crossword Puzzle

Name:

Complete the crossword puzzle below 1

U P L

L V A G B X B O N W E I V E R

G F E X A D M T P C G C Z J S Q Q

S C X E X V A S G W Z V P L M W M

C R B F Z X O A U P A P T S E W V

Z A R N B A S E V B Z D E C T U Y

R O I F X B I E B R N Y E O V E C

N R L F K H C N O O Y E T X G I J

A I P Y E G I A F A S H I O N W S

P E P M S N P B D T C M T X I C G

P G C E K I Y L I U E H I S K P D

L R O T I M P A T T T L O V A Y I

E E N E G M C T P S I W N W B G M

C E S G I I E N M A E O N Q B Q L

R N E M O W N O O M I F N I A O T

U S N D X S T Z Z Y H J N G B S T

M L T P C L U F E C A R G B Z Z Z

ALBANESE

EXHIBITION

MOSAIC

APPLE CRUMBLE

FASHION

PELVIS

BAKING

GRACEFUL

PETITION

BANANA

GREENSLIDE

REVIEW

CONSENT

MOONWOMEN

SWIMMING WESTPAPUA

B I O J J X S T A J U L J W M K T

L D P N S S V B Q Q L L W Z F P U

E E B A N A N A T R K J B Y A B N

b

o

r

2

i

s

j

o

h

n

s

v

o

c

a

c

y

l

a

n

d

o

n

n 3

a

d e p

4

i

r

e

5

n 7

d e 8

9

n

o

p

c

a

t

p

u

u

a

r

n

n

e

w

g

6

r

w

o

a

m

g

u

i

n

e

e

e

n

s

h

t

h

a

a

c

e

n

e

s

t i

10s

c

r

a

t

11h

l

o

n

m

uName: s

Complete the crossword puzzle below a b

o

r

2

i

s

j

v

o

r

t

i

12e

1

c

o

h

n

s

c

a

c

y

o

k

m n

n 3

a

Across

d

d

Created using the Crossword Maker on TheTeachersCorner.net

e

Across 1. Recently resigned as UK Prime Minister.

Down

p

1. Recently resigned as UK Prime4 Minister.

2. West Papua has struggled for decades for 3. When you get in trouble at uni, contact i r ________. e l a n d (borisjohnson) ____________ . (independence) 4. Thisyou men's team just firstnever series in New Zealand.

5g 6r e door e nthank s yew. (romanticism) 3. When getrugby in trouble at won uni, their contact 6. Leave it at the 5. The Party.with the highest swing towardsdthem in Queensland. ___________ (advocacy) 7.

Recently 7w orose by 5.2%. (wages) 4. This men's rugby teamwho justjust won their first ever 11. Defendant in a high profile defamation case.

8. Australia's neighbour, had a general election. e a m series in New Zealand. (ireland) (heard) 9. This exhibition will run Government House, Gardens Point until September.

8 p ataOld 5. The Party with the highest swing p utowards a n them e w in g u i n e a 10. Another(greens) QUT student publication.

Queensland. c e n 8. Australia's neighbour, who just had a general 12. This man is being sued

by Twitter.

9n o c t u r n e s t election. (papuanewguinea) 9. This exhibition will run at Old Government House, i Down Gardens Point, until September. (nocturne) 10 s c r a t c h t h a t 2. West Papua has struggled for decades for ____________.

10. Another QUT student publication. (scratchthat) 11h 6.

Leave it at the door thank yew. i 12. This man is being sued by Twitter. (elonmusk) 7. Recently rose by 5.2%

12e

11. Defendant in a high profile defamation case.

l

o

n

a

m

u

s

k

m

r Answers: 1. borisjohnson 2. independence 3. advocacy 4. ireland 5. greens 6. romanticism 7. wages 8. papuanewguinea 9. nocturne 10. sratchthat 11. heard 12. elonmusk

d

4

Created using the Crossword Maker on TheTeachersCorner.net

Across 1. Recently resigned as UK Prime Minister.

Down 2. West Papua has struggled for decades for

FUN

5

D

A W

Coffee Map

B Stalkerspace Choice

Glass polled over 500 QUT students to find the best coffee on campus. We have also included recommendations from the cafes on this list.

CAMPUS SHUTTLE

Gather Cafe Brewed & Bar Awakening

T F

Danny Boys

X MAIN DRIVE

B

A

QUT ART MUSEUM

U

KIDNEY LAWN

KENNEDY WAY

D

T

F

G NORMAN WAY

J W

V

A H

LAMINGTON DRIVE

S

G

O

Q

D

E

G

LADY BOWEN LAWN

H

NORMAN WAY

C M W

Humanity Coffee Container

J

R

O

QPOP Tea

Q

S

Z

S

C

The Bagel Boys - Bacon and egg and coffee deal

Merlo’s Coffee - Breakfast panini / mushroom

Lady Harriet’s - Almond croissant and

panini for our fellow vegetarians

calamari salad

Humanity Coffee Container - Soy iced

Raw Press - Vegan dark choc chip cookie

QUT Bookshop Cafe - Peri peri chicken roll

Y U

QUTGREY ARTGUMS PARK MUSEUM

KUNDU PARK

V

Chi Cafe

Y

K

Z5

The Boys House Laboite

X

Z2 Z3

Chi Cafe

VILLAGE CENTRE

Q

Earth & Steam

MiuCoCozy Tea Cafe Z9

Z1

QUT Depot/ Bookshop Cafe

Z12

U

Z2

Z10 Z3

Laboite Espresso Bar Z6 Z5

CoCozy Cafe

Z2 Z3

P

Z13

Z1

Z

Z4

U

Earth & Steam

Laboite Espresso Bar

Z11

Z Z4

Z13

Z1

Earth & Steam Z6

Z9 Z12 Z11 Z10

Z5 Z9

Z Z4

Z6 Z5

Kelvin Grove THE KINDLER THEATRE

O

The Bagel Boys

Brewed Awakening - Flat white The Menagerie - Vegan hot choccy with real chocolate flakes on top, banana bread (vegan)

Z

Cafe Miu Tea Z13 Artease

Z6

of Coffee Chi Cafe QBar Espresso

The Garden’s U Club

CoCozy Cafe Sago

Z

KUNDU PARK

Sago

Z9

The Boys TheHouse of Coffee Menagerie

Z4

GREY GUMS PARK

LADY BOWEN LAWN

Humanity Coffee Container The

X

Cafe Artease Z10

VILLAGE CENTRE

Z1

Z3

Z12 Z11

THE CUBE

Bagel Boys

M

Q

Danny Boys

The GREY GUMS PARK Pantry

THE CUBE

THE KINDLER THEATRE

K

Laboite

U

Z13

The Menagerie Earth & Steam

Mean Espresso Bar Cafe Beanz KUNDU Artease Z2 PARK

Mean Beanz Miu Tea

EAST LAWN

OLD GOV HOUSE

P

CAMPUS VILLAGE

SHUTTLE CoCozy CENTRE Cafe Boys Danny

X

Lady The Garden’s Harriet’s KIDNEY LAWN Club

QUT Depot/ Bookshop Cafe

LIBRARY

Menagerie Awakening

F C

EAST LAWN

DBrewed The

C House TheBrewed Boys of Coffee Awakening

LAMINGTON DRIVE

The Pantry - Halloumi baguette

caramel latte

Lady Harriet’s

X

Sago

The The Merlo’s Coffee Bagel BoysPantry

T

V LIBRARY F

LAMINGTON DRIVE

Gardens Point

KIDNEY LAWN

XK

QUT Depot/ Bookshop Cafe

OLD GOV THE KINDLER THEATRE HOUSE

Merlo’s Coffee

Z R

Danny Boys

KENNEDY WAY

QPOP Tea

W

B P

QUT ART MUSEUM

H

NORMAN WAY

THE CUBE

LADY BOWEN LAWN

E

TM

J

MAIN DRIVE

A U

B Humanity Coffee Container

Q F

R

Raw The Press Pantry

KENNEDY WAY

QPOP Tea

C

MAIN DRIVE

LIBRARY

D

Y

CAMPUS

Miu Tea SHUTTLE

FQ

GREY GUMS PARK

The Garden’s Club

EAST LAWN

OLD GOV HOUSE

Raw Merlo’s Press Coffee

E

Lady Harriet’s

F

W A

Chi Cafe Mean Beanz W

VILLAGE CENTRE

The Boys Cafe House Gather of&Coffee Bar

CAMPUS SHUTTLE

BrewedK Awakening Sago

Cafe Artease

D

A

KUNDU PARK

T

XB

W

Raw Press

B

D

A

C

Editors' Choice

Mean Beanz

Gather TheCafe & Bar Menagerie

T

La Boite Espresso Bar - Student deals: $4 Medium hot or iced drinks / $8 coffee and toastie Miu Tea - Brulee milk tea with pearls, lychee mixed tea Chi Cafe - Vietnamese ice coffee, bacon and egg roll

C

Gather Cafe & Bar - Southern fried chicken burger, breakfast muffin Mean Beanz - Biscoff Latte (50c off coffee for students who show ID card, skip app available)

Sago - Beef Noodle Soup Danny Boys - Half Brick Sandwich, Beef Brisket Sandwich

Earth & Steam - Gluten-free chocolate brownie Coco Cozy - Cozy Breakfast The Boys House of Coffee - Cheesecake

Garden's Club Cafe - Toasties including vegan seasonal vegetable toastie QPOP Tea - Feast of Peach Fruit Tea Slush

6

COFFEE MAP

7

QUT ART GALLERY

QUT JOURNALISM NETWORK

Exhibitions: What’s on at the QUT Art Gallery

Welcome to the QUT Journalism Network

OPEN NOW

Ever had this happen to you?

Ken + Julia Yonetani: To Be Human

You’re talking to a stranger – where you’re from, where

QUT Art Museum, Gardens Point

you’re working, the shows you’re watching. The usual stuff.

until 23 October 2022

Then the conversation turns, and you know what’s coming.

An awe-inspiring survey of Australian-Japanese

Stranger: So, what do you study?

artist duo, Ken + Julia Yonetani who question what it is to be human and our place in the

You: Oh, I’m doing journalism –

interconnected ecologies of plant and animal life.

Stranger: Yikes! That's brave, studying for a job in a dying

William Robinson: Nocturne

industry.

William Robinson Gallery,

Well, don’t stress, journalism isn’t actually dying! Instead, it's changing like any other industry does to keep up with the times, and we journalism students just have to stick together and help each other through those changes.

That’s what we are here to do!

We are the QUT Journalism Network, and we are here to connect journalism-minded students to each other and to the industry. We want to foster a community here at QUT for those interested in journalism and create opportunities for us all to get to know each other.

So, what can we do for you? QUTJN hosts various events each semester, from professional and networking events to social events to get to know your future colleagues.

Old Government House, Gardens Point

value of professional relationships. In Semester 1 this year,

Take a walk on the dark side in Nocturne, an

we hosted a 'How to Get a Job in Broadcast' night with

exhibition of award-winning landscape artist,

highly esteemed voice coach, Sally Prosser. Attendees

William Robinson, and discover his fascination

were treated to an hour-long session with Sally where

with the night sky and twilight hours.

they learned everything needed to succeed in a career in broadcast, from confidence to professionalism and even we’re all about here at QUTJN, so our members put all

in the industry. There will be another mixer for all our new

rest of the Network, no journalism jargon needed!

members – we promise it’s unlike any pub crawl you’ve

events with the Journalism and Communication Society over at UQ, which are great opportunities to make friends (and importantly, prove once and for all which uni is superior).

A bespoke Sustainability Week fair including

to collaborate with JACS to put together a star-studded

week where you can come along and just hang out with the

Here at QUTJN, we like to spread the love, so we also host

23 August 2022, 9.30AM – 1.30PM

So, what does Semester 2 hold in store? Well, QUTJN plans

can ask all your burning questions to the best journalists

will).

Old Government House, Gardens Point

future employees.

to help you make friends. We host coffee catch-ups every

drinks across several different venues (a pub crawl, if you

Sustainability in the House: Makers Market

these skills together to produce a stellar showreel to show

panel for their “Professional Development Evening” so you

we also host a mixer every semester, which involves a few

IN SEMESTER 2

voice coaching. Of course, real-world application is what

University can be lonely sometimes, and QUTJN is here

If you’re looking for something a little more hard-hitting,

until 11 September 2022

Whilst we are a fun-loving club, we also recognise the

artwork, fashion, jewellery, and homewares from makers who create with environmental sustainability and care.

ALWAYS FREE + ALL WELCOME

been on before. Of course, as journalists, it’s important

Connect with the QUT Art Museum

to keep up to date with all the latest happenings around the world, so we’re planning a few trivia nights to make

Instagram and Facebook @s

sure we’re keeping up. We’ll even try to make exam and

Stay up to date with our upcoming events and

assignment times fun with a collaborative sub-editing night.

There is so much to do and many people to meet, so come see what you're missing out on. You can find us on Facebook

exhibitions Image credit: Ken + Julia YONETANI, Three Wishes 2014, glass figurine, butterfly specimen, glass dome, music box. Photo by Catherine Brossais. ©︎ Ken + Julia Yonetani. Courtesy of Mizuma Art Gallery.

at QUT Journalism Network or @qutjournalismnetwork on Instagram.

We hope to see you at our next event ;) Subscribe to our eNews

8

EXHIBITIONS

9

If you’re a fan of Glass, or would like to see your work in these pages, get involved with the Glass community today!

Follow us @qutglass

Join the groups “Glassies” and “QUT Writers” on Facebook to be the first to see publication opportunities.

Subscribe to our newsletter

Get Involved

Visit Glass online at qutglass.com

Club Highlights

ScratchThat Magazine is a quarterly online publication run by QUT students. If you’ve followed the ScratchThat

QUT Mechanical Engineering Student Society

evolution, you’d have noticed some big changes happening pretty regularly. This is because ScratchThat has team

QUT MESS (Mechanical Engineering Student Society)

members come and go every single semester—constantly

is a club that brings together not just QUT engineering

passing the torch over to emerging creatives who get to

students (mechanical major or not!) but students across

experience what it's like to work for a publication.

the university! Our events are planned and managed by the executive team to develop our members on a social and professional level, adding value to their university life. Some notable events provided by the team are

From Issues #1 to #9, ScratchThat expanded to encompass QUT Biological Science Society

more and more creative styles to capture the hearts of more and more lovers of art. Our final issue of last semester

industry networking nights, social pub-crawls and trivia

Do you have a passion for the living world? Or maybe

included the grand unveiling of our latest printed zine. This

nights, and academic skills workshops. We are sponsored

you are a science student looking for new opportunities

zine was an extra-special director’s cut of our take on the

by engineering companies that see this club's potential

or some like-minded friends? The Biological Science

current era of ScratchThat.

and the students attending our industry events. Each

Society is a fresh new club focused on investigating the

year we strive to innovate and evolve as a student society

natural world in a safe and friendly space. We are open

to not just host events but to grow as a community. So,

to all new members, whether you’re a science student

whether you’re an engineer looking for your first step

or simply interested in biological sciences. We aim to

into the industry, or just someone looking for a good

kick start semester two with social workshops, weekly

time, consider signing up on our website and following

lunch meetups, course structure information sessions

us on our Facebook page, search for 'QUT MESS.' Don’t

(biology major) and development/career opportunities.

hesitate to chuck us a MESSage... ;)

If you love bugs, mushrooms, plants and more, — come

We can’t wait to see what this semester’s team will produce. Follow ScratchThat at @scratchthat.mag for

scratchthatmagazine.com

updates on our weekly features, podcasts, newsletter updates, submission openings, event details, and more.

Yours truly, ScratchThat Editorial Board

join us!

10

CLUB HIGHLIGHTS

11

As I dusted, I recognised some of the faces in the pictures

In Living Memory NICOLE JACOBSON FOR SCRATCHTHAT

from the funeral. Younger versions. Blonder. Thinner. My hand froze over a picture of Ben and me. He was missing a front tooth and I was wearing a green ribbon in my hair.

The green ribbon tugged at my mind, like a plucked string.

The car rolled to a stop and Dad sucked in a breath.

‘It’s gone,’ he said. ‘It used to be a corner store.’ He pointed

Dad and Ben came inside a few seconds later. Ben had a strange look on his face, like he used to get when he was little, and a storm came late at night. At the first rumble of thunder he would appear in my doorway, his bear clutched in a white-knuckled grip.

‘Why didn’t we visit more?’ Ben asked. Loose pebbles

It was taken at a wedding reception; I think one of my

crunched under our feet in the driveway.

aunts’. All the kids had played together, our bodies buzzing

‘Timothy,’ my grandfather shouted from down the hall.

after gorging ourselves on sweets and cake.

Dad’s face fell, his shoulders dropping. I felt a lump rise in

to a car sales yard. ‘We used to stop there for ice-cream

Rust flaked as Dad lifted the metal latch on the front gate.

on the way home, remember kids?’

I followed my family through a garden arbour, ducking

The faces in the memory were blurry, but I knew some of

beneath an intricate web where a golden orb wobbled. The

them had to have been my cousins. I searched the faces

front garden overflowed with green and brown, dead leaves

as I dusted, hoping for another vibration from that pulled

My grandfather re-entered the room and walked towards

collecting in decomposing piles. We weaved through vines

string.

Dad.

My lips twitched when I came across a grainy black and

‘Don’t just stand there. Help me look.’

My brother, Ben, peered outside. I glanced back at my phone.

‘I remember leaving a toy behind one time, I think,’ Ben

and leafy branches that reached down in tangled knots

replied.

from hanging pots. I resisted the urge to brush my hair and

Mum turned in her seat and I glanced up in time to see her smile at him.

'That’s right,' she said. ‘You screamed bloody murder until we promised to go back.’

neck for phantom spiders.

Dad knocked and the door swung open. He called out but no one answered.

white picture of Dad. He wore shorts, exposing knobbly knees. He looked so much like Ben. I took out my phone and snapped a picture. I’d never seen a photo of Dad so young. I wondered if there were more,

‘He’s probably out the back,’ he reasoned to Mum. We

tucked away in thick albums with yellowing plastic, pages

walked inside. The door shut behind me on creaking hinges.

sticking together with age.

when he was proud of himself.

The air smelled of stale cigarettes and potpourri.

I noticed several dust-free items around the room. The TV

‘We’re almost there,’ Dad said as the light turned green.

Ben followed Dad, and Mum placed her bag on the kitchen

Ben smiled one of his crooked smiles. He only did those

My phone buzzed. Cami again.

table. She separated the maroon drapes in the living room.

Agitated by our movements, dust motes whizzed in the air.

It was a picture of her and Alyssa, pilfered beers in hand,

Mum turned a dial and the fan above the lounge shuddered

sunnies on, smiles wide, floating on giant rubber donuts

and began turning.

in Cami’s parents’ pool.

‘Oh,’ she said, looking over my shoulder. I twisted. Dishes

My jaw clenched. I could be there right now. Instead, my

overflowed from the kitchen sink and food, left out to

butt was numb, and my ankles ached from the limited leg

defrost, had started leaking onto the bench and growing

space. Guilt settled in my chest at the thought, but it’s not

furry spots. Mum found a plastic bin and started throwing

like I knew either of my grandparents. I’d just be in the way.

things away.

My grandmother's funeral was a week ago, and I’d met

I shifted from one foot to the other, standing under the fan

more family members there than I knew existed. Yet a

as it pushed hot air around the room, ticking with every

sense of vague recognition had ebbed and flowed as I’d

rotation.

examined the grief-stricken faces, all grouped together in hushed conversations.

At the end a man came up to Dad. They’d shaken hands. Exchanged words. There was a coldness to their condolences, as if they’d each lost something separate.

That’s when they’d arranged today’s trip. The man had said what day he’d be here and Dad had picked another. Mum told us later the man was Dad’s brother.

We had arrived. Dad parked on the street. Dry heat pushed against my skin as we piled out of the car. I glanced back inside longingly.

Mum spoke as water sputtered from the faucet.

‘Becca, there should be a feather duster hanging in the cupboard.’

‘Which cupboard? There’s like a hundred.’

remote. The lamp beside the recliner. A stack of magazines

‘Timothy, I’ve lost Lil. She’s hiding somewhere.’

Dad took a deep breath and placed a hand on his father’s shoulder. He turned him towards an olive-coloured urn that sat on a shelf in the dining room. It didn’t need dusting.

My grandfather stared at the urn for a few seconds. Then he left out the front.

Did Dad know? Or had he found out today when he returned home after so many years?

Dad went out the front too and Ben, after glancing at the

of the same woman, captured at various stages of her life.

urn, walked briskly down the hallway. Mum returned to

Youthful with full lips and freckles that stood out starkly

the dishes.

against pale skin, just like me. Then sallow-cheeked with thinning hair and crow’s feet.

I ventured further into the house, observations plucking at that string. An old metal tin full of colouring pencils. The tinkling of wind chimes. The lingering scent of cigarettes and mothballs. A fraying blue and green rug. A collection

I stood still, twisting the feather duster between my fingers.

‘Is there anything else I can do?’ I asked. Mum nodded and pointed to a bulging black rubbish bag she’d tied off and left on the floor. I picked it up, heading out the front.

of china teacups painted with soft purple pansies. The soft

Dad was in the garden, explaining to his father that most

ticking of a grandfather clock.

of the plants had died. He said the weeds strangled them.

As I dusted the lazy Susan on the dining room table, I noticed a deep scratch in the dark wood. I traced the

He said some were okay though, and we could leave them if he wanted.

curved line, like an L, as a woman’s laughter echoed in

My grandfather’s eyebrows creased as he gazed around

my mind.

the garden.

Ben had done that. He’d dumped garden tools on the table.

‘I’m not sure,’ he said. ‘I’d best check with Lil.’ The hinges

Mum had roused him for the damage, but a tiny Ben had

screeched as he went back inside.

calmly reasoned it wasn’t that bad, because it looked like the first letter of grandma’s name. Lil.

The hallway walls were lined with paintings of sprawling

The front door opened. My grandfather came inside.

landscapes and forest animals. In the living room, photos

He looked how I imagined Dad would look if you

were stacked haphazardly like dominos on every surface.

fast-forwarded a couple of decades while he stood in

Each had a different frame. Silver, wood, plain, patterned–

the sun.

even those free-standing ones where the photo slipped

my throat as my grandfather called my uncle's name again.

on the coffee table. And a collection of photos in the corner,

‘The one in the hallway.’

between layers of clear plastic.

12

kitchen. Then he shuffled down the hall.

