adding Sylvan to your after-school routine will ensure your child gets the support they need to
PERSONALIZED
TUTORING
IN-PERSON OR ONLINE
Proven, personal and intensive tutoring programs with Guaranteed Results
• Your child will get a highly customized and adaptive learning plan that ensures he or she masters skills in math, reading, writing and more!
• Online or face-to-face attention and dedicated learning time with expert, caring Sylvan-certified teachers.
• You'll see a direct impact in the school with state-aligned curriculum.
and stay on track all year long!
Homework Support
In-Person or Online
If your child typically keeps up in class but needs extra support with homework
• We tailor each session to your child’s individual needs, so concepts really click. Plus, your child can get help with a wide variety of homework subjects.
• Our homework tutors understand today’s teaching methods, so what your child learns at Sylvan aligns with what’s expected in school.
• Reduce stress and frustration for both you and your child. (And restore calm at home!)
All thoughts turn to gratitude this month as families prepare the biggest meal of the year and gather together to enjoy it. To be sure you and your loved ones remember all there is to be thankful for, Family Life magazine shares ways to appreciate what’s good in your life (page 12). And, we even give some helpful tips for managing the picky eaters around your Thanksgiving table (page 16)!
Autumnal weather may make your list of best things about November, and our fall family fun article (page 10) offers some outdoor adventure suggestions. From festivals and seasonal foods to pumpkin
picking and perennial planting, the opportunities are endless!
As the year begins to wind down, it’s time for high school seniors to gear up for their futures. Our investment expert offers advice for saving toward and making post-graduation plans (page 18). And, while it’s something no one likes to think about, ways to discuss traumatic events with children is addressed (page 22). This edition comes full circle with a humorous reminder that hosting the holidays may be one person’s nightmare but another’s dream come true (page 32). Here’s to finding your gratitude … even in the challenging moments!
My 10-year-old (and TikTok) get most of the credit for this recipe. When your son comes in the kitchen asking to bake together and promising it won’t make a mess, it’s hard to say no. He had found a recipe on TikTok that he wanted to make, but after many times of us trying those 20-second recipes that claim to be “so easy,” I was not too optimistic.
We went over the recipe, made some additions and changes, and 15 minutes later, these amazing cookies came out of the oven. They were so good that not only did he eat three after they came out of the oven, I let him have them for breakfast this morning. Peanut butter equals protein, so I shouldn’t feel too guilty, right?
This is a great recipe to make with your kids, they can even make it on their own after you go over the instructions. These were even better the next day after they crisped up a bit. Hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
Karen Nochimowski is the author of the cookbook 6-Minute Dinners (& More!), featuring more than 100 simple recipes. Karen started and runs Momma Chef’s Soup Kitchen and Momma Chef’s Little Free Pantries. Part of her cookbook proceeds go toward feeding those facing food insecurity.
4-Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies
Prep time: 5 mins
Cook time: 10 mins
Serves: 12 cookies
3/4 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 egg
Instructions:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Mix all of the ingredients above in a small bowl until well combined.
Using a tablespoon, form dough into 1-inch balls with the palms of your hands. Place on parchment paper-lined baking sheet.
You can then use a fork to slightly press down the cookies in both directions to make a pretty design.
Place the baking sheet into the oven and bake for 8-10 minutes, making sure the bottoms do not burn.
Let cool and enjoy!
Sing Along with the Show
Experience Encanto: The Sing-Along Film Concert, where a live band plays music while guests watch the full film. Encanto lovers of all ages have the opportunity to sing along with their favorite Grammy Award-winning songs like “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” and “Surface Pressure.” Fans are encouraged to dress up as their favorite characters. Tickets: $40–$100. Kids 12 and under get 50 percent off tickets. Thursday, November 21. Sonoma State University Weill Hall. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. Buy tickets at gmc.sonoma.edu/ encanto-the-concert
Doll and Toy Shopping Time
Kick off your holiday shopping with the Santa Rosa Holiday Doll Show hosted by the Redwood Empire Doll and Study Club. More than 80 tables of dealers selling antique and modern dolls and toys create an environment for learning, celebrating, and treasure hunting. Admission $6; children under 12 free with adult. Lunch available for purchase. For $50, a Fashion Doll Reclamation Event lets participants choose a cast-off cleaned and restored fashion doll and leave with a customized doll, new skills, and a treasured memory. Ages 7+. Space is limited. 10 a.m.–3:30 p.m. Sunday, November 3. Santa Rosa Veterans Building. 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. Find more details at santarosadollshow.blogspot.com.
Winter Lights for Winter Nights
Starting the day after Thanksgiving, Winter Lights is Sonoma County’s destination for season-long holiday fun. Kicking off with a tree lighting ceremony Friday, November 29, Old Courthouse Square becomes illuminated with festive lights. Through the new year, visitors can glide across the Skating on the Square synthetic ice rink surrounded by twinkling lights and holiday merriment. Skating rink hours (rain or shine), are Thursdays–Fridays, 4–8 p.m.; Saturdays–Sundays, Noon–8 p.m. (special hours on Tuesdays, December 24 and 31). Skate rental is included in admission price. Learn more, choose your skate date, and find ticket prices at tinyurl.com/4dhsvp95.
