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Table of Contents

Editorial For the past year we have been working on a magazine for PHC’s pupils. The group has consisted primarily of Verity Bruce, Nicky Byrom Rachel Bruce and Georgia Castro. The team was headed by Dr Faulkes.

Table of Contents Editorial......................................................................................................2 Poetry.....................................................................................................3

We wanted to make a magazine that focused more on what the individual students have accomplished and less on what the school has accomplished.

Reviews..............................................................................................6 Stories and Creative Essays......................................................................10 Oscar Wilde Talk...................................................................................16

We had some difficulties while producing the magazine. For one, it was very difficult to get things in from everyone and our numbers have considerably reduced since our first meeting; we are now down to three. However, despite these problems we have managed to piece together a magazine for the pupils of the school.

Fashion Show...................................................................................22 Public Speaking……………………………………………………..25 Quotes…………………………………………………………………………………………………..40

We think that the magazine has come together well, and we are all proud of our achievement. The time we spent on it was fun and we are definitely looking forward to the next issue. So here is the first issue of the school magazine. Take that Frances. Rachel Bruce, Verity Bruce, Nicky Byrom

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Poetry Zombie Apocalypse Two classrooms, quite alike in atmosphere, Inside the building where I write this rhyme. And now you know the apocalypse is near, Where it will be last hour of our lives. Beware of what’s to come or doom shall begin.

Faces of the Sea

You must always be sure to watch your back.

I look upon the wrinkled blue,

They will not protect, but yet they will shun.

Her calm waves lapping,

Tis not over, it’s time for the attack.

Against the golden smooth sand.

It had now started, we will be parted.

Up above, a great burning ball of fire,

All the shouts and screams will forever be.

Sends its rays to glisten,

This is not easy for the faint hearted.

On the vast indigo expanse.

No one is safe, no one to protect me.

Overhead seagulls circle,

So till next day we will remember the:

The clear blue sky;

The ones who fought deathly, smelly Zombie.

The world seems so still and peaceful.

By Courtney Adderly, Year 10

Suddenly from above there is a mighty roar,

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Clouds close in,

Reviews

The sky becomes dark,

By Georgia Castro, Year 10

The heavens open, Rain falls, Lashing the now angry. Waves crash against the rough rock, Sea birds screech and cry out in fear. Looking out to sea, all that’s in sight, Are the mighty waves, Rising high then crashing down, Into the whirling, stormy sea.

‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’ Movie Review

By Katie Robinson, Year 7

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As a Hobbit and Lord of the Rings fan it is hard for me to fault this movie, but it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t. The film is 3 hours long, which can be off-putting for some people. The film also doesn’t cover much of the events that happen in the book but somehow the film keeps you gripped the whole time so this is why I rated it 4.5 out of 5.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5. Age: PG – 12. ‘The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey’ is the prequel to the famous Lord of the Rings trilogy. The films were originally books written by JRR Tolkien. The Hobbit was released to cinemas on December 12th 2012. The film stars Martin Freeman as the younger Bilbo Baggins, Ian McKellen as Gandalf and Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield. This film is the 1st instalment out of 3 movies to portray Bilbo’s adventure with Gandalf and a group of dwarves. The dwarves had been forced out of their home known as the Lonely Mountain because of a fierce dragon called Smaug. Not only does Smaug take the dwarves’ home but he takes their fortune of gold too.

Overall, I really did enjoy The Hobbit as it was full of action and had occasional humour. I would recommend it to the whole family because of this and, of course, fans of Lord of The Rings. The sequel to The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is due to be released this year on December 13 and the 3rd film There and Back again is estimated to be due July 18 2014.

‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’ Book Review

Bilbo Baggins is a hobbit that lives in The Shire. At the start he is a very respectable and polite hobbit with a clean reputation that he cares about dearly. When he is asked by Gandalf to go on an adventure he quickly declines because of his reputation. Shortly after this a party of dwarves unexpectedly make themselves at home in Bilbo’s hobbit hole and, after some indecisiveness, he accepts the offer. As the film progresses, Bilbo’s character changes and he becomes more courageous and brave. 5


back to certain parts of the story and rereading the epilogue until I caught on, so these are the reasons why I gave it 3.5 out of 5. Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Overall I enjoyed reading it. Despite the slow parts and rereading certain pages, Charlie’s character, perspective and quotes kept me hooked as well as his story. He is a really relatable character that you can sympathise with and the way the book was written was refreshing compared to how books are normally written. I would recommend it to teenagers that feel down and need someone to relate to because Charlie can put a smile on your face as he did mine.

Age: 15+ ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’ was published on February 1st 1999 and was written by Stephen Chbosky. It is centred on the life of a teenager who goes by the name of Charlie. The way it is written is quite different to most books. Instead of being written in the present tense through Charlie’s eyes, his life is shown through letters that he writes to an anonymous person. It is based in the 1990’s during Charlie’s freshman years at high school in Pittsburgh. During his story we meet two other characters – a boy called Patrick and a girl called Sam that Charlie eventually falls in love with, although she is much older than him. They are not necessarily a good influence on Charlie in my eyes, but they appear to be the only people who understand Charlie and accept him for who he is. The only bad things I could say about the book is that, at times, the story can really slow down and seem that it is not progressing, but the quotes and Charlie’s perspective of things keep you hooked throughout the book. Also at the epilogue, there is a massive twist, but it is quite hard to pick up if you don’t have a good memory. I found myself reading 6


Megan looked smugly up at him when she read the title. "That Dad's book and yes it hit the mud." Charlie was Megan's nine year old brother. He found Megan's constant reading embarrassing and annoying, so he was always trying to ruin Megan's books. Charlie's all time goal was to get hold of Portal. It was Megan's favourite and most precious book. She kept her room locked to keep it out of Charlie's hands. Everyone said her Mum had perished in the fire two years before, but the body was never found and Megan hoped against hope that she had managed to escape. She wasn't allowed to talk about it though. Two years ago on the night of the accident, Lydia, Megan's mum was in the house by herself. Nobody knew what happened, but all that was left was the shell of a smouldering house and Portal; an amazing book full of mystery that Lydia used to read to Megan.

Stories and Creative Essays

Forgetting to lock her door, Megan went outside to retrieve her Dad's book. She smelt smoke and was immediately drawn to the memory of her mother. As her heartbeat quickened she heard her Dad and looked up to see he was tending a bonfire. He had tortured himself over Lydia's disappearance. He thought she had run away and set the house on fire to cover her tracks. He didn't admit it to the children and would tell Megan off all every time she showed any signs of hope. She often shut herself to others so no one could demolish her hope.

Portal ‘Thud’ went a book flying out the window. "DAD!" Megan shouted, "Charlie threw my book out of the window!" Megan was a fourteen year old girl. A book worm that could read anything, anyplace, anytime. Charlie leaned out the window. "Did it hit the mud?"

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As Megan watched the smoke, she became less aware of her surroundings until, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Charlie sprinting up to the fire holding Portal. "Charlie, give it back!" Megan screamed. "GIVE!" Charlie held the book over the fire. "I will drop the book if you don't admit that Mum died in the fire." Charlie hated Megan's desperate hope that their mother might still be alive. He just wanted them all to move on: but Megan couldn't. Megan knew Charlie would never drop the book, but she pretended to look all scared. Megan caught Charlie off guard and attempted to grab the book back, but he dropped the book right into the heart of the fire. Charlie sprinted for the house; he knew he was in big trouble. As the book landed in the fire it opened onto the middle page. Then something extraordinary happened. Rather than burning, the book put out the fire. A hole in the air appeared and a place emerged that Megan had never seen before. There inside the book, standing in the clearing, was her Mum.

A Perfect World A perfect world should have happy people who love themselves for who they really are and not who they pretend to be.

The book snapped shut and as it did, her mother disappeared...

A Perfect World should also have people who would like to have the Planet as a tidy place so that it would a more comfortable and make the Earth more picturesque.