He looked from me to Mum, who’d come out from the

Dad’s eyes lingered after his father, and my stomach lurched at the sadness etching lines onto his face. He noticed me and then the rubbish bag. He cleared his throat.

‘Here, I’ll show you,’ he offered.

‘That’s okay,’ I said, readjusting my grip. I smiled and, in my head, it looked like one of Ben’s crooked ones. ‘I remember the way.’

MEMOIR

13

What Does Cheating Say About You as a Person?

New Students Will Lose HECS if They Fail 50% of their Classes

EMMA SURMAN, QUT GUILD ACADEMIC ADVOCACY

We’ve all had those moments of desperation when we just don’t know what to do or where to begin, when we delve deeper and question ourselves.

Am I a good person?

3.

Respond to your tutor or unit coordinator

Your tutor or unit coordinator should always invite you to respond to a query about your work and if they don’t, make sure you open the lines of communication.

Is this the path I wish to lead?

4.

What led me to this moment? Copy and pasting a few words

Your letter will explain the breach of academic integrity.

more than what’s acceptable? Clicking a Facebook link for

Take note of any appeal related dates and penalty matrix.

academic help?

So, what do you do? Do you go with the flow and hope for the best? Do you chalk it up as a failure and just move on? Do you sit there, anxiety riddled that someone would find out? How do you unravel the tangle of mess you’ve gotten into?

We’ve put together a quick step by step to get you through.

1.

What has happened?

Has your tutor or unit coordinator notified you about a potential misconduct? This is the beginning of the Academic Misconduct process. This will usually be called

TOM LOUDON

5.

Thoroughly read through the decision outcome

New students starting university in 2022 will potentially

QUT Student Guild President Oscar Davison has criticised

lose their HECS-HELP loan assistance if they fail half of

the scheme, saying it will likely lead to a decrease in

their classes.

diversity in universities.

New laws passed under the Job Ready Graduates scheme

'The Job Ready Graduates schemes create significant

in 2020 have been enacted this year. They will begin to

barriers to education for many,’ Davison said.

impact students’ ability to receive government assistance for their studies after this semester.

Under the new laws, any student who fails 50% of at least

Know your appeal rights

eight degree subjects will lose funding access and have to pay future fees upfront.

One of the processes for Academic Misconduct is providing students with the opportunity to appeal, explain what

Students can potentially maintain their place if they have a

happened and if you feel the penalty is not fair.

“justifiable reason” for failing their classes or can transfer

6.

to a different degree.

Complete your sanctions

The decision has drawn the ire of student advocacy groups,

A decision has been made and it may not have gone the

with the advocacy group End Rape on Campus Australia

exact way you were hoping for, however don’t give up,

noting that students who have been victims of sexual

follow the directions in your letter and ask questions if

violence are more likely to fail at least half of the courses

you have them.

7.

they take following their assault.

Find a solution

The National Union of Students described the scheme

'This legislation is essentially a mechanism to prevent certain individuals from accessing higher education.

'Nearly 90% of university students access HECS-HELP loans to study.

'The cost of higher education is already prohibitive for many, and HECS is the only way many students, especially those from low socioeconomic backgrounds, can access higher education.

'The Job Ready Graduates scheme allows the Government to turn to an already struggling student and say, “we do not support your learning.”'

The new Labor government has promised to establish an Australian Universities Accord to achieve lasting reform in universities and deliver accessibility, affordability, quality,

an Authentication of Learning meeting (or AOL for short).

The Academic Misconduct processes are put in place to

as “pay-to-play”, with student contributions rising

Remember, it is your responsibility to uphold the Student

keep students accountable. Use the opportunity to grow

significantly in the past several years.

Code of Conduct and uphold the principles of Academic

from this experience. What are your core values? What

Glass reached out to Federal Minister for Education, Jason

Integrity (Google QUT MOPP Student Code of Conduct).

are your future goals? Whether you found the experience

Clare, to clarify how this Accord will impact the Job Ready

negative or positive, what can you learn from it now?

Graduates scheme but has not received a reply.

2.

Get help

Know you’re not alone in this. The Guild Advocacy team can help guide you through this process Email: advocacy@qutguild.com

Remember, help seeking strategies you can use in the

Academic Help workshops in the library

•

Time management. Consider a reduction in your work

Phone: 3138 1683 (GP) | 3138 2349 (KG) Address:

should contact QUT Student Guild Academic Advocacy.

Academic Advocacy Phone: 3138 1683 (GP) | 3138 2349 (KG)

hours, or apply for an Access Equity Plan.

•

Email:

Seek personal & financial support. Consider

QUT Gardens Point Campus, X Block, Level 2, Room X206

counselling or the Student Guild’s foodbank and

QUT Kelvin Grove Campus, C Block, Level 4, Room 404

transport assistance.

Opening Hours: Monday to Friday, 9am to 4pm

Students concerned they may be affected by the new rules

future include: •

and sustainability to the sector.

advocacy@qutguild.com

If you find yourself in a pickle, know that there have been people before you who went through this, and there will be people after you that go through it too.

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

14

15

NEWS

EXPLAINER

15

'Ever since I can remember, I always really liked watching cooking shows growing up, you know when you’re away from school sick, and there’s nothing else on TV during the day? I just always really liked them.’

Cooking a Crumble With Tiana Bryce

Tiana reminisces about how she used to plan menus and play ‘cafe’ with her childhood best friend, the way some kids made plays or performed dance numbers for their parents.

‘My best friend’s mum always encouraged us to cook. So, I’d go over to her house, spend all night planning a menu for the next day, and cook for everyone. It was really fun!’

From there, Tiana’s passion for cooking was strengthened, and she wanted to prove a point: that vegan and vegetarian food could not just be as good as its meat and dairy counterparts, but better.

‘Once I started cooking a lot of vegan food, it allowed me to experiment more with it. I wanted to show that vegan food is just as good, so I’d take vegan dishes I’d made to parties to try and subtlety influence my friends.’

Growing up in a Samoan family, meat was always a staple

ELLA BRUMM

When we landed on Crumble for this issue, I knew we

Tiana led me to a small round table in the living room,

Tiana, her dad can cook some nice meals, though they’re

needed a recipe. The only problem is, I hate cooking. I

where she prefers to cook with friends over the kitchen.

very meat centric. Despite this, she manages on occasion

don’t mean I just dislike it; I vehemently hate cooking with

Despite not being gluten-free or strictly vegan herself,

to trick her dad into believing vegan meat is real meat.

a passion, and if there was any other way I could sustain

Tiana went out of her way to secure special ingredients for

life without cooking food, I would. I’ve never related to a

a gluten-free, vegan apple crumble, so I could enjoy it too.

character more than when Captain Raymond Holt said

The table was dressed with glass bowls full of sugar, gluten-

on Brooklyn Nine-Nine that he eats for sustenance, and

free flour, cinnamon, and large red apples. It resembled the

sustenance alone. If only Coles or Woolworths stocked

all too familiar Facebook videos of supposedly quick and

those nutrition bricks.

easy recipes I am constantly being sucked into watching

On the other hand, Tiana Bryce, creator of the Snackish Instagram page, deeply loves cooking and baking. What

for 15 minutes at a time. But Tiana’s recipe was actually quick and easy.

better way to include an apple crumble recipe in Glass,

I peeled the apples, my one and only responsibility. I

than one I don’t have to cook, but can still taste the final

watched in awe as she tossed ingredients into the mixing

product and enjoy Tiana’s warm, bubbly company?

Tiana welcomed me into her home one Saturday morning

Two tablespoons dark brown sugar One pinch salt Juice of half a lemon One tablespoon gluten-free flour

few times, I’ve made similar dishes and put vegan meat in

Crumble ingredients

with it, and he’d go, "See, this is what I told you! And it’s so

1 cup gluten-free flour

much better with the meat."

1 cup gluten-free oats

While the crumble cooled briefly, Tiana whipped up a butterscotch sauce and moulded vegan vanilla ice cream

1 cup dark brown sugar 1/2 cup Nuttelex

into balls.

Method:

bowl to create the crust of the crumble. Tiana is not one

You couldn’t tell the final product was gluten-free and

1.

to be restricted by a recipe.

vegan. The ten-minute dessert tasted like it had been

and place into a large cake pan or ceramic

carefully cultivated over hours.

pie dish.

solution for it,’ Tiana told me when I asked what draws her

I took the rest of the crumble home and finished it that

to cooking.

night. Tiana has an undeniable talent for cooking.

As she altered the crust, balancing the amount of flour

2.

Combine the filling ingredients together

Mix the flour, oats and brown sugar together into one bowl and mix until well combined.

3.

Fold the Nuttelex into the rest of the

with softened vegan butter, she talked about where her

ingredients until it comes together.

passion for food began.

*It shouldn’t be too greasy and should be able

and recipe books perched atop. During my visit, orange

‘I’ve always been vegetarian or vegan on and off through

and red paper streamers were strewn across the top of a

high school, and my parents didn’t know how to cook that

decommissioned fireplace – Tiana and her roommates put

kind of food, so I was forced to learn.’

them there before a housewarming.

One teaspoon cinnamon

saying it would be even better with some meat in it. So, a

The door swung open to reveal Tiana – warm smile and

is nestled in the corner with pink candles, cocktail attire,

8 large apples, peeled and chopped into inch cubes

One teaspoon vanilla essence

wooden door and heard her excited ‘coming!’ in response.

don the walls of her share-house. A small copper bar cart

Filling ingredients

say how delicious a meal I made was but will preface it by

‘Cooking is almost like a problem, and I want to find the

character. Feminist posters, some created by Tiana herself,

Ingredients:

‘I’ve been able to fool him with a lot of vegan meat. He’ll

to “help” with the apple crumble recipe. I knocked on the

arms wide open. Her place emanates life, warmth, and

16

for Tiana’s family meals and gatherings. According to

Gluten-Free Vegan Apple Crumble

to clump into balls.

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

4.

Place crumble in heaps on top of the filling.

5.

Bake at 180 degrees fan forced, uncovered, for 40 minutes.

RECIPE

17

A recent study by Associate Professor Rachel Wilson of The University of Sydney found that of undergraduates

These options are not open to Education students.

who had entered a teaching qualification in 2012, only

Teaching is a public service – often described as not just

51% managed to complete the program by 2018. In other

a job, but a calling. Somewhere along the line, Australia

words, half of the potential teachers dropped out or

decided it would not only charge tens of thousands of

postponed their studies – and this is pre-pandemic. The

dollars to perform this act of public service, but also

report also found that although the number of students

force them to give up wages and job security to complete

entering undergraduate programs per year has grown

lengthy, challenging placements. This indicates an utterly

considerably, the number completing these programs has

stunning disrespect for a critical industry that’s become

actually fallen. The report lists several possible reasons

typical of neo-liberal trending governance in Australia.

for these worrying trends but misses one glaring problem that education students deal with every year: vocational placement, the months of unpaid labour mandated by teaching organisations across Australia.

These placements are just one of the many barriers keeping potential teachers out of education. There are overstocked classrooms, a lack of support for new teachers, meagre salary progression, and staggering workload expectations.

Student teachers in Queensland must undertake between

But rarely is a problem so obvious and solvable as the

60 and 80 days of placement to finish their qualification.

problem of unpaid placements.

This experience is described by the Fair Work Act 2009 as ‘lawfully unpaid’, an impressively innocuous term that obscures a big problem: unpaid placements mean fewer graduate teachers.

Any English teacher worth their salt will tell you that an effective way to end a persuasive essay is with a call to action or concluding statement. The obvious fit for this article would be 'we need to pay pre-service teachers

My cohort and I have completed two placements, and each

for vocational placements.' However, this is one facet

time have re-assembled afterwards to fewer faces. This

of a broader problem. There is a much more important

can be partially attributed to the realities of the profession

statement to be made here: we need to start treating

being experienced by students for the first time. However,

our critical industries like they are valued by Australian

all you have to do is listen to the classroom conversations

society.

to realise that this is far from the only problem. Students trade stories of financial hardship and stress, and many question whether the sacrifice is worth it – particularly for a profession with such a high burnout rate.

HARRY GEORGE WALLACE

legal role, you can claim your work as your placement."

Teachers in this country feel disrespected and burnt out.

Education students feel like martyrs struggling against the odds. The cost of living is rising daily, and there is less incentive than ever before to become a professional

Before our cohort’s first placement, we had an information

working in education. There is no one simple fix to these

lecture offered to potential teachers, informing them

problems, but a good start might be allowing our potential

of the realities we were to expect from the experience.

teachers a living wage while learning how to shape our

Long hours, emotional exhaustion, the reality of giving

society’s future.

up months’ worth of wages, financial security, and even If you were to Google “teacher crisis” at the time of writing,

demand, and this supply problem is multifaceted. Teachers

here’s what you’d find:

are leaving the profession in droves, and there simply

Covid and schools: we're heading into a teacher shortage crisis – The University of Sydney Queensland teacher shortage reaching 'crisis point’ – The ABC

to keep a staff member who needs to take a month or more of leave. With Centrelink payments for students still below the poverty line, daily living becomes a struggle.

Why are teachers leaving? And why aren’t there enough

Memorably, one of the speakers described her time on

graduates? These are both formidable, looming questions

placement as ‘a breakdown every day.’

– but if you asked your average Queensland education student what their biggest obstacle to graduating was last

Australia's teacher shortage crisis must be an election

month, they might have replied with Well, for starters I’m

priority – The Educator Australia

struggling to pay my rent because I’m halfway through a

These headlines have become a familiar part of our news

18

aren’t enough graduate teachers to fill the gaps.

job security. After all, casual jobs are under no obligation

month of unpaid placement. I know I would have.

Many industries that feed into private employment have options to work around unpaid placements. William Leach, a professional engineer, commented that his alma mater "has a requirement of three months of work experience,

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

and it's paid. There are more hoops to jump through to get

cycle. University studies, think pieces, and newspaper

My peers and I are what universities optimistically refer

an unpaid position funnily enough." Alani Tenaglia faced

headlines all agree on one thing: there aren’t enough

to as “pre-service” teachers – in other words, education

a similar situation in her law degree: "To practice law, you

teachers, and the problem is worsening rapidly. In the

students. The optimism here springs from the assumption

need to undertake 75 days of placement, or 15 days and an

face of this, one might wonder why there aren’t enough

that those studying teaching will naturally become

additional course. You’re not inherently paid to complete

teachers. There appears to be a lack of supply and mounting

teachers. According to evidence, this assumption is wrong.

placement, but if you are working in a particular type of OPINION

19

I even read out the list to my friends. It was cathartic on so many levels to talk candidly about the relationship and laugh about it with people who loved me.

Give Yourself a Little Grace Heartbreak hurts. It really does. Let yourself fall in a heap occasionally, if that’s what you need. Give yourself grace.

Maybe even share your heartbreak with someone – I can

Change Their Name on Your Phone During my most recent breakup earlier this year, my

almost guarantee you the person you share your story with will understand, and will likely have experienced that same thing.

friend Ash turned to me and said, ‘Ciaran, that man has the emotional maturity of a pair of kitchen scissors.’

I decided this would be a perfect moniker for the said man and promptly changed his name in my phone to ‘Kitchen Scissors’, complete with a scissor emoji. It worked exactly as intended – each time he texted me, or I went to text him, I would be reminded of exactly why we weren’t right

A GL ASSIE'S GUIDE TO

My friend Nadia is doing well. She'll be living in London by the time this issue goes to print (!), is looking hot AF, and even managed to pick up a cute new guy at Maya Mexican a few weekends ago. She’ll be more than fine. I know it. And you will too, Glassies.

for each other.

I’ve also seen people on TikTok doing this in a different way – each time you end things with someone, you ‘add them to the graveyard’ in your contacts by changing their name to a solitary headstone emoji.

This tip works best if you primarily message someone through text messages. You could also do this through

‘That bastard!’

Understand Why Heartbreak Hurts

This is the sound of my mother, a few champagnes in at my

This first tip is my own. In the wake of my first breakup, I

cousin’s wedding, learning about my friend Nadia’s recent

watched a 12-minute TedTalk called How to Fix a Broken

breakup. I giggled as people around us turned to see what

Heart. It might sound cheesy, but it was methodical and

had happened to make my mother gasp. My mother was

logical and exactly what I needed to understand what I

outraged to hear about how Nadia’s ex had treated her in

was going through.

the dying days of their four-year relationship.

I was outraged too. But as a writer, every heartbreak

brain, being in love is like being on drugs. It activates

strewn across my path is an opportunity. And this was

similar pathways and produces similar chemicals. So, a

a juicy one.

breakup is a withdrawal from a drug, and reminiscing on

THE GOSS: Nadia’s long-term boyfriend had been coy about moving in together. She was more than ready for it,

happier days with your ex is just your brain trying to get its fix.

he was not. Then, Nadia got one of those messages no-one

Something that helped both Nadia and me after our recent

wants to see ping into their inbox. Hey Nadia, I’m really

breakups was making a list of all the reasons our previous

sorry to tell you this…

partners weren’t right for us. Mine included small things

The Bastard had been talking to someone else. The Bastard had been on a date with someone else.

It was over. Well and truly. And though Nadia knew that it was for the best, she couldn’t help but feel entirely broken and lost in the wake of the breakup.

20

In the talk, psychologist Guy Winch explains that to your

like the fact that he slept with no doona cover (gross) and bigger things, like the fact that our moral compasses didn’t really align.

Nadia made her list mentally. I wrote mine down, took a picture of it, and carried it with me wherever I went.

Whenever I started to feel a bit sad and reminisce about

I caught up with Nadia earlier this week to chat

the sweet parts of the failed relationship, I would get out

heartbreak, healing, and how to put yourself back

the list and remind myself what it was really like to sleep

together in four steps.

with no doona cover night after night.

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

messenger, but the person will be able to see that you’ve changed their name. Which could be a good thing or a bad thing. Up to you, Glassies.

Keep Busy, Biatch Keeping yourself occupied is important on so many levels.

This was one of Nadia’s key strategies in the wake of her breakup. She mentioned how so much of the pain of a breakup is manifested in a really sudden shift in routine – you’re no longer texting that special someone when you wake up or before you go to bed. Your weekends look different, your bed might be colder.

Nadia used all of her extra time to read. She read and read like she’d never done before. She spent time with the friends she’d neglected while in the relationship. She daydreamed about her future.

I think the key here is to add things to your life (‘fill the void’, as Nadia said). Breakups can leave a gaping hole, but holes can be filled pretty darn easily with a bit of creativity and imagination.

EXPLAINER

21

Tereshkova was called when she became the first woman

just a myth. One that suggests high-volume exercise is

to leave Earth in 1963, six years before a man went to the

harmful to the female reproductive system, and fuelled

moon.

decisions such as that of the Olympic committee when

When she returns, she’ll be a hero – a heroine – right?

And she’ll be a media sensation, famous enough to be invited to the Met Gala. When she returns, she’ll be the new it girl, the one Jimmy Falon and the likes of him will be interviewing. Will she be asked different questions from her male counterparts?

ladies. From a medical point of view, of course. There has been no credited medical research to back this claim.

This was when the Summer Olympics had included female wrestlers and weightlifters for decades. Yet even after research into military women continuously disproving this age-old belief, the effects of its hold on decision-making

Why don’t you have any children?

We can imagine the responses. The feminist outrage on the socials.

remains.

Space is not the only context in which women have been held back – where society deemed women unsuitable, our needs too complex. Our government, world leaders, and sports and STEM industries reflect this. There are other truly inane examples of misogynistic myths that have held women back since the beginning of human existence.

I wonder in what ways she will be changed by the

Early trains were thought to make a woman's uterus fly

experience. Many cultures have believed that women have

out. Space is just another area where we see the need for

long been governed by the moon, our menstrual cycles

change, just as the trains did.

linked to waxing and waning. If so, will she have her period the whole time she’s there, or will she turn into a werewolf?

As our Earth crumbles around us, as glaciers melt, and our country faces bush fires and floods, maybe it’s time

Now, I do not purport to know the full scientific context as

to start sending more people into space. As governments

to why there hasn’t been a woman on the moon. However,

promise to do nothing, space is looking more and more like

it may have something to do with how some of humanity's

an alternative living solution, actualising that Planet B that

greatest minds not knowing how periods work – NASA

all the environmental activists say we don’t have. Maybe

engineers literally offered astronaut Sally Ride 100

our next generation will be the ones to colonise Mars, and

tampons for a 7-day space mission.

maybe they will watch our now home implode like a Death

It may also have something to do with the blatant ignorance of some, and the misogynistic behaviour of many. For

Star-esque spacecraft. But before we dream of starting our new civilisation, which I assume concerns people of all genders, we need to get a woman on the moon.

Note: inspired and based on the research on the 74th edition

would let our first female moonwalker choose her words

example, another excuse for the lack of moonwomen was

of the Griffith Review.

or if she’ll have an advisory council behind the matter. I

the belief that the speed and movement of the spacecraft

The US has proclaimed that it will send the first woman

imagine her standing there, still for a few moments before

compromises fertility, or that a woman’s weak body cannot

to the moon by 2024. All I have to say is…what the fuck

she carefully steps onto the moon. The rest of the crew will

withstand G-forces. When we look deeper into this myth,

took so long.

be tasked with taking photographs of her. Social media will

we find that it’s not based on science or experience, but

When man first landed on the moon, the world watched.

Generations after can still recognise the first words Neil Armstrong spoke as he became a “moonwalker”.

‘One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.’

I wonder, what will it be like for the first female astronaut to step foot on the moon? I have some theories. I can imagine

22

thousand times a year seemed not to be appropriate for

hair in?

Who was looking after your children?

ANNA HOLMES

down from about two meters off the ground about a

Were there mirrors in the spacecraft for you to do your

How do you balance work and family?

Where Are All the Moonwomen?

they withheld women from ski jumping because jumping

repeat her words and circulate her image endlessly. There will be a camera rolling, sending a live transmission back to Earth for those of us who have waited for this moment for all too long, to watch and listen.

that the first footprint of a moonwoman will become a

The Apollo 11 astronauts had an audience of 600 million

similarly celebrated icon as her male counterpart. I

people. I wonder if this moonwoman will have an audience

imagine the male crew will have been instructed to let her

the same size. There are nearly four billion women on Earth

go first, a gesture to prove chivalry isn’t dead. I imagine her

– will they all watch? And for each of these women, they

having to think carefully about her first words, as they will

have a father, brother, partner, son, uncle, friends … will

resonate for generations into the future. Neil Armstrong

they all watch too? Or will her audience dismiss her as a

got to choose his ‘one small step’ spiel. I wonder if they

hoax, her life-changing journey a stunt – just as Valentina

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

NON-FICTION

23

When Life Gives You Bananas TOM LOUDON

At the Gardens Point campus of the Queensland University of Technology, there is a room hidden atop an old brick building where scientists meet and conduct research unlike anywhere in the world. Their goal: to sure up the fate of one of the world’s largest crops – bananas.

