Glass Issue 13: Cheat - 2022

Why Glass?

Whether you’re a glass half-full or glass halfempty kind of person; this issue of Glass is stacked with stories for QUT students by QUT students.

Like always, we aim to navigate you through all facets of life that students experience. Glass is here to be a lens on the issues, successes, and stories that matter to students, and we hope you enjoy this issue.

Acknowledgement of Country

Glass Media and the QUT Student Guild acknowledge the Turrbal and Jagera peoples as the First Nations owners of the lands where QUT now stands. We pay respect to their Elders, past, present, and emerging, their lores, customs, and creation spirits. We recognise that these lands have always been places of teaching, research, learning, and storytelling.

Glass Media and the QUT Guild acknowledge the important role Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples play within the Meanjin community.

Cultural Warning

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are warned that the following magazine may contain references to deceased persons.

Disclaimer

Glass Media informs readers that the views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this issue of Glass belong solely to the author, and do not necessarily express the views of Glass Media or the QUT Guild.

Self-Help

Non-Fiction

TOM LOUDON CIARAN GREIG ELLA BRUMM

Dear Glassies,

Whether we want to admit it to ourselves, we’re always cheating. Everyday. It could be on an exam, or it could be a little white lie. But here at Glass, we’re a judgment-free zone and when it comes to your stories, we like to say that ‘it is what it is’.

This is our first edition of 2022, and our first edition with our new editor Ciaran Greig. We were blown away by your responses to the theme Cheat, and we believe we have compiled an issue that encompasses the essence of the theme.

If this is your first semester at QUT, we want to offer you a warm welcome! Glass is your one stop shop for news, culture, and everything in between on campus. We know that times have been tough lately – between online learning and mask mandates. At this time last year, our theme was Reset and we thought we were on the other side of COVID-19. Funny how things work out.

But we like to look at things as a glass half-full.

Through hot and cold, through thick and thin, Glass is here every step of the way on your university journey. We want you to get involved with us, so please don’t hesitate to subscribe to our newsletter, submit to Glass, or reach out to us on our socials. We look forward to meeting you all throughout the year at our in-person events.

As always, with love, The Glass Team.

President’s Letter

Stastipe (hello)! My name is Oscar. I’m in my final year of Law at QUT and am humbled that a Romani kid from Birmingham (UK) would be elected President of the QUT Student Guild in 2022. It is my pleasure to be invited to welcome the first issue of Glass in 2022, with a theme that’s important to both new and current students: ‘Cheat.’

Cheating can take many forms at university. More overt examples are academic and non-academic misconduct. But, there are also less obvious examples, such as, the cost of parking at Gardens Point Campus, and online learning with two-year-old content costing the same as face-to-face learning. And of course, COVID-19 feels like it has cheated us all.

Many of us feel cheated out of the past two years of our lives, both with the opportunities we have missed out on and in our education: cheated out of the opportunity to learn in person, due to the pandemic. This was one of the reasons why I ran for Guild President, so I could have an active role in reclaiming the education of myself and other students. I want to spend my year as President restoring QUT as an educational institution, to make the learning experience better than it was before COVID-19, and to make QUT a university that prioritises student needs first and foremost.

In another light, since the pandemic, the Guild’s advocacy team has seen a 46 per cent increase in their use, due to student misconduct. Much of which is a direct result of the COVID-19 pandemic, of online learning and the general alienation of students from their learning.

For those students who don’t know, the Guild is QUT’s student union. The Guild is independent from QUT which ensures we can properly advocate for student rights. We’re here to make your experience at QUT better. We run the clubs, host numerous events, and offer free advocacy, legal, and tax services to QUT students.

The Guild’s motto is “Making Student Lives Better,” and we can only make student lives better if we are talking with students. So come and have a chat with us if there’s an issue you’re having at QUT, or if you just need a friendly face to have a coffee with. You can find us on Level 2 of C Block at Kelvin Grove Campus. Please come and have a chat; our doors are always open.

Thank you for grabbing a copy of our student publication, Glass . We have some amazing writers at QUT and it is a privilege to give them a platform and an outlet for their creativity beyond their respective degrees. I am incredibly proud of the work and dedication the Glass Editors have put into this magazine, and I’m sure you will be too after reading.

Nais tuke (thank you)!

hian hangaround who recently cheated on ant wife academic misconduct that involves g a third party an figure skater. Broken knee. Crowbar. + doping Bridget Jones thought Mark Darcy was with when she stormed into his house and ly interrupted a work

Across 2. Kardashi an hangaround who recently cheated on his pregnant wife. 4. Type of academic misconduct that involves employing a third party. 5. American figure skater. Broken knee. Crowbar. 6. Cyclist + doping 8. Woman Bridget Jones thought Mark Darcy was sleeping with when she stormed into his house and accidentally interrupted a work meeting.

Crossword Puzzle

Created

Down

Down

1. Favourite tool for cheating of the Australian team 3. Some say cheating is just as bad a physical cheating 7. English singer who cheated on Ed Sheera

1. Favourite cheating tool of the Australian cricket team. 3. Some say_________ cheating is just as bad as physical cheating.

7. English singer who cheated on Ed Sheeran.

Trump Tweet Fill In

Help! Donald Trump’s t weets have been deleted after his account was wiped! He needs YOU to help him complete these tweets from 2012:

Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a and will do it again-just watch. He can do much better!

Robert I’m getting a lot of heat for saying you should dump Kristen- but I’m right. If you saw the you would reconsider.

Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be Robert.

QUT’s Access Equity Plan, and Why You Should Know About It

TOM LOUDON

Every month, the Student Misconduct Committee (SMC) meets to decide the academic fate of QUT students accused of misconduct. The Committee’s function is threefold– to determine whether misconduct has occurred, to make a recommendation to the registrar as to how this misconduct should be punished, and to inform students where to go for support in the future so that they do not end up in front of the Committee again.

For the last six months I have sat as one of the two student representatives on the SMC, and have been required to make judgments based on the matrix provided by the University. Difficult to find on any of QUT’s online services, this matrix ties the hands of Committee members to specific penalties for most cases of misconduct, including non-academic fraud.

Nearly 90% of cases in the past year have centred fraudulent documentation –usually a doctor’s certificate – attached to applications for extensions. Fraud of this nature necessitates a failure of the unit and a six month ban from the University, which is sad given that most people who edit documents to apply for an extension would have actually been eligible for an extension but didn’t know how to apply.

Whether you’re starting in semester one or you’re entering your final semester, it is worth knowing about the Access Equity Plan offered by QUT.

What is the Access Equity Plan?

The Access Equity Plan is a service offered to QUT students with an illness or disability in need of academic assistance and concessions. This usually includes deadline extensions, and is available to anyone who is experiencing a physical or mental, short-term or long-term, health condition (including pregnancy). All that is required is a diagnosis from a doctor.

I got in touch with QUT Student Guild Advocacy Officer Anna Wilson, who said the plan is adjusted to suit the student.

‘An Access Equity Plan is designed to best support the student with whatever health condition they may be experiencing,’ Wilson said.

‘If mental health and time management are problems (like for me), they can receive automatic extensions, additional time in exams or altered exam conditions (like completing it alone if you have performance anxiety).’

‘You need to get an AEP at the start of every semester, they do not transfer over, as health conditions can change and they like to meet with you to ensure your AEP best supports you.’

‘Students simply need to contact the Disability Advisors within QUT Equity – and there are advisors specific to each faculty – so they can design a plan that best supports your degree.’

Students can get in contact with this service by emailing student.disability@qut.edu.au, or at the on-campus locations below.

Phone: (07) 3138 5601

Gardens Point: Student Support Services, X Block, Level 3

Kelvin Grove: Equity Services, C Block, Level 4, Room C301

To contact the Student Guild Advocacy officers, email them at advocacy@qutguild.com.

So, you’ve been accused of misconduct

Every student should remember that fraud of any kind is a serious crime outside of University, and QUT tends to come down hard. This means you should not under any circumstances alter a legal document, like a medical certificate, in the hopes of being granted an extension.

That being said, if you are called before the Student Misconduct Committee, there are some things to remember.

1. Get in contact with the Student Guild’s advocacy team.

It’s like lawyering up. Advocates know the system well and are your best friend. The Student Guild doesn’t charge for their services, and they can even join you in your hearing if you prefer.

2. The penalty matrix requires evidence to overturn the accusation.

If you have been accused of misconduct by the University, it means they believe they have sufficient evidence to prove it. If you have not committed the misconduct outlined, you should ensure you have some kind of evidence to refute the University’s claim.

3. Doubling down is not going to help.

As mentioned, the Committee has already received the University’s evidence of your misconduct. If you have committed this misconduct, it is important to acknowledge your actions and be honest with the Committee. Playing dumb is also a bad tactic, and won’t endow you with sympathy.

4. If you believe there are extenuating circumstances behind your case, get evidence.

It’s possible you’ll be able to sway the Committee by explaining some of your circumstances, but this won’t cut it alone. Get documentation. If you have been battling a mental illness at the time of the alleged misconduct, get a doctor’s note signed. If someone else has submitted a document on your behalf, get a statement from them (or better yet, bring them to your hearing). Anyone can say anything, and words alone are not going to convince the Committee.