By Lucy Benthall, Year 7

I think that A Perfect World should have good schools and a place to make loads of friends so that you would never get lonely, and A Perfect World should have houses so that lots of 8


people can be happy in and they really it really feels like home. It is not about how much money you have got or if you have a better job it is about being happy with who you are and what you have got. It is also making yourself who you really are and achieving the best you can. It is also being about being true to yourself. Life would be so much happier if everyone could treat people with RESPECT and treat people how you would like to be treated. By Chloe Hubbocks, Year 7

Is a Perfect world Possible? Possibility and impossibility, I think, depend on our definitions of perfection. What it is to have a perfect world? Some people would even think that the world is already perfect. It is the way it is. It is just how we perceive it that makes the difference. I have even heard of "eight worldly conditions" or "eight vicissitudes of life." They are gain and loss, fame and defame, blame and praise and happiness and sadness. Perfection, in relation to these, involves not being agitated by them. That is having a balanced emotional life. 9


Still another view of the world is that it comprises of the six senses, their respective sense objects, and their respective consciousnesses. The six senses are eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, and mind. Eye has visible object as its sense object...mind has mental phenomena as its sense object. There is eye-consciousness, ear-consciousness and so on. This is a cognitive view of the world and a perfect world, according to this, involves a total cognitive transformation. If we are cognitive beings, then to change the world is to change our perception of the world. How we perceive it is significant.

Oscar Wilde Talk “There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” When Mr Miller asked me to give a talk about Oscar Wilde, I was absolutely thrilled! The thought of a whole room of people listening to me speaking about one of my greatest passions was extremely exciting, if not a tiny bit terrifying! For once I’ve actually been asked to talk about Oscar Wilde, instead of forcing people – usually my rather unfortunate friends and family – to listen to me go on and on. If given the chance, I would happily prattle on for hours on end. Thankfully for all of you, I’ve been restricted to a comparatively much shorter time limit.

Based on these, questions arise: What really is change? What really is perfection? Why do we have war, poverty, hostile interpersonal relationships, and so on? In creating peace, what are we actually doing? Is there such a thing called peace? What about poverty? Is it also something substantial or is it just socially created, created by human mind, by our restrictions, our greed, etc? Why should two people fight? Is it because the world is such that these people should necessarily fight?

So I should probably start off properly by answering the question some of you must be thinking: “Who is Oscar Wilde?” Apart from being the absolute love of my life, Oscar Wilde was an Irish playwright, author and poet, as well as man about town during the late 19th Century. His biting wit made him a household name and his plays would draw in hundreds of people. Even the Prince of Wales, who would later become King Edward VII, said: “I do not know Mr Wilde, and not to know Mr Wilde is not to be known”. Oscar Wilde is probably best known for his play “The Importance of Being Earnest”; his first and only novel “The Picture of Dorian Gray”; and

No matter what or how the world is, it is what we are living in. If I wanted to, I can smile at a stranger on the street or punch him on the head. It is how we perceive and live that makes the world perfect and imperfect. Real change should come from within! By Grace Lee, Year 10 10


perhaps most especially for being at the heart of one of the court cases of the century, that not only shocked Victorian England but led to his tragic downfall. But that’s for the later.

“If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.” Oscar had been introduced to a young woman named Constance Lloyd. Three years later, in 1884, Oscar proposed and they were married 29th May 1884. Together they had two sons named Cyril and Vyvyan. Unfortunately Cyril died in World War 1, but Vyvyan went on to have a son of his own called Merlin (there seems to be a family tradition of strange names), who is alive today and has dedicated the last thirty years to studying and researching his grandfather’s life.

I had never read anything as perfect as this before. And I still haven’t. In my eyes his writing cannot be faulted; not a single word was out of place and they all merged together to create a story that has become one of the most famous novels of all time: “The Picture of Dorian Gray”. And as I read more and more, I began to wonder about the author of these stories. Surely a man who wrote such spectacular stories had to lead a similarly sensational life?

“But what is the good of friendship if one cannot say exactly what one means? Anybody can say charming things and try to please and to flatter, but a true friend always says unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain. Indeed, if he is a really true friend he prefers it, for he knows that then he is doing good.”