Professor James Dale AC is an agricultural scientist and distinguished professor in the Faculty of Science School of Biology & Environmental Science at QUT. He doesn’t teach, but for the past 10 years he has led a team of world-leading scientific researchers. Their field of research – genetically modified banana crops – is gaining global importance in the wake of a potentially devastating banana pandemic threatening crops worldwide.

Professor James Dale hopes to develop fungus resistant bananas.

Photograph: Joanne Simpkins.

Dale cuts a slight frame against his imposing, almost primeval office in one of the University’s oldest buildings.

research on the emergence of a fungus called Tropical Race

His desktop, however, is lined with keyboards and

4, and the development of genetically modified bananas

Cavendish bananas and their variants are the bananas you

The team uses CRISPR gene editing to manipulate the DNA

computer screens, facing the desk of Joanne Simpkins,

able to resist the fungus. In a post-pandemic world, we

get from the store. Unlike their wild counterparts, these

of banana plants.

the QUT Bananas project manager with whom Dale shares

think of deadly diseases as spreading rapidly through

bananas don’t go to seed, which is great for consumers –

his office.

regions and communities, so the slow-moving fungus has

less seed, more banana. But this means that when a new

at least left time on Dale’s side. But in agriculture, a little

banana tree grows from the base of an old one – a process

fungus is a big deal.

known as budding – the new tree is an exact genetic replica

'This building is really flash,' Dale says, perhaps recognising the irony of a cutting-edge research facility in an old brick building.

of the old one.

lab,'Dale says. 'From modifying the embryo, we grow a plant that is a Cavendish in every way except that it is resistant to Tropical Race 4.'

But not everyone is completely sold on the prospect of

says.

All Cavendish bananas are clones.

However, the severity of scale for a banana-plague isn’t

These clones didn’t always make up such a large portion

been approved in Australia for sale. Synthetic Biologist Dr

comparable to COVID-19. Instead, Dale invokes the Potato

of the world’s bananas. Until the 1950s, the Gros Michel

Artem Anyshchenko warns public uptake of genetically

Blight, a fungus that gripped the northern hemisphere in

banana was favored by agriculturalists because its thicker

modified organisms is tentative.

the mid-1800s. Due to the regressive British Government

peel made the crop resistant to bruising in transit. That

export and land-use policies of the time, the Blight became

was before Tropical Race 1, often referred to as Panama

Originating in South East Asia and New Guinea, the banana

concentrated on Ireland, where over a million people

disease made its production unviable.

crop is a staple food across Asia and Africa. The crop’s high

starved to death in a single year. According to Dale, this

starch content and ease of tropical cultivation makes it a

could be microcosm of a world in a banana-plague.

But Dale’s research is anything but gimmicky.

'Bananas are one of the world’s top ten food crops,' Dale says. “Wheat, maze, rice, potato, Kasava, then bananas, soy beans, sweet potato, sorghum. Depends how you count sugar cane I suppose.'

key foodstuff for some of the world’s most impoverished regions, providing accessible, reliable, and healthy food.

'There is a very narrow genetic base of food crops that we eat,” Dale explains. “Industrial agriculture is based

'In Uganda they cook raw bananas while they’re hard,' Dale

around monocultures, wherein a single cultivar is closely

says. 'The bananas are steamed for three-to-four hours,

replicated or cloned to maximise output. That’s why the

then mashed. The dish, "Matooke," is a staple of Uganda,

Irish Blight eliminated a single potato crop across Ireland.

and across East Africa, bananas are a massive crop in the

No diversity is bad for immunity.'

region.'

When it comes to bananas, Dale knows what he’s talking about, and after 30 years working on the crop, the professor has become concerned.

Dale and his team have for the past decade focused their

24

'Once it gets in the soil, it’s impossible to remove,' Dale

'Trees have embryos too and we can make them in the

A nd when it comes to farming, bananas are a problematically un-diverse crop.

'They were clones, and they weren’t resistant to the fungus,' Dale says. 'Cavendish has taken over precisely because it is resistant to Tropical Race 1.'

Tropical Race 4, now present in South America, Asia, Australia, Sri Lanka, and Europe, is a blight for almost every species of banana, including the Cavendish. But in the wild, uncultivated, seeded banana plants of the world, some diversity remains.

Dale and his team identified a south-east Asian banana variant resistant to Tropical Race 4. After identifying the

'There are about a thousand varieties,” Dale says of banana

gene resistant to Tropical Race 4, they extracted the gene

species. “But globally, the Cavendish banana makes up

and inserted it into a Cavendish plant. The gene in question

about 50% of all variety.'

is already present in the Cavendish – the difference is, it isn’t activated.

genetic modification, and so far, no gene edited crops have

'There are plenty of socio-economic considerations that affect the acceptability of the product,' Dr Anyshchenko says.

'There are imbedded moral values too. Regardless of those considerations, GMOs are indispensable to the global food supply, not only in the future, but also today.'

University of Queensland researcher Dr. James Hereward, who studies population genetics to understand agricultural pests, says there is an ongoing review process at Food Standards Australia and New Zealand to establish how to regulate gene edited crops relative to GMO foods.

'Gene editing is a very powerful technology that can accelerate efforts to increase production and make crops more resilient to climate change,' Dr Hereward said.

'In Australia, gene editing methods that do not introduce NON-FICTION

25

The Freeze Response

any new genetic material are de-regulated by the Office of the Gene Technology Regulator.'

During an attack, a victim of sexual assault may respond in one of three ways: fight, f light, or freeze. Each

'In many ways gene editing is the same as conventional

response is entirely valid and depends on the individual

breeding methods that create random changes to the DNA

circumstances of the victim, but the freeze response is

of a crop species by chemical mutagenesis, but they are more precise and targeted.'

often misunderstood in terms of sexual assault.

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

Some victims fear the threat of implicit or explicit physical

This is essentially the technique developed by Dale to

violence and determine their safest option is to freeze,

activate the resistant gene in the Cavendish, which

assessing that fighting or fleeing would increase the risk

has since been successfully tested at exposed sites in

of pain and suffering. In cases like these, the defence can

the Northern Territory. The eventual goal; to provide

establish Mistake of Fact despite freezing not being an

an alternative to, and potentially replace, Cavendish

indicator of consent under the law.

plantations in Uganda, across Africa, and the world.

TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT

And for Dale, this is only the beginning of the positive

The Crumbling Legitimacy of Queensland's Consent Laws

entirely unconscious, rendering her incapable of physically

identify the relevant genes across these species and

ELLA BRUMM

consenting as she did not fight back.

improve the output and quality of bananas around the

In June, Queensland’s Attorney General Shannon

world.

Fentiman announced that Queensland is likely to adopt

implications of this research.

'The Cavendish is high yielding … others are bigger, tougher, tastier, disease resistant... we could potentially

an affirmative consent model, but until then, Queensland

'Similar opportunities exist too for other crops … citruses

remains one of the worst states in Australia for achieving

like oranges.'

justice for victims.

Until the day Dale’s bananas hit the shelves, there is one

or verbally resisting the assault. The defence used her lack of resistance to raise Mistake of Fact as it meant the defendant could have mistakenly believed she was

In R v Dunrobin the complainant initially resisted, then passively complied, allowing the defendant to benefit from Mistake of Fact. She repeatedly told her attacker to stop and attempted to push him off. The defendant then removed her clothes and had intercourse with her. The

In Australia, to secure a conviction of rape, the prosecution

complainant testified that her body froze because she was

must prove that the defendant engaged in sexual

scared that her resistance would be to no avail or lead to

'They’re tiny,' Dale laughs. 'They get to about the size

intercourse without the complainant’s consent. However,

greater harm. The defendant was able to prove Mistake of

of your pinky at the moment, but they’ll be at the store

in Queensland, it isn’t that easy, and a century-old loophole

Fact on the ground of her freezing.

sometime soon, I hope.'

allows perpetrators to use rape myths to walk free.

more major hurdle to clear.

– a victim’s initial refusal is not enough to refute consent.

consent, which must be ‘freely and voluntarily given

Any subsequent freezing retroactively validates the

with the cognitive capacity to do so’. Consent cannot be

defendant’s belief that consent had been given.

or fraud.

Mistake of Fact is a defence used in sexual assault and rape cases that suggests the defendant had an honest and reasonable – but mistaken – belief that the complainant was consenting. This is easier for a defendant than

Intoxication, either by the defendant, the complainant, or both, allows the defendant to blame their lack of caution when gauging whether the complainant was consenting on intoxication.

To prove Mistake of Fact, the defendant must demonstrate

Fact, a defendant will lean into popular rape myths, like

that their belief was not only honest but also reasonable.

what a victim was wearing, drinking, or where they were,

Intoxication cannot be used to prove that the defendant’s

to suggest that intercourse was, in fact, consensual.

mistake was reasonable. However, it can be used to prove

interpreted, and applied by men to favour men and leads to survivors facing more scrutiny than perpetrators of assault. While a person of any gender can commit

Read the full article, here at qutglass.com

Intoxication Lowers the Bar for Proving Mistake of Fact

disproving the incident occurred. To prove Mistake of

Mistake of Fact emphasises how the law is constructed,

Cross-section of a healthy banana tree (right), vs a tree infected with TR4 (left).

This has established a dangerous precedent in Queensland

In Queensland, the definition of rape centres around

obtained falsely, including by threat, force, intimidation,

26

In R v Sax the complainant was extremely drunk but not

that it was honest. Professor of Law and Associate Dean of Research at Bond University, Jonathon Crowe, summarises this as determining if a mistake is a genuine mistake and not just something being made up.

sexual assault and rape, this article focuses on the male-

‘The courts have said that if the defendant is intoxicated,

perpetrator, female-victim paradigm, reflecting the

then that might mean they would make a mistake that they

gender disproportionality in these cases.

might not otherwise make [sober], and so in that respect, it can support the honesty of the mistake.’

NON-FICTION

27

W hile intoxication cannot be used to determine

have shown that rape myths play a role in rape trials, and

reasonableness, Crowe doubts whether a jury would be

the QLRC just ignored that in favour of this UK study’.

TOM LOUDON

As the world demands the human right of self-determination

range of plant and animal species – some still unknown

‘The reason the QLRC had its inquiry in the first place was

for Ukraine, West Papua remains trapped under colonial

to the outside world. The region is notable for its distinct

‘The problem I think is that because intoxication is relevant

because of substantive problems that have been pointed

oppression.

ethnolinguistic populations aligned more closely with the

to honesty, the defence could [say] the defendant was so

out by [advocates] ... and so the QLRC’s reforms didn’t do

drunk that they made a mistake.’

anything to address those problems because they didn’t

able to distinguish this legal technicality.

Crowe highlights that this is not an issue in other states,

change the law, they just codified it.’

The 20th and 21st centuries saw, and continue to see, a rise of independence movements across the world in response to centuries of colonial brutality. These movements, often

neighbouring peoples of Papua New Guinea, the nation comprising the island’s eastern half. Over 250 tribes live in the territory and speak more than 400 languages.

as intoxication is deemed irrelevant and cannot be used to

So how do we rectify this institutionalised nature of

codified in wars and certified by the emergence of new

But physical isolation is only part of the West Papuan

prove honesty for Mistake of Fact. However, the ability to

gaslighting survivors and ensure that the justice system

states, are seen retrospectively as movements for freedom

story. The Indonesian government has restricted access

rely on intoxication to prove the defendant’s mistake was

upholds the rights of the complainant? According to

and self-determination. Ethnic cleansings like those in

to the region for foreign journalists, researchers, and UN

honest remains an issue in Queensland, where this defence

Professor Crowe, the answer is simple.

Xinxiang and the Balkans tend now to be met by scrutiny

Officials. Additionally, Indigenous West Papuans regularly

and outrage from the West, who occasionally intervene

experience racism and racist violence at the hands of

militarily or economically. But the liberal-Western cult of

Indonesian authorities.

has succeeded in cases where the complainant ‘blacked out’, legally meaning she was incapable of consenting.

During one trial it was noted that the defendant was intoxicated making them ‘too drunk’ to have removed the complainant’s clothes. The defence insinuated that the complainant was mistaken in her account of being raped, as she herself was drunk.

Intoxication is only legally permissible for determining a victim’s capacity to consent, but in this case, it was used to undermine and critique the complainant’s account, thereby placing the victim on trial rather than the defendant.

The Recent Amendment Has Not Gone Far Enough

‘I think that limiting the application of the excuse would be a big step forward, and that is what Queensland is likely to do at some point because that’s the model that has been adopted in other states … the other option of removing the Mistake of Fact excuse from rape and sexual assault entirely should also be on the table.’

Essentially, this would mean that the defendant cannot rely upon intoxication to prove their mistake was honest or retort archaic rape myths. Additionally, the defendant must demonstrate that he took positive steps in ascertaining the complainant’s consent. In practice, this

and application of consent and Mistake of Fact. For the

this defence to excuse reckless behaviour.

draw that connection,’ Professor Crowe said.

‘Secondly, other studies in Australia from different states

In ceding West Papuan independence, the West believed they could manipulate President Sukarno and then his successor President Suharto, thus ensuring Indonesia

‘Is the Act of Free Choice valid, given the referendum only allowed 1,025 elders to vote on behalf of the entire population of West Papua?’ Juffa asks.

‘During the 1969 takeover, there was a huge spillover of refugees coming across to PNG from West Papua.’ Juffa

of proof. This is a flawed argument as the onus of proof

Netherlands, West Papua was invaded and occupied

says this movement continues to this day.

remains with the prosecution to prove the defendant had

by Indonesia, which has maintained a strong military

carnal knowledge with the complainant without their

presence ever since.

due process.

what happens in QLD trials; there’s just no way you can

regime of President Sukarno came to occupy the region.

two years after having declared independence from the

support the concern that jurors commonly harbour false

Firstly, you can’t use a study from the UK as evidence of

a political movement advocating for the people of West

would not become a communist nation. However, in 1961,

consent, remaining consistent with the rule of law and

‘There are two important things to note [about this study].

Across the border in Papua New Guinea, Gary Juffa leads

Conservative opponents argue this will reverse the onus

The review states that recent research does not strongly

criticised study from the UK.

is now Indonesia. But Indonesia is hardly a single entity.

Free Choice is ‘The Act of No Choice.’

consents to each new sexual act, as they cannot rely on

to remain impartial, and instead relied upon a heavily

flag is punishable by up to fifteen years in prison.

Netherlands resulted in the eventual sovereignty of what

West Papuan Liberation Movement. To Juffa, the Act of

delivered a profoundly flawed review of the operation

regarding the influence rape myths have on jurors’ ability

treason under Indonesian law – raising the Morning Star

17th, 1945. The ensuing four-year conf lict with the

gaining brief international recognition before the violent

be expected to take active steps to ensure their partner

mountain of studies that have been conducted in Australia

Calling for West Papuan Independence is considered

Indonesian Independence was read in Jakarta on August

Governor of Oro Province, Juffa, is fiercely involved in the

or presumption of innocence. The initiating party will

willing ignorance on the part of the QLRC concerning the

also lags behind Indonesians, as does infant mortality.

announced independence when the Proclamation of

territory. West Papua declared independence in 1961,

In June 2020, the Queensland Law Reform Commission

affect jury deliberation or verdicts. This indicates a

centres on the island. The life expectancy for West Papuans

Indonesia, formerly the colony of the Dutch East Indies,

Papua. The People’s Movement for Change leader, and the

their best efforts to achieve justice will only be in vain.

prejudices or rape myths, or that any such preconceptions

whereas non-Papuan Indonesians dominate commercial

originally include West Papua, which remained a Dutch

without infringing upon the defendant’s right to a fair trial

were substantial.

less focused on the pacific region of West Papua.

Native Papuans survive through subsistence agriculture,

available for the defendant to use.

Queensland screams to sexual assault survivors that

QLRC delivered only five recommendations, none of which

states of the former Soviet Union, and Eastern Europe is

The national revolution that created Indonesia did not

This would alleviate the injustice experienced by victims

to amend these injustices for sexual assault victims, the

self-determination extended to places like Hong Kong, the

would mean that the Mistake of Fact defence would not be

The availability of the Mistake of Fact defence in

gravity of such an issue and the immense overhaul needed

28

As the World Watches Ukraine, West Papua Struggles for Self-Determination

highlight that Western complicity in Indonesia’s brutality

and in 1969, the Indonesian Military individually selected

can be traced back prior to the occupation.

1,025 West Papuans to vote in a plebiscite. It is believed

in law. Regardless of whether the Mistake of Fact excuse

these voters, mostly tribal elders, had either been

applies to rape or not, the prosecution would still have

personally threatened, or had their families threatened.

to prove the elements of the crime beyond a reasonable

The Act of Free Choice, the resulting legal resolution, was

doubt.’

passed unanimously, enshrining Indonesian control over

about changing social attitudes, and that’s probably

move across to the communist nations,” Juffa said, keen to

Opposition in West Papua was quelled through violence,

‘It’s just false,’ Professor Crowe says. ‘That is wrong to say

‘This is not just an issue about changing the law, it’s also

‘[The West] was fearful in the sixties that Indonesia would

the territories. This process was not conducted with U.N oversight.

the most important objective. We... need to accompany

The Melanesian region of West Papua consists of the

legislative changes with public education. This is

two Indonesian provinces on the island of New Guinea,

something that should be sustained and should be part

confusingly referred to as Papua and West Papua. The

of sex education in schools. I think that is the only way to,

mountainous island just north of Australia is home to

over time... address and rectify rape myths.’

the world’s second-largest rainforest, hosting a diverse

‘The system installed there by the [Dutch colonial powers] remains,’ he adds.

‘They use the same system, thus extracting profits. Bloody profits – but profits nonetheless.’

The situation in West Papua is urgent and what you do matters.

Read the full article, here at qutglass.com

NON-FICTION

29

I suspect the number of students with mortgages is

Expect your power bill to jump substantially in the next

low, but higher interest rates will still impact us greatly.

quarter and to continue to rise after that until there is

Landlords will almost always pass the full cost of the larger

either a change to energy policy in Australia, or a resolution

interest bill onto their tenants. Therefore, if your rental

to the war in Ukraine.

lease expires shortly, you should expect the rent to go up substantially.

One of the Albanese Government’s first major actions since

A rise to 2.5 per cent will certainly slow the growth in

taking office has been their submission to the Fair Work

house prices and reduce the amount of money people have

Commission recommending an increase to the minimum

to spend. The hope is that if people have less money to

wage of at least 5.1 per cent.

spend, then inflation will slow down. This is particularly important for students who work in industries like retail and hospitality, where people typically spend less as their budgets get tighter. On the other hand, if rates rise too quickly, Australia could fall into recession which would reduce the job opportunities available to graduating students.

Independent of the government, the Fair Work Commission aims to balance the needs of employers and workers when setting the minimum wage in Australia. Unions argued that the minimum wage should increase by more than the 5.1 per cent inflation rate so that workers could meet the rising cost of living. Business groups argued for a smaller increase to the minimum wage by stating that

Power Prices

small businesses are already struggling with other cost

A culmination of many factors has placed the Australian

pressures.

energy grid under extreme stress. The wholesale price of electricity has more than doubled in the past 12 months.

There are now serious concerns of rolling blackouts occurring in major cities across the east coast throughout

The Fair Work Commission surprised many commentators when it handed down its decision to lift the minimum wage by 5.2 per cent.

winter. NSW Energy Minister Matt Kean has urged

From July 1st, the new minimum wage will be $21.38 an

residents to limit their energy usage between 5:30 pm

hour, a rise of $1.05 an hour. The Commission stated that

and 8:30 pm to help ensure that the grid would continue

the decision was made in response to the pressure placed

to function through the night.

on low-paid workers by the rising cost of living. Students

The war in Ukraine is the most direct cause of the current energy crisis. Before the invasion, Russia was a major exporter of coal, oil, and natural gas. Now that

SAM COLLINS

Wages

employed in industries covered under the award system, such as retail and food services, will also benefit from a 4.6 per cent pay increase.

the European Union has sanctioned Russia by banning

Student Debt

the import of their commodities, global prices have

If you’ve logged into myGov recently, you might have

skyrocketed. Despite being a major exporter of coal and

noticed a jump in your student loans. There are many good

natural gas ourselves, decades of bad policy means that

things about a HECS-HELP debt compared to other debts:

Australia is often forced to pay the global market rate for

there’s no interest, no mandatory repayments until you

these commodities.

earn more than $47,014 per year, and any outstanding debt

With the new financial year upon us, and a brand-new

The low interest rates during the Pandemic played a

government, it’s as good an opportunity as ever to look

large role in the skyrocketing property prices across the

at your own finances, and what some recent changes will

country. For example, median house prices in Brisbane

The skyrocketing prices of coal and natural gas have

mean for you and those around you.

have reached $856,431, an unbelievable 31.1 per cent rise

occurred at maybe the worst possible time for Australia.

in the past 12 months.

The winter weather has reduced the energy generated

Inflation means that over time, each dollar is progressively

by wind and solar at a time of peak demand. Several

worth less each year. An indexation rate is applied annually

major coal-fired power generators have also gone offline

to HECS-HELP loans to ensure that students pay back an

unexpectedly.

amount in today’s money that is equivalent to the value of

Interest

is cancelled if you die. However, one of the few caveats is indexation.

The most consequential economic story of recent weeks

Reserve Bank Governor Phillip Lowe said in a statement in

has been the Reserve Bank’s decision to raise interest

November last year that he thought it was ‘entirely possible’

rates by half a percentage point. Like much of the world,

that interest rates would remain at their Pandemic lows

Australia set their interest rates to historically low levels

until 2024. Lowe now suggests that interest rates will

Energy retailers will begin passing these price rises to

during the COVID-19 pandemic to keep the economy

continue to rise from their 0.1 per cent pandemic low to

consumers from July 1st. The initial price rise will increase

The inflation rate for most of the last decade has stayed

going. This allowed households and businesses to borrow

2.5 per cent in the coming years. The speed of the rise to

the default market offer for power by 12.9 per cent in

between one and two per cent. This indexation rate is so

cheaply and have more money to spend. However, now that

2.5 per cent will be determined by the rate of inflation and

south-east Queensland. Businesses in energy-intensive

small that most people probably wouldn’t have noticed it

the pandemic restrictions have largely been removed, the

the overall state of the economy.

industries, like food manufacturing, will pass the higher

in previous years. But now that inflation is rising again, so

energy costs onto consumers by raising prices.

is the indexation rate.

economy is roaring again, so the RBA has decided to put

the money when the loan was taken out.

the brakes on by hiking rates.

