Purpose Driven Women Magazine

PDWMAG.COM

The

Chelsea House

HELPING WOMEN IN CRISIS

PLUS EXCLUSIVE STORIES FROM CO-FOUNDER BETH BARNES AND FORMER RESIDENTS

CANCER SAVED MY PDWMAG.COM

Spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ, Encouraging Women to Connect to their Purpose!

Sept 2019

PURPOSE DRIVEN WOMEN MAGAZINE Often times we fail at connecting to our purpose because we feel inadequate. What we don’t realize is when we were created God placed our purpose inside of us. We already have it. It’s what we were created to do. The obstacle is taking the time to seek God for revelation and instructions of our individual purpose. Once we truly have an understanding of what we were created to be or why we exist there is no force on this earth that can stand in our way. We don’t have to worry about being good enough or if we have what it takes. When we know without a shadow of a doubt who and what we were created to be the rest is history. Purpose Driven Women Magazine is the woman's guide to connecting to their purpose.

ABOUT US PDW is a multi-cultural bi-monthly digital Christian magazine designed with everyday women in mind. We give women a voice and platform to share their story of how they overcame hardship through faith, in the end giving God the glory. We provide support to women on their purpose journey by providing inspiration through testimonies, tools, resources, and informative articles that help them to discover and become all that God created them to be.

Subscribe Today!

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@purposedrivenwomenmagazine @pdw_mag

“SPREADING THE GOOD NEWS OF JESUS CHRIST, ENCOURAGING WOMEN TO CONNECT TO THEIR PURPOSE”

Publisher/Founder Kimi Johnson

Editor in Chief

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.�

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Ann Marie Bryan

Cover Designer Kimi Johnson

Graphic Designer Kimi Johnson

Branding and Marketing Director Damien Jones

Contributors

Ishah Whipple Shayna Acree Renee Dantzler Christina Malloy Mary Huntley Carmelita McRoy Danielle Lyles

Cover Feature

Trasetta Alexander

Cover Business Mention The Chelsea House

Cover Photo Photographer Madman Photography

Share My Story Che Haughton Theresa Payne

OUR MISSION Our mission is to spread the good news of Jesus Christ while encouraging women to connect to their purpose. We give everyday women a voice and platform to share their story of how they overcame hardship through faith, in the end giving God the glory. We provide support to women on their purpose journey by providing inspiration through testimonies, tools, resources, and informative articles that help them to discover and become all that God created them to be.

OUR VISION Imagine a world where every woman knew exactly why they were created and despite their economical background, past failures and mistakes, trials and tribulations they all knew they had everything needed to be who God created them to be. Our vision is to create an international publication that creates unification and connection amongst women from different walks of life, giving them an opportunity to uplift each other by sharing their story.

EBSITE: pdwag.com

CONTACT INFORMATION 4 PDWMAG.COM September/October 2019

PDWMAG.COM EMAIL: pdwmailus@gmail.com

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September 2019 Contents

16

Cover Feature: Trasetta Alexander

Cover Photography: Madman Photography

44

Features 16

HOW CANCER SAVED MY LIFE WITH FAITH BASED BUSINESS COACH AND SPEAKER TRASETTA ALEXANDER

36

THE CHELSEA HOUSE: HELPING WOMEN IN CRISIS

6 PDWMAG.COM September/October 2019

44 SHARE MY STORY CHE CHAUGHTON: SELF LOVE

64

SHARE MY STORY THERESA PAYNE: THE LORD WILL CALL YOUR NAME

64 Read exclusive interviews with Beth Barnes, director of the Chelsea House and former program residents.

Spiritual 28

SILENT SCREAM

29

FACING ADVERSITY: ENCOURAGMENT WHILE FACING TRIALS

30

WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

Poetic Purpose 30

Health & Fitness 46

THINK FIT, SPEAK FIT, BE FIT

Authors & Readers 48

MELINDA MICHELLE

Family 74

START AT HOME

TO FEEL BLESSED

Love & Relationship 34

NAGGING

September/October 2019 PDWMAG.COM 7

Connect with your

PURPOSE from anywhere.

Follow us on social media today. @pdwmag @purposedrivenwomenmagazine @pdw_mag

8 PDWMAG.COM September/October 2019

Our Contributors Shayna Acree is a wife and mother of four children.

After the tragic loss of her oldest daughter Amyia, Shayna found healing journaling and blogging. In 2017, Shayna created her online website, From Amyia to help others take the steps towards hope and healing as they journey through grief and loss.

Ishah Whipple is a native of New York City. She is not only married to the love of her life, but the mother of four amazing children. She currently lives in Phoenix, Arizona and has been blogging for over two years.

Ishah is also the author of four self-published books on Amazon: Heart’s Flow, LadyWhipp Chronicles, Unlocking the Warrior from Within, and The Rare Kind.

.

Danielle Lyles, God’s Carmelita McRoy is a bestselling author, speaker, and certified life coach.

She was the previous editor of Pneuma magazine, and she hosts an online radio program on Blog Talk radio called “Woman to Woman Ministries;” that will start back broadcasting in April of 2019.

Carmelita has a degree in Christian Ministry with an emphasis in Christian Counseling from Ohio Christian University.

Babygirl, Navy wife and momma to 4 amazing kids, discovered her love for writing in 2008. As screenwriter and freelance writer, she enjoys the faith-based genre but has also worked on musicals, sci-fi and television. Upon completion of her Bachelor’s in Creative Writing, she plans to use her work to bring hope and healing and to give voice to the African American military community via feature films.

Our Contributors

Renee Dantzler was born Mary Huntley is a wife of 45 years to Dr. Ronald Lee Huntley. She is an international bestselling author, motivational speaker, licensed professional counselor, and certified master life coach. Mary served in the capacity of Chief Executive/Encouragement Officer of a 501(c)(3) organization and has received many awards including an Executive Citation from Anne Arundel County Executive, Steven R. Schuh, recognizing her authenticity, passion, dedication and leadership with respect to impacting lives. She is on a mission to empower others, especially women, to soar above the storms of life and reach their God-given purpose.

Christina Malloy is from Fayetteville, North Carolina. She enjoys watching basketball and football games. Writing letters and poetry helps her release the stress in her life. A lot of her poems are love letters to God and prayers to help her make it through.

10 PDWMAG.COM September/October 2019

and raised in Harlem, NY. She is a sought-after certified personal trainer and transformation artist. Renee is passionate about helping others overcome challenges physically, emotionally and spiritually because she has overcome major challenges of her own. Her clients affectionately know her as, Coach Renee. She is married to her high school sweetheart for over 32 years. Both serve side by side in marriage ministry. They have three sons and one granddaughter. She is living proof that anyone can stand strong despite life’s challenges and accredits the source of her strength to Jesus Christ, her Lord and Savior.

Our Story Before I decided to launch Purpose Driven Woman magazine, I was a hairstylist working in the beauty industry for over 10 years.

I watched women from all walks of life flip through numerous magazines searching for that one style that screamed, “This is you!”

While in my salon, I have heard countless jaw-dropping remarks from women, searching for the person they were created to be.

