October 2019 24
The definitive style magazine for
Join the world’s most inspirational creative writers living their lives in technicolour.
Wherever YOU are in the world, this is YOUR TRIBE, we together we are ONE TRIBE. How To Fix Your Internal Dialogue Self Love Emily Formea I Wasn’t A Victim Of Abuse I Was An Allower Linda Liv Doktar The Power Of Meditation Hannah Galliers 40 Something, Fabulous And Fantasies Karyn Holt How Your Pains Can Get You Closer To Your Desired Life Nina Sadlowsky How To Feel Motivated Robert Landau Trust Is Like A Breadstick Dawn Bates We’re Addicted To Our Negative Emotions To Make Us Feel Better Vanessa Louise Birt Finding Your Life Purpose Juliette Wells How I Saved My 90 Year Old Grandfather From The Brink Of Death Helen Nachintu Be Faithful In Small Things Lyn Halvorsen Trust The Process Marieta Elena Nagy Here Is The Truth About Money Mercy Juma Beyond Burt Kempner PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Samantha Caroline Lavallée Fear Of What James Roberts Let Your King Have The Fullness Of His Feelings Without Interference And This Will Unfold Joanna Intara The Universe Is A Big Concept Ingrid Meijerink Can Mindset Be Learnt? Charmaine Barber My Name Is Andrew Ferguson Andy Ferguson
Yes, you’re over 40 but you’re fabulous so let your fantasies run wild and be that phenomenally confident sexual goddess that you are deep inside.
– Karyn Holt
Our cover features the fabulous Karyn Holt (above), Change Maker at “Transform Be You” from Leicester, England, You can read Karyn’s inspired article ‘40 Something, Fabulous and Fantasies.’ on page 18. One Tribe Magazine will transform the way you see yourself and the world around you. So, get ready to LOVE YOUR LIFE, as our creative writers share fresh perspectives, inspiring stories and simple, easy-to-follow steps that will help you FIND YOUR HAPPY. We would like to thank our fabulous creative writers for their amazing insights and you, our wonderful readers for your continued support over these 24 issues. Have a fabulous month and remember to share the love and live your life in glorious technicolour. – Kenny Ball (Editor and Creative Director) (Please note our writers are from all over the globe where there are variations in English dialect, to preserve authenticity we have retained these variations throughout the magazine). Photos and text are Copyright to the respective authors and OTM. © 2019 One Tribe Magazine | OneTribeMagazine.com | OneTribe.Media
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Let the Love flow...
thank you , u yo k n a h t d “Thank you, s writers an u lo u b a f r u o to all One tribe g in k a m r o f today readers menon it is o n e h p e h t Magazine u all!” – Kenny Ball (Editor and Creative Director) - we love yo
How To Fix Your Internal Dialogue Self Love Emily Formea | 04 I Wasn’t A Victim Of Abuse I Was An Allower Linda Liv Doktar | 08 The Power Of Meditation Hannah Galliers | 14 40 Something, Fabulous And Fantasies Karyn Holt | 18 How Your Pains Can Get You Closer To Your Desired Life Nina Sadlowsky | 22 How To Feel Motivated Robert Landau | 26 Trust Is Like A Breadstick Dawn Bates | 28 We’re Addicted To Our Negative Emotions To Make Us Feel Better Vanessa Louise Birt | 30 Finding Your Life Purpose Juliette Wells | 32 How I Saved My 90 Year Old Grandfather From The Brink Of Death Helen Nachintu | 36 Be Faithful In Small Things Lyn Halvorsen | 40 Trust The Process Marieta Elena Nagy | 42 Here Is The Truth About Money Mercy Juma | 44 Beyond Burt Kempner | 46 PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Samantha Caroline Lavallée | 48 Fear Of What James Roberts | 50 Let Your King Have The Fullness Of His Feelings Without Interference And This Will Unfold Joanna Intara | 52 The Universe Is A Big Concept Ingrid Meijerink | 54 Can Mindset Be Learnt? Charmaine Barber | 54 My Name Is Andrew Ferguson Andy Ferguson | 56
Find your HAPPY! MA GAZINE
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How To Fix Your Internal Dialogue
Self love Emily Formea Blogger | Coach | YouTuber | Hippie | Wellness Coach
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HOW DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? I mean what sorts of things do you whisper in your own mind regarding how you look, sound, think, or act? What sort of internal dialogue or communication do you have with…. You? For years, mine was a shitty one. I was constantly putting myself down. Whether it be about my looks, my abilities, even my relationships, it seemed that my worst enemy had actually become myself. I’d buy a really cute necklace, put it on for the world to see, then almost instantly, tell myself that it looked bad, that people would think I was showing off or trying to be fashionable… spiraling out of control, this became a constant battle between myself and my own esteem. The craziest part was actually how unaware of this negative inner dialogue I had become. Bad habits tend to place themselves in our reality; they manifest day-to-day for so long and with such force that one morning we wake up with terrible thoughts about ourselves from….. We aren’t so sure. I couldn’t pinpoint when it had started or even how often it happened, but I began to become more aware of the way I spoke to myself about myself. I’d meet someone on the streets and my brain would tell me that they hated me or that they were judging me, that I most likely looked ugly or should stop being so goofy. I’m not kidding when I say that I’ve never been in a fight with anyone other than me. I started to get really tired of it: being my own worst enemy and OneTribeMagazine.com | 5
critic. So, I decided to make a change. I had to change myself to better myself. I had to change the opinion I carried about me for me and by me. Sort of weird, right? Well, not really. It makes sense. We constantly live with ourselves, look at ourselves, compare everything to ourselves. We see the world through our own lens and believe that no one else struggles, falls down, falls again, or has doubts. We beat ourselves up because we can’t see anything other than our own path, our own lives, etc. So, how did I change this? Like everything else that I’ve ever shared on my blog, first, you have to accept it. You have to accept that you’re being a bully. You have to acknowledge that you’re speaking poorly to yourself AND you have to acknowledge and accept that you deserve to be treated better than that. I think that is the root of it all: “You have to seriously work on believeing that you deserve better.” After acceptance can really come change and growth. How do you change that chatter? Let me share my top tips to help you become well…. kinder to you and fix that negative self-talk that can alter the way we feel about ourselves day in and day out. Tip #1: Track and Visualize your Inner Conversation This was my sticky note experiment! I took a Saturday that my roomie and I hung more around the house and relaxed our weekend away, which is one of the best ways to spend a weekend in my humble opinion:) And throughout the day, I monitored myself and the talk inside my head. Every time I’d think a negative thought about myself, BOOM, on the wall it went! But, the same for the opposite. I remember I got a package in the mail of some H&M clothing I’d ordered that day. I tried on one of the dresses and felt like a million bucks. That was a kind thought and dialogue I had within myself! That also got added to the wall. 6 | OneTribeMagazine.com
But, holy cannoli… the ratio was VERY uneven. I would guess I had 4:1 bad:good thoughts within my own head about myself. IN ONE DAY! Think how over time that ratio adds up! It seemed that even over stupid things: spilling my water, forgetting to take out the trash, working on an Instagram post and messing up the caption, I just would not cut myself some slack! This is a perfectionist character trait of mine and one I believe many of us have. “When we do good things it barely registers in our brain, but when we ‘mess-up’ even over the tiniest little thing, we are the worst… or so we tell ourselves.” The day progressed and I collected more and more negative conversation sticky-notes on my wall. By the end of the night, my hand was cramping. What the heck! Why was I beating myself up so much and so often! My tip for you to begin the healing process is being aware. You have to have a sort of smack in the face regarding your bad habit, how often it happens, and how silly/ out of control it can could be now! Personally, I started to realize how poorly I spoke to myself and how freaking often! Try this at home! Take a day, a week, heck even an hour and track your own dialogue. See how you speak to you. What sorts of negative thoughts you tell yourself and how frequently. This helped me a great deal to come to the realization of how bad my inner dialogue had gotten, but also how intensely I now was ready to change it! Tip #2: Change The Subject What do we do when we find ourselves in a situation or conversation that’s not serving us or makes us uncomfortable in some sort of way? We change the conversation. I’ve been at parties, dinners, dates, or work where someone will try to talk about politics, gossip, etc. basically things I wasn’t comfortable speaking about or didn’t feel would serve my best interest… I changed the topic of conversation. Whenever you catch yourself saying something negative about your hair
that day or your ability to get that job, change the subject… internally. Sounds super weird, right? The first time I started to use this trick, it felt super weird. I was on the subway going to work and I saw my reflection in the window. I thought, “I look so puffy today. Why does my face look like that? I have like chipmunk cheeks…….I wonder when the new Aladdin movie comes out?” Just like that. I grabbed my phone, looked up movie tickets and moved my mind on. I didn’t allow myself to wallow in that moment of negative self-talk, instead, I changed the conversation on the subway in my own noggin. It’s sort of the psychology of distractions. Whenever you’re trying to break a bad habit, you have to actually break the habit. Habitual mind patterns are how we work! So, if you normally beat yourself up over how poorly you do your job, tomorrow when you go to work, the moment you think a negative belief about your ability to kickass that day, alter your mind pattern. • Watch the news • Talk to a coworker • Listen to music • Write down how you are feeling and why • Heck, even go and grab a drink from the water fountain Alter your habitual internal dialogue by cutting it off the moment you recognize. Interrupt yourself! Be rude, be harsh! You think something bad, stop it! And over time your mind pattern will completely alter because you’re breaking that cycle of negative selftalk and negative self-belief. Tip #3: Alter your environment Bad habits are not only habitual but also based on our environment. For example, people trying to lose weight are told to clear our their cabinets of all junk foods if they want to be serious about getting healthier. Why? Because your environment directly correlates to your daily actions and thoughts. I realized this one day when I went to reach for my water bottle on
and let’s be honest ‘hype-man quality’ talk. No one sits in silence during the day, so don’t expect to do so either in your own head. Once you begin to cut out the negative talk you have to fill that void. Speak kindly to yourself throughout the day. Compliment yourself. Cut yourself some slack for once. LAUGH at yourself! This one is huge! I began to really heal my internal dialogue by being goofy honestly! If I dropped something or had an awkward conversation with someone, instead of saying, “Emily, you’re the worst,” I said, “Em, you’re so goofy:)” but in a positive way! I started to like myself for this funny, silly moments that I used to view as ‘fails.’ You have to begin to fall in love with yourself.
the left corner of my desk… and grabbed air. For two seconds I truly felt lost. Where did it go? I always put my water on the left corner of my desk? Did I forget it somewhere? Did it fly away? I realized that without even looking, without even checking, I expected it to be there because it always was! This is the same with internal dialogue… let me explain:) If you always look at fitness models on social media and it makes you feel bad about yourself, stop looking at it. If you always walk past this specific mirror in the hallway and subconsciously body check your hips, waist, stomach, whatever, take a new route out of your office. If you walk to the gym past big mansions that make you feel selfconscious about your financial status or profession, take the backroads. Stop surrounding yourself with an environment ready to feed on that internal shitty self-talk because, like me and my water bottle we work in patterns of convenience and comfort, change has to be uncomfortable. What you look at, walk past, speak
too, read about every single day has a serious impact on your internal conversation. The information you take in aids in the way you view yourself. Change your environment. Notice when do I speak poorly to myself the most. If it’s at the gym because you’re comparing yourself to others or if it’s out on a Friday night because you envy the girl with ‘perfect’ hair, I’m not saying you can never be in these situations, but recognize them! And try your hardest to maybe spend less time in them or even less time in them alone. When you alter your environment, change can be welcomed in because right now you (and I was) stuck in a routine of negative environmental factors leading to negative thoughts in my own brain. Tip #4: Be your own hype-man
Did you see what I did their above? I began to call myself nicknames. I began to show myself the empathy, sympathy, support, and unwavering care that I show others! CRAZY how we tend to give all of our love away. Why? I think a huge part is that society tells us that caring about ourselves is selfish. That being in love with the person we are is vain. That being confident is being bitchy. Expecting great things for ourselves is greedy. I call bullshit. You should love yourself. You should care for yourself. You should speak kindly to yourself. You will change that inner dialogue because bullying yourself in your own head is easily one of the most subconscious and aggressive forms of self-hatred and you, my sweet soul, deserve ABSOLUTELY none of that…. Especially from yourself.
