TCFV Edition 275

Compassionate Connections THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS VICTORIA MAGAZINE Edition No. 275

Letters to Loved Ones Volunteering at TCFV Open Day Photos

Supporting Parents, Siblings and Grandparents after a Child Dies 24 HOUR Grief Support Phone (03) 9888 4944 National Number 1300 064 068 www.tcfv.org.au

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INDEX 1

Cover Painting by Tarn Ellis

21

Memorial Ideas

3

Index & Editors Letter

22-23

Draw your own mandala

4-5

Board Report & Poem

24-25

Life After Life

6-7

Centre News

26-27

Grieving the Aboriginal way

8-9

Mother’s Day

28

Group Leader Training

10-11 Letters to Loved Ones

29

Opinion

12-13 Grief on TV

30

Library News

14-15

Volunteering

31 Staff / Board / Membership

16

New Staff

32-33

TCFV Support Groups & Social Support Groups

17 Candlelight Memorial Service

34

Community Noticeboard Advertising

18-19

Open Day

35

Community Noticeboard

20

She Won’t Be Right Mate & Volunteer Lunch

36

Thank You Supporters

COMPETITION

Create the next Compassionate Connections front cover!

Draw, paint take a photo of something for upcoming magazines along the theme of Winter, Spring, Summer & Autumn.

Deadline for the WINTER magazine is Thursday 1 May.

EDITORS LETTER Dear Friends Welcome to the Autumn edition of Compassionate Connections.

As the seasons change and the leaves begin to turn, we enter a time of reflection and remembrance. March, April, and May bring many significant dates—Labour Day, Easter, and Mother’s Day—occasions that can be both meaningful and challenging for those of us who are grieving.

We have several upcoming events that offer opportunities to connect, remember, and find support. Our annual Walk to Remember is approaching, along with a Bereaved Mother’s Day Supper and special gatherings for the Newly Bereaved. There is also a Menspace BBQ for bereaved fathers, siblings, and grandparents within our community. We hope these events provide comfort and community to all who attend.

In this edition, we are pleased to share some wonderful photos from last year’s Candlelight Memorial, our Volunteer Lunch, and our visit to Yarra Glen Racecourse for the She Won’t Be Right, Mate Mental Health Expo. These moments capture the strength of our community and the importance of coming together.

Recently, we hosted Open Days on February 7 and 8, welcoming visitors from other bereavement organisations, as well as the Mayor of Boroondara and local MP Monique Ryan. It was a valuable opportunity to share our work and build connections with those who support the bereaved.

This magazine is for you, our members, but also for the wider community—to raise awareness of the vital support we provide.

As always, I encourage you to contribute to this magazine—whether it’s an article, a poem, a song, or a personal reflection in memory of your loved one. We also welcome your feedback on any aspect of this magazine.

Your words help create a space of understanding and solidarity for all who read them. Thank you to everyone who has sent in articles for this edition.

Until next time, may you find peace in the cooler days, the misty mornings, and the colourful turning of the leaves.

Sending you all peace and love.

Jane Moschetti Bereaved Mother of Joseph

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BOARD REFLECTIONS 2025 is a year in which TCFV is looking forward to many strategic developments as we move forward under the dynamic leadership of our CEO Alex Hamilton, working collaboratively with our experienced and expanding Board. We are engaged in a process where the shape of our service delivery to bereaved families is being refined and grown. Our strategic plan outlines three main areas for maintaining and developing our services: 1. Grow services in balance with resource capacity to be responsive to needs and contribute to community mental health and well-being.

2. Develop and maintain a financially sustainable organisation to continue providing vital services.

3. Improve technological capabilities to be responsive to emerging opportunities and needs of the bereaved To facilitate the implementation of these strategic goals, the Board has recently acted to restructure our staffing arrangements. These strategic goals are general guiding principles that the Board and CEO use to plan the structure of TCFV moving forward. Key issues that have been considered in this restructure are found in those guiding strategic goals.

A major focus of these goals is that we want to grow our services while remaining financially sustainable.

The recent restructuring of our staffing model has this focus clearly in mind. The development of 3 discrete new positions will enable a focus of energy and skills on key areas of our operations. The broad areas of attention are the ones that we are familiar with in our former staffing structure but the new structure will enable us to further develop new and innovative ways in our compassionate responses to the bereaved families who come to us for support.

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Under the broad areas of office administration, volunteer coordination and event management, these three positions will enrich the ways in which we operate and respond to the needs of our members. Great work has been done in these areas in the past and it is the plan to further develop and expand the delivery of our services. We are looking to employ lived experience people who will bring their own journey through bereavement to the positions, alongside a range of personal and professional skills which will create the next step in the caring and creative delivery of our support services.

The financial sustainability of the organisation is enhanced by these changes. The overall staffing budget will be reduced in our new structure. The development of further sources of funding beyond our much-valued Victorian Government Health Department grant will also be part of the new staffing structure.

We understand changes to a structure that has been in place for some time has challenging aspects as it is implemented.

Some long serving staff, Jenny Galati and Paul Gadsden, have not continued in employment with us following this restructure. They have both made a wonderful contribution to TCFV over the years, which has been greatly appreciated.

Alongside the development of these three new part-time positions, we are also excited to be able to expand again our service delivery to bereaved siblings. With a grant from the Jared Dunscombe Foundation, we are able to employ a new Siblings Coordinator, who will work closely with all our other new staff in the delivery of our key services. Some great applicants have been interviewed and an appointment is imminent. The process of employment in the other three new appointments is also well underway. Andrew McNess is stepping into a more senior coordination role within the organisation, overseeing these new positions in conjunction with his key role in group support, supervision and training.

These are exciting times in the life of TCFV. While we all acknowledge that any change to practices

Once Was Strong.

and procedures will bring about an inevitable

I was once strong, self-assured and confident,

anxiety, we are also poised to experience a

With what I thought was an unbreakable and tenacious spirit.

new and refreshed chapter in our rich history

But we all have our vulnerabilities,

of supporting bereaved families. Building on all the good work of the past 47 years, we will continue to offer care and support to individuals

Sometimes they are things we just don’t see, And life can have a way of finding our weaknesses.

and families as they travel the traumatic path of bereavement. The sensitive, caring and safe

So, when something happens out of the blue,

nature of our environment and culture at the TCFV

A totally unexpected and indescribably dreadful event,

Centre in Canterbury, together with the offer of the same care in our groups and events, will continue to be the cornerstone of how we operate.

The CEO and Board have worked creatively and diligently in the development of this next stage

It just shakes you to the very core, And your irrepressible will and strength is suddenly gone.

Adrift and battered by the reality of grief and powerlessness,

of the TCFV story. We look forward to sharing

You grapple to accept there are things in life you can’t ever control,

the journey with the community of staff and

And you battle each day to carry on and survive the awful agony.

volunteers as we work together to ensure that the bereaved people we embrace need never walk alone in their grief.

Kevin Purvis President TCFV Bereaved Father of Stephen (15)

But you go on and eventually you find the strength to bear it.

Because despite all you’ve lost, there is still love in the world, The eternal love that connects you to your loved one in the next world, And the love of those you love and those who love you, Who remain left behind and really need each other.

I’m still fragile and sometimes stumble and fall, And I’m not strong like I once was, but I’m still here.

Because where there is love there is life.

Steven Katsineris April 2018.