These women were physically beautiful yet crying on the inside because they did not understand who they are in Jesus Christ. I saw that no amount of money, friends, or men, could have saved any of them, and me, from reaching this point. The more I listened to these stories, the more I realized how much we all have in common and the strong desire I have to encourage women to be all they were created to be.

absolutely no experience in the magazine industry. I questioned the Lord, “Me? Do a magazine? But how, Lord?

I’m not good enough? Who is going to buy or read a magazine?” Eventually, I started believing my negative thoughts and insecurities.

Driven Those thoughts carried on for years until one day my pastor walked into my office and said, ‘I’m not sure why I’m showing you these but…’ and he placed a stack of magazines that he had published on my desk.

That’s right, you heard me!

The Holy Spirit knows how to get your attention! I burst in tears, and that was the day I connected with my PURPOSE! Not long after, I found out, I was more than enough. All I needed to do was step out in faith and God would do the rest. Now, I have embarked on a movement to let women all around the world know they too, are more than enough.

Purpose One day while reclining on my sofa at home, I reflected on my purpose. I thought about the things I liked, the things I disliked, and the ways that I could make a difference. As I contemplated, I began to seek the Lord concerning my purpose. However, it wasn’t until I was at the lowest point in my life, when things began to change. I was a single mother; my son was only 6 weeks old and my life was falling apart. While I was thinking how I was going to fix my situation, the Lord was dealing with me about publishing a magazine. A magazine? That was the last thing I thought I was good enough to do. Publish a magazine?

This can’t be right. I had

Women Within the stories of Purpose Driven Women Magazine, I pray that you are graced with empowering words of encouragement and motivation to aid you as you travel on life's journey. We believe that testimonies change lives, and when God puts His “super” on our “natural,” we can’t be stopped because we are all Purpose Driven Women.

Kimi Johnson Photo credit: Jeremy Howard

A Word from Our Editor

elcome to this issue of Purpose Driven Women Magazine, prepared just for you. Inside you’ll find a wide range of topics from our talented contributors, to help you move forward. Our articles are educational and entertaining, but above all we want them to be useful to you.

In this issue, we feature the remarkable Trasetta Alexander, a faith -based business and productivity coach and motivational speaker.

Trasetta teaches women of faith how to clarify and monetize their purpose so they can create the abundant life and business they desire. Indeed, she’s a purpose driven woman.

There is something for everyone in this issue. We hope you’ll feel energized as you move through the pages. Let us know if there are any topics you would like to see covered in the future. As you are aware, this is a digital magazine so feel free to tweet, share and recommend the articles you like.

Be inspired and stay tuned for much more.

Ann Marie Bryan EDITOR IN CHIEF

CONNECT WITH ANN MARIE

Ann Marie Bryan is a dedicated, graceful, multi-talented leader with a passion for excellence. She is the CEO & Founder of Victorious By Design, an organization committed to providing top quality professional writing services, comprehensive personal and professional development programs and exceptional performing arts services to meet the unique needs of individuals and organizations.

Website: www.annmariebryan.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/authorannmariebryan Instagram: www.instagram.com/authorabryan

Cover Feature

Trasetta Alexander, Faith Based Business Coach and Speaker Interview By: Kimi Johnson

We know, you’re probably wondering:

How on earth can cancer save someone’s life?

Well, our cover feature, Trasetta Alexander has a story that will change your perspective.

Turning lemons into lemonade isn’t an easy task but with a little faith and determination anything is possible.

ABOUT TRASETTA Trasetta Alexander is a faith-based business & productivity coach and motivational speaker. She teaches women of faith how to clarify and monetize their purpose so they can create the abundant life and business they desire. Trasetta has over 20 year of experience working in business operations management creating systems and processes, as well as, increasing individual productivity. Additionally, she holds a Bachelor’s degree in Social Work from Thomas University. Trasetta is also the Administrative Pastor of Vessels of Joy Full Gospel Church, founded in 2009 by her husband, Pastor William Alexander, with the directive from the Lord of teaching people how to have joy in Him. She serves as the women’s ministry and praise team leader for the church.She believes no one can obtain any level of success alone.

Success comes through clarifying your vision, creating an action plan and developing a network of success partners. She freely shares stories of her own struggles to overcome life’s challenges in an effort to empower others to face their own, knowing they are well equipped to conquer them and create the life of their dreams. She embodies her personal motto, which is to always “Live on purpose, pursue your passion and unleash your power!”

CONNECTING TO PURPOSE What was the defining moment that made you realize your life had purpose?

I'm not really sure if there was one specific moment, but there was an event that showed me that I needed to move forward with the work that God was calling me to do. In 2014, two weeks after walking across the stage with my bachelor's degree, at the age of 40, I received a call from my doctor's office notifying me of the results of my breast biopsy. The results were positive for

cancer. It was in that moment that I realized I had been essentially sleepwalking through life and didn't even realize it.

When you are faced with your own mortality, it does something to you. So, I decided I was going to move forward boldly and purposefully with the rest of my life. The prognosis was very good. We caught the cancer early, so I didn't feel as though my life was about to end, but I did realize I wasn't living my life to the fullest. I was just kind of surviving

September/October 2019 PDWMAG.COM 15

on the grace of God. When I recognized what was happening, I took a step back and said, “Okay, Lord, let me drop everything and reconnect with You.� I literally shut everything down and spent two months with the Lord, studying His word, praying, and meditating so I could get clear directions. During that time, I realized I had kind of strayed off in a direction that was not in alignment with my true purpose.

When I reconnected with God, and realigned myself with His intended purpose for me, I was able to reemerge much stronger, much better, and much greater. Not that everything became easy; because, you know, life isn't easy, but there's a difference when you're operating in alignment with God versus when you're operating on your own strength. When things get challenging, when things get difficult, because they will, if you're operating in the strength of God, then you have supernatural power.

You have His supernatural strength to get through those challenging and difficult times.

How do you connect your faith with your coaching style?

The number one thing I do is pray.

I pray for myself. I pray for my business. I pray for my clients. I even pray for people I interact with online who I would like to work with. I'm also very open to hearing from the Lord when I'm working with a client, especially if they're stuck in a particular area. I leave space for the Lord to use me in a word of wisdom, word of knowledge or discerning of spirits, to guide my clients through whatever blockage they're facing.

And I continue to encourage them to seek God for direction.

There is no one size fits all approach to coaching people because everyone is different.

Everyone has their own needs. Not to mention everyone has their own assignment or purpose that God created them for. What worked for me may not necessarily work for another person. That may not be the way God wants them to execute their purpose, even if we're doing the exact same thing.

And so, I remain open while I share the strategies that have worked for me or have worked for others. I leave the door open for the Lord to give divine strategy and divine insight so that I will do what's best for my clients.

What can a potential client expect to gain from Your Purpose Partner coaching program?

Ooh, that's a good question. I have three pillars that guide my work with both my one-on-one Purpose Partner clients, as well as, my

group coaching programs. They are to provide my clients with the support, strategies and stretching they need in order to be successful in their purpose. The reason I chose those pillars is because this thing called entrepreneurship is challenging. It can get difficult and lonely. It's so easy to give up on your dream. It is so easy to give up on your goal if you don't have someone supporting you in it. Not everyone understands the mindset of an entrepreneur.

