bec ming. teen NOV/DEC 2021
advice to my teenage self YUWONKA
LAFRANCE
WHY DO I EXIST?
Teen-trepreneur
GOAL
r e t t e G
Joel Okyere
Relationship Advice!
Morgan Tracy J
NOV/DEC 2021
ISSUE NO. 1
BECOMING TEEN
CONTRIBUTORS
Christna Stubbs
Sarai Lafrance
Freshia Wairimu
Article- "Your Life is Precious to God"
Article- "My Journey To Purpose"
Article- "Be The Light"
Staff Writer
Staff Writer
Guest Contributor
Rhandi Mackey
Joel K. Okyere
Yuwonka Lafrance
Feature-"Teen-trepreneur"
Article- “Why Do I Exist”
Article- "Notes to My Teenage Self"
Guest Contributor
Guest Contributor
Staff Writer
BECOMING TEEN
CONTRIBUTORS
Melissa Simon
Shanté Stubbs
Article- "Forgive Them, It will Heal You Daughter" Staff Writer
Founder/Editor-In-ChiefBecoming Magazine & Becoming Teen Magazine
Cover Story
MORGAN TRACY J
deripsni eb
s d a e R Dope d a e h A
yllufitueb worg
be brave
dlrow eht egnahc
thgil eht eb
stand out
BECOMING TEEN
from the editor I can remember how I felt being a teenager- I felt overwhelmed by the pressure to fit in. I felt misunderstood. I felt ugly. I felt fat, I felt imperfect. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I could never measure
up.
I
felt
that
I
could
never
measure
up
to
society's
standards. I can only imagine how hard it must be growing up in today's
world;
where
social
media
has
now
complicated
adolescence even further. It is my prayer that this magazine helps you in some way. I pray that as you navigate your teenage years that some article or some story from this magazine makes the journey that much easier for you. I pray that it somehow helps you to find the courage to live fearlessly and to live bravely. I pray that it helps you to navigate those rough seas of becoming who you are meant to be in this life. I hope that it inspires you to challenge social norms and to rise above the pressure to conform. I pray that it inspires you to dream and to hope. I pray that it inspires you to go and make the world a better
place.
Your
teenage
years
will
pass
eventually.
It
is
my
prayer that when it does, you would have learned the lessons it was meant to teach you. I'm rooting for you and I believe in you.
Shanté Stubbs
Be The
Light!
by Freshia Wairimu
I've observed something about the way teenagers express themselves. I’ve noticed that many teenagers (and even some adults) tend to act carelessly out of insecurity. What I mean is that when we feel insecure about ourselves, we project that onto others. We begin to "attack" those around usour classmates, our neighbors and even our friends. For instance, if a girl does not like how her hair looks, she might look for a way to make someone else feel bad about how their hair looks. “Your hair is too long, short hair looks better on you”. She might even say something like “'You are better off with glasses” or “I loved the slender version of you much more”. Yet, she knows that the words she speak are the opposite of the truth. She knows deep down that she is simply finding it hard to accept herself. So, the only way for her to feel good about herself is to make someone else feel even more miserable. Which is sad.
We must become whole before we can truly be effective in this world. There is a saying that goes: “You can't pour from an empty cup”. This means that in order for you to have a positive impact on someone else, you must have a positive attitude stirring you up from within. If you are filled with negativity, low self-esteem and selfdoubt, you will pour from that "cup" into those around you . In doing so, you might end up damaging the people you love or the very people you were meant to help. We must learn to fill ourselves with positivity, so that we can pour it out to the people around us. We must learn to love ourselves so that we can properly love other people. We must learn to choose differently in a world where insecurity and low self-esteem teaches us to bring others down. This is what God calls us to.
You get to make the choice each day to be a light in the midst of the darkness. You get to speak life or bring someone else down. Learn to love yourself. Discover your purpose in this world and run with it. When you’re doing this, there is no room for negativity or insecurity. When you are focused and you know where you are headed, there is no need for you be insecure and to tear others down. Choose to be a light in this dark world.
TEENTREPRENEUR
An Interview with Rhandi Mackey from "A Spoon Full of Sugar"
What is your name? Rhandi Mackey How old are you? I am 16 years old Where are you from? I am from an island in The Bahamas called Eleuthera. Tell us about how you started your business. My business "A Spoon Full of Sugar" was started when my mother began to have issues with her health. I will be graduating high school soon, and I knew that I needed to figure out a way to provide for myself and take some of the stress off of my mother. I started my business by simply selling baked goods to my mother's friends, my family and it gradually grew into something so much bigger.
