AUGUST Issue

Vol. 27 #8 August 2021

FREE

Publishers: TAMPA BAY TAMMY & DJ CEO

Tampa • St. Petersburg • Clearwater • Largo • Tarpon Springs . Brandon • Bradenton • Sarasota • Lakeland Plant City

Looking for Somewhere to Go and How to Get There?

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Dear Girlfriend, My niece recently went away to FAMU for college and my daughter and I drove up with my sister to help get her situated. She is the first child in our family to be blessed to go away to school. Everything went very well. We met her roommate and her family and their dorm room is set up nicely. The only thing they do not have yet is a refrigerator.

I am so glad I took my daughter with us because she is more excited than ever about college. All she talks about is when she goes next year and the upcoming games we can attend. What a wonderful experience and motivator it was.

Tammy, I have kept up with your daughters since meeting your family at Bible Based church years ago. I was telling my sister about their successes. We decided we should write to you for your advice on how to gravitate through this first year without incident. Is there anything you can share with us to help us have a successful outcome too?

First Timers.

Dear First Timers, The road to success begins with compliments which breeds confidence. Always remember they are good girls but even good girls make bad decisions.

As parents we have to make sure we are not enabling them to destroy their lives and health. 1. First thing first, don’t get the refrigerator! She has a meal plan. Let her food be at the cafeteria. She will be prompted to get up and go if she does not have an alternative like a refrigerator. The cafe is where a lot of meetings and interactions are happening. You want her to enjoy her experience and not just go to class and stay in her room. People will begin to expect to see her and notice if anything is wrong. Walking to the cafeteria daily is great exercise; a short walk before their meal and a short walk after their meal. If she doesn’t have a refrigerator, she will not have dairy products in her refrigerator eating cereal and ice cream late at night. Then she will not have to deal with those freshmen 15 pounds that so many girls complain about gaining.

2. I don’t care what she says. No car for the first year! Give her a chance to see who her real friends will be and not who is her friend because she has transportation. Sadly, with a car your daughter could be everywhere but school. Your daughter could be coerced to be in another state and you would not have a clue. She shouldn’t have these options or temptations at this tender age. Peer pressure can break weak pipes.

3. Make sure she stays on campus as long as possible. She is more likely not to miss class if she wakes up late. When they are off campus and wake up late, they are more likely not to go. Off campus, there is no supervision, more trouble, more sleeping around, more drinking and rape. Tell her, she is nobody’s hoe. Tell her about the three F’s boys may come to campus using. Remind her, you did not send her there to get a baby, you sent her to get an education and if she is lucky to meet an educated young man that she is equally yoked.

4. Reiterate to your child that you are paying for those class hours so she has to be sure to get them. You don’t want to pay for classes twice.

5. Do not give them too much money. More money...more problems! Teens with too much money have a tendency to begin bad habits like cigarettes, drugs, liquor and tattoos. A little struggle makes them wiser, makes them value their dollars and want a better future.

6. Surprise visits are imperative. Pop up so you can see what’s really going on.

Be prepared to take her closest friends to eat with you. You can tell a lot about your person by the company they keep. “Birds of a feather flock together.” You want your child flying with eagles. Heed my advice and pray.

N-Touch News

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Affirming Fatherhood Virtual Conference 2021

Fight the Good Fight: Stronger Bodies, Stronger Minds September 16-17 2021 Tampa, FL Affirming Fatherhood Conference (AFC) is designed to demonstrate the valuable role of fathers and fatherhood to our present and future generations. Regardless of the path some fathers have taken to fatherhood, their roles as father are essential for healthy families, strong communities and a better world.

And now, more than ever, fathers need to be stronger both physically and mentally. This conference is always focused on reversing the negative view of fatherhood and supporting the important roles that fathers must play in their children’s lives. However, we have pivoted this year’s AFC to focus on fathers and father-figures getting their minds and bodies right to successfully fight the challenges that COVID and other issues have brought into our families.

Families need super Dad strength right now. And a variety of presenters will provide accurate and insightful information on the importance of fathers and fathering to ensure just

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that. The Conference is uniquely designed for a wide-ranging audience: •Fathers who are bringing their distinctive contributions to the job of parenting their children; •Staff providing services to fathers/ men, often striving to balance dads’ needs and those of other family members the staff serve; •Policy makers and advocates working to enhance the rights of fathers to be part of their children’s lives; •Any one interested in advancing the positive results of fathering as supported by current research and practice. A variety of presenters will provide accurate and insightful information on the importance of fathers and fathering. The men, women, service providers, community leaders and other stakeholders who attend will be elevated, enlightened and equipped to engage fathers as essential parts of children’s lives.

Registration is $75.00 for one day, $100 for two days.

The Wedding & Reception of Jermaine & Jacqueline Ward

Grandparents

The Father Daughter Dance

Mothers of the Bride & Groom

Angie Foreman

Tasha Ward

N-Touch News, The Good News Resource Since 1996. It’s a Family Affair!

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In Memory of STEVEN EFFLER On Wednesday, August 4th, the world lost an amazingly loving soul, Steven Effler.

Steven Effler was a Bronze Star decorated Army Veteran who served during Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Steven graduated high school in Chicago. He earned his Bachelors and continued his education to attain his Masters from Troy University.

Steven married his soul mate on March 23rd 2014. Steven worked as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor at River Oaks in Riverview Florida and also owned a private practice called U Do Matter Counseling.

While working a full time job, Steven taught a concealed weapon license class on the weekends as well as hosted a Mental Health podcast at N-Touch Radio.