Finally, be your own cheerleader. I’m so serious and this is so cheesy, but trust me: ‘No one is going to cheer you on like you are capable of and should be doing.’
Keep up to date with Emily Formea
You’ve got to start filling that internal dialogue space with positive affirmations, beliefs, cheers, OneTribeMagazine.com | 7
I WASNâ€™T A VICTIM OF ABUSE
I Was An Allower. Linda Liv Doktar The Voice of Love, Freedom & Choice.
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“wrong” and may not be our “fault”, however, our healing and happiness is entirely our own responsibility.
The younger version of me used to tell a different story. She told the world that she was a victim of domestic violence and abuse.
My trauma became the biggest gift I have ever been given. Because without these experiences I would never have lived a bigger and bolder life and impacted others with my soul work.
She told that story to feel better about herself and to make other people feel sorry for her. To make her sound like the “good girl” and make him (them) sound like the “bad guy”. The younger version of me even used that story as an excuse, so that it was ok to keep being addicted to her wounds and her trauma. And any excuse for why she couldn’t let men close to her and open her heart again. And why she could never trust men again. The younger version of me loved playing the victim. In fact she was addicted to it and madly in love with it. The story served her tremendously and it kept her ‘safe’. Always pointing the finger and blaming, until one day... She woke up to herself. That girl, aka me, realised that she was the one who had been allowing the abuse. I had been the receiver by choice. Maybe not the first time but the second, third and the 200th time. The current version of myself asked the younger version of me – “Linda, what kept you there for so long?”. The younger version of me responded - “Love... I loved him” I then called my own bluff. It wasn’t love for him or them that kept me there. It was the lack of love I had for myself. Can you love your abuser, cheater and “wrong-maker”? Of course. Love is unconditional and free for all. We ARE love. We can feel love for all things Yin & Yang. However, can we deeply and truly love Self and continue to be submissive to abuse - both at once? No, we cannot. True love doesn’t have conditions, however Self-love comes with boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries isn’t selfish, it is essential. And Self-love isn’t just about mirror affirmations, baths and massages. Self-love is about honouring Self in all situations. It is about putting our own oxygen mask on first. 10 | OneTribeMagazine.com
I believe there is a huge problem in today’s society. It teaches us Selflove from a space of DOing, nothing about embodiment and BEing. It teaches us to hold on to our trauma so tight like it is the most precious thing in our life. And this in turn holds us chained into a limiting identity and victim story. We are being taught that we cannot change the past, therefore we cannot change our traumatic experiences. So we get programmed to live with limiting identities for the rest of our lives. Truth is, time is an illusion. And just like we can visualise what we want to happen in the future, we can change the meaning, perception and representation of a past event, which in turn changes the now. Linear time is only one dimension of time and just like we can create the future, we can also re-create the past by letting go of disempowering meanings and perceptions. This is how we heal. It is time for a new paradigm where we know and understand that at any given moment we can re-create our reality by embodying who we most desire to be. I was not a victim of abuse, I was an allower. And by me changing the representation of my past experiences I also healed my current now. My mess became my message and a platform where I began my journey back into SelfLove. It became the starting point of the journey back home, back into the chasms of my own being. No amount of abuse or traumatic experiences ever mean that we are ‘broken’. Most of these types of experiences can be perceived as
Just like the journey from our head to our heart, the human experience isn’t always a comfortable one to walk. Pain is part of life yet suffering is optional. We can choose to feel pain from facing our shadows and healing, or we can choose to live in struggle and turmoil by being chained to our past in the present. It is time to stop robbing our happiness from the now. It is time to realise that no matter what past experiences we have moved through, we are here for greatness. So keep leaning in to the uncomfortable and allow yourself to transcend into this world of unconditional love and infinite possibility. In a journey of many thousand miles we may feel so alone. It is my gift to you to remind you that you are never alone on this journey. You are so seen, held, supported and loved in your all-ness. And the parts of you that you most desire to run away from, are the parts that will set you free. Keep leaning brothers and sisters. Keep taking responsibility and choose to become the embodiment of love, freedom and infinite choice - so that you can start living a fully expressed life of total freedom. How you treat yourself and what you allow is how the world will keep responding back to you. Love & Blessings,
Keep up to date with Linda Liv Doktar
It is time for a new paradigm where we know and understand that at any given moment we can re-create our reality by embodying who we most desire to be. â€“ Linda Liv Doktar
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Mind Body Soul Virtually nothing is impossible in this world if you just put your mind to it
A lot of people battle with body image - so know that itâ€™s not just you. Youâ€™re not alone.
The secret is to carry the soul of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.
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Photography by Dave Whittle 14 | OneTribeMagazine.com
The power of meditation Hannah Galliers The Mindfulness Coach
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Sitting in a converted convent in Devon on a sunny spring day was not how I envisioned my bank holiday weekend in May 2016. “This is stupid” I thought, looking around to see 30-40 other young people just sat there, in the lotus position, eyes closed with a peaceful look on their faces. My first thought was “Get your bags and leave. This is for losers” but something made me stay despite my best efforts at self- sabotage. Maybe it was the sun on the beautiful grounds welcoming me in but maybe it was something more. Maybe it was finding a purpose that I’d never had. Little did I know during my internal struggle that I would be back on those grounds for the next three years. I always considered myself a typical twenty-something year old. Small amount of debt, half working car, slight alcohol dependency, an impending sense of doom about the economic landscape and global warming, oh and just a dash of crippling anxiety. I hadn’t always been that way, I was always really confident. I learnt at school that if I was quiet the others kids wouldn’t talk to me, so my inner voice would say “get in there girl and be popular”. This detachment of who I really was lead to a worrying level of selfloathing. I found as I got older, the voice of negativity got louder. The stress of everyday life felt like it was closing in on me to such a degree that I couldn’t function normally. Every cell inside me felt like it was screaming, to the point that I was struggling to leave the house some days. 2013 was the definition of a bad year. I learnt all about grief the hard way. I was scrolling through social media during May bank holiday weekend to read that my best friend had passed away in her sleep. I still remember the sick, sinking feeling down my throat into the pit of my stomach as I read those words. I couldn’t find the right things to say and I felt stifled. That was the day that changed my life forever. For two years that followed, I felt I wasn’t whole. A part of me was irretrievably missing. I became 16 | OneTribeMagazine.com
hateful, selfish and cold. I pushed away family, and avoided friends, I lost my job and my five year relationship broke down.
became stronger. I trusted my gut and booked myself on my first meditation retreat. Oh boy! Was I in for a shock!?
I had a choice.
Gaia House in Devon has now become my second home, a place of real stillness and tranquillity for me. This sense of peace was earnt. The first day I arrived on retreat I cried and sobbed. Meditation retreats are traditionally in silence. To this day, those who know me are always surprised that I can keep my mouth shut for one day, let alone up to a week. The first day was the hardest. It hit me like a ton of bricks. The weight of everything I had been carrying around for so long erupted into an emotional storm.
I could give up and resign myself to a life of misery and borderline alcoholism or I could get up and show the world what I was made of. But I was going to need help, lots of help. In 2015 I first sought professional medical help. The NHS is a really wonderful gift here in the UK but the wait times can be hard. I was put on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist; I was warned this could be anything from six months to two years. I couldn’t wait that long! My life was already falling apart and I was running out of reasons to wake up each morning. That’s when a friend suggested a meditation class for young people. I’m such a fidget I thought I couldn’t do it but she really needed someone so I reluctantly went along with her. In the heart of Cheltenham is the Isbourne Centre, a holistic centre inside one of the regency buildings. We paid our £2 contribution towards the room and we walked down to the basement where I met Katherine Buxton, a kind warmhearted lady who radiated joy. This glow was such a contrast from my internal bitterness. She explained how to meditate with simple guided techniques, focussing on breathing, body awareness and listening to the environment. During this first session, I kept thinking “Am I doing this right?” “What if I’m doing it wrong?” “What’s everyone else doing?” Just at that moment Katherine reminded us all to come back to the breathing. With a little bit of patience and guidance I understood what to do. I stopped listening to the inner voice that had pushed me for so long. I hate to sound like a cliché but that first session changed my life. I felt more at peace with myself that I had ever done. No one was asking me to be or do anything. It was simply enough me being there as myself. As my attendance became weekly, I knew I was doing the right thing – for me! I felt a natural calling and the urge to pursue this
I left after two days with more wisdom than I’d picked up in my whole life. I felt properly alive for the very first time. It was like I had woken up from a deep sleep and I, at last, could see. I could see the beauty of the world. I felt the warmth of the sun on my face and saw grass like I’d never seen it before. Wow! I understood the meaning of life and then I returned to my five bedroom house share in the middle of a not so salubrious part of town. In no time at all, the old ways, the self-loathing and negativity were in charge again. Aagh! How could I ever be the person I wanted to be, in an environment like this!? Then I did something crazy. I let go of what I always thought was me and decided my purpose was to serve the world. I wanted to help anyone who had felt like I had. For two years now I have been a mindfulness coach, coaching people through their hard times, determined to make the world a better place for them. This is my true voice. This is my purpose.
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I could see the beauty of the world. I felt the warmth of the sun on my face and saw grass like I’d never seen it before. I understood the meaning of life. – Hannah Galliers
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Something, Fabulous and Fantasies Karyn Holt | Change Maker at Transform Be You.
