May 18, 2012
Catholic San Francisco
HC1
HOLY CROSS CATHOLIC CEMETERY
An angel figure sits atop a crypt in one of the older sections of Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery in Colma.
Ministering to a ‘city’ of 326,000 – with as many more to come This Catholic San Francisco special section commemorates the 125th anniversary of Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery. As much as highlighting the history of Holy Cross, stories and pictures focus on the cemetery’s critical role in pastoral ministry. That role is foremost in mind for Monica Williams, archdiocesan cemeteries director, as she guides the “small city” of souls that is Holy Cross into its next 125 years. Here are excerpts from a Catholic San Francisco interview with Williams in April at her office in Colma. Question: What is the population of Holy Cross? Answer: Not considering the mass removal from Calvary, we are 326,000 and there would be another about 30,000 from Calvary. Calvary was the original Catholic cemetery in San Francisco and was in operation until the turn of the century. As the cemeteries were being closed in San Francisco, it was the last of the San Francisco cemeteries to be removed. The archdiocese fought for a long time to try to keep it intact but at the time San Francisco wanted to develop and Calvary sat right in the middle of where Lone Mountain is today. Beginning in 1887 there was a gradual transfer of people.
Cookbook and historic recipes Remembering the indigent Pictorial: Cemetery in spring (PHOTO BY RICK DELVECCHIO/CATHOLIC SAN FRANCISCO)
Question: How much room remains? What is the capacity in terms of population? Answer: Archbishop (Patrick J.) Riordan purchased 300 acres in 1886. That showed remarkable foresight. We currently occupy a little over half of that, and that’s 125 years of primarily casket burial. So, when you look at that and look at that people are being cremated in larger numbers, and cremation takes less space, the line I have been using all year is “acres of space and hundreds of years.” We have the entire property on the other side of Hillside (Boulevard); we have property on this side of Hillside we have not begun to develop. If at one time there had been a projection that the cemetery would live 200 or 300 years from its inception, I couldn’t even put a number on it at this point. If burial rates were to continue
INSIDE THIS SPECIAL SECTION:
The legacy of San Francisco Fire Chief Dennis Sullivan, who died in the 1906 earthquake, inspires Monica Williams, archdiocesan cemeteries director.
as they are right this moment, we would say another couple of hundred years. (We are) just incredibly blessed with an abundance of land.
Gravediggers’ ministry Question: What is the trend in terms of people choosing burial mode – cremation, casket, aboveground structure? How has that changed over the years? Answer: It has been traditionally determined by your family tradition. I’m Irish Catholic – most Irish Catholics have a preference for the old sod, if you will. In the Italian community – aboveground crypts, like a village in Italy. A lot of it tends to be driven by family traditions. Now more of our traditions are guided by immigrants from Mexico, Central America and the Philippines, who also bring with them in-ground burial traditions. But once you go through a couple of generations they begin exploring what is meaningful to them personally. In this era, where the general population has chosen cremation more often, then people are beginning to choose cremation in larger numbers. We don’t have a handle on what percentage of Catholics are cremated or buried but what we do know is that at Colma 70 percent of families are being placed in traditional caskets and about 30 percent are being placed in urns. The Catholic community has a lower cremation rate than the general population and that will continue to be lower as the church continues to put its emphasis WILLIAMS, page HC2
(PHOTO BY RICK DELVECCHIO/CATHOLIC SAN FRANCISCO)
125 years of ministry
HC2
Catholic San Francisco
May 18, 2012
A panoramic view of an older section of Holy Cross
A football, candles and lilies form a shrine at a humble grave site.
