first peek
I hate bras. I have never been the type to buy cute, lacy, sexy, appliqué-smothered boob prisons. All my bras are black, plain, and push-up, because up until this point, society has told me that I need big, perky breasts to be attractive. I am unfortunately a member of the itty-bitty titty committee, and have small boobs compared to my family and friends. While they boast double Ds, I struggle to make do by smushing my B-cup breasts into tighter bras with extremely high push-up promises. Until recently, I consistently purchased overpriced fabric chest cages in hopes that I could better fill in dresses and achieve a perfect hourglass figure. But due to a mix of nipples coming into fashion again and my slacker tendencies, I decided to try going sans bra for a week. The first day of my braless adventure wasn’t bad. I discovered that winter is a good time to start forgoing bras: since you’re wearing so many thick layers and warmth trumps cleavage, no one will ever know. But my first time wearing a T-shirt without a bra was not so simple. I could prominently see
my nipples showing through my shirt, awkwardly drawing too much attention to themselves like a millennial on Twitter (i.e. me). I almost decided to stop my experiment, but luckily stuck with it. What I realized was that most of the time, no one actually cares. I got just about as much attention drawn to my breasts as I did with the push-up bras, which was a welcome surprise. I did get one pair of high school boys whispering to each other, “She’s not wearing a bra!” on the 145 bus, but my internal response was, “Yeah, and it’s awesome!”
The greatest change I have noticed after being braless these past few weeks has been in my confidence level. The once self-conscious, booboppressing me has become a boobloving, self-assured woman.
3
I am not afraid of a little nip. After I stopped hiding my nipples behind layers of padding and fabric, I came to terms with the way my boobs looked. And I grew to like them. I stopped trying to morph them to look like what I thought other people wanted, and I let them be themselves. For years I thought I wanted bigger breasts, but all I really needed was an empowered view of my self-worth. Sometimes I do have to make exceptions. It’s annoying to do physical activity without a bra. Even climbing up stairs really fast feels uncomfortable. So I do wear sports bras to the gym out of necessity, but change out of them when I’m finished. I’m not about to go burn all my bras, because sometimes they have a place in my wardrobe, but they are no longer an everyday accessory. Life is so much easier without bras. My chest feels lighter, literally and figuratively. The feeling you get when you take off a bra feels so good. The feeling of never having to put one on in the first place feels so much better. I don’t have indents in my skin from having a wire poke me all day. I don’t struggle with loose bra straps. I don’t have to scoop my chest fat into place for optimum cleavage distribution, and I don’t have to feel bad for having smaller tits. I am free.
4 News
Ashley Fraser / Print News Editor
news@the-peak.ca
News
November 14, 2016
5
Public Open House – November 16 Burnaby Mountain District Energy Utility We want to hear from you! Simon Fraser University, SFU Community Trust, and CORIX Utilities are looking for your feedback on the proposed implementation of the Burnaby Mountain District Energy Utility (DEU) in the community. The Burnaby Mountain DEU will replace 85% of the SFU Burnaby campus and new UniverCity developments’ thermal energy needs with green energy from renewable sources, supporting the City of Burnaby’s sustainability and environmental goals through greenhouse gas reductions. The DEU will use locally sourced clean wood residuals to provide heat and domestic hot water to Burnaby Campus Buildings and the UniverCity residential community at SFU. Date: Wednesday, November 16, 2016 Time: 2-4pm and 6-8pm Place: Halpern Centre – Room 126 8888 University Drive Burnaby, BC Can’t attend in person? More information is available at www.corix.com/bmdeu where you can also complete an online feedback form from November 14-28, 2016.
MEETING LOCATION
6
News
Ashley Fraser / Print News Editor
news@the-peak.ca
Two leaders of the People’s Democratic Party (HDP), a proKurdish political party, were arrested by the Turkish authorities, who accused them of helping the Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK). The PKK has been struggling with the government since 1984 for the selfdetermination of Kurdish people, the biggest ethnic minority in Turkey. The HDP denied any links
with the PKK and decided to boycott the Parliament. These arrests are part of the purge led by President Erdogan since a failed coup in July. He responded to Europe’s criticism, saying that it was “abetting terrorism” by supporting the PKK.
Two pro-democracy politicians have been banned from Chinese Parliament. This decision follows a controversial oath ceremony, during which the newly elected Yau Waiching and Sixtus Leung refused to pledge allegiance to China and carried blue flags which read “Hong Kong is not China.” China claimed that their oaths are therefore invalid
and refused to let them take office. This decision brought 13,000 people to the streets on November 6, and ended with confrontations with the police. These protests harken to the umbrella movement that took place two years ago in Hong Kong.