Often my clients have friends or family members who just don't get why they would want to risk having their own business rather than a job working for someone else. The right kind of support is extremely important. When it comes to strategies, as I mentioned before, I share the things that have worked for me, what has worked for others, and I leave space for the Lord to give divine strategies to help guide and direct my clients.

There's no reason for you to try and reinvent the wheel when something is out there that has proven to work. The last one is the stretching.

We really need someone to help push us beyond what we think we are capable of doing. Oftentimes, we sell ourselves short. So, I do a lot of mindset work with my clients. 3 John verse 2 states, “Beloved, I wish above all that you would prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers.”

I like to relate the soul to a thermostat. It determines the level of success that you can have in life.

If the level drops below what your soul is comfortable with, it will do all it can to return to its comfort

level. The same is true if you achieve beyond the soul’s set level. You will ensure that you restore your soul to a place of comfort.

What do you tell your clients that have allowed fear to hinder them from moving forward?

I ask them to describe what the worst thing that could happen if they were to move forward. Then I ask if they could live with that outcome? If not, then we work on building a plan that has some safeguards in it to prevent the worst from happening. I help them take calculated risks so that they mitigate the potential fallout. If they could live with the worst-case scenario, the fear tends to dissipate because they’ve theoretically already faced the worst that could happen.

Tell us about your upcoming book, Positioning Yourself to Prosper.

The book is about how you can create a life of abundance through your purpose. It was birth out of my own curiosity on the end-times wealth transfer. I have heard ministers talk about this for years. I prayed for two years, asking God how He was going to transfer the wealth of the wicked to His people in the last days. When He finally answered, He said, “I’m positioning my people in places of power and authority in the marketplace to get deals, contracts and win negotiations that will transfer the worlds wealth into the hands of my people.” The book relays what I discovered as the Lord led me to study this topic. In the book, I first take the reader through Scriptures that indicate God’s desire for us to be wealthy. Then I share some of the common blocks to prosperity and how to break them. Also, I discuss

When you are faced with your own mortality, it does something to you. So, I decided I was going to move forward boldly and purposefully with the rest of my life.

how our prosperity is directly tied to the purpose for which we were created by God, and the strategies for increasing our capacity for more.

What do you hope people remember about your book?

My hope is that readers will take action on what they read. I want them to take the concepts and principles I share, and put them into action in their lives, so that they can create the wealth and abundance that God desires them to have. It is time for us, as the body of Christ, to arise as people of influence so we can impact the world for the Kingdom of God. In addition, I hope they understand, they were created on purpose and for purpose. It is through their purpose that the prosperity, the success, the wealth,

and the abundance that they desire to have in life, will come to them.

That's really what I want people to remember.

What did you learn about yourself while writing your book?

Writing the book solidified in me the desire to teach others. I remember taking one of those personality tests that tells you what type of career you are best suited for. My result was a teacher. I had no desire to be a teacher because the view I had in my mind was a grade school teacher. But now my image of teaching has completely shifted. I love teaching others. Also, I learned that I have the discipline to stick with long term projects. In the past, I tended to start projects

and not finish them, especially projects that were long-term. I thought for a long time I didn’t have the attention span or discipline it took to work on a long-term project.

Now I know otherwise.

You work full time, serve as administrative pastor at your Church, run a coaching practice on top of your personal responsibilities. How do you balance it all?

Actually, I don't. I don't believe in balance. I think the concept of work-life balance is a myth. To me, balance means equal weight or equal time. However, there are certain things in my life that are not equal. I focus on being priority -driven rather than driven by attempting to find balance. It’s important to be okay with letting

something go for a season so that you can focus on what's really essential at that time. I believe you can have it all, just not at the same time. I teach my clients to focus on no more than two or three areas of their life at any given time, and be okay with the other areas, being on the back burner for a season. Not that you completely and totally neglect them, but that you put the majority of your focus into those areas that you're really trying to move the needle in at the time.

What advice would you give your younger self?

I think the biggest thing that I would tell my younger self would be to live more boldly.

Don't be so afraid. Tap into the courage, strength and power that's on the inside of you.

All the things that you're so afraid will happen, really aren’t as scary as you think they are.

You’ll not only survive them, but you’ll thrive on the other side of them as well. That would be my advice. Live boldly, live courageously, and tap into your inner strength.

CONNECT WITH TRASETTA Email: trasetta@trasettaalexander.com Website: www.trasettaalexander.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/ speakertrasettaalexander Instagram: www.instagram.com/ trasettaalexander LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/ trasettaalexander Twitter: www.twitter.com/trasettaa

PRE-ORDER YOUR BOOK TODAY! Trasettaalexander.com/ prosper

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Back Cover Description Chandler Peynard has it all—family, fame, fortune, and salvation. This A-list celebrity has come a long way from his philandering days. That’s no longer his style. He’s head-over-heels in love with Sabrina, his wife, and in full pursuit of God’s calling on his life. But when shadows of the past beckon, he panics. Eventually, he has no choice but to face his previous indiscretions, but will Chandler’s past activities be more than his wife can handle?

Larry and Rozene Kanate have moved beyond the consequences of their mirrored sin. The birth of twin daughters helped to seal their happily-ever-after. Life is wonderful, until it’s not. After the beaded curtain falls, Rozene scrambles to put the pieces together and avoid public humiliation. As the past crosses paths with the present, will their marriage survive?

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In this captivating conclusion to the bestselling Encounters of the Heart series, unresolved issues make unwelcome visits to test the resiliency of love. Will the characters learn to reset the atmosphere in which they live? Will they live in a place where God finds it easy to bless them? In a season that brings many challenges, they

must summon the courage to forgive, heal and fall in love again.

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Spiritual

Silent Scream By: Carmelita Mcroy

“Every day, I see and talk with

women who are smiling on the outside but are secretly screaming on the inside. These are women who are hiding issues from childhood and past relationships. Often times, these women are dealing with problems stemming from abuse and rejection.

Have you gone through a divorce or a bad break up and you cry in the shower every day afterwards? Do you cry yourself to sleep night after night; but, when people ask how you are doing, you respond, “I am good.”

That is a silent cry, you are crying about things that hurt you. You must get help. Suffering in silence is not okay.

Many women are dealing with depression, but afraid to tell anyone; or they do not realize that they are depressed. Sometimes, these women

28 PDWMAG.COM September/October 2019

will get offended easily or go to one hundred in three seconds.

The mother who yells at her kids for everything, does so, not because she doesn’t love them, but because she may be depressed.

you cry all the time, seek help. It’s okay, strong women need to vent and release. Don't worry about what others say, you are still a strong woman. With help, you will be able to cope with life differently, even better.

I remember being a single mom with five children and crying all the time. I never let anyone see me cry; I had to be strong. I had to act like his cheating and lying wasn't bothering me. I was a strong woman; I could handle it.

You know what? Strong women hurt too, and most do not take care of themselves like they should. A few years later, I became very depressed and was close to having a nervous breakdown.

Back in the day, I decided to see a therapist to help resolve my issue. I did not take medication; I decided to talk things out and pray. I believe that when we seek good counsel, we will not feel like we are being judged or that the things we discuss will be shared with others.

Do not cry and suffer in silence.

If you have anxiety attacks or

If you know that you are suffering in silence and you have been having anxiety attacks; do not suffer in silence anymore. Get help now before you explode like a volcano.