Bereaved Father of Chione (6)

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CENTRE NEWS

Friendship Circle Members – Organisational Thank you to the following …

Wooling Hill Memorial Estate Chapter House Funerals

Bound Copies of the TCFV Magazine Every three years, copies of the magazine are bound into a Blue Book and kept at the Centre in the Library. Unfortunately, Volume 11 has gone missing, so if anyone has this important book, could they please contact the Centre and let us know.

Thank you.

EVENTS DATE

EVENT

VENUE

March 26 – Wednesday

Bereaved Grandparents Morning Tea

TCFV Centre

March 31 – Monday

Evening with Blokes Psychology

TCFV Centre

April 6 - Sunday

Walk to Remember

Princes Park, Carlton

April 10 - Wednesday

Gentle Connections (Newly Bereaved)

TCFV Centre

May 1 – Thursday

Bereaved Mother’s Day Supper

BASSCare

June 13 – Friday

Illuminate 47

TBA

December 13 – Sunday

Candle Lighting Service

TBA

For these and other upcoming events please see www.tcfv.org.au/events

Every 10-cent donation helps The Compassionate Friends Victoria is a registered donation partner with Victoria’s Container Deposit Scheme (CDS). This means that, if you’re in a position to do so, you can direct your funds to us. We are signed up with all three zones across the state, so whether you’re in Mooroolbark, Mildura or Morwell, your eligible containers can make a difference to the services and resources that we offer to bereaved people. Containers that have a 10c mark on them (usually near the barcode) can be returned to one of the many refund points and the money applied to our account.

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Thank you to all the TCFV Volunteers Thank you to our incredible volunteers! Volunteer Week runs from 19–25 May, and we want to express our heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you who generously gives your time and energy to support TCFV. Whether you provide phone support, lead groups, write anniversary cards, volunteer at the centre, assist with the magazine, provide articles, photos or help with mail-outs, lend a hand at events and other one-off occasions, your dedication makes everything we do possible.

To all our wonderful volunteers, keep an eye out for this year’s special event during Volunteer Week – it’s our way of celebrating you!

Photo below was taken at the “SUMMER” magazine mailout and shows from l-r - Sandra, John B, Jane (staff), Rai, Phil, John K.

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When Mother’s Day is really, really hard Mother’s Day is not a joyful holiday for everyone. Many people have a hard time on this day, including those affected by infertility, miscarriage, death of a child, or estrangement. You don’t have to go it alone - reaching out to a close friend or finding a therapist familiar with the concern you’re facing, can make a huge difference in how you feel.

Why Mother’s Day can be so hard when you’re grieving

Mother’s Day can be painful if you’ve dealt with infertility or child loss, as it reminds you of what could have been.

Mother’s Day can also be incredibly difficult for someone who recently lost their mother, or who is estranged from their mum. Grief is difficult to navigate any day of the year, but it can be especially intense on days when everyone else seems to be celebrating, reminding you of what you don’t have.

When you’ve dealt with a miscarriage

Coping with a pregnancy loss, like a miscarriage or stillbirth, is devastating. You experienced the joy and excitement of learning you were pregnant, only to have that taken away. Mother’s Day and anniversaries of the loss are often the most painful for women who have had a pregnancy loss, and may trigger depression after a miscarriage.

Remember that you are dealing with grief, which is an emotion that never fully goes away. Everyone experiences grief differently, so there is no “right” way to feel after a miscarriage.

When You’ve Lost a Child

Losing a child is considered the most difficult loss to endure. Milestones like your child’s birthday, holidays, and Mother’s Day will never be the same. You may find yourself experiencing a range of emotions, including depression, anger, shock, regret, and guilt. Acknowledging your feelings, finding a special way to remember and honour your child, and staying close to your support system can help you get through these painful milestones.

Ways to cope when Mother’s Day is painful

Mother’s Day is a difficult holiday for anyone who does not have their own children or mother in their lives. If you have experienced infertility, loss of a pregnancy or child, or estrangement from a child or your own mother, make sure you’re taking steps to care for yourself.

Here are seven ways to cope when you’re having a difficult time on Mother’s Day:

1. Give yourself permission to feel your emotions

Depending upon your situation, you may find yourself experiencing emotions like sadness, anger, regret, jealousy, or resentment this Mother’s Day. Many people react to their emotions negatively with judgments like, “It’s wrong to feel this way” or “I shouldn’t feel this way when so many people in the world have it worse than me.” These judgments will only make you feel worse. Instead, give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up and acknowledge your emotions. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to feel when dealing with infertility, loss, or estrangement.

2. Find a positive outlet for your feelings

Acknowledging your feelings is the first step in healing, but the next step involves taking action to cope with these emotions. Consider different outlets for your feelings, like exercise, art, music, or journaling. This may be something that you have done in the past or something new. It is important to push yourself to engage in positive activities even when you feel terrible. This is called activity scheduling, which is a highly effective strategy for recovering from negative emotions and mental health concerns like depression.

3. Avoid social media and other triggers

If you anticipate that Mother’s Day will be difficult, you may want to take a social media break for a few days. It can be painful to see other people sharing positive feelings on this day. Also consider what other people, places, or things may trigger negative emotions and, if possible, stay away from them this holiday.

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4. Plan a “Me day”

In anticipation of Mother’s Day being hard, plan something special for yourself, like a lunch date with your partner or friend, a spa treatment, or a day trip somewhere fun. This can help shift your focus away from the pain of Mother’s Day and make it a celebration of you.

5. Reach out to friends, family, or loved ones

Feeling connected to other positive people is one of the most effective ways to deal with negative feelings. If you are struggling this Mother’s Day, keep in touch with other people in your life who either have been through similar struggles or who are empathic to how you are feeling. If you don’t have anyone like that in your life, you can benefit from finding an online or local support group for people dealing with infertility, grief and loss, or estrangement.

6. Make Mother’s Day special for another woman in your life

Consider the women in your life who have encouraged you, nurtured your soul, or who have been a constant source of support and love. Finding ways to make Mother’s Day special for one of these women could lend a sense of joy and purpose to this difficult day. Motherhood isn’t just about biology—it is about being caring, protective, and kind, promoting the growth and wellbeing of another. Take this opportunity to celebrate the special women in your life.

7. Reach out to others who are grieving a similar loss Connecting with others who are grieving a similar loss can offer solidarity and support during this emotional time. Strong social support has been shown to safeguard against the physical, mental, and emotional impacts of stress. Finding others in a similar situation can provide valuable companionship on Mother’s Day and beyond.

Author: Emily Guarnotta, PsyD Edited from: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/mothers-day-grieving/

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Letters to Loved Ones Greetings Friends I lost my beautiful daughter Laura Elisabeth aged 20 to suicide.

Laura did very well at school, and she was studying to become a Division One Nurse. She won multiple best and fairest awards when she played Aussie Rules football and was going to play for St Kilda in the AFL Women’s League.

Laura worked two jobs while studying but she suffered from several mental health issues, and they got the better of her and she took her life on 1 October 2019.

Last Mother’s Day, a difficult date in any bereaved mother’s diary, I was reading a passage in the book “Bittersweet: how sorrow and longing make us whole”, in which the author looks at the Japanese haiku poet and lay Buddhist priest Kobayashi Issa’s writing, 200 years ago, around his heartbreak at the death of his daughter: This world of dew Is the world of dew, And yet, and yet – The author then creatively paraphrases what Issa went on to write, “And yet, I’ll long for my daughter forever. And yet, I’ll never be whole again. And yet, I cannot accept, will not accept, do you hear me as I whisper that I do not accept the brutal terms of life and death on this beautiful planet”.