Williams . . . ■ Continued from page HC1 on the rites and rituals of Christian burial because there is the church’s preference for full-body burial. Cremation is allowed by the church but her preference and teaching is that the rites and rituals happen in the presence of the full body. As long as that continues to be the teaching of the church there’s every reason to believe that the percentage of Catholics who choose cremation will be lower than the general public. Question: How is this teaching understood by the public today? Many young Catholics may not know anything about full body burial and how that fits into everything else the church teaches. What does the cemeteries department do to educate and encourage people to consider what the church desires? Answer: It’s one of the great challenges of my position at this point. Our challenge is to get that message out to the public and in a way that encourages them to be part of Catholic tradition for all the good reasons that tradition exists – the permanent memorial, the continuing community of faith, the continuation that you are part of the church in life, part of the church in death. But it is a real education process. We are trying to put together a PR campaign, if you will, that starts with priests to make sure we are all on the same page and how do we extend your ministry to each parish? We are doing presentations in the parishes. I just did one at St. Cecilia. There were 15 of us who sat down and just talked. We need to be focused on telling our story of what the next 125 years are about and how we impact people’s lives and tell their stories and create their family legacy here. We’re hoping with a three-pronged approach – priests, pastoral staff and public – that that will help and give more information than we have had on a general level than before. The more we are in the public eye – we are now on Facebook and heading to Twitter – will enable us to communicate to people who are not not in the pews. When we (went on) Facebook I began to see people I didn’t know. These are young
(PHOTOS BY RICK DELVECCHIO/CATHOLIC SAN FRANCISCO)
Cemetery in spring
A cherub holds vigil in the cemetery’s children’s area.
125th anniversary Mass On Saturday, June 2, at 11 a.m., Archbishop George Niederauer will celebrate a Mass commemorating the 125th anniversary of Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery. The Mass will be held in Holy Cross Mausoleum Chapel, 1500 Mission Road, Colma. For more information call (650) 756-2060. people. This is going to be another way to get our message out about how we can be of value to them in the event they are not sitting in the pews every Sunday. This is a wonderful new way for us to touch a generation of people who are not necessarily in the pews. Question: What happens when people say, “Hey, you’re just trying to sell me a casket? How come I can’t honor the body, even though it’s in the form of ashes, just as spiritually?” Why are you underlining that the church prefers the full body? What is it spiritually or sacramentally that makes me want to consider that? Answer: Sometimes when that very pointed question comes to me – “Why would that not be OK?” or “I’ve already done this, are you telling me it’s wrong?” – we don’t ever want people to be feel bad about what they’ve done. We assume people make their decisions for the best of reasons. We just want to make sure we are presenting all their options to them and letting them know there’s a historic reason for them because the church, having seen quite a few people go through the stages of grief, believes there is value in viewing the body and praying in the company of the body and acknowledging that individual human remains have worth. We’re not here as the cemetery police. We work for Catholic cemeteries as opposed to other cemeteries because we believe in the ministry of it, because we are Catholics, because ultimately instead of being salespeople we want to be service people. What you want people to say when they leave our office is that “you made this so much easier for me.” Question: With economic differences, is that reflected in how lavish people can go with burials?