Make sure you are praying and meditating each day. I want to see you happy, really happy.

Spiritual

FACING ADVERSITY: Encouragement When Facing Trials By: Shayna Acree

In this life…

Do not give up

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. (John 16:33 KJV)

Though He slay me, yet I will trust in Him: but I will maintain mine own ways before Him. (Job 13:15 KJV)

What happens when we come face to face with adversity? In James 1:2-4, the Bible teaches us to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds. The key word is face; not flee, retreat or cower, but face. Whenever we face any type of trial or adversity, our human nature wants to retreat because trials are extremely uncomfortable and painful.

Life is filled with different obstacles, and adversity is one of them. At times, we find ourselves in the middle of an adverse situation where we feel that the pain and suffering we’re experiencing is unwarranted. However, what if it is necessary? What if the pain is supposed to draw out purpose, and audaciousness?

And, what if our breakthrough is on the other side?

When I lost my daughter, Amyia, I thought life had dealt me an unfair hand. I was broken, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to survive. However, when I thought about my one-year old son, Christian, I knew I had to go through the pain and suffering and come out on the other side of it. Through my pain, I found purpose to help others who lost their children, to minister to them and give them hope. Hope for the life and future that God promised us. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (Jeremiah 29:11 KJV). If I had unpacked my bags and remained in my pain, I would not have been able to help others and most importantly myself.

Through the many faces of adversity, there is always purpose.

Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. He understands that we will endure pain and suffering, and what He does is creates something magnificent and beautiful from our pain. Although the circumstances may not seem favorable, our pain can be transformed into power.

When going through an adversity, you will experience feelings of defeat, brokenness, and worst of all…fear. There is something within us that makes us want to cower because experiencing pain is uncomfortable. Our adversities stretch and test us. However, after the stretching and testing are over, we will be empowered with resilience, perseverance, endurance, and strength. We will be amazed at how strong we truly are.

It’s time to overcome Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. (James 1:12 KJV).

Adversity, pain, suffering, and trials are never a destination.

We are not to unpack our bags and use pain as our permanent residence. To overcome, we must change our perspective and have the mindset that with prayer, faith, patience and time, we will push through and overcome.

I want to encourage you today, to push through the pain that will lead you to your purpose. Also, I want to encourage you to create a community of women who will speak life affirmations over your adverse circumstances, worship at the feet of our Father, sing praises to His Almighty name and push back the thoughts which are trying to hold you bound.

My prayer for your life is that our Heavenly Father will give you knowledge and wisdom, to make you better not bitter as you go through your adversity.

September/October 2019 PDWMAG.COM 29

Spiritual

With God All Things Are Possible By: Dr. Mary J. Huntley

I recalled that Black Panther roared into theaters as a dynamic cultural event, and it drastically shattered box office records. Instantly, it became the top grossing film in history by a black director, Ryan Coogler, and largely featured a black cast. It exceeded expectations and earned just under $242 million in the U.S. when it opened. And there was an awesome big, bad, bold, black 92-years-young sister, namely Dorothy Steel, who played a tribal leader in Wakanda.

This now famous actress decided to fulfill her acting dream at the seasoned age of 88. She received a call one hour after submitting her audition tape. She became the grandmother on the set and the rest is history. Ms. Steel attributes the movie’s success to its heroines.

She said, “It’s never too late to dream or to follow your dream.” And her actions corroborated her statement.

What recurrent dream has God placed in your heart? When will you begin to act upon it?

When will your gifts begin to make room for you and bring you before great men? You will never know until you stop allowing fear to paralyze you or stop allowing the enemy to tell you that you will never see your dream manifest. What would have happened if Ms. Steel had said, “I am too old to pursue acting.”

However, she decided that it was not too late to follow her dream. The same is true for us. We

can choose to step out on God’s Word, or we can remain on the sideline bellyaching about our stagnant lives, and everyone else’s success.

It is never too late to dream or follow your dream. Don’t focus on your age because it is only a number. Focus on your God, knowing that He is not a man so He cannot lie. If He said it, surely He will do it. Stir up the gift that is within you and press toward your dream daily.

Refuse to allow anyone or anything to distract you. Though you may get tired, press on.

Encourage yourself and press on. Eventually, you will reap the benefits of your labor. You could land an awesome opportunity to bring God glory. So, get up, dust yourself off and start taking steps toward your dream. It may be a baby step, but it still counts. And remember that the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. So it is with you. Small steps in the right direction will still help you reach your goal.

In closing, if you are still doubtful about pursuing your dreams after reading this article, please remember that God has not programmed you to fail. Believe in yourself. Know that the gifts and callings of God are without repentance. He has not changed his mind about you. In fact, Jeremiah 29:11 says, He has plans to give you an expected end. What are you waiting for? It’s not too late to follow your dream!

Poetic Purpose New Section

DEPRESSION Christina “Truchrissy” Malloy

To Feel Blessed To feel blessed Is to live and To live is to Breathe in and out Without a care In the world. Oh How I long to Feel blessed. But Wait I am blessed Because I am Breathing in out.

And my heavenly Father Care's for me.

By Truchrissy AKA Christina Malloy

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

John 3:16 KJV

Love & Relationship

Nagging

By Danielle Lyles

Are you a nagging wife? Do you find yourself asking your husband to do something over and over again simply because he’s not moving fast enough for you? Are there times when you feel the only way to get through to him is by using a contentious tone? Is it hard not to complain even after he’s done what you’ve asked? Are you a regular contestant in the game of tit for tat in your marriage? Is it easier to point out and harp on his faults over yours?

If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then you are a nagging wife.

Admitting to being a nag can be a little difficult, especially since we as wives have the tendency to believe our constant voice in our husband’s ear is simply our way of making him better. Unfortunately, the Word of God begs to differ, giving many comparisons to what living with a nagging wife is really like.

“A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike; whoever restrains her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand.” Proverbs 27:15-16 (NKJV) “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Proverbs 21:9 (NKJV) “Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.” Proverbs 21:19

Take a few moments to think about the fact that it would be better for a husband to live on the corner of his rooftop, exposed to all the elements, (heat, rain, cold and/or snow) than to be in a house with a wife who nags. As outrageous as this may seem some of us wives create and cultivate contentious environments in our marriages. This is a harsh indicator of our own character flaws.

The Bible admonishes us to, “Do all things without complaining and disputing.”

Philippians 2:14-16 (NKJV). A nagging wife does just the opposite, constantly pointing out her husband’s faults, when she should be working towards keeping peace between them.

Before you go there, keeping the peace doesn’t mean wives shouldn’t speak up for themselves or give their opinions. It means, it’s not what you say but how you say it. Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV) says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Before you speak to your husband about an issue, check your tone to be sure it’s cultivating peace, not war.

Nagging is often times brought on by impatience. At first, it seems effective in getting what you want but over time it only breeds resentment. Proverbs 25:15 (NKJV) says, “By long forbearance a ruler is persuaded and a gentle tongue breaks a bone.” Obviously, there are things that need to be done right away and if that’s the case make him aware. If, however, it’s something that can wait a day or a week, don’t get impatient if he lets it sit for a day or a week. Be reasonable in

“Do all things without complaining and disputing.”