The answer, as I was soon to find out, was yes. “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” Born in Dublin, 16th October 1854, Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde was the second son of Sir and Lady William Wilde. His father, a serial adulterer, and his mother, a strong feminist and nationalist who wrote poetry under the pen name “Speranza” (Italian for “hope”), both had a strong interest in Irish fairy tales and myths, which explains Oscar’s unusual middle names. A fashion icon from even a young age, Oscar went on to become a major proponent of the aesthetic movement, an art movement emphasising the importance of beauty in literature, music and fine arts.

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Robert Ross entered Oscar’s life as a seventeen year old boy, and was to remain a loyal friend until Oscar’s death. But Robbie wasn’t merely Oscar’s friend; he was the great writer’s first male lover, openly homosexual in a time when it was still illegal, and initiated Oscar into the world that would ultimately lead to his ruin. Despite this, I absolutely adore Robbie for his unswaying devotion to Oscar even after the poet’s death. He was the closest thing Oscar would ever have to a true friend, which was something Oscar desperately needed in the coming years.

aristocratic family Oscar grew particularly close with, and that was the Queensbury family. “A true friend stabs you in the front.” Lord Alfred Douglas, son of John Douglas, the Marquess of Queensbury. What can I say about this man – known as Bosie to his close friends and family – other than how much I hate him? My friends are probably sitting here thinking, “Oh Lord, here she goes again!” Yes, here I go again! Bosie was an undergraduate at Oxford when he first met Oscar, and an affair quickly began between the two of them. Oscar was head over heels for Bosie, and would lavish Bosie, known to be extremely spoiled, with so many expensive gifts that he ended up in severe debt. Bosie, however, never showed any gratitude.

After Oscar’s debut into this new, secret world, he wrote the book that started my obsession with him, “The Picture of Dorian Gray”. Reviewers of the time immediately slated its thinly veiled homosexuality, with The Daily Chronicle calling it “unclean” and “poisonous”. Despite such criticisms, the novel has become an absolute classic today and Dorian Gray is now an iconic character.

But it was Bosie’s father, John Douglas, who would bring about Oscar’s ruin. Douglas, angry at his son’s relationship with Oscar, left a note at Oscar’s hotel in which he called him a “posing sodomite”. With Bosie’s encouragement, but against Robbie’s advice, Oscar took Douglas to court for libel. This was a fatal move. Douglas’ lawyers had gathered strong evidence to support the claim of Oscar’s homosexuality and, in a cruel twist, Oscar himself was arrested and put on trial for gross indecency. At one point in the trial, the poem “Two Loves”, written by Bosie himself, was used as evidence against Oscar, due to its allusion to “the love that dare not speak its name”. Oscar was alone when he was sentenced to

“I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.” In stark contrast to “The Picture of Dorian Gray”, Oscar enjoyed great success with his comedies of manners, such as “Lady Windemere’s Fan” and “A Woman of No Importance”. The popularity of these plays owed a lot to Oscar’s unmatched wit and use of satire to mock the upper classes he spent so much of his social life with. There was, however, one 12


two years’ hard labour. Whilst in prison, he wrote a letter to Bosie entitled “De Profundis”, in which he blamed Bosie for what had happened to him. I’d now like to read an extract that I find particularly moving:

though he was facing death, Oscar still couldn’t hold back the wit that had made him so famous in the first place. Thank you so much to those of you who managed not to fall asleep whilst I babbled on, and if even one of you decides to read an Oscar Wilde piece after this talk I will be a very happy girl!

“When first I was put into prison some people advised me to try and forget who I was. It was ruinous advice. It is only by realising what I am that I have found comfort of any kind. Now I am advised by others to try on my release to forget that I have ever been in a prison at all. I know that would be equally fatal. It would mean that I would always be haunted by an intolerable sense of disgrace, and that those things that are meant for me as much as for anybody else – the beauty of the sun and moon, the pageant of the seasons, the music of daybreak and the silence of great nights, the rain falling through the leaves, or the dew creeping over the grass and making it silver – would all be tainted for me, and lose their healing power, and their power of communicating joy. To regret one's own experiences is to arrest one's own development. To deny one's own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one's own life. It is no less than a denial of the soul.”

