Mendo Lake Family Life September 2022

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mendo lake FREE!

September 2022

ADHD Help 4 tips for teens

Viva la Fiesta Hispanic Heritage Month

Arts & Sports 5 benefits for kids

Baby Safety What to buy


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September 2022

Every Issue 6

Features 10 The Focus Problem Practical ways to assist students with ADHD.

12 Especially Sleepy Help kids with special needs to get their Zzzs.

14 The Inner Child Psychologist A therapist-mom’s take on autism.

16 Well-Rounded Kids

14

Dear Reader

7

Cooking with Kids Zucchini with Zip

8

Bits and Pieces ¡Viva la Fiesta! Cookin’ Up Somethin’ Good

18 Pets with a Purpose

Pear Fest Frivolity

The many varieties of emotional support animals.

Fair Showcases Local Apples

20 Is Your Baby Gear Safe? How to make sure car seats, cribs, and rockers are up to snuff.

22 Five Minutes of Love It doesn’t take much time to connect to kids.

9

Four Days of Lumberjack Fun Celebrate Local Indigenous Peoples

24

Calendar of Events

32 Humor Break No More Forks to Give

How extracurricular activities help children thrive.

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7 September 2022

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ALL IT TAKES IS ONE WELL-CHILD VISIT TO BE THEIR HERO

PROTECT THE HEALTH OF YOUR CHILDREN

FIND A PROVIDER

Doctors can find things that you wouldn’t have known about and take care of them before it’s serious. Contact your child’s healthcare provider or a health clinic to schedule an appointment today. Don’t know where to go? Scan the QR code or visit: www.mendocinocounty.org/healthproviderlist


Dear Reader

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his issue is dedicated to parents of children with special needs. We know raising a child who is differently abled or has cognitive, Sharon Gowan emotional, or other Publisher/Editor challenges is not an Sharon@family-life.us easy road. That’s why we put together this selection of supportive articles that address particular issues families like yours face. For instance, getting a good night’s sleep. This basic task can be challenging for kids’ who struggle with any number of disorders. And, what’s more, a lack of sleep can aggravate existing symptoms. Malia Jacobson’s “Especially Sleepy” (page 12) offers guidance on how to help children ease into slumber and stay there.

animals make great friends for kids, too. Turn to Sandi Schwartz’s “Pets with a Purpose” (page 18) to learn more. Dodging others’ judgments is one of the hardships of parenting kids who are a little different. Many moms and dads, no matter what their circumstances, feel the weight of others’ opinions sometimes, too. Jessica Guerrieri is so over it. She refuses to be mom-shamed. Read her humorous “No More Forks to Give” (page 32), and let your laughter release any worry about what the neighbors or the in-laws or the folks waiting in line at the grocery store think of you or your kids. Whatever your family’s challenges, we are here to serve you with information that makes life easier. We know parenting is hard work. We’ve got your back. Have a wonderful September!

Support animals can soothe children any time of day. While dogs are often used for this important job, many other

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Marketing/ Sales/Events Patricia Ramos 707-205-1539 patty@family-life.us

Features Editor Melissa Chianta melissa@family-life.us

Production Manager Donna Bogener production@family-life.us

Contributing Writers Lynn Adams Kimberly Blaker Jessica Guerrieri Malia Jacobson Christina Katz Cheryl Maguire Gaby Melian Sandi Schwartz

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Cooking with Kids

Zucchini with Zip Argentina’s Answer to the Squash Side By Gaby Melian

“Zapallito” translates as “little pumpkin” or “little squash.” The zapallitos I grew up eating in Argentina are called “zapallitos de tronco” (“stem squashes”). They’re small, round, and bright green, with a flavor and texture similar to zucchini, which is easier to find in major American grocery stores. When I was in college, I also had a full-time job, which meant that I didn’t have a lot of free time. Whenever I needed a quick, inexpensive, and filling meal, I turned to zapallitos salteados (or zapallitos revueltos, which is when you add scrambled eggs). Today, every time I cook this for dinner, it reminds me of my college days in Argentina. You can serve your zapallitos salteados with Arroz Blanco. ❖ Excerpted, with permission, from Gaby’s Latin American Kitchen: 70 Kid-Tested and Kid-Approved Recipes for Young Chefs by Gaby Melian (America’s Test Kitchen, 2022), americastestkitchen.com.