30

NON-FICTION

31

On 1 June, a 3.9 per cent indexation rate was applied to all

However, reducing spending will be a difficult political

‘People without a uterus can experience this pain due to

outstanding student loan balances. This is much higher

task. A reduction in government spending can slow

tight pelvic floor muscles, an inflamed prostate, pudendal

than the 1.8 per cent, and 0.6 per cent rises in 2020 and

down inflation and an increase can accelerate it. Labor

neuralgia (activation of the nerve that innervates the

2021 , respectively. On a $40,000 HECS-HELP balance, this

made significant election promises to spend more than

skin between the legs) – it is important that this pain is

year’s indexation added $1,560 to the total debt.

the previous government on child care, aged care, and

acknowledged and the social taboo around this is removed.’

Leading economists predict that inflation will reach seven per cent in Australia by the end of this year. That scenario would mean that a $40,000 student debt in 2022 would grow to $44,469.20 by 2023, even if no additional study costs are added to the loan.

The indexation applied to HECS-HELP loans is something both new and continuing students should be conscious of when enrolling in a new semester. A large HECS-HELP debt is vastly preferable to, say, a large credit card debt, but it still will have consequences later in life.

Government Finances The Albanese Government faces extremely challenging economic circumstances on both the domestic and international fronts. Treasurer Jim Chalmers held a press conference recently where he described the situation facing the Australian budget as ‘dire’.

The unprecedented spending during the pandemic has left

addressing climate change. The electorate will tolerate

where to seek help, and how to manage their pain.’

interest rates and generous government spending, need to be reversed quickly to control inflation.

Kate says her PPEP Talk is a one-hour-presentation that can be delivered to students in Year 9 and above – including

History has shown that a cycle can begin where the rising

students with or without a uterus. They run sessions for

cost of living forces workers to demand higher wages, TOM LOUDON WITH K ATE TOMSETT

the community, First Nations peoples, and athletes. The

Queensland schools have historically lagged behind

is not so normal when it comes to period pain, and how

the rest of Australia in terms of sex education, but in

one can manage pain to engage fully with the life they

There will be no easy solutions for the government when

2022, one organisation aims to change that. Today, sex

want to lead.

they deliver the revised budget in October.

education is managed at the level of individual schools

which drives prices higher. A recession is often the only way to break the cycle, which would devastate students entering the job market.

in partnership with their local communities. While the Health & Physical Education curriculum gives schools a

‘To do this we talk through different types of pain, anatomy, and the neuroscience of pain,’ Kate says.

‘People learn how to identify pain, and where to seek help

with students — specifically around puberty, sexuality, and

for endometriosis symptoms.'

individual school communities.

This approach has created a knowledge vacuum, filled This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

aim of a session is to elucidate what is normal and what

framework to discuss healthy and respectful relationships safe sex. How and when this is done are questions left to

debt. As a result, the new government will either increase

the government as it can collect more in income taxes.

people on how to recognise when their pain is not normal,

that helped get Australia through the pandemic, low

means the government will have a higher interest bill on its

pay increases to meet the costs of inflation should also help

increase school attendance, and engagement and educate

disadvantaged in the community. The economic remedies

Similar to a household mortgage, a rising interest rate

ore and coal, which are at record prices. Workers receiving

‘We aim to reduce time to diagnosis of endometriosis,

the consequences inf licted hardest upon the most

options available to the new government.

with the increased royalties from commodities like iron

Kate told me.

High inf lation is a difficult problem to solve, with

economies, it will significantly constrain the spending

The government will have some help on the income front

education; clinical management and care; and research,’

their promises so soon after taking office.

this is a modest amount compared to other advanced

other areas to pay the interest bill.

Plan for Endometriosis (NAPE) which are awareness and

situation. Still, Labor can’t be seen to be walking away from

Australia with a gross debt of around $963 billion. While

their income through higher taxes or reduce spending in

'PPFA work around the priorities for the National Action

some delay on these promises because of the economic

by misinformation, myths, and shame around people’s bodies. That is why non-profit organisations, such as the Pelvic Pain Foundation of Australia (PPFA), have come to the forefront of private education.

Kate Tomsett is a 23-year-old paramedicine student who works with PPFA to deliver “PPEP Talks” (Period, Pain, and Endometriosis Program). After a year of working with the program, Kate has a few ideas to improve sexual health education in Queensland.

Kate hopes to lift the stigma around pelvic pain and “women’s issues.”

‘1 in 12 people without a uterus will experience pelvic pain,’ Kate implores.

‘We all have a pelvis, we all have pelvic floor muscles, we can all experience pain.'

‘A session is interactive, and we give students tools they can immediately use to manage their pain or to support others in their lives with period or pelvic pain.’

While Kate thinks this information should be taught to everyone, she also thinks it’s a difficult ask to add to existing teacher’s loads.

‘Schools have a lot to fit into their curriculum and we can take something off their plate but also have curriculum linked information delivered by health professionals,’ Kate said. An important distinction, as Kate sees it as crucial to change the way we talk about pelvic pain.

‘We need to talk about it,’ she said.

‘We need to be comfortable not only talking about it, but devoutly listening to and validating what people are feeling.'

‘For too long people with pelvic pain have been told that

‘Pelvic pain is the most common urological diagnosis in

it is “in their head” or that they “should suck it up, it’s just

people without a uterus under the age of 50.'

period pain” ... people often feel helpless talking about pain because they can’t whip out a tool kit and fix it.'

32

NON-FICTION

33

‘Providing a safe space for someone to feel heard can be enough.'

‘The language we use around pain can be damaging ... we think of pain as debilitating, crippling or sensitive, when really pain is an incredibly powerful tool for the body – pain is intelligent, adaptive, and neuroplastic.’

PPFA do surveys before and after every session, and student responses include comments like: Best education we have ever received on periods. It was engaging, informative and the speaker made us feel so comfortable – a student with a uterus.

I'm so excited to be able to help others around me regarding this subject – a student without a uterus.

So far in Queensland, 100% of schools Kate and

sex but offline JACKSON MACHADO-NUNES

her colleagues have visited want to participate

you’re typing 'am i asexual quiz' into the search bar

in the program next year, with one teacher even

but you’d rather just be playing your DS or something.

commenting that watching students gain confidence

something that doesn’t involve questioning the deepest

in discussing their period was a deeply positive

parts of yourself like you feel like you’ve been doing for

experience.

years. at this point you’re pretty sick of having an identity

It remains to be seen whether educators like Kate can overturn deeply entrenched social stigmas, but in the

to discover at all, but if you’re not doing this you’ll just be worrying about something else anyway.

meantime, here are some things you should know

you’re thinking about how society is a time-bomb, one

about pelvic pain.

that’s gone off about ten times this decade already. you wouldn’t have to even think about being asexual if the world wasn’t so obsessed with making everything about sex and intimacy. that’s an unfair statement, sex and intimacy should totally be up for exploration in the media, #sexpositivity, but why are we all expected to love it?

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

the tricky thing is…you kinda like the thought of it alone.

enough into the wall a troubleshooting guide will come out

you like the idea of it when you can be this perfect being

and show you how to reset your brain, or at least detail the

in your mind. sometimes for men that remind you of

components of your model and tell you what’s going on in

sitting alone every day watching the pretty people not

there - like one of those Furbies with likes and dislikes,

bring lunch to school, you can convince yourself that it

some like apple sauce, some do intermittent fasting.

feels good to do what they say. but then again, you also kinda like that powerful feeling of not enjoying a second

you’d rather just register your disdain for being asked to

maybe you’re just procrastinating. again searching for

put your penis into a person and move on, rather than

online validation, like when you were in high-school on

thinking about all the pretty characters from Euphoria or

Omegle looking for 40-year-olds to want you more than

Sex Education that love having sex and wondering if you’re

they wanted their wives. you think about all the times

just trying too hard to be different. you feel every voice

you’ve enjoyed sex, sexting, things like that…and it’s

you go through the quiz and wind up not being asexual,

inside you begging for another perspective. something

just never been sex that you were looking for, not really.

but, nice try. are you just trying to pick up labels like

about all big discoveries about your identity needing to

you wanted to be a pleaser, or to feel pretty, or sexy. it’s

Thanos and those infinity stones, or do you really think

be encouraged by Buzzfeed or Harper’s Bazaar first, like

like everything just wants to dawn on you all at once or

you could go the rest of your life without sex?

the time you thought about switching over to almond milk.

something. you’re asking yourself if anything you’ve ever

you haven’t clicked on the quiz yet, and you’re nervous to. nervous because it will give you an answer, and nervous because whether it says yes or no you’ll just acquiesce

34

maybe you’re a robot. maybe if you bang your head hard

really done has been for you. something tells you that

of a guy’s time. like you have better things to do than get some guy off after a hard day of making short films about frustration and being so incredibly intelligent.

well, maybe there’s a quiz for that too.

you’re not just a sensitive person that needs to acclimate into sexual liberation. maybe you’re just defective.

to the opposite anyway. what you want to do is pick up

there’s something about sex that makes you feel not a part

your phone to a notification from YouTube about a new

of it. like it’s a club and you’re not invited. like you’re always

Smosh Pit video - omg, Shayne Topp came out as asexual?

behind your own eyes, counting down the seconds until

I’m just like him! But no, it’s silence all around you except

His breath catches and you’re suddenly not there for any

everywhere that it’s so freaking loud. you hit the link from

reason at all. your first complaint about sex to your friends

ProProfs that claims: With this asexual test, you will get

was that it feels like it just goes on forever. maybe that just

the answer to your question, am I asexual?

means you’re bad at it, but you’re not sure.

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

NON-FICTION

35

When Opposites Attract TOM LOUDON

When two art students arrived in the city to attend the

'Our exhibition is showing both of our separate practices

‘With portraiture there is a lot of identity. But I also like

Queensland University of Technology, the sky seemed like

and showing them together in one place, because we felt

duality and having challenging things next to each other,

the limit. But after peering in for so long and deciding to

like there wasn’t anywhere for us to do that. A lot of the art

like scary things next to comforting things.’

take the plunge, they realised that they had been locked out.

industry tends to be very exclusive, or it’s who you know,

So now, Sam Hope and Izzy Heaton are breaking in with

or it’s very pretentious.’

their own exhibition this November, and we’re all invited.

For the uninitiated, the Brisbane art scene exists in two forms: mass monuments to creativity like GOMA and the Queensland Art Gallery, or the occasional, miniature nooks that pop up outside of buildings and on the walls When Sam Hope and Izzy Heaton came to Brisbane from their respective Queensland towns, the art scene blew them away, and that excitement has so far kept them here.

Hope, who previously worked at the only art gallery in Cairns, nearly went broke during her first year in Brisbane.

‘I was going to every show,’ she laughs.

obsessed with mass architecture when she moved to

‘The scene is dominated by money,’ she says. ‘It has turned less into culture and more into business, which is upsetting.’

‘We just wanted to do something that’s more “us”, not trying to fit a brief. It’s exciting … we can celebrate our own art and not worry about pleasing someone else.’

to the urban quiet – a trend reflected in her recent move to photography. Her work concerns itself primarily with human emotion, and the themes of grief and loss.

Though Hope’s installations are usually kinetic, she isn’t sure if they are very structurally sound. She is more emotional than political, and plays with reflection and light to explore the way people process thought.

'We were trying to find venues where we could show our

‘We’ve got our own niche,’ Heaton says.

work, but there was always ‘you’ve got to do this, or it needs show whatever she wants to show and I can show what I

ones as well ... it was refreshing to have a lot more culture

want to show.’

When the pair eventually secured a space at The Station

Hope sits across from me next to her friend, Isabelle

in Fortitude Valley, they ran into a new problem. Their

(Izzy) Heaton, a Sunshine Coast native who has previously

different vibes don’t just manifest in their fashion, they

modelled for Hope’s photo series On My Mind, which was

extend to their practice as well.

Heaton likes noise, and moving to the city has exposed

‘The only thing that we agreed on was that maybe the work should complement each other in terms of colour,’ Hope says.

‘That was the only boundary we put on each other, but we’ll see how that goes. It’ll be two very different sides of the room at the exhibition.’

‘We’re gonna have merch, but even the art that we’re showing, it isn’t like oh we got to make a sale from this … we’re showing the art works because we have stuff we want

The pair are an odd couple. Heaton is colourful, with

her to a new world of noise, inspiration, and colour. While

a green streak through her hair and vibrant outfit.

there’s always a good spot for street art, her favourite place

Conversely, Hope’s monochrome vibe matches the

in Brisbane is a boardwalk that went down in the recent

For now, Heaton and Hope will be staying in Brisbane

aesthetic of her photos in Glass. Heaton assures me that

floods.

and potentially hosting more exhibitions, with a goal

to agree.

When sharing an open studio class in 2021, the tardy Heaton found a seat available next to Hope, and they’ve remained friends. Hope has since finished the now defunct Bachelor of Arts (Creative Arts and Design), and Heaton is a second-year Visual Arts student, both at QUT. Exhibiting their art hasn't been as easy as they imagined when they first came to Brisbane and were taken with the art scene.

‘It’s interesting because since it’s been back, it’s got all this random stuff in the branches of the trees and stuff,’ Heaton says.

Heaton is a painter, and interested in expressionism and distorting reality to convey emotion. Her work tends to use uncanny brightness and, more recently, a lot of self-portraiture, in examination of selfie culture and multiple-self theory.

to say, or need to say.’

of including more student and emerging artists. They expect these to be bigger and better, and are hopeful the initiative they’ve taken so far might open them up to other opportunities.

Hope is also a singer in the band Twelve Ballet. Heaton plays a bit of bass, and is building a guitar with her dad.

Their exhibition is sponsored by the spirit brand Pals, and will take place for one night only, at 6pm, November 19th at The Station, Fortitude Valley.

‘The goal of portraiture is to capture a person, but that in itself is impossible,’ Heaton says. ‘There's a construction

‘There’s a lot of cliques and things like that in the art

of different faces of myself that I can make, and I explore

industry,’ Heaton says.

that in my work.’

‘So, we thought fine, we’ll do something just on our own.’

When Heaton is political, she is reactive rather than pointed. She remains interested in religious imagery and themes despite not being religious herself.

36

Brisbane. Where Heaton tends to be loud, Hope gravitates

Hope agrees.

to a place like this, where there’s GOMA and all the little

their goofy personalities align though, and I’m inclined

Photograph courtesy of Your Pals.

focused on Bauhaus and brutalist movements, and became

rather than shared as cultural artifact.

to fit this, or whatever,’ Hope says. ‘So, stuff it. Izzy can

featured in the most recent issue of Glass.

and mobiles comprising geometric elements. She is more

Heaton is disappointed that art is hoarded as a commodity,

‘Going from a place where there’s only one or two galleries

around, and not just art, but music and theatre too.’

On the other hand, Hope creates installations, sculptures,

Learn more about this exhibit, and these artists, here.

NON-FICTION

37

ARTWORK BY ANNE KELLEY

One Thousand Pieces

Summers on the Floor

EURIELLE (CHELSEA) GLENN

HANNAH JAMES

After all this time You are right here Wondering where it all went wrong What moment you should regret Oh but you don’t know do you?

Your mind but a haze Her heart, defaced You’re asking yourself what’s at the bottom of the bottle It’s your tears Filling up the empty

On the sizzling cement pavement,

The bottled tears you down Oh but you don’t know do you?

You find but a blaze Her departure, chased

It's always following and chasing, This shadow.

And the sun sees to that, But it's not natural like that.

She pried, and I couldn’t form an answer.

I think the modern human being has made love with the

behind glass displays so no one can touch us (as if a few

word crumble countless times before they even learnt

grains of sand being taken away will stop us from being a

what the term truly meant. I know I have. To be human is to

beautiful sand sculpture at the end of the day). What we

crumble, whether due to heartbreak, loss, tragedy or the

do not understand is that we must let the sand sculpture

Online shopping for something that’s not in store.

intense feeling of missing someone who isn’t even gone.

crumble, either in bits and pieces or as a whole. Because

Faceless friends forever/ kids bonding over loose ends.

When you Google the word ‘crumble’, Google gives you

Have you always been afraid?

Google searching just to speak into the void and have it speak back to you.

Boredom fuelled summer of cruel fascination, Crying on your mother’s carpet,

It is declared a sin

As though you never learned to walk.

Beware the mark of tomorrow Never miss the breath of the everlasting soullessness Her lungs and the stench of death Her thirst never will it quench

Afterlife obsession has a nihilistic impression.

Haunted by an invincible blue light, So, there's always those bloodshot eyes.

Let them know she died alone Oh, don’t you know we’ll die alone?

They told us so Don’t be fooled Beauty is pain And if I could escape Let them know I died in the cyclone

SERA AL-REK ABY

In the company’s comfort,

But it only makes you feel more So you drink the sorrow

The Art of Being Graceful

They look like something broke your blood vessels.

The reaper’s hands squeezing around my neck, They look like mine.

I spent all my summers on the floor.

recipes. It’s not until you put the word ‘human’ after the word ‘crumble’ that you see the term being put into the context of human emotion. I wish there were more

into something even more beautiful. What is a human if not the most adaptive, resilient, and beautiful thing while crumbling?

search results for the phrase ‘crumble human’. When I

To crumble is to lose that glow in your eyes, to forget

saw the word crumble, I didn’t think of an apple crumble

your ugly laugh, to forget what your name means to you.

(not that I’ve had one before, but it does look delicious),

I’ve crumbled. And at times, I thought about sweeping

I thought about human beings. Myself, the postman, my

the whole cookie in the bin. Describing this feeling is like

neighbour who just lost a job, my friend whose partner

trying to describe a sunset to a blind person – impossible.

had just passed. The key similarity these people all have

Besides, I know I don’t need to. I know you know the feeling

in common? They goddamn crumble. Every day, countless

I’m referring to. It is lonely. It can feel like you are the only

damn times through their life and they each put it all back

human being in the world designed with the feeling of

together and keep going. Why do we act like human beings

crumbling in your unique palette of emotion.

don’t crumble every day, break and shatter in a million more pieces than any cookie dropped on the kitchen floor?

Maybe the worst thing about this feeling is that it is so intangible, like you’ve lost your arm but you know it's still

But let’s not forget that it is the human being who made

there. There is no way for me to show you the falling apart,

the cookie. It is the human being who mastered the art of

the crumbling, the fragmenting of my soul. All I can do is

crumbling and put it into the cookie.

sit here and feel through it and ache in the same ways my

The human being, however, cannot teach the cookie how

mother once did at 3 am.

to keep going after the fall. To crumble and put oneself

You should know this, though: the glow in your eyes will

back together is exclusively human.

return, the ugly laugh may never be the same, and your

I think sometimes, especially after being hurt, we act as if we are sand sculptures. As if weeks of careful and relentless work have been put into forging us, as if we are so fragile and exquisite to the eye; artefacts to be hidden

38

just like the human being, it can be erected and be made

own name will loosen around your tongue. The crumbling will hurt you. It will make you ache for way too long, but it will never kill you.

So, I say to you friend, if you will crumble – at least do it gracefully.

NON-FICTION

39

Blemish of Innocence 40

PHOTOGRAPHY BY BETH MOORE

41

Hard to Swallow

That night I was woken by the sound of my feeding tube

MADI BLISSET DE WEGER

flatlining. The sheets were soaked and stained with yellow

PHOTOGRAPH BY BETH MOORE

clogging. The machine beeped long like a heartbeat chip sprinkles. My skin was sticky, as if I put my entire body up a Push-Pop and licked it all over. My mouth was dirt-dry, so I padded into the kitchen for a glass of water. Following the path by fingertips running across plaster and toes booting the air for coffee tables and dining room chairs, only fumbling for the light switch when the carpet turned to wood. The fluorescent bar zapped before deciding to stay on.

Dad was leaning over the sink. He grunted when the light came on and busied his hands in the sink. I heard water lapping onto the marble benchtop. I pretended I hadn’t seen him and pulled open the fridge. He called my name, twice.

I asked why was he up, and he grunted. 'What does it look like?' He held up a plate that had remnants of detergent and bolognaise settled on it, like it had been sitting there festering for hours and quickly drizzled with soap.

He asked me what woke me. 'Thirsty.' I felt like I was telling a lie even though that really was what I’d been doing.

'Righto,' he said. He turned away from me again, finishing the conversation. He never did have much to say.

'Well then, I – I better head to bed. Appointment early tomorrow.'

'Yeah, leave at seven,' he said, like he’d never thought about the results that came after the appointment. He didn’t seem worried, which I guess made me feel better. Maybe he didn’t care.

'Oh, and Dad,' I said and he turned around. I got down on my knees, ready to beg. 'Can you please buy me a new fa––'

PHOTOGRAPH BY BETH MOORE

from crying.

My earliest memory of crumbling was at the tender age of three. I was attached at the hip to a pastel yellow stuffed bunny – called Yellow Bunny. I have no idea who gave it

yanked me upwards. He bent over me with his face twisted

to me, but it went with me everywhere. That was until

up like a tree root. Searching me, holding me up, cupping

Yellow Bunny went missing. According to my parents, this

cheeks. 'Madi, tell me where it hurts. What’s wrong?'

was one of the worst weeks of their lives. I screamed and

I stepped backwards, thinking he was tricking me. Only times, one, two, three, and it was a sign. A sign that told me for sure his head was nowhere good.

'I just – I just wanted a fan. A fan in my room.'

42

sense of self, disconnect of body and mind, and raw eyes

But before I could finish, he grabbed my forearm and

tricking me. But his eye twitched and he blinked three

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

Picking Up the Crumbs

ELLA BRUMM

What does it mean to crumble? For me, it involves a shaky

cried to exhaustion each day. My dad retraced the steps of every possible place Yellow Bunny could have gone missing. My parents put up missing poster signs around our neighbourhood, checked lost and found areas every day, and scoured the shops for a replica Yellow Bunny.

But Yellow Bunny was never found. Eventually, I got over

I heard footsteps and Mum stood over us. They looked at

it (at quite an embarrassing age, I must admit). Still, I’ve

each other, and must have passed a mental message back

taken away from that loss the comforting realisation that

and forth. A hand grabbed the palm of my hand and I sat

my parents are willing to sacrifice their time, resources,

against the wall. My mouth tasted funny and I tried to

and (let’s face it) their dignity to put my little yearning

swallow it all down. It didn’t budge.

heart at ease.

