Update on Doomsday: 20 seconds from Midnight and Why
September 10, 2024
In an unprecedented series of events, the Doomsday Clock has dramatically shifted to 20 seconds before midnight, signaling an alarming escalation in global instability. Surprisingly, experts are pointing to recent media and entertainment phenomena for this accelerated countdown.
Blake Lively & It Ends with Us Drama:
Blake Lively, normally known for her critically acclaimed acting career, has found herself at the center of intense social media backlash over the highly anticipated film adaptation of It Ends with Us. The controversy began when fans criticized casting choices and script changes, sparking an internet firestorm. Lively, the face of the production, has faced overwhelming scrutiny on multiple fronts, from her fashion choices to the portrayal of the book’s sensitive themes. In just a few days, this backlash has sparked widespread outrage, leading to heated online discussions about celebrity accountability, freedom of artistic expression, and the increasingly blurred line between reality and fiction.
Nick Avocado Shocking Transformation:
In a stunning twist that has left fans and critics reeling, YouTube personality Nickocado Avocado, known for his extreme mukbang videos and chaotic on-screen persona, made a shocking revelation this week: he has lost 250 pounds over the past two years. Even more surprising, Nickocado disclosed that the videos his millions of followers have been watching during this time were prerecorded, creating the illusion that his outlandish behavior and excessive eating habits were ongoing.
For years, Nickocado’s brand revolved around consuming alarming amounts of fast food and junk food on camera, earning both fascination and criticism. His spiraling weight gain and public meltdowns became a point of concern for many viewers. However, during a recent livestream, Nickocado dropped the bombshell that, behind the scenes, he had undergone a complete personal transformation.
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives TV Series
Rounding out this bizarre triad is the latest reality TV sensation, Mormon Wives, a show featuring the complicated lives of polygamous Mormon families. The series, while initially meant as a window into an unconventional lifestyle, has morphed into a cultural flashpoint. The show’s representation of family dynamics and controversial takes on gender roles have not only sparked public debate but have also ignited religious and political tensions worldwide. Protest movements have sprung up on both sides one arguing for the show's cancellation due to its exploitation of a subculture, the other defending its portrayal as reality-based content.
Wake up early they said, respond to the email they said, you'll get a goose pin they said...
They lied! I give you booze and all I get in return is a lousy letter of recommendation that allows me to pursue my passion in life and lets me better me better myself through the wonders of education when all I really wanted is a goose pin. Unbelievable!
Without regret,
A disgruntled former student
Dear Disgruntled Former Student,
This you, my brotha? And this your girl, my brotha?
Dan said we have to call you Abby’s Deadbeat Boyfriend now. You dropped out with like four classes to go. No goose pin for you, Honors Traitor! And your girlfriend said we could do this. Also keep it up and she is not trading you Isaiah Likely.
With love, The BrainStewTeam
Rating the Captains of Sunken Ships
4/10 Yiannis Marinos, The Sea Diamond: The sinking of the sea diamond occurred on its way to its final port on April 5th, 2007. The sinking was caused by being hit by an underwater volcanic reef. It took 30 min for the captain to alert authorities. Nearly everyone was evacuated safely with the exception of two casualties. The captain was in fact aware of the reef, and it was known that he was partying the night before which could have caused a lack of thoughtfulness in his decision. He was sentenced to 12 years and 2 months in prison.
0/10 Francesco Schettino, Costa Concordia: Captain Schettino is one of the worst in my opinion. He was neglected to do his job and steered the Concordia too close to land. Why might you ask? Well, it's because he was too busy living it up with his mistress. Additionally, when everything began to escalate, he made sure that he was the first to get off the boat. He was given orders to return but instead he fled the scene. Causing 32 casualities He was deservingly given a 16-year prison sentence.