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So to my fellow 40+ year old ladies, find out what it is that is holding you back, then let it go because it is the most freeing and empowering thing you can do for yourself and your partner, but mostly you! â€“ Karyn Holt
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So you’re in the naughty 40s, except you don’t feel naughty, in a sensual, sexual kind of way. You’ve become a mum, had your children and your body shows the signs of that amazing experience; the rounded, not so toned tummy, stretch marks and your boobs seem to have dropped a little lower. And then Mother Nature is also working her magic, your metabolism is slowing down, the cellulite is accumulating, maybe you’ve needed to have a hysterectomy and maybe she’s thrown the menopause at you too! Everything that naturally happens to your body is just making you feel more and more body conscious and unattractive. Each day you look in the mirror, your inner voice gets louder, “You are getting older, your body is out of shape, who is going to want to take you to bed and make love to you.” Sound familiar? That was me at the age of 42! A size 12, mum to a 14 year old, a corporate executive and in a relationship with a wonderful guy. He never once criticised my size or shape, my tummy, my stretch marks or scar or my cellulite, in fact he thought I was fit as .… But I was feeling ‘over the hill’ and thinking that my sensuality and sexiness had put on their running shoes and ran for the hills! I no longer wanted to get ‘down and dirty’ with my guy, in fact I was quite happy curling up with my wine and the TV. A very dangerous combination because they are activities that just made me feel lazy, put weight on and added to my ‘blob body’ feeling! I found myself buying into that silly idea that a sex life simply doesn’t exist past the age of 40, or if it did, it was simply to go through the motions! If that was my only choice then I would rather not have bothered! I spoke to other women and it seemed to be a common theme, as we get older our sex lives seem to be diminishing and not necessarily because we wanted them to but we just felt incredibly bad about our bodies. The idea of having our partner see all of our jiggly bits jiggle even more just turns us off! But it doesn’t have to be that way, you see for us ladies sex is very much a mental thing, whereas men are generally more visual! Us ladies
hypnotherapy is a quick way to discover that root cause and let go of it. Another effective method, or progression step if you’ve flicked your switch on, is spice up your sex life is by acting out fantasies with your partner and those possibilities are endless. They can range from pretending to meet a strangers in a hotel bar, chatting each other up and then heading back to the bedroom, or something more daring like introducing sex toys, for example. You and partner can try anything you both like as long as you’re both comfortable with it! Communication is key and communicating our needs and desires as women is something that many of us struggle with until we flick our mental switch on and rock our inner sexual goddess! Sex can be fun, romantic, passionate, exciting, daring, thrilling, there are so many superlatives you can use but it should never be a chore or unsatisfying. After all, orgasms have so many health benefits for both women and men. They can protect against cancer, help in the battle with depression and sex can help to tone muscles (especially those pesky abs) and help you to lose weight, to name just a couple! In fact, I would say that us ladies over 40 have so much sexual experience so why shouldn’t we use it and have lots of wonderful, soul satisfying sex? have to be stimulated mentally, we need our ‘mental’ switch flicking on before anything gets flicked on! It’s like we have a control switch in our mind and for the majority of us it is so hard to release that control switch, to have that ability to let go fully. For me, it’s because I was a control freak and I found letting go of anything really difficult but I knew that if I don’t let go then I was never going to have the most soul touching, awesome sex life or receive those breath-taking, body shaking orgasms. There are several ways you can learn how to let go, for me the most effective was hypnotherapy and self-love. There is usually an underlying cause that flicks our mental switch off and makes us dislike our bodies and
So to my fellow 40+ year old ladies, find out what it is that is holding you back, then let it go because it is the most freeing and empowering thing you can do for yourself and your partner, but mostly you! Yes, you’re over 40 but you’re fabulous so let your fantasies run wild and be that phenomenally confident sexual goddess that you are deep inside and have the sex life you deserve!
Keep up to date with Karyn Holt
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How your pains can get you closer to your desired life. Nina Sadlowsky | International Results Coach & Speaker, Yoga Instructor, Essential Oils Lover.
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It all started in 2010 in Düsseldorf when I first really thought that what I was doing was a waste of my precious lifetime. Sitting in an office day in, day out, waiting for Fridays and feeling all tense about Mondays. But smart me thought to have found the solution “A different job”. But it wasn’t. Instead I denied my truest and deepest desire, which has always been to live a life in movement. Fast forward to 2014 in London (where I lived for 5 years) when my 10-year relationship broke and that is exactly how I felt. Broken. I remember thinking “Why didn’t I see this coming?” or “Did I, but denied it?” Had I denied myself again, because I was too fearful to see the truth? Again, smart me, I thought I had found the solution “A different boyfriend.” But it wasn’t. Have you ever jumped from one thing to another or one person to another just to avoid your own fears & pains, basically yourself? And have you thought that once the pain had passed “Oh man why didn’t I do this way earlier?” and “Damn, what a waste of time!” Yeah, I totally get you. But over all these years I’ve found out that it isn’t a waste of time. There are no accidents in life, no time wasters, no coincidences; all of these are divine appointments scheduled by the universe. And I know now that my experiences were scheduled to get me closer to my desired life. In 2016, I travelled through Latin America with my British boyfriend at the time. We were in Peru, climbing Macchu Picchu when literally at the peak of this mountain, at the peak of our travels, our relationship had reached the peak, too, but you know, peakminus; we hit rock-bottom. We broke up. I will never ever forget what my boyfriend said back then “Well maybe you should just go home then.” Wow, I stood there, speechless with my jaw dropped for a few minutes before I found my voice again “I don’t even know where home is right now. But I tell you one thing, this journey was my idea, my dream. And this is my life and I certainly won’t let you take this away from me.” 24 | OneTribeMagazine.com
have to feel our body, understand our mind and heal our soul. Period.
And THIS is exactly when my moment was born, that moment of truly stepping into my power. Stepping up for me & my dreams. And so that moving life I was sooooo longing for started. I left Peru quickly and traveled to Bolivia, which is when my journey as a solo traveler started. Haha, you can’t even imagine how many people wanted to talk me out of it “Maybe you should just go home, Nina” I heard this voice. “You cannot do this.” “This is too dangerous.” “What? You want to travel alone?” But despite the rejection I received, despite the fear I felt, despite not knowing at all where this journey would take me, I knew I had to trust and deep within me I felt that I needed this journey to get closer to myself and make the world my home. Not Munich, not London, but the entire world. Suddenly, all this “You can’t” and “You shouldn’t” turned into a “I can, I should and I will.” It was my awareness, my courage and the conscious decision for me and my dreams that finally catapulted me to my breakthrough and the beginning of my transformation. It led me to dive deeper, physically, mentally and emotionally. I understood that if I wanted to experience true change and if I truly wanted to transform my life, from a life by default to a life by design, I had to look at myself first. And this process of diving deep led me to practicing yoga and meditation, I inhaled everything related to personal transformation, I got a coach and still do and I discovered essential oils for their powerful healing properties. And this is also what I share in my Amazon Bestseller eBook “Design your life for results” that body, mind and soul are interconnected, they cannot be separated. And if we truly want to step into our power and design our life for results, then we
So, out of events that seemed like a waste of time at first, I designed a holistic coaching approach “Design your life for results”, and now I help others live a healthier, happier and courageous life by design, too. So, if you feel like others determine your path and you are stuck in a life that is not of your own design or if you are holding back because of others, if you find yourself making excuses (like I don’t have the time or energy) why you can’t or shouldn’t do something, I want you to listen closely: I hit that same wall for so many years up until 2016, and it was only after Macchu Picchu and somewhere between Peru and Bolivia that I consciously and courageously DECIDED to stop hitting that wall and take it down instead. Can you see now, how nothing in your life has been a waste of your time, but selected divine appointments? Do you see now, how YOU can have your life by design, too? To get this into our body, mind & soul, I encourage you to speak out loud the following mantra: “What I believe about myself and about life becomes my reality. I choose to live my life now.” Please sit comfortably, so that both your feet are evenly touching the floor, straighten your spine and bring your hands in front of your heart, thumbs touching your heart. Close your eyes and breathe naturally. Start speaking the mantra whilst connecting with your heart, keep speaking the mantra for at least one minute until you feel a shift in your body, mind and soul. You are only one step away from your transformation to your life by design. Decide for it!
Keep up to date with Nina Sadlowsky
To get this into our body, mind & soul, I encourage you to speak out loud the following mantra: “What I believe about myself and about life becomes my reality. I choose to live my life now.” – Nina Sadlowsky
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Motivated How to Feel
When You Aren’t!
Robert Landau | Motivational Speaker, Certified Life Coach & Published Author.
The answers are easier than you think. I believe we are naturally motivated beings. That’s who we were when we got here and we don’t lose touch with that special spark as we move along the journey that is our life. It is only when we forget the essence of our true being that storm clouds set in.
See if you can relate to the following; It’s first thing in the morning. After a long and restful sleep, you all of a sudden hear the sound of something invading the amazing peace you found throughout the night. It’s your alarm clock! It happens to be ringing so loud you just want to pick it up and throw it across the bedroom. The day has finally arrived. The big meeting is happening in just two hours and you realize that you have so much to do to get yourself ready for what could indeed be a life-changing event. You’ve been preparing for this for weeks and it’s finally here. How do you feel about the upcoming event that is now just hours away? While it all looks good on paper, if you have to be honest with yourself...the emotions you are feeling connected with the event are an entirely different story. As you survey your thoughts about today, a door seems to energetically slam shut in your face. You realize that you just aren’t motivated or even the least bit excited about the day that is in the process of getting started. Motivation is the key word here and you don’t have any, not even an ounce. “I just don’t feel like it!” you say over and over to yourself. “If I’m going to get this done and get through it, I’m going to have to find some energy somewhere and at least pretend that I care. This isn’t good, it just isn’t good!” You wish you could stay in bed promising yourself that someday, hopefully sooner than later, you’ll be able to stay in bed as long as you 26 | OneTribeMagazine.com
Here are some helpful ways to help you reconnect with your true internal motivational energy and essence… #1 - You’re only human It’s unnatural to feel totally psyched about everything all the time. If you did it just might be that you aren’t being totally honest and in touch with yourself. To not feel totally into everything you’re supposed to be into is OK. That’s life. #2 - Be kind to yourself in the midst of feeling negative
want to because retirement and a true life of leisure is looking pretty good right now. Does this sound familiar? So many times we’ll reach a place in life where we just aren’t motivated to take the next steps that appear before us. The question then becomes; how do we move forward in a positive way if we don’t really feel like it?
Give yourself a break and understand that experiencing the lows in life are as equally important as feeling life’s highs. It is often said that to experience happiness we also must experience unhappiness from time to time otherwise how could we truly know what real happiness is? We live in a world of duality so as long as we strive to create a healthy balance between the two, all is good. Learning by way of negativity and pain is a necessary part of the journey. #3 - Do you believe that you can be motivated concerning the issue at hand? Life is about learning how to convert negatives into positives.
The only way that will happen is if you choose to do what it takes to get there. If you don’t want such a shift to occur or if you happen to have a deep-seated belief that it’s just not possible...then it’s just not possible. You are the sum total of your thoughts. What you choose to believe becomes the foundation on which your tomorrow is built. The question becomes, are you in control of your thoughts or do you allow your thoughts to control you? #4 - Just do it! Figure out what it will take for you to feel motivated once again. Consider the possibility that it might not be as difficult as you think. What are three things you can do right now to get yourself back in line with feeling up to the task at hand? All too often we tend to forget how truly powerful we are. If we take the time to refocus, reframe and restart, the answers are waiting for us to discover. The joke’s on us because they’ve been there all along. #5 - You’ve got the power You have been gifted with the power to move forward. You are a winner, even when you’re feeling anything but. Are you a victim to your life’s highs and lows or are you a co-creator and willing participant in your life? The “True You” knows the answer to that question. You are an amazing person and you came here to prove to yourself that you are just that. When you happen to forget how amazing you truly are, realize that remembering is just around the corner. Clouds are always temporary and can only obscure the light of a crystal clear day for so long. Feeling motivated or the lack thereof is a choice. The same energy it takes to feel a lack of motivation is the same energy it takes to feel totally motivated. You are in control. Be your own best friend. Make the choices in life that serve you in a positive and productive way, even if your mind-chatter of an ego tries to convince you otherwise. Feel your power, believe in yourself, do it!