NON-FICTION

43

I crumbled again when I turned eleven. I went to the

me after each school day, reaching out to teachers, and

roller drome turned ice-skating rink for my birthday

always being open to listening without judgement. I would

with my mum, sister, and best friend. My sister eagerly

never have finished high school without them.

shuffled over to the rink and began tearing through laps, overtaking the younger children. It was my first time ice-skating – I was nervous but giddy with excitement.

My friend went ahead, clutching the railing with each clumsy step. I followed her. I made it about two meters before my balance gave way, my right skate caught on the edge, and I slammed against the ice chin first.

Recently, I crumbled hearing my Nana had passed. I sobbed uncontrollably for days. The slightest smell, sound, or thought would trigger a tsunami of tears. I’ve never lost a close family member before, and I felt ill-equipped with how to deal with this type of grief. It wasn’t sudden. She was very sick for a long time. The usual feelings that most

Paloma (Stir, Stirring, Stirred)

people experience when they lose someone flooded my

A sudden throbbing ache tore across my body. It was

mind – guilt for not reaching out more, distraught knowing

EM READMAN

nothing I couldn’t handle – until I saw the pool of blood

I would never see her again, and relief to know she was

1.

forming around me, and my friend began to scream. The

no longer in pain. I was heartbroken to see my Grandpop

make them accurate. It’s easy enough to manipulate

I’ve been in Brisbane. I’m sitting in the backyard of

ice-rink overflowed with my screams because I honestly

lose the love of his life. I crumbled each day I woke up and

the meaning. Each morning I lay them all out face

a friend of a friend, making a mental note to bring a

thought I was dying (me, dramatic? I don’t think so). The

remembered Nana was no longer with us. I dreaded the

down, I flip the same card over, week after week. The

jacket next time. Someone is sound-checking their

pain of splitting my chin open wasn’t the devastating part

funeral. I felt nervous in a way I never had before. Anxiety

Hierophant. It’s a card about tradition, paths, and past

guitar on the verandah-turned-stage. A small crowd

– it was feeling like my birthday dissolved into despair,

and grief churned inside me, mixing into distress I have

wisdom, about looking back to go forward. Chalking

is sprawled across the backyard, and I sit next to

doomed to spend the rest of my day in the ER.

never before endured.

it up to coincidence is easier than giving weight to it.

her, we catch up over a few beers. She looks happy

Each time I pull it from the deck I stare at it longer

in the way I want to be sometime soon. She gives me

than I need to, already knowing what it’s trying to say.

a few musician recommendations and they are what

I never know if my tarot card pulls are accurate, or if I

4.

I’ve spent more time with her over west than when

I didn’t get to experience ice skating, and I dreaded the

I knew I couldn’t read my eulogy for Nana without crying.

feeling of my head wrapped in gauze. In the following

I couldn’t bear to confront the feelings and emotions I

weeks, a neat two-centimetre scar on the bottom of my

had been ignoring for so long. When the day came, I was

chin became my show and tell. Despite my mum pinning

a mess and unsure how my Grandpop would cope. He has

sitting at the bench top. We are in their new house,

my arms down so the doctor could stitch my chin up, the

experienced a lifetime of incredibly traumatic moments,

boxes strewn across the rooms. He, my mother, and

scar reminded me that physical pain heals, and I came

near-death experiences, and losses. I thought this would

my sister moved in not long before I arrived. I’ve

through the other side a bit stronger.

be the hardest for him. But I’ve never seen a warmer glow

gotten to know him better since the hard border

on the other side of the country when my landlords

on someone’s face until I saw him beaming at the slide

between their state and mine came down – a chance

call to say they are selling, and the sooner we’re out,

show depicting my Nana’s life. Granted, he didn’t have his

to make up for the lost time. We get onto talking

the better (for them). I feel my sense of security in

hearing aid in, so he gave everyone a perplexed look as they

about his youth, and he tells me about him holding

Brisbane collapsing, my tether to this place eroding

cried, reading out their goodbyes, but nonetheless, I was

the record for the fastest drive between two towns,

in real-time. This breakaway gives space to a pull I

astonished by his strength.

about motorbikes, about his family farm. He tells me

have felt for a long time, a pull that my cards have

about how he’s always been pulled between duty and

been telling me about for longer. There are things that

wanting. I ask how he brought himself to choose what

keep me in this city, but I know there is not enough

he wanted, and he told me the choice is easy when

to make me stay.

Crumbling in high-school was different. There was no sudden trigger, just a painfully traumatic four years during which my self-esteem eroded, and my joy for life withered away with each day I got on that school bus. Until then, I never had an issue forming bonds with people.

2.

I needed to hear, whether she knew that or not. A

My stepfather is making paella in the kitchen, I am

I was a relatively charismatic and interesting person,

It’s the most frustrating advice for someone struggling, but

but with each failed attempt to connect with my peers,

it remains the only thing that has rung true: lean into how

my charisma and interest in life dwindled. I became a

you’re feeling, refrain from pushing your emotions down,

shell of myself. My parents noticed, and it broke my

and trust that time will heal all wounds. Each time I’ve

heart that I wasn’t the once bubbly, smiling little kid they

crumbled throughout my life, I believed I would never get

remembered. Once again, I was reminded of my parents’

over it. But with time, love, and support, I’ve managed to

early afternoon. The limestone buildings shade one

enduring love and support that they so effortlessly doled

scoop up the crumbs and reassemble myself, often feeling

sidewalk and illuminate another, and I cross the street

cautionary strum tells us that the music is about to start, and we settle in.

5.

My sister asks me if I am alright. I say that I will be. I am

you’re willing to make it.

3.

I am walking through the Fremantle city grid in the

out. They prioritised my mental health, paying for and

each time to walk in the sun. A true Queenslander. I

taking me to psychology appointments, checking in with

am alone this afternoon, making my own way through the streets. I slip into a bar, order a Paloma, and sit at the high tops by the window. I feel like I breathe easier here, whether that’s because it’s colder or because I am wholly alone I don’t know. I couldn’t have had a drink alone a year ago, but my own company does not make me feel lonely anymore. I know what it means to be alone. Salt and grapefruit hum together as I sit, I have a fortnight left here.

44

NON-FICTION

45

ARTWORK IZZY HEATON

Running & Baking LUCY HEATHCOTE

Baking is one of the great loves of my life. I’m also terrible at it.

I do not say this modestly.

If you look in my kitchen you will not find a secret stash of perfectly blow-torched crème brûlée or a tray of delightfully crisp cannoli with gooey hazelnut praline piping. One day maybe, but today is not that day.

There are cakes I’ve forgotten to line, biscuits sifted with the wrong flour, and croissants created with margarine instead of butter. But when I’m baking, all my stress seems 6.

7.

Half-empty houses echo in a unique way. Sound

8.

A friend invites me over for dinner by her fire pit. The

travels further than you mean it to when it doesn’t hit

months of rain has long ended the fire ban, and I

couches, curtains, blankets, or tables along the way.

bring over nice wine. We sit out on the grass. I’ve

The echo makes me think there are more people in

known this home since I was little, it is a home in

the house than just me, waiting for the end of a lease,

and of itself. I lived here once, when I was between

the start of something else. The start of, hopefully,

houses. It is a soft place to land. I’m here, again, on

something better. I am packing my art pieces into

the precipice, the bushland of outer Brisbane brings

tube mailers late at night, and the empty walls make

me a clarity I don’t know if I will be able to replicate

for a stark reminder of how I made this place home.

in a new city. I leave in a few weeks and I know it is

I cry, and the echo carries. I remind myself that it

what I am stretching out for. A new path, following

is alright to be sad after making the right decision.

what is now a tradition in my family, to move over

I do the grocery shopping while two wines in after a literary salon. The supermarket is dead as I wander through, picking up things that I’ll be able to get through before we move. Sparkling water, a block of cheese, soup, bread rolls, oyster mushrooms. I put the coffee beans back when I remember my housemate has already taken their machine to their new house.

west in a time of great change. My friend talks for a long time about bravery, about choosing what you deserve, about how feeling half-doomed comes with

to evaporate in the oven. Occasionally, I even have an edible success.

Growing up, food to me was like sex to teenage boys. I craved it, I loved it, and I wanted more. I mean, there were definitely some awkward moments, but mostly I had a pretty healthy relationship with it.

I grew up with a family obsessed with food.

My mum is an experimental cook. Sure, she can whip up a classic chocolate cake for birthdays if forced, but it’s more likely to be an almond apple-cake (that’s actually a banana and dried walnut extravaganza with some hidden zucchini in it). There were no Coles mud cakes in our house.

borderline alcoholic, or lived off a diet of Nando's and weed.

But still, it never occurred to me to change my relationship with food. I loved eating, I didn’t mind who I was, and I swam laps several times a week to keep active.

But in 2020, with my uni work online, I went to stay with my parents in the country town where I grew up. While it was lovely to see my folks, I spent most of my time doing online classes all day every day. Two weeks in I was bored,

a freedom that you cannot get ahold of any other way.

I inherited my lack of interest in properly following recipes

restless, and sick of tuna stir-fries. However, it occurred

I feel my chin wobble, feel myself come apart at the

from her. I’d substitute ingredients, adjust measurements,

to me that this was the perfect time to pick up a hobby.

seams, preparing to put myself back together. I feel

and change the cooking times when I realised halfway

myself starting to stir.

down the page that I needed to have prepared the dish the night before. Nothing ever turned out particularly edible,

In a few weeks, everything will be different. I am

but there were never tears. It was like therapy to me.

excited and scared at the same time, mourning and reviving over and over in the self-checkout line.

Why not just follow a recipe? I do I suppose. Loosely. But I enjoy myself more when I’m not constrained to a particular method.

My dad cooks for fuel. To this day, leftover tuna stir-fries haunt my dreams, as does the consistent promise of lamb This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

chops three nights a week. Similarly, my brothers live on a diet of pasta, protein powder, and chicken.

This hobby needed to have certain qualities: 1.

It would keep my mind and body occupied.

2.

It would be free.

3.

I could do it on my parents’ property.

Ultimately my options were running, masturbating, or playing with the dog.

I went with running.

Running was one of the great hates of my life. Like baking I was also terrible at it. Not exactly sure why I hated it so

Furthermore, I grew up on a farm- food was everywhere.

much, but the whole thing just felt like death.

We're an active family, and the possible downfalls of eating

Over the years I’ve successfully avoided cross-country

didn’t occur to me until after I’d left home, taken several

days, any gym classes involving cardio, and numerous fun

gap years, and found my way to drama school. Suddenly,

runs by telling people ‘I’m more of a sprinter’.

everyone around me had either an eating disorder, was

46

MEMOIR

47

To ensure I stuck to it, I decided I would run every day. It didn’t have to be very far, just the length of my parents’ 1km driveway. But I had to do it daily. Turns out it was fucking horrendous, and I still hated running. But I also

The dish came out of the oven.

'It looks great, but baking isn’t my thing anymore,' I told my mum.

hated Zoom, so I kept doing it to keep myself away from

The next day I tried to bake cookies. They failed brilliantly,

that hellhole.

but there was a certain satisfaction with the process. And

My daily running routine lasted for three months, and when I returned to Brisbane it kept going. By this point, running was a necessary ritual for me and I started to enjoy

so, I gradually but cautiously began to embrace baking again. A cake one week, some scrolls the next, even some underwhelming pizza dough came out of the woodwork.

it. I increased my distance, occasionally overtook people in

I still crave running (walking just doesn’t cut it), but I’m

the park and was finally feeling some endorphins.

gradually getting better at balancing food and exercise.

I also began listening to running podcasts: what were the best clothes to wear for running, when is the ideal time to run, what should a runner eat?

Six months later I was still running. Running had kept me happy and purposeful. I’d fully abandoned baking, lost

They may feel opposed, but for me they feed into each other.

I’m terrible at them, I’m addicted to them, I love them, I hate them.

I just need to work on having them in moderation.

weight, and started making plans to run a marathon. I lost interest in food, but I was also more obsessed with it than ever.

How would my poached egg on multigrain toast affect my performance?

Should my protein intake be higher?

Where could I cut back?

Book Review: Henry Hamlet’s Heart By Rhiannon Wilde - A Mosaic Of Obviousness ASHTON DARRACOTT

My love affair with running lasted over a year. Eventually, I ran so much that I got injured.

My physio banned me from running, kindly told me I was

Set in one (pick any) of Brisbane’s suburbs, grade 12 student

to offer the reader once they have turned the final page.

an idiot, and gave me stretches instead. I lost my routine,

Henry, feet dangling over the edge of the rest of his life,

You know how the story ends before it even starts due to

endorphins, and control.

falls in love with his best friend, Len. Post-drunken dare

the trope and the predictability of the plot.

I was pissed off and in denial. I angrily deleted Strava, started sleeping in, and refused to hear anything about the athletics events at the Tokyo Olympics. I wasn’t interested in walking, didn’t want to take up other forms of exercise, and avoided the gym for temptation of using the treadmill.

I’d ditched baking, ruined running, and was now alone with no hobbies, dodgy knees, and an eating disorder.

At Christmas I went to my parent's property. I sat around complaining, eating whatever I wanted, and being a miserable little shit. My mum was in full holiday baking mode (Pavlova! Brandy Pudding! Shortbread!) and sick of my whinging, encouraged me to join in.

at a house party, Henry must navigate his intensifying feelings for Len against the backdrop of the Australian high school experience of dramatic English monologues, school assemblies, and the anxiety of trying to decide what to do with the rest of his life. However, as much as this book captures the angst of high school crushes, it loses its credibility when it fails to develop its characters or its setting in any meaningful or complex way.

a sense of nostalgia in the reader for high school. In reality, the effect of this book is one of visceral relief: a feeling of being immensely, palpably grateful about not having to endure high school anymore, and no longer having to live through the ferocious, hormonal, all-consuming, self-censoring kind of crush on a person that Henry has on Len. And beyond this, reading about Henry doing an

This book’s premise rests on the nerdy-protagonist-and-

English monologue assignment after studying The Great

super-hot-charming-everyone-wants-to-be-them-best-

Gatsby likely isn’t interesting for Australian high school

friend trope that many addictive but ultimately vacuous

students who had very probably already done that exact

love stories use to prop themselves up. The book is full

same assignment themselves.

of the kind of sexual tension and character tropes that

I tentatively stirred saucepans, beat eggs, and chopped

the novel reads as if it could have easily been a re-worked

ingredients. There was a nice rhythm to it, but it’s not

alternate-universe fanfiction that first appeared on

like running. There are no endorphins like there are with

Wattpad or Archive of Our Own (see: Fifty Shades of Grey,

exercise – if you think there are, it’s probably sugar.

After). While this type of fiction is no less valuable to the literary canon, Henry Hamlet’s Heart has nothing lasting

48

One gets a sense that the wider aim of the book is to foster

The dialogue between characters also feels unnatural and obvious at points, and the supporting characters are not fleshed out any more than what they offer to the main storyline: supporting the narrative between Henry and Len. Len’s worryingly verbally and emotionally abusive,

BOOK REVIEW

49

and physically threatening father seems to be planted for

If a fresh, provocative, and novel story about gay romance

It was my favourite piece on show, easily. They even

the sake of the plot, rather than an important theme that

is something that readers are after, it’s not in this book.

synced up the lights on the replica to match the colours

Wilde wanted to explore in its own right. It exists to make

It would make a great beach read, airport layover read,

and patterns of the actual Story Bridge just down the

Len’s otherwise picture-perfect life look more ‘down-to-

or simply binge in a day on the couch doing nothing.

river. The successful final outcome of the work suggests

earth’ when really, the characterisation depicts family

But if readers are looking to get the gay romance effect

a lot of thought and effort put into it. But after moving on

violence in its most insidious form: right in front of you,

that this book is going for, they’re better off plonking

from A Simple Story, my evening became slightly more

loud and clear. In 2021, using domestic violence as a plot

down on the couch and watching Heartstopper or Love

lacklustre. However this was in no small part contributed

device feels unacceptable.

Simon on Netflix. The angst of an overwhelming crush

to my overpriced Starbucks Frappuccino – a silly choice

on a best friend will resonate with many readers, but if

in the cold weather.

Details throughout the book seem to have been warped so that they fit the plot, despite not being realistic. How has Henry turned eighteen in the January of his year twelve year in 2008? Something about two old gay women having

new generations of Queensland writers are looking for a

The typical questions came to mind. What even is art? (Yes

contemporary Brisbane book to study the craft of writing

I did just do an entire degree on this question). I wondered

from, it’s not Henry Hamlet’s Heart.

to myself, if I were to simply make something glow in the

a priest officiate their ‘marriage’ (it’s not real as it’s 2008 after all) because one of the two women has ‘dirt’ on the priest (society at large is becoming quite aware of the atrocious ‘dirt’ that priests might be covering up) leaves a sour taste in the mouth. Tokenistic references to MySpace, Metro Station’s Shake It and the Tumblr emo side fringe

dark, do I have something ground-breaking on my hands?

website. For more information, or to register your interest

Some of the concepts and their outcomes at this year’s

to review, visit our website for more information.

Botanica reminded me of the train of thoughts of a high-

late 2000s.

Personally, I rejoiced when I saw a contemporary book set in Queensland’s capital. There is a vast body of literature that brings Brisbane to life in its relatively short history. the setting, nor allowed Brisbane to become a character in its own right, while leaning so heavily on vague yet obvious references to places. For example, after Henry and his friends graduate, they go to an unnamed bridge that people can live in, but never names this as the Walter Taylor Bridge joining Chelmer and Indooroopilly. I can find no reason why Wilde shies away from adding hard details into her setting, but it speaks to a wider trend in her writing of superficiality, almost an evasion of committing fully to her characters and setting.

contribution, whose work is it really?

up with new release titles to review and publish on our

are the only points that might direct us to a setting in the

But I was sorely let down when Wilde never dove into

My answer: no. If an artwork is based purely on audience

Glass Media pairs young QUT writers, readers, and critics

Art in Review: Botanica 2022 SAM HOPE

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

Crowds were heaving on the final Friday night of Botanica.

Of course, it was busy – it only runs for nine days, and

school visual arts student. It’s not that these ideas were bad, they just felt underdeveloped, and could certainly have been pushed further. I had an internal battle with myself the entire time walking between the works on display because after studying a Bachelor of Arts for three years I have been taught to analyse works and criticise them in an academic light. But as an artist and art lover, I was just underwhelmed.

the first three (at least) were wet and miserable, as yet

When I saw applications open seeking artworks for this

more 'unseasonal' rain fell. Paths were filled with families,

exhibition, I felt as though I need not apply, it felt out of

couples, and friends. Children ran around manically, some

reach. But on attending, I feel I let myself down by not

frighteningly close to the local possums. An enormous line

applying.

slithered down the main path of the city botanic gardens to see the neon night garden of luminescent, crochet fungi. Even when I came back later in the evening this line remained ludicrous, so I had a peek as I walked by instead.

It’s safe to say it was not a typical relaxing night in the gardens looking at art.

Of course, it was still a festive, enjoyable evening.

Celebrating art in Brisbane while spending a night walking around the gardens with friends or family is undeniably a genuinely lovely time. This is only my second time attending Botanica, and maybe my expectations weren’t correctly aligned. However, both years I have felt

The highlight of the event was A Simple Story by Sam

intrigued by a few works and indifferent to all others. I look

Cranstoun (let’s hear it for the Sam’s of the art world!) –

forward to attending again in 2023 and hope to be proved

a downsized replica of the story bridge, half-submerged

completely wrong with conceptually stronger works.

in a pond. Upon seeing this, I (and probably many others) jumped to the assumption that this was a commentary on the recent floods in Brisbane. And we were all wrong, sort of. This artwork not only addresses the recent Brisbane floods but is in fact begging us to think about climate change as a whole. It asks us to rethink our relationship with nature, our built environment, and the idea of nature reclaiming our cities. Unfortunately, I think for some viewers the effect was more, ‘Oooh! Look, what a pretty

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

bridge! Oh, it’s the Story Bridge!’

50

ART REVIEW

51

ARTWORK IZZY HEATON

and Japanese-Korean Sign Language, and even a quick

eel – because in orgasmic trance last night, straddled atop

reader like Lachlan needed the occasional 'remember,

him on the sofa, on the anniversary of their daughter’s

that’s a reference to when…'

death, Oto told him the dream-story of a teenage schoolgirl

But the film has a reputation for not being for everyone, This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

which is obvious from the beginning.

Weird sex, that hallmark Murakami-ism.

Moreso, intimacy held askew with some instant feeling of imbalance or unease. Sunlight crowns the head, and darkly

Yusuke leaves, and spends the next week in the airport

another Murakami adaptation, by contrasting these

hotel, Skyping Oto about how great the theatre scene in

super close-ups with shots of generous negative space,

Finland is.

forms light takes and portrays. Drive My Car’s beginning evokes Burning’s “sunset dance” scene – its voyeurism, only knowing characters through stories they tell, left wondering who else they could be. Even without plot

today I want to see a movie, and we all should know by now that movies make awful first dates. It’s a stationary road-trip, side by side, the sun beginning to rise – a bright world ahead with shadows behind, with a total stranger.

elements, ethereal moments like these stand out as

even with all their additional mechanics. Still, as certifiably good as Drive My Car must be, taking home 2022’s Academy Award for International Film, how watchable is it for a general audience? While it’s a scenic journey for dedicated literary fans, is it for anyone else? So, with a nigh-empty theatre and three hours’ worth of awkward

A movie is an awful first date, especially when it’s the three-

silences to explain to baffled Lachlan – and now you, in

hour long journey of a Japanese stage-actor grappling with

the backseat – we’ll pop the hood and see how it purrs.

the loss of his wife. But I’m not entirely alone. I invited a friend. Lachlan had nothing to do for Valentine’s too.

And I am desperate to see director Ryusuke Hamaguchi’s Drive My Car (2021), a film adaptation of Haruki Murakami’s short story of the same name. It’s a real custom job, converting another of Murakami’s, Scheherazade, to expand on character, plot and themes. Both stories have been lifted from his 2017 (for English translation) short story collection, Men Without Women.

***

delicately crafted for anyone to see.

Using another short story to complete Oto Kafuku’s part, and prologue the whole narrative, was an excellent choice.