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Zapallitos Salteados (Stir-Fried Zucchini) ¡En Sus Marcas! Ready! Ingredients

¡Fuera! Go!

1 tablespoon olive oil

1. In a 12-inch nonstick skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat for about 1 minute (the oil should be hot but not smoking). Add the onion and bell pepper and cook, stirring occasionally with a rubber spatula, until the vegetables are just beginning to soften, 3 to 5 minutes.

1 red onion, peeled and sliced thin 1 red bell pepper, stemmed, seeded, and sliced thin 3 small zucchini, sliced ¼ inch thick (about 3 cups) 2 teaspoons kosher salt 1/8 teaspoon pepper 1 carrot, peeled and shredded on the large holes of a box grater 2 teaspoons dried oregano ½ teaspoon dried thyme

2. Stir in the zucchini, salt, and pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, for 3 minutes. Stir in the carrot, oregano, and thyme.

Rubber spatula

3. Cover the skillet with a lid; reduce the heat to medium-low; and cook until the zucchini is tender but still bright green, about 3 minutes. Turn off the heat. Use oven mitts to remove the lid. Serve.

Oven mitts

Serves: 4 to 6

¡Listos! Set! Equipment 12-inch nonstick skillet with a lid

Zapallitos Revueltos (Stir-Fried Zucchini with Scrambled Eggs) If you like, add some scrambled eggs to your zapallitos salteados to turn them into zapallitos revueltos! Once the zucchini is tender in step 3, remove the lid and increase the heat to medium. Use a rubber spatula to push the vegetables to 1 side of the skillet. Add 3 large eggs, beaten with a fork, to the empty side of the skillet. Let the eggs set for 30 seconds to 1 minute. Stir the eggs until they clump and are still slightly wet. Then, gently stir the eggs into the vegetables. Turn off the heat. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve. September 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 7


Bits & Pieces

¡Viva la Fiesta!

Ballet Folklorico Jazmin

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t’s National Hispanic Heritage month and Kelseyville is celebrating with Día de la Independencia fiesta. The free event will feature performances by Ballet Folklorico Jazmin and the dancing horses of Los Amigos as well as live music by Grupo Musical Valle de Santiago and Mariachi Jalisco. And there’ll be children’s activities, too, including a bouncy house, face painting, and piñatas. A costume contest and authentic food will round out the fiesta, which will be held on September 11, 1–8 p.m., on Main Street in Kelseyville. Learn more at tinyurl.com/ytek3fs8. ❖

Chili Cook-Off

Cookin’ Up Somethin’ Good

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he Boys and Girls Club of Ukiah offers academic, wellness, and arts programs that help countless Ukiah children. And all that programming requires money, which is why every year Granite Construction hosts its Chili Cook-Off. At the fundraiser, local businesses conjure up pots of spicy meat and beans, which attendees taste, voting on their favorites. The event happens on September 9 at 6 p.m. at the Alex R. Thomas Jr. Plaza in downtown Ukiah. Tickets are $5–$10; kids 5 and younger get in free. For more information, go to facebook.com/ GraniteConstructionChiliCookOff. ❖

Pear Fest Frivolity

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ears. Lake County produces thousands of tons of them. And they are celebrated every year at the Kelseyville Pear Festival. The annual shindig draws thousands and features plenty of pear goodies as well as an arts and crafts market, horse fair, antique tractor display, and live music. The festival will be held on September 24, 7 a.m.–4 p.m., on Main Street in Kelseyville. Get more information at pearfestival.com or see tinyurl.com/ mr7mkszh. ❖ Pear Festival

