live magazine March Issue

livemagazine L I V E I N V I C T O R Y. O R G

MARCH 2010

Vol. 1 Issue 19

GOD

DON’T BLOCK

WANTs

YOU

ThE FLOW

ThERE’s ALWAYS A Choice

PROVERBS 31

hUsBANd

INTERVIEW WITh

SONJA

SAMUEL

BEAUTIFULLY ANd WONdERFULLY mAdE

SPECIAL REPORT:

7 WOMEN

SUCCESSfUL ENTREpRENEURs spEAk

PUBLISHER SUBER PULLINS PUBLISHING MANAGING PARTNER EXECUTIVE EDITOR EDITOR-IN-CHIEF SENIOR ADMINISTRATOR DESIGN AND LAYOUT COVER DESIGN

SUBER PULLINS PUBLISHING JAMAR R. SUBER CHERYL A. PULLINS LORRAINE WILLIAMS ZACHARY PULLINS NICHOLAS DeYOUNG SWAK DESIGN

STAFF WRITERS

BRIDGETTE COLLINS SHELBY HILL ZACHARY PULLINS, SR. MARNIE SWEDBERG LEA M. LUCAS SHANAE DELL BRENDA D. DENNIS Deana Murphy JEWELL R. POWELL

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

RHONDA WHITE MICHELLE BERSELL SYLVIA BROWDER Muriel Larson Kimberly A. Sanders

PUBLIC RELATIONS DIRECTOR WEBSITE

TIFFANY EASLEY www.liveinvictory.org

EDITORIAL ADDRESS 11406 Warwick Pointe Drive Brandon, FL 33511 ISSN: 1945-5178 live magazine is a monthly online publication, supported by our advertisers.

For advertising information contact us at marketing@liv-magazine.com.

Permissions: live magazine requires written permission for use of any published article. Upon written approval “Used by permission of live magazine” must be used. Copyright 2010.

All rights reserved.

Contents

march 2010 Volume 1 • Issue 19

5 Book of the Month 6 Connect Despite the Prospect of Criticism 8 Stewardship of Stuff 10 Appropritating Power 12 The Answer is Yes Now What's the Question High is Your Pain Tolerance 18 How When it comes to Stress?

20 There is Always a Choice 22 Don't Block the Flow 34 6 Dating Rules to Lose!

36 Proverbs 31: Insight into Your Husband's Heart 42 The Road to Living Healthier

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SPECIAL REPORT

38

7 Successful Women Entreprenuers Speak

Beautifully and Wonderfully Made Interview with Sonja Samuel

Let’s go!!

I absolutely love spring. The dawning of a new day.

The blossoming of fresh flowers and trees always put a smile on my face. I love to be outside with the gentle breeze gently caressing my face. Especially after the winter we’ve had here on the East Coast, the thought of spring almost makes me giggle. Out with the old and in with the new. I simply love it.

At the same time it’s almost hard to believe that we

are already in the month of March. Where has the time gone? What happened to that New Year’s resolution you made to spend more time with God, lose weight, start exercising, eat right, get your finances in order, or start that business??? I applaud those of you who set goals and stuck to them. Congratulations to you.

But if you are like many women, who juggle so many responsibilities, you may have gotten off course. Don’t beat yourself up if you have fallen off course. Just get back on task.

I know what you are thinking. “Where do I begin”? Well over the next few months live magazine is going to

help you. We will be running a series called “7 Successful Women Entrepreneurs Speak…On Beauty, Financial Wealth, Health, Life Balance, Nutrition, Small Business and Spirituality. Challenges Women Face and the Solutions”! By Sylvia Browder. These articles are packed with information and steps to get you right back on track. We are kicking off the series starting with Beauty and Finances. You know we have to look good but we can’t go broke doing it.

We really want to hear from you the reader. Starting this month we are launching our “Question of the

Month”. A new question will be posted each month and your responses will appear in the following month’s issue.

This is away you can actively participate in the making of the magazine. Don’t stop there, please feel free to send us any and all your questions and suggestions. We will print some of your responses in upcoming issues of live.

We at live are so grateful to you for your continued support and I look forward to reading all of your

comments. Until next time, continue to live in victory everyday.

Lorraine Williams Editor-in-Chief 4

live magazine - February 2010

Book of the Month

the power to prosper

21 days to financial freedom Michelle Singletary

In her softcover book The Power to Prosper, award-winning writer Michelle Singletary has a field-tested financial challenge for you. For twenty-one days, you will put away your credit cards and buy only what you need for survival. With Michelle's guidance during this three-week financial fast, you'll discover how to:

~ Break your spending habit ~ Handle money with your significant other or your spouse ~ Break your bondage to debt with the Debt Dash Plan ~ Make smart investments ~ Be prepared for any contingency with a Life Happens Fund ~ Stop worrying about money and find the priceless power of financial peace As you discover practical ways to achieve financial freedom, you'll experience something even more amazing ... your faith and generosity will increase, too.

Michelle Singletary is a nationally syndicated columnist for The Washington Post. Her column, "The Color of Money" is an award-winning column, which is now carried in more than 100 newspapers across the country including the Atlanta Journal Constitution, Miami Herald, Boston Globe, Tampa Tribune and Philadelphia Inquirer.

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by Marnie Swedberg We live in a culture of critics and throw-away experts, where “Monday Night Quarterbacks” love to point out every mistake pros make. Politicians, the news media and “talking heads” rip people to shreds without a second thought.

When we expose our thoughts, words or lives to others, we become fair game—an easy target for someone who has a different perspective, suffers from low self-esteem, or is simply having a bad day.

What is your response when people attack you with harsh words? How do you handle yourself when your work or best intentions are misunderstood or interpreted incorrectly by others?

The writer of Hebrews says that Jesus learned obedience through what He suffered. If you ask me, receiving harsh criticism counts as suffering.

Years ago my mother-in-law, Doris, served as a church secretary. She told me her secret for remaining calm under fire when she said, “I talk to God about it, learn what I can, forgive and move on.”

Her simple pattern has served me well through many verbal and written attacks, and it might help you, too.

Connecting with others,

from the safety of 6

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3. Forgive.

Jesus forgave us for every sin, past, present and future. Sometimes we simply cannot forgive someone, we are too hurt. Not a problem! Just ask God to flow His love and forgiveness through you to the person who caused you pain.

4. Move on.

1. Talk to God about it.

He loves you. He knows your true motives, has your best interests at heart and can heal any open wounds.

2. Learn from it.

There is almost always a nugget of truth buried beneath false accusations. Dig until you find it or are sure it doesn’t exist.

Learn whatever you can from the experience and be thankful for the opportunity to become more like Jesus.

After yielding yourself and your attacker to Jesus, and learning the lessons He ordained for the day, go forward without looking back. If the situation or pain comes to mind again, repeat steps 1-3. Continue in this manner until all is calm.

Remembering a past hurt is normal. We are not sinning when we have a thought or experience a feeling, good or bad. The problem occurs when we nurture negative feelings, focus on past pain and harbor unforgiveness.

If you encounter other human beings on a regular basis, it is only a matter of time until someone clobbers you. It’s no big deal unless you choose to make it one. Go ahead: Expose your thoughts to the world, share your words with others and invest your life for the glory of God.

God’s hand, is a wonderful way to live.

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W

ebster’s defines stewardship: the conducting, supervising, or managing of something; especially: the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care.

The Bible tells us that the Earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof. Therefore everything that we have in our possession belongs to God and is therefore God’s property. This being said; let’s talk about a subject near and dear to our hearts as working Christians. I’m speaking about caring for the chariots that carry us to and from the location where we go to gather seed for the Kingdom of God. Yes, our vehicles which are not to be worshiped but are to be cared and maintained.

I myself have a special place in my heart for cars. I grew up on the streets of Los Angeles, California where your vehicle is an extension of your personality and character. I loved watching the low-riders, and every tricked out car that I observed growing up as an Inner-city youngster. I grew into an adult with the same passion for vehicles as well as their care.

The word care translates into good stewardship as well Preventative Maintenance; meaning fixing things before they break or wear out.

of

Stewardship Zachary Pullins

I use a simple schedule in order to ensure that my vehicles continue running in tip top condition. Please keep in mind that both Oil and Coolant are the life blood of your vehicle; therefore you must ensure that these two items are checked and rechecked especially during the summer months and as winter transitions to spring. If you choose to use regular grade motor oil you shouldn’t ever go beyond 5,000 miles between oil changes. The more sophisticated stewards generally choose synthetic motor oil which should be changed every 10,000 maximum. There is no such thing as lifetime motor oil or lifetime fluids of any kind because all fluids will suffer break down in viscosity because of the rapid changes in heat and cooling based upon stop and go traffic and the high temperatures associated with the operation of motor vehicles. Coolant needs to be replaced or flushed every two years or every 60,000 miles whichever occurs first. Brake fluid needs to be replaced or flushed every two years or 60,000 miles whichever comes first because like all the other fluids it will lose its viscosity and with it your breaking power will fade. The next items that deserve attention are your transmission and differential fluids. These items also need to be serviced every two years or every 60,000 miles. The transmission can be a big ticket replacement item if ignored as well as the differential. These two items are the backbone of your vehicle as they are the drive-train. The air filter and fuel filter both need to be replaced every 60,000 as well because they add to your fuel economy and smooth engine operation. The spark plugs aide in the efficient operation of your engine therefore they need to be replaced every 60,000 miles as well. Additionally, your alignment needs to be checked every 15,000 miles because it will extend the wear of your tires and ensure maximum fuel efficiency. Lastly, your tire

Stuff

pressure should be checked every other time you fill you tank. The number one way to improve your gas mileage is to ensure you have the proper tire pressure in your tires.