With files from BBC News
With files from The Guardian
SFU students expressed their views as they watched Donald Trump win the presidency The TV interview of a man accused of killing his Tinder date has angered Australian citizens. Gable Tostee was charged after Warriena Wright fell to her death in 2014 from his 14th floor balcony. Although there are audio records of Wright pleading to get out of his apartment and screaming “no” 33 times, Tostee was found not guilty. He said that he
was trying to defend himself while she was attacking him. Tostee was reportedly paid a six-figure amount for the interview. The preview for the interview outraged many viewers and raised questions about journalistic ethics and respect for the victim. With files from BBC News
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An election that was the talk of the world for over a year reached its finale on November 8, with SFU students clamouring about the Highland Pub. Tables were filled hours before the election results were even announced. Decorated with bright blue and red streamers and stars dangling from the ceiling, the Highland provided a space for somewhat wary students to come and witness the unpredictable fate of our neighbours downstairs. SFU’s international US citizen population currently sits at 0.85 percent of the overall student population and this statistic does not count for domestic US students. While this is relatively less than our other Canadian university counterparts, it didn’t stop the keen curiosity and watchful eyes of the Vancouver-residing students who were at the pub. During the Canadian election, students will remember that there was no specific event created for the big night at the Highland. The electoral results were announced to a (comparatively speaking) much quieter audience, around this time last year. This year, for the American election, the Highland was nearly at capacity. “There isn’t as much hype for Canadian elections as there is for American elections,” said SFU student Evangeline Kesteven, a
third-year anthropology student. “I’m pretty pumped for it [. . .] I think and hope that Hillary’s going to win because she’s the obvious choice. I’m tired of the argument that it’s two bad candidates. There was definitely foul play on both ends, but it shouldn’t even be a question that Hillary is more qualified than Donald Trump is.” Another student, Jozsef Varga, in his first year in political science, had similar thoughts. “I just think that elections in the States are far more sensationalized compared to others. But I guess that the media attention it gets is understandable, because [America] is the superpower of the world. “Whatever happens tonight is going to affect everyone in some way. But I have faith that Americans will choose Hillary. She’s the candidate with the most experience out of the two." There was a positive rapport near the beginning and middle — cheers overtook the crowd whenever Clinton took a state, with a smaller number of quieter whoops here and there for Trump’s states. But as the evening (and the election) began to come to an end, a sombre and tense mood took over the atmosphere. Numbers in the pub began to dwindle as a Donald Trump presidency came closer to reality, regardless of the predictions that Hillary Clinton was sure to take the White House. The few cheers for Trump’s
state wins were almost immediately shushed and silenced by Democrat supporters. Once the night came to a premature end, many once-bustling tables were now suddenly empty. Elliot Whitehead, a fourthyear communication student, voiced his thoughts on the result of the election. “I’m disappointed. It’s upsetting to see just how much of the American population can disregard the safety of minority groups, and there was so much obvious ignorance when it came to the stakes of voting for a certain party. “I’m not scared about Trump so much as the people who were his diehard supporters until the end, and I really hope this doesn’t convey the message to bigots that they have a correct point of view.” Regardless of whom readers support, one thing is clear: Trump will be the 45th president of the United States, and the only one in the history of America with no military or political background. Suffice to say, after eight years of Democratic governance under President Barack Obama, immense changes are approaching both America and the world. There is no predicting what, exactly, will happen next. In Hillary Clinton’s concession speech, devoid of frustration or anger, she said this: “We have seen that our nation is more deeply divided than we thought. But I still believe in America — and I always will. And if you do, too, then we must accept this result — and then look to the future.”
Opinions
7
Zach Siddiqui / Opinions Editor
November 14, 2016 opinions@the-peak.ca
Ashley Fraser Print News Editor
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8
Opinions
After the penny's eradication began in 2012, Canadians naturally speculated about the potential removal of the nickel. Some organizations, such as the credit union Desjardins, argue that the nickel should be eradicated in the next five years. The change would logically entail the adaptation of other coins, such as the quarter, to stop measuring five-cent increments of value. A massive overhaul of our coin system would be necessary, with perhaps 10-cent, 20-cent, and 50-cent pieces instead of 25-cent coins — an overhaul which, like any governmental initiative, is not without cost. Eliminating the penny cost Canada $38 million. Evidently, eliminating the nickel would be both costly and a hassle. However, the costs of not eliminating the nickel are even worse. Minting it is a money-losing process: the similar American nickel costs 9.4 cents in materials to produce. Cutting government costs was one of the rationales for the Canadian penny’s removal, and it applies equally well to the nickel. It wouldn’t even be a novel move: countries such as New Zealand have eliminated five-cent coins, and others, like Australia, are strongly considering following suit. The building effects of inflation render them further unnecessary. One needs look no further than the original reason that our country created such small denominations of currency to realize that society no longer needs them.