Encanto: The Sing-Along Film Concert Winter Lights
Honor Veterans and Active Duty Military
The annual Veterans Day Celebration features the Avenue of the Flags, a heartfelt tribute displaying flags that once draped the caskets of honored veterans. Attendees will hear from a veteran keynote speaker, witness a presentation of colors by the U.S. Coast Guard, and enjoy musical performances by the Rohnert Park Community Band. Girl Scouts conduct a flag retirement ceremony, and Rohnert Park residents and their family members who are actively serving in the military will be recognized through the Military Banner Program. Monday, November 11. 11 a.m.–Noon. Rohnert Park Community Center. 5401 Snyder Ln., Rohnert Park. Learn more at tinyurl. com/27mhffmt
Brick Palooza LEGO Festival
Ahuge exhibition of LEGO art, play areas, and hands-on activity booths. Bring your imagination to the Building Zone, meet the master builders, and shop from LEGO vendors that will be selling all kinds of LEGO-related products and services. Bulk LEGO by the pound, individual mini-figures, jewelry, T-shirts, new and used sets, vintage and classic. Food and drinks will be available for purchase. Tickets range from $12–$30. Children 4 and under, free. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Saturday, November 23. Santa Rosa Veterans Building. 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. Find more details or purchase tickets at tinyurl.com/yc8fed6d
Santa’s Riverboat Arrival
Santa and Mrs. Claus make a unique arrival when they sail up the Petaluma River on a tugboat and dock at River Plaza Shopping Center. Saturday, November 30. 11:30 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Take photos with Santa and Mrs. Claus until 1:30, then take your holiday shopping list and make the short walk to historic downtown Petaluma for Shop Small Saturday featuring special offers and activities. River Plaza Shopping Center. 50 E. Washington St., Petaluma. For more information, visit tinyurl.com/56atcxdy
Santa’s Riverboat Arrival
Brick Palooza
Veterans Day Celebration
Fall Family Fun Outdoorsy Adventures for Everyone
By Kimberly Blaker
Summer may be seen as the outdoor season, but autumn also offers lots of opportunities for outdoor fun. Try some of these family activities, and fill your kids’ senses with delight.
Enjoy a color tour. National parks and forests are the places to be in the fall. Contact your nearest National Park, and find out when fall colors will be at their peak and recommended routes for picturesque views.
Host a campfire cookout. If outdoor fires are permitted in your area, have the kids round up neighborhood friends for a cookout. Hot dogs, hot chocolate, marshmallows, and s’mores are a traditional way to top off the season. Have everyone take turns telling stories around the fire. If you have little ones, check out library books with autumn themes to read.
Attend a football game. Gather your blankets and head to the stadium. High school, college, and pro football games are great fun the whole family. Take along a bag of popcorn and thermos of hot cocoa, then snuggle up and get ready to cheer on your team.
Visit an apple orchard. Take your kids apple picking, and top off the day with cider and doughnuts, a hayride, and end-of-the-year picnic. Make a scarecrow. What’s fall without a scarecrow on your porch? They are easy to make. Buy a couple bails of straw, then have each family member gather old clothes and hats. Stuff it and use string to tie off the hands, feet, and head.
Walk in the woods. As flies and mosquitoes retreat, it’s the perfect time of year for a walk in the woods. Look for animals scurrying about gathering for the long, cold months ahead. Don’t forget your binoculars. Contact state and local parks for wooded trails near you.
Leaf fun. Remember as a kid diving into the crisp fall leaves? Grab the rakes and have your youngsters pitch in. Pile up the leaves to jump in, build a fort, and even have a friendly leaf battle.
Find a festival. Apple, pumpkin, fall harvest, and many more festivals are found this time of year featuring food, arts and crafts, kids’ games, pony and wagon rides, and more. Visit your local events website online to see what’s coming up.
Visit a pumpkin patch. Begin a family tradition of picking your pumpkins from a patch. After cleaning out the pumpkins, make roasted pumpkin seeds, a yummy treat that kids love. Rinse the seeds, pat them dry, and coat with melted butter. Spread the seeds on a cookie sheet, sprinkle with salt, and bake at 350 until golden brown. Be sure and stir them occasionally.
Bird migration watch. As fall fills the air, many birds begin to head south. Contact State and National parks or your Department of Natural Resources for recommended birding locations as well as bird festivals.
Shift through a cornfield maze. Kids delight in finding their way through cornfield mazes. To find a maze near you, visit cornmazesandmore.org.
Plant perennials and bulbs. Let your kids try out their green thumbs. After all, fall is the time of year to plant perennials and flower bulbs. Have children choose some plants from the gardening store, and give them the opportunity to help design the garden. A hand-painted rock or two adds color until the spring blossoms bloom.
Take a railroad excursion. With the colors of fall blazing under bright blue skies, a scenic railroad excursion is a sure bet. Check with your local travel agency for nearby excursions.
Hold a pumpkin sale. Have little entrepreneurs set up a pumpkin stand in your front yard. Find an orchard where pumpkins are cheap, then have your kids purchase a small stock to
sell for a higher price. Hot cocoa, baked pumpkin seeds, or doughnuts make good commercial additions to the stand.
are available in hobby stores and online for making bird feeders. To make one from scratch, visit your library and check out a book on how to build a birdhouse, or find free instructions on the Internet.
If you have little ones, check out library books with autumn themes to read. DECEMBER 7, 10AM-4PM DECEMBER 8, 10AM-4PM
Horseback rides. Head to the stables and enjoy the fall colors on horseback. For horse rental listings by state visit horseback riding sites or search stables online.
Make a bird feeder or house. Kids will enjoy the carpentry experience and marvel at watching birds make use of their creation. Kits
Parades and marching bands. Find out when your local college or high school will hold its homecoming parade. Be sure to take a blanket and snacks, and enjoy the colorful floats, majorettes, cheerleaders, and marching band. Also, don’t forget the spectacular Thanksgiving Day parades in many communities or on TV. ❖
Kimberly Blaker is a freelance writer. She also owns an online bookshop, Sage Rare & Collectible Books, specializing in out-of-print, scarce, signed, and first editions; fine bindings; ephemera and more at sagerarebooks.com
Giving Thanks
Fill Up Your Family with Gratitude
By Christina Katz
Gratitude fills us up. Inner appreciation helps us stop needing things outside ourselves for satisfaction. At Thanksgiving and year-round, attitude strengthens relationships, reduces stress, improves health, and helps us feel happier.