Rating the Captains of Sunken Ships
0/10 The Oceanos, Yiannis Avranas: The Oceanos sunk due to an interesting incident. There was no wreckage but there was a malfunction in the vents of the ship which caused water to slowly then quickly enter the ship. However, the siking could have been avoided because it was an extremely stormy day at sea. Infact, it was so stormy that before they set sail the Oceanos was warned not to go out that day. Captain Avranas instanly knew when the trouble began. Avrianos lied to passengers saying there were only minor problems and there was nothing to worry about. Immediately the crew of the ship began to evacuate but told passengers that they were fine, and the ship wasn't sinking. The entertainment staff were the heros in this situation as they were the ones to try and calm down passengers and get people to safety as soon as they were aware of the sinking. The captain, however, was spotted trying to evacuate earlier with the other crew but the entertainment staff quickly pulled him back on board.
7.5/10 MS Explorer, Bengt Wiman: The MS Explorer is a famous for sinking due at being struck by an iceberg. In this incident everyone made it out alive, but the captain was still to blame for the sinking. Captain Wilman was a very well-respected captain, but he was used to the baltic sea, and this was actualy his first time being captain for a cruise through Antartica. His mistake came when he claimed the ice they saw at night was only first year ice, but later it proved to be thicker than that. Another mistake he made was to reverse the ship which just cause a larger gash in the side of the Explorer. The captain and the crew had no idea what had happened until there was a reporting from a room that their room was filling with water. The captain immediately called abondon ship after assessing the situation. He called for help immediately as well. The captain stayed on the boat to try to steer the ship into safety. After his attempt he finally abandon the ship. Overall, Captain Wilman did cause the wreckage that could have ended with a worse outcome, but I think he handled the situation the best in the moment.
INTERCEPTED TRANSMISSION, LV-426 (ZR SYSTEM), STARDATE 2024
Spoilers ahead.
What makes the antagonist of Alien so unique is its intelligence. The xenomorph is one of the most terrifying creatures that has been presented in film history. Many would point to the life cycle and physical design by H.R Giger to be the root cause of the alien’s nightmarish effect on audiences, but there is something beyond its appearance that is far more frightening (if the topic interests you, I encourage reading what many other writers have articulated regarding the psycho-sexual appearance of the alien). The true terror of Alien lies in the xenomorph’s naturally sadistic behavior.
It seeks to haunt each member of the Nostromo before it dispatches them. The moment it appears, bursting from Kane’s chest, the infant xenomorph pauses. It observes the room. It studies the crew. It takes a head count. Just moments after birth, the alien knows its purpose- to kill, and to maybe even make a game out of it.
The xenomorph can be observed toying with its victims. Despite the range of incredible abilities at its disposal that would make the task of murdering the crew effortless, it chooses to wait patiently in the shadows. The fear of the unknown is a powerful tool. It is a much worse feeling to not know where the creature is as opposed to when you do. In the average low-budget B-movie science fiction horror flick, the monstrous threat is always a mindless animal, driven by rage or bloodthirst. It could not comprehend the idea of fear or pain. The xenomorph is not this mindless creature. It understands what it is doing to the survivors’ psyche, and it uses their own fear against them.
Because Dan O’Bannon (as well as many other editors who worked on the script) wrote characters that are smart, both humans and the alien, the tension rises. You never know the outcome of a confrontation because it seems, for a little while, at least, that the crew has a chance. Of course the turning point of the film, where Dallas disappears in the air shafts, is the moment the audience starts to doubt that anyone would survive. We expect Dallas to survive (at least longer into the film’s runtime), partly because Tom Skerrit has top billing, but also due to his rank as the captain. Alien is so important for defying what preconceived expectations the audience has in mind. Although the final girl trope is now cemented as a staple of the horror genre, audiences in 1979 were warmly surprised to see that the survivor was none other than Ripley, a character who nearly took Dallas’ place in the ventilation shafts. No character is given more weight on the plot than another. Or, at least, that weight is constantly shifting- in one scene more attention could be given to Ash, but in the next it could be directed towards Dallas or Brett. It is impossible to pin down a “main character”.