Zach Siddiqui / Opinions Editor
opinions@the-peak.ca
The Bank of Canada targets two percent inflation each year, causing money to be worth less than it was the previous year — a process familiar to many frustrated consumers well-aware of ever-rising prices. While the annual change in value may be relatively small, over time, the effects of inflation grow drastic, with a dollar regularly losing half of its value in 35 years. The Bank of Canada keeps records of the inflation experienced by consumers since 1914. From these inflation figures, we can determine the purchasing power of money over time. These calculations show that the value of the nickel in 1914 is equivalent to a value of less than a quarter of a cent today. While it made sense for Canadians of 1914 to use nickels, they certainly never considered implementing a quarter-cent piece, simply because its value would be trivially low. However, today we mint and carry with us a coin worth less than a 20th of its original value. Canadians never intended or demanded such a low-valued coin, yet because we’ve failed to adapt to inflation, we pour money into minting these unprecedentedly useless coins. Inflation is inevitable. While its eradication may have base costs, the resources we pour into making and carrying nickels each year will only add up as the value of the nickel goes down. Canada has no need for a piece of such low purchasing power; let's leave the nickel behind as soon as possible. As we draw closer to Movember, get ready to hear from many that because moustaches no longer equal a mandatory accumulation in research funds, there’s no point to growing them. Despite this claim neglecting the fact that Movember has raised over $446 million since 2003, this month is about more than sponsorships for facial hair. Movember advocates for awareness about men’s mental and physical health, while simultaneously encouraging early cancer detection. So, what about those hipsters who sport the most fashionable modes of facial hair all year long, or those men who can’t seem to sprout one hair on their chinny-chin-chins? How are they contributing to the quest for men’s health? Well, the idea that all men must grow beards to support prostate cancer research — or that if they already have a moustache, they’re not doing it for a good cause — are nothing more than common misconceptions.
Whether the choice is personal or one made by stubborn hair follicles, not all men need to modify the way they look to support the eradication of a terrible, terrible disease. That’s almost as preposterous as saying, “There’s no way you can support breast cancer research because you don’t have boobs.”
Yes, the campaign has been the source of some unrest over the years for the problematic implications many have drawn from it. It employs archetypal masculine mottos such as “Real men, growing real moustaches, talking about real issues,” which once again reduces masculinity to physical characteristics like facial hair. It’s also been used as an excuse to shame women for their own body hair. Nevertheless, completely boycotting an event that fights cancer is just unreasonable. Whether we like it or not, there is a new case of prostate cancer every 2.4 minutes according to the Prostate Cancer Foundation. Nothing will be done about it by simply sweeping the issue under the carpet. Movember promotes a sense of community for males by reinforcing a supportive environment for afflicted men and their well-being. Until the people who criticize Movember find a better way to tackle the plethora of illnesses that affect the male population, they have no right to complain about a project that brings widespread awareness and funding to men’s health.
Movember promotes a sense of community for males by reinforcing a supportive environment. People can find other ways to support the cause. Besides, when some men look as creepy as Kip or Uncle Rico with a moustache, it’s better for all of us when they choose to be a part of the campaign by different means — perhaps by sporting some moustache gear instead.
Opinions
November 14, 2016
Jessica Pickering Peak Associate
Zach Siddiqui Opinions Editor
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9
Diversions
LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION
Maia Odegaard / Business Manager
maia@the-peak.ca October 31, 2016
13
14 Arts
Hitman, also referred to as Hitman 2016 , is a stealth action game released by IO Interactive earlier this year. It’s the sixth entry in the series, following the divisive Hitman Absolution (2012) and the much-beloved Hitman Blood Money (2006). The initial release back in March was tainted by negative fan response over the game switching to an episodic release model. Rather than releasing the game with a set of game maps and having more released later on, the game would instead be released at a lower price and with just a single proper map at a Paris fashion show, with an additional map available for purchase each month. There was also a reduced rate for subscribers. Some fans feared that this was primarily a cash grab by the developers, who would drip-feed their player base with low-quality maps at obscenely high prices. This anxiety was potentially due in part to lingering disappointment over Absolution , whose missions were more narratively linear and restrictive, and was an unwanted departure from the free-form and largely unconnected missions of Blood Money .
You may not think to look at the circumstances that bring people together as a mathematical equation, but Peter Dickinson, SFU professor in the department of English and the School for the Contemporary Arts, has written a play in which love is looked at through the language of math. The impetus for Long Division comes out of one of his previous plays, The Objecthood of Chairs. “It’s about a relationship between two men, told through chair design,” said Dickinson.