And yet.

The shock of Liadan’s tragic death four years ago is wearing off. The reality of the rest of our lives without her seems too large to countenance. Richard and I inhabit the world: family, friends, work, we revisit old interests and explore new ideas of what might engage us in the lives we have been left to live without one of our children. Without Liadan. She had so many more years to live. She should have lived. Please hear me when I whisper this is so hard …

Louisa Ring Rolfe, loving mother of Caillin, Brynach and Liadan (1998-2020)

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My son Jonathan was 19 when he took his life.

He was working at St Kilda Football club parttime. He loved it there and the players and staff loved him; he was happy with life.

Jonathan along with his sister Sarah, brother James and I would go to watch the Melbourne soccer club play in Melbourne. We also went to watch St Kilda in the AFL and Melbourne Storm in the Rugby League. His grandma would go with Jonathan to the St Kilda games but then COVID came. All sport was shut down and he couldn’t watch sport and he couldn’t work.

COVID attacked his mind, and he thought his world was ending.

I have a faith in God, and I hold onto hope that I will see Laura my beautiful daughter and my wonderful son Jonathan in heaven. I also lost by wife Yvonne 6 months after Jonathan’s passing.

Neil Summers Bereaved Father of Laura and Jonathan

When the people around us are going through difficulty or crisis or trauma, it can be hard to know what to do.

Other people’s problems terrify us a bit - as a culture we’re not good at comfort. There seem to be two bad choices: you can reach out or do nothing.

But when you reach out you run the risk of feeling uncomfortable, of being embarrassed, of saying the wrong thing, of opening old wounds, of upsetting someone, of causing tears in the workplace. None of us wants to do any of these things, so the second option of doing nothing looks pretty appealing.

But the problem with doing nothing is that you are not really doing nothing. What happens when you do nothing is that you increase the sense of isolation, you remove the comforting embrace of community, and you amplify the feelings of loneliness, despair, entrapment and rage. And it’s those feelings, when left alone to fester, that become the negative behaviour that very likely caused the problem in the first place.

Of course, if we’re okay with the statistics then we should keep doing nothing. If we’re okay with 86 women being killed in Australia so far this year, do nothing. If we’re okay with suicide being the main cause of death for men between the ages of 15 and 44, do nothing. If we’re okay with the rates of self-harm and addiction and sexual violence and divorce, we should change nothing. But of course, none of us are okay with any of those things.

When we sat in the courtroom as the prisoner was brought up to the cubicle, safe behind bulletproof glass, I expected to be horrified. I expected to see a monster. Instead, I saw a small, pathetic, damaged man. We are not facing an army of evil. This is not an impossible intractable problem. This is human frailty. We can deal with this.

We ALL have our finger on the button on this issue. So, I invite everyone, women and men, but particularly men, to reach out. Reach out to where there is something that has been left unsaid. Reach out to where there is a scar, to where there is damage, to where you messed up. Reach out to someone who is floundering.

You never know the extent of your reach. Your simple act of kindness to a stranger can dissolve some of that pain, and that momentum never builds up to end in suffering.

As men, this is our work. THIS is our job. To make it possible for men to be vulnerable in public. To make it possible for men to acknowledge their fear and hurt and shame, to make it okay to ask for help, to make it normal to reach out and stand by one another and call each other out. You don’t have to save the world. Just reach out and touch someone. Acknowledge their struggle. And watch their world transform.

Dave Hope For my late sister’s granddaughter ISLA BELL

Love, It Never Ever Dies You left this life before me, but a thread connects us still, between this world and that.

Our lives are intertwined, yours and mine, together for all time.

For love lives on, life after life, it never ever dies.

Steven Katsineris Bereaved Father of Chione (6)

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Grief: It’s What’s on TV

“I don’t want to talk about it!”

That’s the way grief and loss were handled back on TV in the 1970s with shows like “The Brady Bunch” or “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father.” What did we really know about Mike Brady’s first wife? In the show’s first episode, viewers learned that she passed away, and there is a brief conversation between the father and his youngest son about keeping a photo of mom. Meanwhile, the absence of Carol Brady’s first husband remained a mystery. Little Eddie in “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father” bounces back rather quickly as well. No grieving, tears, discussion, or memories of those dead parents around the house.

In recent years, that paradigm has changed, with popular series like “Shrinking,”“This is us,” “The Bear,” and “After life” tackling grief. A recent theatre production titled “Sorry for your loss” focusses on the loss of a child and even a podcast hosted by Anderson Cooper called “All there is” includes talking and crying openly about grief.

“Grief is the one universal experience that we will all have,” says Michael Cruz Kayne, comedian and author of the play “Sorry for your loss,” about the death of his infant son.

An article published by the University of Cambridge estimates that for every death, on average nine people are affected by grief. COVID-19 caused a silent epidemic of grief. Right on COVID’s heels, the fentanyl epidemic has created a whole new legion of grievers as well. A recent 2024 survey by the nonprofit Rand Corporation found that more than 40 percent of American adults know someone who died from an overdose.

So, basically, the old “I don’t want to talk about it” has become something we all seem to be talking about because we want and even need to talk about it to get through life. If “The Brady Bunch” were rebooted today, the kids might be speaking to a grief counsellor, and Mike and Carol would have at least one photo of their deceased spouses around the house.

In Apple TV’s “Shrinking,” co-written, produced, and starring Jason Segel as a therapist grieving his wife’s death and trying to understand his daughter’s grief process, viewers watch a very realistic experience of grief unfold.

“More shows are starting to tackle the complexity, the anger and the lashing out that comes with grief,” said Litsa Williams, co-founder, along with Eleanor Haley of the online grief community What’s Your Grief? “They aren’t just sitting at home crying. Everybody in Shrinking, for example, is grieving different things, and it’s a comedy. In just a half hour they do it all brilliantly.”

Netflix’s “After life” takes the audience on a messy emotional ride with recent widower Tony, played by Ricky Gervais (who also wrote and directed), laid low to the point of considering suicide in the early stages of his grief.

And surprise, Tony doesn’t “get over it” or “move on” by episode two. His grief journey is the show. He is sad and cranky and depressed for the whole season. It’s raw and real, and grief counsellor Sharon Greaney-Watt of Babylon, New York thinks it’s great.

“After life speaks to the importance of connection as human beings, especially in such grief,” she said. “I think the show speaks to the process of integrating and managing one’s grief, to be able to ultimately carry the grief as one moves forward.”

Kim Roots, managing editor of TVLine, a website devoted to all things TV, agrees that grief has come out in the open. And that TV series have come a long way since Carol and Mike Brady’s former spouses just disappeared with little explanation.

“I do feel that now it’s a little bit more out in the open and used a bit more as a thread throughout a show’s run,” she said.

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While Roots doesn’t claim to know exactly why the “grief plot thread” is more popular these days, she agrees that it seems easier to talk about feelings now than maybe it was 30 or 40 years ago.

“Maybe we’ve all had a little bit more therapy and we take a little bit more comfort in talking about these hard things in public,” she added.

Or maybe streaming has spurred an evolution toward more high-quality TV, without censors, that’s aimed at an audience willing to talk about almost anything. With cultural energy being directed at TV, the door is now open for massive changes in how everything is covered, from gays to complicated relationships to criminals to all kinds of angst. And grief.

Then there are the modern-day societal challenges, like the opioid crisis, that have brought grief front and centre for far too many people in “real life.”