By Charlotte Gregory, Year 12

On 30th November 1900, Oscar Wilde died in a dingy hotel in Paris from cerebral meningitis, with his close friend Robbie by his side. His last words were reportedly a declaration that “My Wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has to go.” I love this quote so much, because even

Fashion Show

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Last term some girls took part in a recycled fashion show at St Chris which is held annually. The show was open for any age, from A level to year 7. This year’s theme was fantasy, and it was a lot of fun deciding what to design and make. You could use any material as long as it was recycled or not wanted anymore. The girls then showcased their designs at St Chris along with all the other entries. Overall the project was extremely fun and it was interesting to see everyone’s designs. By Lily Dent, Year 10

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‘The surroundings or conditions in which a person, animal, or plant lives or operates.’

So I think it’s safe to say, whether you are a tree hugging ecowarrior or simply an average citizen, that the environment is important, and the simplest explanation about why the environment matters is that as humans, the environment-the Earth-is our home. It is where we live, breathe, eat, raise our children, etc. Our entire life support system is dependent on the well-being of all of the species living on earth. So our existence is dependent on the environment, and the eco-systems are under threat with issues such as: Global warming, freshwater depletion, biodiversity reduction and holes in the ozone layer. There has been much debate on whether or not these issues are actually our fault or whether they are simply a result of natural evolution. For me the evidence sways more towards the fact that we are guilty of abusing our planet and destroying the environment in which we live. I can back this with two quotes which say: "It has been demonstrated beyond reasonable doubt that the climate is changing due to man-made greenhouse gases” The Met Office, Hadley Centre, UK And … "There is strong evidence that the warming of the Earth over the last half-century has been caused largely by human activity, such as the burning of fossil fuels and changes in land use, including agriculture and deforestation."

Public Speaking Windsor Juniors Good Morning everyone, Louise and I will be talking to you today about the importance of the environment. The concept of the environment is often misconceived as simply trees and fields. This is not true I’m afraid, the real definition of the environment is: 15


The

Those of you, who go to the cinema as often as the PHC boarding house does, may recognize this phrase from an advert against film piracy. It’s a dramatic take on the sad fact, that although we all want to see amazing films, humans are lazy and we don’t want to pay for them – but that’s not how the media works. The media is a business.

Royal Society 2010 Essentially we are driving ourselves into an environmental nightmare. An apocalypse if you will… However many experts believe that we can reverse some of the harm the planet has suffered. The challenge is getting enough people to take drastic enough action so that we can make a difference in our lifetime.

I realized that it’s exactly the same with books. Recently a tsunami of electronic books washed over the world, and now a growing majority of people are stopping buying paper books. Smaller book shops and libraries are closing. On-line resources are struggling with the rocketing competition, balancing prices between making a profit and actually selling something. Schools are slowly switching to the dark side: those who have one can already use iPads, and students know that reading a brick-sized book is much easier on the Internet.

I will now pass you onto Louise who will explain how we can prevent further negative changes to the environment. By Ellie Cornberg, Year 9

It’s time to ask the question: “Books – are they things of the past?” When we received the topic for our speech, we were rather confused. I felt quite heartbroken that anyone could ever think that books can be a thing of the past.

York Seniors

There is a kind of magic in our world which I really-really appreciate: paper books. I’m sure a lot of you have enjoyed these weird, but wonderful things: hearing the cracking of the spine of a newly-bought book, or opening up a dusty volume that your grandmother insisted has changed her life, and

Books – are they things of the past? Imagine: an experience shared… all gone.

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seeing creased pages where the previous owner’s favourite quotes were, and knowing that the book was written in some other century and feeling like you’re time travelling.