Jessica Whitesel / Arts Editor
arts@the-peak.ca
The benefits of the episodic model did not become widely clear until the first additional map had been released. This map took players to the fictional village of Sapienza, off the Italian coast. As in Paris, players could explore every room of a palatial mansion, but Sapienza also included a secret underground science lab, and a large part of the nearby coastal town, all in a single map. Sapienza showed players the scale of the content they would be receiving each month. It was followed a month later with an equally large-level set in Marrakesh with a crowded marketplace and high-security consulate building, and a detailed Bangkok hotel the month after that. This was all in addition to further small-yet-complex Escalation Contract and Elusive Target challenge modes for each map. If the developers had released all the maps at once, not only would the maps be far less detailed, but the player would also likely play each map just once or twice and assume they had played the whole game. Instead, having the maps slowly rationed out, players were forced to explore the hidden attics, alcoves, sewers, and tunnels to better
understand the range of possibilities in each episode. While the first batch of maps have all been released, and new players could theoretically play through them all consecutively and without delay, there is now an abundance of missions and challenges available for each map, and the detail and scale in each is already apparent. The final episode, of what IO Interactive calls their “first season,” was released on October 31 and sees Agent 47 track his latest targets to a private and extremely high-end resort hospital located in the snowy mountains of Hokkaido, Japan.
There, Agent 47 works to minimize the damage caused by a mysterious Shadow Client who has secretly manipulated 47 and the International Contract Agency (ICA) into helping him wage a war against the equally mysterious organization known as Providence. This episode is unique from previous instalments in that 47 is initially unable to bring his usual toolset with him due to the heavy security. The need to find tools and weapons to perform the assassinations forces players to be more creative in their attempts, rather than to simply rely on the same strategies they may have
developed over the previous five episodes, and is a fitting challenge to close out the first season. The episodic release model has been a success for IO Interactive, winning the trust of all but the most unbending fans, and a second season has already been confirmed. While the game is not perfect — the accents, or lack thereof, of incidental civilians stood out for some fans — the game prospers in all the ways a game about a stoic bald assassin with a barcode tattoo on his neck needs to, and is a fantastic return to form for video gaming's bestdressed assassin.
One of those men, Paul, is a high school math teacher. Dickinson wanted to explore this character further, along with six others, and use mathematical concepts to explain the way all of the characters come to be aligned. “The story unfolds as a mathematical equation,” he explained. The play begins with the language of a word problem that you might find on a standardized test — figuring out who will arrive first with different people using different modes of transportation.
This is how the characters come to meet up at a bar, and the story maps out their relationships mathematically. “I tried to strike a balance between mathematical language and a lot of mathematical references while explaining it in a human way that people can understand,” explained Dickinson. “There is a way in for specialists and others to appreciate it too; I’m playing with mathematical concepts but trying not to make it too complex.” For example, set theory is explained using cliques in a high school, and various concepts such as the number zero, infinity, and the Fibonacci sequence are referenced. The science of patterns, and how they relate to
the characters and the events that connect them, all form the basis of the play. The story is set in the school where Paul teaches, and the other characters include parents, students, the school’s principal, a bar owner, and an Imam who uses the gym at the school. “I wanted to balance sharing who they are as individuals, through monologues, with the larger story as well,” said Dickinson. According to Dickinson, math can be beautiful, and it can also be comforting. “You can count on numbers and count with numbers,” he said. They are reliable, unlike people, but we also have to learn to be comfortable in a space where there is uncertainty and we don’t know the answers.
“Infinity can be overwhelming,” said Dickinson. Some concepts are hard to wrap our heads around if we think about them too much. “We become intimately connected through chance events,” explained Dickinson. “There are only small spaces between us, and we’re only particles colliding into each other. “I hope people leave the theatre thinking a bit more about random connections, and making something out of nothing,” said Dickinson. “These are just questions I’m asking the audience to ruminate on.” Long Division will be presented by Pi Theatre from November 17 to 26 at Gateway Theatre. For more information, visit the theatre’s website.
Arts
15
November 14, 2016
It’s hard to believe that a bullying, racist, sexually predatorial, talking Cheeto will soon be in charge of one of the most powerful countries in the world. But thankfully, not all of our neighbours down south were stupid enough to vote for him
— many of them used their music to convey a message of hope and opposition. That’s a message we need now more than ever. Here are the five best songs to play before our inevitable death in the coming Apocalypse.
One of the first Donald Trump protest songs and still the best one. YG and Nipsey Hussle manage to perfectly capture the potent mix of anger and injustice that Trump’s campaign inspired in so many people, especially non-whites. The chorus has also become a rallying cry for many of Trump’s most outspoken
opponents, with chants of “Fuck Donald Trump” ringing outside the White House on election night.