Philippians 2:14-16 (NKJV).

your requests that aren’t time sensitive.

Keeping a record of your rights versus your husband’s wrongs is another form of nagging that’s heavily rooted in unforgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. If we remember that God has forgiven us, it should never be an issue to forgive another, especially our spouse. Marriage isn’t about being served but being of service to our spouse. If you find the need to keep a record, check your motives, better yet check your heart. Being unforgiving will only make you bitter and in the end, it hurts you more than your spouse.

All wives are guilty of nagging, whether they want to admit it or not. Thanks, be to God that we have a helper in the Holy Spirit to teach us how to love our spouses.

2 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NKJV) reads, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, it not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.”

If you ever find yourself nagging, take a moment to read the above scripture but instead of reading the word “love”, insert your name. Hopefully it will challenge you to work on your actions aligning with the Word of God and help you get rid of nagging once and for all.

September/October 2019 PDWMAG.COM 35

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BETH BARNES DIRECTOR OF THE CHELSEA HOUSE BY: Kimi Johnson How did you know you were called to the Chelsea House?

My marriage of eighteen years ended in a devastating divorce after my husband walked away from our family.

As a single mom of three small children, I found myself struggling to make ends meet. During that time, I realized that there were other women like me, barely able to get through each day. I began daydreaming about opening a home for women who were going through challenging times. Years later, I met a young woman named Chelsea who was homeless and pregnant. We shared the same passion. Sadly, she passed away from complications of childbirth. But it was after her passing that God spoke to me about opening a home for women and calling it Chelsea House. Chelsea House represents all the "Chelseas" who are going through difficult times.

How does the Chelsea House benefit women?

The Chelsea House provides a safe place to call home during seasons of crisis. Program participants are provided opportunities for spiritual enrichment, life skills, housing, job-readiness, personal growth,

36 PDWMAG.COM September/October 2019

mentoring, necessities like food and clothing and much more. In addition, we offer a variety of support groups and monthly tea luncheon for women in the community.

As the co-founder and director of the Chelsea House, how has the faith-based residential program strengthened your faith and relationship with the Lord?

I meet incredible women of courage each day.

This keeps me humble and reminds me that I am an ambassador of Christ who is assigned to serve God by serving others. Seeing the miracles of emotional and spiritual healing on a firsthand basis, strengthens my faith and allows me to have the courage to speak life and healing into the women I serve.

What do you love most about your role and involvement at the Chelsea House?

I love to see God at work when all else seems hopeless. Watching the healing process reminds

“I love to see God at work when all else seems hopeless.� me of a wilted flower opening up to reveal its true inner beauty after just a drop of nourishment. It's very rewarding.

The Chelsea House reaches a diverse group of women from many walks of life, including supporters, volunteers, and women simply trying to find their way. How are lives changed when they connect to the Chelsea House?

Many volunteers and supporters are drawn to us.

They understand the healing process because of their own journey and now they want to give back.

Oftentimes, they come to be a blessing but end up receiving a greater blessing. One volunteer recently shared that it has been a life-changing experience for her. It's like expanding your family circle because we are the family of Christ, serving together.

It's a beautiful thing.

Who qualifies to receives the services that Chelsea House provides? What is the process of enrollment?

Any woman that desires personal and spiritual growth can participate in the daytime program by simply visiting our office and signing up.

Women who are in crisis and need the residential program can apply online at www.GSNcares.org and follow the instructions.

How can the community get involved and support the Chelsea House?

The community can get involved by supporting us through prayer, volunteering, monetary contribution, conducting donation drives, donating to our thrift store and attending our fundraising events. Businesses can partner with us by providing job

opportunities for our clients, giving silent auction items for our events, providing meals and offering professional services. Our website www.GSNcares.org gives a detailed listing of ways to support, volunteer and donate.

September/October 2019 PDWMAG.COM 37

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I have had many obstacles in my life that has made it difficult for me to achieve my goals. Without God’s help and the Chelsea House program, I feel I would not be here today.

Tamara’s Story How Chelsea House Saved My Life

I grew up in Little Rock, Arkansas. I am the eldest of three children. I was raised in a Christian home and at the age of eight years old, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I have a learning disability but didn’t realize that until when I decided to go to college.

My learning disability affected my education. In grade school, it was very difficult for me to learn. I remember spending late hours studying for tests and doing homework, even until 2:00 am. In high school, it got considerably worse. I couldn’t retain what I learned, and my thoughts always felt jumbled. Thankfully, through God’s grace I graduated from high school.

In 1987, I entered the Job Corp which I thoroughly enjoyed. My time with the Job Corp taught me trade and everyday skills, such as driving a car. A year later, I joined the Army Reserve for six years.

During that time, I got married and a year later gave birth to my daughter. My learning disability affected my ability to achieve certain skills in the Army Reserve, therefore I was discharged.

After that, I decided to go to college, and it was during that time that I was tested and diagnosed with a learning disability. This gave me a sense of relief since I did not know what was wrong with me for all those years. I started doing research on my disability and learned how to cope with it. Sadly, I was not able to complete college.

I applied for a job at Burger King, but the task to remember how to prepare a burger was difficult. For many years, I struggled to hold a job. This increased my anxiety level and caused feelings of depression. To cope with anxiety and depression, I was given medication, but that did not help.

I moved with my husband and daughter to Alabama. There I returned to college and attempted to obtain a degree in social work, but to no avail. I was not able to complete my degree. My depression and anxiety intensified. My life began to fall apart. My husband was arrested and sent to prison. Our home was in need of repairs. Being a single parent made it difficult for me to raise my daughter. I was working two jobs and managing my daughter was difficult. My daughter was put in a Christian group home, where she stayed until she finished high school and college.

Without

God’s help and the Chelsea House Program I feel I would

not be here today.

During that season, I moved into public housing where I stayed for a year. I then moved in with my daughter in Tallahassee, FL for approximately one year. It became uncomfortable and I moved out with nowhere to go.

I visited Kearny Center and met with a social worker, who told me about Chelsea House. The social worker gave me an application to complete for Chelsea House and told me to contact Beth Burns for an interview. I was accepted into the program and moved into the Chelsea House that same day.

My whole life changed after moving into the Chelsea House, because of the rules, structure, and welcoming atmosphere. As a result of Beth’s kindness and patience, I was able to turn my life around, restore my faith in God and receive His healing and grace. I was able to overcome my fears and insecurities. I believe God took me to Chelsea House so I could learn not to worry about everything and to trust Him and lean not on my own understanding.

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Wendy’s Story How Chelsea House Saved My Life

My name is Wendy Strickland. I am a 56-year-old mother and proud Grandma to the most adorable 2-year old in the world. My current situation is a far cry from what it was in 2016. Life was tumultuous that year. I was recovering from four back surgeries, two years prior, and my daughter was suffering from lupus and dermatomyositis, two very cruel auto-immune diseases that kept us on the road for five.

Fall from Grace: Constantly absent from work meant low to no leave balances.

Next Step Down: Divorced. No alimony and unable to maintain cars, home and other earthly possession.

Next Step Hell: Helpless, hurting and homeless!

Someone told me about the Chelsea House. I had never even heard of transitional living. Even if I had, I always had my own things.