Answer: Generally speaking when you see the overground private mausolea, most of those were built around the turn of the century and you were working in an economy that was riding the crest of the Gold Rush. Today periodically we sell one of those – certainly not in the last five years. Economically there’s a smaller percentage of people for whom that is a comfortable choice. When you talk about what the general public selects, which is either usually a simple flat-marker grave or a larger family plot with a larger monument, that gets affected by the economy to a degree. We see it in terms of people who really can’t even afford even the least expensive and “can you put this on terms?” Question: What is the cost? Answer: Casket burials start at $6,500 for a flat marker – that’s everything. It’s a lot all at once. It is, however, a lifetime. It’s a permanent place. We don’t deny Christian burial to any member of our community simply because they are having a tough financial situation. Question: The church, the faithful here, is more and more made up of immigrants. You are probably seeing that in your clients. Answer: Mostly our community is made of families from Mexico and Central America. We have four counselors on staff who speak Spanish, and that’s really in response to the community we’re serving. We know that that is a growing community, we know it’s a young community. We are the first stop for the Guadalupana pilgrimage every December. We know that is the community we hope to be continuing to serve. Tremendous numbers of Filipino Catholics in our community, a growing
community of Pacific Islander Catholics that we serve – everything we do is a reflection of the church in this area. When you look at some of the older sections and read the names on those stones, that’s a reflection of the archdiocese at that time. You’re talking about a population that was heavily Italian and Irish with some German and Eastern European influence, and to a degree the influence of Mexicans who stayed in San Francisco through the transition to the United States. When you walk through any cemetery it’s a trip through the history of that community. Question: Who’s your favorite resident? Answer: My mom and dad are here, my grandparents are here, my great-grandparents are here. I will be the sixth generation to be buried here. The Williams plot has all of those generations. Not only do I feel this professional sacred obligation to the institution of the cemetery, but it’s my cemetery – it’s my family’s cemetery. But aside from my family, one of my favorite residents is Chief Dennis Sullivan, the San Francisco fire chief who died of injuries sustained in the earthquake of 1906. His wife was eventually buried with him. They had no children, so no one really paid attention to his grave site and we ended up doing a wreath-laying ceremony for him on the day of the 100th anniversary (of the earthquake). Because I kind of found him, and he’s part of that great San Francisco tradition and didn’t have any children, he’s kind of mine. I don’t think he has anybody to tell that story for him. Question: What is the one thing that if you didn’t accomplish in five years you would feel that you had not fulfilled your mission? Answer: I think that in five years that if someone came to this cemetery and said the cemetery’s not all that well keptup, it doesn’t look like they really care, that would be a complete failure for me. That is my charge to myself – that we are stewards of this sacred space and the trust that was given by the families. I want a cemetery that honors what it means to be a cemetery.
May 18, 2012
Catholic San Francisco
HC3
Cookbook reminds survivors of fond memories, favorite recipes Holy Cross Cemetery dishes
Everything that the late Lucy Fidichiero cooked was special, but it was hard to top the black bottom pie she made for family gatherings. You can find the recipe in the new cookbook published by Holy Cross Cemetery, along with a note by her daughter, Lana Fidichiero DeMartini, that is as sweet as her mom’s pie. The instructions for making Hilda Ocampo-Tovar’s refried beans are less labor-intensive, but it, too, is a winner and appears in the cookbook to honor her late parents, Alberto and Celia Ocampo. Have a hankering for crab cioppino? Here’s the recipe from Fishermen’s Grotto, in honor of the Geraldi family, many of whom are at one of the cemetery mausoleums. The cookbook is titled “Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery Cookbook of Memories,” and contains 115 recipes – some of which are accompanied by brief stories about the departed people they honor – submitted to Holy Cross by friends and family members of people buried there. It is published as part of the 125th anniversary of Colma’s first and largest cemetery. It also is an extension of the philosophy of Monica J. Williams, the director of cemeteries at the Archdiocese of San Francisco, that cemeteries are full of wonderful stories about lives lived and, notwithstanding their association with grief, they’re places of peace and fond memories, too. “It’s a way of making the cemetery really accessible,” Williams said of the cookbook. “Everybody has a story about a recipe mom made, or their grandparents made, and this is a time when you can connect with the cemetery and just have it be about good memories and not about the actual experience of going through the funeral and the experience of the grief that surrounds those days,” she said. She added, “Those are difficult times the families go through, when they have to be here. But once you pass through that experience – and certainly being people who belong to a community of faith that believes that we will be together again – then cemeteries can really be a very peaceful place, a place of hope, a place of fond memories.” It was Christine Stinson, the family services manager at Holy Cross, who had the idea for the cookbook – and it occurred to her when she thought about the recipe for California spinach rolls that she’s had for 30 years. It’s in a cookbook she bought from a customer at the bank where she worked in Jeannette, Pa. Food, Stinson noted, is associated with family and friends passing away. “The first thing is your neighbors are coming over, maybe with baked goods, and of course any time there is a funeral, a burial, where do you go afterward? You go to a gathering, someplace to eat,” said Stinson. Williams and the rest of the Holy Cross management bought in, and the solicitation of recipes for “Cookbook of Memories” was launched. The 75-page book – price, $10 – is now available at the cemetery office, 1500 Mission Road, Colma, or order by email to costinson@holycrosscemeteries.com. Add $3 postage. Information is at www. holycrosscemeteries.com. The love that Lana DeMartini has for her late mom, Lucy, and dad, Louis Fidichiero, jumps off the page of the cookbook. “My sweet mom was a very loving and generous person, very giving and accommodating to all,” she wrote, and an outstanding cook – the favorite of her daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren being, hands down, the black bottom pie. “Everybody would say, ‘Lucy, if you are coming over bring that black bottom pie,’” said DeMartini. “Not a day goes by when I don’t see that smiling face,” said DeMartini, a San Francisco native, who now visits her parents monthly at Holy Cross. “Whenever I leave that place I just feel so good,” she said.