But maybe your family has gotten away from noticing what they appreciate. Gratitude isn’t automatic, after all. But it is a habit you can practice in a few simple steps. Follow these steps to get back in the gratitude groove.
Step one: Put the kibosh on complaining, criticizing, or gossiping for a specified amount of time like one week or even a month. Discuss
the meaning of these three words with your family. Playfully bust each other when one of you breaks a rule. You will, and that’s OK. Build awareness of negative habits rather than shaming, and then redirect attention in a more positive direction.
Step two: Explain that having legitimate needs and expressing them is important. If negative communication persists, try
Be as present as possible when interacting with others.
interrupting them with the question, “What do you need right now?” You might discover that meeting basic needs helps everyone shift into a more positive attitude. And don’t be afraid to ask yourself, “What do I need?”
Once everyoner is getting needs met, or at least getting needs on a schedule to be met, gratitude flows in.
Step three: Recognize what you feel grateful for throughout the day. Try to pause several times a day when you feel happy and discover the source, so you can model the habit for the rest of your family.
Step four: Acknowledge something you feel grateful about by writing it down or saying it aloud to someone else. Or do both. Gratitude becomes more positive when appreciated by you and others.
Step five: After you recognize something to feel grateful for, sit with it for at least a count of 10. Make your gratitude process at least as long as several deep breaths. This way you make something positive a little bigger and start to reap the benefits of your gratitude practice immediately.
Need more help? Try these techniques until they become habits ...
1. Find something around you right now to appreciate. Look around the room. What do you see, smell, hear, taste, or feel? Our senses help us connect with our appreciation.
2. Notice how children set an example of spontaneous gratitude and follow their leads. Approach your day through a child’s eyes.
3. Post reminders of things you appreciate about family members on sticky notes. Leave a message on the coffee pot for your spouse. Put a note in with lunch. Get in the habit of leaving notes on go-to screens throughout the house.
Find something around you right now to appreciate.
4. Keep an ongoing list of something you are grateful for right now. Use the notes app in your smart phone to keep track or keep a memo pad in your purse.
5. Write something you appreciated on the calendar as the sun sets each
day. Then look back at your calendar and remember the month fondly.
6. Take a moment to recollect what inspires awe in you whether changing seasons, a person who lifts you up, or someone who is really good at what they do. Check in regularly with these inspiring touchstones.
7. Appreciate mistakes you make. Tell your children stories of how bouncing back from misjudgments makes you a more humble person, who is not afraid to be human.
8. Say something kind to someone. Tell folks what you admire about them. If you like what a person is wearing, say so.
9. Discuss lessons learned in the past. Turn them into a list of
character-building stories about your life.
10. Appreciate something with another person. Remarking, “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” helps you both focus on the positive.
11. Don’t keep good news to yourself. Notice good service and offer feedback about it before you forget. If you can’t get your hands on a comment card, ask to speak to a manager and report good employees.
12. At a weekend meal, ask everyone to share best moments of the week. You can do this around the dinner table or at tuck-in time. Even once a week is better than never. If kids are feeling down, ask for a positive and a negative memory to balance feelings.
13. Thank someone daily for something no matter how small. If you want your kids to be more grateful, thank them for things you appreciate. Gratitude begets gratitude.
Thank someone daily for something no matter how small.
14. Appreciate nature and the earth. Stop to smell a flower or pick up a pretty stone to take home and display.
15. In moments that are hard, appreciate the opportunity to grow in character, even if you don’t like what is happening.
16. Be as present as possible when interacting with others. Put your
phone down or stop what you are doing. Be attentive, not distracted.
17. Find a cause and contribute time, money, or energy. Then be sure to share the experience with your kids.
18. Accept a compliment, whenever one is offered. Stop, smile, and say thank you. Practice self-kindness so you can offer kindness to others.
19. Use your phone to alert you to pause for a moment and find something to feel grateful about. Add it to your gratitude list or just relax for a minute and savor the moment. ❖
Author, journalist and writing coach Christina Katz flexes her happy muscles daily by stopping and appreciating the little things as well as the people around her.
Hepatitis B Polio I
California law requires children entering TK or kindergarten to have these immunizations:
Diphtheria, Pertussis, and Tetanus (DPT) Measles, Mumps, and Rubella (MMR)
Varicella (Chickenpox)
Proper nutrition is a critical component of learning and development. At the Redwood Empire Food Bank, we’re committed to ensuring every child in our community has the nutrition they need to succeed throughout the school year. Together, we can provide nutritious meals that empower students to focus, engage, and thrive in their studies.
Discover how you can make a di erence at refb.org
Synergy Family Services offers post-adoption wraparound care to transform family dynamics through a family systems approach. We empower families with tools for emotional regulation, success in school, managing household tasks, and engaging in meaningful activities. Our services foster stronger connections and holistic well-being for adopted children and their families. As part of our support, we may cover certain costs if they align with the family’s plan and promote positive growth. Together, we create lasting, positive change.
Finicky Eaters
How to Survive Holiday Meal Time
By Gina Rich
Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. Not only does it occur during the same month as my birthday, but a holiday devoted entirely to relaxing with family while enjoying delicious carb-laden foods is right up my alley.
When I was growing up in California, my family usually celebrated Thanksgiving at our house, with friends joining us on occasion. Though it’s been over a decade since we were all together for the holiday, both my nose and my tastebuds can still recall those days in vivid detail: Waking up to the scent of onions and butter sizzling on the stove; taking my first bite of tart cranberry sauce; filling my belly with a second or third helping of stuffing, which was always my favorite.