Leave it to Aimee Mann to find some humanity in one of the most inhuman “politicians” of all time. Rather than portraying him as a towering dictator, Mann chooses instead to paint Trump as a sad, small man who’s in way over his head. The song’s optimistic folk rock tone
masks frustration bubbling just beneath the surface, as Mann struggles to sympathize with a man who doesn’t have a sympathetic bone in his body.
Best lyric: I'm ready to go right now, your racist ass did too much / I'm 'bout to turn Black Panther / Don't let Donald Trump win, that nigga cancer
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Best lyric: Isn’t anybody going to stop me? / I don’t want this job / My God, can’t you tell / I’m unwell
GSWS 317-4 Bread Riots to Riot Grrls: Gender, Resistance and Protest in Historical Perspective While the Russian government is popping bottles of champagne in celebration of the election of Vladimir Putin’s BFF, let balaclava badasses Pussy Riot inject you with a dose of reality. While “Make America Great Again” is a far cry from the band’s hardcore roots, its message is pure punk rock, satirizing Trump’s slogan
and offering a bold call to action. It also wins for the best music video, which features a Nazi Trump and horrific visions of a dystopian America.
A cover of an original song by Tim Heidecker, Father John Misty’s portrait of the pilot of Trump’s private jet may be the saddest song on this list. While the original calls to mind Blue Rodeo and Bruce Springsteen, Misty’s version is quieter and more
personal, making the eventual twist that much more heartbreaking. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but be prepared to shed even more tears than you already have.
The only track on this list that wouldn’t sound out of place on Top 40 radio, Becky G’s shoutout to her Mexican heritage and the hard work of immigrants is a direct response to Trump’s claims that the country is bringing “rapists” and “crime” to the US. Though the current version
is only a snippet of an upcoming single, G manages to pack more in two minutes than most pop stars fit in a whole album.
Best lyrics: How do you picture the perfect leader / Who do you want him to be? / Has he promoted the use of torture and killing families?
Best lyric: Screaming justice for you all / Justice for you all
Best lyrics: Hard work, double time, over time, two jobs / Working 'til our heads hurt / But we ain't never late to pay the bills
Mondays: 9:30 – 13:20
Kiera Anderson
How do the ways we frame or historicize movements for social justice shape their cultural memory? How are intersecting identities of gender, race, class, and sexuality articulated in social movements, and how are they obscured? This course traces women’s activism from the late 19 th century to the present day. We cover a range of left wing social movements, with a particular focus on the intersections of race, gender, and violence in feminist and civil rights organizing from the 1950s onwards. We also look at grassroots feminist organizing in Oregon and Washington in the 1990’s.
GSWS 319-4 ST: Sport through a Feminist Lens Wednesdays: 9:30 – 13:20
Dr. Muller Myrdahl
Consider the following sport “moments”: the persistence of sex-testing that targets female athletes; US athletes kneeling during the national anthem to demonstrate support for the Black Lives Matter movement; continued efforts to change racist team names and mascots; disputes over inequitable resource allocations for men’s and women’s teams; protests in Brazil during the World Cup and Rio Olympics. Analyzing these disparate examples requires asking how relations of power inhabit and become manifest in sport: in its institutions, spaces, media coverage, and popular discourse. This course addresses this and related questions to interrogate the social investment in sport as a “neutral” site where athletic excellence is performed and consumed.
GSWS 321-4 ST: Critical Disability Studies
Thursdays: 8:30 – 12:20
Dr. Nye
This course will introduce students to key questions and debates in the interdisciplinary field of disability studies. Drawing from a range of texts and media, we will explore the social, political, and representational dimensions of disability. Throughout, we will attend closely to the ways that the category and experience of disability differently intersects with formations of gender, race, sexuality, nationality, and class. Some questions that we will explore include: How and why do minds and bodies get categorized as “normal” or “abnormal,” and what is at stake in these definitions? What is the relation between our bodies and their environments – from the ildings we live in to the air we breathe? How do technologies—prosthetics, pharmaceuticals, and amniocentesis—force us to reconsider what it means to be human? How do people with disabilities negotiate sexual desires and identities? In what ways has mental and physical difference been disciplined through institutions such as asylums, prisons, and schools? And, how do performances of disability in art, activism, or biomedicine reinforce or reimagine cultural categories of ability?
GSWS 335W-4 Through a Gendered Lens (B Soc)
Fridays: 9:30 – 13:20 at SFU Surrey
Dr. Marchbank
In this course, we explore what gender means and how knowledge creation is affected by gender. We then apply a gender lens to a number of social issues, contexts and regions. The approach is interdisciplinary and multi modal. We will employ social science readings, film, documentaries, amongst other forms of exploration. This class is interactive. Sessions will involve activities, group and individual exercises and discussion of the theories, empirical information and ideas presented in the readings and films/documentaries.