Claudia Friszell, who leads a weekly support group for those affected by addiction and grief, says that she believes the alarming rates of drug-related deaths, especially from the recent fentanyl epidemic, could be the impetus for the emergence of grief as a plot thread.

“It’s incredibly healing and comforting to see yourself and your situation on TV. Watching a character behave a little bit crazy due to grief makes me think ‘Hey, I’m not crazy after all. I feel the same way,’” said Friszell.

So, a weekly TV show can become a therapy session, in a sense, for a grieving viewer. And now it seems that Hollywood and the entertainment industry are on that same well-travelled path.

Carole Trottere works with law enforcement communications on Narcan training and with families who are grieving. Her only child died at the age of 30 from fentanyl poisoning.Are there movies or shows you have watched that brought you some comfort or understanding?

Taken from this article in Psychology Today, June 2024. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-ones-we-love/202407/grief-its-whats-on-tv

AfterLife

TCFV Autumn 2025 13

Volunteering at The Compassionate Friends Victoria Volunteers are the heart of TCFV, offering friendship, hope, and understanding to bereaved parents, siblings, and grandparents. With over 140 volunteers, we provide vital peer support and services to help families navigate life after loss. Our program also raises awareness about the unique challenges faced by grieving families.

The objectives of our Volunteer Program are to foster peer support, ensure the needs of bereaved families are met, and assist in the smooth operation of TCFV. Volunteers contribute in many ways, including facilitating support groups, providing telephone support, helping with office admin and assisting with events and community outreach.

Volunteer Program Objectives Our Volunteer Program is designed to: • Foster peer support within the bereaved community.

• Ensure bereaved families receive the support they need.

• Offer a safe and welcoming space where members can contribute while developing their own skills.

• Create opportunities for members to connect with staff and fellow volunteers, building friendships and reducing isolation.

• Support the smooth operation of TCFV. Volunteers Support our work in many ways, including: • Centre Support – Helping with office administration, library tasks, computer work, and general operations at the TCFV Centre (open weekdays, 9:00 am – 5:00 pm). Volunteers can assist anytime between 9:30 am and 4:30 pm.

• 24/7 Telephone Support (Training Required) - Answering grief-related calls on our support lines.

• Social Media & Communications – Assisting with monitoring social media (Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn), and contributing content.

• Grief Support Groups (Training Required) – Facilitating statewide support meetings, including special interest groups (Siblings, Suicide Bereavement, Coffee Mornings, and Dinner Groups).

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• Magazine Team – Helping with content and quarterly mail-outs to over 3,000 members and businesses.

• Public Speaking & Community Awareness (Training Required) – Participating in guest speaker programs and educating workplaces and community groups on how to support bereaved employees.

• Memorial Services & Events – Assisting in organizing and running the Gathering, Walk to Remember, Candlelight Night, and other memorial and social events.

• Fundraising & Outreach – Helping with fundraising initiatives, advisory committees, and engaging with the community.

• Board & Committees – Serving on the Board, Various Committees, or other advisory groups.

Training & Development We provide ongoing training, including: • Telephone responder training.

• Support group facilitation.

• Public speaking and community education.

• First aid and mental health first aid.

The Impact of Volunteering Volunteers are the backbone of TCFV, making a profound difference in the lives of grieving families.

Your contribution is deeply valued, and together, we create a compassionate community of support.

If you are interested in volunteering at TCFV, please contact us on admin@tcfv.org.au or (03) 9888 4034 to speak to one of our friendly staff.

Watch out for some special Volunteer Only Events coming up during Volunteer Week 19 – 25 May!

TCFV Autumn 2025 15

Introducing New TCFV Staff Members Please welcome to our wonderful organisation Hope, Nat, and Jude. We are absolutely delighted to have them join our team and look forward to the passion, dedication, and fresh perspectives they will bring to our community.

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Candlelight Memorial Service

TCFV Autumn 2025 17

Open Day

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Open Day

TCFV Autumn 2025 19

She Won’t Be Right Mate

Volunteer Lunch

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Memorial Ideas At “The Gathering” in 2022, Jane Moschetti ran a workshop presenting a slew of ideas about how to memorialise our loved ones. In this series, we’ll introduce one in each edition of the magazine for you to consider and explore in more depth, if it appeals.

Ashes

If you have ashes and want to create something with them, here are some options. Be aware that some of these selections can be quite expensive.

Jewellery: There are many ways you can have cremated remains incorporated into jewellery, whether that’s as a locket to hold ashes, or as ash-infused pieces. Some of the Australian websites that offer these services are Keepsake Jewellery, Beyond Love Creations, Immeryours, Keepsakes By Nicoleta, Ever Dear and Eternal Urns.

Painting: One US site, Icons in Ash, offers to paint your loved one’s portrait using their ashes. There is also a book (with the same name) of the artist’s work available for purchase.

Fireworks: You can decide to use some or all of your loved one’s ashes in a spectacular fireworks display through Ashes to Ashes.

Commemorative ornaments: Choose from glass mementoes with Memorial Glass or an orb from Cremation Keepsakes or a custom sculpture from Tamborine Glass Blowing.

Trees: Properly prepared ashes are used to grow a tree, via Living Legacy Forest.

What are some things that you’ve done to memorialise your family member? Please let Jane know (janem@tcfv. org.au) and we can include these ideas in future editions of the magazine.

Joanna Durst, volunteer Remembering Zoë.

From: Keepsakes By Nicoleta (urn)

From: Beyond Love Creations

From Immeryours From: Tamborine Glass blowing

From: Cremation Keepsakes

From: Living Legacy Forest

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Draw your own mandala Creating a Mandala Mandala is a Sanskrit word meaning ‘whole world’, ‘sacred circle’ or ‘magic circle’. Mandala-making is used for insight, healing and self-expression. Making and filling-in a circular design with colours, images, shapes and symbols, reflects the wholeness of the person creating it and provides a pathway of connection with the intuitive and unconscious parts of ourselves where insight and deeper understanding reside. The practice of drawing a mandala does not require artistic skill or experience – only a desire to learn more about what is going on inside of us as we move forward through loss and grief.

Materials • White paper in the size of your choice (A4 multi-purpose paper can be used).

• A paper plate: the plate will be used as a template for your mandala.

• Your choice of crayons, pastels, colour markers or colour pencils.

The Steps for Making Your Mandala 1. Lay out all of your colouring implements in front of you for easy access.

2. Relax the body and mind. Take a moment to do this quick relaxation exercise: Close your eyes. Breathe a bit slower and deeper than usual to comfort. Focus on taking air in through the nose and letting it out through the nose or mouth. Do this several times.Now focus in on the feelings inside of your body.

See if there are any areas of discomfort, tension or pain, as well as areas of lightness, comfort and ease. Do an inventory of your body. Start with your head and face. Move down to your neck and shoulders, then to your arms and hands. Check each area of tension. Then move down to your chest and abdomen, your back. Then your pelvic area and buttocks. Your thighs and knees, calves and feet.Go back to any areas of tension. Continue to focus on each inhalation and exhalation as your breath, allowing the tense areas of your body to relax, one by one. Each time you release your breath, release the tension right along with it. Name each area and as you release the tension from that area say to yourself: My (body part) is feeling very relaxed.Now focus your attention inward. Notice any forms, colours and shapes dancing before your mind’s eye; using as little though as possible, select a colour, form or feeling from your inner vision as a starting point for your mandala. If nothing appears to you, that is o.k.