Every actor, especially Veronica Cartwright as Lambert and Yaphet Kotto as Parker, encapsulate the personalities of blue collar workers experiencing a nightmare above their paygrade. They just want to leave.
Still, the Nostromo’s crew is not incapable of retaliation. Their ability to strategize and gather resources is why Alien is so far beyond the average horror experience. The cast is not easily placed into stereotypical caricatures, but instead respond to situations as believably as possible. Of course, each character has a different reaction. Lambert is often too petrified, her inaction an action in itself. Kane is too curious for his own good. Ash functions based on how he was programmed to. There is room for discussion regarding whether certain character’s actions should be regarded as “stupid”, but with Alien being so well-written, the audience cannot immediately jump to such assumptions. There is always a reason for a character’s decision, and the worst ones are often made due to a lack of information. Why should Brett wander off alone in search of Jonesy? Well, why should he have reason to suspect that after what little time had passed, the worm he had seen erupt from Kane would have evolved into a 7-foot demon? Every character makes a decision, often a logical or safe course of action, and still all but one of the crew become victims of the xenomorph’s unpredictability.
Another shock comes as the reveal of Ash’s synthetic nature. It is the perfect surprise that helps bring the audience’s attention to the true villains that have allowed such a creature to wreak havoc on the ship, being the Weyland-Yutani Corporation (or Weylan-Yutani, as it is seen in this film). Upon revisiting Alien, many viewers notice that Ash was always a strange man, who communicates and behaves too mysteriously to be without his own secrets. The reveal is referenced many times before the alien is born. Ash, without much reason, disobeys Ripley’s authority and breaks quarantine protocol, has several company clauses memorized, and withholds important scientific information from the rest of the crew, foreshadowing his true directive. Ian Holm plays the traitor perfectly.
Ridley Scott’s vision masterfully captures the dead alien planet of Acheron (LV-426) and the Nostromo’s claustrophobically industrial halls. His ability to highlight the set’s design and focus on a grittier world is a stylistic evolution from the theatrically lit spaceships in 2001 or Star Trek. There is a retroactive future on display. Scott uses multicompositional shots to display the ship as worn, used, and lived in. Once the actors begin to inhabit these sets, however, the importance of their environment is never forgotten. The ship is riddled with dimly lit rooms and blind corners that keep the crew, as well as the audience, constantly observing every inch of their television screen in search of a sign that an alien is present. The pacing is never rushed. Scott takes his time to show viewers the world, whether it be the Nostromo’s engineering decks or spectacular“space jockey” set. When we reach the third act and Ripley must dash through steam and strobing alarms to the escape shuttle, the audience understands where she is inside the ship. In the first act, constructing a tense and mysterious atmosphere warns viewers that something sinister awaits the Nostromo's doomed crew.
LG - Plant Based Milk
NG - Tea
CG - Coffee
LN - Milk
N - Dry
CN - Soda
LE - Milk (seperate from cereal)
NE - Water
CE - Orange Juice
Screenshots of Every time I Have Paused on Time for Those Tik-Toks with the Spinning Picture
Since I love to watch brain rot to distract myself from studying, here are my trophies for me being able to pause on time.
You Have Been Reading Brain Stew!
What the hell did I just read? “Brain Stew's mission is to provide for the Pierre Laclede Honors College student body a forum for uncensored free thought, commentary, and creativity, as well as news and event listings from PLHCSA and other related campus organizations,” yak yak yak! We publish A LOT OF THINGS. Like, things that make Ed regret ever taking a job at the Honors College!
We’ve been publishing since 1991 (or 1993). Longer than Dan’s car has been running, somehow. We must be doing a good job though. Despite our best efforts, grown-ups keep giving us awards stuff like Best Sustained Program in 2012 and 2017, and Best Cultural Awareness Program in 2018. Even some shady committee called the “National Collegiate Honors Council” gave us awards in 2017, 2018, and Program of the Year in 2020.
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