The most important aspect of Thanksgiving is spending time with each other.
When it came to preparing the feast, my dad typically ran the show, which meant the meal involved at least eight sticks of butter, and giblets were always, always mixed into the stuffing. Yes, I know giblets make some people cringe, but the point is, I loved it all.
Naturally, I assumed my enthusiasm for Thanksgiving fare would carry
over to my two children. I was wrong.
Enter my daughters, who at the tender ages of 7 and 5 years, have already distinguished themselves as two of the most finicky eaters in our entire extended family.
Though my husband and I have continually encouraged our daughters to try different foods, their tolerance for cuisine other than plain noodles and carrot sticks is alarmingly limited. One child refuses cheese in all forms. The
If they want something other than what we’ve prepared for the meal, they have to make it themselves.
other will eat cheese, but only if it’s not melted, so mac ‘n’ cheese is a no-go in our house. Both prefer their “pizza” served to them as a naked crust void of ingredients (may as well just call it toast at that point). And sadly, neither has developed an affinity for any of the Thanksgiving dishes I’ve loved for so long: Turkey, stuffing (oh, the stuffing!!), mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie.
At last year’s holiday, faced with a delightful spread of traditional dishes that no sane person could refuse, my daughters turned up their noses and decided to subsist on rolls, a few slivers of lettuce from the salad, and the chicken nuggets we hastily heated up for them.
Our family is hosting Thanksgiving this year, and while I’m very excited about getting everyone together, I’m
also dreading the fact that I will once again have to contend with my daughters’ stubborn palates.
So after some hand-wringing on this issue, I’ve decided to do things a bit differently this time around. I’m hoping the following guidelines will preserve my sanity:
First, my kids are in charge of choosing which foods go onto their plates. I’ll encourage my daughters to serve themselves from the variety of dishes I’m planning on preparing. What specific foods they choose to eat, and how much they consume, is up to them. If they want to eat four dinner rolls and a few bites of green beans instead of a more balanced meal that contains actual protein — while this makes me cringe — it’s their decision.
Second, if they want something other than what we’ve prepared for the meal, they have to make it themselves. So you refuse turkey and want peanut butter on plain
I assumed my enthusiasm for Thanksgiving fare would carry over to my two children. I was wrong.
bread? Go for it, kiddo! You know where the supplies are. Oh, and you want plain toast instead of stuffing? Splendid. There’s the toaster right over there; you know how to use it.
Third, I’ll remind myself that, while food is a key part of the holiday
and I’d love my daughters to expand their palates and enjoy this tradition as much as I do, the most important aspect of Thanksgiving is spending time with each other. It’s true: No matter what my daughters eat (or don’t!), the holiday will be special, simply because our family is together.
Plus, assuming my kids don’t eat any stuffing, that just means I can have extra helpings later.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! ❖
Gina Rich lives in Wisconsin, where she writes about parenting, health, and the natural world for publications including the Washington Post, Notre Dame Magazine , and others.
sandyloam.org/enrichmentprograms Our program for students in K-5th grades provides farm, nature, and art-based experiences during local schools’ early-release hours, as well as for home schooled children. Engaging activities and projects are introduced continuously, following themes that are inspired by the children’s and teacher’s interests. Homework support and a snack are provided.
Wed. 1pm-4:30pm, extended care available 11:30am-1pm
175 West Sierra, Cotati 707-664-5347
Planning Beyond High School Choosing a Path and Saving for the Future
By Devon Copeland
It may come as a surprise to no one, but Gen Z looks at their future prospects a little differently than the generations before them. The route to post-high school education continues to evolve as educators, parents, and students redefine success. Some parents have been saving for their child’s education years before starting a family, while others started saving later, and still others fear it may be too late to begin.
With rising college tuition costs and hidden expenses, the fear is valid but not insurmountable. The cost to attend a traditional four-year institution is increasing at an average rate of 8 percent annually, meaning the cost of college doubles every nine years. Fortunately, there are many different paths to success
and 529 accounts can help every step of the way.
Students Share the Financial
Burden A 2023 Sallie Mae study revealed that 56 percent of families rely on their students to help pay for higher education in some capacity. The good news is, as students prepare for the next steps in their education,
they are also thinking about financial feasibility, responsibility, and their futures.
According to research by the College Savings Foundation, Gen Z students want to work and help pay their way. And if you’re wondering what students want for their birthdays and graduations, 73 percent say they would prefer contributions to a 529 account rather than material gifts.
Community College
Enrollment on the Rise
Attending community college first is another way to alleviate some of the financial burden of higher education. In the fall of 2023, community colleges saw a 2.6 percent increase — 118,000 students — the highest increase in any higher education sector. Depending on your student’s chosen path, attending community college for two years can save your family up to $50,000, making it a cost-effective first step toward a degree.
The Trade School Trend A more significant percentage increase, vocational-focused community college jumped 16 percent last year, the highest recorded increase to date. Trade certifications often offer flexible learning options and students have more of an opportunity to set their schedule and pace. This can potentially reduce the time needed to earn a credential, making it a more affordable option. Many trades also offer apprenticeship programs, through which the apprentice is earning an income while also learning their trade.
Recent reports indicate Gen Z sees the most potential in the trades, earning them the nickname of the
“toolbelt generation.” According to a USA Today survey, 83 percent of Gen Zers believe that learning a skilled trade can lead to better economic security than college, including 90 percent of those who already have college degrees.
Think of the fastest-growing trade in the U.S. right now — wind turbine technicians. At the highest pay level, wind turbine technicians can make over $100,000 per year. By 2032, job growth is expected to increase by 45 percent and most trades are expected to follow a similar upward trend.