The proof is in the pudding; I purchased a vehicle in August of 1999 in Europe as I was in the military with zero miles. It is now almost ten years and 290,000 miles later; it is still running and in pristine condition. Following the above schedule is the proof I offer to prove that stewardship with the things God entrusts us with will work if you work it. Stewardship is about taking care of all the things God has given us.

I’ve learned that you can never expect anything more from God if you can’t first take care of the things He has already entrusted to your care. This includes children, money, education and your life. The parable of talents immediately comes to mind as I pen this article.

One individual is given five talents, another two and lastly another one talent. The Master goes away on a journey and when he returns he call in the servants to account for their stewardship. The servant with five; gained five more. The servant with two; gained two more. Lastly the servant with one buried it and thought good to return the one. The Master blasted the servant who buried the talent because he chose to do nothing with it. God expects us to care for all that he entrusts to us because ultimately; it all belongs to God. In closing I again want to remind you that God wants us to have things; not things to have us. Remember God is a jealous God and you will have no other God’s before Him. Therefore seek ye first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and all things will be added onto you. Until next month dear hearts, friends and loved ones; keep it real and keep it Christ.

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POWER

by Muriel Larson

APPROPRIATING

E

arly in my Christian life the Lord showed me part of the tremendous power available to us when we apply Philippians 4:4-8 to our lives. My husband was out of work, and we were making payments on a new house and car.

Then I dented a lawyer’s car with that new car of ours! He sued us in small claims court. We were broke and facing payments; I worried myself sick.

But one Sunday our pastor gave a God-sent benediction: “And the peace of God that passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (KJV).

“How?” I wondered. “How can I find that peace?” At home I looked up the verse to check its context. I found it in Philippians 4:7, and the verse preceding it said: “Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” Kneeling by my bed, I first thanked God for the ways in which He had helped us in the past. Then I fervently prayed concerning the lawsuit. As I trusted the Lord with my worries, His peace came into my heart. Then a God-given thought came to my mind: “Call the lawyer and explain your situation.”

I did-and the lawyer responded, “When I saw your new car, I didn’t realize you were in such a bind. Just send me $20 and I’ll forget the lawsuit.”

That day I learned two truths that have never failed to help me have peace in every situation. First, I bring everything to the Lord, thanking Him for past answers. Second, I have confidence that He knows the answers to my problems and will guide me by His Spirit.

Giving thanks is a vital part of peace. As we thank the Lord for the ways He has helped us in the past, it fills our hearts with faith that He will continue to help now and in the future.

THE POWER OF REJOICING Some years later I experienced in a special way the power of rejoicing in the Lord always, as the Apostle Paul advised in Philippians 4:4.

I had just received word from one of my book publishers that they had gone bankrupt--owing me royalties of at least $2,500! Now that is a terrific blow, especially for a person who makes her living as a writer. I had been planning to use that royalty money toward helping my 17-year-old daughter go to college.

Sitting at my desk, I wept. “Why did you let this happen, God?” I cried.

The doorbell rang and I went to answer. It was one of those student salesmen trying to sell books or magazines. I looked at him dully, and said, “I don’t want any--go away.”

As I closed the door, I suddenly got the impression the Lord was saying to me, “Go--call that young salesman back.” So I did.

Apologizing for my rudeness, I explained to the young man what had happened, and feebly added, “But I’m going to try to look to the Lord about this, even though I don’t understand it.”

The young man’s face lit up. “Are you a Christian?” he asked. “I am too!” He was a ministerial student, and he too had been feeling depressed by the lack of interest people had in what he was trying to sell. But we got to talking about the Lord and rejoicing in all He had done for us. What a time we enjoyed! In just ten minutes our worlds turned from night to day!

Before going on his way, the young man exclaimed, “I’m so glad you called me back!”

“I am, too!” I said happily.

I returned to my work a renewed person. Gone was the gloom and depression that had sunk me before. My faith had renewed--and I learned just how much applying Philippians 4:4 in my life could do for me. It works every time!

CONCERNING THE WAY WE LIVE For a long time I wondered what verse 5 was doing in this passage. The King James Bible said, “Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.” When one day I checked “moderation” in “Vine’s Expository Dictionary. The Greek word, “epieikes,” translated as “moderation,” also means

gentleness, patience, unselfishness. Ah, light dawns.

This has to do with our behavior towards others.

And how can we truly rejoice in the Lord or experience His peace that passes all understanding unless we have His own selfless, loving, and kind attitude toward those with whom we live? We cannot. I have found that if someone hurts me, and I retain anger about it, I lose my peace and rejoicing spirit until I forgive that person.

“The Lord is at hand” gives us a fine reason for living as true Christians in respect to others.

THE POWER IN RIGHT THINKING For years I wondered how certain people could quote Scriptures and claim to be devout Christians although actually being persons very difficult to live with, abusive toward their families and others.

Then I read Philippians 4:8 again: “.Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things” (NIV).

Ah-ha--that’s it! I suddenly realized from the negative conversation of those persons that their thought life was filled with hostility, criticism, anger, resentment, and judgmental attitudes toward other people. They certainly didn’t rejoice in the Lord or enjoy God’s peace!

Philippians 4:8 gives us a good list of basic thought patterns we can substitute for hurtful thinking. The way we think governs what we are. Therefore victory over our thought life, with the Lord’s help, will result in our becoming Christians who practice kindness, love, and patience toward others and rejoices in the Lord and experiences His peace.

Dr. Muriel Larson has had 17 books published, and as “Dr. Muriel,” she gives advice by e-mail for Truth Media e-zines. www.AdviceDrMuriel.blogspot.com www.liveinvictory.org

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designing for the king with Deana Murphy

the answer is yes now what’s the question?

T

his morning I was reading an article and there was this headline in big bold letters:

THE ANSWER IS YES NOW WHAT’S THE QUESTION? That immediately grabbed my attention and instantly I began to connect it with home living and design. Some recent statistics reveal that people are “at home” more than ever which means it is essential to bring both the visual and spiritual harmony into their home in pursuit of peace and comfort. This is why… …Thirteen percent of parents with grown children say one of their adult sons or daughters has boomeranged back home in the past year. Eleven percent of all adults eighteen or older live with their parents in their home. Thirty-eight percent of women say they are fulltime homemakers.

Twenty-nine percent of the stay-at-home mothers had an infant in the household. As the number of babyboomers reach the age of fifty, it is expected that they will spend more years caring for elderly parents than they spend raising their own children.

Economic statistics reveal unemployment is at an all time high causing widespread financial difficulties. As a result undoubtedly more and more people are staying closer to home seeking it as a place of peace and refuge.

And with more and more blended families on the rise, peace in the home is not automatic but has to be established and then maintained.

Now what’s the question?

Is it feasible to make upgrades to the home in efforts to bring more harmony and comfort into the environment? If the market is depressed and people are staying closer to home, can we make home more enjoyable and establish a peaceful environment? We’ve already answered the question, and it’s a resounding YES! This wonderful and amazing passage in the Amplified Bible found at Proverbs 4:7 tells us, “The beginning of wisdom is: get wisdom skillful and godly wisdom!

For skillful and godly wisdom is the principal thing. And with all you have gotten, get understanding discernment, comprehension, and interpretation.” This doesn’t direct us to look at the economy. Neither does it say ‘get peace.’

It admonishes us to ‘get wisdom’, and more specifically ‘skillful and godly wisdom.’

In thinking on this, what space in the home, other than the family and eating areas are most common to everyone? The answer is obviously the bath. And further, where is one place in the home that one can actually escape to unwind? The answer is a luxurious spa bath.

A bath upgrade gives you an opportunity to incorporate many features into the bathroom that will make life more comfortable, safe and eco-friendly for a long time.

Home living is more enjoyable with one and with it a peaceful environment can be established. Everyone can have a turn in it after a plan is accepted so that no one person can monopolize the space. This is an area to be discussed in the family meeting that we talked about in a former issue. Get skillfully godly wisdom the Lord says.

To be sure the long and short of this investment carries a higher resale value once the family is ready to move and the home is ready for market.

Don’t be so myopic!

Many Christians today are so comfortable at using the Scriptures in traditional ways they miss or overlook how germane is the Scriptures to every area of our lives.

When God showed me how interior design is interwoven in Scripture, I couldn’t see why many others had not seen it before. Seemingly this has much to do with my calling; however, my desire is to share with you as much as possible so you too can benefit from the rewards of sort of thinking outside of the box.

Get wisdom, get godly and skill wisdom He says.

Humm. Relevant to the above statistics I see dual benefits of making home more comfortable for the family.

Along with comfort comes peace. And along with a spa upgrade there’s a higher resale value. There’s the wisdom.

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The answer is YES!

expanding an existing bath into a luxury spa upgrade working within your home’s blueprint.