Though it takes half an hour before title cards even roll, it offsets Murakami’s habit of leaving female characters by the side of the road. Repurposing Scherezade gives more respect to Oto with a richer backstory, a tangible relationship, and even more weird sex. Like I said, there is a dry and ponderous plain to cross with reading Murakami, but with screenplay this switches gears to the hilariously awkward. My favourite example:

Drive My Car follows Yusuke Kafuku (Hidetoshi Nishijima),

A jazz record mumbles in the background of the couple’s

an ageing stage actor specialising in multi-lingual

apartment.

performances, but you aren’t told this in any convenient way. Similar to a short story, there’s no introductory scene to formally present himself as the protagonist or deliver his backstory as a speech. Simply, he moves, and the camera follows. Like coarse Yusuke’s attitude to his new driver, Misaki Watari (Toko Miura), it is a film that asks you to keep

I look at Lachlan, at the vacant seats around me and him.

both hands on the wheel and pay immediate attention. You

Irony is never lost.

aren’t told a lot and are shown just enough, not a quality for

He catches her in the hallway mirror, mounting a younger man on their sofa like that night not long before. And

camera catches sunbeams, lens flares, blurs in motion, the

we don’t want to set too romantic a precedent. Besides,

surprise Oto. He takes a quiet step into their apartment.

inspiration from Lee Chang-Dong’s Burning (2018),

are few and far between. Brightness comes only as the

we’ll dub “Murakami-isms” – in transport to the screen,

When Yusuke’s overseas trip is cancelled, he taxis home to

Cinematographer Hidetoshi Shinomiya may have taken

colour, like Yusuke’s brash cherry-red Saab 900 Turbo,

My Tinder first date was postponed to later in the week;

I looked to Lachlan – and he to me.

cheating.

both lingering past comfortable welcomes. Pops of

And neither are these stories’ narrative idiosyncrasies –

get going.’

Then a few minutes later we found out that Oto was

the short story ‘Scheherazade.’

It is Valentine’s Day, and I am alone.

‘Actually, I-’ Yusuke frowns, closes his laptop. ‘I have to

as she props herself up in bed. This first shot holds her speaking to you, not her husband, of her dream last night,

WRITTEN BY RORY HAWKINS

she had been a lamprey.

masks the face of Yusuke’s wife, Oto (Reika Kirishima), silhouette close as she monologues, so close that she is

Film Review: Drive My Car

recounting, mid-masturbation herself, how in another life

Sometimes you just have to laugh, and laugh we did. Just as well theatres are near-empty on Valentines. In all of three hours, I don’t remember any moment of deliberate levity in Drive My Car. Hamaguchi makes no attempt at comedy with this film. It’s a rare thing to appreciate. Jokes can fall short or muddy the tone but, in this case, they’d simply halt the viewer from paving their own sense of humour over any number of earnest but eccentric scenarios. This might be obvious already, but I believe it’s your own sense of irony that will always work best to make something funny.

Still, Drive My Car has a confident tone, never steering off its course. In the space after Oto’s sudden death, Yusuke moves through his grief and the aftermath of the complex relationship he had with his wife. No matter where he goes, time in his little red Saab ekes by: time driving in silent understanding with Misaki; time confronted by his wife’s last affair, Koji (Masaki Okada) over who really knew her; time stagnant with Oto through the tape recordings she once handmade for him. Of course, we catch only the most poignant lines of Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya: ‘You understand that the world is not destroyed by villains and conflagrations,’ Oto recites, ‘but by hate and malice

Oto traces a hand on Yusuke’s desk. ‘What are you up to,

and all these petty squabbles.’ Her voice travels across

honey?’

years. She remains in their home, seated at the table.

‘Nothing,’ he says.

He’s not doing nothing. He’s watching YouTube.

He’s watching YouTube videos about lamprey – a parasitic

Sunlight crowns her head and darkly masks her face. ‘It's your duty to make peace, and not to growl at everything.’

‘Then help me first,’ recites Yusuke. ‘To make peace with myself.’

everyone to enjoy. Add in subtitles for Japanese, Korean,

52

FILM REVIEW

53

Greenslide: Greens Vote Swells in Queensland, While Major Parties Lose Ground TOM LOUDON

The 2022 Australian Federal Election saw the success for

'We've been able to build on victories at the local and

While Labor has now formed a majority government in

'We've never seen anything like that before from the

the new, Anthony Albanese-led Labor Government, the

state level, forming deep connections with communities,

the House of Representatives, a record twelve Greens

Greens, and it's a combination of sustained community

rise of "teal independents", and a backpedalling for the

listening to their issues and proposing and delivering real

senators will ensure Labor must work with the Greens to

involvement … but also learning how to campaign in a data-

major parties in Queensland.

solutions.'

pass legislation.

driven way.'

The Liberal National Party, amid nationwide losses, ceded

'The Australian people have been abandoned by the old

'Labor and the Liberals' vote went down, ours went up,'

'The Greens have quite a machine, I think … and it's

two Queensland seats, while Labor's nine-seat national

parties, and they're justifiably pissed off.'

Bates said.

starting to pay off.'

'People wanted change, they wanted a positive vision, and

'We have a clear mandate.'

Dr Mols says it is unpopular governments who lose

gain was hampered in Queensland by Terri Butler's loss in Griffith. The winner of these three Queensland seats; the Greens.

But Greens Councilor for the Gabba Ward, Johnathan Sri, didn't see the "teal-wave" and "Greenslide" coinciding

the Greens were able to provide that.'

After emigrating to Yeppoon as a child, the UK native moved to Brisbane about a decade ago.

But experts don't agree entirely with Mr Bates.

Dr Frank Mols is a senior lecturer of Political Science and International Studies at the University of Queensland,

elections more than popular oppositions who win them.

'There was a fatigue with the Morrison government and the Labor governments in different states,' Dr Mols said.

with a general disillusionment with the major parties. Sri,

'I've been living and working here in Brisbane for a decade,

who specialises in political psychology, studying voter

'The Greens' wins in Queensland have a teal wind in their

irritated by southern experts' analysis of the Queensland

which means I know how tough things are for young

attitudes.

sails.'

election results, sees this explanation as naive.

people,' Bates said.

Dr Mol's field of interest also extends, tepidly, into

To Mols, left and right, and poor and wealthy, aren't helpful

'Many of these explanations (particularly from major party

'Wages are flat, rent is out of control and essential health

partisanship. Originally from the Netherlands, Dr Mols

groupings for voting blocs.

supporters) are hilariously simplistic, maybe because some

services – like getting your teeth fixed – are out of reach

became a member of the Australian Democrats last year

people are trying to convince themselves that there's an

for most.'

and was involved in their small campaign in Queensland.

But Bates hastens to note that the Greens vote went up

Seeing a combination of Green's campaigning and political

a category that is not committed, is actually far more

state-wide, not just in their new seats of Brisbane, Ryan,

distrust, Dr Mols believes the reason for Green's growth in

mobilisable in all sorts of ways than we expected.'

'They sound more like wishful thinking than robust

and Griffith. The party's second Queensland senator,

Queensland is multi-faceted.

analysis.'

Penny Allman-Payne, will be based in Gladstone, central

easy, straightforward way to counteract what's happened,' Sri said in a statement after the election.

The seat of Brisbane – home to both QUT campuses – was

Queensland.

one of the three Greens wins, taken from Liberal National

'I'm hopeful that this election was the death knell for

member Trevor Evans by Stephen Bates. To Bates, his win

two-party politics in Australia,' Bates said.

was no accident.

'Obviously, the Teals are a very different political project

'The success of the Greens in Queensland is the product of

to the Greens, but the fact that they were able to so

a clear strategy and years of dedicated work by thousands

successfully leverage discontent in the electorate to me

of volunteers across the state,' Bates said to Glass.

signals that there has been a fundamental shift away from the status quo and the embracing of a new style of politics.'

'Populist voters are a motley crew and certainly not less well-off than mainstream voters. A centrist, that is

'Stereotypes are pedalled around all the time that the

'We always have to be careful with what parties and leaders

losers of globalisation are Trump voters, and poor people

tell you they've done and what they've actually done,' Mols

are Trump voters, and so on.'

said.

'These are reductionist explanations that locate social

'As a researcher, you have to be mindful that self-reported

phenomena in different people in the electorate. But

answers to questions are not usually the best answers.'

explaining people's partisanship doesn't always work

'The Greens are quite clever marketing people and are

exactly like that.'

quite clever in the way of micro-targeting and using data.

Compare that to ten years ago when [the Greens] was just an idea, and people campaigned to the best of their ability.'

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

54

NON-FICTION

55

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

Will Smith, Roman Polanski, and the moral corrosion that because I see his actions as acceptable, but because I

synecdoche “Hollywood” is derived from a singular, elite neighbourhood in one of the most expensive cities in the world. A 20-minute drive downtown and you find Skid Row, the permanent home of nearly 10,000 homeless people.

thought the Academy would. The celebrity elite being held accountable for flagrant abuse is devastatingly new, younger than most Gen-Zs. *** Not enough is written about the case of Roman Polanski,

behaviour to those outside their bubble. But, even in the changing landscape of film distribution, various paths to the top – and different definitions of what “the top” is – haven’t effectively challenged the cultural dominance of Hollywood in the

a convicted sex offender, the community rallied behind Polanski and enabled him to continue working and abusing in their industry. Eight women have accused Polanski of sexual misconduct in the years after his extradition.

American screenwriter and director (and alleged comedian) Woody Allen has also been nominated for three Oscars after it became known that he was engaged in a relationship with his underage, adopted daughter.

American actor Kevin Spacey, also an Oscar winner, has faced more than fifteen accusations of sexual harassment.

Unlike all these men, Will Smith has been banned from the Academy Award ceremony.

At one stage, it seemed likely that Polanski would be

So, in the bubble of Hollywood, what makes Will Smith’s

extradited to the United States to answer for his crimes,

crime so much worse? The fact it was at the ceremony?

both convicted and alleged. In 2009 Polanski, then aged 76,

Maybe the fact his actions were broadcast and impossible

was placed under house arrest in a Swiss chalet to await

to look away from? Will this sacrificial lamb hold the

extradition to the United States. The director had travelled

Academy in good stead with audiences in the future? It's

to Switzerland to accept a lifetime achievement award at

important to note that of all these people, Will Smith is

the Zurich Film Festival.

the only Black man, and the role of racism in Hollywood's selective policing should be an entire article itself.

the Polish-French Director who survived the Holocaust

Again, Polanski’s community rallied around him.

and went on to win an Oscar, two Golden Globes, two

Filmmakers, actors, and producers worldwide signed a

It’s never too late to do the right thing. Nothing is stopping

petition urging his immediate release, reading as follows;

the Academy from banning Roman Polanski.

It’s not surprising then that Hollywood celebrities BAFTAs, the Palme d’Or, and a Ceasar. often find themselves outside the realm of permissible

years since his conviction. Far from refusing to work with

The Polanski Petition

TOM LOUDON

of the most insular communities in the world. Even the

Festival.

incredible 12 nominations) have all come to Polanski in the

Your Favourite Movies are Made by Bad People For all its circumstance and glamour, Hollywood is one

the French Film Academy (Cesars) and the Cannes Film

three Golden Globe nominations (including a win), a BAFTA Award, a Palme d’Or, and nine Cesar awards (from an

CONTENT WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS REFERENCES TO SEXUAL ASSAULT AND MISCONDUCT.

keeps Hollywood alive

Three of his Oscar nominations (including his sole win),

Rosemary’s Baby (1968), Macbeth (1971), and Chinatown

‘Filmmakers in France, in Europe, in the United States

The ‘Polanski Petition’ was signed by, among others:

(1974) were the films that secured Polanski’s cult status

and around the world are dismayed by [his arrest].

Woody Allen, Wes Anderson, Darren Aronofsky, Monica

as one of the greatest living filmmakers. But his wreath

It seems inadmissible to them that an international

Bellucci, Adrien Brody, Robert Cohen, Alfonso Cuaron,

of bourgeoise-Hollywood credibility isn’t the

cultural event, paying homage to one of the greatest

Guillermo del Toro, Terry Gilliam, Alejandro Gonzalez

part of Polanski’s life that is underreported.

contemporary filmmakers, is used by police to

Inarritu, Wong Kar Waï, John Landis, David Lynch, Michael

apprehend him.

Mann, Martin Scorsese, and Tilda Swinton.

film industry, a dominance personified

In 1977, Polanski was arrested for

by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts

the drugging, rape, and sodomy of a

‘His arrest follows an American arrest warrant dating

Polanski has been or continues to be, supported by:

and Sciences.

thirteen-year-old girl entrusted in his

from 1978 against the filmmaker, in a case of morals.

Johnny Depp, Whoopi Goldberg, Meryl Streep, Stellan

But their stranglehold has weakened.

All-time low rates of viewership of the Oscars have plagued the Academy in recent years, and cheesy jokes, presenters who are decades out of popularity, and general tone-deafness still tear at the credibility of the Oscars. Yet, Hollywood personalities still buy-in, redeeming the credibility of the 1% and further Hollywood from the real world.

care. So dire were the circumstances, even a 1970s court seemed likely to give Polanski serious time, resulting in a plea deal that he believed would secure his freedom. He pleaded guilty

expressed regret include: Asia Argento, Xavier Dolan,

certain States opposed this.

Natalie Portman, Quentin Tarantino, Emma Thompson, and Kate Winslet.

a minor and was convicted, but Polanski

where he assumed he could travel without hindrance,

Polanski’s films remain available in Australia to rent

fled the United States upon learning that

undermines this tradition: it opens the way for actions

or stream on: AMC+, Amazon Prime, Apple TV, Crackle,

the judge presiding would not accept his

of which no one can know the effects.

The Criterion Channel, HBO, Hulu, Kanopy, Netflix,

plea deal. In the years that followed, multiple other women came forward alleging assault,

Academy banned Will

original complainant eventually secured a civil

Smith after his

settlement in the 1990s.

Rock. Not

Previous supporters of Polanski who have since publicly

filmmakers to present them freely and safely, even when

‘The arrest of Roman Polanski in a neutral country,

often as children, at the hands of Polanski. The

slap of Chris

Skarsgård, and Harvey Weinstein.

over have always permitted works to be shown and for

to the lesser charge of unlawful sex with

So, it is surprising that the

now-infamous

‘By their extraterritorial nature, film festivals the world

This should have been the end of Polanski, doomed only to wander around Poland, France, and Switzerland as he avoids U.S

‘Roman Polanski is a French citizen, a renown

Paramount+, SBS, Tubi, and Stan, among others.

and international artist now facing extradition.

This extradition, if it takes place, will be heavy in consequences and will take away his freedom.

‘Filmmakers, actors, producers and technicians — everyone involved in international filmmaking — want him to know that he has their support and friendship.’

extradition for the remainder of his life.

In true Hollywood style, the petition was signed by

But Polanski had already bought in, and

Polanski’s contemporaries; Woody Allen, Quentin

Hollywood had bought into him too.

Tarantino, David Lynch, Martin Scorsese, Tilda Swinton,

*A full list of people who signed the Polanski Petition* (www.altfg.com/film/petition-for-roman-polanski-signatories/ )

and Guillermo del Toro, among many more, as well as

56

NON-FICTION

57

Labor's Transphobia Problem AMY SARGEANT

On May 21st voters defied electoral pollsters yet again, delivering an unprecedented federal election result. A slew of independents and Greens are heading to Canberra, and

Also in 2019, Albanese gave the finger to protesters begging

No Self ID in QLD requested he do so three days prior. The

Labor to fight against the Religious Discrimination Bill …

group, who are currently plastering women’s bathrooms in

at Mardi Gras. He watched as former UNSW SRC President

Queensland with transphobic stickers and brochures, put

and Young Labor member Zack Solomon hit a woman

out the call, and he used the exact wording they asked for.

across the face with a pride flag.

We were watching in my house, and this moment elicited

On the receiving end is Shovan Bhattarai, then UNSW

gasps, then tears.

Education Officer, who said: ‘Albanese felt safe, protected

In the wake of the 2022 federal election result, small-L

by his cronies. Enjoy the feeling while it lasts - there’s a

liberal commentators have sought to frame unprecedented

radical LGBTQI movement that won’t stop fighting until

swings towards independents and the Greens as the result

we have full liberation.’

of perceived climate inaction from the major parties. I

In 2020, Labor dumped previously announced federally funded gender clinics in each state. The role of LGBTQI Commissioner was also dumped. The National LGBTQI Health and Inclusion Strategy was also dumped from their plan, to the dismay of community advocates.

think that is absolutely part of the story, but there is much more to talk about. In Queensland, Labor did not pick up a single seat – in fact, they lost one to the Greens in Griffith. Meanwhile, Greens candidates unseated Coalition members in the seats of Ryan and Brisbane. In other states, progressive candidates were equally more effective in

Labor has won enough seats to form a majority government

In 2021, 40 references to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender,

fighting Tories. Evidently, ambitious and progressive

in the house. It is an optimistic time, one where queer

intersex and queer rights were stripped from Labor’s

platforms have appeal.

allies may overlook some underlying issues that have not

updated policy platform going into the federal election.

been addressed.

This included desperately needed reforms to prevent

Many political parties in the West are struggling with transphobia in their ranks. The Greens, despite having fantastic policies on offer for trans and gender diverse people, are not immune. In March this year, Victorian Greens Councillor Rohan Leppert came under fire after his history of backing the TERF hate movement was uncovered. The difference is, it seems to me that this

coercive medical interventions on intersex babies. It also included dropping a plan to end out of pocket costs for trans healthcare – something that would shift the stratosphere of trans experiences in Australia and save lives. Meanwhile, the Greens made medicare cover for trans healthcare a key component of their LGBT+ policy platform.

Western electoral politics should not be treated like a team sport. So often, rusted on Labor supporters rush to excuse bigotry from ‘their team’ rather than openly condemn it.

For trans people, this shows that you care more about a political party than our lives. Remember, you cannot waste your vote. Use your voice on the streets and at the ballot box to stand up for our most vulnerable, whether it be trans people, refugees, First Nations people, or the next generation. This means preferencing truly progressive

instance is an outlier compared to Greens candidates

In 2022, Labor voted with the Government to introduce

candidates above those who align with bigots. Voting can’t

across the country. In April, Greens leader Adam Bandt

the Religious Discrimination Bill – while simultaneously

be the extent of our action toward liberation for oppressed

made an impassioned speech about protecting the trans

claiming they had ‘saved’ queer people by introducing new

groups, but it’s one small and important gesture we should

community at the National Press Club. The same cannot

laws which supposedly protect us. This is not the case

continue to think carefully about. It’s time to change.

be said for the major parties.

– under Labor’s proposed protections, schools can still

We’re all aware of the Coalition’s atrocious record on trans issues. The former Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, is a horrendous transphobe who platforms anti-trans campaigners and openly suggests trans people are

exclude queer students because they are different, doctors can refuse to treat trans patients for religious reasons, and a lecturer can refuse to use a student’s pronouns. Trans teachers are at huge risk under Labor’s plan – it is dire.

illegitimate human beings – a minority playing dress ups.

As the year wore on, Albanese continued this pattern. In

Among queer people and allies, the Coalition’s history on

a wide spanning profile in The Monthly, he paraphrased

these matters is widely understood. What is less discussed,

J.K. Rowling on trans issues, stating that we should not

particularly among allies, is the Labor Party’s analogous

‘seek to impose’ our pronouns. In an interview with Joe

problems.

Hildebrand, Albanese stated that men cannot have babies –

Labor leader and now Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has a shocking history of transphobic actions and comments. In 2019, Labor stripped all reference to queer people from its policy platform. What is left are a handful

despite trans men having children every week in Australia.

Speaking to trans kids playing school sport, he echoed the Prime Minister, stating that ‘Girls should be able to play sport against girls.’

of open statements about inclusion, but no policy. There

It all culminated in the bombshell moment during the

are open statements about “consulting with relevant

second leaders’ debate, where Albanese verbalised the

communities” where there once were promises for change.

preeminent TERF dog-whistle live on air, after hate group ARTWORK BY ANNE KELLEY

58

NON-FICTION

59

Sun returned a positive test for the banned substance

‘If [an athlete] suffer[s] from asthma, high blood pressure,

Trimetazidine in 2014, and was handed a back-dated three

or cardiac arrhythmia, sport places their bodies under

month ban by the Chinese Swimming Association (the

unique stresses, which raises the likelihood of a chronic

Chinese FINA affiliate body) that didn’t restrict his entry

or catastrophic harm.

to any international events. This is incredibly inconsistent when compared to Fraser-Holmes' twelve-month ban, received without a single positive test.

Pertinently however, the drug was prescribed to Sun by a doctor six years prior to treat heart palpitations. The drug had only been banned a few months before Sun’s positive test; a fact Sun maintains he was not alerted to. Today, Sun continues to use the drug with a medical exemption, as it is not considered by sporting authorities to be performanceenhancing when used outside of competition.

The Culture of Drug Prohibition in Sport

four months of hearings, deliberations, and tantrums in the

vilification in sports is properly examined. Because not

Swiss town of Montreux, and formally designated Sun as a

only is it unhealthy – it’s deadly.

drug cheat. Two years on, the ripple-effect of this decision carves a problematic precedent when it comes to drug use in sport.

Though not widely known, FINA (the global body governing aquatic sports including swimming, diving, and water polo) has until recently been one of the most successful sporting

In many instances, experimental or therapeutic drugs publicly available to anyone in many countries are not

shoulder reconstruction, Earl was banned by the NRL for four years. This was despite his drug treatment not specifically influencing his performance outside recovery and ASADA dropping their probe into Earl.

In many ways, the quest for superhuman performance at any cost dehumanises athletes, and puts them in avoidable

medication, his death serves as a reminder that even elite

physical danger.

Why Sun? Sun Yang has become a particularly popular villain in swimming – other positive drug tests haven’t seemed to draw the same ire as Sun’s, and Mack Horton’s silence after

In any practical sense, most sports analysts and journalists

his Australian teammate Shayna Jack’s positive test in 2019,

tend to agree that the goal of cleaning up sport is not

was not lost on fans of the Chinese star.

attainable. Widespread, unregulated use of performance enhancing drugs has been a concern for sporting governing bodies for decades, and has not gone away.

But while the discussion over the legalisation of sports doping is ongoing and complex, performance-enhancing drugs remain prohibited by the World Anti-Doping

South African swimmer Chad le Clos sensationally accused Sun of being ‘dirty’ when the Chinese swimmer came from behind to beat him in the 2016 200m Freestyle event.

‘I was ahead by a long way with 50m to go in that race, but Sun Yang came past me,’ le Clos said.