All GSWS course outlines available at: www.sfu.ca/gsws
16 Sports
After a year’s absence, SFU’s women’s cross country team is back at the national championship. After a year where the team was “a little complacent” according to head coach Brit Townsend, they finished second at the West Regionals this time around — good enough to qualify for the event on November 19 in St. Leo, Florida. “Regionals were awesome, the girls really came through,” said Townsend. “They’ve had a set goal since August at our training camp that they wanted to make nationals. Last year they just missed, and I think part of it was [. . .] maybe they were a bit overconfident, but they just didn’t have that focus that was needed. But that focus was definitely there this year, and it’s shown in every single race that they’ve run so far leading up to the regionals. “They were ready. They were ready going in, they knew what they wanted to achieve, and they went out and did it.” However, it was a disappointing day for the men’s side. They
finished ninth, which unfortunately was not good enough to qualify for nationals this year. In the year previous, they qualified and finished 12th at the national championships. “I think they showed up at the regionals, it was at altitude, they had to run 10k, and they were so excited and determined they went out really hard. Faster than they should have, especially two or three of our runners.” The Clan was led by Rebecca Bassett, who finished eighth in the individual rankings. Miryam Bassett and Julia Howley finished 11th and 12th respectively, while Addy Townsend finished 26th. These four runners will be expected to lead the way once again for SFU at the national championship, but coach Townsend also needs other runners to exceed expectations if the Clan is going to get a result. “I need those four to do what they always do,” she explained. “What I need is my fifth, sixth, and seventh to do something beyond what they’ve done before. Pick off some people, get
Nick Bondi / Sports Editor
sports@the-peak.ca
some numbers, especially our fifth spot, because that’s our last scoring spot. But sixth and seventh can still pass and make a big difference, because they can displace a fifth place runner on another team. So every part of it is really important. “If we can close that gap from one to five, and make that really small, then we’re going to perform a lot better.” That fifth runner is expected to be Reta Dobie, who has been “consistently in that spot all year.” Now the focus turns to preparing for the event. The key for the women will be to refocus after putting all of their effort into qualifying for the national championship. “The trick now is to refocus and set some new goals from the national championships. What can we achieve as a team? It’s not enough to just go there, we want to achieve something special. “My goal and the goal we’ll discuss as a whole team is finishing in the top 10. If we can do that, then we’ve achieved something very special.”
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The SFU volleyball team earned its second straight sweep on November 10, taking down Saint Martin’s University in three consecutive sets. The Clan was impressive throughout, leading for most of the game and never relinquishing control. The team won each of its sets 25–21, 25–13, and 25–19, respectively. A late push at the end of the third set that tied the game was not enough to give Saint Martin’s the edge it needed. A veteran-laden Clan team managed to clamp down on defence while maintaining its strong offensive play. “I think we put them in trouble with some serving, which is one way to get them out of their offence,” said head coach Gina Schmidt when asked about how they were able to stay focused down the stretch. “I think our hitters did a good job of mixing it up and finding ways to score.” With only three games left in the season after Thursday’s, the matchup with Saint Martin’s was an important stepping stone leading up to the playoffs. Currently ranked third in the Great Northwest Athletic Conference (GNAC), the Clan is poised to maintain this level of play and get into the playoffs. “[Playoffs are] not something we’re thinking about. We’re just focusing on getting the W. Our focus is on how we execute. If we execute, then those things will take care of themselves. It’s really about playing our style of
volleyball and playing up to our potential,” coach Schmidt said on whether or not they are looking forward to the playoffs yet. Two-time GNAC Defensive Player of the Year, Alison McKay, echoed this statement: “Playoffs are in sight but we’re still taking it game by game [. . .] We’re not looking too far ahead, we’re just trying to stay realistic.” McKay, who had 17 digs in the contest, is just one of the seniors in the Clan starting line-up. With a veteran core, many members of the team are relied upon to keep the team focused during moments like the late run by Saint Martin’s “We executed things on our side. We took care of the ball and got it done,” McKay said when asked how they closed out the game. “We do have several seniors on the floor and that certainly helps. They’ve been through a lot in their time here and we rely on them to have that poise in all situations,” coach Schmidt said about the seniors on her starting line-up. The Clan improved to 19–6 overall and 12–5 within the conference after the win against Saint Martin’s. The team is currently ranked third in GNAC as well as in the whole Western region. It is important to note that the team is behind Western Washington University (WWU) in GNAC rankings because of WWU’s better conference record, but is higher in the Western region because of the Clan’s better overall record.