(PHOTO BY JOSE LUIS AGUIRRE/CATHOLIC SAN FRANCISCO)
By George Raine
CALIFORNIA SPINACH BALLS Serves 70-80 2 pkg. frozen chopped spinach 2 c. Pepperidge Farm seasoned stuffing 2 medium onions, chopped 1 c. Chinese water chestnuts, chopped 5 eggs, beaten ¾ c. melted butter ¾ c. Parmesan cheese ½ tsp. garlic powder ½ tsp. thyme Dash Tabasco sauce Salt and pepper Cook and drain spinach. Mix well all ingredients. Make into balls and freeze for later or bake at 350 F. for 20 minutes. (Recipe from Christine Stinson, family services manager, Holy Cross Cemetery)
Hilda Ocampo-Tovar honors her late parents with a cemetery cookbook recipe for refried beans.
REFRIED BEANS 1 lb. pink beans (not pinto) Enough water to cover and soak beans overnight ½ onion, sliced 1 clove garlic 3 tbsp. olive oil/canola oil
Mary Podesta, of Redwood Shores, submitted “Noni’s Antipasto,” by her late mother-in-law, Mary Juliette Podesta. “What a thoughtful idea of all at Holy Cross Cemetery to remember our deceased loved ones with a cookbook of recipes that we associate with them,” she said. Podesta said exact measurements for the antipasto were not clear. “While I’ve tried to duplicate them as closely as possible,” she said, “I doubt that I could ever match the exact amount of love that went into making it for us. Mangia!” There’s even a recipe handed down by former San Francisco Archbishop Joseph McGucken, who served from 1962-1977 – “May’s Irish Bread” – that Father Joseph A. Gordon, a retired San Francisco priest now living in Gilroy, submitted. It was published in a cookbook he purchased in 1972 from the Ignatian Guild, or the mothers’ club, at St. Ignatius College Preparatory in San Francisco, his alma mater. Father Gordon has made that bread many times – “It’s the most wonderful soda bread in the world” – but he can only speculate on who May was. Perhaps she was a cook for Archbishop McGucken during his time at St. Andrew Church in Pasadena, or maybe in Sacramento when he was bishop there, said Father Gordon. “In any event, this recipe clearly shows she was talented,” he said. There’s a great story behind the refried beans recipe that honors Alberto and Celia Ocampo, told by their daughter, Hilda Ocampo-Tovar, of San Pablo: Her parents married in 1928 and settled in San Francisco. Alberto assumed that Celia could cook, since her mother was a great cook. It wasn’t so. She even told Alberto she was allergic to chicken and wouldn’t go near one – so she would not be making him chicken soup. Then one day Alberto went to Chinatown, bought a live chicken, killed it and made soup – soup so good that Celia learned to make it, as well as refried beans. Then she bought a cookbook, “Anyone Can Bake,” and turned out two blue ribbon winners – an angel food cake and a lemon meringue pie. She became a very good cook. “My mom always said she really wanted to be there, at Holy Cross,” said Ocampo-Tovar. “She said that if she had to go somewhere she had to go to Holy Cross. She wanted a view. My father didn’t care,” she added. “As long as he was with my mom he didn’t care.” They’re buried in the St. Michael section. OcampoTovar’s brother, James, is interred at Holy Cross, too. For Ocampo-Tovar, Holy Cross is family.