5. Any additional material should be provided BEFORE your hearing.

If you have documentation that could impact your penalty, the time to share it with the Committee is before your hearing. This means responding to the emails from the Committee secretary, and forwarding relevant documents before you meet with the Committee. This gives the Committee members time to consider your case, and will give you the best chance.

6. Show up to your hearing. Even if it’s via Zoom, showing up is key to presenting your case.

If you don’t show up, you have no control over the Committee’s feelings and discussion surrounding your case, and likely won’t receive any additional leniency.

In my observations on the SMC, many students would have been eligible for some kind of special consideration or extension legitimately, but didn’t know about the services offered by QUT. If you in any way think you may be eligible for the Access Equity Plan, you should consider inquiring today.

If in doubt, never edit any documents. Even if you believe there was a clerical error on your doctor’s end. The fraud itself is misconduct, not the circumstances of the fraud. Remember that the Committee members are academics, professors, and students, and any way you can help them help you is to your own advantage.

The NUS and Student Welfare

BILLY ZIMMERMANN

Greetings from the 2022 NUS Welfare Department.

My name is Billy, and I am proud to have been elected as the National Welfare Officer for 2022. The National Union of Students is the peak representative body for all tertiary education students in the country. The Welfare Department has a proud history of tackling issues around mental health, student finances, and your studying rights and support. The QUT Student Guild is an affiliate of the NUS and we are proud to have your support in our campaigns.

In 2022, the Welfare Department will be continuing our Change the Age Campaign advocating that the Age of Independence should be reduced from 22 to 18. The Change the Age Campaign is an incredibly important fight and having the support from students and their student unions from across the country means

a lot. As it stands, the Age of Independence is 22, meaning that many students are unable to claim Centrelink due to their age. Even if they are eligible, young people have to go through a long and arduous process to prove their parents do not earn enough money. If your parents earn too much money, even if they do not support you or if you live out of home, you are not eligible for youth allowance.

This policy is ageist. Young people are allowed to join the army, vote, drink, and are expected to pay the same amount of tax as everyone else but are not considered independent for welfare purposes. This can limit a student or an apprentice’s access to a safety net while studying, as they can be denied access to income support based on a parent, caregiver or partner’s income - even if they live out of home. This just isn’t fair. Young people already face lower wages and an incredible amount of anxiety regarding the future.

Denying income support to young people under 22 puts their ability to start or continue their studies at risk, and can have a more fundamental impact on their ability to afford basics like rent, food, and medicine. Lowering the Age of Independence to 18 will mean that students can focus on their studies if they struggle to find enough work, rather than having to discontinue their studies or stay in unsafe housing if they can’t afford to pay their basic living costs. And it’s not like work for young people is particularly glamorous either, we have an epidemic of underemployment and casualisation making it incredibly difficult to find stable work. Even if work is found, young people disproportionately face wage theft and are the subject of unfair youth wages.

This is why the NUS has been running and will be doubling down on our campaign to #changetheage.

In 2021 we received more than 13,000 signatures on a petition to parliament and some of the testimonials we received are heartbreaking to read.

One student told us that they were struggling with homelessness, continually couch-surfing just to have somewhere to sleep. They left their home due to abusive parents and have not spoken with them for more than a year. As they are 19 and feel unsafe with their parents, they are unable to have them fill out the form even if they do not earn enough.

A few young people told us that they had to stop their studies because they were ineligible for government support despite living out of home and paying their own rent. Decisions like this impact young people’s entire future. We know the importance of study for someone’s career, yet this government is letting down an entire generation by forcing them to choose between study and being able to afford the cost of living.

Young people shouldn’t have to choose between studying and entering the workforce without their qualifications. We know that the welfare system is broken but this is an area that is seemingly so riddled with bureaucracy and arbitrary rules, it is impossible for young people to get the support they deserve.

The bureaucracy is also a problem for students who are LGBTIQA+ or live in abusive or even strict households. The parental restrictions on claiming Youth Allowance are clearly ridiculous but to claim the payment, even if eligible, your parents need to declare their income to Centrelink. Now, I am not 100% sure how this works now but when I initially claimed Youth Allowance in my first year of university, my mum had to fill out a several page booklet asking for her information. I had to collect this after lining up at Centrelink, getting my CRN and all the other steps for a first-time welfare recipient. I am lucky enough to have a good relationship with my mum but for many including those the NUS have surveyed, this is a hard step. Parents are often not accepting of their children’s sexuality or life choices so they do not do the service of filling out a form. Many families are abusive or otherwise negligent to their adult children, making it harder for 18-21 year olds to receive their rights.

In these situations, the government says that there is an exception but to get to that point the government asks for expansive evidence to be provided. We have seen this take the form of Centrelink enforcing psychological evaluations, requesting police reports, and other bureaucratic hurdles that delay young people getting the support they deserve. These requests often happen when the young person is no longer in stable housing and are in no position to navigate the obstacle course imposed on them.

Enter the NUS. Last year we identified this as a campaign we could make meaningful change through. We gathered more than 13,000 signatures and received testimonials from hundreds of young people. 2022 is an election year. Students are a hugely important part of the electorate. The only way that we are going to get the change we desire is to build up the momentum to force the government’s hand, or to get commitments from the opposition. We tabled our petition in July of last year and despite the Minister being forced to reply to it, we have not received a response yet. We know that the Government does not care about young people and that is why the NUS is campaigning every day to rebalance the scales in favour of students.

Queensland is a key battleground for the Government. ScoMo cannot hope to hold onto power without the support of young people like you reading this. The NUS is ramping up our campaign in the lead-up to the federal election saying that students should not support candidates who support the Age of Independence remaining at 22. I encourage all students to follow the NUS Welfare Department on Facebook as well as signing our petition so you can stay in the loop with our campaign.

If anybody would like to reach out, tell your story, or learn how you can get in touch with our campaign, please do not hesitate to email the Welfare Department on welfare@nus.asn.au

My Grandpop; The Pesky Little Thief

ELLA BRUMM

My Grandpop (or Reginald if you’re not his grandchild) is a difficult person to describe. Physically, he looks like he’s endured years of the sweltering Malta sun, has shrunk considerably with age, and has consumed alcohol and bread like his life depended on it (which at times it did). Personality wise, he’s even more difficult to pin down.

He is empathetic when it comes to his very own ‘Marilyn Monroe’ (his wife of 60 years) yet indifferent when refugees are involved. His stories of war and his childhood could captivate a room while simultaneously not allowing anyone else the time to speak. He would stand up for anyone he loves in a heartbeat while also yelling at them for making his tea wrong. One thing I know for sure is he is one of the most generous people I know while also loving his family unconditionally. Perhaps this quality stems from his childhood. He grew up in Malta, a small island in the Mediterranean Sea, between Sicily and the North African coast. His dad was in the navy and his mum cooked, and cleaned whilst raising six children.

The way he describes his childhood house reminds me of The Burrow in Harry Potter; it wasn’t much, but it was home. His mother sounded like a deeply sweet and kind woman, harbouring no resentment or ill will in any fibre of her being. She would make dinner and

ensure every child had enough to fill their tummies before taking a piece for herself. It often sounded like she was the only measured and calm person at their dinner table while the kids swooped in on the middle piece of bread like a flock of vultures feeding on a carcass. I like to believe that a small part of his mother’s love transferred over to Grandpop, and that is why he is so generous to this day.

It may also stem from the War. During this time some people learnt not to let go of anything and hold on to what they have, Grandpop learnt to share his wealth with people who needed it more, and to eat every last scrap off of his dinner plate. World War II began one day after Grandpop’s eleventh birthday.

Malta was the most bombed nation in the world during the War, where there were sometimes up to fifteen raids a day. This became a regular part of their life—scampering to get into bunkers and rationing food. Life was difficult and everyone did what they could to survive. However, Grandpop took the liberty of stealing some irregular items that, in hindsight, he considered to not be ‘entirely necessary’ for survival.

Grandpop and his older brother, Bill, once fashioned a contraption to steal the lemons from the neighbour’s tree. They used two long bamboo sticks and tied separated scissors to the ends so they could reach over the fence. Bill, being the eldest, would climb the fence and place a scoop under the lemon, Grandpop would then chop the branch above. The neighbour was furious when she’d wake to find a bare lemon tree next to the shared fence. Each time without fail, she would yell at Grandpop’s mum in Italian to tell her that her boys were stealing her lemons. Undeterred, Bill and Grandpop continued capitalising on

the stolen lemons to make lemonade for their other neighbours.

On another one of Bill and Grandpop’s misadventures, they ventured over to the neighbour’s house on the other side to steal their goldfish. They’d bring a small scoop and pluck out the fish they wanted, carry them back to their house and put them in their pond. Their neighbour became suspicious when his once fruitful pond was suddenly an empty pool of water.