Choosing the Best Path No matter the direction your child chooses, a flexible 529 savings plan can accommodate your child’s personal dreams and professional
goals. Money invested in a 529 account can be used at in-state, out-of-state, public, or private schools, as well as community colleges, trade schools, graduate programs, some international schools, K-12 tuition,
529 accounts can also be used to pay down student loan debt up to $10,000, a significant dent in the national average of $28,940 as of 2024. And, beginning this year, unused funds from a 529 account can roll over to a Roth individual retirement account (IRA) in the account beneficiary’s name without incurring tax penalties.
While the educational landscape will continue to shift, it’s never too early or too late to start saving for the future. ❖
registered apprenticeship programs and certification programs. Plenty of resources are available at your fingertips to help plan your savings contributions or estimate your child’s financial aid eligibility.
A mom of two, Devon Copeland is an experienced communications professional with more than 10 years background in research, education, and trends. She is Senior Communications Associate for Invest529, where she develops and integrates strategic plans to advance Invest529’s mission to make higher education more accessible and affordable for families and individuals.
www.pathwayscharter.org
Tough Talks
Discussing Traumatic Situations with Kids
By Josette Sullins
Being hypersensitive when talking about violent and/ or traumatic events — like school shootings — with children is beneficial. As parents, our natural instincts are activated to protect, and creating that safe space for communication with our children begins within.
Start with an inventory of your own mental health. Having a personal time out with yourself to feel and let some of the gut-wrenching emotions process is important. Take the time needed to find clarity on what you actually want to relay. If need be, take a walk, journal, or listen to calming music. Being centered and as calm as possible prior to discussing a sensitive topic with anyone, especially our children, is important. Your child’s emotions and their need for comfort play a role in how involved the conversation will be. Pay attention to their cues.
Creating a safe place and time for open communication with your child and possibly getting professional guidance can help in this area. Because children are unique in age, life experiences, social, emotional, and mental development, professional advice helps us address topics or occurrences of violence at the appropriate level.
Symptomology occurring from even vicarious trauma can have damaging effects regardless of the age of the child. Any type of overstimulation has an effect on children which may cause
developmental delays. Being exposed in any way including vicariously to violence can cause trauma, PTSD, behavioral disorders, and some scholars are even discussing possible moral injuries.
When there is trauma or overstimulation, our survival instincts may be activated. Making sure your child’s needs are met, routines are kept, and they are comfortable you can aid in their feeling safe. Assist them in being able to find some sort of calm happy space at home, in the car, and in public.
Being centered and as calm as possible prior to discussing a sensitive topic with anyone, especially our children, is important.
Professional help is always recommended for any child who has been exposed to acts of violence. There are countless factors that play into a child’s mental health, safety, and well-being that are taken into consideration by a trained professional. Children do not always show signs of distress right away. Sometimes grown children will share times when, at a very young age, they did not feel safe or supported, or suffered immensely without the knowledge of their parents.
Reaching out for professional help for yourself is also an option. Children take their first cues from parents on how to interact and receive information. The
more traumatized we feel in communicating the event and topic, the more likely our children will be from hearing it. The more trauma-informed communication style we have as parents, the better our children will be able to receive the information, and the greater likelihood they will feel safe to respond and ask questions about an event. Applying the same safe space you created for your children for yourself is equally beneficial.
Realize that you do not have to respond immediately to your children’s questions or have all, if any, of the answers. Being real and stating you need more time to calm down, think about their questions, or get professional advice, gives you
and your child the opportunity to take a step back to process. It allows for an honest, safe, and comfortable pace and atmosphere.
Ignoring the topic, minimizing the impact, or not foreseeing the aftermath are not options. Trauma, PTSD, depression, and other behavioral health disorders do not commonly fade or go away by themselves. They may lie dormant for a years and are likely to surface
during teenage years to early adulthood.
As a parent, it is important to realize the growing need for mental health check ins, self-care days, and open conversations throughout children’s development. It is also equally important to realize and care for your own mental health.
Normalizing mental health not only lets go of the stigmas around the topic but can lead to healthier relationships and a more rewarding life. Mental health is becoming the new buzz word for self-care. Teaching and supporting healthy-care is essential to well-being.❖
Josette Sullins is CEO of dehp Therapeutics licensed integrated clinics, dIT creator and dehp coach.
November Calendar of Events
Friday 1
FREE Teen Pride (un)Book Club. Everyone reads whatever they like within a single theme: Books that center on LGBTQIA+ voices. Safe & inclusive place for teens (and allies) to connect. Snacks & drinks provided. Nov. 1, 3:30–4:30 p.m. Cloverdale Library. 401 N. Cloverdale Blvd., Cloverdale. Nov. 22, 4–5 p.m. Sebastopol Library. 7140 Bodgea Ave., Sebastopol. tinyurl.com/4hfdnzfn
Friday Night Films. Experience the Oscar–winning classic, Citizen Kane (1941), in conjunction with the
exhibition Bravo, Snoopy! Peanuts & Pawpet Theater. $10 per person (popcorn included). Members receive 20% off. Tickets can be purchased in advance or at the door. 7–9 p.m. Charles Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. tinyurl.com/ d6hn6dzs.
The Big Bounce America. An action-packed, family-friendly day featuring the world’s biggest bounce house. $22–$45. Parking $10. Nov. 1–3. Sonoma-Marin Fairgrounds. 175 Fairgrounds Dr., Petaluma. Full schedule/age levels/times: tinyurl.com/ b82pxf98.