3. When you are ready, open your eyes and look at the colours before you. Guided by your inner vision or simply in response to the colours, choose a colour to begin your mandala. You may feel as if the colour has chosen you.

4. Draw a circle using your plate as a template. Continuing to use as little thought as possible, begin to fill in your circle with colour and form. It is usually easiest to begin either at the centre of your mandala, working outward, or begin at the edges, working inward. If you feel moved to draw beyond the borders of your circle, feel free to do so.

5. A mandala usually takes 5 – 20 minutes to make. Create your mandala at the pace that feels right to you.

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Steps for Interpreting Your Mandala 1. T urn and look at your mandala from all angles – what feels like up - like the top? Put a T at the top.

2. S ign and date your mandala anywhere on your paper. If you make more than one mandala in a day number each mandala in the order made.

3. Name your mandala; try not to over-think the name - go with your first response.

4. A sk yourself: How did I feel when making this mandala? How do I feel when looking at my completed

mandala? What is my mandala trying to tell me that I need to know? How does the name of the mandala relate to the three questions and the answers to those questions?

Only you truly know the meaning behind the colours, shapes and symbols of your mandala; however, doing an on-line search to gain knowledge regarding the universal meanings of specific shapes, symbols and colours can provide much food for thought and thus a deeper level of insight. Some examples of universal meanings include: red as the colour of love, suffering or anger; a bird as a symbol of the process of transformation, flights of thought, or messenger.

By Elizabeth Lewis from https://www.rememberingalife.com/blogs/blog/the-healing-power-of-art-part-4-creating-mandalas

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Life After Life – My Daughter Is Still Alive “All things change; nothing perishes.” Ovid.

My wife Laurie and I met in 1987 after she came to Tasmania from Sydney to work for six months. We married in 1988 and our two daughters, Sian and Chione were born in 1990 and 1992. After eight years living in a small seaside town southeastern Tasmania in 1994, we left to travel overseas for an extended holiday. We spent over three wonderful months together in Cyprus, where my father was born and then returned to Australia. We then lived and worked in Sydney for a year, where our son Andreas was born. And we spent another year living in Mittagong in the Southern Highlands of NSW. In those two years we traveled around NSW a lot. In 1997, we stopped travelling and bought a house in the small town of Hurstbridge, on the rural fringe of Melbourne in Victoria. By then Sian was 7 years old, Chione was 5 and Andreas was 3. In October 1998, just two days before her 6 birthday, while walking home from school with her mother, sister and brother, Chione was hit by a car that left the road. She died the next day in hospital. th

Chione was an extraordinarily unique child, so alive, loving, wise, natural and adventurous. When Chione was around it was impossible to feel down for long, with her smiles, hugs, kisses and words of love, Chione’s radiant glow would always uplift us. She was like a little wild thing in a rush to fit as much in each day as she possibly could. Every day Chione woke early, excited and so full of life and spirit. I’ve never known anyone else with such amazing liveliness.

Some people live to an old age and yet don’t live as much as she did in her short six years of life. Most mornings Chione would wake me up at dawn with her smiley face and cheerful greetings, “Father, father its morning!” But some mornings I’d wake to find her already sitting downstairs reading a book or watching TV, sometimes a nature or a travel or a foreign language show, on how to learn French, Chinese or German. Chione had an incredible thirst and yearning for knowledge, she was intensely interested in everything around her and had an incredible zest for life.

Chione was also a very loving, sensitive and perceptive person. She was always helping out those in need of support, comfort or understanding. Chione was especially drawn to shy, lonely or troubled children. One young friend of hers, a boy in her class whose father had died was often upset. One afternoon when I picked Chione up from school the teacher said she was a bit concerned about Chione. She told me it had been a trying day and that Chione had been the object of some torment and hair pulling by her little boy friend. As we walked to the car I asked Chione if she was okay and still friends with this boy. Chione just said in a calm way, “Sure, I still love him”. She had this natural warmth and affinity with people and felt love towards everybody she met.

Without crushing her beautiful and generous spirit, I had to 24 TCFV Autumn 2025

tell her sometimes not to trust everyone, that not everybody had her kind and caring nature. I felt terrible, but there are some bad people in the world and I was concerned for her safety. After she died, so many people told me stories or wrote to us about some incidents I didn’t know about, the things she had done at school to help other children in need. One woman wrote a card and in it she said that her daughter was new to the school and had no friends. On her first day at the school her daughter was sitting alone on a chair in the playground, when another girl come up to her daughter and befriended her. The girl then took her daughter to play with a group of other girls and her daughter felt so welcome and happy. That girl was Chione.

I always instinctively worried about Chione. It was a really awful feeling to live with. I don’t know why, I just had this feeling about her, an intuition that kept nagging at me that she was at risk and I had to be particularly watchful of her.

One time while we were in Cyprus we stopped somewhere to sightsee at a small village. I parked beside the road and Laurie and I got out of the car. I opened the back driver’s side door and took Sian out, while Laurie opened the back passenger side door and took Chione out. I then walked around the front of the car with Sian. When we got to the other side of the car, Laurie was leaning into the car to get her bag. Chione was nowhere in sight. I ran around to the back of the car and found her walking there and picked her up. This event shook me. After that wherever we went I kept a very close eye on her and didn’t let her out of my sight.

Not long after moving to Hurstbridge, I was walking home with the children and Chione was as usual the fastest walker and out in front leading us along. Andreas was young and so our walking speed was slow. As we went on and got closer to home Chione quickened her pace and got further ahead of us. As the gap widened between us I got more anxious as she passed driveways and cars came along the road. I picked up Andreas and carried him so we could catch up to Chione. As we went I yelled at her to stop and wait for us. Eventually she heard me and stood still and waited for us. I was upset and cross with Chione and told her not to get so far ahead of us next time. I was very distraught about the incident and clearly remember feeling I’d gotten too distressed about what was such a slight thing really and wondering why I did. It was extremely rare for either of us to be annoyed or angry with each other.

We often walked to and from school, mostly on pathways through parkland of native bush. But one part of the walk worried me a lot. It was along a section of road, with a steep embankment on one side, leaving only a very narrow area between it and the road to walk. It meant that cars coming along the road there passed very close to pedestrians. I recall feeling incredibly uneasy the first time I walked along that section of road with the children. I got the children to

walk behind me, single file. I held Andreas’ hand, while Chione and Sian walked behind him. I clearly remember looking back at the girls and feeling a shudder go through my body as I looked at Chione. I had a really bad feeling about that place. My awful feelings persisted and so I wrote to the council requesting a proper pathway be built there. I also wrote letters to the local newspapers about improving the situation. Quite a few people who saw these letters spoke to me about it and expressed their support. And a couple of older women told me that they had in the past also complained about this spot and tried to have it made safer.

Saturday was a fine, sunny day. For some reason I got the camera and told the children I wanted to take some photographs of them together in the garden. That day I took lots of photos of the children, using up all the film I had in the camera. After we finished we walked towards the house, as we were going in the door, Andreas fell over and hit his head on the side of the door. I bent over and picked him up, he was crying and upset, but only very slightly hurt. As I hugged him I looked at Chione and thoughts went through my mind, I remember thinking, “No it’s you who’s in real danger of getting hurt.” It seemed a silly thing to think at the time, but I obviously had a bad feeling, an unconscious premonition and fear that something was going to happen to Chione.

After awhile I started to get fearful about leaving her, that something would happen while I wasn’t there. So after a while, when I had to go somewhere I started to tell Chione before I’d leave, that while I’m away she had to be careful and look after herself, because I didn’t think I could survive if anything ever happened to her.