Steven often attended Bible Based Fellowship Church.

Steven leaves his wife Jennifer Anderson Effler of Tampa, his mom Penny Goodfellow of Chicago and

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his sister Janice Collins of Tampa.

Steven frequently enjoyed a smooth cigar, so his family planned a memorial gathering at one his favorite cigar spots, Casa De Monte Cristo.

Steven’s will be buried with full military honors at Florida National Cemetery. Steven was loved by many and will truly be missed.

Rest in Peace Steven!

Celebrating the life of STEVEN EFFLER @ Casa De Monte Cristo

To Receive N-Touch News monthly digitally, click the Subscribe button at ntouchnews.com N-Touch News

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Photos by: Days Lasting Images & Photography

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Happy Birthday Judy!

N-Touch News, Serving the Tampa Bay Area Since 1996 Photos by: Days Lasting Images & Photography

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HBCU in South Carolina Offers Free Tuition A small historically Black college in South Carolina is offering all full-time students free tuition for the upcoming 2021-22 academic year.

Clinton College President Lester McCorn made the announcement last week for qualifying full-time students at the school in Rock Hill.

The school had already made the commitment to slash fall tuition by 50 percent for its students, and offer every student a new tablet, news outlets reported. But now the college is making tuition free as the school hopes to ensure their students get a college education despite financial hardships brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic.

Each full-time student will also get a free Microsoft Surface laptop, McCorn said. “It has been taxing for each and everyone of us,” McCorn said of the pandemic. “At Clinton College, we have done our best to keep the school moving forward and providing a quality education, even in a virtual environment.”

Clinton College was one of many schools estab-

lished by the African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church during Reconstruction years, to help eradicate illiteracy among freedmen. It has operated continuously for 120 years.

The school is among a wave of smaller schools around the state offering free tuition to students during the pandemic, The Herald reported. Spartanburg Community College is currently offering students a similar deal to anyone taking a minimum of six credits — or two courses — while Denmark Technical College recently offered to waive the costs for the first 500 applicants for the fall semester.

“We want to make sure you can perform with excellence without excuse,” he said.

The school’s website lists the cost of tuition for full-time students at $4,960 per semester, while a full year costs $9,920.

Students who are vaccinated can live on campus and will still be responsible for paying room and board. Those who attend full-time and live off campus can continue their courses online free of charge.

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Adult Humor

Go Ahead and Get your Laugh On

Riddles

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and goodlooking?

They already have boyfriends.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see whats in the fridge and go to bed.

Married women come home, see whats in bed and go to the fridge

Senior Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the ‘Senior Special’ was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

“Sounds good,” my wife said, “but I don’t want the eggs.”

“Then I’ll have to charge you $3.49 because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned her.

“You mean I’d have to pay more for not taking the eggs?” my wife asked incredulously.

“Yes,” said the waitress.

“I’ll take the special, then,” my wife said. “How do you want your eggs?” the waitress asked.

“Raw and in the shell,” my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.

Don’t mess with Seniors!

Five Important Qualities:

1. Its important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. Its important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. Its important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesnt lie to you.

4. Its important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. Its very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

The Tooth Fairy

I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter suddenly woke up. Seeing the money in my hand, she cried out, “I caught you!”

I froze and tried to think of an explanation for why I, instead of the tooth fairy, was putting the money under her pillow--but her next words let me off the hook.

“You put that money back!” she said indignantly. “The tooth fairy left that for me!”

Retired

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.

We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?”

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a bunch of bad names. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife started saying more mean things. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.

The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didnt care. We came into town by bus.

Positions

There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pregnancy checkups.

The doctor asked the first woman “in what position was the baby conceived?”

“He was on top,” she replied.

“You will have a boy,” the doctor exclaimed.

The second woman was asked the same question. “I was on top,” was the reply. “You will have a baby girl,” said the doctor.

With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears. “Whats the matter?” asked the doc.

“Am I going to have puppies?”

The Surgeon

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a wellknown heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc can I ask you a question?”

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fixem, put em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, whispering to the mechanic.....”Try doing it with the engine running!”

Nurse Jenny

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. “Shes incredibly dumb.

She does everything absolutely backwards.” said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!”

The second doctor said, “That’s nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!”

Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall.

“Oh my God!” said the first doctor, “I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smiths boil!”

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Adult Humor

The Wedding

A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."

The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."

The Alcoholic

A really sloppy drunk is draped over the bar. The bartender tells him, "OK, youve had enough. Im not going to serve you anymore, so get out of here and go home."

The drunk leaves the bar. Ten minutes later the drunk comes back in through the back door. The bartender tells him, "I told you to go home, Im not serving you anything more, youve had enough, now go home."

The drunk leaves again.

Fifteen minutes later the drunk comes back through another side door. The bartender says, "What is the matter with you? I keep telling you, youve had enough already, and Im not going to serve you anymore, now go home!"

The drunk looks up at the bartender and asks, "How many places do you work at?"

The Plane Crash

A plane is crashing into the sea and all the passengers are preparing for the crash.

An Indian woman begins to put all the scarves she has on, when asked why she replies because the rescue planes always look for bright colors, ill be seen for sure A Chinese woman begins to put on all her jewelry when asked why she replies the rescue planes always look for shiny objects, ill be seen for sure.

All of a sudden a black woman begins to take off all her clothes when asked why she replies every time there is a crash the first thing they look for is the black box.

Keep On Laughing...Laughter Heals!

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N-Touch News

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