Alice in Wonderland. A Theater for Children’s production for young audiences. Dress in your favorite costume for a Mad Tea Party activity 30 minutes before the show. $7 per person. Nov. 1: 7 p.m. Nov. 2: 1 & 3 p.m. Nov. 3: 3 p.m. Steele Lane Community Center. 415 Steele Lane, Santa Rosa. atheaterforchildren.com
Saturday 2
FREE Holiday Craft Fair. Unique, handcrafted gift items from local artisans. Hot spiced cider as you browse and homemade soup, chili, & cookies. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Cloverdale Senior Multi-Purpose
The Redwood Empire Doll & Study Club present our annual Santa Rosa Holiday
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 3 • 10AM-3:30PM
Santa Rosa Veterans Building 1351 Maple Ave. Santa Rosa (Across from the Fairgrounds) FREE PARKING
Admission $6 ($1 off with this ad) Children under 12 free with adult Lunch available on-site from Lone Pine General Store We belong to the United Federation of Doll Clubs santarosadollshow.blogspot.com
Lewis Carroll
the stories of
Jason Pizarello Adapted by
Emily Stockert Directed by TICKETS!
Join Alice on her hilarious adventure down the rabbit hole!
Center. 311 N. Main St., Cloverdale. cloverdalechamber.com
FREE Boutique Craft Fair. Local artisan crafts. Different vendors/ crafters on the second weekend. Nov. 2–3 & 9–10: 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Sonoma Valley Women’s Club. 574 First St. E., Sonoma. members.sonomachamber. org/event-calendar.
FREE Let’s Make a Tiny Picture Book Together! Guided instruction led by local children’s author Cindy K. For grades K–6. 3:30–4:30 p.m.
Northwest Santa Rosa Library. 150 Coddingtown Center, Santa Rosa. tinyurl.com/f7eavu6a
FREE Dia de Muertos (Day of the Dead). Altar-lighting ceremony, dance performance from Grupo Folklórico Quetzalen Sonoma, tamales (fee), and kids activities. All welcome to bring a photo of loved one and add it to an altar. Donations appreciated to support this event. 5:30–7 p.m. Sonoma Community Center. 276 E. Napa St., Sonoma. tinyurl. com/5f2dxf5b.
Public Star Party. Presentations throughout the course of the evening. Starting at dusk, the Observatory’s three telescopes are open for viewing. Docent-led. $5–$15. Ages 5 & under: Free. Parking: $10. Nov. 2 & 29: 7–10 p.m. Sugarloaf Ridge State Park. 2605 Adobe Canyon Rd., Kenwood. rfo.org
Mr. Skunk & the Giant Christmas Tree. Enjoy seasonal treats on a journey through the redwoods to visit the world’s largest living Christmas tree. Tickets start at $68.35. Infants (2 & under) ride free on a lap. Various dates & times thru December. Departing 299 E.
FREE Rialto Cinemas Matinees. Screening of Chicken Run. Free family movies first Saturday & Sunday of the month. Food/drinks available for purchase. Nov. 2–3: 11
Early Release Enrichment at Veronda-Falletti Ranch. Provides farm, nature, & art-based experiences. Snacks provided. Grades: K–5th. Flexible scale: $20–$45. Wednesdays.
Happiness is...
Schulz Museum!
1–4:30 p.m. Early Extended Care available 11:30 a.m.–1 p.m. Veronda-Falletti Ranch. 175 W. Sierra Ave., Cotati. Drop-ins welcome. Registration: tinyurl.com/y6hnz6dp.
Thursday 7
Cuentos con Ritmo (Stories with Rhythm). Interactive Spanish language stories with music & movement for both Spanish- & English-speaking families. Ages 1-5 & siblings. Cost included with Museum admission. $16. Ages 11 mos. & younger: Free. Discounts available for qualifying guests. Thursdays. 10:30–11 a.m. Saturdays. 10–10:30 a.m. Children Museum. 1835 W. Steel Ln., Santa Rosa. tinyurl.com/ytw93ya5
Santa Rosa Veterans Luncheon Tribute. Keynote speaker: Santa
Rosa native, Capt. Brett Cozier, USN Retired. Featuring the Elsie Allen Drumline — High School Marching Band. $20 per person. Free to veterans. Tickets: Call/text 707-484-5808 or visit SR Rotary or Kiwanis Club. 11:30 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Sonoma County Fairgrounds. 1350 Bennett Valley Rd., Brookwood Ave. entrance, Santa Rosa. tinyurl.com/bdeptptu
Friday 8
Oliver Jr. Performed by Tiny & Preschool 6th Street Playhouse. Based on the classic play. $16.95–$21.95. Ages 2 & under: Free. Nov. 8–9 & 15–16: 6:30 p.m. Nov. 9–10 & 16–17: 1:30 p.m. (Doors open 30 minutes before performance). Monroe Stage. 52 W. 6th St., Santa Rosa. 6thstreetplayhouse.com
Saturday, November 23
General Admission: 10AM-5PM
Early Birds and VIPs: 9AM-5PM Santa Rosa Veterans Memorial Building
Meet the master builders & artists behind amazing LEGO ® creations. Vendors will be selling all kinds of LEGO ® related products. From new and used sets, to vintage and classic. Bulk LEGO ® by the pound, individual minifigures, jewelry, t-shirts, and so much more!
Exhibits, vendors, demos, activities, art, food, and fun for the whole family!