You’re worth it. You’re precious. You’re fearfully and wonderfully made. And so is your family. So why not indulge yourselves at home with an antidote for life’s anxieties by simply turning your bathroom into a home spa where you can release and relieve the stress of daily life.

A luxury environment? Yes. It is affordable, it is functional, it is your own personal getaway, and it is a good investment. Considering that you will recover most of your money when you sell your home, experts say that spending money to realize your dream bathroom is actually a sound investment. According to Remodeling Magazine's 2009 Cost vs. Value Report, you can have a bathroom you love and also expect a seventy percent return on your investment, which is the national average return rate.

Your home should be a place where stress is unwelcome and intolerant. I’ll share some suggestions for

Home spa retreat 101

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1

Choose the bathing experience you enjoy the most, be it a whirlpool tub, airbath, soaking tub, tub-shower or a multi-jet shower. Add in-floor heating. Look for heating mats—like those from Jacuzzi. com ranging from four to ten feet—that can be discreetly sandwiched under the floor’s surface and installed on those zones you would like warmed, such as in front of the tub, shower or sink. Include beautiful stone double sink countertops.

2

Use large matching ceramic tiles on the floor, laid on the diagonal with ceramic tile base molding.

If you like hardwood flooring, a nice compromise particularly in this space is laminate wood, which won't absorb nearly as much water.

3

Transform your everyday shower into one that literally takes you away from it all having such amenities as an adjustable rainhead, multiple body sprays, a separate personal hand shower as well as a mirror and shelf. Shower Towers come preassembled and easily retrofit an existing shower system requiring minimal plumbing.

4

To let off steam at the end of a long, stressful day, convert your shower into a custom steam bath where you can sit down, relax and unwind. You just install a seat and cover it with tile or surface material that match the rest of the shower. Integrate ceramic tile walls with an accent strip, recessed shower caddy, body spray fixtures, and frameless glass enclosure.

5

For a truly pampering indulgence, consider adding a home spa towel warming drawer to a new or existing cabinet. In only a matter of minutes, you can enjoy toasty warm towels, extending the feeling of relaxation and luxury after a bath or shower. Cabine-

try shall include a custom drawer base and wall cabinets for a built-in look.

6 7 8 9

Incorporate a variety of textures like stone, exotic woods, tumbled marble and limestone of varying textures and finishes.

Increase the green with the inclusion of plants, both large and small, spread throughout the space.

Delight your sense of smell with sweet smelling products and aromatherapy. Treat your toes to plush texture by investing in a luxurious rug for your bathroom.

Add a compartmentalized commode area with a one-piece toilet and a humidistat-controlled exhaust fan.

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10

Finally, for the ultimate in relaxation, no at home spa is complete without a plasma or flat screen TV. If you don’t have space to mount it on the wall, purchase a frame elevation system that at the push of a button smoothly raises the TV from a cabinet to a comfortable viewing level.

our home, we can change what goes on inside. For that reason, relax, unwind, and enjoy your family and everyday indulgence in your home spa while meditating on your luxury environment and the returns it will generate.

Let this same attitude and purpose and humble mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus.

And please, don’t forget lighting!

Combine general lighting and spot lighting including a waterproof shower fixture.

You’ll want to look for softer lighting and tons of natural light (think skylights), if possible. A good lighting plan will help you contour and compliment your spa bath.

Indulge with true luxury linens. If you want to go one step further than looking for large, fluffy towels, consider an oversized bath sheet. It is a more luxurious size and you'll really be able to wrap yourself in it.

Spa etiquette Seeing as different family members have different needs, plan storage where needed mostly. A neat, organized, soft design scheme is soothing for bathing, grooming and pampering. Always remember to prepare for others who will us the spa after you.

The key element here is that this space, as well as every area of the home, must reflect the spirit and personality of the family. And, too, don’t focus totally on the outward aesthetics of the space, but more importantly the inner spaces of the heart. With family staying closer to home, time spent together should be of quality. Remember, God designed Adam and Eve’s home in the Garden, and it was there He walked and talked with them in the cool of the day.

And He has said that He gives us richly all things to enjoy. Because we cannot change what goes on outside of

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Prayer Father your promises are yes and amen. We say a resounding yes to Your will and ways as we seek visual and spiritual harmony in our home in pursuit of peace and comfort with our family.

How High Is Your Pain Tolerance when it comes to stress?

Michelle Bersell

Did you ever play those games when you were a kid to see how far you could bend back your fingers without giving up in pain? How about allowing a relative or friend to keep hitting you harder and harder to see how long you could take it without giving up? In both of these cases, the more pain you could tolerate, the stronger you were viewed. We all tried this at one point or another so that we wouldn’t feel or be called a wimp.

These silly games we play as a kid imprints a lasting message in our psyche. The message is we are somehow better if we are tough and learn to “suck up” the pain or discomfort that we are feeling.

This message has been reiterated by adults as well because of the belief that we need to be able tolerate pain because life is not always fair.

The unfortunate outcome is that most of us have learned how to tolerate our pain too well. We suffer with our careers, our relationships and our sense of self due to our great tolerance of pain. We have learned loud and clear that we are better off sucking it up. We pull ourselves up by the boot straps and try to move forward all the while ignoring the pain the best we can.

What we don’t think about is how this will impact us in the long-term because we have been trained not to. There is this pain reliever/aspirin commercial that demonstrates this so well. The storyline is that this man suffers from pains that hold him back from accomplishing what he wants. Presto -- when he takes his pain reliever, we see him strong, being able to climb any mountain and accomplish his dream. The message is that here is an easy way to cover up our pain that allows us to achieve all that we desire. What I am thinking is this poor guy - he

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thinks he is being so strong by pushing himself past his limits and he is going to wake up to some major pain possibly even hurting himself physically to the point where it is beyond repair. This commercial reiterates what we have all been taught to believe which is if we toughen up and cover up our pain, we will then be able to get what we want. This may work for the short-term but in the long run we hurt ourselves even more.

I have to share how much this saddens me that we hurt ourselves even more. We hurt ourselves in the long run because by ignoring our pain there is another part deep down within us that believes in the message of the pain rather than hearing the truth that our emotions want to share with us. We do our part to put our best selves forward each day all the while ignoring the hurt we feel. Why? Because that is what we have been taught to do. What it actually does is keep people stuck and that is the sad part because it doesn’t have to be that way.

There are few people who are born without having the sensitivity to pain in their bodies. Their inability to feel the pain puts them in great danger and they end up getting hurt often. Others have to keep a close watch on them because they do not register the signals that tell them what is taxing or hurting them.

I believe our society as a whole is suffering because we have tampered with the amazing gift of our emotional sensitivity. Rather than picking up on the emotional signals that tell us when something is not good, we tolerate what isn’t good for us. Worse yet is how we tell ourselves to get over it, move on, think positively or be the better person and rise above it. The reality is that we are just telling ourselves that we are not sick of these circumstances enough to

make a change. In other words, we are telling our pain to bring on some more because we can and will take more pain.

Once we have reached the point where we are so tired of the pain and so exhausted from fighting, only then will change occur.

The gift is that our pain doesn’t have to reach that point in order for us to take action. So what is it going to be for you -- a high pain tolerance or a low pain tolerance?

My hope is that you will join me in having a low pain tolerance. With a low pain tolerance you will recognize your sadness, anger or frustration more often. The difference is that you will see this as a gift that will help you to live your life even better.

Trust me, it is not the emotions that are so painful rather it is the truth that we are trying to deny. But remember the truth will always set us free. Doesn’t living freely sound better than living chained to the pain?

For more information on Michelle or to take her quiz “Are You Surviving Life or Truly Living?”please visit www.MichelleBersell.com.

THERE IS ALWAYS A CHOICE Kimberly A. Sanders

“Please… don’t take it personal…” That’s what they said as he pulled the carpet from up under my footing and pushed the letterhead in front of me that read “Notice of Layoff” in its title. My stomach dropped… My heart sped… My body filled with overwhelming emotions… My head with all my thoughts of... What...? Why...? How...? When...?

It was the equivalent of someone deliberately poking a stick into the spokes of my mountain bike..

Mid-ride. I flew over the handlebars and landed flat on my face. I was hurting. It was there, in that moment, that I realized I had a choice. I could let this take me into a downward spiral of emotions, second-guessing myself.. Or... I could pull myself up, get to my feet, dust the rocks and dirt off, grab my pride and move forward. And I did. I chose me.

As everyone watched; just as calm as I had walked into that office, I walked out over to my desk, gathered my family photos and walked out of the building where I had spent over 40 hours a week for the past 3 years. My journey had just begun. “Here we go Lord…

Jesus please help me!”

The Lord has blessed me with a huge support system. I must have received 40 phone calls, emails and texts of those concerned about my well-being. One of my girlfriends called me to say, “Congratulations Honey…You’re free!” My dad said; “…well, I’m just so excited to see what God’s got in store for you now….

Kim, it’s going to be beyond what you can imagine.”

Their perspectives were refreshing, enlightening and motivating; however, I was not there yet. What was I going to do? God’s timing is impeccable; because this came at a time where I was in the final push to finish my graduate degree And I was able to throw all of my time and energy into finishing my thesis.