Throw soaking water out and fill the pot with fresh water, enough to cover beans. Throw in the onion slices and the clove of garlic. No salt. Boil the beans about 2 to 3 hours or until soft to touch. To fry them: With a slotted spoon, remove beans to another pot or saucepan. Leave some of the liquid in the original pot. Mash the beans thoroughly or puree them. If you feel the beans are too dry then add some of the bean liquid to them. The onion and garlic should have disintegrated into the beans. Heat 3 tbsp. of olive oil in a saute pan until very hot. Add it to the mashed beans and continue stirring until the beans are indeed fried. Now add your salt. It’s better to put a little at a time because if you add a lump amount of salt without tasting them, you could be sorry! (Recipe from Hilda Ocampo-Tovar of San Pablo, daughter of Alberto and Celia Ocampo, who are interred at Holy Cross Cemetery)
CRAB CIOPPINO ½ c. olive oil 1tbsp. chopped garlic 1 tbsp. chopped parsley 1 tbsp. celery 1 tbsp. chopped green pepper 2 c. solid pack tomatoes 1 c. tomato sauce 2 tbsp. salt 1 tbsp. paprika ½ c. sherry wine 3 c. water Small sprig of fresh basillico 1½ c. chopped onions Braise onions, garlic, parsley, celery and bell peppers in oil until golden brown. Add tomatoes and tomato sauce, salt, black pepper, paprika and sherry wine. Cook 25 minutes. Add water. Cook slowly 1 hour. Add your favorite selection of crab and shellfish. (Recipe from Fishermen’s Grotto, San Francisco, submitted in honor of the Geraldi family)
(PHOTO BY GEORGE RAINE/CATHOLIC SAN FRANCISCO)
In a burial field without headstones, a pastor lies with his ‘dear friends’ By George Raine Leafing through the interment record of Section A at Holy Cross Cemetery, the large, gently sloping burial ground that long ago was set aside for indigent persons, you’ll notice that quite a few were laid to rest in the Great Depression years, when many people lost everything. But look at 2011: There were 10 casket burials of indigent people along with six cremations. Those people, too, had nothing. For all of its 125 years, as part of its Catholic ministry, Holy Cross Cemetery in Colma has set aside room for the burial of people who had no funds or no family, believing that all people, Catholic or not, have dignity in life and in the passing of life. “Because we are a Catholic cemetery, because we are an active part of the ministry of the church, we do not deny burial to anyone based on their financial status,” said Monica J. Williams, director of cemeteries for the Archdiocese of San Francisco. Section A, a field of 140,304 square feet at the northeast corner of Holy Cross, has room for 5,688 burials, but not all the allotted spaces are occupied. For many years Section A was exclusively the area used for burial of indigent people, but since the 1960s or 1970s the thinking at the cemetery – led
This statue bears the name of Father John P. Tobin, who wanted to be buried with the needy people he had served.