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Fair Showcases Local Apples

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efore vineyards, apple orchards grew in Mendocino County. And many varieties of apples are showcased at the Mendocino County Fair and Apple Show. Besides a plethora of apples (and wine) to sample, the fair will also offer a CCPRA rodeo, classic car show, sheep dog trials, a carnival, and live music and dancing. The annual event will run September 23–25 at the fairgrounds in Boonville. Admission is $6–$10; ages 6 and younger, free. Carnival wristbands are $35–$40. See a full schedule and purchase tickets at mendocountyfair.com. ❖

Four Days of Lumberjack Fun

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hat’s the oldest and largest Mendocino Coast festival? Paul Bunyan Days! A Fort Bragg tradition since 1939, the four-day festival—held this year September 2–5—boasts 30 different events, many of which are free. One of the best attended is the Logging Show, which will be on September 4. Spectators will watch as local men and women pull out axes and power saws to compete for prize money. (It’s held in a field of tents near Highways 1 and 20. Admission is $10; kids 11 and younger get in free.) Another popular event is the Labor Day parade, which starts at noon on September 5. The festival also features a gem and mineral show, a classic car show, craft fair, a Labor Day barbecue, and children’s events, such as tricycle races, a special parade, and kids’ games. For complete details, go to paulbunyandays.com. ❖

Paul Bunyan Days

Celebrate Local Indigenous Peoples

Indian Day Celebration

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omo and Elem Native Americans have inhabited what is now known as Lake County for millennia. The free Indian Day Celebration honors their traditions and even gives the public a chance to experience some of them. The day begins with an opening prayer and continues with traditional dances, Native cuisine (including free Indian tacos), a craft fair, live music, and vendors. The festivities happen on September 10, 1–4 p.m., at the Konocti Vista Casino and Resort marina lawn in Lakeport. For more information, go to tinyurl.com/45bhkk72. ❖ www.mendolakefamilylife.com

September 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 9


4 Ways to Improve Focus

The Focus Problem 4 Tips for Helping Teens with ADHD

By Cheryl Maguire

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got detention for forgetting my book three times in a row,” read Michael’s text. His mother wasn’t surprised. Michael was diagnosed with ADHD when he was eight years old, and she’d received other messages saying he’d misplaced or even forgotten to do his homework. His mother had hoped that he’d be more organized by 13, and she wondered if this was typical teenage behavior or if it was the result of ADHD.

“Everyone has ADHD behavior at times,” says Sarah Cheyette, MD, a pediatric neurologist and author of the book ADHD & the Focused Mind (Square One, 2016). Cheyette says the difference between a person with ADHD and other people is that the person with ADHD is unfocused too much of the time. “There are differences between a child and a teen with ADHD,” Cheyette says. When a younger child has ADHD, parents tend to be more forgiving and helpful 10 MendoLakeFamilyLife

You are your child’s best advocate. with their unfocused behaviors. A teen with ADHD may want their independence but lack the skills to focus and control their impulses. This can lead to more severe consequences than when they were younger. But parents can help their teens with ADHD improve their focus. September 2022

1. Positive Thinking When a teen is interested in doing a particular task, it will be easier to accomplish. “Most people become more focused when they decide they want to do something,” says Cheyette. “If you say to yourself, I don’t feel like doing this, then you probably won’t.” For example, if your teen doesn’t like doing homework, encouraging them to change their mindset can help improve their focus. Reframing the

It’s important for teens to actively set and own their goals. negative thought (“I don’t want to do my homework”) in a more positive light (“Finishing my homework will make me feel good about this class”) can help a teen become more focused and complete the task. 2. The Right Surroundings Emily, a parent of a 14-year-old son diagnosed with ADHD, has found that choosing the right environment helps her son’s mindset. “I encourage him to stay after school to do his homework,” she says. “This way he doesn’t become distracted by things at home, like his phone, and he can receive help from his teachers.” 3. Healthy Lifestyle Choices Cheyette also stresses the importance of a healthy lifestyle for improving and maintaining focus. This includes eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and making time to exercise. Sleep problems can lead to issues with memory and impulse control for any

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child, but especially kids with ADHD. (See “Especially Sleepy,” page 12.) Jen, a parent to a 12-year-old girl diagnosed with ADHD, agrees with Cheyette about the importance of eating healthy and getting enough sleep. Her daughter experiences intense mood swings and an inability to deal with stress when she doesn’t eat or sleep well. 4. Setting Goals Cheyette says that setting goals can help teens with ADHD improve their focus and achieving their goals will help them feel successful. As a parent, you may be tempted to provide directions or nag your child to make sure they are working towards their goals, but it’s important for teens to actively set and own their goals.

