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Vol. 28 #11 November 2022


Publishers: Tampa Bay Tammy & DJ CEO

Tampa • St. Petersburg • Clearwater • Largo • Tarpon Springs . Brandon • Bradenton • Sarasota • Lakeland Plant City

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Dear Girlfriend, I am dreading Thanksgiving. Every year my in-laws come and stay for a week. It would not be so bad if they were not the type to sit around waiting for me to serve them. I love to have company and we entertain all the time, but when they come, they act like I am their maid. They always say, “I am on vacation and I am not doing anything.” They act like they are oblivious to the fact that I am not on vacation and my workload has increased with their presence. I feel if they stay a week, every year they should not expect to be treated like guests, but like family because they are. When my mom comes she is helpful, but when they come, they wait for me to prepare dinner after I get off work. To make matters worse, they have all this stuff they cannot eat because of their diabetes. My mother-in-law always wants me to take her shopping on Black Friday. I offered her my car but she does not want to drive because she doesn’t know her way around. Well I try to stay out of the stores because I know I can’t afford to shop. She stays in the stores entirely too long and I always end up spending what I don’t have. Then she wants to go to the Casino and that’s another letter. I wish she would be more independent. I still have my children’s heads to comb. I still have to run the children to practice and prepare Thanksgiving dinner. How do I handle this? I told my husband and he has said nothing to his family. I think I am going to scream!! A Stressed Daughter-in-law Dear A Stressed Daughter-in-Law, First let’s thank God your children have grandparents that are still alive and mobile. Grandparents are an essential part of the village when it comes to raising kids. Secondly, stop acting like superwoman! You cannot change them but you can change yourself. This Thanksgiving, be proactive instead of reactive. Call your mother-in-law and tell her you are so glad she is coming because you are tired and need some help. Ask if she can cook a few of her special dishes this year. I bet she would be glad to contribute, everyone wants to be needed. Tell her she can take you to work and keep your car if she wants to go to the casino or Black Friday because you are going to use this week to rest. Be sweet, stay sweet and thank God you have a mother -in-law who loves to visit you. This also means you and your husband can run off together because you have a baby sitter. You are too blessed to be stressed. Special note to in-laws and holiday guests. Make sure when you go visit you are good and fun company and not additional work. Make up your bed, take turns cooking breakfast and offer to wash dishes sometimes without being asked, before you stop getting invited and for the holidays and they start taking trips away instead that don’t include you. no one wants to do all the work ...ever!

Need Advice? Send letter to Dear Girlfriend at Tampabaytammy@hotmail. Page 3

Atty Life Malcolm’s “Soul on Mic” at the Improv

N-Touch News

You Heard It From ME

By Publisher Daryl Johnson

Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity Annual Golf Tournament

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The Skills Center Collaborates with CareerSource & N-Touch News For Youth Economic Mobility Summit - Coversation Series On November 17th The Skills Center collaborated with CareerSource on how to garner the success of our youth. Sponsored by N-TOUCH News & Radio, the Conversation Series has two other talks lined up; The Education Equity Series on Nov. 30th and the Health Equity Series on December 14th. The Youth Success Series was held at the 5508 with Dr. Byron Clayton, Senior Vice President. of CareerSource as lead. He is the Chief of Sector Partnerships for CareerSource Tampa Bay and is leading a project for United Way Suncoast to: (a) research major factors that drive youth success, (b) assess the landscape of youth success resources across a five-county region, and (c) convene youth success leaders to identify opportunities and strategies to significantly increase impact. The Conversation Series will continue on November 30th with Helios Education Foundation. It will be led

Alicia Ojeda, Rhonda Flowers, Dr. Byron Clayton, Dr. Phildra Swagger, Dr. Sheron Brown, Kayetrenia Nichols, Dr. Marie Byrd, Mona Judge, Raquelle Hale, Dr. Bobbi Davis, Derek Watford, Celeste Roberts, Janine Ward and Lou Bramante.

by Braulio Colon, Vice President of Florida Student Success Initiative, the conversation will focus on low income and Black students. Data shows that increasing achievement rates for this distinct population is the most effective way to achieve equity in education for all students. Learn how Helios Education Foundation aims to accelerate the pace of change on this specific subpopula-

tion. Have you been sick lately? Probably not. Most of us have been watching our health for the past couple of years but sickness is beginning to creep back into the mainstream of society. When you are unhealthy, it shows in all facets of life. Come and listen to Dr. Sheron Brown, Executive Director. of TampaBay HealthCare Collaborative as she identifies

Dr.Byron Clayton,-CareerSource, Celeste Roberts-The Skills Center and Daryl Johnson-NTOUCH News

and focuses in on strategies to eliminate the education and economic disparities that affect our youth, thus putting them in unhealthy circumstances. If you have a conversation on what’s best for our youth, then reach out to Celeste Roberts of the Skills Center, so that we can hear your thoughts and input. Perhaps your ideas can be implemented too.