The children and I often go for walks in the remnant bushland opposite our house. But this particular day, (it was Sunday 11th, October) Sian was busy doing something and Andreas had a cold, so just Chione and I went for a walk. As we wandered around we chatted about all sorts of things.

She said how much she loved me and how glad she was to have me as her father. Then we stopped to rest on a large fallen tree, a favourite spot of Chione’s to sit on and climb on. While we were there she told me I was the best father in the world and thanked me for teaching her so much about nature, wildlife and the world. We picked some flowers and Chione looked at me and said, “Mother Nature looks after our world and so we must look after Mother Nature.” She was a very happy child, but was also very thoughtful and concerned about the state of the world. I remember thinking about the wisdom she imparted, this little sage at such a young age.

At this time I was working for a company in South Yarra in the evenings that raised money for charities in Victoria. It took about two hours to travel there so I left for work before the girls came home from school. And they were asleep by the time I got home. I wasn’t happy with this situation and Chione especially missed me a lot and kept asking me to

quit this job. I was taking a week off work while Laurie’s mother was coming to visit from Sydney. But, as well, I had decided to leave the job and was going to give my notice on this last day before my break.

Tuesday, 13 October 1998, was a cloudy overcast day. As it got closer to the time I needed to leave for work I stated to feel quite anxious. I kept coming up with reasons not to go to work. I told Laurie that I thought it was going to rain and so I should stay home and pick the girls up so they didn’t have to walk home. Then I stated that Andreas should stay inside and not go out, as he wasn’t feeling well. And later on I said I’d ring work and tell them I couldn’t get in and give my notice over the phone. Laurie told me they would be fine walking home and as it was my last day I should go and say goodbye to my workmates. Eventually, I stopped making excuses as to why I shouldn’t go to work and went off to catch the train.

TH

Not long after I got to work, I received a phone call from Laurie to tell me there had been an accident and that Chione was in the hospital. A friend at work rang a taxi for me and I went to the hospital. When I got to the ward where Chione was being cared for, nurses were taking her for some further tests. As they wheeled her along the corridor on a bed with tubes in her mouth, I held her hand and walked by her side talking to her. I told her over and over how much I loved her, and Chione opened her eyes. When she looked at me with those sparking blue eyes, I knew she could hear me and understand what I was saying to her.

Steven Katsineris Bereaved Father of Chione (6) To be continued in the WINTER edition of Compassionate Connections

TCFV Autumn 2025 25

Grieving the Aboriginal way* During Sorry and Funeral Time Family will go through some traditions during the funeral and sorry time. These traditions are done to make sure that the person’s spirit is shown respect and can find peace. It is not unusual for the spirit of the deceased person to ‘visit’ many Aboriginal people. This is very much a part of culture, and you should not be scared. Sometimes, your loved one may just want to let you know that they are okay or want to ‘watch over you’. You might feel a ‘bit shame’ or even frightened about this, and may not want to tell anyone, but this is a very common thing for many Aboriginal people to experience.

After the Funeral and Sorry Time is Over This is the hardest time, and you will probably feel very sad because everyone will leave and go back home, or you will have to go back to your home. Make sure that you have people around you and can talk when you need to. You should keep talking about your loved one and especially the good memories you have. Don’t be afraid to talk about your loved one, it is very important not to forget them. Remember, everyone else is probably feeling the same way, and it also helps them to be able to talk. How Long Will I Grieve For My Loved One? You will always feel a sense of loss when you lose someone you love. In time you will think about it less often, and probably be able to have good memories of the person you have lost, instead of just remembering their death.

Remember, that everyone grieves in their own way, and take different amounts of time to come to terms with their loss. Don’t let anyone tell you how long you should be sad for. Listen to your heart, and you will know when your grief is getting better.

What Sort of Things Tell Me I’m Not Coping Feeling numb, shocked, sad, angry, guilty are all normal. But if you are feeling all of these things for a longer time than your other relations, or friends of your loved one, you may not be coping well with our loss.

You might find that your friends or relations seem to be getting on with their lives and you are not.

You might still believe that your loved one is not really dead and will come back to you.

You might start wanting to be alone more and feel like “no-one understands you”.

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You might blame yourself somehow, for the death of your loved one. Sometimes people look to find reasons for a person’s death. If it is believed that someone is to blame, they may be ‘paid back’ for the wrongdoing. If you feel that this is happening to you, then you need to talk with one of your elders about this. An Aboriginal Health Worker, or someone strong in your community will be able to help you with this as well.

You might also start drinking on a bit more than usual. Some people might also use other drugs, thinking it might help them to cope with the pain.

Other people start picking arguments with their friends and relations for no reasons. You might get moody and snap at people for no reason.

You may have bad dreams; find it hard to sleep or keep seeing the dead person’s spirit. If this makes you feel scared or upset, then this is also not good. * Extract from Sudden_Loss_Grieving_the_Aboriginal_Way_fact_sheet_DoHTasmania.pdf Used with kind permission of Dr Westerman.

Image: https://pathology.health.nsw.gov.au/articles/using-art-to-connect-sorry-business-with-healing-at-forensic-medicine/

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OPINION

After my brother’s funeral, grief hijacked my nervous system I was 32 when my older brother Sam died by suicide. To call him that, a brother, feels inadequate. As kids, we were by each other’s side when our youngest brother Luke died of SIDS at eight weeks old, and as adults, we travelled overseas together, lived in share houses, and socialised in the same circles.

Sam was my safe space, my cheerleader and my best friend. When he died, I was crushed.

Emotionally, I felt life’s founda-tions collapse from underneath me. I experienced a sense of profound shock and felt unteth-ered, like I didn’t know what, or where, home was any more.

For weeks, I couldn’t eat, suf-fered severe insomnia and was crippled by persistent and de-bilitating stomach cramps. In the months following, I would swing up to the highs of anxi-ety, hypervigilance and lie awake for hours at night. I also found myself collapsed and exhausted, unable to muster the energy to face basic life admin, make decisions, or handle conversations with family and friends.

When Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler published On Grief and Grieving in 2005, they took great pains to explain that we shouldn’t think of grief as a linear process. Yet despite this, the pair say they still regularly receive feedback from readers who, feeling misled by the book’s message as they bounced between stages, try to make sense of their new reality.

It’s no surprise we try to paint-by-numbers our way through grief. Despite how much more we know about it, we still struggle to support those going through it. Society pushes us to process our feel-ings in a singular way, with a checklist and timetable for recovery.

Through my physiotherapy training, and following Sam’s death, I now recognise the symptoms I experienced were signs that my nervous system was in a state of dysregulation. Some of the common symptoms of grief are insomnia, headaches, anxiety, tension, and fatigue. But losing some-body can also impact cardiovascular function, disrupt hormone levels, sleep rhythms, and im-mune processes.

This isn’t surprising given that when reality begins to hit and we realise the person is no longer available, the changes to our brain’s neurochemistry see our nervous system shift from connection to protection. The absence of this loved one liter-ally threatens our security on a primal level.

When we fall in love, be it ro-mantically or platonically, our brains rewire from “you and me” to a “we”. So when that loved one is no longer there, our brains are unsure of what to do - the “we” has a hole in it. For some people, this experience can be temporary, but in other people, it has the power to alter our brain chemistry and realign our nervous system indefinitely.