And you can still help them. “Make observations and ask questions,” Cheyette recommends. “If you notice your son’s backpack is a mess, instead of saying, ‘You need to organize your backpack,’ try saying, ‘It must be

When a teen is interested in doing a particular task, it will be easier to accomplish. difficult to find your homework when your backpack looks like this’ or ‘How are you able to find your homework?’” Once you’ve framed the problem, she says, “Ask questions such as, ‘How can you help yourself?’ or ‘How can you act differently next time?’ to allow

your child to think about and own their behaviors. Cheyette wants to remind parents that you are your child’s best advocate and the parents interviewed here agree. “The best advice I can give other parents is to tell them that there may be really bad times, but your child needs to know that you are in their court,” Jen says. “When your child feels like a failure or has no friends, or school is horrible, they need to be able to come home to you and release their frustrations and emotions.” ❖ A married mom of twins and a daughter, Cheryl Maguire holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology. Her writing has been published in the New York Times, Parents Magazine, AARP, and many other publications. Find her on Twitter @ CherylMaguire05.

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even hyperactivity. A study by the American College of Chest Physicians found that children who snored loudly were twice as likely to have learning impairment. The potential impact is so severe that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all children who snore be screened for sleep apnea, says Robert Heinle, MD, of the Nemours/Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children Sleep Lab.

Especially Sleepy Snoring, Sleep & Special Needs By Malia Jacobson

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any children with special needs also face significant sleep challenges, a draining double-whammy that leaves millions of parents and children exhausted. The National Association of School Psychologists reports that as many as 30 percent of children may have a sleep disorder, but rates are much higher among children with special needs. Recent studies published in Pediatrics link childhood snoring and sleep apnea, or “sleep disordered breathing” (SDB), to behavioral problems and an increased need for special education. In fact, SDB is strongly associated with conditions like Down syndrome and cerebral palsy. What’s more, sleep problems can be especially devastating to children with special needs, because the resulting sleep deprivation can worsen the symptoms of their existing medical or behavioral 12 MendoLakeFamilyLife

problems, says Carole L. Marcus, MD, CHOP Sleep Center director. Night Rumbles: Snoring and Sleep Apnea Most children snore once in a while, and 10 percent snore most nights. But these nighttime noises shouldn’t be dismissed as “normal”: Researchers now believe that snoring is on the same spectrum as sleep apnea, a disorder characterized by pauses in breathing that cause brief awakenings. Left untreated, sleep apnea can contribute to behavioral problems and learning difficulties, September 2022

Children with autism can have difficulties with the circadian rhythm. Other SDB warning signs include sleeping in strange positions, experiencing night terrors, bedwetting, or perspiring during sleep, says Renee Turchi, MD, board-certified pediatrician with St. Christopher’s Hospital for Children. How to help: The good news: Nearly all otherwise-healthy children with sleep apnea respond well to having the tonsils removed, says Marcus. Back-sleeping can exacerbate snoring; regular snorers or those with sleep apnea should choose another position (“back to sleep” is still best for babies, though). Beyond Snoring: Sleep and Special Needs Rates of sleep apnea and other sleep troubles skyrocket for children with special needs. About two-thirds of children with Down syndrome have sleep apnea, says Marcus; a larger tongue, a small mid-face, and lower muscle tone make these children more prone to SDB and apnea. Children with cerebral palsy, spina bifida, and www.mendolakefamilylife.com


Celebrating other conditions associated with low muscle tone also have higher rates of sleep apnea. According to multiple studies, over half of children with Down syndrome ages 7–11 wake during the night, and nearly 40 percent wet the bed.