One time, as Grandpop was walking around the bakery, a bloke asked him to keep an eye on his truck while he went to the toilet. The truck was filled with loaves of bread. To Grandpop, a hungry boy who probably hadn’t eaten a meal in a day or two, he saw that truck of bread as a pile of gold.

The truck driver came back to find no Grandpop and a few buckets of missing bread. He ate two loaves of bread in one sitting and proceeded to vomit it all back up only a few hours later. Luckily, he had a few more loaves under his belt.

While this may seem like a slander piece against my Grandpop, I choose to think of it as a heartfelt recount of the silly things he got up to when he was younger. I’ve always loved hearing his stories even if he interrupted someone else to share them. I often wonder what kind of person he was before the War before he moved to Australia and married and had children. These stories tell me that he was a mischievous little kid who had a great love for his family and also for getting on other people’s nerves. Even if Grandpop occasionally swiped the odd item here and there, I certainly don’t begrudge him for it and am actually quite impressed that he can recall those memories like they were yesterday.

READ ONLINE AT QUTGLASS.COM

Last Night in Soho: Review

TOM LOUDON

Content warning: This review addresses themes of violence against women and sexual assault.

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

A psychological thriller split between the current day and the swinging 60s, Last Night in Soho’s characters are linked by place: London –or more specifically, London’s famous red-light district. We meet Ellie (Thomasin McKenzie), a shy teenager from Cornwall who moves to London to pursue fashion design. Ellie, who

lives mostly in her head, is obsessed with the iconography of what she sees as London’s golden age. Her vintage style, records, and demeanor land her on the outer with her university dorm mates, and she winds up renting from a strict landlady, Ms Collins (Diana Rigg).

On her first night in her new place, Ellie experiences a series of vivid dreams in which she is transported through time to the Café de Paris in the 1960s. In these dreams she watches

a confident young woman, Sandie (Anya TaylorJoy), enquire about becoming a singer at the club. She meets her eventual manager and boyfriend, Jack (Matt Smith), who at first seems to be her in to the London nightclub scene.

But things soon take a turn in Ellie’s dreams, and she begins to spend her waking hours obsessing over Sandie’s fate. ‘This is London,’ Ms Collins insists when Ellie asks whether someone has ever died in her room, ‘people have died in every room.’

The film brings the 1960s to life through its impressive use of sound and cinematography, and some fantastic casting. Soho is clever and stylish in its first half hour, but the plot’s gradual evolution into horror sacrifices the established atmosphere of sci-fi/fantasy nostalgia, in favour of stale shock value. It is, at times, so confidently transparent that it gets too far away from its premise and can’t be brought back.

Sandie functions as a refuge for the lifeless Ellie, whose erratic actions become increasingly difficult for the viewer to rationalise. She is rendered completely passive by a plot that moves without her, and her turbulent, disturbed actions aim for sympathy but only elicit cringe.

This is all meant to play off of moving – and obvious – themes about ambitious creatives and their personal crises, but Wright’s ideas about women and ambition never make it into focus. The resulting patchwork of traumatic memories fails to develop its inhabitants beyond unmoving archetypes.

Soho also has a problem with subtlety. Wright uses a tracking shot to follow Sandie out of a nightclub and into a parent’s worst nightmare scenario that doesn’t work as a revelation or as a shock. These moments act as an exclamation mark after conspicuous themes like Fallen Woman and Betrayal , but ultimately get in the way of any interesting storytelling.

Wright, as in his previous work, leans into an upbeat soundtrack which he relies on to cover up the film’s structural cracks. While this may feel unsatisfying, it is certainly effective in establishing a powerful atmosphere for Ellie to become lost within.

It’s striking that a film of such scale can feel so thin on characters. It is eventually revealed that Sandie is in fact Ms Collins, and has murdered several abusive men in her home, and she then opts to try and kill Ellie to preserve her freedom – despite Ellie having lived these traumatic memories herself and being completely supportive of Sandie. The film’s contrived climax then tries to have it both ways when Sandie dies in a fire after letting Ellie go.

This sequence of events erases the bond built between the two characters, as well as audience sympathy for Sandie. A determined woman abused by more powerful men – her arc could have been more compelling than this ending gives her. One wonders who is actually intended to be the bad guy in all this – the abused woman portrayed as a crazy person, or the abusive men portrayed as victims?

One also wonders whether Wright was so preoccupied creating another jukebox film that he forgot to actually write his female characters. The result is a film that wants for an ending … and a point.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SAM HOPE

Wage Theft in Australian Universities Significant And Widespread

TOM LOUDON

Representatives of the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) have alleged over the past several months that wage theft is significant and widespread across the Australian higher education sector, as staff have ‘virtually no protection in terms of standing up for themselves’.

The NTEU made a wage theft claim of $2 million on behalf of 80 casual staff employed in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (FASS) at the University of Sydney on October 15th, but union officials warn this is only representative of national trends.

Dr Damien Cahill, the NTEU New South Wales Secretary says the claim is indicative of a rampant issue in higher education.

‘Casual staff are regularly not paid for all of the work they do, yet this work is essential for the functioning of universities,’ Dr Cahill said in a statement.

‘Both the Fair Work Ombudsman and the university regulator TEQSA (Tertiary Education Quality and Standards Agency), have begun to take notice of wage theft in universities.

“The management attitude of ‘there’s nothing to look at here” is totally inadequate and insulting to casual staff.

‘University management need to own up to the problem of wage theft, pay casual staff their historic back dues, and take meaningful steps to substantially increase secure jobs within the sector.’

University mismanagement as a principal cause of improper remuneration is echoed by Dr Cahill’s Queensland counterpart, Michael McNally, who said that technical and professional staff also suffer from stolen wages.

‘The University of Melbourne paid more than $9.5 million in September to more than 1,000 casual academics, Monash [University], and RMIT are now having to make similar payments,’ McNally said to Glass.

Universities

‘If they want work next semester, they don’t cause a fuss this semester, which is why the sector is so casualised.

‘Staff conditions are effected by university management decisions and these decisions need to be scrutinised.

‘Universities are still building shiny new business things and buildings in the middle of a crisis.’ Dr Cahill says union pressure is the only thing realistically documenting wage theft in the sector.

‘Wage theft in the sector is in the tens of millions of dollars.

‘The University of Sydney, University of New South Wales, University of Melbourne, and Monash University, among many others have all admitted to theft and are currently back paying.

‘So, you can see it’s significant sums of money occurring at multiple institutions.’

McNally noted that Queensland University of Technology staff have consistently made similar complaints.

‘This doesn’t mean that QUT is deliberately underpaying casual staff, but we know from experience that casual staff don’t get paid for all the hours they do.

‘The expectation is they work without pay, when marking assessment for instance, and that constitutes wage theft.

‘We expect staff to be ready to teach but they have virtually no protection in terms of standing up for themselves.

‘This is evidenced by the universities’ own annual reports, and by the NSW auditor general’s report into the university sector.

‘University regulators TEQSA and the Fair Work ombudsman both say wage theft is a problem.

‘At the University of Sydney, staff are not receiving their entitlements under the enterprise agreement for a period of six years, specifically academic casuals in the faculty of arts.

‘They’re not being paid for work performed, for things like consultations, emails, lectures, and meetings – things casuals are required to do for their job but are not compensated or not being paid at the appropriate rate.

‘[They] should be paid for all hours worked.

a re still building shiny new business things and buildings in the middle of a crisis.

‘The current piece-rate-formula is around 6000 words per hour and doesn’t reflect the time it takes to do the marking.

‘Management are trying to cut corners and cut costs by sweating tutors with marking and making them mark assignments much more quickly.

‘They can be directed to not spend more than a certain amount of time or not provide comments.

‘If a tutor were marking for the piece-rateformula they would not be able to provide feedback to students, which is what they should be doing and what students expect and what is required.’

Dr Cahill also noted that the back payment at the University of Sydney only covered a small section of the workforce.

‘The backpay agreements that have been reached are for professional staff only, like librarians, not tutors.’

Wage theft and improper remuneration have been issues for Queensland teaching staff, including at the Queensland University of Technology.

QUT Creative Industries lecturer and NTEU member Dr Rohan Wilson agreed that unions are a significant benefit for staff.

‘Union membership is one of the few barriers we still have that protect us from corporate greed and wealth inequality,’ Dr Wilson said to Glass.

‘The rules around the correct rates of pay and the correct workloads for sessional staff are vague and subject to arbitrary alteration.

‘In my time at QUT, I’ve seen the conditions for sessional academics change almost every year.

‘For example, the amount that’s paid to tutors for marking has gone up and down several times.

‘We’ve tried to standardise this across the School of Creative Practice, with some success, so it’s much fairer now than it used to be.

‘But for many years, staff were not being paid fairly for marking.

‘I’ve also seen other entitlements be removed, such as the allowance for new sessional staff to catch up on the learning material in a unit.

‘The problem is that the University has the power to change the working conditions for tutors almost at leisure, without much consultation.

‘The University is constantly looking for ways to wring more productivity from its staff and that results in a lot of friction.