FREE Family Day at the Museum of Sonoma County. Second Saturdays. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Drop in art activities: Noon–2 p.m.Santa Rosa Museum. 425 Seventh St., Santa Rosa. museumsc. org/events
Second Saturday Cartoonist. Join Phil Witte for an engaging presentation based on his new book Funny Stuff: How Great Cartoonists Make Great Cartoons. Cost included with Museum admission. $5–$12. Ages 3 & under: Free. Discounts
available for qualifying guests. 1–3 p.m. Charles Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org/phil-witte
FREE Winterblast SOFA Arts District Festival. Art, music, food, & sofa “float” parades. Event: 3–8:30 p.m. Parades: 5 & 7 p.m. Sebastopol Avenue at A St., Santa Rosa. facebook. com/winterblastsofa
Monday 11
Veterans Day at the Museum. Veterans enjoy free Museum admission all day in honor of Charles M. Schulz’s military service. Regular admission fees apply to all other visitors: Adults: $5–12. Ages 3 & younger: Free. Discounts available for military & other qualifying guests. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Charles Schulz Museum. 2301Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org/veterans_day
Veterans Day Parade. Entertainment: Noon. Parade: 1 p.m. Ceremony: 2:45 p.m. Parade begins & ends at Walnut Park, Petaluma. Map route: petalumaveteransparade.com.
Tuesday 12
FREE Sensory Friendly Afternoon. Open to all families of children with special needs. Hands-on exhibits, art studio. Safe, accessible environment. Second Tuesdays. 2–5 p.m. Children’s Museum. 1835 W. Steel Ln., Santa Rosa. Pre-registration recommended: tinyurl.com/4cdvun8t.
Infant CPR & Safety Class. Perfect for parents, family members, & babysitters. Covers CPR, first aid, choking treatment, & much more, for newborn babies & infants (up to 1 year old). $80. 7–9:30 p.m. VIVE CPR. 5350 Commerce Blvd., Suite
SCD Masquerade Ball. Featuring dinner, wine & cocktail reception, dancing, silent & live auction. Proceeds support Sonoma
Conservatory of Dance scholarship fund & its diverse program of classes & public performances. $250 per person. 5:30–10 p.m. Jacuzzi Family Vineyards. 24724 Arnold Dr., Sonoma. scdgala.org
FREE Family Movie Night Double Feature. Screening of Charlie
Brown Christmas & Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Popcorn, beverages, & treats will be sold. 6:30–9:30 p.m. Polly Klaas Community Theater. 417 Western Ave., Petaluma. pollyklaastheater.org/events
Saturday 16
FREE La Tercera School
Community Planting Day. Volunteers needed to plant new native plant & rain garden. Sponsored by Daily Acts through the Climate Resilience Schools Program. 9 a.m.–2 p.m. La Tercera
The Wizard of Oz. Follow the yellow brick road in this stage adaptation of L. Frank Baum’s beloved tale, featuring the iconic musical score. $15–$34. Runs thru Nov. 23. Cinnabar Theater. 3333 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. Complete schedule: ci.ovationtix.com/35211.
Sunday 17
Leonardo! A Wonderful Show
About a Terrible Monster. Manual Cinema uses paper puppets, props, monster puppets, and songs to bring Mo Willems’ books to life. $17.60–$23.10. Lap passes for $5 available day of the show, in-person at the ticket office for ages 2 and under. 3 p.m. Luther Burbank Center. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. tinyurl. com/3stewhtu.
Santa Rosa Symphony Youth Orchestra Fall Concert. $5–$20. 7 p.m. Weill Hall. Green Music Center. 1801 East Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. tickets.srsymphony.org.
Tuesday 19
Vitamin String Quartet. Featuring the music of Taylor Swift, Bridgerton, and Beyond. $41.30–$57.82. 7:30 p.m. Luther Burbank Center. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. tinyurl. com/3kyvsauz
Thursday 21
Encanto: The Sing Along Film Concert. Live band plays during screening of the movie. Costumes encouraged but not required. $40–$100. Kids 12 and under get 50% off tickets. 7:30 p.m. Weill Hall. Green Music Center. 1801 East Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. Tickets: gmc.sonoma. edu/encanto-the-concert
Friday 22
FREE Hand-Made Closet Sale. Purchase gently-used or unworn hand-knit & crocheted sweaters, scarves, & hats made by local artisans. All items crafted from natural materials. Nov. 22–Dec. 1: 11
It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play. Based on the classic holiday movie, the story is set as a 1940’s live radio broadcast. $14–$32. Nov. 22–23, 29–30: 7:30 p.m. Nov. 24: 2 p.m. Spreckles Performing Arts Center. 5409 Synder Ln., Rohnert Park. Tickets: tinyurl.com/49fhrjzr
Saturday 23
FREE Veteran’s Holiday Market. Arts, crafts, food, & music. Presented by the Veteran’s of Foreign Wars Auxiliary, Post 1943 Sonoma. Nov. 23: 10 a.m.–4 p.m Nov. 24: 10 a.m.–4
p.m. Sonoma Veteran’s Memorial Hall. 126 First St. W., Sonoma. tinyurl. com/5fbmkj8r.
Legendary Dance Company Show. Presented by The Dance Center. Matinee 1 p.m: Evening 7:30. Spreckels Performing Arts Center. 5409 Snyder Ln, Rohnert
Park. thedancecenter.com/ dance-performances.
Holiday Boutique. Over 30 local holiday vendors and crafters, including Bloomfield Bees with a selection of delicious local honey. Nov. 23: 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Nov. 24–25: 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Santa Rosa Druid
Hall. 1011 College Ave., Santa Rosa. thewindsorconnection.com
Petaluma Holiday Crafterino. Regional artisan crafts & raffles. First 100 guests get gift bags with goodies, coupons, & local business gifts. Proceeds support local non-profit COTS (Committee on the Shelterless).