What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced with running your own business as a teen? Managing my time is one of the biggest challenges ! I have to juggle baking, studying, doing homework and advising, all while still trying to have a social life .... AND being a productive 16 year old! That is a lot! So, what are some things you enjoy Rhandi? I love to sing and dance! I also enjoy playing video games. What do you think are some things teens can do right now to improve their quality of life ? They can take time to improve their mental health for sure! They should also surround themselves with people that make them genuinely happy. It's important to find people who can encourage you. Another thing is that teens shouldn't compare themselves
to others. At the end of the day there is only one ‘you'. What are some future goals that you have for your life and for your business? I want to become a veterinary technician, but I also want to continue with my business. I really plan to build it up- to expand it. What encouragement would you give to other teens seeking to start their own business? There are people who will doubt you, but it’s up to you to keep pushing! You must believe in yourself. Constructive criticism is a good thing, but don’t let people run over you. You have to speak up for yourself and stand up for your business and for what you believe in!
BET L I F E
A D V I C E
F R O M
T H E
E X P E R T S
Question: I really like a boy in my class, but he doesn’t notice me. I want to make myself more appealing to him, but I don’t want to change who I am just for a boy. Do you have any advice?
First off, let me commend you for being so honest! I love that you’re reaching out for advice on something so personal, and I’m glad you did because I’m sure there are so many other girls and even guys out there just like you wondering the same thing. To be totally honest, I’ve struggled with this as a teen. I’ve had many instances where I liked a boy, but I didn’t quite know what to do to catch his eye. Because I was young and naïve back then, I didn’t know how to deal with the situation, but thankfully through experience and maturity, I have a few tips that will hopefully help you out!
Do not change yourself for a boy. I cannot stress this enough. I know it can be tempting to change things about yourself to make you more appealing to this guy, but please, do not. Learn to appreciate who you are and what you have. God has gifted you with so many amazing talents, quirks, and capabilities. He gave you each and every one of them for a purpose. If this guy is the right for you, then he wouldn’t want you to be anything other than yourself. If you believe that he would want you to change yourself just for him, then maybe he isn’t someone that you should even want to be with in the first place.
Find out what he enjoys and start a conversation. Ask questions about some of the things that he is interested in. I’ve learned that sometimes all it takes is to ask a question. Ask him about his interests or if you’re too nervous to ask him, then ask his friends. Find out what he likes to do and maybe strike up a conversation with him about whatever you find out. People love it when you make an effort to learn about the things that they enjoy.
Learn to love yourself. I know that this may sound very cliche, but it is so important. As a teen, I struggled with insecurity. Because of this, whenever a boy I liked ended up actually liking me back, I always felt like I wasn’t worthy. I didn’t feel pretty enough, smart enough, or even good enough to be liked. So, I truly encourage you to learn to love yourself. I believe that our teen years are some of the most challenging, and confusing years of all because we’re transitioning from that phase of being a child and moving into becoming an adult. The moments in between are often very difficult and we wrestle with a lot of insecurities. So, I encourage you to allow God to teach you to love yourself and appreciate all that He has given you. I assure you that
Do not change yourself for a boy. Find out what he enjoys and start a conversation. Learn to love yourself.
when you learn to appreciate who you are, you will never feel the need to change in order to catch the eye of anyone.
e v e i v g i r g ffo or m e m e tth h
Melissa M Simon
She told me I was fat again. And that my jeans didn’t look good on me. And that my makeup made me look funny. Time and time again my mom criticized me, breaking my confidence more and more. Harsh words hurt more when it comes from your parents. And to be honest, you become a little numb to the pain after it happens time and time again. That was my life. Ever since my childhood, my mom criticized me and said a lot of hurtful and damaging things. I grew up with hardly any confidence and compared myself to every beautiful and popular girl, causing me to never feel enough at anything. When it came to my relationship with my dad, we didn’t really have one. He remarried and started a new family so I was left feeling forgotten about and secluded from both sides of the family. It hurts to feel rejected, beaten down, and unloved by family members, especially when you feel they should be loving you the most and setting an example of what the love of Christ should resemble. If that’s your portion as well, I want to encourage you with my journey and provide a message of hope for your healing. I held onto hurt and unforgiveness far longer than I should. (Until the age of 25, far into my adult years). Simply because, I didn’t know how to let it go.
