Long - Suffering unconditional love, absolute forgiveness By Anthony Manuel Caravalho
I
have been incarcerated for eight years .
Vincent O’Bannon // SQNews
Throughout that time, my wife’s love has been my beacon of hope. On Valentine’s Day in 2020, Lily visited me at San Quentin. After 10 years of marriage, I knew something was wrong. She could barely look me in my eyes as she mustered the strength to be there for me and care for me. Lily had been diagnosed with breast cancer, a fact I wouldn’t learn for months because she didn’t want me to suffer. She underwent chemo while I was infected with COVID inside San Quentin. We couldn’t talk to each other by phone for almost a month because the COVID outbreak put me in a quarantined unit where we didn’t have phone service and visits were canceled. The inability to be there for Lily during her cancer treatment was excruciating. I can only thank God for protecting her because I could not help her battle breast cancer the way she helped save me from the loneliness and isolation that come with incarceration. This is the reality of romantic relationships for incarcerated people, who are forced to watch the people they love endure hardship without being able to lend a supportive hand. Memories would streak through my mind, my conscience reminding me what a terrible husband I was. The drinking, the drugging, the faithlessness... I was completely, vastly undeserving of her unwavering commitment. “How come you never left me?” I finally asked her.
26
WALL CITY
SPRING 2023
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