‘The various Heads of School, the Deans and Assistant Deans, as middle managers with budget responsibilities, they’re prepared to eat away at workload standards and norms in order to find a few percentage points of cost saving.

‘The corporatisation of universities has lead to this culture … just like our worst corporations, universities in Australia want to foster a sense of never-ending crisis or emergency for workers.

The corporatisation of universities has lead to this culture … just like our worst corporations, universities in Australia want to foster a sense of never-ending crisis or emergency for workers.

‘It results in less experienced staff teaching classes and less commitment from the staff to doing the job properly.

‘Casual staff know they’re not sticking around.

‘Why create new teaching material that you might not even get to use, why revise old curriculums that you might not ever teach again, why make changes based on student feedback when you won’t get to see the results of that change, casualisation is destructive — it destroys goodwill, hope, and ambition among staff.

‘[Universities] would rather invest money into new facilities or higher rates of pay for Vice Chancellors than into their teaching staff.’

Dr Wilson also noted the importance of students in advocating for staff welfare, urging students to support staff who go on strike.

‘If academic staff are planning strike action, it’s because they know that the proposed changes to their working conditions are going to affect students negatively.

“Students should always be just as angry as university staff about cuts … it’s the student experience that suffers when staff are given less time to do their jobs properly.’

McNally however lamented that student unions are drastically under resourced.

‘They need the will of management to survive,’ McNally said.

‘But staff working conditions are student learning conditions.

‘Workforce struggling to get work done means students won’t have a good experience.

‘The working conditions of staff has a direct impact on the learning experience of students.’

Former QUT Student Guild President Olivia Brumm echoed this sentiment, noting that student learning conditions rely on staff working environments.

‘Many lecturers and tutors are so passionate about higher education and the learning experience of the students they teach but issues like casualisation, under resourcing, and excessive workloads mean they’re not able to dedicate the appropriate attention and time to teaching students because they’re not fairly remunerated,’ Brumm said.

‘It is completely immoral that some staff are being told that they should have known that any duties performed outside of a really narrow scope would be considered “voluntary”.’ READ ONLINE AT QUTGLASS.COM

7 Habits of a Sigma Male

PAT RIARCHY

Sigma Males are innovative and misunderstood men, and are extremely attractive to wom*n because of their fierce independence.

They are also the rarest type of male, distinguishable from the common Alpha Male by their solitude and self-reliability. Sigma’s are quiet and confident creators, business owners, usually World of Warcraft pros, who could have any wom*n they want, but simply choose not to, because wom*n are a poor investment.

That’s the Sigma Male Grindset.

Think you might be a Sigma Male? See if any of their usual habits apply to you.

1. You go left when everyone else goes right.

Some people call you a contrarian. You just call yourself the Devil’s Advocate. Trusting yourself even in the face of confronting evidence is the most important trait of a Sigma Male, and you aren’t ashamed to be the outcast if it means standing by your convictions.

2. If anyone is even slightly annoying, you leave immediately.

It’s important to you that you don’t waste your time on things that don’t feed your desire to be your best self. If a blue-haired female corners you at a party and forces you to talk about gender politics, you make a point to exit the conversation as rudely as possible. When your mutual friend informs you the next day that she was trying to flirt with you, you inform them that you don’t have time to talk to wom*n.

3. Your favourite film is Drive.

A common misconception is that the best Sigma Male film is Joker, but this is actually a popular Incel film. As a voluntary celibate, you see yourself much better reflected by Ryan Gosling in Drive. He is cool, calm, and could get wom*n if he wanted but is too focused on being a cool guy. A real human being.

4. If you don’t believe in something you aggressively argue for it anyway and waste everyone else’s energy.

While this may seem like playing the Devil’s Advocate, you are actually just asserting your argumentative dominance. Sigmas are excellent debaters and must hone their skills regularly. When doing this, it is best to make it clear to those around you who they’re dealing with.

5. You read Ayn Rand daily.

If anyone calls you a wom*n hater, you remind them that your favourite writer is a female. Checkmate, feminazis.

6. You are aggressive towards other Sigmas. The radical-woke left would have you believe that this is because you are seeing your awful personality reflected back at you, and you don’t like it. Not true. When lone wolves get together there will naturally be tension and conflict. It’s called testosterone, and it’s made in your balls. Look it up, feminists.

7. You treasure peak physical performance.

Whenever you have a thought about how awful your life may be, and how disappointed your parents probably are, you head straight to the gym. Pumping iron is what people mean when they tell you to work on yourself, and you’ll be as big as a Chad as soon as you find the right protein powder.

If you scored a 5 or higher on this questionnaire, please get in contact with the Gazette for an upcoming case study.

READ ONLINE AT QUTGLASS.COM

Like satire? Submit your headline to the gazette here: media@qut.com.au

Agriope Argentata

NICOLA FRASSETTO

You hang from drapes of web, venom beading where your chelicerae touch. An abdomen ridged with nickel silver and legs shaping the eight of spades. Your audience bumbles with the frenzy of propagation, in love with your zigzag stitch and ultraviolet alleyways woven from silk, and your pincers click like a swinging pendulum, spooling your watcher in the loving twine of bedsheets. Your eyes, your body are fateless, and gravity makes exceptions for you who is without guilt. You genius. You thief.

I’m having a love affair with the moon

WRITTEN BY SHELBY LEE

it was h armless at ten as i swung my legs from the balcony at sunset, bewitched eyes on a clam dusk because a fool murmured, wish on cracked gold, but i’m not ten anymore, the decaying wood reminds me, never letting me sit comfortably without a cushion of baby fat to protect my bones

i lap from a bottle and fumble a call to the one love i have shown any commitment, to mumble about pataphysics and how our wretched language mangles merdre, like my shikt habits exhibited in all the obvious places, like under my eyes and in dead rodents on my pillowcases

yet my dear comes without expectations without baggage without trust for which i’m most unfamiliar, they understand how some nights my eyes can’t bare perception but with the tide’s inevitability, will return their embrace until my bleached-coral flesh is only recognisable in their apathetic glow.

Cheats of Wall Street

YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD CRYPTOMAN

When we hear the word ‘cheat’, we tend to think of infidelity, sports doping scandals, and elaborate schemes involving casino card games. But, in fact, the greatest examples of cheating in history involve the seemingly legitimate gains made on financial markets.

Take for example, Bernie Madoff, a man who at one time was chairman of the NASDAQ stock exchange. In 2009, Madoff was convicted for swindling clients out of approximately $64 billion USD through an elaborate Ponzi scheme, the largest convicted act of fraud on record. Fraud on this scale would not be possible in any other industry, as the complex nature and enormous scale of financial markets makes identifying such scams difficult.

The subjective and volatile returns involved with trading on financial markets leaves plenty of room for scepticism from competitors and leniency from regulatory bodies, making it the ideal playground for would-be grifters. In Madoff’s case, his fraud had been identified by many in the industry as early as 1999 – the Securities Exchange Commission (SEC) was informed, but no action was taken for nearly a decade due to the high esteem in which many in the finance industry held Madoff.

So, who are the biggest cheaters in finance history, what is the point of these highly elaborate, convoluted markets, and who is it that benefits the most?

Albert H. Wiggin

From way back to 1929 comes the story of one of the OG financial fraudsters, although calling Albert H. Wiggin a fraud may be a bit unfair considering his actions were completely legal at the time.

Wiggin came from an affluent family and used his connections and knowledge to work his way up to the head of Chase National Bank. As an executive of the bank, Wiggin owned a considerable number of Chase Bank shares.

Shares are a foundational security in financial markets, representing a unit of equity (ownership) in a corporation, entitling a share owner to a portion of any leftover profits made by the company, called dividends

Wiggin used his position to encourage Chase Bank to re-purchase its shares while simultaneously, short selling his personal shares to the bank through a Canadian shell Company he owned.

Short selling means selling a security that you do not own and re-purchasing and returning the security to its owner later, retaining any profits or losses from the change in price of the security over this period. Someone looking to make a profit will short a stock when they expect its price to decrease.

A shell company is a corporation without active business operations or considerable assets. Although not strictly illegal, they are often used illegitimately to disguise business ownership and hide transactions or avoid taxation.

Wiggin shorted over 42,000 of his own shares, giving him a vested interest in ensuring Chase Bank’s stock value plummeted.

You may ask – ‘how did he know it was going to plummet?’. Well, it wasn’t so much that he knew it was going to plummet, but more the fact that he was in a position to directly influence and manipulate the direction of the company by making sure it made poor investments and bad business decisions to ensure the company’s stocks decreased in value and his shorts increased in value. The Wall Street Crash was purely coincidental, but it just so happened that his bank was considerably exposed, possibly intentionally.

After the Wall Street Crash of 1929, Wiggin saw his opportunity to cash out as investors closed out their positions in the market. He made over $4 million tax-free (equivalent to $65.2 million today) completely legally through these trades. In the aftermath of the crash, and Wiggin’s coverage in the media, this form of insider trading was outlawed by the SEC.