Keep up to date with Robert Landou
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Trust is like a
Breadstick Dawn Bates | International bestselling author, coach and speaker.
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A phrase I have used with my boys many times whilst teaching them the importance of honesty and integrity. And as I prepare to set sail over the Atlantic to Chile, I find I am going deeper into this 5-letter word with a whole new set of emotions and a deeper awareness. You see, when we set out to create a vision for ourselves, our family and our businesses, we hire people to do certain tasks to keep us safe in a variety of ways. It may be in the hiring of a plumbing engineer to fix the boiler, making sure our home is warm and there is plenty of hot water; and trusting it is not going to go BOOM in the night. The same with electricians, car mechanics, and the teachers at the school in which we entrust our children’s lives and education. When it comes to business, we trust accountants to file our finances and tax returns correctly, our IT department to make sure firewalls are in place to protect our own sensitive data and that of our clients and partners. As writers we openly share our words with the world, it’s what we are born to do. Our magic and alchemy for humankind and the planet comes in the written form, whilst the magic of others comes in imagery, food, botany and electricity. Over the years I have learnt many things about the word trust. Trusting others to pay invoices so I can pay my own bills and invoices, to put food on the table and keeping a roof over my head and the heads of my children. We place our trust in friends with deep private thoughts and emotions, hoping these secrets of the soul never see the light of day. We trust partners with our hearts and our pleasures, sometimes to have the trust broken in ways we never thought possible. As writers we have a responsibility to honour the trust of the loved ones in our lives, of friends and acquaintances. The words we weave can hurt others, when at the moment of writing they never entered our thoughts, not our
conscious or subconscious, we simply wrote from a deep innate place of knowing and then hit send, or post as is the case for so many of us in the days of social media. Social media has made me see just how powerful my writing is, and the writing of others; and I can see why so many people avoid reading, especially the longer posts or articles. A lot of them are challenging our ideas of the world, challenging choices we have made or highlighted an area of knowledge we need to move forward but make us uncomfortable putting this newfound knowledge into practice. Words, as we know, are mightier than the sword. It’s one reason so many books were burnt in the Great Fire of Cordoba in Andalucía during the Spanish Inquisition. It is also one of the main reasons many women were not allowed to write in the 18th and 19th Century, hence why George Eliot had to use a male name to enable her stories to reach her audiences. Trust is something we need to have within ourselves. Trusting the knowledge and the wisdom deeply buried within, and how we use the new knowledge we gain each day. Many of us will have trust issues for a variety of reasons, and find ourselves learning to trust ourselves to trust ourselves to trust others; just like we have to give ourselves permission to give ourselves permission. Trust is not surface level, nor is it something to take for granted. Like I have said to my boys “Trust is like a breadstick, once it is broken, it can never be the same again”. By the time you read this article I will more than likely be in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, on an 84-day voyage from Tenerife in the Canary Islands to Punta Arenas, one of the more southern parts of Chile in South America. Trusting the other members of the crew with my life, trusting they have maintained the ship in order for it to be in peak condition for the voyage, as well as trusting the team I have built to take care of my business; all stemming from me trusting myself to trust myself to trust others, ones I have never met in person, and some I
have never even spoken with before. Am I right to trust these people? Is it right to place your trust in people you have never met? Is it right to trust people from the get-go, or do people have to earn our trust? Only time will tell, but I know this much, if we don’t trust ourselves, then how can we ever trust anyone? And as we all know, worrying is simply praying for bad stuff to happen…. And who really in their right mind wants bad stuff to happen? So best to trust ourselves and others, letting go of fear and surrendering to the Universe and our angels; because what will be will be… either a great lesson, a great leap forward or a great adventure. If your breadsticks have been broken, how can you make use of them? Maybe you can use the crumbs on top of some baked portobello mushrooms and stilton cheese to soak up the excess oil and give a nice, crispy topping, or coat your chicken for some schnitzel? Maybe if you like the sweeter things in life, you could use the crumbs on top of your apple crumble served with custard, perhaps even a bread and butter pudding? Whatever your preference, just know that although trust once broken will never be the same again, it can always be looked at in a new and exciting way, through the fresh eyes of a wiser soul. And who doesn’t want to be wise?
Keep up to date with Dawn Bates
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Weâ€™re addicted to our negative emotions to make us feel better. Vanessa Louise Birt | Transformational Mentor & Speaker.
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feel when we experience negative emotions. This prevents any change to occur within ourselves or our lives. What do I mean by we are addicted to our negative emotions? When we are in survival mode and protecting ourselves from feeling that negative emotions that hurts, we feel a rush of adrenaline as the stress hormone cortisol is released. It’s that rush of adrenalin that we are addicted to because we feel alive and it feels familiar to us.
“When you think from your past memories, you can only create past experiences” Dr Joe Dispenza Why is it we say to ourselves “I’ve tried everything and nothing seems to be working”. Too many of us are addicted to our negative emotions to make us feel better. That doesn’t even make sense. How can a negative emotion make me feel better? Typically, 95% of our behaviours are run by our sub conscious mind, the obedient servant and nonthinking part of our mind. Whatever we plant in our sub conscious will dictate what we experience in our inner and outer world. So why can we struggle to create any kind of positive change in our lives? In our early years as we grow up, we experience much of life for the first time. If you, like me, believe we are here to live a positive joy-filled life full of all that we love, then when we experience pain or hurt on any level our bodies feel a negative emotion. When we feel any negative emotion for example, anger, shame, fear or humiliation, we take a snapshot in our minds and call it a memory and lock that negative emotion and memory within our bodies and our minds. All we remember is ‘that experience caused me to feel this negative emotion and I don’t want to feel that again, it’s too uncomfortable’. We do all this unconsciously, and we are unaware we are creating a blueprint for our futures that will become predictable. These blueprints start to hardwire pathways within our brains that fire off certain thoughts in connection with those negative feelings. And so the pattern begins! All blueprints we create from unresolved negative emotions that we feel, begin to dictate our behaviours and we start to question why we struggle to experience much joy, fun or happiness in our lives. Over time these behaviours become our unconscious habits and the guiding force in our lives producing more of the same results and in turn we experience more of the same negative emotions.
Each time we think about that experience and feel that negative emotion, it produces the same chemical reaction in our brains and bodies as if it were happening again. Our bodies are trapped in a negative feeling cycle because we have activated the survival gene and we want to prevent ourselves experiencing that level of pain for another time. A way of protecting ourselves is to forecast in the future a worst-case scenario but each time we do that we experience the same emotion based on the pain of the past and relive it all over again. This cycle causes us to feel unwell mentally, emotionally and physically triggering burn out, painful physical symptoms and disease as we know it. In the past we have been taught to fix symptoms in our minds and bodies with medication, however we are now being taught the most effective way to heal any illness in our bodies is to release the emotional charge that is at the seat of the illness. Of late there is proof that we have the most powerful pharmacy between our ears ~ our minds. This proof shows us that we can create new neuro pathways in the brain that in turn effect a chemical change within the body and how we feel. These new neuro pathways are created by our thoughts so it’s important to have a vision of our self and our lives as if it were just as we would love it to be, because this is how we create new and positive thoughts which create new and positive emotions within our bodies.
We habitually resist change for fear of the unknown, so we crave the familiar (in this case the negative emotion) because we believe that’s where we feel safest. It’s breaking the old cycle and creating a new cycle that serves you. However tricky it is to imagine or visualise a brighter more positive future for yourself, it is essential so you stimulate different thoughts to produce different emotions in the body, so you liberate the negative emotions within the body trapped by past experiences. Calming your busy mind and letting go of the thoughts that no longer serve you is the key to visualising the future you want. Meditation is the way to calm your mind and release those thoughts that cause you to suffer. Once you become aware of the change needed, it takes effort and energy in the beginning to push through the blocks created by past thinking and feeling. I have experienced this many times in my life and it is the thing I believe to be true ~ to free myself from the addiction of my negative emotions. Become still and master the art of meditation is how to create the future you desire and to live it in this present moment, now.
Keep up to date with Vanessa Louise Birt
The problem I find is that we are addicted to the rush our bodies OneTribeMagazine.com | 31
YOUR LIFE PURPOSE
Juliette Wells | Artist/Art Teacher, Intuitive Artist, Entrepreneur
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Finding out your life purpose is one of the most frustrating, confusing, fulfilling & exciting journeys that you can ever take. I am so grateful for my Life Right Now. I am grateful for the tantrums, frustrations & lessons of this unfolding journey and the inner courage to stick with it when the path wasn’t easy or clear ahead. After spending a long time not knowing what I wanted to do, stuck, broke, and not seeing a way out, within a blink of an eye I am Living an extremely satisfying life doing everything I love to do. “Do what you love and you never have to work a day in your life “ All of a sudden a bad review from a disturbed person turned into Rebranding, a New business name, logo, a new role Running Flowercrown workshops and setting up four different types of workshops, healing people through creativity happened all within two weeks. I was then contacted to restore and paint a 1940 laughing clown so all of a sudden my life went from not knowing what to do with myself to being busy & full of bright, beautiful flowers and happy clowns. Once you Let go of control, listen to yourself and act upon your guidance, life can change very quickly. I can finally say I have found my life purpose in my mid-40s. Feeling aligned, happy and 100 per cent fulfilled & happy is what life is all about, and it has a lot to do with your life purpose as it is a big part of your life and leaving your positive impact in this world. For many years I wondered why I was even here? Without purpose, life lacks meaning & direction. Have you ever asked these questions? Why are you here in this world? Why do you exist? What do you think is your purpose for living? Now, you don’t have to have the answers to all of these questions, it takes time to discover the answers gradually overtime. 34 | OneTribeMagazine.com
What sort of things soothe your soul & leave you in a much better mood than when you started? For me, it has been creativity. My spare time as a child would be spent drawing, playing the piano, singing, making scrapbooks anything creative. For many years I felt lost with lack of direction and drive because I thought I was meant to get a traditional safe job to earn a lot of money to get a house, car, and have a family etc What I did not realise was this was not my pat, but the conditioning that had been placed upon me by those around me from a young age. Day by day, I was becoming more and more numb, until I thought this was a normal place to be operating from. This life was slowly destroying me and I was a shell of the person I came here to be. The more I pushed for this life, the more resistance I encounter until all the money I built up overtime slipped away. You are here for a reason. You are given your own unique gifts and talents and its up to you to discover & reveal them to the world. Here are five simple steps to help you discover your purpose in life. 1. What Drives You? Find that One Thing that keeps calling you back Look deep into your heart and think about that One Thing that has always been consistent in your life. That one thing that makes you excited and lights you up inside. What do you spend your spare time doing? Or something you went through that you never want to go through again that touches you soo deeply, it drives you? E.g. I suffered deep dark depression, and I turned to art to help express what was going on inside. For me, I was lost for many years, and the answer was right in front of my face. When stressed, lonely, tired, googling info I would find a common pattern, for me, it was art and anything creative. In fact, when I was in a grumpy mood, my partner would tell me to go
and create something because he knew it would always change my mood in a positive way. Look back to the times when you talk with people, what was that thing that was soo easy to talk about for long periods of time? What’s that One Thing that you’ve always wanted to pursue? Singing? Writing? Public Speaking? Dancing? Painting? Cooking ? Be honest with yourself. The answer will become clear soon enough. 2. Love what you do, and you never have to work a day in your life Volunteer in your spare time. Remember, the volunteer work that you should be doing must be connected with the one thing that became clear to you in step one. Just do the work with no expectations of getting anything back. Ask yourself, does it energise you or drain you? Your life purpose should have a massive impact on your community–it should be something that you love doing that makes an impact on others in a positive way. 3. In finding your life purpose, you also grow as a person. Some people say that they’re good at many things. I too have many talents, but I couldn’t get up on stage and be an Opera singer because it doesn’t light me up inside. You can find out your talent if you know which of your abilities can make you stand out from the crowd? What are you talented at doing? What is the skill that gets a lot of compliments and attention from people for you to want to keep going? What allows you space to grow as a person? 4. S ervice, talent and passion should be the key qualities of your life purpose. Once Following these three key things & discovering that “One Thing” that you really love doing, the thing that you can use to serve and bring Joy to yourself & others the thing you are very talented at doing & inspires
others you will find a life of Ease and Flow. Focus on helping others, and the rest will just come. Money, Clients, success etc 5. Go for it Your family and friends may discourage you and tell you to take the safe path, but if you listen to your soul and what it is yearning for its more than likely, you have found your purpose. They only do this because they think they’re protecting you, when they may be projecting their fears onto you. You are making them feel inadequate because they may not have had the courage or drive to follow their own heart and maybe living a mediocre safe life. Often many times, they may not have come across someone willing to risk it all to follow their heart and soul, so forgive them. Forgive their limited views of you, forgive their fears and negativity they may be putting onto you. Forgive their lack of trust in you and how you choose to tread the path less travelled. Just go out there and throw your whole self in. Serve people & everything will unfold. Reach out to people that have gone before you. Finding out your life purpose isn’t about studying, doing courses, copying people. It’s about being true to you, listening to you, following your inner nudge, believe me; it only gets louder. Don’t overcomplicate things. Find your life purpose and make your impact in this world.