I wanted to be free, but the pain of their cuts were so deep in my heart, I didn’t know how to heal from the damage that was done. Even more so, hurtful comments continued to happen time and time again causing any progress that may have been made to go right back to square one. But in my journey, the first key thing I learned was the only way that I could begin to forgive was to first embrace forgiveness for myself. Jesus Forgives You Infinitely. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9 NIV. When we come to know Christ, we admit that we are not perfect. We acknowledge that we are a sinner because we will always fall victim to sin, whether it is through lying, envying, harboring anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness in our hearts, or even falling victim to fleshly sins like sexual temptation. But the hope that is found in the midst of acknowledging our sin, is that we have a Savior who was sinless and perfect.
Jesus paid the price on my behalf so that I can come into a perfect relationship with The Father. He knows and has experienced temptation in His own life which brings Him to a greater place of compassion for us having been tempted in the same ways we have (Hebrews 4:15-16). Your first step to forgiving your parents (or any other person in your life) is to acknowledge the endless forgiveness of Jesus Christ. He will forever forgive you. There will never be a sin that can separate you from His forgiveness. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord,” Romans 8:38-39 NIV. He never gives up on you Daughter and He never will. Each time you come to Christ and repent of your sins, ask Him to help you receive His forgiveness for it has already been provided and given to you by faith! His forgiveness is for the past, in the present, and for all eternity.
Now Forgive Others Infinitely. “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21-22 NIV Once we acknowledge that Jesus will forgive us infinitely. We are to do the same. I know that is hard and might even feel impossible. “But with God…all things are possible, “ Matthew 19:26 NIV. All you have to do is make the choice to forgive. Ask God to help you to do so. Forgiveness is exactly like grace. It is undeserving and unearned, yet it is something freely given to us much like the gift of salvation. God freely gave us the gift of salvation by giving us His Son, Jesus Christ. “If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved,” Romans 10:9 NIV; “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from
yourselves, it is the gift of God,” Ephesians 2:8 NIV. Through accepting Him as Lord of our Life, we have been gifted salvation! So I invite you to gift forgiveness to someone even if they feel undeserving of your forgiveness. God will help you. He is faithful, Daughter. So if you ask for His help, He will surely do it. Healing Will Come. “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed…” – James 5:16 NIV. Dear Daughter, after you have received forgiveness from Jesus, made the conscious choice of forgiving, then your process of healing will come. Healing can come in two forms. One form is through a community of believers/sisterhood who commit to praying alongside with you, encouraging you with godly advice, and may even comfort you if they have gone through the same situation. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God,” 2nd Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV.
The second form is directly from Jesus Himself. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds,” Psalm 147:3 NIV. Just as a sick woman who had severe bleeding for over 12 years exercised her faith to simply touch the garment of Jesus and believe in physical healing, I impart and pray the encouraging words spoken by Jesus to the woman after she touched him: “…“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering,” Mark 5:34 NIV. I encourage you to take the following scriptures and pray them directly to the Lord. Ask Him to restore the damage in your heart and to be healed emotionally. Choose to receive these scriptures by faith so that you can be fully healed. Just know that I’m praying for your freedom Daughter and I believe it shall be done. “Let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water,” Hebrews 10:22 NIV. “Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise,” Jeremiah 17:14 NIV.
Try these new music picks from the team
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Why i /Exist J O E L
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O K Y E R E
Why do I exist? Before I even attempted to write what that question means to me, I first pondered where to actually start. I decided that we should begin at my childhood. When I was growing up, this question was not the least bit concerning to me. During this time, I was coping with the reality of my parents fighting with each other constantly. The fighting eventually led to them being separated. After my dad left, my mom often left me to live with various relatives of hers. That was the beginning of my inner conflict. I would often be treated differently in each home that I had to stay in. By the time I got into my teen years and was actually living with my mom somewhat permanently, I had developed too many inner conflicts regarding who I am. I didn’t seem to fit in
anywhere. It was like I was an outsider in the homes of relatives, in the classroom, and even amongst my friends. It was only until I turned sixteen and was exposed to God’s love that I began to ask, “Why do I exist?” I wondered, “Am I really just a “nobody” who doesn’t seem to belong anywhere, or do I really mean something?” Have you ever asked yourself that question? Maybe, many of you reading can relate to this. When we begin to ask ourselves, “Why do I exist?”, then we are taking the first step to finding an answer. Asking yourself is the first step, asking God (your Creator) is the next step, and the final step is actually walking the journey of discovering who you really are and why you exist on this earth. I encourage you to ask God why He created you.