Brick Palooza. A huge exhibition of LEGO® demos, activities, art, food, & more. $12–$60. Ages 4 & younger: Free. $14.64–$23.18. General
Cirque de Bohème
admission: 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Early Birds & VIPs admission: 9 a.m. Santa Rosa Veterans Hall. 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. thebrickhutt.com
FREE Young People’s Chamber Orchestra Fall Orchestra. Donations accepted. 7:30 p.m. Phoenix Theatre. 201 Washington St., Petaluma. srsymphony.org/ event-calendar
Sunday 24
Family Day Program @ RFO. Activities teach children about the solar system and our nearest star, the sun. Created specifically for ages 12 & under. Must be at least one adult chaperone per family. $9.44–$13.65. State Park parking fee required. Starts promptly: 12:30 p.m.–3 p.m. Robert Ferguson Observatory. 2605 Adobe Canyon Rd., Kenwood. Advance tickets required: rfo.simpletix.com.
Tuesday 26
Petaluma Annual Holiday Food Fair. Over 30 local artisans participating at indoor farmer’s market. Santa on site for photos. $8 entry includes raffle, with portion of proceeds going to local charity partner. 3:30–7:30 p.m. Hotel Petaluma. 205 Kentucky St., Petaluma. tinyurl.com/yucwbnfd.
Wednesday 27
FREE The Great Thanksgiving Banquet. Food, haircuts, community resources, coat distribution, & activities for homeless & low-income families. Register in-advance to receive turkey, pie, & food box. Sponsor: Redwood Gospel Mission. Volunteer sign-up: tinyurl.com/3mwueaa2 (closes Nov. 22). Noon–7 p.m. Sonoma
County Fairgrounds.1350 Bennett Valley Rd., Santa Rosa. rgm.org/gtb Questions: 707-578-1830 X 314 or tkarns@rgm.org.
Thursday 28
FREE Santa Rosa Turkey Trot. 5K run/walk. Three races: Fast Turkey (for fast people), Festive 5K (for everyone else), and the Tiny Turkey (for kids under 5). Registration: $0 for ages 0–5; $34 ages 6–16; $44 ages 17–100. 8–10 a.m. Starts & finishes at Old Courthouse Square. 600 4th St., Santa Rosa. Register: tinyurl.com/5f4jmjn7
Petaluma Turkey Trot.
Family-friendly, no fee, quick registration, & photo shares. $10 donation includes raffle. All donations go directly to Redwood Empire Food Bank. Starts & finishes at Kaiser
Employee Parking (south of buildings). Warm-up: 8:15 a.m. Race: 8:30 a.m. 3900 Lakeville Hwy., Petaluma. madarc.com/turkey-trot-petaluma
Friday 29
Annual Turkey Waddle Hike.
Refreshing & inspiring guided 3.5 mile hike. Wear sturdy shoes & bring water. $10 entry. $10 parking. 10 a.m.–Noon. Jack London State Park. 2400 London Ranch Rd., Glen Ellen (turn right on Ranch lot). Tickets: tinyurl. com/yc6rtpdh.
FREE 45th Holiday Arts & Crafts
Faire. A great way support your local art and crafts vendors. Nov. 29–30: 10 a.m–4 p.m. Rohnert Park Community Center. 5401 Synder Ln., Rohnert Park. tinyurl.com/bdh62r23.
Showcase & Competition. Nov. 29-30. Hotel Petaluma. 205 Kentucky St., Petaluma. Full schedule: tinyurl. com/5n6d955h
Saturday 30
FREE Santa’s River Boat Arrival. Santa and Mrs. Claus arrive via tugboat. Photos with Santa. 11:30 a.m.–1:30 p.m. River Plaza Shopping Center. 50 E. Washington St., Petaluma. tinyurl.com/5de7y7f7.
Thanksgiving Thoughts
By Cheryl Maguire
This is how I wanted to respond to my 11-year-old daughter’s request to host Thanksgiving, “Not if I can help it,” since I hate cooking, cleaning, and anything related to hosting for 20 people. But I knew that wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Instead I responded like any mom would that is hoping to avoid a debate: “Maybe.”
“YES!” My daughter screamed, pumping her fist like she just won the lottery.
“Careful,” I reminded, “It isn’t a ‘yes’ yet. Now go get ready for school.”
I made a long list of reasons why going to Auntie’s house for Thanksgiving would be far superior to hosting. Then I won a turkey from a contest at the YMCA. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that my daughter somehow rigged the contest.
“That means we’re hosting Thanksgiving,” my daughter noted. “I
To Host or Not?
can’t wait to decorate the house, bake, and have everyone here!”
Easy for her to say. She didn’t have to go to the grocery store, clean the house, and spend days cooking and baking. Or did she?
“OK, but you have to help me every step of the way.”
“YES!” Again my daughter screamed, pumping her fist like she just won the lottery.
Clearly, she had no idea what she was in for, much like the poor turkeys with whom we celebrate.
At the crowded grocery store, I felt frustrated maneuvering crowded aisles. My young Padawan was unfazed, wearing a perpetual smile as if she was at Disney World. (There were some parallels, like mobs of people and an overabundance of food but it was
lacking in those wishing you a magical day.)
While cleaning, my daughter maintained a sunny disposition. She played music and danced, and the song “Whistle While You Work” popped into my head. Maybe my daughter is going to be a Disney character one day.
When I didn’t think it was possible for her to be any happier, she was elated to cook and bake.
During preparations, my daughter never complained, even while taking out the garbage or washing dishes. Her enthusiasm was infectious and I might even go so far as to say it was fun to host. The best part was spending time with her and realizing that something I thought was tedious could be entertaining.
“Mom, can we host Christmas?”
Even though I enjoyed hosting, I thought we were getting a little ahead of ourselves by discussing this before Thanksgiving dinner was over.
“Maybe.”
“YES!” my daughter screamed, pumping her fist like she just won the lottery.
Looks like we will be hosting Christmas, too. ❖
Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, National Geographic, Parents Magazine, AARP, Healthline, Your Teen Magazine and many other publications. She is a professional member of ASJA and SATW. You can find her on X @CherylMaguire05.