Keep up to date with Juliette Wells
Feeling aligned, happy and 100 per cent fulfilled & happy is what life is all about, and it has a lot to do with your life purpose as it is a big part of your life and leaving your positive impact in this world. – Juliette Wells
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How I Saved My 90 Year Old Grandfather From The Brink of Death Helen Nachintu Intuitive Energy Healer & Mentor, Natural Health Enthusiast, Natural Health Researcher.
My time spent away from the magazine has been focused on a charity in Uganda, which helps women and children in impoverished areas such as the slum areas and villages of Uganda. The charity helps by raising funds to support these women and children and by providing them with the basic necessities that help women to look after their families.
and share the information with their own families. Uganda does not have an NHS system like the UK. Therefore the difference between life and death is money. If you donâ€™t have the money for medical treatment then you are likely to die from whatever disease or illness you are suffering from. And the truth is, that some of the medical doctors are more interested in making money than prescribing the right treatment or medication for their patients. Many patients often end up being prescribed very expensive drugs that have no relation to the disease or illness that they are suffering from. This is why I feel that it is so important to remind the Ugandans of their ancestral knowledge and right to plant-based medicines, which our ancestors relied on for hundreds and thousands of years.
My role within the charity is to provide natural health seminars and workshops for these women, So that they are able to go home
By teaching these women the most Basic ways in which to reduce their sugar intake and consume a plant based lifestyle, many people were
I have not written an article for One Tribe magazine for quite some time now, and I was absolutely delighted when I got the message from Kenny the owner and editor of the magazine, asking me if I would write an article for the second year birthday Anniversary of the magazine. Congratulations Kenny on a very successful two years with the magazine, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to write for One Tribe Magazine.
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able to overcome health challenges that they had been suffering with for quite sometime. For example, my aunt Mary was able to get rid of the high blood pressure that she had been suffering with for so many years. Other women were able to lose the weight that they had always wanted to lose, cleared up skin conditions, and we even saw improvements in some cancer patients. However, the greatest success story of them all has to be my very own grandfather. We call him Jajja Maliko. One morning in June I had woken up to a text message and several voice messages to say that my grandfather had gone into a coma. They had found him laying unconsciously on the floor in his house. He had been there for more than 48 hours and they discovered that he had been bleeding from his head due to the full. My initial gut feeling and huge concern was that he would have a blood clot on his brain, which could possibly leave him brain-damaged for the rest of
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his life. He was quickly rushed to hospital where they did a scan and discovered that he had suffered a brain aneurysm, which they were reluctant to operate. As a result of the brain clot, my grandfather was unable to recognise his own family members whom he had known all his life. He was unable to recognise where he was, and had lost all mobility down the left side of his body. He required assistance with eating, drinking, bath and toileting. Amongst everything else my grandfather had also lost his appetite for food. The future looked very grim and my family who were looking after him felt helpless. After a few days the hospital discharged my grandfather, with some medication and told my family there was nothing more they could do for him. Aunt Mary remembered that I’d helped her to get rid of high blood pressure. So she rang me up one day and asked if I could give some guidance on how to best look after grandfather. I provided her with a few simple health tips relating to what he should eat, drink, and what supplements to give him during his recovery. Aunt Mary made sure that my grandfather was taking 3 cups of Moringa everyday, as I had suggested. She then made sure that he was on a plant only diet. On top of that I had asked her to make sure that my grandfather was not drinking any fluids whilst he was eating his food. 30 minutes before food and up to an hour or 30 minutes after food was okay for drinking fluids. When my grandfather wasn’t drinking Moringa tea, he was drinking water at room temperature never from the fridge. I had also requested that if he wanted to drink any form of juice it should be freshly squeezed passion fruit juice without sugar, and if he needed sugar it was okay to add a teaspoon of local organic honey to his passion fruit juice and Moringa tea. The sunshine also played an important role in my grandfather’s recovery. I had also suggested that they discontinue with the meds from the hospital, and advised aunt Mary to make sure that my grandfather was getting enough sunshine every day 38 | OneTribeMagazine.com
so that he did not become vitamin D deficient by staying indoors all the time. A week later I received a voice note from my aunt Mary telling me that she had seen significant improvements in my grandfathers overall wellbeing and recovery. Firstly, he was able to regain his appetite within a week. Secondly, he was regaining energy and his skin was beginning to look rejuvenated and less wrinkled. Thirdly, his memory began to slowly return. Fourthly, within a couple of weeks he had regained the strength in the left side of his body and was able to walk around independently with the aid of a walking stick. My grandfather is a very proud and independent man, so being able to feed himself, walk himself, and take himself to the toilet was very important to his pride and dignity. By the way it is worth mentioning that after a few weeks of being out of hospital my grandfather attended a physiotherapy session, at which my aunt was told that this man did not require physiotherapy and that he would be able to make a recovery at home, just by
continuing with the protocol that I had suggested. In July I added Ashwagandha capsule supplements to his protocol, and four after his fall my grandfather was able to regain his full memory. He moved back to the village where he resides, he looks healthier and happier, and he does his gardening on a daily basis. It is success stories like this that give me the strength and courage to give my time willingly to educating women in impoverished Villages and slums in Uganda. I focus mainly on women, because they are the most likely to resonate with my teachings and take action. And when I’m back in the UK I continue to help people around the world via my website www.venus-club.org
Keep up to date with Helen Nachintu
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Be Faithful in
Small Thingsâ€Ś Lyn Halvorsen l Creative writer and blogger.
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Recently I was listening to a hospital chaplain talking about life and death situations and how people pull together during times of crisis. He noticed that various loved ones waiting for news or maintaining vigils in the intensive care unit of the hospital all did what they could to support each other and surround each other with kindness and compassion. Sharing a cup of tea and listening to each other helped them in small ways to cope a little bit better in sometimes dire situations. Suddenly all the normal everyday worries and stresses were forgotten and nothing really mattered except the well-being of those they loved and those they knew who were hurting. It made me think about the importance of small things and the things we often take for granted. Very often, it is the small things in life that matter the most. We read so much about self-improvement, learning to love ourselves, how to manifest more of this or that, and how to reach for the sun, moon and stars etc, etc, which is all well and good, but do we really learn how to just let go, be at peace with the world and face the day? After all, today may be all we have. How do we make the most of today? What if we made it a habit to embrace and celebrate the small things? Real life is happening all around us while we’re waiting for the big thing we hope is going to give us some sort of inner peace, contentment or joy. Sometimes the best way to remember the value of small things is to look for random acts of kindness you can do for others. Don’t underestimate the power of taking time to phone a friend you are concerned about, or inviting someone who’s had a bad day for an impromptu afternoon tea, volunteering a few hours a week at a charity shop or offering to drive someone for an appointment if they are struggling. Forget about the need to be noticed. It’s so easy to feel like we are being overlooked at home, at work or in our community when we are
doing the small, faithful things, because they are usually not the glamorous things. It can feel more gratifying to be the loudest voice in the room, but we need to remember that just because a voice is the loudest doesn’t mean it’s the one making the biggest difference. When we can get to a point where we find value in our contributions, no matter how small, it helps us be secure in who we are and eliminates the need to be constantly noticed. Take some time out. Our daily lives move so fast. A hectic lifestyle can cause us to overlook all the little joys life has to offer. Don’t be afraid to make time to (literally) stop and smell the roses. Listen to the sound of your children or grandchildren laughing and actually getting along in the back seat; enjoy the cool, crisp air of the first day of autumn, or take a walk around the block to clear your mind and give yourself a mental break. Work and responsibilities will still be there when you return. Practice gratitude – gratitude does bring happiness. Yes, I know, I know, you probably just rolled your eyes at this because it is something you hear so often, but it is true. The more thankful we are for what we have, the less inclined we are to focus on what we don’t have. Gratitude helps us value the small things we often take for granted because we start paying attention to the good things in life. Some days, it can be as exciting as getting rewarded for doing something well, and some days it might just be that your coffee tasted good that morning. I’ve found that my overall attitude toward life in general is better if I make myself think of three things I’m thankful for at the end of each day. I often write them down and put them in a little gratitude jar a kind friend made for me. There are times in life when we yearn for big moments. Perhaps we hope for events that will propel us into the limelight, even for a short while. But, strangely enough, life has a funny way of teaching us as we go along in ways we didn’t expect, and looking back down the years it’s not necessarily
the big moments that made our lives as such, but the everyday commitment to all the things we held dear. When there is sadness in our lives the world keeps on turning but we don’t notice it. People still go about their daily lives and we may wonder why this can be when our own world is upside down. We wonder why we ever got upset about a petty argument yesterday. What really matters to us? Not the political situations that endlessly play out in front of us. Not the state of the world economy or the latest escapades of those claiming their moment of fame on reality television. What matters to most of us is chatting to our loved ones at the end of the day, sharing a meal with friends around the kitchen table, the light in our partners eyes when they look at us from across a crowded room, and the sound of our children’s laughter. What matters to us is all the small things that add up to the biggest things. What matters to us is love.
Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. Keep up to date with Mercy Juma
OneTribeMagazine.com | 41
TRUST THE PROCESS Marieta Elena Nagy Life Strategist, International Speaker, Global Motivational Coach, Health Consultant.
Action, Belief, Creativity and Persistence are your four cornerstones to Distinction. â€“ Marieta Elena Nagy
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I am going to share some things with you that I believe will prepare you for the next step, for the next level. First, God did not bring you in this world to be average, to be another person who lived and died and did not do anything significant in this world. You are a creation of the higher power; you’ve got greatness in you! You have the power in you to change your life and touch millions of other people’s lives! I love mother Theresa’s quote that says: “I am but a small pencil in the hand of a writing God.” Now I don’t believe that any of us have dreams that have not been given to us, for the purpose of accomplishing them. When you go after your dream, things are going to happen to you. Deciding to move forward in life means: more problems, pressure, adversity, new challenges, new levels in life bring more of EVERYTHING! This thing called life; some call it a battlefield, I say it’s a process. You will be moved in life through steps, through levels, each level and step with its challenges and hardships. It is possible for life to lead you faster than your mind is prepared to handle. Life can move you into such a place, positionally, you are in a state of leadership, but mentally and emotionally, you really haven’t realised what life has handed you. If you don’t let it beat you, and refuse! To be intimidated and learn to manage the steps on each level, doors will swing open. I want you to understand that when you are being moved through life, it is not an elevator! It is a step by step process. Many people tend to move forward in rapid motion; they want to go from the bottom to the top in one step! It doesn’t work like that! Don’t take the elevator, because if you do, you won’t be able to handle the stress, the opposition, the criticism! And every time you take a step, you have to balance yourself. Get used to this level of challenges, conflict with yourself and others. And just as SOON as you get comfortable to all of it and accept that this is the new you, your new normal, guess what!? You take another step! You’re now back in
a situation where you’re learning again, and you’re being hitten in places you never expected before, and you’re dealing with life on another level. But life will sometimes stop the process, for you to be able to evaluate where you are, where you can deal with your heart, and emotion and madness. And you may think, you’re still back there where you started, people you know get jealous of you, because they don’t understand that you still perceive yourself as if you where you started, but the steps in life are leading you higher and further than you’ve ever been before. When you’re standing at that level in your life where you’re dealing with opposition, challenges, criticism, conflict, leadership, hardships, setbacks, disappointments, faith, finances, family, where you felt the pressure, the stress, it hurt you like crazy and you felt like breaking but you didn’t break? It happens to all of us. I will share with you a few irrational belief patterns that may be hindering you from going to the next level. Fear; usually comes from things people have told you or about you, that has manipulated your belief system into thinking little of yourself. It is false evidence appearing real. The three fears: 1) The fear of deserving. I do not deserve the success; I can’t see myself in this position. Who will listen to me? I don’t have college training or money, and so on. 2) The fear of standing out. I don’t want to be different; I want to fit in. I don’t want to become a target, and you will! The higher the monkey climbs up a tree, the more it’s exposed! I encourage you to stand out! I say in one of my quotes; amazing people attract grand ones, and grand opportunities are attracted to amazing people. So be amazing!
and meeting new people. Birds of a feather flock together! Whoever you spend your time with is who you become! People that are running towards their dreams know that their social environment has to change. If you want to grow in life, for the sake of your future, fire the negative people in your life, the limited thinkers, surround yourself with winners, people who are striving, who have plans for life, who are successful, GET NEW FRIENDS! People that will hold you accountable, successful people that will help you grow! Have an OQP policy!of only quality people! People that believe in you, in your vision, who see more in you then you see in yourself! Those are the kind of people you want to spend your time with. Time is precious. Now I want to leave you with a list of things that will help you get started. 1) Get rid of the negative people in your life! Otherwise, they will drag you down, and keep you at their level 2) Develop a health plan of the mind, body and soul! You want to live life with energy and passion! 3) Set up daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals, and yearly goals. 4) Feed your mind! When you wake up, your brain is operating at the highest rate. Listen to positive motivational audios and tapes 5) Get a Coach! We all need someone successful to guide us. 6) Persistence! The babies, how many times they try to walk, fall down and get up, fall again, try again and repeat the process?
Keep up to date with Marieta Elena Nagy
3) The fear of social change. I fear rejection, loneliness or claims that I have changed or sold out. I fear being left out of the group OneTribeMagazine.com | 43
Here Is The
Truth About Money Mercy Juma | Creative Writer. Psychologist. Inspired Blogger.
Imagine yourself being a homeless person on the street, hungry, filthy looking, desperate with a child clutched to your side crying because she has not eaten for a whole day and you are almost at your end, with almost giving up and really tempted to take your life because it all just seems like too much and you feel you cannot take it anymore. You have been 44 | OneTribeMagazine.com
begging on the street but today you have not been so lucky. A look of envy crosses your face as you see expensive cars passing by and you look towards the sky wondering what you did wrong to the universe. A well dressed, expensive looking lady then almost passes by you but crosses the road and comes towards you with a vibrant smile plastered on her face and you feel
welcomed by her smile. As usual, with a pleading voice you ask her, â€œMiss, please help me. My daughter and I are very hungry. Please give us some money for food?â€? You are almost in tears as you say this because you are at your wits end. The lady with the kind smile stares at you for a moment and you find the smile infectious, almost returning it and she kneels where
you are seated and extends her hand, reaching for your hand and you look away in embarrassment because she is so clean and expensive looking. With a soothing voice she says, “My God don’t you know how incredibly wealthy you are! Don’t you know that you never had to do this?” You look at her quizzically and wonder if she has lost her mind and you are about to give a retort remark when she surprises you by saying that you should look beneath your shredded mat. Out of curiosity you do and you find a door knob hidden beneath the mat. It looks a little rusty, most likely because it has not been used for so long. She encouragingly asks you to turn the knob and voila! You find that there is gold underneath it. Rows upon rows of gold. You are then baffled at the fact that you have had all this wealth all along yet you never realized it! This is the truth about us, about all of us. We have rows upon rows of gold hidden beneath our shredded mats and we are not even aware that we do. How come? You ask? Well our wealth is hidden is hidden in our thoughts which are creative and we turn the knob where we find our gold whenever we have an abundance mentality. But what happens? Why do we never realize it? It is all in our thoughts patterns! Try do this right now. Close your eyes for a moment. Take a moment to observe your thoughts almost as if you were watching them from a balcony. It might be that the thoughts guzzle you up from time to time and you will lose your focus but try come immediately when you realize you drifted away. Do this for about five to ten minutes and observe what happens. Are your thoughts mostly positive or negative? For one I bet you will realize that you are not your thoughts. Notice and see who is doing the observing. Does it seem like it is a higher part of you? Who is doing the thinking and who is doing the observing? Are there two parts to you? Are there three? You have heard of the triad body, mind and spirit yes? Well, you just proved to yourself that there are parts to you. How does it feel?
With money our minds have been programmed to think a certain way. By whom you may ask? Society and those around us who taught us about money. For one we grow up believing that money is scarce, that we do not have enough to go around. We are meant to believe that money does not grow on trees when in fact it does! Secondly, some of us have been made to believe that money is evil, that it is not good to have plenty of it. We may believe that most of the rich people in our society today got rich through illegal means and while we long for the money, a part of us abhor those in society that have plenty. Don’t we call them filthy rich? Third, some of us believe that noble jobs, helping professions can never earn good money. Look at a researcher working day and night to find the cure for AIDS who has to plead for money to fund his research. Look at a preacher who relies on the little his or her congregation gives for their livelihood. Don’t we start doubting their character when they swim in wealth compared to politicians and business owners? Some of us also find it difficult to earn money doing what they are passionate about and love! If we believe that money is scarce, evil and a rare commodity only meant for a few in society then that is what shows up for us! Our thoughts become our reality for they have creative energy. It’s like asking for a wish and the universe responding by saying, “Your wish is my command oh master!” When we then talk about money being scarce, evil or thinking we are not worth plenty of it then the creative energy we emit is even grander than thoughts themselves. When we then act in ways that belittle our faith concerning abundance in wealth then we cement it into our lives even more because we act according to what we believe and belief is a secret ingredient in our creative process.
Think about it, talk about having it and act like you have lots of it. I am not talking about you spending your last coin in lavish living but creating experiences that put you in an environment of wealth. If we can’t do it physically then we can visualize it in our minds and profess it in faith and being disciplined enough to be consistent even when it seems as if it is not yielding any fruits because it takes time. While doing all these things, being grateful for what we have also goes a long way! An attitude of gratitude for what we have and for what is to come puts us in an environment of abundance. Imagine it, feel it, reprogram your mind to the tune of abundance and it shall become! Remember, thoughts become things! Our thoughts are seeds which manifest when we plant them. The soil is the mind. Faith, belief, emotion represent water while the sun is represented by our actions. Our words can either be fertilizers that spruce up our plants or weeds that choke up our plants. Weeds can also be our negative thoughts. The world is governed by a set of laws which affect all the facets of life including what we have! Some are physical, some are quantum. We also cannot rush the process because there is a time to plant and a time to reap what we planted. Be patient. Lastly, what we give is what we receive. We can have the lives we long for. We have all the tools available to us and we can use them to create the lives we want. Let’s turn the knobs beneath the rugged mats and access our gold because that is what we were created to do. We were born to create the lives we want to.
Keep up to date with Mercy Juma
How then do we attract money, wealth and abundance into our lives? How do we turn our knobs and access our gold? We do so through thought, word and deed. OneTribeMagazine.com | 45
Beyond Burt Kempner | Independent Writer/Producer & Author
Beyond the prayer mats Beyond the namastes Beyond the benedictions Beyond Rumi’s field Beyond the analogies Beyond the tautologies Beyond the hallelujahs Beyond Time, the preserver and destroyer, Beyond the Veil Beyond the barbed wire Beyond the all-forgiving Silence Beyond the painted-on cheerfulness Beyond the Zodiac Beyond the work of the woken And almost beyond the reach of Love Lies a place I’ve never seen Where my spirit has carved out a Refuge it calls soul’s rest. Take me there For a heartbeat, a minute, an eternity And let me unmix the elements That bind me to Earth. No. Not now. Heaven can wait.
Keep up to date with Burt Kempner
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MA G AZINE
OneTribeMagazine.com | 47
PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Samantha Caroline Lavallée | Writer & Lover of all things soul at Beautiful Disaster. A common enough term yet poorly understood for its profound direct and indirect impacts that goes beyond its standard description of “disorder”.
untouched by this matrix. I understand this, it’s no longer a burden to me, but a blessing as I now can understand how to heal with more clarity.
I am 37 years old, and it took me 33 years before I learned that I blindly suffered with PTSD since the age of 3.
All of my life I knew there was something wrong...I couldn’t place my finger on it...but damn if I could rid myself of the uneasiness that something within me was just not right...something was OFF...
I speak out and share because though we are not alone in this, many are suffering silently, unknowingly. So awareness is a necessary priority.
Imagine living like that. It’s frustrating and maddening, and frankly quite exhausting.
Certainly, PTSD isn’t the end of the world, yet I can assure you it alters and changes the world within which the one affected lives in.