Sports
November 14, 2016
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A host of players from SFU’s men’s soccer team won end-of-season awards. In addition to Adam Jones winning GNAC Player of the Year, defender Magnus Kristensen was named Defensive Player of the Year, and Riley Pang won Freshman of the Year. Brandon Watson, Mamadi Camara, and Ryan Dhillon also joined Jones and Kristensen on the First Team. Kyle Jones and Pascal Schmidt were named to the Second Team.
Describing an athlete as a “superstar” can often be overused, but it is hard not to immediately think of the word while looking at junior Adam Jones’ achievements. For Jones, soccer was already running in his genes. “I grew up in Port Coquitlam. My father played football for the Vancouver Eighty-Sixers. I’m a big Manchester United fan because my great-grandfather played for the club. Paul Scholes was a model for me when he was still playing. “Football was never forced upon me. I just fell in love with it.” The Port Coquitlam resident travelled a long way playing soccer before returning home. Jones modestly recalled his achievement overseas. “I was part of an academy in Burnaby, and every year they took a group to Europe to play. There was a cup in Denmark and another one in Sweden. I went to both. It was unbelievable. It was an experience that affected me in so many ways. You don’t realize it at 12, but as you [get] older, you realize the magnitude of this achievement. Around that time, I started thinking I want to become a pro. It gives you a little bit more hope.” A few years following his journey overseas, Jones felt that
it was necessary to go back to his roots. “I can still live at home here and my family can come and watch my games. The NCAA [National Collegiate Athletic Association] aspect of SFU was also the big reason. I liked the thought of playing in the NCAA; I think it’s pretty prestigious. SFU [is a] good school soccer-wise and it fits me very well. Again, if you look at the financial side, it costs so much more in the [United]
States. I spent one year in England during my academic year residence. I went there on trials and I was able to learn selfconfidence. When you go over there on your own, you have to be confident.” With a brilliant regular season performance from the Clan, Jones took home the award for GNAC Player of the Year. The midfielder scored 10 goals and had nine assists. “I think I was in the library writing a paper,” he laughed about how he found out. “It was exciting and it was
actually beside Mamadi [Camara] in the ranking. “Among all these achievements, I think the message that no one really had to say was the fact that in 20 years it will be great to look back on this. As of right now, none of this will matter to us right now unless we do well in the tournament.” One could learn a few lessons on how to boss the midfield from Jones. He revealed how his own identity fits into his role. “My skills are more applicable to a midfield role. I like to set the tempo. I like to pass and create occasions and when someone gets the ball and dribble right away, I don’t have breakaway speed. Midfield is somewhere where I can play my role within the game.” Jones’ ally in the midfield is none other than his brother Kyle Jones. The Jones pair has been shining on the pitch this season. With his little brother on the team, one might think there is an ongoing competition between the two. The storyline is different from Adam Jones’ perspective, though. “It’s really fun, to be honest with you. Being two years apart,
if he ever wanted to come and train with my team, he would. If I had some spare time, I would hang out with his team. We’re very close that way. There’s no real competition. We understand that we have different attributes that will help the team. We know how to push each other’s buttons the right way.” While Canadian athletes often get less exposure to Major League Soccer (MLS) drafts due to the absence of a local league, the future is set to be bright for Jones, who ends the interview on an optimistic note. “I would love to get drafted in the MLS. Being Canadian, I don’t know how much opportunities I would have. If an American team invited me for a preseason trial, for example, I would definitely be open to that option.”
SFU finished first at the Mike Clock Open in Oregon. Morgan Smith took the tournament title, beating Clackamas Community College's Haszell West. Cruz Velasquez finished second in his weight class, while redshirt senior Josh Kim finished third.
Nick Bondi Sports Editor
18 Humour
University classes offer students the perfect window to find that special somebody, yet they don’t teach you how to effectively flirt with your tutorial or lab partner. So listen up and take good notes: you might not have a stellar GPA, but hey, winning the heart of that cutie is much more important than paying attention in tutorial. Debate theory Girls dig guys who can debate a theory or two at any time. Plus, it really shows your “academia is my soulmate” side. Get her eating out of the palm of your hand while you debate about theories, like whether it hurt when she fell out of the sky, or how possible it is for her hair to look this luscious all the damn time. Arrange a library date The sexiest thing to do with your tutorial partner? Just stare.
Janis McMath / Humour Editor
humour@the-peak.ca
It’s kinda tough to do in tutorial with so much noise and chatter, but in the silence of the library, you can study the colours of his eyes, the bone structure of his jaw, and the curve of his lips. Whoever said anatomy was boring?! Get the professor’s approval Show your lady who really dominates the lecture hall by getting in on some witty and intellectual banter with your professor. If your prof springs a 10point quiz on you, spring back with a confident “I don’t need to study this quiz because I got a perfect 10 right here,” while gesturing at your girl beside you. If she doesn’t get in on that, maybe your prof will swoon at it. Share your notes Notes are a coveted part of studying, so show your guy that you care about them by sharing
some of your own notes with him. Notes can include the ones that you took when you paid attention in lecture for all of five minutes, as well as doodles of your future family, an ode about how great his hair looks in the morning, or graphs that chart out exactly how perfect his eyebrows are. You’ll both pass this class with flying colours!