Listen… I won’t claim that my transition was an easy one. Everyday that I woke up; was not a gloriously motivated morning. There were some really bad wake-ups. I had days that I forgot I didn’t have to go to the office… and I would sit on the edge of my bed half-dressed and just cry. Then I would remember…

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I had a choice. It was those days that I would have to make a decision to physically do something... An action that would yank me out of depression. Some days I would go for my three-mile walk. Other days I would find a church having Daily Mass and attend. If I missed the service, I would sit in the empty church until my anxiety was gone. A couple mornings I would

make myself breakfast and sit at the dining room table in silence. I would take these quiet moments and speak to God. I would pray for peace of mind, for a proper perspective, for something … for anything! And I was always comforted! The jittery stomach and elevated fear level was always made quiet.

I realized it was because of my attempts to take that one-step away from the dark place; that the Lord would take three steps my way, bringing his light of hope in my direction.

There were reminders that often upset me…

Someone innocently asking “Are you off work today?”

“Are you on your lunch-break”. This idea of making a choice was not a one-time thing; this was a day-to-day and sometimes moment-to-moment choice of picking one feeling versus another. A decision that my glass would remain one that was half-full versus half-empty until it became one that was overflowing. I made my mind up that I did not lose my job; my job loss me!

The company sent a check with my vacation pay included. I looked at the money and smiled to myself, I was going to use it for just that. I vacated! I racked up over 20,000 frequent flyer miles… Shanghai, People’s Republic of China. Trinidad & Tobago.

Las Vegas, Nevada. And more… It was exactly what

I needed. I was able to get away with my thoughts and re-group. The Lord spoke to me, organized my thoughts and helped me to see a clearer vision of my options. Through all this, I learned that it truly didn’t matter where I was, but if I embraced a quiet moment and was, open … The Lord spoke. In Shanghai, waiting in the subway for the No.2 Train, He spoke.

Walking the streets of the Asian town of Xinjiang, I listened. Sitting quietly digging my toes into the Caribbean sand of Maracas beach, He whispered. Facing my fear of water, standing in the middle of the ocean in Nylon pool off the cost of Tobago, He soothed me.

Sitting on a swing in the park of Columbia, South Carolina, He comforted me. I was able to hear the whispers of God speaking to my heart.

At 32 years old, I was given the opportunity to reboot, to drop back and punt, if you will. I was blessed with a chance to discover what it is I really wanted to do and pursue it. With degrees, earned titles and military rank aside…I did not have to go where the path lead; as Ralph Waldo Emerson explained so eloquently. I could go instead where there was no path and perhaps, leave a trail…

Thank you, Jesus, for this revelation!

God gave me the WHAT. I started my own design firm. I am taking all that I was taught, and all the talents and skills that I have been blessed with, and using it all to help others. I have taken my engineering degree, applied my architectural degree, engaged my leadership abilities and made them work in this process. God gave me the WHO. I plan to collaborate with churches, military support groups and recovery/ rehab organizations to provide a newly made-over environment to aid in individual’s re-entry into society.

Whether it be making a home handicap accessible for an injured soldier returning from the desert – or – Going into someone’s home who has decided to become clean and sober; and giving them a new space to aid in their courageous journey. God gave me the WHEN.

Now. While I am networking and working on getting clients (the HOW), I have began volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, an organization who is certainly in the giving back business. I feel I have discovered a portion of my purpose; the reason I am living in this space and during this time… and that to me is priceless!

This experience is not only a teacher. It is forming who I am becoming, and the things I hold to be true by living through tests and trials. I now know the Holy Spirit as a true comforter…when called. He calms my anxiousness, helps me sit peacefully in the midst of stormy winds.

I know Jesus as my friend; walking with me along this journey. He is always willing to help… If I would only ask. He has sat with me through the ugliest of cries, and there when the stress gets to be too much.

He certainly does not have to; but he does. He chooses me… Every time!

I know God as a perfect father; the true driver of my journey. I am simply a passenger. What may appear to me as “reckless driving”, is, in fact, the creator at work. He knows what He is doing. He knows where He is going. He knows the path. He does not need my opinion. He knows what to do to get me to my destination…safely and purposefully. I just need to sit, be patient and trust Him. When the path seems frightful, all I need to do is turn my head from the road, fix my eyes on Him and know that I have no thing to worry about… For there is none greater than He (gye nyame) and He is in control.

It has been a year since I was told not to take it personal. And I now realize that that is actually, what I needed to be doing… making it personal. Making my decisions and choices personal ones; is what would ultimately make them effective ones. My journey has just begun. But, I now know it is not about how fast I can get to the finish line of success. I know that this path of mine is more about who I was able to touch and whom I was able to help on my way. Indeed, it is about whether those individuals I leave in my trail were better off, because I passed by. And ultimately, whether the Father is pleased with the choices I have made in my life. Will he utter “Well done”, when my time on this earth is done? I surely pray that He will.

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empowerment living for everyday

Don’t Block theFlow!

EASTON’S

Bible Dictionary states “according to the Bible, the heart is the centre not only of Spiritual activity, but of all the operations of human life” 1st Samuel 16:7 (MSG) says “But God told Samuel, “Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judge’s persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.”

In this above passage, God is speaking to Samuel regarding the anointing of the next king. As Jesse presents his seven son’s, none were chosen. They were all healthy & good - looking. I am sure they seemed to ‘look‘ the part; yet was this a requirement to be chosen

by God? Certainly not!

As we know, David was chosen. The one who was un-noticed by man, was seen by God. To know this, gets me excited! Aren’t you glad that your destiny is not determined by the decisions of man? Every assignment that God has for you is for you! Just as He eliminated the seven son’s of Jesse, so has He eliminated folk out of your way. Your blessing and your destiny has your name on it!

Interestingly, David became known as “The man after God’s heart”, but it was David’s heart that God saw.

Jeremiah 17:9-10 says “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? 10.

I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.”

1 Corinthians 11: 23-30 as Jesus is speaking about the breaking of bread and drinking of the cup, he said to do this in remembrance of me. The benefits of daily communion is powerful BUT in verse 28 Paul says “But let a man examine himself” If God was to examine our hearts, what would he find? Would the Holy Spirit be able to flow or would his movement be blocked by arteries clogged with bitterness, envy or deceit? Before we can properly discern the Lord, we have to properly examine ourselves. As you examine yourself; can you say that you are after God’s heart?

what makes david “a man after God’s heart?”

let’s examine.

David knew how to praise!

Psalms 9:1-2 David says “I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders.

[2] I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O. Most High.”

Despite trials and tribulations, David put his trust in God. Psalms 4:8 “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

Psalms 9:10 “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

Psalms 31:14 “But I trust you, O Lord. “I say you are my God.”

David worshipped God for who He is.

Psalm 23:1 “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want” Psalm 27:1 “The Lord is my Light & my Salvation, whom shall I fear. The Lord is the Stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid” Psalm 91:2 “I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge & my Fortress, my God in whom I trust.”

David had a sincere and genuine repentance.

Psalm 51:1-2 “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

[2] Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.”

Psalm 66:18 “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; [19]. But God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.

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David reverently feared God. Psalms 5:7 “But I, by your great mercy, will come into your house; in reverence will I bow down toward your holy temple.”

Psalms 25:12 “Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord?

He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.”

Psalms 67:7 “God will bless us and all the ends of the earth will fear him” David desired & sought God’s presence.

Psalms 27:4 “One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”

David loved to pray.

Psalms 116:1-2 “I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.”

[2] Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”

As we examine our hearts, do we have the attributes of David? It is no coincidence that these are also the attributes of Jesus Christ. As image bearers of Jesus Christ in this earth God is the “Light” that shines within our hearts to bring forth His Glory. As Christians we are to keep the Light constantly glowing. It is a progressive journey as God takes us from glory to glory. There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. Therefore if in our humanity we miss the mark, David leaves us words of encouragement in Psalms 19:12-14(AMP) [12] “Who can discern his lapses and errors? Clear me from hidden [and unconscious] faults.

[13] Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then shall I be blameless, and I shall be innocent and clear of great transgression.

[14] Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my [firm, impenetrable] Rock and my Redeemer.

And finally, David was obedient.

Acts 13:22 “And when He had deposed him, He raised up David to be their king; of him He bore witness and said, I have found David son of Jesse a man after My own heart, who will do all My will and carry out My program fully.”

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Unless noted, all scripture taken from NIV The Holy Bible - New International Version.

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Beautifully and

Wonderfully Made Interview with Sonja Samuel

Tiffany: Tell us, Who is Sonja Samuel?

Sonja: Wow! That is a big question. I am one of

those people with about 9 lives. I was born and raised in Dallas, TX. Not transplanted, a Texas girl, a Dallas Girl of course. I started my career in accounting believe it or not and moved my career from accounting to consulting, which led me into human resources and along the way always worked in ministry, grew up in ministry, volunteered in ministry. But along the way feeling this tug in my heart to do a little bit more and seeking the Lord with exactly what is it that he wants me to do and eventually figured out; okay you want me to work for you. So that is how I got into ministry and that has led to a lot of different things. Including writing my book, traveling, missionary, having a dance team using that for outreach within prisons, turning it into an international Christian Dance team, going around the World. That brings me to what I do now, traveling the world empowering people to make a divine difference and impact their lives, which I do in a lot of different ways.