R. Foster Winans

Winans, like myself, was a columnist, although unlike me he worked for the Wall Street Journal (cringe). Between 1982 and 1984, Winans wrote a column called Heard on the Street, in which he profiled certain stocks. Interestingly, the price of the stocks that Winans analysed would swing noticeably up or down based on his opinion.

Knowing this, Winans leaked the contents of his column early to a group of stockbrokers, who then purchased favourable positions in the stock before the article was published. This resulted in total gains of over $700,000. Although skilled in stock analysis, Winans clearly lacked the backbone or skill to negotiate, receiving only $31,000 for his contribution to the scheme.

During his trial, Winans argued that his actions did not necessarily constitute insider trading as the definition was broad. This argument did not appear to be effective as Winans was sentenced to 18 months in prison, serving nine before his release.

Martha ‘M. Diddy’ Stewart

You may have heard that the domestic goddess Martha Stewart served time in federal prison, where she self-reportedly received the nickname ‘M. Diddy’ by fellow inmates. But what is less commonly known is that she was convicted for insider trading. Stewart was invested in a pharmaceutical company called ImClone. ImClone had recently seen an increase in their stock price because of their announcement of a new cancer drug they had developed called Erbitux, which was awaiting FDA approval.

Owning shares in a company entitles one to a portion of residual profits, paid as dividends. The market value of a share is commonly measured by the predicted value of future dividends and is tied closely to the expected financial performance of the company. This basically translates to: good news = an increase in stock value, bad news = a decrease in stock value.

Unexpectedly however, Erbitux was denied approval by the FDA, tanking ImClone’s stock value. But in a suspicious turn of events, none of ImClone’s executives or their close connections saw any great losses. An investigation into the matter found that prior to the FDA announcement, the CEO of ImClone, Samuel Waksal, had instructed numerous people to sell their shares in the company, including Stewart’s stockbroker. It is alleged that Waksal knew ahead of time that the drug was not going to be approved (though how he knew this was unclear), and encouraged all his buddies to abandon ship and sell their shares while the price was just about at its peak. Stewart was informed and made the decision to sell 4,000 of her shares, netting herself a tidy $250,000. She was later embroiled in the scandal, serving five months in prison and required to pay a $30,000 fine.

M. Diddy eventually resigned from her position as CEO of her own company, but the ensuing clout and dope nickname saw her develop a close relationship with rapper Snoop Dogg.

However, finance is a zero-sum game; there are always winners and losers. The reality for the individual people on the losing side of their trades could have resulted in the loss of someone’s life savings, prevented a small business from retaining staff, left a family with no deposit for a house or a range of other devastating outcomes. But unsurprisingly, aside from Madoff, for each of these cheaters, the whiter they were and the more money they harnessed from their respective crimes, the less amount of time they spent in jail –highlighting the unfairness and disparities in justice that wealth and power can bring.

These frauds emphasise the ease at which these convoluted markets can be manipulated and bring into question the purpose they serve and for whom. A person who has studied finance would say that they provide a means for investment, liquidity, diversification, risk reduction, and a plethora of other fancy words that are meaningless and inapplicable to most people. In reality, they supposedly drive our economies and financial markets. However, they also act as a playground for the uber rich fraudsters while excluding marginalised people from even getting a foot in the door. It is the ultimate indicator of how rules are unfairly applied to the poor and powerless – during booms, gains are hoarded but wages stagnate, and during recessions, losses are socialised, and jobs are lost.

For each of these fraudsters, their influence and connection allowed them to effortlessly take advantage of the financial markets that drive our economy. From the outside, it seems they committed relatively victimless crimes, despite injuring a faceless corporation.

Whether you are an experienced trader or considering your first investment, keep in mind these markets exist almost exclusively for large corporations and the ultra-wealthy. To the average person they are no more than a game of chance at a casino.

Behind the New Grove Bar Mural

CLAIRE WALLACE AND TOM LOUDON

ARTWORK BY CLAIRE WALLACE

As of March 2022, the Grove Bar at Kelvin Grove will be a bit more colourful, thanks to a beautiful new mural by QUT student Claire Wallace.

Wallace’s winning entry in the QUT Student Guild’s art competition was selected to be included in the Grove Bar’s redesign this year and is open to the public from March. I caught up with the muralist to find out a little more about this design.

What do you study at QUT and how long have you been a student?

I am currently in my final year of studying a Master of Teaching (Secondary), following on from graduating from a Bachelor of Fine Arts (Visual Arts) in 2019.

What inspired elements of your design?

I was inspired by the Grove Bar logo – I wanted to stick to a familiar theme for the mural that would fit in with the pre-existing feel of the bar, so I took inspiration and used similar elements from the logo provided on the competition page to create a mural design that I felt suited the space, but in my own artistic style. I added my own versions of characteristics of the logo (such as various fruits, bird wings, and plants), in a style that makes it look like they’re flowing off the words “Grove Bar”, to create a type of movement and bring a burst of zest to the space. I also mimicked the logo colouring on my design as I feel the colours reflect the essence of the Grove Bar – tropical, vibrant and welcoming.

Have you installed murals before? What kind of professional artistic experience have you had to date?

I have always had a keen interest in street art and mural work; however, this will be my first mural. Due to graduating just before the COVID-19 pandemic started, my professional experience as an artist is limited, however I have had the wonderful experience of teaching art classes during my first professional experience as a pre-service teacher, as well as gallery and collaborative experiences I gained in my undergraduate degree. I look forward to gaining more artistic experiences as my practice expands and throughout the installation of this mural.

What do you feel the Grove Bar means to QUT students?

In my experience, the Grove Bar reflects a space where QUT students can de-stress after classes, celebrate after completing big assessment pieces or exams, or just spend some time with their friends and peers to get to know each other. I hope that my mural design will make it an even more enjoyable place to be.

How do you see your design impacting the space of the Grove Bar?

I see my design bringing a colour pop to the space, brightening the bar and creating something fun and vivid for students to look at as they spend time in the Grove Bar. I also want it to create a welcoming atmosphere and to be able to reflect the diversity of what QUT students can bring to influence their campus and how to interact with it.

A GLASSIE’S GUIDE TO

Infidelity

CIARAN GREIG

Welcome Glassies, to your guide to life. This series takes a deep dive into all your pressing need-toknows (how to contact your local MP, how to make the perfect cocktail and how to get over your ex, goddamnit) and offers comprehensive guides so that you can live your Best Glassie Life™.

This edition is A Glassie’s Guide to Infidelity.

This week, my friend Nina sent me a message.

‘I have something to tell you,’ it read.

Juicy, right? Completely tantalising.

The something was this: Nina had slept with someone. I know what you’re thinking. Good for Nina??

The problem, however is Nina has a boyfriend. The same boyfriend she also had on Monday night, when she drank herself silly and invited another woman home and into her bed. Important context to this story is that Nina and her boyfriend are in a monogamous relationship, and this was way beyond the boundaries that they were both comfortable with in the relationship.

When Nina called me a few days ago, we were both still in shock that it had even happened. ‘I still don’t even feel like it’s real,’ she said to me. We both blinked at each other, silent.

It made me wonder. How do we move on from experiences like this, both when you are the cheater and when you have been cheated on? Is there a right way to navigate infidelity? What is it like, for those who have never experienced it up close?

And so, with the personal experience of my good friend and your fellow Glassie Nina behind me, and with contributions from Glassies just like yourself, we present A Glassie’s Guide to Infidelity.

Firstly, recognise that cheating means different things to different people. But ultimately: you and your partner’s definition is the only important definition.

When I asked Glassies how they defined infidelity, they had a range of responses for me. My friend Nina said infidelity was ‘kissing or having sex with someone else’. Other Glassies

mentioned that they believed ‘emotionally cheating is no better than physically cheating’ and referenced how hiding your infidelity can constitute cheating itself.

Ultimately, you might have to come to terms with the fact that you and your partner have different definitions of what infidelity is.

For example, you may think that liking photos of half-naked people on Instagram is cool beans, and your partner may find this practice abhorrent and hurtful. Work out for yourself if you believe your relationship can weather the work of coming to terms with your different definitions of infidelity if this is the case. If not, make a point of discussing your boundaries candidly at the start of any new relationship as it blooms.

Be honest.

This second pillar of advice is equally important for both the cheated and the cheater.

Leo Tolstoy once said ‘every lie is a poison’ and this Glassie’s Guide is partial to agree. Dishonesty from either side about how each partner is feeling, what actually happened, and what they want to do next can only be corrosive to yourselves and your relationship in the long run.

Some people might never be completely honest to their partners in the wake of infidelity. If this is you, take a moment to consider what good this practice actually achieves.

Research presented at a convention of the American Psychological Association in 2012 even found that lying less is even linked to better health outcomes.

So do yourself and your partner a favour, and ‘fess up. This may even be the hardest part. Take a deep breath and just do it.

While you’re doing it, it may be helpful to remind yourself to ground your conversation in “I” statements, which ensure that you’re communicating necessary information about how you are feeling, rather than accusations. Understand why it happened.