Following a death, people of-ten go into a textbook fight or flight response, where our sym-pathetic nervous system is acti-vated, and the body tries to mo-bilise energy in response to overwhelming pain. If you’ve ever seen someone taking over funeral planning or clearing out closets immediately after the service, it’s likely they are in a dysregulated state of fight or flight.

Conversely, a dysregulated nervous system can lead to im-mobilisation, shutdown or freeze.

Anyone withdrawing from life, or battling feelings of extreme exhaustion following the death of a loved one, is likely experiencing this, known as dorsal vagal shutdown.

These are all natural re-sponses to the shock of grief. However, if the grief isn’t ade-quately processed, our nervous system can become stuck and recalibrate towards chronic hy-perarousal (too much activa-tion) or hypo-arousal (too little).

The thousands of stories I’ve heard from clients who have lost children, family members and other loved ones makes me believe we need a new model for grief care - one that enables us to move through the experience in an embodied and whole-hearted way. Because while we’re all going to lose someone at some point, it’s only when we experience it for ourselves that we understand how momentous it is. Until then, grief is some-thing that happens to other people.

After losing both of my brothers, and working within nervous system regulation, this knowledge didn’t make the grieving process any easier.

However, I do know that if soci-ety as a whole and the immedi-ate communities around us can better understand grief, we can access a blueprint to prepare for, and navigate more gently, one of the most difficult, and common, experiences we will ever face.

Jessica Maguire is a former physiotherapist and the author of The Nervous System Reset.

Lifeline 13 11 14

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LIBRARY NEWS When words are not enough There can be so many ways to acknowledge, express and share our mourning journey and our love for family members who have died. We can have their ashes made into jewellery, we can set up a foundation, design and grow a garden, donate to a specific not-for-profit, add a plaque to park bench, establish a scholarship, write a book, compile a music playlist, write poetry, get a tattoo and so much more.

If you’d like some suggestions and examples of what others have done, this book might be helpful. There are short chapters on activities like woodworking, photography, cold-water swimming, bookmaking, collage, song-writing and film-making. Interspersed through the book are breakout boxes on subjects like trauma, relationships, the physical affects and the language of grief.

This book is now available to borrow from the TCFV library.

Joanna Durst Remembering Zoë

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The Compassionate Friends Victoria is part of a worldwide organisation, which was founded in England in 1969 and established in Victoria in 1978. It is a mutual assistance, self-help organisation offering friendship and understanding to families following the death of a child, sibling, or grandchild of any age and from any cause.

The primary purpose is to assist them in the rebuilding of their lives after the death of their child, sibling, or grandchild and to support their efforts to achieve emotional and mental health.

TCFV Staff CEO: Alex Hamilton Operations Manager: Andrew McNess Community Education & Communications Coordinator: Jane Moschetti Services and Operations Support Coordinator: Hope Sneddon Volunteer Support and Engagement Coordinator: Natasha (Nat) Ballingall Sibling Coordinator: Jude Chrisan IT: Jesse Bendel

Board President: Kevin Purvis Vice President: Amanda Bond Secretary: Claire Kuhnell Board Member: Bruce Houghton Board Member: Sonia Aberl Board Member: Ann Smith Regional Member: Robyn Reeve The Compassionate Friends Victoria Patron: Rhonda Galbally AC Photo taken by TCFV Member and Volunteer Joanna Durst

24-hour grief support – available on 03 9888 4944 / 1300 064 068 Bereaved drop-in Centre, Hours 9.30am – 4.30pm Monday to Friday Disclaimer: Unless expressly stated, the views expressed in articles, poetry etc. in this magazine are not necessarily the views of TCFV Board, Staff or the editorial team. The editor reserves the right to edit any contribution. Permission is given to Editors & Chapter Leaders of The Compassionate Friends to reprint material from the magazine. We request that credit be given to the author & their TCF Chapter.

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TCFV SUPPORT GROUPS & SOCIAL SUPPORT GROUPS Note 1: Unless stated otherwise all groups are open to bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents – 18 years and above – who are bereaved through any means.

Note 2: Sometimes, group meeting details need to be updated between when the magazine goes to print and when it is delivered to your letterbox or Inbox. For the most up-to-date listing of meetings, please visit: www.tcfv.org.au Support Group Meetings provide bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents (18+ years) the opportunity to meet in a safe environment with others who have “been there”, who understand and care. Group attendees report that meetings are an essential part of their “learning to live again” journey.

Social Support Group Meetings are similarly led by group leaders. They are a lovely social opportunity for bereaved people, often held at a cafe. Discussion is more general, although can sometimes centre on grief-related issues. If you are needing more substantial time to explore your grief-related issues (and this can particularly be the case when you’re newer in your grief), we recommend a formal support group.

A minority of groups require registration to attend.

Please notify our telephone support-line of your intention to attend the next meeting of one of the following groups: Hawthorn East Social Group / Box Hill Social Group / Canterbury Evening Support Group Please register to attend an upcoming session of one of these groups: Culture Club / Walking Through Grief / Express Yourself Through Art at TCFV CENTRE / Online Support Group / Online Support for Regional Suicide -Bereaved / Online Express Yourself Through Art.

I’m new to meetings. Should I speak with the leader/s first before attending a meeting?

We highly recommend you speak with the group leader prior to your first meeting at any TCFV group. Call TCFV on 9888 4944 (Melbourne)/1300 064 068 (regional) and we can help arrange a chat. Speaking with the leader is a valuable introduction to the group and what it can offer you in your grief journey.

I have baby-sitting problems. Would it be alright to bring my child with me?

While we understand the difficulties of finding childcare, we must ask that out of respect for the needs of others, you do not bring children (under 18 years of age) to meetings.

Someone in my household has COVID-19, but I don’t. Can I still attend a meeting?

Meetings, by design, have people sitting in close proximity to one another. If someone in your household has COVID-19, we would prefer that you not attend a face-to-face meeting in that month. Please be aware that, in its place, you could have a one-on-one peer support session (see: www.tcfv.org.au/one-on-one) and/or attend an online support group (for upcoming sessions visit www.tcfv.org.au/events).

Bereavement support for under-18s.

While TCFV’s services are for individuals 18 years and above, there are a number of other organisations that provide under-18 services, such as Grief Australia, Headspace and Jesuit Social Services. A listing of these services can be found at: www.tcfv.org.au/under-18s

REGIONAL CONTACTS

We have TCFV volunteers in the townships / regional cities listed below who have some availability for a peer support phone chat or coffee catch-up: Bairnsdale - Elvie Camperdown - Judi Horsham - Ronda Wodonga - Lynne

Ballarat - Robyn Castlemaine -Matthew Melton - Deb

Please enquire on 1300 064 068

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SUPPORT GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Bayside

4th Wednesday 7pm-9pm (Jan-Nov)

Highett Neighbourhood Community House, 2 Livingston St, Highett

Bendigo

4th Tuesday 1:30pm (Jan-Nov)

Long Gully Community Centre, 23-29 Havilah Rd, Long Gully

Canterbury Daytime

4 Wednesday 11am (3 Wed in Dec)

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Canterbury Evening

2 Tuesday 7:30pm (Feb-Dec) Registration required: call 03 9888 4944

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Canterbury Siblings

3rd Tuesday 7.45pm

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Canterbury Suicide-bereaved

4 Monday 7:30pm (Jan-Nov)

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Eltham

1st Thursday 11am (Feb-Dec)

Eltham Library Community Room, Panther Place, Eltham

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Geelong

Last Tuesday 7:30pm (Jan-Nov)