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Rates of sleep troubles skyrocket for children with special needs. Children with autism can have difficulties with the circadian rhythm, the sleep-wake cycle that governs wakefulness and sleep, driving them to stay up too late, says Marcus. “Our brains regulate sleep, so if the brain is abnormal for any reason, sleep is going to be impacted, too.” How to help: Though some special-needs sleep problems are physiological in nature, such as those related to low muscle tone, many are behavioral, such as habitual night wakings, waking too early in the morning, or fighting bedtime. “Often, parents may not set the same bedtime limits for children with special needs that they set for other children,” says Marcus. Defining clear parameters for sleep—including when bedtime occurs, where a child sleeps, and what is an acceptable hour to wake in the morning—and gently yet firmly enforcing these household rules, night after night, can help get sleep on track for children with special needs. ❖ Malia Jacobson is a nationally published health journalist and mom. Her latest book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades. Find her at maliajacobson.com.

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The Inner Child Psychologist A Therapist Learns to Take Her Own Advice

By Lynn Adams I quit. Toward the end of my first stint as a child psychologist, a high school classmate’s sister called during the ten-minute gap between patients. I took the call because I remembered her, and I was curious. It turned out to be one of those times my own thoughts came out of someone else’s mouth, which is why it’s stuck with me so long. After asking about my training, she remarked, “Don’t take this personally, but I’ve heard you’re better at determining whether or not a kid has autism than at knowing what to do about it.” I took it personally. 14 MendoLakeFamilyLife

I didn’t quit until I’d had my second child. Once I became a full-time mom, I poo-pooed those who suggested that my professional training might come in handy with my own children. As expressed during that long-ago phone call, there are limits to what a psychologist can do for a kid with autism. Now that James is a teenager, I realize it’s time to forget that phone call. I’ve listened to an inner psychologist ever since I quit my practice. Here’s what she said: • Early identification is important. Identifying autism as early as possible is crucial for research, and I trained with the September 2022

best. As I made the transition from research to practice, this skill rubbed some parents the wrong way. I’d often suspect autism before anyone else was ready to talk about it. When I saw signs in my own child as early as infancy, I doubted myself as much as my family doubted me. But that didn’t stop me from seeking help early. I needed help. Because of his developmental issues, James was harder to care for than most kids his age.

Psychologists know how to tell the difference between a problem and a hassle. • “Mild” is far different from “not.” Friends questioned the wisdom of diagnosing a condition that can go undetected. James himself has questioned it since he first learned the word autism in third grade. But I knew that those with mild disabilities are most responsive to early intervention, and most likely to benefit from a mainstream school placement. They’re also likely to struggle in that mainstream placement. Nowadays, James’s autism is no secret. The amount of mothering he needs is. • Choose professionals for the right reasons. I already knew a lot of speech/language therapists, occupational therapists, and psychiatrists. I knew how much their services cost and which weren’t covered by our insurance. I knew a 30-minute session would take three times that long when you factored in travel, tantrums, and waiting room time. I knew what went on in those www.mendolakefamilylife.com


waiting rooms. All this knowledge helped me weigh convenience and cost equally with professional competence. Every professional we’ve visited has worked within five miles of our home. • Developmental norms explain a lot. Kids do wacky things. Many of these are age appropriate, and you’re spinning your wheels if you get excited about them. Psychologists know how to tell the difference between a problem and a hassle. I wish I’d snapped a photo the morning I found James sitting on top of our refrigerator. It was dangerous, sure. But it was a rare act of adventure and confidence. And he was smiling like he’d won the Superbowl. • Excuse notes spell relief. Experts’ excuse notes have two jobs:

a) communicating the course of a condition, and b) clarifying the limits of one’s ability to alter that course. Just as James’s pediatrician wrote a note to get him out of PE for two weeks when he sprained an ankle, I wrote

myself this mental note on a rough night: These days James goes berserk at bedtime, even if you do everything right. Hang in there. • Consider the risk-reward ratio for big decisions. When it came time to consider psychiatric medication, I had a massive head

start on most parents. I’d supported other families through these difficult decisions, and I’d stuck around to see how things turned out. When I was desperate to do everything possible to help James, I could put both my hopes and my fears in context. I still know more about diagnosing autism than about handling it, but I’m proud to admit that now. Psychology rarely helped James directly. It helped me, the parent, tremendously. I put my career on hold in order to devote my full attention to the important and difficult work of motherhood. But I couldn’t have done it without my inner psychologist. ❖ Lynn Adams, PhD, writes about mothering a child with autism at lynnadamsphd.com. Also find her at facebook.com/lynnadamswriter.