‘And I looked at her and I thought, what if this never happens to me again? ’

This is what Nina believes was at the crux of her infidelity: a noxious mixture of her unexplored bisexuality and a stupidly high blood alcohol content. Understanding this is not an excuse, but it provides a springboard from Nina to start from as she reflects on her behaviour in therapy and starts to rebuild her trust with her partner.

So, if you were unfaithful to your partner, take some time to explore and come to terms with why it might have happened. This takes a fair bit of self- awareness, and you may not get it right the first time. You might need to enlist a range of resources (below!) to understand the experience and come to terms with it.

This process can also be helpful to those who have been cheated on. Understanding why your partner was unfaithful, despite how trivial their reasons might be, might allow you to get closure on the situation.

You may realise that your partner’s honest reasons for why their infidelity happened don’t align with your values, which can be helpful in itself. If this happens, don’t make excuses for them. This is a sign to move on.

Resources.

There is one piece of advice I dish out liberally and over and over again, like a cold cream on dry winter skin. Start therapy now. Even if you don’t think you need to. Even if, in the context

of this Guide, you haven’t had an experience of infidelity that is troubling you. By taking the time to build up a relationship with a therapist, you are building a solid foundation that you can ground yourself on when life gets complicated. We recommend headspace (the National Youth Mental Health Foundation) which offers affordable or free counselling sessions for young people under the age of 25.

I also highly, highly recommend Cheryl Strayed’s book Tiny Beautiful Things, which is a compilation of essays from Strayed’s time as the advice columnist behind Dear Sugar. The book is tender and achingly beautiful, made up of anonymous readers sharing their most intimate troubles. Strayed responds with compassion and honesty, with stories from her own life intricately woven through. It is a balm for the heart.

Esther Perel, the Belgian psychotherapist, is also renowned as an expert in this area. I’d recommend giving her books a squiz, as well as her podcast, Where Should We Begin?, which features recordings of real couples, some of whom have experienced infidelity, as they sit in therapy with Perel.

If you are struggling with the aftermath of infidelity, I’d also recommend reaching out to your friends and family, opening up about what you’re going through, and asking for their support. Remember to be judicious about who you choose to open up to, however. Not everyone will be emotionally available or mature enough to support you fully and without judgement. Look for the ones who are. Infidelity is hard, Glassies. But we know you can wade through these rough waters and swim your way to shore, ready to live your Best Glassie Life™ anew.

A Straight Man’s Guide to the Perfect Tinder Profile

ELLA BRUMM

Hint: you don’t reel in women by having a photo with a fish.

The tips in this guide should go without saying, however, almost every straight man on Tinder continues to ignore the unspoken criteria of what makes a decent human.

The Bio:

1. If you feel the urge to write your height followed by ‘if that matters’ – please don’t. Some girls may prefer men who are taller than them but honestly, it’s not as big an issue as you may think. Just like the size of other things, most women are not overly fussed. It’s truly just a dick-swinging contest between yourselves. Function over size always.

2. Include your pronouns. It signifies respect of other people’s identities and queer women will feel more comfortable knowing you will not assume gender or sexuality just from photos. HOWEVER, if you do this purely to enhance your chances and you’re not committed to doing the work of an ally for the LGBTQIA+ community, we’ll figure it out very quickly.

3. In the same realm, include and learn about the Indigenous land you are living on. Here is a link to the map of Australia’s Traditional Custodians.

6. You’re looking for a person, not your weekly groceries, so please don’t put up a shopping list describing what kind of woman you are looking for. The following is an example from a profile I was blessed with (I wonder whether you can guess which way I swiped): ‘Looking for someone to get along with, must be into fitness, be driven, fun, confident, and actually wants to meet up. Also, must be low to medium maintenance, I’ve dealt with enough psycho women for one life *laugh emoji*’

And if you mention the phrase ‘bonus points’, I hope you know that we are the ones judging you not the other way around.

7. It’s best to include as many talking points in your profile that Tinder will allow that are still quick and easy to read such as, your age, work/study, education, and interests. So maybe you’ll be able to text something other than ‘hey’ because as most women are very aware, y’all are not a fan of that but seem to expect a response back when you do it.

4. Write something short and sweet, introducing yourself in a nonsexual way. Women don’t want to hear jokes about your dick, especially ones you’ve copied from the internet.

5. If you are specifically looking for a relationship, make reference to it in your bio in a casual way.

8. Try to write a cute/funny line – even if it’s objectively not that funny, we’ll still appreciate the effort and the fact that you haven’t used the age old one liners that are filled with sexual innuendos and immediately make us feel uncomfortable.

The Photos:

9. I hate that I have to say this but under ABSOLUTELY NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you include any photos of dead fish in your profile. It doesn’t show you’re adventurous, it is not cool, and there is no cute outfit to wear when fishing. Just please don’t.

10. Same goes with photos of your car. You have a finite number of photos to upload, why are you including one that is not you? Would you like to see a photo of my worm farms or high heel collection? No? Well, that’s how I feel about seeing a photo of your car.

All it says is “when we’re talking in person and I hear a car engine pass, I will immediately stop listening to what you’re saying and watch that car until I can no longer hear it anymore and not think that is rude in any way”. Also, it just screams that you never outgrew the little boy phase of wondering how wheels go round and are somehow still fascinated by that magic (can you tell my ex was into cars??)

11. If all your photos are group photos, I don’t know who you are. I don’t want to do a puzzle. Your profile shouldn’t feel like I’m playing Where’s Wally?. Your first photo should be you (no sunglasses, hats, and I’m going to say it again, ABSOLUTELY NO FISH). Also have at least two group photos to break it up in between.

12. If you want a girl to instantly swipe on you, include a photo of your dog with the bonus of an instant talking point. Nothing is cuter than dogs (and guys by proximity who happen to be in the photo).

To sum up, men please stop with the fish photos. And to the girls, gays, and, theys I highly recommend moving over to Bumble or Hinge . Don’t get me wrong, there’s the occasional man with a fish, but they’re fewer and further between. READ ONLINE AT QUTGLASS.COM

Millie and the

Hearts

CIARAN GREIG

Executive Summary

To Millie, those early breakups were like losing baby teeth: quick, relatively effortless, and often met with enthusiasm by her mother.

To the men she left behind, they were more like the extraction of a wisdom tooth: cavernous, aching, and something that should really have been done under anaesthesia.

Over the past eight months, I have conducted an investigation into the heart and mind of one

I would go as far as to say that we have become friends. But I don’t like her one bit.

I really do understand her a great deal. Accordingly, I now find myself in a position where I can’t help but love her like she is my own sister.

Even though I don’t like her.

Not one little bit.

Further Background

I first heard Millie’s name on the lips of a man I very nearly fell in love with.

I realised later that through the thick lenses of Simon’s sensible glasses, he was superimposing her image onto everything I was: my dark hair; the particular wine my palate craved; the way my thigh felt under his hand. Millie, Simon told me, had recently extracted herself from his life.

She had made a habit leaving her lovers, he said. He took a hand to his face and rubbed at his cheek. He told me about the boyfriend she had before him, and the boyfriend before the boyfriend before him. I imagined a trail of men strewn over a darkened field. Millie in the distance, upright and stalking away.

Simon’s gums were bleeding profusely. The blood rushed from somewhere deep in his mouth and wept down his neck, sliding delicately over each ridge of his Adam’s apple. As we talked, the sides of his mouth frothed softly with weakly concentrated crimson foam. That night we met, that night he said her name

to me for the first time, that night he held me in his arms by the side of a busy road – that was the same night he leaned in and pressed his lips firmly against mine. The blood and foam spread onto my own chin, the sides of my face. Globules of red pigment seeped deep into my pores, staining my skin. I’ve been trying to remove the damn stain ever since.

I looked her up later – Ms Millie Lang (24). And that was where it started. A tiny whisker of curiosity that took root and grew. A central inquiry that twisted, thorn like, around each microscopic synapse in my brain. Why, Millie? For what reason?

I had a picture of Millie in my mind already, painted by Simon’s words. She was callous and reckless. Confused but decisive. Naïve but cunning with the weaponisation of her rosy cheeks. I didn’t understand her. I didn’t like her. I wanted to know more. Millie and I were suddenly, haphazardly, unwittingly entwined.

Methodology

The research methodology used in the production of this report is grounded soundly in opportunity and luck.

It was an accident.

I was not supposed to recognise her when I saw her that day, skulking through the shops with an empty basket hanging from the crook of her arm. But I did. I knew exactly who she was.

I knew her from the photo I had seen of her online. I knew her from the way Simon had described her – short and pretty and brunette. I knew her from the way she walked: barely lifting up her feet. Purposeful, unbothered. Millie.

In my car, with the engine running and the aircon lazily grazing my neck, I waited for her to emerge from the supermarket.

Eventually, she slunk across the carpark carrying two heavy looking plastic bags, the weight of them straining the plastic. I imagined the burden of her purchases drawing out stretch marks on the bag’s handles.