Zone/4 Nicol Dr South, Waurn Ponds

Menspace

3rd Wednesday 7pm-9pm (Feb-Dec)

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Mildura

2nd Saturday 11am (Feb-Dec)

MADEC Community College, 133-137 Madden Ave, Mildura

Portland

3rd Tuesday 7pm (Feb-Dec)

Star Theatre, 40 Julia St, Portland

Rowville

1 Friday 1pm (Feb-Dec)

Bridgewater Centre, cnr Fulham Rd & Bridgewater Rd, Rowville

Somerville Bereaved Parents Group

*Run by ProjexJ (projexj.org), with support from TCFV 4th Thursday 10am-1pm. (Jan-Nov)

Somerville Community House, 2/21Worwong Avenue, Somerville

3rd Tuesday 7pm (Feb-Dec)

Salvation Army Drop-In Centre, 42 Devonshire Rd, Sunshine

Sunshine Bereaved Through Suicide

1st Tuesday 7pm (Feb-Dec)

Salvation Army Drop-In Centre, 42 Devonshire Rd, Sunshine

Warrnambool

1st Wednesday 7:15pm (Feb-Dec)

Archie Graham Community Centre, Room CP1, 118 Timor St, Warrnambool

ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Regional Suicide-bereaved

3rd Thursday bimonthly 7pm (Feb, Apr, Jun, Aug, Oct, Dec) Registration required: www.tcfv.org.au/events

Held via Zoom.

Bereavement Support Group (Bereaved through any means)

1st Tuesday monthly 7:30pm (Feb-Dec) Registration required: www.tcfv.org.au/events

Held via Zoom.

SOCIAL GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Box Hill

2 Thursday 7pm (Jan-Nov) Bookings are essential. Please call 03 9888 4944.

Box Hill RSL, 26-28 Nelson Rd, Box Hill

Geelong

2nd Tuesday 10am (Feb- Dec)

Brioche Café, 175 West Fyans St, Newtown

Hawthorn East

4 Tuesday 7pm (Feb-Nov) Bookings are essential. Please call 03 9888 4944.

Café Paradiso, 213-215 Camberwell Rd, Hawthorn East

Southern Peninsula

1st Tuesday 12 noon (Feb-Dec)

Contact 1300 064 068 for details

ART THERAPY GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Express Yourself Through Art at TCFV Centre

3 Monday of the month 7:30pm (Feb-Dec) Registration required: www.tcfv.org.au/events

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

Online Express Yourself Through Art

1st Thursday of the month at 1.30pm (Feb-Nov) To register, please visit: www.tcfv.org.au/events

Held via Zoom.

LIGHT EXERCISE GROUP

Which day in the month is the event held?

Where is meeting held?

Walking Through Grief

1st Friday 9am-10am (Feb-Dec) Registration required: www.tcfv.org.au/events

TCFV Centre, 229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury

READING GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Culture Club

A Saturday morning, bimonthly in 2025: Feb, Apr, Jun, Aug, Oct Registration required: www.tcfv.org.au/events

Four Beans Café, 22 High St, Northcote

INTERSTATE GROUP

Which day in the month is the meeting held?

Where is meeting held?

Darwin

Last Wednesday 7pm (Jan-Nov) Contact Group Leader (Ingrid) on 1300 064 068 or darwin@tcfv.org.au

MLA Office (Member for Legislative Assembly), Shop 15A, Oasis Shopping Centre, 15 Temple Terrace, Palmerston, NT, 0830.

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Sunshine

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Please note: Bereavement Peer Support in Hobart

Bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents in Hobart meet informally at a café setting on a regular basis (often a weekend afternoon).

For more information on this non-TCFV support network, including dates and times, please contact our telephone support line on 1300-064-068.

TCFV Autumn 2025 33

34 TCFV Autumn 2025

COMMUNITY NOTICE BOARD Honour the life of a loved one with a lasting legacy of generosity.

Lord Mayor’s Charitable Foundation, Australia’s largest community foundation can help you ensure that they are remembered through a permanent legacy of giving to others.

A named Memorial Charitable Fund will create lasting change for generations to come without any administrative burden.

To begin a discusson on we may assist contact the philanthropy team on 03 9633 0033 philanthropy@lmcf.org.au

lmcf.org.au

Your Funeral. Your Way. No one knows you like you. So when it comes to your funeral, it makes sense to pre-plan so you can get every detail just the way you want it.

Pre-planning your funeral gives you the opportunity to pay in advance. With payment plans of up to three years and no hidden costs, your loved ones won’t be left to pay the bill*. And with all your funeral costs locked in at today’s prices, you and your family can rest easy knowing you’ll be protected from future inflation.

Get started today.

Call Bronwyn, your local Guardian Plan consultant on 0407 460 526 or visit guardianplan.com.au to download your free funeral planner.

The way to go.

Guardian Plan is a funeral bond issued by the Over Fifty Guardian Friendly Society Limited (the Society) ABN 81 087 649 063 AFSL 524353. *Custom preplanned funerals can be paid in interest-free instalments or upfront. A deposit of 30% is required and balance can be paid by monthly payments over a period up to 3 years. Monthly payment instalments are not available for packages. Therefore, full payment is required at the time of arrangement.

guardianplan.com.au

TCFV Autumn 2025 35

Thank you Supporters Agnes Tan

Karen Philippzig

Avery Poole

Kidsafe Victoria

Bendigo Community Bank – Inner East (Ashburton, Balwyn, Canterbury, Surrey Hills)

Le Pine Funerals

Bradley Family

Life Time Trophies Lord Mayor’s Charitable Foundation

Bryn Humphreys

Louisa Ong

Bunnings Box Hill

Marken Hosting

Bendel Family Brunswick United Masonic Lodge

Michael & Maureen Cawley Mindfull Aus

Charles Tegner

Nunan Family

Cheryl Lardner

Pam & Max Williams

City of Boroondara

PivotLife

Coates Family

Robyn Arya

Country Women’s Association of Victoria

Shelia Schutz

Dorothy Ford

Sim Family

Eastern Press Emily’s Wish Foundation Geelong Cemeteries Trust

SM Creative State Government of Victoria Strickland Family

Guardian Plan

Sue Binzer

Harmer Family

The Pethard Tarax Charitable Trust

Ian Zadow

Tobin Brothers

Jared Dunscombe Foundation

Trembath Family

Jennifer O’Reilly

Tripleconnect

John Brown

Yarra Ranges Council

Judith Theobald

Yvonne Sharpe

Justice Connect

Wall, Theresa, Shane & Family

TCF AUSTRALIA

National Number 1300 064 068 ACT & Queanbeyan New South Wales Queensland South Australia Darwin TCF Mandurah

0494 149 866 02 9290 2355 07 3540 9949 0456 820 133 darwin@tcfv.org.au 08 9535 7761

Suite 602, 109 Pitt Street, Sydney, NSW 2000 505 Bowen Terrace, New Farm 4005 Mandurah Lottery House - 7 Anzac Place, Mandurah 6210

TCF on the internet - United Kingdom www.tcf.org.uk – New Zealand (email) tcf.otago@xtra.co.nz USA www.compassionatefriends.org – SA www.compassionatefriends.co.za – Canada www.tcfcanada.net/

The Compassionate Friends Victoria

229 Canterbury Road, Canterbury VIC 3126 PO Box 171 Canterbury, Vic. 3126 Support Phone: (03) 9888 4944 Administration Phone: (03) 9888 4034 Email: support@tcfv.org.au Web: www.tcfv.org.au