Tiffany: Because you do wear several hats, how

do you achieve balance between your different responsibilities?

Sonja: Well I believe that life happens in seasons

and I have always believed that. What is interesting is that my life is not any different that it ever was. When I was in high school my father would ask me why do I have a change of clothes in my car? I was a cheerleader in high school and also took music lessons. I have always done a lot of different things, but in seasons.

Almost like sports, when I was a cheerleader in high school at one point you had football season and that required certain activities and then you had basketball season. So I run my life the same way. There are seasons there are times when I am doing prison ministry and outreach. Now I am the director of a children’s outreach ministry, bible engagement for adults and there are times when I am on the road traveling, but then I

slow that down, so it is all about seasons. I do it in seasons. I do not try to do everything at one time, I do it in seasons. Then I understand for me how to plan my schedule. Which means I put in mini-vacations and that is how I manage my stress. You know if I am speaking in the Caribbean then why just go there just to do the work, why not go 3-4 days ahead or stay 3-4 days after.

I make sure I get my quiet time every morning with the Lord, which shapes my day as well. You have to know what season you are in and then you have to know you.

You have to know what works for you and mini vacations work for me along with having quiet time on a regular basis.

Tiffany: You describe yourself as a life empow-

erment strategist. Can you explain a little more about what a life strategist does?

Sonja: Empowerment is about taking responsibil-

ity and authority…with the emphasis on ‘authority.’

There is often no accountability or ownership to what a person does or doesn’t do because they have not been given or they have not taken authority for what they are seeking to achieve. They often don’t understand that they have the power to choose and decide for themselves what is best. For whatever reason, most people don’t take initiative; they wait for someone else to give them direction or make decisions for them and thus, often in the end no one is satisfied with the results.

Therefore, through one-on-one coaching, counseling and life empowerment seminars, I seek to ‘empower’ people to impact their world, fulfill their destiny and make a divine difference! In other words, I work with them in building confidence, self esteem, effective communication, self management (or whatever is needed) so that they are able to take authority and are able to make the decisions that matters the most for them to accomplish their desired objectives.

Tiffany: You are the founder of New Life Abun-

dant Enterprises. Share with us the vision/mission behind New Life Abundant Enterprises. What are your

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plans for New Life Abundant Enterprises the remaining 2010 year and beyond.

Sonja: New Life comes from the bible when Jesus

tells the disciples to go spread the message of this new life. The abundant part comes from John 10:10 that says, I have come to give you life more abundantly.

Both of those scriptures really spoke to me and spoke to my heart. When I was in my early 20’s, I got married.

I had the same dream as every little girl, who wanted to marry their Prince Charming and have the white picket fence, with 2.2 children, but my story did not quiet go like that to my dismay. It really took me down a road of having to say okay, this is not exactly what you planned but does this mean your life is over? It took me awhile to work through that, but when I did that is when that scripture appeared. Go and tell these people about new life and the Lord healed my heart, restored me back to the path of joy, excitement and looking for my purpose in life. Being that person that’s busy and trying to conquer the world, He restored me back to that. I lost it going through that whole drama and trauma, that dream that turned into a nightmare and all of that stuff from my marriage not working out. So when he restored that for me it was like, yes Lord you did come to give me an abundant life and I still want to live out that life and tell other people as well. Again through all this transition I am feeling the call of the Lord on my life, so it was like go and tell the message. That is what new life is about, go and tell the message of this new life. New from the stand point of vivacious, a life that you may not have known, maybe that you did not plan, or maybe it is not what you thought it would be, but if it lines up with a purpose and the destiny that the Lord has for you, then we have to let go of our preconceived notions and move forward

because he wants to give us an abundant a fulfilling life. That then is what I impart to young people. New Life Abundant Enterprises includes my dance ministry, I go all over the World imparting it to young adults, using dance to do it. It includes my speaking engagements, and now my writing. We are continuing, we are expanding, and we are taking it to the next level. Continuing is I have the opportunity to go back to South Africa, where I helped them establish their out reach dance ministry, possibly (5) years ago and I went there twice within a 5 year period and now they have exploded. The director just got back from Scotland himself, they are now doing a city wide worshipping arts using dance ministry for which they invited me back for.

They felt they needed the person who imparted to them and set them on fire as they try to set the city on fire. So I am going back there which is always a joy for people to want you back; which means you have done something right for them, so that is exciting, because now I am not going to only impact one church or one set of people but it is a city wide effort, so I am excited about all the various people that will be involved in that. For 2010 I am going to take my original book which I came out with last year, 52 Affirmations, I am inviting other writers which have shared their interest saying that this book really spoke to them, it spoke to me today, it applies to my situation, or I really need to work on this one. So from that I am telling people to write their story, take that affirmation and tell me how it has worked for you, tell me the story as how it relates to you and the story behind it. It is like the book Chicken Soup For the Soul, the book of stories, people’s personal heart strings, desires and that’s what is going to happen as well. I am going to release volume II of affirmations as well as 52 Affirmations for boosting self-esteem, so I am excited about that. We are going to return back to Spain which we have been doing for the past 4 years.

Tiffany: Can you share a little bit about your book,

When I accepted me? What was your motivation for writing it?

Sonja: “When I Accepted Me” is a collection of

personal affirmations to help build, boost and maintain good self-esteem. To empower people in building their self confidence, self respect and self acceptance. I think to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to mold you into something else is a great accomplishment. However, many people have difficulty being who they are; mostly because they don’t accept who they are. Self esteem is about how you see, feel and accept yourself not how others see, feel and accept you so therein lays the struggle. With the trials and tribulations of life, it is easy to see how we can get caught in the struggle. Life happens to us all that shakes our confidence and self regard and self respect so I wrote the book to help work through that struggle. The affirmations are what helped me and it was my desire they would help others, as well.

Tiffany: When did you realize you had to accept

yourself?

Sonja: Going back, I mentioned that I have always

been a girl that has been very busy, very active in the community, doing a lot of different things at one time.

For the most part it is a lesson that I learned earlier that has really been driven home for me, when I tried out for Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. When I walked into that audition and at about that time they had approximately two thousand girls coming to try out on a Saturday morning and it did not take me long to realize as I looked around everyone is preparing, working on their dance moves; I looked around and said you know what I cannot compete with anybody in here, because very few in here looks like me, I cannot look at blonde hair and blue eyes, I have to look in the mirror and say okay Sonja if this is something you are going after, if this is something that you want, you have to compete with you. So I learned a lesson then, not to compare, but compete, compete with me to do my best. Well of course that is four years later, I go through a very difficult marriage, separation, and divorce that made me question who I was because how could I make such

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a crazy decision, how could I fall for someone who turned out not to be the right person for me. I was a smart girl, I considered myself to be somewhat discerning between good and bad and so it really just kind of did a number on my thinking and made me question everything about what I believed. Of course when you go through something like that, you start saying what’s wrong with me and I figured out that nothing is wrong with me. We all make mistakes , life happens and so you have to decide , either I am going to whine and I am going to complain, and stay depressed or I am going to get about the business of living with part of that being accepting the good and the bad. Accept your strengths and your weaknesses. I had to say with Sonja, okay what did you miss here? Was it something that was a red flag and you disregarded and if so why did you disregard it. So what was it that made you keep going or what made you look over that? As you go forward with your life, how can you make a better decision and then it helps me as I ask myself those questions, I got to know me, what do I like, what do I dislike, how much of my decision may have been influenced by other people and how much was influenced by what I wanted in the decisions I made. Going through that whole process it really bought me to the point of you know what, I have got to accept who I am. Self-esteem is about how I see me and how I feel about myself, not about how other people see me or how other people feel about me.

There is a statistic that says 2 out of 3 women suffer from low self-esteem, that’s a lot, that means only every 3rd person has good self-esteem.

Tiffany: What do you think is one of the biggest

hurdles in self acceptance?

Sonja: Do not compare but compete. Compete with

yourself everyday, can I be better? Can I do better?

How can I help? How can I be more of a help? A better servant? A better mother? A better employee? Was it something yesterday I was doing really good, but then I got a phone call and it just really brushed me the wrong way, so today, how can I be ready and prepared.? Com-

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pete with yourself to be all that God wants you to be, not competing with your friend or the girl down the street.

Tiffany: What nuggets of wisdom would you share

with kingdom women who are embracing their own Unique shape.

Sonja: I have come up with what I call my accept

principles: They are making an impact, and I say I came up with these principles, actually the Lord downloaded it to me and I am learning that even though he gives me things that I share with other people, he is so faithful because it is always what I need. So over the last year and a half, these principles have really blessed me. If you take the word ACCEPT from the book, when I accepted me.

A – Learn to accept your strengths and weaknesses. As humans we are a work in progress. Everyone has an up side to who they are and a down side. It is our down side that continues to remind us of our humanity and keeps us seeking to be better and do better. Often our weaknesses are just unguarded strengths that we must continue to manage them if it is something we can’t change but our weaknesses DO NOT make us a bad person.

C – Concentrate on the positives. It is real easy to focus on the negative and our world is full of them.

However, to focus on the positives it starts with making a choice to do so. From there you make a commitment to release any and all negativity; negative thoughts, negative emotions and negative relations. The Bible says ‘think on these things ...whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, and whatever is of good report.’