As the COVID-belated 2022 FINA World Championships

organisations in the field of doping prevention. In fact, the

begin in Budapest this weekend, the best swimmers in the

body has come under fire for the strictness of its rules,

world will either descend in competition or take a deserved

notably the 2017 twelve-month ban issued to Australian

break after last year’s Olympic Games – with one notable

swimmer Thomas Fraser-Holmes, who missed three drug

But Australian academic and analyst Julian Savulescu

exception.

tests in a year – tests that are by their nature random and

wonders how legal and freely available drugs in sport

unannounced, only allowing a single hour for an athlete

would violate this ‘spirit’, which includes pillars like

to provide a sample.

excellence in performance, community and solidarity,

Attacked from many sides, paranoia brought about Sun’s

and teamwork.

eventual second doping ban – this time, without a positive

Australian swimmer Mack Horton faced the wrath of the Chinese media during the 2016 Summer Olympics, when he publicly labelled Sun Yang a drug cheat. Since then, the

But from the get-go, FINA has been soft on Sun Yang.

Agency, which views doping violations as breeches of ‘the

‘He was the only man who did that, and that says it all really

spirit of sport’.

… Sun passed me like I was standing still in the last 25m,

Australian media has collectively demonised the 30-year-

‘For many athletes, sport is not safe enough without drugs,’

old Chinese, freestyle swimmer out of public favour.

Savulescu argues in his 2004 paper, Why we should allow performance enhancing drugs in sport.

60

compete.’

aged 26. While one can’t speculate about To’s access to

much less like courage, and more like aggression.

Yang resists simplicity, and it’s time the culture of drug

cardiac screening before being allowed to train or

being taken to hospital, To died of Sudden Cardiac Arrest

swimmers like Horton and the Australian media looks

swimmer Sun Yang. This outcome was the result of nearly

Association to recommend that all athletes undergo

experimental peptide treatment to recover from a

In this context, the hostility shown towards Sun by

is, by any definition, a drug cheat. But the case of Sun

in young athletes has prompted the American Heart

one example of the double standard. After accessing

athletes can die suddenly from a heart condition.

handed down a guilty verdict and eight-year ban to Chinese

‘The relatively high incidence of sudden cardiac death

playing field. Instead, it puts athletes at risk.

slowed down to a regular rhythm after exercising. After

And on the surface, what’s wrong with that? Sun Yang

had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy or heart malformations.

available to athletes. Former NRL player Sandor Earl is

a practice session in Florida. The issue – To’s heart had not

On February 28th 2020, the Court of Arbitration for Sport

training session or competition—most often because they

competition does not, in any material sense, level the

similar symptoms to Sun Yang. In 2019, To felt unwell after

TOM LOUDON

athletes collapsed and died directly after or during a

The prohibition of medically prescribed drugs from

Australian-Hong Kong swimmer Kenneth To suffered

In Defence of Sun Yang

‘For example, between 1985 and 1995, at least 121 US

which is unheard of.’ Swimming commentators at the time, however, disputed this claim, noting le Clos wasted more energy than his competitors on his poor final turn.

test. After giving blood and urine samples to three antidoping assistants (DCA) at his home on September 4th 2018, Sun sensationally took a hammer from his garden shed and destroyed the samples.

NON-FICTION

61

Unsurprisingly, the already embattled swimmer became,

provide accreditation at the time of Sun’s drug test, also

again, an easy villain for the Australian press. How could he

admitted to being a construction worker via written

not? Sun’s fans have abused several high-profile athletes

testimony.

who commented on his case – including basketballer Andrew Bogut and British swimmer Duncan Scott – and his abrasive personality hasn’t made him many friends in the sporting world. Sun’s shed became the butt of many jokes among pundits, as did his “fearsome Tiger mother”.

The eight-year ban handed down by the CAS may have seemed inevitable, but in context, the case of Sun Yang resists simplicity. Sun is a helpful villain for a sports media industry concerned by the threat to western sporting dominance posed by China. But when one considers his

Few commentators managed, however, to observe that

actual crimes, it's nearly impossible to justify an eight-year

a doping test taking place in a shed is not protocol and

ban. In fact, last year, the Court of Arbitration for Sport

that Sun did not in fact bring a hammer with him to a

halved Sun’s ban from eight years to four, clearing the way

test, as was often purported. Few still reported that after

for his Olympic return in 2024.

providing samples, Sun observed a DCA taking photos of him. When confronted, the DCA could not provide any accreditation, even claiming to be a construction worker.

None of the DCAs had brought any accreditation at all.

Meanwhile, at these June World Championships, Sun won’t be in the pool. He remains the World Record holder in the 1500m Freestyle, but at 30 years old, whether he will ever race professionally again remains to be seen.

More confounding still is the allegation from Sun’s

***

Australian coach, Dennis Cotterell, that the drug test conducted on the 4 September 2018, was his ninth in two

Sun has always carved a lonely figure at major meets, and is

weeks (These tests were conducted during the Asian

by all accounts difficult for other swimmers to be around.

Games, and all returned negative results).

Sun’s confrontations with his competitors has been difficult

Speaking to Glass Media in 2021, Australian Olympic Silver Medalist Jack McLoughlin had little sympathy for Sun, and stressed that other swimmers felt the same way.

‘As someone who thinks what he did is despicable and as someone who is racing him, I did find the 8-year ban to be really harsh,’ McLoughlin said.

‘I think that was a big statement against what he did.’

‘Even if he was concerned with how the test was carried out, with all of our tests we complete there’s areas in the forms where you can report what you weren’t happy about.

If the panel thinks that it’s valid, they will scrap the test,

to justify, even to his fans. When Duncan Scott refused to share a podium with Sun in 2019, Sun infamously berated Scott, calling him a ‘loser’.

I also find it difficult to detach Sun’s cantankerous personality from his swimming performances. At a swimming camp in 2015, my swim team stayed at the Runaway Bay complex where Sun used to train. It was, and remains, the only time I have ever seen a swimmer, elite or otherwise, train completely alone. Sun was accompanied only by the five or six assistant coaches by the pool-side – the only time I’ve ever seen a squad in which the coaches outnumbered the swimmers.

no matter what happened. So, there was no real reason for

But an abrasive personality is not enough to justify a

him to do what he did.’

career ending ban. It’s difficult to defend Sun Yang, and

‘We are meticulous with that stuff, when I look at a vial even if I see a speck of dirt in it, I request a new testing

it’s important to criticise him – but that doesn’t mean we can’t try both.

tube. Just flat out refusing is a no-no. We all agreed that he should be banned for something like that.’

Sun’s Fate Sun’s farcical defence at the Court of Arbitration for Sport in 2019 and 2020 was easily lambastable in the international media, including his refusal to respond to questioning, to his attempted boycott of the court. But

This piece was originally published on qutglass.com

his initial hearing was also deeply marred by translation issues, which caused frustration among judges and lawyers. The unnamed DCA who had been unable to

62

ARTWORK BY IZZY HEATON

63

Blinding Love

I watched Darwin as he weaved between workstations.

empty fridge if not for a tub of butter (I made a note to

He was striding towards me, and I covered my mouth as a

write him a grocery list). A slight smile stretched my lips –

little smile reached my lips. I would've been lying if I said I

a formerly single man lived here.

didn't enjoy his attention.

'An investigation is underway.' The television's humming

Today his brunette hair was tousled, and my fingers

was muffled though intelligible. I shifted my attention away

itched to run through his locks. I quickly averted my eyes

from the news to focus on the task at hand – breakfast.

as he looked at me. He already caught me staring at him EURIELLE (CHELSEA) GLENN

The faint mumble of the television stirred me from my sleep. The brisk morning breeze was tender as it brushed at the draperies on the window. It allowed soft filtered

multiple times in the few weeks I had been there, and I wasn't prepared for his playful ribbing when he would come teasingly close to kissing me. Though, a part of me wanted to keep staring.

'Alva...' his tone deepened. I began to feel ill, yet the sensation of him around me felt so comforting. 'Are you okay?'

I removed the pancake from the pan and stacked it with the other. I could feel Darwin's heavy gaze all the while.

I shuffled through drawers and eventually found a tub of

Swallowing the bile rising in my throat, I gently loosened

pancake mixture and tiny cubes of sliced bacon. I fished

his arms to turn around. His face was so close I could feel

two plates and a spatula, and the batter mixed with bacon

his breath on my lips as he searched my gaze. Worry lines

pieces sizzled loudly as I poured it into a pan.

were forming around his blue eyes as I pushed out another

'A parent's plea for help in search of their missing daughter.'

unsteady breath.

sunlight into the room, and it streaked across Darwin's

He was wearing his blinding smile as he reached my

face – illuminating his beguiling features.

workstation and casually leant against the separator. I

I lifted the pan and scraped the spatula underneath.

refrained from staring at his dimples as he chuckled at my

'Community search.' The monotone drawl of the news

He stared before silently nodding. He removed his arms

enduring silence. 'After work, do you want to watch a movie

anchor fell into the background as I flipped the pancake,

from around me and took a step back. He watched closely

at my place?' Amusement shone from his eyes as a blush

and a loud sizzling once again filled the room. 'Suspected

as I walked into the living room. I lowered myself onto

warmed my cheeks, and I could feel my stomach tightening

kidnapping.'

the couch.

'Good morning,' I whispered. His only response was a short hum as he shifted his body closer to mine. He rested his face in the crook of my neck, and I could feel his smiling lips against my collarbone as he let out a lingering sigh. Its warmth swept across my shoulders.

The heat underneath the bedsheets and between our bodies was intoxicatingly pleasant. I stretched and hefted

as he leaned closer.

I removed the pancake from the pan and poured a new

The remote of the television sat between us, and I slowly

batch. 'Eight-year-old girl with light blonde hair and hazel

reached out to grab it. I stared at him. He didn't make a

grew.

eyes.' I stared at the mixture as a bubble rose, "last seen in

move to stop me as tears welled in his eyes. I only needed

a green dress and tan sandals" and popped.

to turn the television on for a second – to see her face –

I decided to get my lunch from the dingy fast-food

still with a smile on his face, as I padded towards the living

restaurant a block away. I dawdled across the parking lot

room. The static of the television grew more strident, and

and let out a steady breath that warmed my cheeks. The

rays of soft sunlight momentarily blinded me as I walked

cloud dissipated and lost its warmth to the unrelenting

deeper into the room. I gingerly took the remote and

cold. Periodical shivers coursed through my aching

changed the television channel to the morning news.

muscles as I inched closer to my 1990 Holden Commodore.

The uneven chorus of shutting down computers and shuffling of papers was all that I could hear as employees collectively concluded their tasks and stood to leave their workstations. I got used to the sinking feeling in my chest as multiple groups congregated and travelled together towards their usual breakroom. I had yet to even know

'I like your car'— I whirled around as a hand tugged at my coat— 'can I see inside?' A little girl stared up at me, and I

cinemas four times already, and every time his hand found its place on top of mine, and it sent tingles down my legs.

He had always held my hand as he walked me to my car, and only when I needed to open the door did he release it.

noticed that he watched me with a tense grin.

*

thus the shittiest one available – the only one I could afford).

The television switched off, and I swung around with a

throat, 'Are you okay? Where are your parents?'

had gotten me the job in the first place. He invited me to the

'It’s okay,' I uttered, still recovering from his jump-scare; I

niece's hand — 'I'll be back in time for our movie night.'

with any of the already established workplace cliques.

that description of his generosity was a bit lacklustre, as he

my niece; she's a little weird sometimes.'

thought about the child liking my car (the cheapest and

eyes. I leant down to her level and awkwardly cleared my

navigate the inner social workings of this place. Though

appeared next to us, and he chuckled at me, 'I'm sorry for

again. The laughter felt bitter in my throat, though, as I

made any friends among my colleagues – let alone fit in

rather, was kind enough to show me around and help me

'You were supposed to stay in the car,' I flinched as Darwin

'I’m just taking her back to her parents' — he grabbed his

I stopped laughing as the girl stared at me with widened

I could see the one person who took an interest in me – or

*

let out a terse laugh at my jumpy reaction – then I laughed

where most of the breakrooms were. I was too new to have

Though, as I peered over the separator of my workstation,

'We need to talk.'

'Sure.' I smiled up at him, and he bit his lip as his own smile

the weighted blanket from my body. Darwin lay in bed,

*

* I pressed my ear to the door and heard his gentle snoring.

I decided to let him sleep a little longer. The night before,

he still made no move to touch me. His tears were almost blinding as the sunlight reflected in them.

'Do you trust me?' He whispered.

My skin tingled. 'You’ll never hurt me. Will you?'

Darwin’s chin crumbled as his lips trembled, 'never.'

'Okay,' tears streaked down my cheeks, 'and I’ll never hurt you.'

kissed me, I kissed back.

His sharp eyes delved into mine.

We sat in silence.

'Oh, no'— I tried to disregard the drumming of my heart as I gave him a sheepish smile – 'I wasn't even focusing.'

hand, and I let out a shaky breath as Darwin's arms snaked

home. I wandered into the kitchen, marvelling at the large

around my waist. His body pressed into mine from behind.

It was evident that a single man lived here – a small pile

were billowing down his cheeks as he stared at me – yet

When he tentatively moved closer, I didn’t recoil, and as he

I turned my back to him. The spatula trembled in my

me – it was quaint in size but extravagant in its detail.

We sat in silence.I redirected my gaze to Darwin. Tears

hand. He smiled at me, 'Sorry, were you listening to that?'

to his bedroom, and as such, I had yet to see the rest of his archway that connected the rooms. His home perplexed

before immediately switching it off.

violent flinch. Darwin stood there with the remote in his

we watched a movie in his living room, then we retreated

of dishes sat in the sink (I took to cleaning them) and the

64

its beating, but my hands quickened in their shaking.

'You’re making us breakfast?'

I nodded, and I bit my lip as he rested his face in the crook of my neck, placing a small kiss on the skin. His closeness was conjuring conflicting reactions – my heart slowed in FICTION

65

‘Yes,’ the man said. His shopping bag crinkled as he shifted it to his other hand. The smell of Christmas, a mix of vanilla and ginger, wafted from inside the bag. Candles, Ella guessed, delighted by the scent.

‘Well then I’ll leave you to consider for a while,’ she said,

Christmas Casual

her body angled towards the newcomer. ‘Let me know if you need more help.’

It was one of her favourites, and the fourth time she’d heard it that day.

She peered at the clock – two hours left.

Her workmates hated this time of year. Too many people, too much noise. But Ella loved it. The shifts were

woman about the same age as her mum, smiling bright

tiring but went by quickly. Plus, there was something

and plum coloured. Eyes nowhere near Ella’s feet.

about Christmastime that, like vanilla and ginger scented

today?’

candles, conjured feelings of contentment.

‘Any luck, sir?’ Ella asked the man as she approached, steeling herself against any further shoe ogling.

Beneath the clamour of passing customers the familiar

‘Hi,’ the woman’s wrinkles delicately creased the

tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town began its hundredth

corners of her eyes. ‘I was just walking past and saw

He turned to face her. It was then Ella noticed the

iteration.

these.’ She picked up one of the ruby shoes. ‘They’re quite

redness of his eyes. Not the kind of red from a little crying

hideous.’

recently, but the kind of red from a lot of crying constantly.

Ella approached a man who stood at the display rack at the front of the store – the one with the hideous red

Ella couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her

sequined shoes that people either walked right passed

‘I don’t know what you mean; these are our best sellers,’

or nudged their friend’s shoulder as they moved by the

Ella joked.

store to laugh over. They’d been living on a back shelf for months now. However, that morning when Ella showed up for her shift, Julie had been carefully rearranging shoes like decorations on a cake. Ella had scoffed and Julie had looked up at her.

‘What?’ She’d shrugged. ‘If there’s any good time to sell these gaudy things it’s Christmas time.’

‘Reckon you can fool some sucker into paying forty dollars for a set of baubles with heels?’

‘Maybe they can put them on their Christmas tree?’

Ella had rolled her eyes and walked beyond the displays to begin her shift. Which she’d been at now for three hours.

‘Well,’ Ella said. ‘We don’t sell these particular shoes here-’ ‘It’s not a part of the uniform? You know; this being a shoe store and all.’

Ella embraced her customer service smile and laughed lightly at his joke.

‘You’d think so, but no. Afraid it’s just the t-shirts.’

The man didn’t return her laugh and she worried he’d been serious. He looked back down at her ballet flats. The silence stretched to ten seconds. She shifted her feet and contemplated reaching for the red shoes and clicking them

The man stood in front of the red disco shoes, the

together three times. Maybe they would take her away

plastic bag in his left hand hung low to swish over the tiled

from the store, this moment, and the way the man staring

floor. His gaze shifted to Ella as she neared, doing a full

at her feet.

sweep from head to toe, noticing her name tag and store shirt.

‘My wife would love those shoes.’

‘We have some that are quite similar. If you’d like to see them?’ she offered.

The woman’s smile was warm. ‘Has anyone ever bought a pair?’

‘Not in my time here,’ Ella replied. ‘But I’m hoping for a Christmas miracle.’ The woman placed the shoe back wonky on it’s stand ‘They can’t be comfortable?’ she asked.

‘They’re definitely not.’

‘Ha. Shouldn’t you be trying to sell them to me?’

‘Who says I’m not? Do you have any relatives you’re not fond of that you still need to buy a gift for?’

The woman laughed.

‘Yes, however, I doubt red is his colour.'

‘Drat,’ Ella joked. ‘Well, we do also sell men’s shoes. If you’d like to have a look while you’re here? Though there aren’t any with red sequins.’

The man nodded and gazed aimlessly. Ella guided him

‘No, thank you.’ The woman adjusted the handbag on

The man’s words lifted the edges of Ella’s mouth. Julie

a few rows down to where the flats were shelved. ‘As you

her shoulder. ‘I was just curious about these. Wanted to get

had finished her shift half an hour ago. She would be so

can see, they’re very similar, and we have them in a few

a closer look. See if they were real.’

cross she’d missed a potential customer for the bauble

different colours.’

heels. However, when Ella noticed the man’s gaze, her smile faltered. He wasn’t looking at the red shoes, but at her own feet.

‘Oh,’ she said, glancing at her beige ballet flats.

‘She likes the pointy ones,’ he explained.

66

And, my dear, we’re still good-byeing,

Elle shook off the awkwardness as she greeted a

‘Hello there,’ Ella said. ‘Can I help you with anything

NICOLE JACOBSEN

Oh the fire is slowly dying,

The man nodded.

‘So, are you shopping for a Christmas gift for your wife?’ Ella asked, noticing another customer enter the store in her peripheral vision and walk right up to the red shoes.

‘No worries. Happy shopping!’

Once the woman was out of sight, Ella straightened the shoe on its stand.

A lull in the cacophony of the crowd made the song playing over the speakers sound louder.

Over days. Weeks.

‘I’m not sure,’ he said.

The lingering effects of the man’s earlier awkwardness fell away at the sight of his reddened eyes. Not the kind of red from a little crying recently, but the kind of red from a lot of crying constantly. Over days. Weeks.

‘Well,’ she began. ‘What is it you’re not sure of?’

‘I’m not sure if shoes are the right gift,’ he admitted, reaching for a navy blue flat with a gold buckle. ‘Not sure they send the right message.’

‘What kind of message are you trying to send?’

He spoke to the shoe.

‘I’m not sure,’ he repeated. ‘What says “I received the divorce papers a week ago, but I still haven’t opened them because I don’t understand what happened, so I’m pretending everything is fine and I got you a gift. Merry Christmas”?’

Ella’s mother had taken her out for ice-cream when she’d told her. She remembered the melted mint chocolate chip that dribbled onto her fingers as she gripped the cone, trying to think of the words that would fix it. Words that would make them change their minds. Make him stay.

The man returned the shoe.

‘Well, shoes can mean a lot of things,’ Ella said, shifting from her left foot to her right. ‘They can be a practical gift, obviously, everyone needs shoes.’ She laughed and the man’s lips twitched. ‘They can be for exercise or work, you know, “smart casual”,’ she touched a black flat, her jerky

FICTION

67

movements toppling it. She caught it and readjusted it on the plastic stand. ‘They can be for fun–’ ‘Fun,’ he said, cutting her off. ‘She used to say we never did anything fun.’ His voice sounded hopeful. ‘What says fun?’

Ella’s gaze wandered towards the red shoes at the front of the store.

Their eyes met and the music outside played Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Ella searched for something to say.

The man muttered his thanks and turned to leave.

‘Happy shopping,’ Ella blurted, her heart skipping a beat.

He paused beside the ruby shoes, eyeing them with

‘That depends. What type of stuff does your, uh, wife,

a strange sort of wonder, before facing her. He lifted the

do for fun?’ Her stomach plummeted at her verbal stumble,

Christmas bag as he waved; the handle clutched tightly in

but he didn’t seem to notice.

his left hand, gold wedding band digging into his skin.

‘She likes to read,’ he said.

‘Merry Christmas,’ he said.

If only they sold slippers. Oh, there’s an idea.

‘We sell socks,’ Ella said. The man’s expression remained neutral. She rushed to explain. ‘There’s fuzzy ones, or spotty ones, or ones with pizzas or cats on them.’

december, dinner

He seemed to be considering her suggestion seriously now.

‘She’s allergic to cats,’ he said.

CIARAN GREIG

‘There are other animal prints too. Why don’t you have a look and see what pops out?’ She motioned to the wall

Digg sits at the table he has laid and wonders who is

at the back that displayed various styles of socks. ‘You can

missing.

mix and match,’ she suggested. ‘And they’re two for one.’

She walked him over and hesitated beside him. He looked so lost.

Could Ella have made her father stay? Was there anything anyone could do or say in that situation? She guessed it depended on the person.

‘What about these?’ he asked, picking out a pair of yellow socks dotted with daisies.

‘They’re sweet,’ she said, smiling encouragingly.

He held them reverently.

‘You can get another set for free,’ she reminded him.

He selected a pair with multicoloured stripes, then followed Ella to the counter.

‘That’ll be twelve dollars,’ she said.

He paid and Ella placed the socks into a gaudy green and gold Christmas themed paper bag with the store logo printed in glitter. Silence pressed against her chest as she handed over the bag.

It is a warm Sunday afternoon in late December 2012, just after Christmas. It is the last dinner party of the year.

The friends gathered on Digg’s West End veranda are browned from the sun, woozy from the alcohol he has plied them with, and high on the feeling of the holiday season not yet being over. Their legs and arms are stretched in all directions over his couch and kitchen table, both of which have been dragged onto for the occasion. Lax and limber: everyone, everything. Except the lanky man in the brown shirt, running his hands up and down his thighs. His muscles feel staticky and ticklish.