I eventually got to a point where I resigned myself to the fact that I must indeed be fucking god damn out of my mind crazy.
I’m not the same as those
So I suffered. There. Alone.
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Ashamed, and what was worse of all, I was Silently Afraid. Fighting to be “normal” and trying to live a “regular” life. Well that only works until the mind traps you play on yourself catches up with you and then it’s back to square one. The agony is blinding. After a while, you get tired—Not the I need a nap kind of tired—The I need to get to the bottom of this exhausted. Only once I realized that I was traumatized did I begin to deal interactively and focused on the healing rather the investigation I felt plagued with to fix something that in truth was never really broken inside of me.
vantage point, a relief of some sort; I’m not fucking crazy I thought after all...well I am, but in a healthy kind of way...Haha!
Transparently, this journey from my gray world began to get very colourful...not the bright kind either, not at first for sure. It was more like technicolor of flash bangs and random flashings with the horrid stench of the type of smoke that is set off on a hazy dance floor that is mocking you with its presence yet it’s evading you all at the same time. You can touch it, but by God you can feel it.
I’m crazy enough to have never succumbed to the realities I was told I just need to get over. I knew there was something wrong, and I followed through until I found my way through trauma to truth.
A maze. A labyrinth. A puzzle. In retrospect, I, over time had begun to realize that relieving the events wasn’t no help, rather it worsened my progress and sent me spiraling backwards, which also was traumatic, compounding it deeper. So I stopped. After years of seeking help from counsellors, to psychologist to psychiatrist and many in-between, I told my new doctor my whole damn story. I was clear, telling him to document it, as it was the last time I was going to relieve the horrors of those long ago nightmares. He did, he’s a fantastic doctor by the way, and I never again went back to tell the tale. I, from there, started to unravel the pieces. I had decided to focus forward. I became the observer. Then after what felt like an out of body experience, where I was witnessing those around me trying to plan my prescription of cocktails that I was sure would suck the remainder of life vying to be set free to live free of the aftershocks that invaded my every senses, asleep or awake... I watched it all unfold. I understood their concern. I, in that moment decided that I was fucking done living this way. No wait, I wasn’t living, I was a mass of existence staying alive for my children. Now, I remember the self loathing...how pathetic is that I thought to myself...with great disgust that was only a disguise for the grief of my tattered self aching to find peace. Slowly. I began to mend, not by fixing anything but by tending to the hurts, to the wounds. Honestly, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. But I was moving on pure instinct this time. Illogical. Irrational. Healing.
I observed my triggers. I became a watcher of some sort, then later reviewing, feeling into the feelings. Moving deeper to understand why such reaction; I then started to learn how to respond versus react. This takes lots of practice, no judgement, all honesty with self. I began to develop a relationship of trust with my body by engaging my full presence, as much as I could stomach at a time...this is the unglorified truth. I began to dissolve the self betrayals by learning healthy boundaries...this was a scary but liberating process. I began to build upon my courage by adding logs of compassion and kindness to my fire with each step I took. I healed. Lots. Still, to this day, I’m healing. I still have triggers. I will probably always have them, but they don’t have me anymore. I’m not controlled by them, I command myself. Nothing perfect, this I assure you, but real, and real feels so darn good. Alive, I feel fucking alive. I began this precious journey 6 years ago, unbeknownst to me then, that all along I suffered from complex-PTSD, alone and unknown I paved my way through, carving out pieces and moulding myself into wellness. Today, I’m thankfully still here.
Does this take away the mess? Of course not. However, it does put in its place all the misplaced pieces that I knew were fragmented somehow. So what now I thought? I continue to live, to learn, to heal and to grow—like everyone else. Yet I understand my mind has scaring, my body has stored memories, my soul has malevolent aches, my heart has wounds...and they all have shaped me differently. Yet...I found peace within my pain... and passion and purpose too... I’m not broken, I’m wounded, and wounds can only heal if we care for them. This is a little of a lot of what PTSD embodies. I share this to remind anyone living through this that you’re not crazy, that you’re not alone and that healing is possible. The war we wage upon ourselves cannot take away the wounds we sustained from the battles on the uneven playing fields of life, but seeking peace does cease the fight; given self over to the plight of harmonious freedom from the misery moving towards the miracle of healing. You got this and you need not be ashamed, rather honour the courage it takes to brave the journey. You, your voice and your story matters.
Keep up to date with
Samantha Caroline Lavallée
I survived, and now I thrive. When I learned of this, it never set me back, it actually gave me a OneTribeMagazine.com | 49
JUST GO F****ING DO IT 50 | OneTribeMagazine.com
FEAR OF WHAT James Roberts | Podcast Host at ‘The Mindset Athlete Podcast’ Former Professional Athlete & Transformation Coach. I understand your fear of rejection, failure, and embarrassment as I, to have been there as well. The time, I have sensed real feelings of rejection came during the period in my life as an international athlete As you are taught to have those feelings of invisibility within that bubble that is sport, you have those thoughts that you are unbreakable and unstoppable. When in reality that isn’t the case. You are no different from anyone else when it comes to your emotions. I was never told these words per se, but I felt them, “You’re not good enough” in volleyball; “You’re not fast enough” in swimming and finally “You’re not tall enough” in rowing. You might say I overcame those obstacles as I pushed on regardless to fork out my career in that environment, but deep down did I truly overcome those demons inside me? I could have deemed myself a failure for not being good enough because I saw what failure was at that particular time in my life being dropped from a sport that I loved, was apart of me and my identity.
Having that embarrassment of being discarded from the sporting world. However, I was one of the lucky ones, I had a great support network around me, so was picked up before I even had a sniff of negative energy that could spiral out of control, yes there was stress leading up to that point of “I’m I going to make the times” to keep me on the program.. But what do you do when these things rear their ugly head again and again, by manifesting in something else resembling how you felt in the past? Reframe that situation, because is the situation truly as scary as the time you faced real rejection, embarrassment or failure?
We mustn’t forget that life isn’t a dress rehearsal as we haven’t got TIME to sit and wait around as we only have one life It’s “GO TIME” as my good friend Rich Wellington would say from his days in the military, I’ve heard it as “IT’S GAME TIME” to use it loosely in the sporting sense. Or as Greg Fearon would put it: JUST GO F****ING DO IT It’s your time to SHINE However, the old saying goes “You can take a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink it” So let me ask you this question; Who do you need to become to create this change in yourself?
Where does that fear of not being good enough come from? Does it stem from one’s EGO or does it come from the language we use? That question I will leave up to you to answer
Keep up to date with James Roberts
But the one thing I would say to not do is lay back and expect things to change As resistance feeds on fear. We experience resistance as fear. OneTribeMagazine.com | 51
Let Your King Have The Fullness Of His Feelings Without Interference And THIS Will Unfold. Joanna Intara | The Intimacy Genius The other night my man was feeling a lot.
his feelings...and his parts, without apology
We had just returned from Europe, were integrating our bodies, with picking up the kids from camp and getting grounded at home, while dealing with jet lag.
Without degrading himself in the process or allowing another man or woman, for that matter, to do the same. And he holds, dignifying of himself, court FOR himself, by allowing his full heart to be there.. felt, presenced and therefore met.
I was fantasizing about Italian pizza, dripping with mozzarella and prosciutto, while experiencing re-entry after vacation, which is sometimes evocative and bumpy. And he was feeling a lot of things; anxiety about returning to work with lots to do, sadness at returning to America, where we have so many shootings right now and feeling unsafe, and overwhelm at the sheer amount of tasks to get grounded before jumping back into everyday life as a father, biz owner, and husband. And some part of me noticed I wanted him to not be that way. I wanted him to hold it and be more unaffected. And saw that need of mine..came from an outdated inner template. One filled with this idea that men should hold it all as an expression of their masculine power, that if he was expressing his feelings, that maybe he might not be there for me which was a scarcity idea, or even that he might get stuck in his feelings and get moody, which is something a lot of men did around me growing up. Such outdated projected ideas! That needed updating. So I did this instead. The true Queen looks honestly, intimately and inwardly at herself. At her own inner masculine. And takes FULL responsibility for what it thinks it is supposed to do, by looking at that outdated inner template, and brings compassion 52 | OneTribeMagazine.com
to that, and presence to start with. And then finds the place in her body that holds the idea at the root. Oh, it’s her chest.. and it feels hard. Okay, and then she breathes into that hardness, fully accepting it all, instead of trying to get rid of it, or worse, interpersonally being hard on him, which is of course the outer reflection. And it softens. And opens. And she feels more tender. And supportive... and creative.. because she is not shutting down the connection with her inner parts, she is actually engaging with them, full on, even though they may seem unpopular to her. And then, on the men side, even though its hard for them to feel, Even though they live in a culture that tells them to be stoic or that they are pussy’s if they do feel, let alone express Even though they are taught that to be ‘The Man..’ means to hold court for the Queen.
And by gently but potently announcing this freedom to inhabit this domain with his Queen, respectfully and full of dignity. And because he commands his domain with such respect and sovereignty, she allows and asks, how many I support you? And the feelings he has pass, because they have been ALLOWED to be there. And his connection with himself strengthens, he is more intimate with himself, he is closer.. and his love for himself grows... And she likes this...and she needs this And their love for each other grows through this as well.. it can for you too. Which leads to all good things.. that we all want.. and need.. better sex, better love. more closeness. If there was ONE thing you could do today, to support your partner in being more safe in their emotional expression what would it be?
They FEEL.. not just as much as us women.. but perhaps even MORE... Because they have had to shove a lot down. Under what they’ve told it means to be men, or to be a king. But the new King.. he consciously and lovingly makes space for all
Keep up to date with Joanna Intara
WEBSITES & BRANDING An exclusive ONE TRIBE MAGAZINE offer. Quote ref: OTM05/19
The creative process is very simple, it all starts with a conversation to explore your goals and aspirations with Kenny Ball Creative Director at One Tribe Media. So if you would like A FREE CONSULTATION on how to become more visible online just email: kenny@OneTribe.Media and we can arrange a convenient time to chat through the amazing possibilities that await you in the digital world
The universe is a big concept. Ingrid Meijerink | Mindfulness & Creatieve Art Therapist
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We don’t even know where it ends or starts.
actually, this is the pace at which we do everything.
We do not know how old the universe is, how it works exactly, and what is present.
The earth revolves around its own axis. 24 hours a day - that is the definition we have given it. It becomes day; it becomes night. The turning continues daily.
Actually, crazy right? We are part of the planet earth. We look like ants on a small ball if you could see us from a distance. Often our thoughts are always busy, and we have no awareness of the extent of what is happening around us. The universe is being studied by many handsome minds. It goes back to the first beginnings of humanity, where people first thought the earth was flat. It is that visible part of the universe whose light was able to reach us from the very beginning. This allows us to observe around us. “It all started with the so-called big bang. It is thought that this took place around 13.75 billion years ago. The universe is always on the move. The Belgian astronomer Georges Lemaitre already indicated in 1927 that the universe was expanding and it is nowadays confirmed. It now even appears that the “wavelength” has increased by a factor of 6, which means that the universe has expanded with this factor since the light of these galaxies left. Current measurements, done by the ESA, show that the age is 13.8 billion years”. Think about it! 13.8 billion years! We are not even living a fraction of this time. I couldn’t even write it down. Furthermore, it is interesting to read that it is expected that in just as many years there will be a final crack. But we, our children, and no longer experience that!