As I drove home, my car stopped in traffic right in front of where Millie was waiting for the bus. It was a hot Saturday afternoon, and the bus shelter was hardly effective in protecting her from the heat. She sat there, squinting into the sun. I rolled down my window and asked if she wanted a lift.

She didn’t hear me the first time. ‘Want a lift?’ I asked again. She frowned at me then, considering my beat-up Barina, and, somehow deciding that I was benign, nodded.

She told me that we were driving to Birdwood Terrace, mumbled a quiet thanks, and pulled out a jar of –artichoke hearts? – from her shopping bags. As we rolled up to a traffic light, I watched as she loosened the tight lid of the jar of artichoke hearts open with one deep, round pop. She dipped her bare hand into the jar and brought an artichoke heart to her lips, swallowing it whole. As she wiped her fingers on her jeans, she caught me looking.

‘You don’t mind, do you?’

I shook my head.

We drove in silence over and down the hills of Jubilee Terrace, through the roundabouts of Bardon, and past Government House. As we reached Frederick Street, with Toowong Cemetery sitting meekly across the way, I cleared my throat.

‘I know your friend Simon, actually.’

She looked up for a moment before submerging her hand back into her second jar of artichoke hearts. The first one was rolling around on the floor of my car, empty after she slurped it of its preservative oil.

‘Oh, he’s not really my friend,’ she said.

Analysis

Millie told me that I should come in.

She lived in a dilapidated Queenslander rented from a great aunt. She didn’t seem to mind that it smelled of rotting wood and gecko poo. We sat together on wooden chairs on her back deck, feet submerged in a kid-sized paddling pool.

‘I know this is weird, but I just don’t understand you at all,’ I said.

Millie smiled for the first time. She looked me in the eyes kindly. She still said nothing.

‘I want to understand,’ I said.

She held my gaze. I felt a pain blooming somewhere in the back of my throat, as if I were about to cry. What was it about being so close to this woman whom I found so incredibly strange that made me want to weep?

Millie kicked her feet in the water. Her feet were more delicate than mine: long toes with delicately shaped toenails painted red.

I waited.

Findings

Sometimes, Millie said, she wondered why she did it. Over and over again.

She told me that her sister was getting married at Easter. Millie said she could have been married five times by now. She had even asked one of her boyfriends to marry her once, only

to break off the engagement five months later. She had proposed to him on impulse, one rainy afternoon when the thought occurred to her. She had thought she wanted it. She was wrong.

‘I don’t really know why I do it,’ she said, looking at me with her eyes the colour of shiny cockroach bodies. She didn’t say this with any particular concern or worry. It was just an observation. A neutral statement of fact. As in:

The sky is blue.

The grass is green.

Homebrand milk is always priced at a dollar-a-litre.

Millie makes men fall in love with her and then she breaks their hearts and has no clue why.

‘You’ve thought about it though?’

Millie shrugged.

She said the last time she had been on a date she had taken care to observe herself.

The way she smiled and made jokes and pushed her hair behind her ear and asked thoughtful questions and touched the man lightly on the leg. She monitored the way he responded, at first cautious, then enthusiastic. Leaning back, returning touches, smiling before she reached the punch line of her jokes.

Millie said she marked the date as a success the moment he tried to kiss her.

‘So maybe that’s why,’ she said to me. ‘Because I can.’

I looked at Millie. Of course she could. She was a cis-woman, young, and on the surface, uncomplicated. Millie was smart and kind and generous with her smiles. The men were attracted to her on a basic level, at a pheromonal, hormonal, physical level. All she

had to do was dress herself, doll-like, and add a dash of enthusiasm.

Millie said that by the time she broke up with Simon, her friends had stopped calling and texting to ask if she was ok when they heard about yet another failed relationship. ‘And to be honest,’ she said, scrunching up her nose, ‘I actually prefer it like that.’ She said there was something about her friends’ tenderness, the way they handled her so carefully in the wake of a relationship ending, that made her feel nauseous.

The summer she broke up with Simon was the same summer she started eating artichoke hearts, she said. Jars and jars of them. ‘They taste like…nothing else.’ She considered the open jar sitting on the ground beside us.

She held out an artichoke heart for me, her hand wet from fishing a leaf out of the plastic pool moments before. I considered it for a second: the way it sat in her palm like some fantastic, wretched creature pulled from the ocean floor.

I took it from her hand into my mouth. It tasted salty, tender, slippery. Complex.

Keep the Windows Closed

MAGGIE MACKENZIE

‘I hate going to gay clubs.’

I look up from the page I’m reading just in time to see Steve shovel a large spoonful of cereal into his mouth. ‘I get groped all the time,’ he says in between bites.

I lower my book to the kitchen counter and raise an eyebrow at him. ‘I wonder what walking into a club and getting touched without consent must feel like.’ I lift my fingers to my chin in thought. ‘One would think horrible?’

Steve stops chewing. ‘Right, sorry,’ he says through a mouthful of food. I roll my eyes and lower them back to my book. ‘Seriously though, as soon as I step in there, I’m accosted.’ Steve leans his back against the fridge, bringing the cereal bowl close to his chest.

‘So why do you go?’

Steve shrugs. ‘Good music I guess.’

I watch him for a moment. He keeps his eyes firmly on the cereal flake on his spoon.

‘Right. That’s it.’

Steve shoots me a look.

‘May I ask what brought this on?’ In answer, Steve nods to the front cover of the book I’m holding: Red, White & Royal Blue. I raise my eyebrow again. ‘So, a queer romance book made you think about how much you hate gay clubs?’

He shrugs again. Breathe. In two, three… ‘Alrighty Steve,’ I say, resolutely plastering my eyes on the book. Jesus Chri…

‘What time’s your man home anyway?’ Steve walks around the kitchen counter and pulls out one of the stools, sitting across from me. Kicking him in the dick is abuse, Riley.

‘Sometime this arvo, I think.’

‘So, how’s the book?’

I close my eyes for a fraction of a second, then wedge a finger between the pages to mark my spot and face him. ‘Don’t you have work soon?’

Steve grins and hops off the stool. ‘At 9, should probably go get ready.’

I smile benignly at him. ‘You do that.’

Steve wanders off towards his room at the far end of the apartment, cereal bowl still in his hand. I hear his bathroom door close, and the sound of the shower turn on.

Sighing, I return my gaze to my book for what feels like the tenth time this morning.

A light breeze is just starting to make its way through the living room, cooling the small beads of sweat clinging to my face.

It’s going to be hot today, but I can’t bring myself to get up to close the windows and turn on the aircon. The steady bustle of cars and the sound of Kai’s blinds softly hitting the windowsill every now and then feels oddly calming. But after a few minutes of trying and failing to read the same line on the page, I finally admit defeat and begrudgingly close my book.

Bloody Steve.

I get up and move around the counter, grabbing the kettle and placing it under the tap. As it begins to hiss, I hear Steve’s shower turn off, and a moment later he walks out of his room dressed in his work uniform and carrying the now empty cereal bowl, his hair sopping wet.

‘Staying here for the day are ya?’ he says, moving me aside so he can place the bowl in the sink, and shaking his head slightly so that droplets of water hit me across the face. I scowl at him and wipe my face with my shirt. ‘Probably, I’ve got assignments to do.’

‘Well, just make sure you close Kai’s windows, we’re meant to get a storm this arvo. I doubt he’d be very pleased if his PlayStation got wet.’

‘You know, you could always do it if you’re so concerned.’

Steve turns to me and grins, ‘Nah I’ll leave it for you, good girlfriend and all.’

I make a face at him. Steve salutes, picks up his work bag at the front door and leaves. Thank fucking God.

As the kettle whistles, I hear Kai’s blinds knock against the windowsill again. I know exactly how pissed off Kai would be if his beloved PlayStation got wet.

Maybe Steve was right.

I pour water into a mug, add a tea bag, and leave it to rest on the counter as I walk towards Kai’s room. The sky beyond his window is the colour of cerulean: clear and cloudless. As I stand in the doorway, a breeze kicks it way across the room and wanders along my neck. I begrudgingly make my way towards the window. My eye instantly catches the picture next to Kai’s bed, as it always does, showing Kai with his arm around another girl’s shoulders. A ‘friendship’ Christmas present, I’m constantly reminded.

I drag my gaze away from the photo and pull his windows shut.

*

The apartment is sweltering hot. The backs of my legs are sticking to the leather couch in the living room. I have papers spread out in front of me, covering the length of the couch and most of the rug on the floor. Each of papers are littered with red scrawls and marks, as if a toddler has been let loose with a packet of crayons.

My head is starting to hurt.

‘Okay, so if you go there,’ I mutter to myself, moving a sticky note from one page to the next.

‘And if you move down here,’ I say, moving yet another. ‘Then that will work, right?’ The sticky notes stare back at me in boredom.

‘Ugh!’ I scrunch up one of the offending sticky notes and throw it at the wall opposite me. It falls pathetically to the rug without a sound. ‘Why won’t you work!?’

Yeah, ‘cause talking to yourself is going to solve everything.