by Roger Appleby, the recently retired general manager – has evolved to this: Indigent persons should be buried alongside everyone else, they should not be isolated. “It is a continuation of the tradition that we take care of everyone,” said Williams. “It is perhaps more reflective of
an idea that we don’t label people and that we don’t separate people in the community as made up of people of various means and financial status,” she said. Most often, Holy Cross is contacted by the public administrator or the public guardian of San Francisco or San Mateo County – and sometimes a coroner’s office, if the remains have been abandoned – for the burial of someone indigent. The cemetery also coordinates with the Missionaries of Charity who run a hospice in Pacifica for homeless men, some of whom have AIDS. For many years Holy Cross worked closely with the San Francisco College of Mortuary Science, now closed, which helped arrange burials. There are no headstones in Section A. It is a pretty field, studded with English daisies. There is, however, near the center, a marble statute. It was dedicated by the St. Vincent de Paul Society and bears the name of Father John P. Tobin (18761929), the first pastor of St. Cecilia Parish in San Francisco, who is buried in front of it. Father Tobin wished to be buried with the needy people he had served at what was then called Laguna Honda Home in San Francisco – people he referred to as “my dear friends.” INDIGENT, page HC4
HC4
Catholic San Francisco
May 18, 2012
(PHOTO BY RICK DELVECCHIO/CATHOLIC SAN FRANCISCO)
Cemetery crew members Bill Cornu and Miguel Vazquez maneuver a burial vault lid into place at Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery, Colma, May 9. Mourners had placed a single red rose on the lid.
‘I wouldn’t trade this job for the world’ More than a job, gravedigger is a vocation: It calls for serving loved ones first at the moment of deepest sadness and later in times of reflection and peace By Dana Perrigan On a mild and cloudy April morning, an elderly man in a gray suit and tie walks through the main gate of Holy Cross Cemetery. Clutching a bouquet of calla lilies in one hand and a cigarette in the other, he strides purposefully past grassy acres lined with neat rows of marble and granite headstones. Finally, he reaches the one that marks the spot where a loved one has been laid to rest. Looking down at the grave, the elderly man bows his head and remains motionless for a moment. He then bends down and lays the lilies gently in front of the headstone. Variations on this quiet moment spent with a loved one who has died take place throughout the day – and every day – at Holy Cross Cemetery in Colma. Those who work here know that death, whatever else it has done, does not end the relationship between the living and those whose love they come here to honor and celebrate. Providing them with a peaceful and beautiful setting to do that, they say, is only part of a job they view as an important and fulfilling ministry. “I call it God’s work,” said Kelly Bonillas. “It’s been quite a journey for me, but I wouldn’t trade this job for the world.” Bonillas’ journey at Holy Cross began 30 years ago, when, at the age of 19, he was hired along with 17 other young men to plant trees in a new section of the cemetery. “I outlasted all the other guys,” said Bonillas. “My father always told me that your work speaks louder than your words, so I kept my mouth shut and worked.” Instructed by the older, mostly Irish and Italian crewmembers, Bonilla began his long apprenticeship as gravedigger – including learning to strip and groom graves for burials, to serve reverently as pallbearer at burial services, and to care for the 300 acres that make up the San Francisco archdiocese’s largest and oldest cemetery. While maintaining the beautiful park-like setting at Holy Cross is demanding in itself, said Bonillas, helping grieving families say goodbye to their loved ones is the most challenging and rewarding aspect of the job.
Indigent . . . ■ Continued from page HC3 Father Tobin, born in Ireland, was an assistant pastor at Mission Dolores for 14 years before being assigned to St. Cecilia, in the sand dunes of the Parkside District, in 1917. He distinguished himself in part by acquiring property for a parish plant and launching St. Cecilia, but also by performing the corporal and spiritual works of mercy – just as the cemetery does, by burying the dead – among the poor of San Francisco. He wanted to erect a statute, Williams said, that would memorialize the people who were buried in Section A. “He was very active in making sure that the poor of the City and County of San Francisco had a dignified Christian burial, so he had the statute erected,” she said.