Wilde write for money? Did Shakespeare hope to get famous and popular with his touching “Romeo and Juliet”? Of course not – and maybe if all those authors trying to make money through empty letter combinations will stop (and I may or may not be referring to a certain vampire saga…), we will finally be able to find the real gems in the uncertain modern literature!

Reading books, and especially paper books, is truly a shared experience. In a matter of an hour you may feel that you have known the author since forever - a relationship that the modern society craves for but loses through the deepening use of technology in our lives.

People say: there are only limited things words can describe. This is true if you have no imagination – because only books have ever taken us on countless adventures with incredible graphics and action, and possibly only books ever will. George Martin, the creator of a mind-blowing fantasy series, said that “a reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. A man who never reads lives only one”, and that’s where comes everyone’s favourite “Yolo” – even if you do the craziest things, you can never experience the range of emotions and adventures a reader lives through in their life.

And sadly, sooner or later we may find only a few paper copies of the Bible left, or even “Harry Potter” will be gathering dust in museums. But, about e-books: why is there such an uproar, just because modern technology has moved on, giving humans even more comfort? No one protested in the 19th century when books started to be typed instead of being written. Today some people prefer e-books, or find them more convenient – and that is fine. Okay, I’ll let you in on a secret: books are still books. They are not about the font that’s used for certain types of paper. Books are what you take out for yourself, whether you are reading an old story from a newspaper yellow with decay, or downloading a pdf file from a shady website.

Think back to any time you have ever honestly enjoyed a book: even if it was the bed-time story your mum used to read you when you were younger. Do you believe that such an amazing experience can ever become a thing of the past? I know I don’t.

And piracy is a whole other topic, of course. I know for a fact that in Russia you can virtually get any book on the Internet for free, and this is sad. However, think about it: yes, people are afraid that at some point authors will stop writing. But think back to the immortal classics we still know today: did Oscar

By Maria Minchenko, Year 11

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Although small in size, it could be said that the UK punches above its weight, and is certainly considered to be one of the US’s closest allies. The topic of whether the UK should exit the EU has become a controversial one. The main opposition comes down to two points that I am going to talk about today: Firstly is it right that EU law supersedes British law? In addition is it acceptable to have free labour movements between 27 separate states when the UK is suffering a recession.

Windsor Seniors Why Should the UK Exit the EU?

Many would criticise the financial commitment to a central parliament, which will introduce laws seen by many in the UK as being frivolous. Does anyone really care about the ‘abnormal curvature’ of our cucumbers and bananas? Can anyone see the sense in local greengrocers being fined for weighing our fruits and vegetables in pounds and ounces? A topical one of late: a law has been passed that one can eat horsemeat as long as it is not their own pet. Surely central parliament has better things to concern itself with; however it seems intent on clamping down on the most ridiculous things. So why should we allow a bureaucrat in Brussels dictate such nonsense to us.

What exactly is the European Union you may ask? Well according to its official website, the ‘EU is a unique economic and political partnership, between 27 European countries that together cover much of the continent’. Unique it may be, but why have other countries not banded together in the same way if it works so well? There might be a reason; perhaps it doesn’t work in the way we would like to believe? The European Union enables the UK to be a part of the world’s largest single market, an economic zone that is greater than the USA and Japan combined; with a total GDP of £11 trillion. This provides an ideal market for British businesses to trade in, with the absence of custom duties and tariffs. But perhaps the UK is a global trader in its own right? We are a proud, historic nation, which has refused to relinquish its own currency; we have a monarchy as well as a parliament and have been a long-standing member of the G8.

These laws are passed from a utilitarian point of view – although this may be democratic, and forward thinking, perhaps it is not conducive for an organisation containing 27 separate states, with as many different languages, cultures and histories. A law that is beneficial in Italy may not make the 18


slightest impact in Germany. For example 45% of EU spending goes towards the Common Agricultural Policy. France is reportedly delighted with the progress and are benefitting immensely, whilst countries with few if any agricultural sectors are not witnessing these benefits firsthand.

NO-ONE VOTES FOR US IN THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST ANYWAY?!