The earth continues to rotate while it itself revolves around the sun. They dance together. And the sun dances in the galaxy en route to ...always on the move! We, humans, are usually only on the move unless we are asleep. That is also such a special phenomenon; to sleep. We close our eyes and do not know where our thoughts are going because we do not realize what is happening. Strange, right? Depending on how busy you were that day, you can give your head a rest. If you have that peace of mind in your head, you do not know where your thoughts go during your sleep. But if you are restless and have experienced a lot, then these thoughts keep wandering in your head, and your brain cannot relax. I have come to the conclusion that I don’t think much about what nature has to do with being human. Yin and Yang (nature always has a balance), we all know the symbols; the black/ white circle with an S and 2 dots in it. Or is it white/black with S and two dots in it? Yin and Yang are Chinese concepts and represent opposing principles or forces that occur in all aspects of our lives, life and the universe. It stands for cosmic duality where Yin symbolizes femininity and Yang symbolizes masculinity. They are not only each other’s opposite, but they also complement each other.
Then we all see people moving like ants.
The universe has everything that is and is not. If you would draw a line in the center of the symbol, you will see that the value of the other is also represented for both. Here in the West, we don’t think in images in our language. We call that linear. It makes it harder to understand. Is poor a member or do we have little money to spend? To my first question in which I asked: is it black/white or white/black I can therefore answer. The universe is, therefore, always on the move.
Cycling, running, driving by car and all on the way somewhere.
The human being who is part of this also consists of parts of the universe.
Office, the gym or on the way to a holiday resort to rest from the crowds around us.
All cells in the human body together form a whole but are also working separately for you.
The image that you get is when you watch a movie that is played fast but
As humans, we have an average of 37 trillion cells in our body;
But this is not why I write this piece. I realized more and more that nature is so much more comprehensive and that we do not pay enough attention to how everything is coordinated. Let us imagine that we are sitting in a rocket around the earth and watching what happens on earth.
On average, 86 billion neurons are working in our brains every day to make us move, think, feel and function! All our cells must work together to keep our bodies alive. They all arrange that themselves. A third of these cells die every two months, and new ones are created. You hardly notice this. They break due to wear or disease and give a signal with which your immune system is assessed, whether it is approved that the cell dies or whether there is a cell that has other intentions. If the immune system recognizes it, the cell undergoes so-called cell death. We call this apoptosis. It ensures that diseased cells are cleaned up and other cells are due for replacement. So be aware that you and your beautiful body and mind who are working so hard for you, are part of this entire universe. If you have a good day, a bad one will follow. It is about joining the flexibility of the universe. Follow your heart, your feelings and emotions and be aware of nature. Feel like you are - a beautiful person! Go with the flow!
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Can Mindset Be Learnt? Charmaine Barber | Transformational Coach & Writer helping professional women to Live Life Freely Most of us are held back not by our lack of abilities, skills or talents, rather, by our mindset.
which led us down a particular path which got us the results we´re now living with.
Are you shocked by that comment? I would have been many years ago but no, not anymore.
The good news is that we all have the ability to learn and to change our mindset.
Many of us grew up in an environment of lack and scarcity rather than one of abundance and plentifulness. We grew up with others feeding us their opinions and their beliefs surrounding food, money and material possessions in general. Part of the reason I think was to do with WWII.
We can develop and grow our intelligence, we can shift our mindset, so let´s embrace who we are and do it with joy. We are unique, it´s as simple as that.
People must have had to go without for days on end or they had to make what food they had stretch round the family and last a week. We grow up with either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset, or possible a mixture of both depending on what we picked up as children. We adopted those thoughts, beliefs, those opinions to a certain degree because we assumed that they were right, and of course, they had to be right because our main carers, parents or other, said they were. There´s no excuse to have a scarcity mindset but still we think that way and make the appropriate comments because it´s become a habit for us which has been passed down the generations. I´ve always been the type of person to question the status quo and to question anything which remotely smacks of conservatism. Maybe it´s because I want to rock the boat or maybe it´s because I simply want to get people thinking.
I slowly but surely have been changing my mindset over the years and get better the more I question whether or not a particular belief is serving me in my life at this present moment. The way I changed my mindset after many years of believing that everyone else was right and I was wrong, was to write those beliefs down and examine them in the cold harsh light of day, under my Charmaine microscope!
So in answer to my question at the top of this post, “Can Mindset Be Learnt?” - I can happily answer with a resounding YES, it can!
My beliefs around myself were:
Which mindset do you employ in your daily life?
I was no good. I don´t value myself. I am not as good as others. I am not worthy. I am stupid, dumb, ignorant. I am not intelligent enough in life to live the life I want.
What are you doing about your mindset today?
Do you have a fixed mindset about certain things and a growth mindset about others? Keep growing your growth mindset and rewiring that malleable brain of yours! By the way.
I will always be stupid, unintelligent, have nothing of value to say.
Those with a growth mindset outperform those with a fixed one.
I´m a failure.
Repeat to yourself every day: I have a growth mindset.
My question is, “What is right?”
These were by far, not the only beliefs I had about myself, but this would take too long to list.
There is no right, there is no wrong and there are many shades of grey in between which we learn as we get older and hopefully wiser.
It was all about judging myself at the time and comparing myself to others who I thought rightly or wrongly, were “better” than me.
We are able to grow our brain because it is like a muscle which like any muscle, if not used enough, it will degenerate after long enough of not being used. Our mindset is in turn held back by the good old primal fear of change, fear of something outside of us which will sabotage us.
Let me get one thing straight. No-one is better than anyone else. We are all equal, we just may not have been given the same opportunities when we started out in our lives, so will be starting at different points, but we are definitely equal.
The only thing that will sabotage us is us!
Just because someone has more money than you or I, doesn´t mean that they are better than us.
Changing our mindset can be learnt if we first become aware that our mindset needs to be changed. So how do we change it?
Just because they have a better place to live in, doesn´t mean that they are better than us. All it means is that we´ve made certain choices in life
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I embrace my new mindset with love, I am getting better and better at doing this every day. If you forget to do this, just do it the next day or when you remember, no worries and no stressing about it. No shame, no blame and no judgement. No worries be happy and Live Life Freely!
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Discover The Real Scotland – Discover The Real You.
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My Name Is
Andrew Ferguson Andy Ferguson | Mentor, Teacher, Facilitator & Guide (Midlife) Adventures for Mind, Body and Soul expected yet I carry on regardless putting one foot in front of the other, walking to the beat of a distant drum, that just keeps on calling to me forward.
My name is Andrew Ferguson, although I’m known to some as Andy, Ferg, Fergie, Mr Ferguson, very occasionally as Andrew and most significantly as dad. I was given no middle name but chose Christopher during my “Confirmation” when I was around thirteen, although I sometimes think that name chose me. If you know the story of St Christopher, that may give you some clue. I’d describe myself as an explorer, teacher and alchemist, a husband, father and son. I’m also a musician, cook, photographer, student, recovering professional speaker, author and sometimes dancer. My business is, to quote a recent client, “to help my clients find thier happy”. Which I do in all sorts of ways, including acting as a Mentor with a splash of coaching on the side or as a guide and facilitator. I’m heading out of Midlife on to a new third life, a third act, my very own third age. I have osteoarthritis in my knees which makes it very difficult and painful to run or ski, two things I have done for as long as I can remember, and I have a few other chronic health issues that seem to come with age. Still, I’ve had a good life, so far, a very good life if truth be told, not least because I’ve had the chance to share this great adventure with some remarkable people. Since as far back as I can remember I wanted to see the world, walk in it, play with it, explore it, ride through it, dive into it and above all understand it. I haven’t always been diligent in those pursuits though, often spending too long on diversions that serve little or no purpose or being distracted by trivia that does not seem to serve me or the world. At least that’s how it sometimes feels: Derelict in my duty to live life to the full. 58 | OneTribeMagazine.com
During this journey, I’ve learned many things, perhaps the most useful is that a teacher is someone who creates the circumstances for others to learn. In which case we are all teachers. I’ve come to understand this: We teach the world who we are, what we need and expect from it and showcase what we are prepared to offer in return. We do this every day, whether we are aware or not.
Balanced against that, I’ve been to places and done things that my younger self would have found hard to imagine never mind believe possible. I’ve had adventures and experiences any one of which by themselves would have been enough for my entire lifetime, when I was a school kid wondering how my life would turn out. I married a wonderful woman who has made my life so much richer since we met half a lifetime ago. We married twenty five years ago, almost to the day (as I write this) and have two amazing, inspiring children, who are off exploring the world doing things their way. I’ve been blessed. You could say I’ve been around for a while now, nearly six decades, long enough to have seen the world change so much yet not change at all. I am an optimist and a pessimist by turns, never quite certain what the future might bring in the way of challenges, opportunities, delights and scares. Rarely does it conform to my expectations, and I guess that’s what makes it so exciting for the explorer in me: The world keeps turning out to be nothing like I
This month I’m without my regular writing partner Larry Rosenberg, who’s off on his annual summer adventure wandering around Idaho or Montana or somewhere, so I was left wondering, “what shall I write about” and I realised what I most wanted to do was to “set this up” - a short exhibition of photos I’ve taken over the last few years on my journey. Many people say you should not look back, but as a storyteller, I know our “present” lies between where we’re headed next and where we’ve come from. The present is just the part of our story that’s happening right now. So to hell with not looking back, here are a few of the places, people and fellow Earth dwellers that have left an impression on me during my journey, thus far. I hope you find a connection through them to our wonderful world.
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What’s in your child’s stuffing?
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Living POSITIVELY Growing Up in one of the rural areas of Zambia Africa. Winnie Mabena was born with the odds set against her. Born into a culture where the society doesn’t see the value in a girls life seemed unbearable. Determined to defy the odds she was born into Winnie begins the journey determined to succeed. Suddenly her life takes a drastic near death turn. Life as she knew it would never be the same. Will Winnie choose to thrive once more or will it be too much to bare and easier to choose death?
Winnie Mabena is an International Speaker, Author, Trainer, Civil registrar and Founder of The Knowledge Effect, a nonprofit company that is working to empower communities by promoting literacy. Winnie is currently serving as Board Chairperson for Young Women in Action and for nearly three years she volunteered with Plan as a National Representative for the Youth Advisory Panel for Plan International Zambia. She has participated in various local and international consultation processes especially on ending child marriage and promoting girls rights. Her tenacity to improve lives is unrelenting thus she uses her life experience so far “ her journey as a girl and living positively” to empower and transform young women like her with knowledge on various issues including promoting education, Surviving HIV/AIDS, ending child marriage, mentorship, living a rural community, and literacy. Winnie envisions a world where people are fully empowered with knowledge to live above social problems through promoting literacy.
Her favorite quote goes by Nelly Ray “I know what giving up looks like, I want to see what happens if I don’t give up”. Her dream is to grow into a voice for the voiceless at a global level. To get to her dream Winnie keeps investing in her education and she currently pursuing her professional course in teaching methodology. She holds a Bachelor of Arts Double Major Degree in Library and Information Science and Public Administration alongside a Diploma in Management Studies from the University of Zambia.
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