I stand up suddenly, needing to move, and in the process a few pages fall from the couch to the floor, others sticking to the sweat on my legs. The heat is overwhelming. I rip off the pieces on my legs, ignore ones on the floor, and walk towards Kai’s room.

The sky beyond his window has changed from clear and cerulean to a mottled, soft grey. In the distance, I can just make out slowly blackening clouds moving lazily closer to the

city. Kai’s room is so stuffy I can hardly breathe. A bead of sweat trickles down my face.

Fuck it.

I march across the room and throw open the windows. A cool breeze kisses my face, and I sigh with relief. The heat in the apartment seems to lift for a moment, and my head clears. I turn my gaze to the clouds again. Surely that’s hours away?

Taking a deep breath, I walk back into the living room. The rush of breezy air has lifted papers from the couch, and after bending down to scoop them up, I settle myself on the couch once more, the back of my legs no longer sticky with sweat.

The sudden sound of a door slamming shut reverberates through the apartment and I jump so hard that I accidently poke myself with my pen.

‘What...’ I look around the apartment for the source of the noise and notice the door to Kai’s bedroom is closed. Shit. Should’ve put the bloody door stopper in. I wander over and turn the handle.

The door doesn’t budge. Frowning, I try the handle again. The door still doesn’t move. I try for a third time, the handle whimpering feebly as though trying and failing to connect with the lock. I try shoving the door, but it feels like a tidewater of water has hit the other side. I shake the handle again, my movements becoming more and more frantic.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck.’

Okay think. Breathe. It’s not your fault.

I rush into Steve’s room and peer out of his window, trying to find a way for me to get across into Kai’s, but I am met with nothing but empty air, space, and the ominous looming, darkening clouds. I can just make out Kai’s window a few feet beside me.

Don’t you dare.

I rush back to Kai’s door and try the handle once more, hoping that by some miracle it has fixed itself. ‘Just fucking open!’

I’m crying now, my shoulders and hands shaking uncontrollably. Brief flashes of the layout of the room run across my mind. Kai’s clothes, Kai’s PlayStation, Kai’s phone charger, Kai’s laptop – all in the bloody room. I try and take a couple of breaths, but that only seems to make my chest heave more.

I look at the handle then dash into the kitchen and search frantically for a screwdriver. Finding it in the bottommost draw, I grab it and ram it into the screws attaching the handle to the door. Up close, I can see the force of the door closing has caused the paint to chip. Fragments of paint are scattered on the floor below me. I can already hear Kai’s voice in my head: ‘God you’re an idiot.’

Finally, I get the door handle off and hear a thud as the other half of the handle falls to the ground in Kai’s room. There’s now a large hole in the door where the handle was, and I can see Kai’s open windows and feel a rush of wind, except this time the sweat on my forehead doesn’t cool. Willing my hands to stop shaking, I manage to click the lock out of place.

The pressure on the door lifts and it swings forward.

I sit on the floor in silence for a few moments, feeling the wind graze my cheek. I bury my face in my hands.

*

‘Get much work done?’

I look up from the couch to find Steve standing in the kitchen, work shirt off and holding a bowl of cereal. I hadn’t heard him come in.

‘Not as much as I’d like,’ I say, gathering up the papers littered across the couch and placing them in a pile on the coffee table. ‘The woes of being an English major, I’m afraid.’ Steve grins and walks over to the coffee table, bending down to pick up a page. I smack his hand. He laughs and turns back towards the kitchen, then pauses.

‘What happened there?’ he asks, pointing to the paint chippings on the floor.

‘Oh, just had a bit of a disagreement with the weather.’ Steve looks as me questioningly. ‘The door slammed shut and I couldn’t open it.’

Steve laughs, ‘Ha fuck, lucky you got it open.’ I force a laugh. The door stopper sits mercifully in the door now.

‘Yeah lucky.’ I look around for something to say. ‘That was a short shift.’ I move towards the kitchen counter and prop up on one of the stools, a couple of papers and a pen still in my hand. But before Steve can answer, the front door opens and Kai strides into the kitchen.

I grip the pen in my hand a little tighter. Kai’s eyes narrow slightly as he surveys the scene: Steve standing half naked, eating a bowl of cereal and me sitting at the counter with pen and paper in hand. A slight twinge works its way into his eyebrows, but he says nothing. Instead, he walks over and kisses me lightly. ‘Hey, how was your day?’ he asks.

‘Fine,’ I say. ‘How was work?’

Kai grunts and dumps his bag on the floor beside my chair. ‘Fine.’

I see Steve’s face flash with mischief as he begins to say, ‘So apparently Riley —,’ but I shoot him a look and he quietens.

‘What?’ Kai asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket and glancing at the lock screen.

‘Apparently Riley has been reading that same book all day,’ Steve says, throwing in an unconvincing laugh at the end.

‘Not surprising,’ Kai says flatly. I watch as he doesn’t even hide the way he rolls his eyes, then walks off towards his room.

When Kai is gone, Steve catches my eye. We stare at each other for a brief moment, Steve looking as though he wants to say something. He glances worryingly towards Kai’s room, where we can both hear the steady stream of the shower and the dull murmur of Kai’s music. But then he looks away, picks up his bowl and wanders off to his room. I make sure to mark the page I am on, close my book, and bend down to pick up Kai’s forgotten bag.

I place Kai’s bag on his bed and straighten his steel capped boots, which he’s left discarded on the floor. The sky outside his window is now eerily dark. The wind has died down, but I can already see a mist of rain growing steadily closer. I move across the room and close the windows, making sure to lock the latch.

I turn back and see Kai’s phone on the bedside table. I stare at it for a moment. It buzzes: three messages pop up.

I look away and walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

Dry Winter: Australian Film Review

WRITTEN BY TOM LOUDON

Kyle Davis’ debut featurette is a bold, sliceof-life depiction of a couple on the edge of breakdown.

Jake (Andrew Phillips) and Kelly (Courtney Kelly) are a young couple in regional South Australia, living out their days in an opportunity-starved town. They live off the beaten track and often have little to fill the gaps between dawn and dusk. The pair see their friends, race cars, take care of their dogs, and go to parties. A drought has made their lives all the more difficult as opportunities for work become few and far between.

Jake and his friend Liam (Michael Harapas) turn to ice use to pass the time, and Kelly becomes increasingly distant. The couple must decide how long they can go on filling their days with empty moments, and whether or not it’s time to move on.

At sixty-three minutes, Dry Winter is punchy and compelling. Made by a crew of Flinders University graduates, it explores a transitional stage of life and its characters move around the edge of society and the edge of time – in many ways they have been forgotten by both.

Shot entirely on the Eyre Peninsula, the film is both visually beautiful and devastatingly sparse. The cast of entirely non-actors are followed in an observational, pseudodocumentary style that revels in its authenticity and creates a moving image of hazy slowness to juxtapose the eventual moment of devastating clarity.

Dry Winter moves like a series of photographs of a couple, each one becoming less languid and more intense. The viewer sees everything, from the subtle, loving moments, to the harsh, lengthy silences.

We are flies on the wall as the film reminds the viewer that everything decays and comes to an end, and that ultimately this story ended before we were even invited to watch.

After a positive reception at the 2021 Melbourne International Film Festival, Dry Winter is now streaming on Mubi.

Even though your confidence is high, you’re still reluctant to share your opinions with others at this time.

Emotions are running high and you want to discuss your troubles. Allow yourself time to decompress and approach the day in good faith.

There is a ta ll, handsome man in your future. AVOID.

You can see the stupidity all around you and understand clearly what needs to be done, but remember that your standards are your own.

You’re wonder ing if you’re a bad person. Yes. Yes, you are.

Get the tattoo.

You could use some straightforward friendship today. Hang out with the besties to take the stress off.

You are ov erlooking some past discretion, but it won’t go away.

Although this is a day of action, it first requires preparation. When pitching ideas to others, you need a very convincing argument.

HOROSCOPE

All you can do is your best. The rest is fate.

19 FEB - 20 MAR

Diets are fad s, but lifestyle choices are forever.

ARTWORK

Editors

Tom Loudon

Ciaran Greig

Ella Brumm

Graphic Designer May Lyn Chew

Contributors

Oscar Davison

Tom Loudon

Billy Zimmermann

Ella Brumm

Nicola Frassetto

Shelby Lee

Claire Wallace

Ciaran Greig

Maggie Mackenzie

Claude Dear Claudia Pilbeam

Sam Hope Pipier Weller

Non Fiction Stories

Interviews Reviews Poetry Art Photography

Your work could be in the pages of Glass Magazine!

We love celebrating and publishing the work of QUT Students and Alumni. Our online submissions are always open and our print edition submissions open as advertised. You can find information about the submission themes and how to submit to Glass on our website, qutglass. com/submit , or our Facebook page @glassmedia.

We accept writing of all genres. We take poetry, opinion pieces, essays, satire, fiction, recipes, reviews and more. We also take illustrations, collages and photography. If you have any questions, feel free to get in touch with the editorial team to discuss.

For more info on how to submit your work, visit qutglass.com/submit