Essentials of Conversation

by Judy Cirullo

Do you know that 90 percent of the tme the person you are speaking to misses your meaning or intent? In these conversatons, we talk over each other, we trigger each other, and stop listening.

When you have conversatons that mater, which include the top skill of listening, engagement increases by 61 percent. In additon, highly engaged employees are almost 90 percent less likely to leave their employer. Conversatons that include two-way feedback increase productvity by 2.5X, and employees who feel their voice is heard are more than four and a half tmes more likely to feel empowered to perform their best. All of these statstcs are a result of having conversations that matter .

Would you like to see these types of results?

Conversatons are the backbone of our relatonships, interactons, business culture, and everyone we interact with. The most common theme I hear from my clients is that they avoid conversatons that might be difcult, leading to a perpetuaton of the situaton as frustraton, angst, and stress increase.

You are overcome by thoughts of “ if I leave it alone, it will go away,” “what if my employee quits?” “What if my family member doesn’t take it well and gets really upset?” These thoughts are what hold us back from having impactul dialogue that transforms our conversatons and moves our relatonships to a new level. For example, I had a client struggling with having a successful conversaton with their employees. The motvaton was low, the engagement was haphazard, and they had difculty with the retenton of their key employees. Whenever she wanted to have a one-one conversaton with the employees, she became stressed, anxious, and frustrated. Ultmately, she avoided these conversatons, only to realize that her business culture began to deteriorate, and the team morale sufered. Sound familiar?

To help her overcome these obstacles, I introduced my 3-step approach to mastering essental conversatons:.

Step 1 - Deconstruct your past conversations. Think about what happened during a previously difcult or challenging conversaton. With whom, where and when? Did it occur between tasks or meetngs, during lunch, end of the day, over the phone, or even by email? What made it challenging or even successful?

Step 2 - Have the conversation. Spend the frst few minutes focusing on making a personal connecton. Yes, personal connecton, even though it is at work. Ask simple questons such as “How are you?” “How are things going?” Listen more than talk, share background informaton, and clarify expectatons. The conversaton may address a specifc situaton that needs atenton. While sharing perspectves it is critcal to include 2-way feedback.

Step 3 - Follow up. Closing the loop on these conversatons is crucial. As a leader or facilitator, your integrity is on full display. Include what you both agreed to: tmeline, expectatons, resources needed, follow-up ensures accountability and forward movement of the performance and, thus, success. Now you’re ready for your next essental conversaton!

About the Author

Judy is a seasoned business owner, a former clinician for 40 years, and a certfed professional coach (CPC) for leaders and teams. Having owned and operated 4 successful businesses, she has experienced challenges and frustratons of managing people while juggling all of the responsibilites of business and personal life. Judy is a certfed coach through ICF (Internatonal Coach Federaton), Conversatonal Intelligence (C-IQ), WHY Insttute, and a Founding Actuator for the Culture Fix® Academy. I blend culture transformaton with impactul conversatons to drive results and outcomes so owners, leaders and teams can move beyond survival mode to sustainable growth. I do this through keynote speaking, interactve workshops, individual, group and team coaching. I enjoy hiking, exploring outdoors with my husband, cooking treats for others, playing with grandkids and sharing with our entre family.

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