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preferably with dedicated coaches and instructors leading the way. Physical activities increase coordination, inspire discipline, and provide energy outlets for restless kids. So let another trusted adult be in charge for a change, and enjoy your downtime while your kids get more fit.

Well-Rounded Kids 5 Benefits of After-School Activities By Christina Katz

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arents, do you ever wonder if you may be taking the whole over-scheduling taboo too seriously? For years, parents have been hearing that kids have too many activities, too much homework, too-heavy backpacks, too much screen time, too much sugar...and on and on. Personally, I find most parents are intelligent, conscientious, and trying to find a healthy middle ground for everyone in the family. Most parents want their kids to have just the right amount of after-school activities. The vast majority seem committed to helping their kids become happier, healthier, more well-rounded citizens without pushing them into activity overload. So why not remember a few things kids stand to gain from after-school activities instead? Kids can benefit artistically, physically, socially, 16 MendoLakeFamilyLife

mentally, and personally from after-school activities. I contacted a half-dozen after-school activity pros, and here are some of the many benefits for kids that we discussed. Fit, Confident Kids As Elle Woods reminds us in the film Legally Blonde, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” But motivating kids to get off the couch is not always easy. Your kids are not looking to you to tell them to run some wind sprints or do a series of gut crunches. This is where after-school activities come in, September 2022

Shining Lights While we may like to think that our children are born whole and complete, the truth is kids often discover what they are made of after they become immersed in activities that stretch and challenge them. Engaging kids in activities

Tutoring can definitely increase not just aptitude, but also enthusiasm. where they feel fully immersed in the experience and are responsible for their own mastery helps kids discover what makes them tick. When it comes to finding an activity for your child, look for outlets that challenge them while also providing gradual instruction and skill development. Part of Something Greater After-school activities offer kids outlets for expressing their energy within a safe learning context. Feeling part of a group with a purpose is a beautiful thing, so make sure that the space where your child spends time is safe, fun, and growth-centric. Often kids become as attached to a center, a studio, or a routine as they do to a group of peers. When kids go off to their activities, they should feel like they are going to one of their favorite places—to their home away from home. If this is not the case for your child, www.mendolakefamilylife.com


then you might want to check out other possibilities. Memorably Connected If there is one thing all after-school activity professionals agree on, it’s the importance of making memories via meaningful connections. Engaged, smiling, busy children are typically happy children. Whether your child’s activity happens in a place rife with variety or in a more specialized space, your child is sure to grow over time, make memories, and understand herself better with regular participation in after-school activities. Why not let your kids have the continuity of years of ongoing participation? It’s hard to advance up the activity ranks if you dabble in one activity and then another. Give your child a few years in elementary

school to try different activities. Then see if they want to commit to an activity or two during middle school. They can always switch to different activities once they get to high school, if they wish.

Physical activities increase coordination, inspire discipline, and provide energy outlets. Aptitude-Rich Some students need extra help to keep up academically, so don’t panic if your child turns out to be one of them. Your child may need extra help that addresses specific needs such as standardized test preparation or responding to learning gaps. Other

kids simply need help becoming more satisfied students. Tutoring can definitely increase not just aptitude, but also enthusiasm. And just as parents don’t always make the best coaches, we also don’t always make the best tutors, either. Besides, kids often progress faster and more willingly when they work with mentors they don’t already know. And good news: raising academic confidence in one subject can lead to increased academic confidence across the board. So if your child is struggling with critical reading, vocabulary, or math skills, why not try a local tutoring service? ❖ Christina Katz is a mother, author, and journalist who has written hundreds of articles and columns for publication since 1999. Find her at christinakatz.com.