I asked God in prayer many years ago, with sincerity. The thing is, after I prayed, I didn’t receive a heavenly vision telling me why God created me. Instead, in time, God led me to books that spoke about purpose, and connected me with mentors and friends who affirmed gifts that I have but I could not see or appreciate by myself. One of my favorite quotes that stuck with me from a book that I read as a teen says, “The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but life without a purpose” Dr. Myles Munroe. In the journey of discovering who I am and why I exist, I began to realize what my gifts were. I learned what my passions were, and I began making notes about them. During this process, I realized that I loved electronics and was gifted in the area of technology, but above all, I enjoyed
helping people. Realizing these traits about myself helped me decide to become a Computer Engineer, and right after, I became a Pastor. I learned that this is what brought me the most joy and happiness. I can say now with all assurance that I know who I am and who God created me to be. I know why I exist on this earth. However, I was only able to learn why I exist because I was bold enough to ask the question and allow God to help me find the answer. I hope that this article inspires you to do the same. As you go on about your day, remember: You are special, your life is valuable to God, and most importantly, you were created for a purpose.
Morgan Tracy J
Our cover story for this very first issue of Becoming TEEN is YouTuber and founder of His Daughter’s Closet, Morgan James. We were so excited when we got to interview Morgan about her purpose journey! Born and raised in Oklahoma, Morgan currently resides in Tulsa. When asked about her favorite pastime, she informed us that she enjoys prayer journaling and planning. Morgan expressed that her biggest fear in life is living a life without purpose. She states that while growing her ministry and staying focused on her purpose wasn’t easy, she is now reaping the rewards of her consistency and commitment to God’s purpose for her life. Growing up in a small town and living in poverty has inspired Morgan to form her non-profit organization, where she gives back to the community through various initiatives. She explained that she would have loved to have access to something like that growing up, so she desired to offer it to others in
need. When asked what age she began to think about purpose, Morgan mentioned that she did not give her life to Jesus until she was 19, and she did not grow up in church. Because of this, she did not become aware of the importance of purpose until she was 21. Before she truly discovered her purpose, she loved Jesus, but still considered herself as a “party girl”, or as the “drunk girl”. However, once she realized her purpose, Morgan’s desires began to change. She stopped partying on weekends, because she realized that she needed that time to build her ministry. While Morgan has achieved success doing the thing that God has called her to do, she informed us that on her journey, she has encountered naysayers. When she first began her ministry, a few family members discouraged her and told her that her purpose was merely a hobby. She however, is glad that she did not listen to them and instead dedicated her life to her work. Morgan realized that she was
never going to give up and she made up her mind that even if no one ever read her blog or watched her videos, she would persevere because she knew that she was called to it by God. She also wanted to encourage young people that “Your Place in the World is specifically your own. The more you show up as your authentic self, the more people will gravitate towards you. I know social media looks like we are all supposed to be perfect, however, when you show up as a real person with real problems, then real people will love your light.” That statement is not only powerful, but so true! We had such a blast hearing from Morgan about purpose, but we also wanted to know more about any future projects that she may have in the works. She informed
us that she hosts a yearly Prom Dress Drive for teens in Oklahoma who are in need, and she is excited to be hosting that for the fifth year. She also stated that she is eager to continue on in her ministry and release faith based content all throughout the year. Morgan’s hopes are to help God’s daughters to truly embrace their faith and fearlessness in this life. She claimed with assurance that we all can be fearless because we have a powerful God on our side! We could not agree more. If you would like to follow Morgan, you can find her on Instagram at morgantracyj, subscribe to her YouTube channel, Morgan Tracy J, or visit her website at www.hisdaughterscloset.com.
IS PRECIOUS TO GOD
by christna stubbs
your life
I loved my teenage years. They were filled with a lot of laughter, love and fun; but, if I’m honest, I can admit that if I could go back, there are many things I would do differently. I think one of the main things I would do differently is stop caring so much about what other people thought about me. I was incredibly insecure as a teenager. I knew that I was loved and valued by my family and by God, but I still struggled with believing that I was worth loving. I didn’t have perfect skin. I didn’t have perfect hair. I didn’t get perfect grades. There were so many flaws that I constantly highlighted about myself, that when I was ever complimented, I felt like people were lying to me. Have you ever felt that way? If so, I know what it’s like. I’ve been there. I can say with all assurance that what has helped me to overcome my insecurities and low self-esteem as a teen was developing my relationship with Jesus. I gave my life to Him at 17 years old.