C – Connect to your passion and you’ll connect to your purpose. Find the things in life that you are really passionate about and involve yourself in them. That will do more to help you have the confidence that you need to succeed and win over any adversity life presents. Also you will notice how much happier your life will be because of it.

E

– Eliminate the negatives …negative thoughts, negative emotions, negative relationships! Whatever is NOT serving a positive purpose in your life get away from it or minimize its exposure in your life or use it to get to the other side …the positive side. Negativity is often founded in untruths. Most positives things are founded in truth. We should think, live, and act on the side of truth …to be exact …God’s truth. That will always bring positive results into our lives.

P – Persevere. It has been said when the going gets tough the tough gets going. In this life we will have trouble, as the Bible tells us so we must hold fast to the faithfulness of God and His promises to never leave us alone. When tough times now come my way, I often affirm and encourage myself with the scripture that says ‘this too shall pass.’

T – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your understanding. We may not see the hand of God at work but we must trust that He is at work on our behalf. That is called the providence of God.

Tiffany: If the ACCEPT Principles helps us build

high self esteem what helps us maintain it?

Here are seven simple steps that we all can do every day. Building or rebuilding self esteem is the most difficult. Maintaining high self esteem is a lot easier if we implement these steps.

1. Smile often to yourself and to others. Greet others when you see them and ask how they are and how their day is going. This helps build positive relationships with others.

2. Eliminate the negative. When a negative thought enters your mind, stop and immediately counter it with a positive thought about the same subject.

3. Be nice to others and be nice to yourself. Conversely, don’t degrade others and don’t degrade yourself.

4. Face your fears and forget your failures (after learning from them). Focus on your achievements and successes. Reward yourself when you succeed.

5. Quit thinking about trying to be perfect. No one is, so just accept that as it is. Don’t be too competitive and

don’t compare yourself with others.

6. Don’t worry about what others think of you. Just be the best you that you can be.

7. Hang out with positive and optimistic people who also have high self esteem and self confidence. But when you are around negative people, try to direct your positive and optimistic thoughts in their direction. Don’t let them pull down your level of self confidence or self esteem.

Tiffany:

Please provide us with your upcoming events and contact information.

Sonja: You can view any upcoming events, contact me, order the book, “When I Accepted Me” by visiting the website, www.sonjasamuel.com.

Tiffany:

Share your encouragement for those women still in their battle enabling them to get to the Victory in 2010.

Sonja: I want to share something with you that the

Lord laid on my heart, it has become a light unto my path. 10, I believe is the number for Divine Order. (9) is the last single digit number; so (9) brings an end and that is why I think yes it is very prophetic that a lot of things came to an end or a lot of issues people dealt with and I think that was ‘training for reigning” that the Lord was preparing . Some people may feel like well I haven’t got there yet; well 2010 is not over and maybe you have to look and say okay, the Lord has been trying to shake some things; He has been trying to shift some things, but because it surprised me, because it took me in a different direction something I was not expecting, well then maybe I am still holding up my progress. I believe for 2010 the Lord does want to bring divine order into our lives meaning, line up with your purpose and your calling. If you are not in the process now of fulfilling your destiny, get in position, so that you can start to do that. We know that from the economy things have been flipped upside down and that is a good thing to me. Everyone is looking at it as a bad thing, but I

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think that is what the Lord does he, shakes us and sifts us. Now here is a concept that he shared with me at the end of the year; going through the Mary story with the birth of Jesus, what happened with Mary? An Angel told her what was going on, then she acknowledged what the Angel said. It was crazy, she was 14 years old , how can this be? But she acknowledged what He (God said) we need acknowledge that the Lord may be shifting he may be changing, he is turning things upside down, I do not understand it, I may or may not agree with it, it is causing me some issues, but acknowledge, that guess what, He is trying to get your attention and then accept it. Say Lord okay, I do not know what is going on here, but I do know that you have a plan and purpose for me, so therefore I am going to accept, that this just may be you. It’s crazy, I been fighting it, but I am just going to let it go and I am going to go with it and see where this is going to take me. I am going to see what changes I can make, I am going to seek you. Part of seeking God is going to look for confirmation. Mary went straight to her cousin Elizabeth. We need to listen for confirmation, go share with people what is going on, get with trusted counsel, people that you know, recently I wrote on my Facebook page, find someone who is doing what you want to do and then follow there example, following what they are doing and then the last thing she did was she started to celebrate. After there has been confirmation, even though you cannot see it, she was still pregnant, Jesus did not come until several months later, but she started praising and celebrating, there had been confirmation, she accepted the word the Angel gave, it sounded crazy but she acknowledged it and of course you know in the end there was Jesus Christ who came to save us and give us eternal life, that would be my encouragement for 2010.

Tidbits:

I am excited about being a part of the magazine, it is an awesome opportunity to be a light an encouragement. I am really humbled and definitely blessed by it.

I can see the Lord’s hand and his faithfulness to me. It had to be 20 years ago that as part of my purpose trying

to get back to purpose and destiny feeling like, Lord you want me to be a beacon of light and an inspiration of hope, but at that time I was hurting myself and just said I do not understand this but you know a lot of times , my old pastor use to say, The Lord can’t really use you most effectively until you have been hurt deeply, I understand that now and he is so true. I do not want to listen to someone who hasn’t been through the fire trying to tell me about going through it, getting to the other side, because when you go through it, then all of a sudden you know, you may go oh oh know this is not working; so tell me from someone who has been there.

Lord knows I have been there and He has bought me on the other side of victory. I am happy to share what I can.

www.liveinvictory.org

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6 Dating

Rules to Lose!

D

ating today is far more than just having casual fun for a couple of hours with someone you have an initial connection with. These days, dating is an interview process to determine whether the person is a good fit into your personal world.

Most of us used to abide by cumbersome “rules” such as, women shouldn’t make the first phone call to a guy, or don’t order the most expensive meal on the menu, only order soup and salad so he won’t see that you are a real person with an appetite.

Remember there were certain questions a guy shouldn’t ask? For example, a man shouldn’t ask her age, or never kiss him on the first date (maybe on the cheek) but not more than that. Well, I’m here to tell you to forget about the “old rules” of the game! Step into 2010 with some confidence and play by your own rules when participating in the “dating game”.

Rules…sm-uules! It pays to date your way!

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#1

Rule to Lose- Do away with the “wait 3 days to call” rule. Who cares? No one does! If you’ve exchanged phone numbers the whole point is to call. There obviously is an interest between the two of you so why not get a jump start with exploring your connection.

#2

Rule to Lose- The guy should always pick up the tab. Women today are extremely successful, independent and financially capable of treating a guy out to breakfast, lunch or dinner. So why not do it? I say go for it! Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not in any way suggesting that a woman should be the primary “pay master” when spending time with a man. Chivalry is alive and well. The fact is, most decent

men wouldn’t allow it. However, it certainly makes for an attractive gesture when she offers to take him out for an evening. This demonstrates to a man that she understands that not only is the relationship about her but it’s all about him too. Men love this! It makes him want to give so much more.

#3

Rule to Lose- “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m busy this weekend” but, the truth is you’re not!

So if you’re not busy, and the guy wants to take you out, why not go? This rule is so ancient and misunderstood. Listen, if a guy wants to take you out and you tell him you’re busy, trust me it doesn’t make him want you more. It makes him feel more like you’re not that interested, therefore, he’s more likely to retreat instead of pursue. “Mr. Right” just disappeared on the other side of the dial tone.

#4

Rule to Lose- No kisses on the first date?

Who made up this rule? There’s no feeling like spending the evening with someone new conversing, laughing, sharing and connecting. By the end of the date you’re completely enamored with the person standing before you. There’s an electric energy between you and you want to give a heartfelt “thank you” for an amazing evening that is sealed with a kiss. A first kiss is a natural spontaneous moment where two people are paralyzed in a flash of time, embrace it.

so! A group date, in my opinion is the best avenue to take. Each of you can gather up a few good friends and all of you have some fun together. This totally takes the pressure off of both of you and allows you to casually get to know each other without any expectations. This is a great way to test and possibly mesh social circles.

#6

Rule to Lose- You should always dress to impress? Of course it’s natural for women to want to look their best when gracing a man with their beauty. However, just be you and dress to fit the occasion. Guys are simple and actually it’s obvious to him when you’re trying to impress him with your outfit or over-accessorized earrings, bangles and suitcase for a purse. Just be comfortable and exude a soft sexiness with a sweet perfume. I guarantee you he’ll be memorized by you for the entire evening.

Be Strong. Be Empowered.

Shelby M. Hill, MBA, CPC

Shelby M. Hill is a certified Relationship Coach committed to working with women to develop self awareness and attract healthier and happier relationships into their lives. For additional advice and general inquiries please visit www.shelbymhill.com.

#5

Rule to Lose- Only the two of you can hang out on the first date? I don’t think www.liveinvictory.org

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Proverbs 31: ’

insight into your husband s heart Jewell R. Powell

Many Christians are familiar with the woman portrayed in Proverbs 31. She is an amazing woman who seems to have it all together. She takes care of her home, her children, her husband, seemingly sleeps very little, yet does everything exceedingly well. Sermons and women’s Bible studies have been built upon the character described in this popular chapter of the Bible. While we may have a clear picture of what this chapter says about women, it is also possible to use it in order to glean a better understanding about the heart of a husband and the marriage relationship as a whole.