Abandoned, alone and scared, I entered the Chelsea House. I had lost everything including hope.

I met with Beth Burns, Director of the Chelsea House. After I was accepted into the program Beth began speaking words of encouragement to me. It was hard to receive though due to the challenges I was facing. I was tired, I felt like I had come through a combat zone, but I knew God loved me, and He promised never to leave or forsake me.

After about a month or so, I began to feel better about my life. I never thought that I could live with so little. However, I saw that little is much in the Master’s hands. I never thought I could live with so many women from all walks of life, that had similar stories. Through much laughter and tears in the house, I grew to love these women. After a while it became apparent that it was time for me to become house mom! I loved it, but certainly tragedy struck again.

The vision in my right eye became blurry, eventually the pain became unbearable. I sought help from doctors only to find out my retina was detached in my right eye. After four surgeries, it still did not re-attach leaving me blind in that eye. Then another blow came, I had already begun to develop glaucoma in my left eye. As the days in the months passed, my vision became worse, but I was determined that this would not stop me from moving forward. Mrs. Burns helped me through the surgeries. She read the Bible to me, played the piano and prayed. Eventually, I moved forward.

I was tired, I felt like I had come through a combat zone, But I knew God loved me and he promised never to leave or forsake me.

After the surgeries, I got a paid internship with the division of blind services. During that time also, I contacted Good Samaritans Network to see if I could work with them in any capacity. The organization answered in the affirmative and I began working with them.

Soon, the Lord spoke to me about starting a ministry called AngelWingz Family Crisis Intervention Center, Inc. In 1986, my aunt was murdered. I have always wondered what I could do to help women. Well, heading up the Benevolence department every day presented a new opportunity to work with victims of domestic violence and human trafficking. Through those experiences, AngelWingz took shape. I began taking classes and going to seminars, and conferences to educate myself. I earned certificates from the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Human Trafficking, and that help to give me a drive like no other. The Good Samaritan Network and Chelsea House incubated a ministry within me and allowed me to work with women in the community. These organizations provided opportunities for me to excel in my ministry, where we teach women to move forward.

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Anonymous How Chelsea House Saved My Life

I’m honored to share my experiences at Chelsea House. I have great memories that will never be forgotten. I feel like I have been a part of a warm, welcoming family for many years. My first day at Chelsea House was phenomenal. A very brief phone call on my behalf, led to me meeting Beth Burns, the amazing Director of Chelsea House.

Director Burns acted expeditiously and with much compassion. She interviewed me at Good Samaritan Thrift Store, and I could feel love in the atmosphere from Director Burns and the other team members.

Once Director Burns and I met face-to-face, I saw the passion in her eyes along with a discerning spirit to match. After I analyzed my surroundings, we proceeded with our conversation. I had some minor issues with my roommate which resulted in me being homeless. All I had was my outdated college tote bag. I feared being in the public eye without a single family member or soul to lean on. As per Chelsea House protocol, Director Burns clothed me with appropriate attire.

Chelsea House Program answered all of my prayers in one day. I not only gained a family, but I gained stability, peace and prosperity. My first day outside of Chelsea House was for a Bible Study held at Christian Heritage Church, right next door. Later that evening, I was given a tour of the house. Chelsea House is very clean, comfortable and elegant. The next day, Director Burns and I talked about employment opportunities and by the following day, we had a follow up conversation based off the leads she had. I was granted an interview and some of the members of the Chelsea House team transported me to my interview. I was hired on the spot. I was ecstatic. The job was within walking distance of Good Samaritan Thrift Store.

From my experience, Chelsea House is filled with life, light, love, and feelings of permanency. I would highly recommend Chelsea House to every soul that is seeking guidance. I would like to publicly thank Director Burns and the other members of Chelsea House for their contribution to my success. I will always be a part of Chelsea House.

Homeless?

Hopeless?

Hurting?

FEMININE PRODUCTS

TEA PARTIES

JOB-READINESS HOUSING

LIFE SKILLS

FRIENDSHIP

SPIRITUAL ENRICHMENT CLOTHING

MENTORING

TOILETRIES

Want to help?

SHOP ** VOLUNTEER ** DONATE

www.GSNcares.org 850.933.1449

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Anonymous How Chelsea House Saved My Life

Today, I share with you on the 8th wonder of the world, the most monumental, the Chelsea House. This place of refuge was sparked by my mother, Chelsea Batts’ dream and passion for helping homeless and hurting women. The Chelsea House has opened my eyes to a reality that I never knew existed. I have never been homeless, but the Chelsea House has made me sensitive to those who have been. The Chelsea House has taught me how to love people in their dark moments, to meet people where they are, and that giving a second chance to someone changes everything.

Growing up, the Chelsea House gave me hope that I didn’t know I needed. The work that this organization is doing for the community has been proven time and time again to be life-changing. The presence of God is felt in every conversation and feelings of grace and love fills your spirit with every interaction.

Because of the programs that the Chelsea House provides, the participants can develop goals, and work towards achieving them with the support of fellow residents and staff. Because of the residents’ high morale, organizational events have great support.

While attending the Annual banquet, I was able to talk with people in the Chelsea House program and hear their testimonials about how the Chelsea House continues to impact their lives. The women shared about their different challenges—drug addictions, domestic violence, and other trials—yet, in the end they told me that God instilled hope in them for a better tomorrow.

The Chelsea House caused me to want to be more connected with my community. I have witnessed the great results that were achieved, and they have inspired me to volunteer in my community. I have volunteered at the Boys and Girls Club, my local church, food pantries, soup kitchens, and many other things.

In addition, the Chelsea House has inspired me to pursue a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in social work. After I complete my studies at Fort Valley State University, I desire to go on an 11-month mission trip to help countries in crisis and share the gospel.

The Chelsea house has taught me how to, love people in their dark moments, to meet people where they are, and that giving a second chance to someone changes everything .

After I return from my mission trip, I will continue God’s work. I will open a homeless shelter that caters to women, children and men. We will provide meals, clothing, worship services, GED classes, and programs that will integrate them back into the working society. The Chelsea House has inspired me to do this because it has showed me the importance of establishing an organization that create opportunities for the homeless. People treat homeless people as outsiders or someone inferior to them, however, that isn’t the Christian way. St. Luke 6:31 states, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

Health and Fitness

Think Fit, Speak Fit, Be Fit By: Renee Dantzler, CPT

T

he journey to get and stay fit is not for the fainthearted. Losing weight and getting into shape for a special event is easy – maintaining it is the challenge.

You must have faith that it is possible. You must believe that you can do anything you put your mind, body, and energy to. You must believe it before you even see it. It is not going to be easy – nothing worth your time and energy ever is, but it is worth it – you are worth it. Have faith, believe it is possible, and you can achieve it.

During a conversation with one of my clients, I asked, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad do you want to achieve your goals?” My client answered, “7”. I told my client, in order to make that a 10 she needed to first believe that her goals are possible. Without faith, I let her know that she would find it a challenge to stay the course, and she had to have the faith that she could do it. Most people start out determined to achieve their goals but lack the faith to achieve them.

As a personal trainer, I know that we can shape our bodies. However, we must work even harder to shape our minds. “Where the mind goes, the body follows.” I truly believe that if we think we can, we

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can. The Bible declares, “For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 (KJV). It all starts with our thinking.