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some breeds are known for being the best emotional support dogs and more kid-friendly than others. These include the Cavalier King Charles spaniel, Labrador retriever, bichon frise, shih tzu, boxer, poodle, and beagle.

Pets with a Purpose

How Animals Support Kids’ Emotional Health

By Sandi Schwartz

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eyond simply being loving pets, animals can serve as therapeutic tools for children struggling with emotional issues, such as anxiety and depression. Such pets are referred to as emotional support animals (ESAs). An ESA can be a dog, cat, or other type of pet that, through companionship and affection, helps ease symptoms of an emotional or mental issue. Also called assistance animals, ESAs have improved the lives of so many people. Some children have trouble connecting with adults and their peers, which is where an ESA can be beneficial. They may find it easier to bond with an animal, as they can use nonverbal (or verbal, if they prefer) communication to connect with it. Pets are also supportive and nonjudgmental, providing a safe space for children to express themselves. ESAs are more than just pets to these

18 MendoLakeFamilyLife

children; the bond between child and animal can be quite powerful. Here are some of the types of ESAs available for your children. Dutiful Dogs Dogs are the most popular ESA choice, as they can be great emotional support animals for children. They are typically energetic and enjoy lots of playtime with their companions. Both small and large dog breeds work well with children, but September 2022

Caring Cats Cats are also a terrific choice for an ESA, especially for children who are intimidated by or afraid of dogs. They are a low-maintenance animal and often tender with children. Cats are smaller and lighter than

Dogs are the most popular ESA choice. dogs and usually enjoy sitting on laps. Additionally, they are more independent, tolerant of being left alone, and easily transportable, for instance on airplanes. Cats can be an antidote to kids’ loneliness and just generally help children cope more effectively with everyday life. There are no specific cat breeds known to be better for emotional support; it just depends on which cat can provide comfort to those struggling with a mental or emotional issue. Beautiful Birds Birds can also serve as pacifying companions. Parrots, in particular, are known to have a high level of empathy and provide a special type of interaction with those struggling with emotional issues. They can be taught words and phrases, which can help in therapeutic ways. Plus, many people are fascinated by their behavior and beautiful colors, and enjoy interacting with animals that can fly. www.mendolakefamilylife.com


Sweet Small Pets Another group of ESAs, called “smallies,” include tiny animals, such as rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs, mini pigs (also called pot-bellied pigs), and even rats. When used in therapeutic ways, they can help lower stress and anxiety in children. Easy pets to have around, they work especially well for people who find larger animals intimidating. Rabbits come in a range of sizes up to about 15 pounds. They are curious animals that enjoy socializing and can build bonds with humans. Hamsters are easy to care for, inexpensive, simple to transport, and calm. Guinea pigs are small enough to hold and love to be stroked. They are social, inquisitive, and can bond strongly with humans. What most people do not realize is that guinea pigs are

frequently vocal, whistling and purring when they are happy. Mini pigs are highly intelligent, easily trained, and can be very affectionate. The most shocking of this group, of course, are the rats. Despite the obvious stigma against them, they can actually be

frog, or turtle takes a great deal of concentration and offers individuals a reprieve from their emotional struggles. An advantage of choosing this type of ESA is that they require less care than mammals. For instance, they do not need to be walked or groomed.

Cats can be an antidote to loneliness.

If you are interested in getting an ESA for your child or registering one of your own pets as an ESA, check out ESA Registration of America (esaregistration.org) for guidance. If you would like to find animal support programs in your community, contact organizations like Pet Partners (petpartners.org), American Kennel Club (akc.org), and Alliance of Therapy Dogs (therapydogs.com). ❖

effective ESAs since they are very intelligent and social creatures that enjoy interacting with people in a gentle way. Chill Reptiles and Amphibians Finally, as surprising as it may sound, some types of reptiles and amphibians are now being used for therapy purposes. Caring for a lizard,

Learn more about Sandi Schwartz at ecohappinessproject.com.