For Only $75 This Could have, should have, would have been Your Business Card Ad! To Advertise Call N Touch News (813)404-5287 Page 6

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“Greatness is Developed Not Discovered” By: Stanley Gray

Being a part of an organization that has as its purpose to assist the underserved African American to attain economic equity, I am asking, what will it take for the Urban League of Hillsborough County (ULHC) to garner and sustain the financial support of the African American (A.A.) Community who support Not-ForProfits? Not-For-Profit organizations such as the ULHC have a targeted focus and depend on the financial support of the community to sustain its Hands up and Collaborative efforts. Speaking for the ULHC we have a prospectus, a book keeper, banking relationships and are presently being audited to illustrate our fiduciary responsibility. In the last 2.5 years, the ULHC has spent less that 10% of its donated funds on administrative fees, it has touched over 200 elementary and middle school student with its STEM programs, over 60 youth with meaningful summer internships and internships as well as providing scholarships to assist needing college students with funds to complete their college studies. In addition, in the last 6 months alone the ULHC have assisted 5 individuals to attain

meaningful and merit based employment. The ULHC’s achievements are both guided and limited by the financial support of our Community. In 2023 we have housing, mental health and social justice initiatives to execute. In all honesty, what will it take or what should the ULHC do to attract and sustain more financial support from our giving A.A. Community? Is it reasonable for one to stack the ULHC against organizations which do not have a focus on serving the underserved A.A. community for ones giving or finical support? These shared questions are not intended to put anyone or, any organization on the spot or, to question their motivation for giving. I am asking what we, the ULHC must do to garner the support of the giving A.A. community. The truth be told, is that we have several A.A. businesses that are our all in partners but we need more. Yes, we need more to do more. Speaking for the ULHC, our best days are to come and if you would like to learn more about us, become involved with our volunteer opportunities or want to support us please reach out to us at or call us at 813-695-7422

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N-Touch News the Good News Publication Since 1996 Page 8

Ronnie Askew, Husband, Father, Moffit Cancer Survivor Celebrates his Retirement

At N-Touch News, We Support Those Who Support Us! N-Touch News N-

The Sneakers Ball

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The Sneakers Ball


Entertaining & Enlightening The Bay Area Since 1996 Page 11


It it doesn’t make Dollars it doesn’t make Cents (sense) Page 12

Go Ahead And Get Your Laugh On The Raffle

A city boy, Raju, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night.” Raju replied: “Well then, just give me my money back.” The farmer said: “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” Raju said: “OK then, just unload the donkey..” The farmer asked: “What ya gonna do with him?” Raju: “I’m going to raffle him off.” (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot - to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket) Farmer: “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!” Raju: “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.” A month later the farmer met up with Raju and asked, “What happened with that dead donkey?” Raju: “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.00.” Farmer: “Didn’t anyone complain?” Raju: “Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars.”


A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses. “Help me dear,” she groans to her husband. The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. “I’m dying here and you’re putting?” “Don’t worry dear,” says the husband calmly, “they found a doctor on the second hole and he’s coming to help you. “Well, how long will it take for him to get here?” she asks feebly. “No time at all,” says her husband. “Everybody’s already agreed to let him play through.”

Medical School

First-year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, “In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.’ For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and sucked his finger. “Go ahead and do the same thing” he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.“


A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing, and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him. As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, “Are you a good golfer?” The man replied: “Got here in two, didn’t I?”


What is the worst thing you can do if you’re being chased by cannibals, Play dead! Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg? The rooster of course What do you call a hen who could count her own eggs? A mathemachicken.

The Accountant

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf, that was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me.” The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is. Enzo signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” The lawyer tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about.” The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo’s temple and says, “Ask him again!” The lawyer signs to Enzo, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.” Enzo signs back, “OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno’s backyard in Woodbridge!” The Godfather asks the lawyer, “What did he say?” The lawyer replies, “ He says you don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.”

Talent Agent

A man walked into a talent agents office with a dog, and when asked what he could do the man told the dog to perform. The dog climbed up onto the piano bench and played several popular songs perfectly while baying and yipping with the music, then he jumped off and began doing a dance number on the floor. Just then the door opened and another larger dog walked in, picked up the first dog by the scruff of the neck and walked out the door. The agent asked the man what just happened, and the man replied, “That was his mother. She wants him to become a doctor.”

American Soldier

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middleaged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war-weary soldier asked, “Please, ma’am, may I sit in that seat?” The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed, and said “You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can’t you see my little Fifi is using that seat?” The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, “Please, lady. May I sit there? I’m very tired.” The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, “You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!” The soldier didn’t say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train, and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, “You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”

Keep Smiling, Keep on Laughing... Laughter Heals! Page 13

Rochester Jacobs Betroths Socialite Kassidy Johnson

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Rochester Jacobs Betroths Socialite Kassidy Johnson

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1409 W. Thonotosassa Rd. Plant City, Fl. 33566 (813) 719-6605

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One on One Consultation From Start to Successful Conclusion



Stephanie T Williamson General Practitioner

The hiring of a lawyer is an important decision that should not be based solely upon advertisement. Before you decide, ask for FREE written information about our qualifications and experience.

Barbara J. Pittman

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