We are inundated with images in social media, television, etc. that show supposedly what a fit person should look like. These images depict different sizes, shapes, athleticism and so much more. This has skewed our views of what fitness looks like for us as individuals. Do not allow these images to dictate to you what fitness is. Many of those images are not even real.

If you want to see change, you must make a change! You have heard it before – be the change you wish to see. Sadly, many people do not like change. We easily become comfortable with the familiar. I once heard a motivational speaker say, “There are only two people who like change, and that is cashiers and babies.” Change often takes us to unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory. You must keep in mind, positive change is good.

Changing what you say is a good start. If you want to change the way you look, don’t just change what you do and what you eat – change the way you speak. The Bible declares “death and life are in the

power of the tongue...” Proverbs 18:21 (KJV). The more we speak those positive things we wish to see, the more we create the change that we hope to see.

One of my clients who is 69 years old recently received a diagnosis of early-stage Parkinson’s disease. A couple of weeks ago, she came to her training session with me and was so down. She was talking negatively. I told her how important it is to stay positive and to speak positively. I reminded her that where the mind goes the body follows. We spent the entire session discussing the importance of practicing replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, then purposefully speaking the positive thoughts. Despite how we feel, we do not need to speak negative thoughts aloud. We need to decree and declare good things over our lives. We have the power over what we speak out of our mouth.

The next time she came in for a training session, she had a different thought process and more positive words. She even stated that she noticed the difference in how she felt energy-wise. Purposeful thinking and speaking positively will bring about positive changes. She said, “I am not going to let this beat me!” I am so proud of her. She had a great session!

Negative thoughts are inevitable, but you have the power, ability, and the right to stop them in their tracks. Your tongue is a powerful tool – use it wisely. Right smack in the middle of a negative thought, say, “Stop! No!” Change the line of thinking immediately. You have that power, just like that. Fitness requires much more than just exercising. We must, Think FIT, Speak FIT, to feel and Be FIT! September/October 2019 PDWMAG.COM 47

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Author Spotlight

Melinda Michelle We are pleased to feature Melinda Michelle, an award-winning author and spiritual warfare strategist.

According to Melinda, "If the shoe fits...own it! Like most women, I love my shoes, but I'm talking about purpose! All of us were created with a gift and a purpose. You have to decide to put away the fear and own who you are. If it's your gift, own it. If it's your purpose own it! Live your life on, in and full of purpose! " Melinda’s books Melinda is known for the Chronicles of Warfare series, a 7-Book series that brings to life, Ephesians 6:12 - “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

Join these fictional characters as they play out the truth of God's Word in a wild, unpredictable, suspense-filled, drama induced thrill ride, with a touch of romance to make it complete. This is spiritual warfare like you've never seen it before.

Check out Melinda’s books on Amazon: https:// www.amazon.com/Melinda-Michelle/e/B008XNRKFO/ Spiritual Warfare Conference On September 20-22, 2019, Melinda presents her inaugural Spiritual Warfare Conference in Tallahassee, Florida. Join her and her team for an eye-opening experience into the spirit realm. For more information, visit http:// www.melindamichelle21.com/Conference/

September/October 2019 PDWMAG.COM 49

About Melinda Melinda Michelle is a Florida native – born in Jacksonville, raised in Sanford and currently resides in Tallahassee. Tallahassee became her home when she graduated from the renowned HBCU, Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University, with a Bachelor of Science in Accounting. Shortly after the completion of her bachelors, Melinda received an MBA with a concentration in Finance and Accounting from American Intercontinental University. After enjoying a career in business for a decade, she stepped out on faith to fulfill the purpose inside of her – writing.

Melinda Michelle is the author of 18 published works. Her titles include both fiction and nonfiction. Although the genres vary, spiritual warfare is her signature subject. She remains true to a theme in all her books – the love and power of the Almighty God. Her work has won awards and brought her before many audiences as a speaker. She has served as a panelist, keynote speaker and conference orator tackling the subject of spiritual warfare for women's groups, prisons and churches. Her publishing company, Global Multi Media Enterprises, currently has 10 authors with over 30 published works. She hopes to expand her company's reach and catalog in the coming year.

Connect with Melinda: Website: www.melindamichelle21.com Website: gmme@melindamichelle21.com Amazon: http://amzn.to/2uuWKmL Instagram: @themelindamichelle Facebook: Melinda Michelle Twitter: @MelindaMichell

50 PDWMAG.COM September/October 2019

September/October PDWMAG.COM 51

Family

START AT HOME By: Ishah Whipple

I’ve pretty much spent my whole life in and out of church. While growing up, pastor’s kids were referred to as the PK’s and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a compliment. Most PK’s were known to be the troublemakers.

As I grew older, I always wondered why pastor’s children or minister’s children in general seemed to be pegged as troublemakers, when they have parents who were ministers and well respected within the community. After having children of my own and getting into ministry, God began to show me why.

Now, my disclaimer in all of this is that not all minister’s children are pegged as troublemakers, but I’ve seen and heard it so many times in my life that it prompted me to look deeper, especially when my husband and I became more involved in ministry. We have four children.

One of the biggest complaints from children of ministers is the amount of time their parents spend doing their ministerial duties. Because of that, the children are not getting enough attention. Children end up behaving out of character to gain their parents’ attention.

Years ago, when my husband and I became involved in ministry, we found that our home life began to crumble within that first year.

We were always busy, our children were suffering, and our marriage was falling apart.

We were so busy trying to minister to the world that we began to neglect our very own home. We found ourselves in a place where God had to remind us that ministry starts at home. How can you minister to others while your home is falling apart? Get it together!

Shift your priorities!

At that point, my husband and I stopped

52 PDWMAG.COM September/October 2019

“

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

Exodus 20:12 KJV

everything and took time to make our home and family a priority, so that we can properly do ministry outside the home.

Several Scriptures come to mind when speaking about family and ministry.

“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (KJV) “My son, keep your father’s command, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” Proverbs 6:20 (KJV) “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)

the world.

I encourage you to reflect on your home life. Take time to think on your priorities and ask God to show you if or where a shift needs to take place. 

Pray with your spouse and children before you start a prayer line.



Start family Bible Study before you become a Sunday school teacher.

Worship at home before you become a worship leader.  Preach to and lead your children before you grab a mic. 

Before you jump into ministry, start at home.

Until next time, be blessed!

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12 (KJV) Living for God is our ultimate honor and we as parents are the frontline for our children, unbelieving spouses, and anyone else that is in our households. Who better to teach our children than us? The people in our homes see us day-in and day-out and will mimic how we live. Our first priority for ministry should always be our home and our family.

The Bible says in I Timothy 5:8, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Apart from our relationship with God, our family and home should always be our highest priority.

The saying goes, a sick person cannot heal another sick person. Well, in the same sense, a home in disarray, cannot help to heal another home. Our ministry must start at home before it can branch out into the community, the church, or

September/October PDWMAG.COM 53

Share My Story

“One day, I woke up at 30 years old, morbidly obese at 325 pounds with high blood pressure. I was borderline diabetic with a newborn daughter.

There was no one to tell me that I am loved. On top of all of that, I had no self-control, and no ambition or motivation.”