The leader of UKIP has stated that: It’s about giving £50 million a day to the EU when the public finances are under great strain. Such an astronomical amount of money to be spent on the aforementioned laws when 21% of young people cannot find work perhaps seems excessive. Surely each country has a duty of care towards its own citizens. Therefore perhaps it would make sense for the UK to invest its contribution to the EU in finding work for the young unemployed of this country instead. Without the influx of citizens from other member states, the jobs would be available to British citizens.

Gloucester Seniors

By Lucy Thomas, Year 11

If I ruled the world… I bet you are all thinking that, much like a beauty queen at a beauty pageant, I am going to give the answer to the question of what I would do if I ruled the world; that I would spread peace across the entire world, make the poor richer, and prevent the extinction of gorillas. However, realistically, as a fourteen year old who ruled the world, what I would really like to do is ban school. Also, wouldn’t it be great if we all had a free holiday to Barbados paid for by the Government, before I abolish them. Once I have moved the Queen and her corgis out of Buckingham Palace and into her new one-bedroomed bungalow in Birmingham, I will move into the Palace, and throw a massive party there to which, of course, you will be invited. Funds will be put towards converting PHC into a theme park. Fear not teachers, you will not be out of work, but gainfully employed at the theme park, as ride attendants!

‘United in diversity’ – this is the motto used by the European Union that signifies how Europeans have come together to work for peace, and prosperity, whilst being enriched by the continents many; cultures, traditions and languages. However how diverse can we be, whilst aiming for a centralised system, which enables all member states to be on an equal footing? So do we stay with the EU, or do we break away and once again become an independent state. I will leave you with one last thought…

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Apologies to all of the One Direction fans, but I would banish these excellent “musicians” into outer space, but don’t worry, you won’t be without them, you will be going with them. I also fancy being a billionaire and having no taxes. However, to fund my extravagant lifestyle you will have to start paying more taxes, and all the money will be directed into my Swiss bank account. If anyone disagrees with me I will make sure my private guard will remove the person and quietly dispose of them to an appropriate “camp”. I have not yet decided where this camp will be but Siberia, or Poland seem possible locations. I would also surround myself with people who only agreed with me and followed my views. To ensure that this is the case, it will be important to have a strong army behind me, backed up by an intimidating arsenal of weapons, ideally nuclear. This way, no country will be able override my intentions, however extreme. Is this sounding rather familiar? Does it give you a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? Is having this much power a good thing? As demonstrated throughout history, it is virtually impossible to have a lot of power without it corrupting. In 1887, John Emerich Acton wrote the immortal line “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”- Nothing could be truer than in the case of Adolph Hitler, who came into power proposing solutions that appealed and seemed reasonable to a large number of Germans. To others, he seemed like a deluded fool. A bit like I did at the beginning of my speech. But before you know it such a person has all of your power, and there is nothing you can do to stop them. Likewise, Josef Stalin, who was responsible for the death of over 60 million people and one of these, was my great grandfather, Istvan Kilenyi.

At present look at Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe, or the overfed leader of North Korea, King Jong-Un, whose desperate people are currently dying of starvation. So, let us once again look back at the title, “If I ruled the world…” The answer, I think, would be to make sure that I could not rule the world, nor could anyone else. I would ensure that there were procedures in place that prevented any one person gaining too much power. In fact, we do have this. It is called democracy. Therefore, we must do everything in our power to preserve this institution and to support organisations, such as the UN, who ensure that all decisions are made to the benefit of everyone. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln we need to make sure that Government is, “of the people, by the people, for the people”. By Alexandra Vickerstaff, Year 10

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“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” Mitch Hedberg “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.”

Quotes to make your day!

Steven Wright “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it

was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where

alive.”

the hell she is.”

Elbert Hubbard

Ellen DeGeneres

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” Steve Martin

“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” Casey Stengel

“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” Isaac Asimov

“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

Jerry Seinfeld

Mark Twain

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“Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?” Phyllis Diller

Magazine Meetings are held on Fridays at second lunch, although this may change next year. We have them in Dr Faulkes’ room. Feel free to come along and join us!

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The Purple Slip  
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