satirical skit Elena Gilbertson Hall // 12
“IS A HOT DOG
Debate moderator: And now, the question the American people have been waiting for: is a hot dog a sandwich? Joe Biden: I’ll tell ya, Americans love hot dogs. White kids love ‘em, poor kids love ‘em. Regular Americans in Rust Belt cities like Milwaukee and Scranton love hot dogs. They love ‘em in Detroit and Baltimore, too. Hot dogs are part of the social fabric of this country, which this President is ripping apart every day. Kamala Harris: Senator Biden has spoken lovingly of the times 50 years ago when he was a young senator, cooking hot dogs for racist older senators. Joe, those senators wouldn’t have allowed me to eat a hot dog at the same lunch counter as you. Why didn’t you stand up to them? Beto O’Rourke: No, es un taco. Pete Buttigieg: No. Bernie Sanders: What the hell kind of question is that? First of all, of course it’s not a damn sandwich. Second of all, the factory farm industry, which spends millions to advertise on your network, would rather we talk about meaningless crap like this than about their inhumane treatment of animals or the effect of factory hog farms on climate change and water quality in our rural communities.
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Elizabeth Warren: Clearly it is not a sandwich, but let’s look at the underlying issues here. I have a policy for major structural changes to our rural economy, including livestock farming. As President, I will guarantee farmers a fair price, reduce overproduction, and pay farmers for environmental conservation instead of subsidizing industrial agriculture and starving rural communities. I will lead a full-out effort to decarbonize the agricultural sector by investing in our farmers and giving them spark