What is self-love? Of course, I know the formal definition.

However, in my mind, self-love was someone showing interest in me, saying, “I love you” with little to no action. In addition, I would be making enough money to live comfortably or achieving goals that were set before me. I am sure some can relate. Truth be told, I did not learn or fully understand what self-love was, until my adult life. This was a life lesson that I learned the hard way. One day, I woke up at 30 years old, morbidly obese at 325 pounds with high blood pressure. I was borderline diabetic with a newborn daughter.

There was no one to tell me that I am loved. On top of all of that, I had no self-control, and no ambition or motivation. It took the next seven years to learn how crucial loving myself was, so that I

Che Haughton

Self Love could live my best life.

When you are at the lowest point in your life, it is hard to see the top. So, where do you start? This is how I overcame obesity, fell in love with myself and started living my best life.

Let’s go back to as long ago as I can remember. Here goes!

I’ve always been overweight. I am sure that I weighed close to 400 pounds in high school. I was made fun of and laughed at. Yes, I was the butt of most jokes. This was the most debilitating and humiliating season of my life. It still shakes my core when I think about it. Being a fatherless child, I looked for love in all the wrong places, seeking what I was missing. Love!

In my adult life, I was always the smart one, career-driven, moneymaker but never had a real boyfriend. I only met men online because I could be whomever I wanted to be and never had to meet them. It all caused me to overeat and love on something that wouldn’t make fun of me or judge me– food! It was always there, always satisfying, always forgiving, and never judged me.

Fast forward to 2010, I became a new parent to a little girl. I weighed 325 pounds. I was sad, depressed, unmotivated, heartbroken, alone, lost…I could go on and on and on. High blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, and joint pain were all a part of my everyday life. How could I care for her emotionally, mentally or physically in this condition?

“It was not until I became the most important thing to me that I knew how much I was worth.”

Self-love was something I had to do for us! It took me years—2555 days (seven years) to be exact, to beat this addiction and take my life back.

How did I beat my food addiction? Yes, it was an addiction. This is where my journey began: Mental Health

I went to talk to someone who did not know me. She only knew that I was depressed based on the way that I looked (yes, depression shows on the outside), the way I carried myself (head hanging down and no eye contact) and the tears that I shed when she introduced herself. This took courage. I did not go there with any expectations because of what society told me.

However, I will never forget that first exercise. Write down everything and everyone that you feel has wronged you, and why you feel they have wronged you. I started with my father because as a young woman with no father figure, it definitely made me more dependent on things that could show me love. I focused more on peace and patience than pacifying emotions with food.

Forgiveness During counseling sessions, I learned to forgive myself. That was so important. How could I forgive anyone else? I forgave myself for all of the past mistakes and all of the hurt I had been harboring. Then I forgave those that I felt have wronged me.

The Struggle Anything worth having is worth working for, right? Absolutely, but I struggled. I struggled with myself over food choices, not wanting to go workout, choosing others over me, and fighting with my old self who was preventing my new self from being born.

It took time to break those bad habits. My success did not happen overnight. When I became the most important thing to me, I realized that the struggle was not that big.

Train Your Thoughts Training my thoughts was the most difficult part of

this journey because I had to get real with myself.

My thoughts would always lean toward the negative. From no one will ever love me to I will fail as a mother. Each time I felt my thoughts going in a negative direction, I would insert a power word or phrase. I will not fail. I will lose weight. I can do this! I do not need that extra slice of pizza. Are you really hungry? Or, are you attempting to mask something? These are all of the hard questions I had to ask myself. Please do not skip this step. Oftentimes, we are lying to ourselves. A breakthrough will not happen until you start to correct yourself.

Finding My Worth Why was my job, relationship, family more important than my temple? Something that God granted me the privilege of having and taking care of. It was not until I became the most important thing to me that I knew just how much I was worth!

I love myself enough to eat the best foods (currently, I’m a pescatarian), work out (3-5 days per week), control my thoughts, place myself first, love myself more than anyone else could. I fell in love with myself. My wide set eyes, newfound dimples, gap teeth and all. It all makes me who I am! Me! And, I am worthy!

Having done this work helped me to gain control of my life. Today, I stand here having lost 160 pounds. I understand my worth and what I am worthy of, even if it comes from me alone. Be brave enough to face your fears, demand respect and fall in love with taking care of yourself, mind, body and spirit. You are capable of living your best life! Do the work!

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Theresa Payne: The Lord will call your name!

I was raised in the church and heard of God but didn't quite understand Him. He seemed mad at everything and didn't know how He could actually "love" me if everything I did was going to put me in hell. My perspective of God was so warped. But I didn't have a choice in the matter, so I went to church 7 days a week for most of my life. Then "hell" hit my home and all kinds of things were happening. I thought this was the perfect time to break away from all this religious living and get to living my life the way I wanted to. So, I met a friend of a friend who was 14 years my senior. He told me that I was beautiful and even said the "L" word: love. He introduced me to drugs and alcohol and I just knew he loved me. One day, things got "steamy" and one thing leading to another, but I

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wasn't ready. And since he "loved" me, I told him thinking he would respect my wishes. Things quickly got out of hand and I found myself "going to a happy place" in my mind while he took from me what was supposed to be deemed as precious, my virginity was no longer mine but his.

After it was all said and done, I got up and went home. Because there were so many things going on at home, I never told my parents. They wouldn't believe me anyway. The only way to end my torment was to kill myself but how? I figured something quick would be best, so I headed over to the Subway one day.

No note left behind. What did it matter? I just didn't want to hurt anymore. God wasn't there, or so I thought.

I did find it odd that no one was there in the station.

Well, better for me because no one will see what I was about to do. I figured that if I rocked back and forth hard enough that I would "accidentally" fall in front of the oncoming train and "IF" God was really there, He would see it was an accident and let me go to heaven. If not, I was on my way to hell but hell "has to be better than this"... right?

I began to feel the wind blowing, so I knew the train was coming. I looked around and still saw no one there. That's still weird but okay. I then looked and saw

the tunnel light up so I know the train was closer and I stepped up to the yellow line. The very edge of the platform and began to rock. I was scared but didn't cry. Soon this pain was going to be over. I closed my eyes and the sound of the train came closer and I was growing anxious.

Suddenly I heard my name loudly, "THERESA!". I jumped back thinking someone is watching what I am about to do, and the train missed me. I was stunned. I looked around but still saw no one. I waited for the train to leave and looked at the other side and saw no one. I was totally confused. Who called my name as if they knew me? Who called my name as if they were watching what I was about to do? Suddenly I realized that it was the LORD who called my name. This was the very beginning of many changes that I would have to make but this time, I understood that I was not alone. For the very first time, I understood that I mattered to the LORD. I didn't know why He called my name that day, but I am living proof today that the LORD will CALL YOUR NAME in the midst of pain, hurt, disappointment, frustration and the many areas of life in which we need be comforted. And He will show us just who He is.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NKJV) “He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.�

God has called you and He is faithful. And what He said He will do with your life for His Glory, He will surely do and in His perfect timing. My beloved Sister in Christ, your name is about to be called LOUDLY and ultimately for His Glory!

All around the world women from different walks of life are letting their light shine by sharing their story and encouraging women.

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