Do your research Ladies love it when you pay attention to their life, interests, and likes — wait, you haven’t been paying attention? You better hit the books and study her
social profiles and networks pronto tonto ! Be sure to cite Best Friend et al. when talking about how great last night’s episode of The Bachelorette was, or discuss how Ex-Boyfriend (2014) was a real sleazeball. You’ll definitely melt her heart with how much you pay attention to her now!
Humour
November 14, 2016
it’s casserole o’clock. Banana and chives? All aboard the casserole express — next stop, my tummy. Finally made a friend? For the love of God, please don’t casserole Margaret. Bakers gonna bake White, middle-class, suburbia. With a fair degree of certainty, I’m going to assume that the only activity you partake in more than listening to Tay-tay is whipping up a fresh tray of chocolate chip cookies. So this quote is a perfectly apt Venn diagram which outlines your life philosophy: there are always going to be people out there who judge you for loving One Tree Hill. Let them. It’s their loss for never having known the joy of estranged brothers being united through basketball. Who needs friends when you’ve got casserole ? Got some leftover asparagus and cheese? Casserole that bitch. Tuna and hummus? Looks like
Good things come in small packages, except a small package You don’t need to get a four by four — nor do you need a 24inch cheeseburger pizza. That’s right, put down the 60-pack of single-ply toilet paper and slowly back away from Costco. Size isn’t everything. Well, most of the time. (Yes, I’m alluding to micropenises here. Mircopenisi? Regardless, no offence intended towards those who have a micropenis.) Having an orgasm is a state of mind Sure, technically it’s a physical sensation. But if you tell yourself, “You know what? Today, I am going to have an orgasm,” chances are you will. In a similar vein, if you put
your mind to being able to rap every verse to Eminem’s “8 Mile,” that’s exactly what’s going to happen, Marshall. Aspire for greatness, expect mediocrity You made a good go of it with high school football. But that inevitably led to a sales job at a local car dealership. I know you go by your middle name, Joe, but your parents named you “Average” for a reason. Embrace it; there’s no shame in it. When life gives you lemons, get out 50 cents. You’re at a grocery store. Stop fucking stealing, you kleptomaniac Life doesn’t just give you lemons. This isn’t a fucking Disney movie. You want some lemonade? Get your good for nothing ass to Walmart, buy some lemons, and make it yourself. Or if you’re a lazy son of a bitch, just buy some lemonade. It’s really not that difficult. While you’re there, maybe see what their return policy is on other bullshit proverbial phrases.
Much like how humans need air to breathe and the Internet needs cute cat videos for us to look at, it is a well-known fact that millennials need jobs. But who wants to write a resumé or cover letter? Or sit through an hour-long interview with a business person in a stiff pinstripe suit? We’ve got five easy (and much more enjoyable) tips to make that hiring process go by in a breeze instead. 1) Start an underground prosthetics lab in order to make yourself look older and wiser. I mean, if you can’t get a job because you have a baby face and no experience, then add that experience to your face. Simple math: wrinkles = wisdom, which will reel in the ka- ching! 2) Face the world of unpaid internships by brushing up on your Starbucks knowledge. Not only is doing coffee runs an essential life skill, it is also a rite of passage. Everyone deserves the experience of muttering, “I’m getting experience,” while gritting their teeth and juggling 15 different coffee orders in their hands. 3) Don’t ever graduate. With enough sleep deprivation and dorm room cup noodles,
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it is easy to convince oneself that being a student is a full-time job. The cycle of papers, exams, and stress becomes the sole purpose for existence and fills the void that a job would. This is why I’m doing a double major in communication and kinesiology with a minor in fine arts and am currently starting a masters degree in philosophy — because I love school so freaking much. 4) Go back in time to when there were actually jobs available. Legend has it that time travel machines exist in generation X’s closets. We millennials can jack them, go back in time, take the jobs that they speak so fondly of, and come back to the present cultured and successful while they drivel in penniless despair. Great Scott, we have to go back! 5) Create a YouTube channel to complain about millennial problems. All you need is a degree that you have no use for and a camera. Set the camera up in your bedroom. Complain about life. Mention said useless degree at least twice in every video you make. Cash in on advertising dollars when you inevitably become famous for being so #relatable.
20 Last Word
Tamara Connor / Features Editor
features@the-peak.ca