“You have to be in tune with them,” said Bonillas, who worked as a gravedigger at Holy Cross for 21 years before becoming a manager eight years ago. “You have to know what to say and when to say it.” And when, of course, to say nothing at all. In an effort not to intrude on a family’s private grief, cemetery staff members who serve as pallbearers communicate silently, with a glance or a gesture. “The most emotional part (of a burial service) is when the casket goes down,” said Bonillas. “So we try to be invisible then.” Having served as pallbearer at hundreds, if not thousands, of burials, Bonillas has seen and witnessed the perspective that death can bring. “You see guys who have been chasing the American dream,” he said. “They drive in behind the wheel of their Mercedes or BMW. Maybe they’ve lost a mom or dad. Now they realize that all these material things really mean nothing.” Because they must work with death on a daily basis, perspective is a necessary attribute for the counselors, gravediggers and managers at Holy Cross. The majority of the 54 employees have been here for decades. “It’s not an occupation for everyone,” said Monica Williams. “For some people, it’s too emotional. You have to have a balance between compassion and the ability to guide with competence.” Now director of cemeteries for the San Francisco archdiocese, Williams started working summers at Holy Cross when she was in college pursuing a teaching career. After discovering that working at a cemetery was primarily about helping people, she switched career goals. “When people come to us, things are not good – they’re bad,” said Williams. “It’s one of the worst things a family has to go through. So every family that comes to us is in a bad place.” Grieving families need someone with a calming and reassuring presence, said Williams, someone who will guide them
through a process that involves making many decisions while under emotional duress. “Some brides take two years to arrange a wedding,” said Williams. “Essentially, we do the same thing here in three days.” Since most of those who work at Holy Cross have family members who are buried at Holy Cross, they understand what the families are going through. “I thought I was a decent funeral director before,” said Williams. “But after my father died, I was much better.” Later that morning, Bonillas drives over to Section H to check on a crew preparing a grave for a burial service that will take place in the afternoon. A statue of Mary is attached to the Chevy’s dash; a rosary hangs from the rearview mirror. After parking, Bonillas finds Rick Harper seated at the controls of a backhoe, while Bill Cornu and Gus Esparza assist from the ground with shovels. The three men have worked together for several years now. Harper started working at Holy Cross 31 years ago; the veteran Cornu has been there 40 years; Esparza, whom they jokingly call “the rookie,” was hired 10 years ago. All say they enjoy working outdoors, the variety of the work they do, and those they do it with. Since there are often as many as 20 burial services a week at Holy Cross, they have a lot of experience in assisting families during a difficult time. “You don’t want to intrude on the grieving process, but you want to help them as much as you can,” said Harper. “The tough time is when it’s a child,” said Cornu. “Yes,” agrees Esparza, “but in front of the family you gotta be strong.” “It keeps us grounded,” said Bonillas. “It keeps us all humble.” But not everyone, said Bonillas, looks at Holy Cross as a sad place. “Families come out here with lawn chairs and a picnic to spend time with their loved ones,” he said. “They seem happy. They believe in God and they know that their loved one is waiting for them.”
It bears the words of John 11:25: “I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live.” In his will, Father Tobin asked that the poor he had ministered to be taken care of in his absence. This included maintaining a ledger on which he tracked the very small amount of savings that some of the people had to their names. He left instructions on where the ledger was kept and asked that the accounting work continue. That was his wish, along with being buried in what many people called Potter’s Field – a term, also from Matthew, referring to ground not suited for agriculture, but more for the source of potter’s clay – “a burying place for strangers.” The Catholic duty, or corporal and spiritual works of mercy, to bury the dead and to pray for the living and the dead, comes from the Gospels and reflects the belief that “the body is the temple of the soul, the temple of the Holy Spirit, and so one
need have respect for that temple during life and also in the passing of life,” said Msgr. James Tarantino, the vicar for administration and moderator of the curia at the archdiocese. The corporal works of mercy, in particular, are based on Christ’s prophecy of the Last Judgment, that will determine each person’s final destiny. “The corporal works of mercy are rooted very much directly at the core of what Jesus said,” Msgr. Tarantino said. “And it is crucial for us if we are going to be followers of Christ to take that mandate of love seriously. You just can’t say you have love for your fellow human being and somebody is lying on the street and you walk past them. You can’t say you have love for your fellow human beings if you don’t feed them and you can’t say you have love for your fellow human beings who have died if you don’t care for the sacred remains of that individual,” he said.