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A Guide for Newbies -by Liquid Giggles What is the Faucet? The Plumber’s Faucet is entirely written and produced by students and features all of the humor, sarcasm, and superiority complex we deserve as members of the greatest faculty on campus. It was founded sometimes in the 1980’s-ish, and has been known for putting its readers into uncontrollable fits of laughter and stirring up controversy from time to time for its occasionally offensive content (the layman might call us vulgar, while the Artsies prefer to claim that we’re boorish troglodytes). What is for certain is that the Faucet is the best and funniest publication on campus (dare we say on Earth?), and that our path to world domination is all but assured. Where do I find the Faucet? There are stands throughout the engineering buildings which we try to keep them stocked most of the time. You can also see past issues on, or by visiting our Facebook page. How often do you publish? As often as we can, depending on how fast we get content. That usually means about once per month, though we’ve had issues take more time and issues that take less time. The more people writing for us the better! What type of content is in the Faucet? The Faucet basically publishes anything that engineering students find interesting, with a preference for lighthearted and humourous stuff (the Plumber’s Ledger is for more serious content). Common themes are sex jokes, making fun of other universities and faculties, showing contempt for the McGill Daily, and commentary on current campus events. But really, you’re free to write or draw about whatever you want. Talk about how Apple is patenting apples, rag about your classes, or show someone how they can follow Canada’s Food Guide by only drinking alcohol. Pound out a string of one-liners, write something subtly satirical, or make an interesting image. We’re also happy with serious opinion pieces. It’s all up to you – just entertain the readers. Am I good enough to write for the Faucet? Can you tie your shoes and count past six? If so, you probably have something to offer the Faucet. It can be intimidating to start if you haven’t written for a publication before, especially one as prestigious as the Faucet, but you’re probably funnier than you think and our standards

are not too restrictive. We really would like to get as many writers as possible and we are happy to help you think of ideas and refine the ones you already have. If you’re skeptical you can still come to our meetings and take your time with the inspiration. Even if you do shit-all, we always like more company (and someone to help split the bar tab). If I don’t write, how can I help? Absolutely! There are a few options. For one thing, the Faucet can also use people who can draw. And hell, you don’t even have to be good at drawing. Look at the illustrations Liquid Giggles made for his last few articles! You can draw something as a standalone piece, or you can make illustrations to go with other people’s articles (which is actually very important). Also, there are other types of content that aren’t writing heavy. For example, we’ve had things like dirty word searches and “Classified ads” which don’t exactly require a great writer to produce. If you aren’t into content, there are a few other ways you can help. We can use people willing to learn InDesign so they can assist with layout. We can use someone to help distribute Faucets to stands, and we can use someone to proofread issues. Hell, there are tons of ways you can help – we can always find something for you. What if I’m lost and don’t know what to do? Let’s say you join the Faucet and you don’t know what to do next, or you’re confused about something. Send us an email! If you forget when meetings are, let us know! If the meeting times don’t work for you but you still want to know what’s going on, let us know! If you are stuck on an article, let us know! If we forget to get back to you on something, let us know (and make sure you make us feel ashamed of ourselves!). We want to keep our new members, so we are more than willing to help you with whatever you need. Just send all your questions to What if I don’t want to be a regular writer, but still want to contribute sometimes? That’s simple – just send anything you produce to! One-time submissions are just fine (though we’d love to keep you for the long run). Can non-engineers join? Absolutely – as long as they are ok with the jokes we always make about non-engineers! How do I get started? Easy - talk to a Faucet person, or send an email to!

A guide for newbies