Someone is missing. Digg is sure of it.

Noor drains another glass and Digg is sent to the kitchen for another bottle of wine. He checks the note on his phone titled ‘dec – dinner’.

Noor.

Ammy.

Eliza.

Rudy.

Gary.

(Sabine).

They are all there. Every one of them. Noor is there, wearing an outrageously ugly designer coat that is inappropriate for both the occasion and the weather, purchased with money recently inherited from a past lover.

Upon hearing this, no-one at the table asks for the details, preferring not to be implicated in Noor’s questionable taste in romantic entanglements.

Eliza and Rudy are there, having arrived together but sitting at opposite ends of the table, as they prefer.

Gary is there, swishing wine in the bottom of his glass and looking lost in thought, likely trying to work out how to politely end the conversation he is having with Noor, who is talking at Gary with gusto. Digg can only catch snippets of their conversation: ‘Campbell Newman’ and ‘not that bad’.

Digg smiles. He knew seating Gary and Noor together was a perfect idea.

And Ammy is there, sunk into the corner of the old couch on the veranda. Digg can just see her from where he stands in the kitchen. She is wearing a stained, oversized beige cotton shirt that blends her into the fabric of the couch and tattered shorts. She is listening to the conversation around her and she is smiling. Ammy rang Digg last night while he was at the local deli.

‘Don’t forget the anchovies,’ Ammy said, after hearing he was making the pasta dish she loved – spelt spaghetti with fleshy olives and brine-doused anchovies.

= 7 w/ me

68

FICTION

69

‘I wondered if it’s ok if I bring someone,’ Ammy said next, leaving the line quiet as she waited for Digg’s reply.

Digg wondered, briefly, if he had imagined it. Or if he could forget he had heard it. Of course, he had forgotten the anchovies.

So, Ammy is there.

And so is Sabine. Sabine pronounced the German way. He was corrected by Ammy, when they arrived for dinner: sab-een-eh. No, not sab-een-ah. Not sab-een. Digg

When he sits down again, he crosses off the guests in his mind: Noor. Ammy. Eliza. Rudy. Gary. (Sabine). Everyone is here.

In the quiet lull after everyone is served their desserts, Sabine sighs and declares to the table that she ‘doesn’t usually enjoy crumble’.

‘Thank you,’ Digg says. He imagines Sabine’s comment is a compliment, though he’s not entirely sure. The rest of the group is silent.

smiled and apologised, and tried to ignore the feeling that

At the end of the night, while everyone is drunkenly

Ammy had meant to hurt him. She had never corrected him

shuffling on their shoes and arranging taxis for the ride

before.

home, Digg forgets to say goodbye to Ammy.

Sabine has thick, deep blonde hair and is taller than

He leans out his window to shout to her, but Ammy

anyone else in the flat – almost offensively so, Digg thinks.

and Sabine are already at the end of his street. He watches

She has long, wide fingers adorned with chunky rings

Ammy’s soft brown head of hair bob around the corner.

that make Digg’s cutlery seem miniscule in her hands.

Her wrists are crowded with bangles that clatter as she carves and slices her food. And she is loud. So loud. So unlike Ammy.

When the table is otherwise distracted, Digg sees Sabine reach over and mumble something to Ammy. Ammy smiles, and so does Sabine. Sabine tucks a finger of Ammy’s hair behind the curve of her ear. He feels it is something he should have never seen – like watching an elephant sew a missing button back onto a child’s dress shirt.

Digg and Ammy had a tender, quiet friendship. They often met on Saturday afternoons to peruse the local library. Digg always left with a tote-bag full of new releases with glossy covers. He was often jealous of Ammy, though – who breezed pass the new releases to scour the stacks.

Sometimes, Digg felt annoyed at Ammy after watching her check out her books. Her choices were always items that he wouldn’t have picked up himself, but in Ammy’s hands, seemed to acquire some sort of luminescent quality. He’d often take notes on the books she chose, and would return to the library after she returned them to check them out himself. He wasn’t sure why he kept this from his friend.

Digg serves peach crumble for dessert with homemade vanilla-bean ice-cream. Everything about the peach crumble that night is exactly right – from the texture of the crumble contrasted with the smoothness of the peach flesh, to the tang of the fresh ginger he grated into the crushed biscuit mixture. Digg accidentally plates an eighth

It is Gary who calls him the next morning, to tell him what happened.

He listens to Gary’s deep, scratchy voice not understanding the sentences his words are forming. Digg cries for the first time he can remember while eating the extra bowl of cold peach crumble from the fridge. He stops, mid-bite, when he remembers Sabine. He spits his halfchewed bite of crumble back into the bowl and throws the whole thing in the bin.

Judged EURIELLE (CHELSEA) GLENN

It was being watched, but it did not know. The breeze was

He revelled in the warmth until it turned his skin into bark

gentle and quiet, and its footsteps were even quieter. Its

and bumps began to form, and burst with a sap coloured

breathing was raspy and unsteady, and it smelt like mint

like the sky as the sun died and he didn’t know what to do.

leaves and blood. The sky was bruised, haemorrhaging, as the sun sunk below the horizon. The forest was inhaling

He didn’t know he was being watched.

and the bark was splitting and folding to expand its wooden

The fire turned on them and they scattered like ants

lungs. It was strong and resilient, though its lungs were

underneath a magnifying glass. They watched as their

slowly turning to paper; paper that crushed beneath the

feast turned into fire and the roads they walked on melted

weight of the atmosphere should it breathe too deeply.

into black lava.

He could see through it.

The untameable beast they lived on had no hair; it had no lungs and no air to breathe and consume and create.

Eventually, Digg marries a lady named Jayne, who

Its gentle touch was but a lie – it disguised a truth in its

works in the public service and has had the same haircut

rib cage of roots. The air it consumed dampened its lungs,

He didn’t know the judging eyes were burning a hole in the

since she was seven years old. Digg’s love for Jayne is

weakened them, and covered them with an ever-expanding

back of his head.

grounded in tangible things: a rates notice that will always

moss. A cancer that grew into its heart. The heartbeats

be paid on time, the chicken roast they have for dinner

sounded like tribal drums and snapping trees, and the

every Friday night, the Jack Reacher books his wife reads

leaves on its head shook in fear, and it was confused. Its

before bed.

fingers were burning, and the ants walked through the

He stops hosting the dinner parties.

One night, the December before his forty-eighth year,

flames and climbed its arms, and the fire followed.

His skin was cold and he followed the warmth.

Digg stands in a Woolworths watching a foil tin of anchovy

Its hair turned brown and shrivelled and slipped from

fillets float along a conveyer belt.

its scalp, and fuelled the fire on its shoulders. The ants

‘I didn’t know you liked anchovies,’ Jayne says, as she unpacks the tiny tin and squints at it.

Why did I buy anchovies? Digg looks at her, looking at the anchovies.

The pasta, he thinks. I need them for the pasta.

He watched as its heart was blackened, and the black smoke rose high into the sky, and the dawn came to feed the trees but it found none.

Only a world of corpses fuelled the smoke that blotted out the sun.

travelled the crackling kindling, and with them, they carried chunks of sharp metal and cut into the chest and unearthed the heart. Sap seeped from the pulsating roots and glowed golden in the orange light of the flames. The ants fire-danced and they cheered and carried banquets on their crippling backs to feast and feed their stomachs and lies.

serving of the crumble, which ends up in fridge, covered in cling-wrap. His friends laugh at his inability to count the heads on the veranda and Digg frowns.

70

FICTION

71

Not. One. Word.

Yet, she sings. Alone in her bedroom or with her puppy. It makes my heart burst with pride and despair. Who, within our busy society, will slow down enough to hear her? A girl who doesn’t speak. Who will understand her?

How can anyone possibly understand her? Appreciate her?

What places can I find for my daughter to thrive? She creates her own world in her mind. What opportunities exist for a girl like her?

should just be grateful, it’s not like anyone has leukemia.

We’re fine.

‘Do you want me to take something into the songbird?’

Sarah asks interrupting my avid staring at the trees out the kitchen window.

‘No. She doesn’t take long to get ready. Has Lisa talked to you, Sarah?’ I ask, hopeful. ‘She seems happy at the new school.’

‘No, Mum. She woke me up at 3am and we watched anime together, but she still used notes on my phone to talk.’

‘Hmm.’

If she is not engaged academically, she is engaged in anxiety. It’s one or the other with no in-between. She is a selective mute. My autistic daughter, Lisa, chooses how she communicates and it’s nonverbal. We use hand signals, thumbs up and thumbs down for positive and negative responses. Thumbs sideways for ‘I need a quick exit’.

LYNDA GRASSO

Sitting with my back against the hallway, I listen to her voice.

The sound is joyful. The timbre of her voice is changing

Songbird Lisa

with her age. My eyes are closed, she has always had an ear for music and a talent for performing, I think ruefully.

A quick study, is how her music teacher describes her. On the stage, she would transform from this little girl who was crying, anxious of what her peers thought of her and

ready supply of notebooks.

Unique, intelligent, stubborn, creative: Lisa. She started a new school this year and takes her notebook to communicate there too.

Sneaking it out of her school bag, I read it. There’s a girl named Hayley who wrote descriptions of her peers in the notebook to help Lisa identify who is who in the school zoo.

Such as ‘Ben, green jumper’, ‘Jordi, Minecraft drink bottle’.

My three girls burst through the front door after school.

Discordant in a cacophony of noise and mess throwing their lunchboxes on the bench. Sarah and Lisa head straight to their rooms, as teenagers do.

Little Franny gives me a hug.

Her arms encircle my waist and I feel the simple delight of her unbridled affection.

‘Hello sweetie. How was school?’

‘Good. One of the kids had a birthday and we got ice blocks.’

She says opening the fridge.

‘Aww that’s nice. How was walking home with your big sisters?’

There are a few entries from someone named Flynn who

‘Ok. I like Lisa better now, you know. When she doesn’t talk.’

describes himself as a ‘demiboy’, a term I needed to Google.

Fran grabs a yogurt.

Sometimes she was mad at her peers for not taking the

There are a lot of questions from Lisa about this, too.

‘Really, why?’ I stop and listen carefully.

performance as seriously as she did. She memorised her

She asks what pronouns Flynn uses and there’s a quick

lines in one week, where the other kids took months. She

scribble from Flynn thanking her for her interest and

knew all the steps and all the moves, and I could see her

understanding. It’s a mature conversation for a 12-year-

masking her irritation every time someone called, ‘Line!’

old. Feeling guilty, I hastily return it to her bag.

But she persisted.

It’s hard to get specifics from a mute and I need to

upset at almost everything to a graceful and confident presence engulfed under the sparkling lights of the show.

She was a figure that demands your attention, and she was born for that attention.

Or that’s how it seemed then. Now, when I hear her voice, locked away in her bedroom. It reminds me of when she was a baby, putting her into the cot as I waited outside the door for the drowsy goo’s and gaa’s to cease as she found

investigate her life to understand her better.

Sarah, my eldest, slowly exits her bedroom in her PJs. She tilts her head.

‘Mum, what are you doing out here?’

‘Listening to your sister sing,’ I sigh.

sleep. She has always been a child with a lot to say, the

‘Uh huh.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘Coffee, please?’ she walks past

loud one.

me to the bathroom.

That is, until one day.

‘Ok.’ I fill the kettle. Looking out the kitchen window, it’s

When she just stopped talking. It’s been six months and she hasn’t said a word.

72

That one gets used a bit. Our family has adapted with a

*****

another sunny day in Queensland. I note the breeze making the trees dance. At least the kids are healthy, I think. I

‘She was mean before. Always angry, she would throw things and call me names. But now she doesn’t do most of that. Sometimes we play video games together and she draws OCs.’ Fran kicks her feet absently under the table.

‘What’s an OC?’ I ask.

Fran laughs. ‘Original Character, Mum.’ ‘Oh. That makes sense. Do you think she’s happier? I can’t really tell.’

‘Not sure, but she’s definitely nicer to me.’ Fran says.

Interesting. This is good. I think.

Lisa is sitting at her desk playing a video game on her laptop. ‘Hey, sweetie. Are you hungry? I have snacks,’ I offer. Gently I lift one side of her headphones up. ‘Lisa, please look at me.’

FICTION

73

She isn’t playing the game now, but she is doing something

attention to the game.

with the paper from her notebook.

‘Lisa, I spoke to your teacher today, she says you’re settling

She cuts out a page. Whatever, I think.

in well. That you are very independent at school. Do you like this school?’

I try to compose myself, but I can’t stop staring at her stupid jumper. I think how much I hate that jumper. It has

Lisa gives a thumbs up and continues gaming, absently

holes in it from when she lets the puppy chew it. It’s too

picking up a cracker.

big and goes down past her knees. I wish I could burn it,

‘Can you tell me why you are still not talking? I thought you stopped because you were unhappy at the old school. You are now in a new school. Why don’t you talk?’

Lisa shakes her head.

because to me it symbolises her self-imposed isolation.

It’s an ugly jumper, it smells even after I wash it with fabric softener.

Yet, to her it symbolises comfort, so I know I can’t get rid of it. I must accept the stupid smelly jumper, that’s just

‘No? No, what? What does that mean?’

the way it is.

I grab the ever-present supply of notebooks and a pen. ‘Can

‘Sorry, I don’t mean to make you feel bad.’ I mumble trying

you explain more?’

and failing again to understand her.

She stops and looks at me then shakes her head again.

‘Never mind. Mum’s just being silly.’ I say, in my best bright

I watch as her hair bounces around her shoulders. I am

tone. Forcing a watery smile.

feeling suddenly frustrated.

Lisa holds up her hand to stop me from leaving the room.

‘Why, baby? Can you talk to your psychologist? Can you

I pause in my retreat. ‘Yes, sweetie?’

please tell someone? I just want to help you.’

She writes ‘maybe’.

‘Maybe what? Maybe you will talk with your psychologist?’

Lisa nods.

In her other hand she holds a tiny paper crane.

Then she draws a big red love heart on it.

She comes close. Hugging close but pats my back in an almost embrace instead.

‘Ok, it doesn’t have to be me, please just talk to someone.

‘Is that for me?’ I ask shocked. Standing very still, to not

You have an appointment in three days. Can you promise

startle her.

to tell her then?’

She nods and writes on a notepad. ‘I learnt origami.’ a proud

Lisa shrugs.

smile.

‘Promise me.’

‘Did you? At school?’ I say, ‘That’s clever.’

Tears start to silently roll down my face.

‘Online,’ she scribbles in her notebook.

‘It’s just, I don’t know what to do. I miss you. It sounds crazy

‘Ok.’ I say tearfully, ‘Thank you and I love you too.’ I lean

because I am with you every single day. But I miss you,

a little closer and ask, ‘Can I put my arms around you?

baby. I really do.’ Words fly out of my mouth in frustration

Stepping back, she smiles and nods with a big thumbs up.

before I can stop them.

She gives me a pat on the back and passes me a tissue. I

‘I can’t tell if you love me, or if you’re happy or sad. I don’t know what happens in your day. I just miss you. Do you even care? You hardly look at me or interact with me.’

Not really expecting an answer. ‘I found you a better environment and take you to the best doctors that I can barely bloody afford. What else can I do? Do you even love

ARTWORK BY ANNE KELLEY

Her brown eyes briefly peruse my face as she returns her

shut her door.

I stare at her origami crane and chuckle at myself.

I can hear her singing again.

I slide down the hallway wall and resume my seat to listen.

She loves me, at least. I know she loves me.

me? I honestly can’t even tell.’ Who’s the emotional teen?

I am suddenly ashamed of myself.

Lisa turns her back to me, still sitting at her desk.

74

75

NT CAMPUS

Vic toria Park Golf Cours e DIFFICULTY:

Outdoor

X

J

R A BLOCK Lady Valentine Peace Lily

HI

LL

R

D OA

B

E2

Library

'Rattlesnake' Calathea

A CT

O

R

PA

RK

AD

L

VI

IA

RO

B

W

R ocks Gates

R BLOCK Elephant's Ear

D

Lace Leaf

N

i

R

T

Grey Star

to Herston Road

UN

O

RO

H

Spider Plant

IN

G

BO RY DA

O Podium

RO

US

F

Amphitheatre M

AD

C H E L MS F OR D L ANE

The Kindler Theatre

EAST LAWN / Y BLOCK

P

E

AD

AD

Sci enc e and Engineering Centre

Hawaiian Pothos Arrowhead Plant

M

P

P BLOCK

Library

Wing B West

RO

V

O

East Lawn

The Cube

Lady Bowen Lawn

S

NG

i

The Ra infores t

RI

William Robins on Gallery

Arrowhead Plant

P AT

Old Government Hous e

PIO NTR O RO G AGRADREDNESNS PO NI T AA DD

Registrars Garden

QU T K el vi n G ro ve Swiss Cheese Bu sw ay St at io n

Wing B East

to River S tage

Y

L A DY B O W EN L A NE

B L A C K A L L L ANE

U

Wing A

Room Three S ixty

Kidney Lawn

Wing D

Jade Plant

S P OR T S L A NE

Kelvin Grove

S BLOCK

Wing C O BLOCK

to Herston Road purpose MA IN DR I VE

UT Art Museum

EASY HARD

MA IN

Gardens Theatre

Gardens MultiPointCourts

S P OR T S L A N E

Where to steal cuttings on campus

ens

Child Care Centre

C BLOCK

K AV

Baby Rubber Plant

C

76

UE

R BLOCK

Peace Lily

Z

EN

Mother-in-law's-tongue

C BLOCK

Neon Pothos

C

H

AR

TO

PP

LA

X

Lady Valentine Plant Hawaiian Pothos

to S outh Bank

Kelvin Grove State College

K R

O

N BI

SO

N

A PL

C

E MAP

77

NE

HOROSCOPE S

C KE R S STI

-C DIE

VINYL STICKERS

YL

UT

N VI

White vinyl is tough,

21 MAR - 19 APR

20 APR - 20 MAY

21 MAY - 20 JUN

21 JUN - 22 JUL

Your brain is busy, moving a million miles an hour all the time. Please don’t forget to love yourself, truly.

We are coming into a bear market, so it’s too late to buy an NFT.

Live, Laugh, Love? Why don’t you Live, Laugh, Love your way to some therapy?

Alriiiiiiiight!

23 JUL - 22 AUG

23 AUG - 22 SEP

23 SEP - 22 OCT

23 OCT - 21 NOV

You are truly adventurous and a storyteller at heart.

Bring this part of yourself to the forefront.

A wise man once said that life is like a game of chess. It isn’t, and no one knows why they said that. Do drugs.

You like your community, but don't bring other people down with you.

You love fine things, but you yourself are insufferable.

Curious, no?

22 NOV - 21 DEC

21 DEC - 20 JAN

21 JAN - 18 FEB

19 FEB - 20 MAR

You are protective and

As you continue to change, remember the parts of your life that make you feel whole.

Your determination is mistaken for stubbornness. Think about how you mistake the motivations of other people.

Remember the last time you were determined about a situation. What made you so excited, and how can you harness that determination for future projects?

waterproof and strong.

for extra protection and produce vibrant results.

BE

LA

custom shapes, laminated

R OL L

stickers can be cut to

LS

Printed with UV inks, these

NEW ROLL LABELS printer uses polypropylene

R

ST E PO

Our high speed roll Label

BUSINESS CARDS S

materials making them water and tear resistant and

FLYERS

prints in waterproof ink that TS

NEW GAME CARD PRINTING Create your own card game

BO

OK

LE

doesn't run.

We can do custom shape printing

ePrint ad

PLAYING CARDS

or tarot deck from your own custom playing card designs. All custom Game

hub in Brisbane. Playing cards for games, playing cards with standard deck

CU

T

E C A R DS

D

E-

AP

CUST OM

Australia at ePrint's central

I

Cards are printed locally in

SH

faced designs, poker cards, bridge cards etc

BUSINESS CARDS We specialise in fast

ABOUT US

Contact Us

We pride ourselves on providing our

(07) 3866 9600

you’ve always got a card on

customers with affordable, high quality

eprintonline.com.au

hand when you need it.

work with a fast, reliable turnaround.

2/101 Newmarket Rd, Windsor QLD 4030

business card printing with a one day turnaround available, to make sure

With over 30 years of experience in the

FLYERS We can print your flyers within one business day and

Follow Us

take time to open up, but

trusted partner to many local and

@ePrint.online

when you do you truly

national businesses.

@eprintonline

Brisbane printing industry, we are a

offer great discounts on our

Our experienced staff can help you find

three day turnaround flyers.

the best solution to suit your needs,

Great for your business,

and offer an unmatched range of

letter-drops, invitations and

78promotions.

services, printing options and advice.

Coupon!

Use the coupon code glassmedia10 for 10% off* your next order! *Conditions apply

flourish. A feeling of safety is never out of reach.

HOROSCOPE

79

Editors Tom Loudon Ciaran Greig Ella Brumm

Illustrator

Non Fiction

Ben Steele

Stories

Graphic Designer May Lyn Chew

Interviews Reviews

Contributors Tom Loudon Nicole Jacobsen Ciaran Greig Anna Holmes Ella Brumm Sam Collins Jackson Machado-Nunes Eurielle (Chelsea) Glenn Hannah James Sera Al-Rekaby Madi Blisset de Weger Em Readman Lucy Heathcote Ashton Darracott Sam Hope Rory Hawkins Amy Sargeant Lynda Grasso Beth Moore Anne Kelley Izzy Heaton Claudia Pilbeam QUT Journalism Network ScratchThat QUT Biological Science Society QUT MESS Emma Surman Harry George Wallace Renae Bolton for the QUT Art Gallery Kate Tomsett James Dale Joanne Simpkins Tiana Bryce We extend our special thanks to Dr Rohan Wilson, whose support over the past two years has helped Glass grow.

Poetry Art Photography

Your work could be in the pages of Glass Magazine!

We love celebrating and publishing the work of QUT Students and Alumni. Our online submissions are always open and our print edition submissions open as advertised. You can find information about the submission themes and how to submit to Glass on our website, qutglass.com/submit, or our Facebook page @glassmedia.

We accept writing of all genres. We take poetry, opinion pieces, essays, satire, fiction, recipes, reviews and more. We also take illustrations, collages, and photography. If you have any questions, feel free to

BACK-COVER ART BY CLAUDIA PILBEAM

get in touch with the editorial team to discuss.

For more info on how to submit your work, visit qutglass.com/submit

80