When I made the decision, I honestly didn’t expect to be free from my insecurities. I somehow felt like I would always struggle and never truly be able to love and appreciate who I am and who God has called me to be. However, as I grew in my walk with God, He showed me that freedom is possible. Not only did He reveal to me that I am worthy of love, but He began to teach me about purpose and what it is that He placed me on this earth to do. I’m not going to lie and say that the process was easy, because it was not. But, I can tell you that the journey is beautiful and I would choose Jesus every single time. He taught me how to develop the gifts that He has given me and use them for His glory. He made me realize that I was made for so much more than I thought I was. I’m 28 years old now, and I always think back to my teen years and how I believed that my life was worth nothing back then. Today, I know that it was only a lie from
the enemy and I want you to know that your life is worth so much to God. There is a reason that you are alive today. You have a purpose that God wants you to accomplish. I encourage you to begin the process of figuring out what that purpose is. You don’t have to do it alone, either. God will help you, just ask Him.
my journey by Sarai Lafrance
to purpose
During my primary/elementary school years, I was always different from everyone else. I was always known as "the girl with the crowd behind her". Anywhere that I went, I would make friends very quickly. Looking back, I always thought that I made friends easily because I was nice and bubbly, but I didn't realize that it was really God showing me that I was born to be a leader and not a follower. When I became a teenager, I found myself battling with trying to find my purpose and figuring out who I am and who I wanted to be. The enemy constantly tried to distract and confuse me because he knew what God had placed on the inside of me. There were a lot of temptations that he used to draw me away from finding what my purpose really was. He used little things that he knew I didn't like about myself and made me feel insecure, so that I could hide away in the shadows.
My mother would always tell me "Be different" because she noticed that I started wanting to be like everyone else. I wanted to do what they did. I wanted to fit in, especially when I entered high school. Fortunately, during quarantine, I began working on my relationship with God. He helped me to realize that my purpose is to be a leader and to lead young people to Him. I began helping other teens in my school seek God, and I even joined social media groups to learn more about purpose and what God has called me to do. It wasn't easy to discover my purpose, especially being a teenager in the society we live in today, but I was fortunate to find it. Currently, I am working on developing my gifts and learning more about what God wants me to do in life and how He wants me to go about it. My desire is for other young people like myself to truly seek God and discover what He has called
them to do. This is all to say that your purpose is right in front of you, you just have to ask God to reveal it to you.
advice to MY #TEENAGE SELF Yuwonka Lafrance
Yuwonka Lafrance. She is a high school English teacher, who is not only passionate about teaching her craft, but educating her students about their value and the purpose that God has for their lives! As a high school teacher who works closely with teenagers daily, would you say that most teens you interact with are concerned about purpose? I have been teaching in this noble profession for over 12 years. Throughout the years of working closely with teenagers, I can honestly say that the majority of them are living from day to day with little to no concern about their purpose. In their defense, I can agree that many of them lack a full understanding of what purpose is to begin with. The teen years in my opinion is a crucial stage in their life. Many of them are more concerned with fitting in with their peers, which in turn leads to identity and self-esteem issues. The small fraction of those teens that are concerned about purpose, are those that have strong connective ties to their home life and the church. What are three things that you wish you knew as a teenager? I wish I knew that God saw me as beautiful and valuable as a teenager. I also wish I knew I didn’t have to allow low self-esteem to be the driving force of my life and that I could exude confidence during my teenage years.
What advice would you give to teens seeking to discover their God-given purpose? The advice that I would give is to firstly build a personal relationship with God. In other words, make God a priority. I encourage them to take time to read the Bible, commune with God in prayer, listen to worship music and develop healthy relationships with those that can pour into their lives on a spiritual level. These are some key factors in building a relationship with God. Placing God at the forefront of our lives is the beginning of discovering our purpose. What was your biggest insecurity as a teen? How did you overcome it? My biggest insecurity as a teen was a lack of self-confidence. As I reflect on my teen years, I can regrettably say that I allowed my lack of self confidence to drive away a countless number of opportunities. Sometimes, I look at myself now and wonder who my teen self was. It’s as though I didn’t recognize that version of me. Why was I so afraid of being myself? The answer came after I developed a relationship with God. God showed me how to love myself and see myself through His eyes instead of mine. My perception was replaced with His. Today, I can truly say that I have been able to overcome it all because of God. If you could go back and do over your teenage years, what would you do differently? If I could go back and do over my teenage years, I would love and accept myself more, be confident, develop my relationship with God and seize opportunities to better myself without limitations.
How do you think teens today can maximize their teenage years? Teens today can maximize their teenage years by not allowing themselves to be defined by anyone or anything. They should allow God to shape and mold their identities. They should not place energy or emphasis into anything that can deter their focus or their purpose. Additionally, they should have a clear view of their purpose and set positive and realistic goals and be determined to accomplish them.
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