Unlearning to Heal from Trauma

by Lisa Ford

Trauma is really just a fancy name given to an emotonal wound. When we talk about our own trauma, we are saying that in some way, we have been through a situaton that caused us emotonal distress. It may have taken the form of anything abuse, to neglect, to abandonment, to witnessing a scary event... Sadly more ofen than not, this trauma has occurred in our own homes and may have been passed on from one generaton to another to another. Called “intergeneratonal trauma”, we have learned to survive by adaptng to the embedded chaos that existed in our homes and has atempted to break away from that chaos by fnding our own methods of getng through. We call these “coping skills.” (Long Term Efects of Child Abuse and Neglect ( htps:// preventchildabuse.org/latest-actvity/long-term-efects-ofchild-abuse-and-neglect/ ).

But coping skills may be maladaptve, meaning they do not help us to live our best lives including addicton, selfharm, sexual promiscuity, and even criminal behavior. It is not that we intend on thriving on these behaviors, (or in many cases, repeatng the same behaviors that we have seen as we grew up), it is just that we have not learned how to “unlearn” those behaviors. When we are raised in, witness or are somehow exposed to trauma, we tend to subconsciously feel comfortable in the heightened emoton that we have become accustomed to. (Mind SupportYour mental health platorm - htps://mindsupport.eu/en/ artcle/6120f30cca3d380626b36f9 ).

So how do you unlearn such deep-seated behaviors? One of the most important steps is therapy. Therapy is the process of taking apart the pieces of our lives to understand why we have adapted to our life stressors and developed the habits of survival that we needed to get through tumultuous tmes in our lives. In therapy, we explore the efects, behaviors, and the core belief systems that have been established to determine whether “the coping skills” are helping us to efectvely manage our life stressors, and if they are not, what we can do to change or replace those behaviors. With therapy, we can also access psychotropic medicatons which help to restore the balance or equilibrium of our brains, so we “get out of our heads” and stop focusing on the trauma. It is extremely important to develop a relatonship with the right therapist, and if the therapist is not the right ft, to change to someone more aligned with your needs. With the right treatment, therapy will no longer feel scary, and instead be an empowering catalyst for change.

In 2021, Lisa lef the feld of educaton to support her daughter, who underwent a mental health crisis, for a positon in mental health as an Outpatent Therapist.

Lisa is in the unique positon to bring atenton to the importance of creatng mental health awareness and mental health advocacy from the perspectve of a former School Counselor, trauma survivor and mother of a trauma survivor.

Connect:

linkedin.com/in/lisaford-12526454 htp:// causeandefectraumahealing.org/