Proverbs 31:11-12 explains that the woman’s husband has “full confidence in her” and that she “brings him good, not harm.” It is safe to ascertain that the husband trusts her completely, because she 36

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has proven that her goal is to love him and build him up, not tear him down or pick him apart. It can be so easy for us, as women, to focus on our husbands’ short-comings and failures or, perhaps even worse, compare him with other men, which creates a dangerous breeding ground for marital problems.

To create unity and respect in the marriage, it makes sense to focus on the positive aspects of your husband and encourage him in what he does well. It’s a lot like the positive reinforcement described in parenting books: encourage and praise your husband for what he does right and he is more likely to continue to do well and find ways to do even better.

A marriage built on respect is much more fulfilling for each partner and gives husbands and wives the confidence to succeed inside and outside of the

home. Taking a look at Proverbs 31: 23, we recognize the significant impact the wife’s love has made on her husband’s career: “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.”

Later, in verse 31 it states the wife should receive the reward she has earned and also praise at the city gate—the same place where her husband receives respect as an elder. Perhaps this is saying much about how important the wife’s contributions are to what her husband does—so much so that she receives praise at his place of work.

The love and support a wife gives her husband cannot be underestimated. Even when the husband is an imperfect man, respect can build him up to be the best he can be. The status of this man’s career might have been different if he had not had the strong relationship with his wife and a stable, loving home life.

We are able to gain some insight into the man’s heart in verses 28-29 which state that he “praises” his wife and says she surpasses all women. He doesn’t just mention it in passing, he stands up and announces it! While this woman may seem perfect in her description, she is still human and is, therefore, imperfect, yet he is focusing on her positive qualities.

Why? Possibly because that is how she treats him. A man, who feels loved and respected and honored by his wife, is much more likely to have a deep appreciation for her within his heart. This man thinks his wife is the very best.

Even if this kind of relationship seems like a total contrast to you own, and the life of the Proverbs 31 woman seems like an unattainable goal, it is possible for you to experience the blessings this type of love and respect between husband and wife can bring.

Look to this chapter as you strive to build your relationship with your husband.

In the moment when you feel like complaining or pointing out your husbands’ flaws, make an effort to consider the benefits of praise and positive reinforcement, and remember the Proverbs 31 woman. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 states it so well: “Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up.”

© 2010 by Jewell R. Powell, The Marriage Coach and author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith.

For more information, visit her online at www.marriage101.us

Proverbs 31 10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her house hold; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. www.liveinvictory.org

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7

SPECIAL REPORT

Successful women Entrepreneurs speak.

On Beauty, Financial Wealth, Health, Life Balance, Nutrition, Small Business and Spirituality!

Challenges Women Face and the Solutions!

by Sylvia Browder As full time women entrepreneurs, the biggest challenges that we face is how to balance family, friends and business. We constantly make sacrifices to be able to fulfill our many responsibilities as wife, mother, maid and cook to name a few all while maintaining a household and managing a successful business.

It isn’t easy to constantly juggle, but many of us are finding ways to do it all!

Fortunately, 7 Successful Women Entrepreneurs reveal their industry tips and strategies to help YOU reduce stress and maintain harmony in key areas of YOUR life.

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Beauty and Part 1

finance

About Tracey

Tracey Brown, a San Francisco Bay Area beauty expert, residing in Oakland California is the Author of Blinging Beauty. Tracey, who is more than slightly obsessed with red lipstick and eye cream, has 25 years of experience in the beauty industry and has worn every hat from salon owner to beauty editor. Blinging Beauty is dedicated to all beauty product junkies; for the person who wants to know what is hot off the press from the leaders, insiders and the unknowns in the beauty industry.

On Beauty

As working women, we are constantly faced with the challenge of balancing work and life. Oft times we find ourselves throwing off “weights” that we deem as a burden in an effort to save time. We may indeed put an activity on the back burner that can be of professional and personal value. I often see this with women when it comes to their beauty routines. In an effort to spend a few more minutes in bed, with the children or to catch up on email, shortcuts are taken with skin care regimens, and makeup application goes by the wayside.

Why short change yourself with a step that can add value to your personal appearance and your professional reception?

I encourage my clients to apply the multi-tasking skills they have acquired as working mothers to their makeup and skin care routines. Just as you have perfected your “pitch” or professional introduction, you can also perfect your “5 minute face” and your three minute skin care routine. Worth it?

Yes it is. I have dozens of clients who have adopted this simplified plan that has led them to a perfected, polished professional appearance attest to it’s worth.

Skincare 101 – Three easy steps

Whether you use mass market skincare products or a prestige line, three steps can give you glowing skin that serves as the ideal canvas for your makeup application. morning:

1. Use a Ph balanced cleanser. This eliminates the need for toner.

Lotion cleansers work for all skins, whereas gel’s sometimes provide that “squeaky clean” feel for oily to acne skins.

2. Use a moisturizer with an SPF of at least 15. This is multitasking at its best as you are adding in the most basic antiaging step to your routine – sun protection. If you have other skincare concerns, look for the appropriate additions to your moisturizers.

A. Oily skin – Oil free B. Acne prone – Anti-bacterial like salicylic acid C. Hyper pigmentation – Vitamin c, retinol (vitamin a), or hydroquinone D. Wrinkles – Vitamin C, retinol (vitamin a), Co Q10, copper, peptides 3. Eye cream or gel 4. Apply a primer as prep for makeup application.

A word about primer: Primers are the ultimate multitaskers. They seal in your skin care products, so your moisturizer does not evaporate. They resurface your skin, so your texture is improved – pores made imperceptible and uneven texture eliminated. However, for your professional face, primer enables you to have makeup that endures the day, you need less foundation and it looks flawless.

Brands I recommend: Laura Geller Spackle Laura Mercier Smash box Light for Oilier complexions For women of color with nearly perfect skin, bypass foundation and used a tinted primer. Laura Geller and Smash box www.liveinvictory.org

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both have a bronze primer that is gorgeous on brown skin. at night :

1. Try a makeup novelette. (if your are lazy like me) I love Olay Definity makeup remover novelettes. They are large, durable and do an excellent job of removing all makeup including eye makeup. A pack of 30 is around $6. For added assistance with eye makeup removal, try Olay Eye Makeup remover.

It’s creamy, does not sting and multi-tasks by leaving behind peptides to firm up the eye area! Around $8 in drugstores.

2. Use a moisturizer that includes your treatment. See morning routine for appropriate additions.

3. Eye cream.

These steps take me two minutes max, but if you are just starting, they may take a minute longer. Your lengthiest step should be cleansing. If you have other skincare concerns, you may need to add in an additional step for treatment.

Makeup 101

Your first step is to streamline your daily makeup kit to only the necessities. Get rid of that blue glitter eyeliner and purple eye shadow. Only keep the necessities. Just as you have your professional wardrobe in your closet organized, you should also have your makeup wardrobe organized. Here are your steps to your “5 minute face”: 1. Even Apply foundation or tinted moisturizer over entire face, including under your eyes. This should only take a few seconds.

Start under the eyes and blend out toward the jaw. If you wear bangs, forget your forehead. The main area to cover is the triangle from your eyes, to cheeks to chin. That’s where people focus their eyes when looking at you. Do not extend foundation to the jaw; instead be sure your foundation disappears before it gets to your jaw line. No lines of demarcation!

Tinted moisturizers are ideal for skin over 35 that have lost its luster. The give back that dewy youthful look. They are my favorite triple-duty products – color, moisture, SPF and sometimes illuminators.

Brands that multi-task: Smash box High Definition Foundation – SPF and anti-agers Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer 2. Conceal Apply concealer to the inner most area of the eye – on the bridge of the nose. Pat to blend. Do not rub your concealer away. Choose a color your skin tone, not lighter. By applying concealer in the inner eye area, you are in effect creating an optical illusion – light will be attracted to that lightened area and 40

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focus will be removed from darker areas under the eye. Feather out under the eye. Use the remaining concealer on your finger, brush or sponge on your eyelid and the corner of your eye.

Brands that work: Black Radiance Make Up For Ever Full Cover (also works for blemishes and scars) Lorac Double Impact 3. Blush up Too many women, particularly women of color skip this step. Blush gives definition to your face, lifts, brightens your eyes and gives life to your complexion. Use a blush with a hint of shimmer (not glitter) that serves as light reflectors, giving your skin an amazing glow. Trust me on this one.

Colors that work for everyone: NARS – Lovejoy or Orgasm Laura Geller – Sun swept or Golden Apricot 4. Define Eyes Invest in a palette of brown/bronze colors for everyday use. Whether Revlon or Bobbi Brown, a palette of at least three colors – light, medium and dark – will become your favorite go to, like an indispensable black pencil skirt. A double ended brush with a fluff end and a blunt angled edge is your tool of choice.

A. Cover entire lid with medium color.

B. Apply highlight to brow bone.

C. Use darkest color as liner. For more dramatic liner, wet your color with Visine to make it a liquid liner.

D. Use either dark or medium color as brow color.

E. Apply mascara. Leave waterproof for weddings – it will kill your lashes.

My brand of choice: L’Oreal Voluminous. I LOVE this mascara. $7.99 at drugstores, but often on sale with a BOGO. When you have this routine down, you can venture out with other palettes – smokes, blues, greens.

5. Lips You need four items for your lips arsenal. Lip balm, nude lipstick, nude lip-gloss and a red or berry lipstick.

This makeup application may seem like too much to do, but it only takes minutes. My routine takes me 2-3 minutes. You can with practice perfect your “5 minute face”! If you would like to see a video of this application, or have further questions, please feel free to email me or visit my blog.

So don’t neglect your professional appearance. Trade time with television or internet surfing and give it to yourself. That added bit of polish may be just the step to take you to the next level in your career.

About Tamara

Tamara Haskins, CEO, Haskins Wealth Management Group, a full service wealth management firm which manages clients’ portfolios and provides comprehensive financial planning.

Her firm educate, motivate and empower their clients to build financial success. Their services include: retirement planning, estate planning, education planning, business succession planning, risk management, tax minimization strategies and tax preparation.

Register for Tamara’s February Teleconference: What type of legacy will you leave behind? Join us on Wed., Feb. 17th EST to learn how to build a legacy you can be proud of. Tamara will discuss 6 financial tips to help you jumpstart 2010.

On Finances Without financial health you will never be truly healthy or wealthy. Start 2010 off right by taking responsibility for your financial future. By following these 6 steps, you will be on your way to financial health and wealth:

3. Live within your means. Simply don’t buy things you can’t afford. African American’s spend 15 trillion per year and have on average less than $10,000 saved towards retirement.

4. Create a Budget. You need an emergency cash fund equivalent to 6 to 8 months of living expenses. If you’re always short at the end of the month cut back spending, if you’ve got extra, save it.

5. Purchase Life Insurance. Life insurance helps pay for the significant expenses associated with passing on, and covers debts such as mortgages and car notes not forgiven when you die.

6. Consider New Tax Laws. Several notable changes in the current tax laws could impact your financial health. First-time homebuyer credit increases up to $8,000 for homes purchased before December 1, 2009. There are also changes to long term capital gains and dividends, estates, Roth IRAs and College Tuition Tax Credits. Consult your tax preparer for more information.

1. Pay yourself first. Save 10%. Set up systematic withdrawals directly from your pay check in savings.

2. Pension Plans. Even if your company still offers one it won’t be enough to retire on. Your retirement income will be about 71% self funded from savings.

www.liveinvictory.org

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The Road to Living Healthier with Coach Collins

Life’s Balancing Act: Work-Family-Personal Life

T

rying to balance your work and family or personal life can be tough. That’s why a continual pursuit of a healthy lifestyle is vital to handling the demands and challenging of daily life. But what does a healthy lifestyle really mean? A healthy lifestyle includes, but is not limited to, eating a variety of healthy foods consistently, engaging in regular exercise, finding time to relax, and getting adequate sleep to give your body the time it needs to recover and rejuvenate. It means you must love yourself enough to develop your strategic plan to remove unhealthy habits and implement healthy ones.

Coach Collins, a renowned fitness consultant, offers her observations and insights into the plight to implement and sustain healthier lifestyle habits. An excerpt of a dialogue between Coach Collins and two of her clients, Natalie and Maya who are sisters, will help you relate to and understand those common struggles shared to live healthier.

“Hi Coach,” Natalie and Maya said, greeting Coach Collins as she entered the doors of their neighborhood Walmart.

“I told my sister I saw you in the parking lot,” Maya said, smiling. “We decided to wait and see for sure.”

“What a surprise. It’s good to see the both of you,” Coach Collins said, while embracing the sisters. “How’s everything going? How are your health and fitness goals progressing?”

Natalie started off talking about an extra project her boss had asked her to spearhead at work.

The project required her to travel and work longer hours.

“Coach, it’s been a struggle the past few weeks. I’ve been traveling quite a bit and life on the road has brought on some challenges. I’m unable to eat on schedule because I’m in and out of meetings from the

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time my day starts and ends. When the time does arrive to eat lunch and dinner, I have to eat with people who only want soul food which makes it harder for me to eat right,” Natalie sighed. “Plus, I can’t get in any exercise.”

“Tell her about the extra things you’ve committed to at church,” Maya said, anxiously.

Natalie nodded to acknowledge Maya’s interruption and continued. “My sister is not as active as I am in church,” she paused. “The president of our women’s ministry asked me to coordinate a job fair in April and our women’s conference in June.

Needless to say, I’m the one having to find the employers to attend the job fair and the speakers for our conference.

Because of the extra commitments and the new project at work, I have to stay up late until the wee hours to send and respond to emails. My goal of seven hours of sleep has gone out the window.”

“Sounds like you have quite a bit going on,” Coach Collins stated.

“I was doing really well when I spoke with you a couple of months ago, but now…”

“And the stress she was under at work had diminished also,” Maya said, proudly.

“Absolutely. I had a long over due discussion with my boss about conflicting job expectations, too much responsibility, and too many ‘hats to wear.’ And we were able to mitigate my concerns. Better organizational skills helped me to handle the demands of work and as a consequence my stress was under control. My mood and sleep disturbances, upset stomach and headaches had subsided,” Natalie admitted. “Then, things went crazy again.”

“During our initial meeting you and your sister conducted a self examination of the things preventing you from

living healthier. I remembered you stating that you had faced some uncomfortable truths about your lifestyle habits; habits you had come to rely on to get you through the day; habits that you knew over time would significantly impact your life,” Coach Collins recapped.

“You’re right, Coach. And I set some goals to address them…” Natalie acknowledged. “For a while I was achieving my goals.”

Maya quickly interrupted to defend her sister. “Coach, we’re working to get her back on track. Once her special project is over, as well as the job fair and women’s conference at church, she’ll have time to focus on her health and fitness, again.”

“Commitments, obligations, pursuits and unforeseen events will always be a continual part of our lives. Things will always be changing. You never know what’s going to crop up next. That’s life,” Coach Collins reiterated. “The first of the year I had both of you to address three important tasks related to living healthier: (1) conduct a selfexamination of those things that challenge you everyday, (2) develop a plan for how you’re going to align living healthier with your pursuits and challenges, and (3) implement your plan that will help to alleviate a continuum of poor lifestyle choices. It’s not a one-time exercise. Those tasks require continuous review and refining.”

Sounding frustration, Natalie responded, “Coach, I conducted the self-examination of the thoughts, feeling and actions I had allowed to distract me from loving myself enough to change unhealthy habits. I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to continue the path I was traveling. I recognized how the stress of it all was impacting my life. So, I addressed the things I identified without hesitation, and pursued and implemented resolutions for change. Then, I set my goals to exercise, reduce my daily intake of soda, increase my hours of sleep time, expand my intake of vegetables, and minimize the stress in my life. I was doing well with all of them, but...”

“I’m not saying you’re not going to ever have some setbacks. But, once things change and existing or new challenges invade your life, you should conduct a selfexamination and develop your strategy for navigating through the situation,” Coach Collins confirmed. “Now that you’re traveling, you need to set some new goals. For instance, if you’re unable to eat breakfast in the mornings; the inability to do so may require you to stock your hotel room with fresh fruit or packaged oatmeal that you can

prepare yourself. You may need to wake up a little earlier to workout in the hotel’s fitness center. If your hotel doesn’t have one – plan to take a fitness DVD on the road with you.”

“Coach, the one word my sister needs to activate is “No”, Maya shouted out. “Her primary problem is that she agrees to everything people ask her to do.”

“I can’t help it. I’d feel guilty if I say no,” Natalie responded quickly.

“Natalie it’s really okay to respectfully say no. When you quit doing the things you only do out of guilt, you'll make more room in your life for the activities that are essential to living healthier. You can only manage and balance so much. Between work, family, church, household tasks, and personal obligations you must include nurturing yourself and attending to your health and fitness requirements. The consequences of not doing so can be devastating.”

“Coach, I’ll go back to the table to rethink my priorities and re-evaluate my plan.”

“Great,” Coach Collins said, sounding pleased. She then directed her attention to Maya. “Maya looks like we’ve only addressed your sister’s challenges.”

“I’ve been doing really well. Especially since I’ve gotten my husband and kids to eat some of the healthier dishes I’ve been preparing like the Eggplant with Sweet Onions and Tomatoes and Baked Zucchini and Tomatoes.”

“Wonderful,” Coach Collins exclaimed. “Let’s set up an appointment to meet in my office. I want you all do a self-evaluation of your progress. The exercise will provide a clear picture of how well you have done thus far with achieving your specific goals. Mastering the art of living healthier is not an easy task when it comes to figuring out how you’re going to negotiate your way through the challenges, but, that’s where prayer and unyielding faith steps in.”

This health and fitness dialogue is provided for your consideration only. It is not intended to replace the medical advice of your doctor or health care provider. Please consult your health care provider for advice about your specific health and fitness needs.

• Fitness coach Bridgette Collins is the author of Destined to Live Healthier and Imagine Living Healthier . For general health and fitness questions, please feel free to visit www.BridgetteCollins.com or email Coach Collins at Bridgette@bridgettecollins.com. www.liveinvictory.org

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