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Check that car seat clips or seat belts are in the right place every time. Clips should be clasped at the armpit level. A seat belt should lay across your child’s lap with the top across the chest and shoulder (not across the neck or face). In case of an accident, add a tag or sticker with important information about your child and emergency contact information.

Is Your Baby Gear Safe? Tips for Buying & Using Equipment By Kimberly Blaker

R

egardless of their approach to parenting, one thing all parents prioritize is keeping their children safe. It seems like new recalls on child equipment occur each week. To ensure your child is safe and secure, keep the following in mind when buying and using child equipment. Car Seats The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says that car seats offer your child the best protection in the event of an accident. The following are the three main types of car seats and how to use them. Search for and compare different car seats at nhtsa.gov/ campaign/right-seat.

• Rear-facing: Babies and toddlers should face the rear as long as possible until they outgrow car seat height or weight limits. 20 MendoLakeFamilyLife

• Forward-facing: Once children outgrow a rear-facing seat, they should stay in a forward-facing seat until they exceed its height or weight limit. • Booster: Older children who can use a seat belt, but need to sit higher for the seat belt to correctly fit, should use a booster car seat. Once kids are tall enough to sit on the seat with the seat belt in a safe position, a car seat is no longer required. September 2022

Yes, car seats have expiration dates. If possible, avoid buying a used car seat. It’s important that a car seat has not been in an accident and that it has not expired. (Car seats are not safe 6–10 years after their date of manufacture.) It’s hard to determine either if its used. Cribs Don’t use a crib with drop-down sides. Even though they were banned more than a decade ago for safety reasons, you still might find one at a garage sale or resale shop. Don’t buy it. Also make sure anything used you do buy does not have missing parts or issues with paint, splintering, or loose connections. To avoid SIDS, babies should be placed on their backs, and mattresses should be flat and firm with a tight-fitting sheet. There should be nothing loose in the crib, such as blankets, pillows, or stuffed toys. Cords and strings increase the risk of strangulation. Make sure neither is anywhere near the crib. Don’t place heavy art or decorations over a crib as they could fall. www.mendolakefamilylife.com


As your child grows, there is a risk that they will fall out of the crib. Ensure the mattress height is appropriate so your child can’t roll or climb out. When your toddler can climb out, the crib is no longer suitable or safe. Changing Tables A safe, sturdy changing table is essential to keep your baby secure and reduce the risk of falls. The table should have a guardrail at least two inches high, and the changing pad should have raised sides to prevent easy rolling. A strap with a buckle is recommended to keep your baby secure. But don’t rely on it solely. Also keep diaper supplies within reach, so you never have to leave your baby’s side. Like any equipment, make sure the changing

table is correctly assembled and be aware of the manufacturer’s recommended weight limits. Swings & Rockers This type of baby equipment has had many

Don’t use a crib with drop-down sides. recalls. Some rockers and swings are advertised for helping baby sleep or nap. But according to manufacturers and organizations such as the American Academy of Pediatrics and the US Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), swings and rockers aren’t safe for sleeping, especially without supervision. The safest way for

babies to sleep is flat on their backs; swings and rockers put a baby’s head and neck at an angle, which can negatively impact breathing. In addition, babies should only be placed in swings when you are able to see and be aware of them. Discontinue the use of swings and rockers when your baby can sit up or roll. Also, always follow the recommended weight and height limits. Check out the CPSC’s website at cpsc.gov for recalls, safety recommendations for parents, and equipment safety requirements for manufacturers. ❖ Kimberly Blaker is a freelance writer who also owns an online bookshop, Sage Rare & Collectible Books: sagerarebooks.com.

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MendoLakeFamilyLife 21


one good thing that happened to you today?” Surely, I should be able to think of something this time, especially since she asked it yesterday, I thought. But my mind was blank. Three hands shot up this time. “I was on time for the training today.” “I ate a tasty breakfast.”

Five Minutes Connect with Kids of Love at the Bus Stop By Cheryl Maguire

I

still walk to the bus stop with my ninth grade boy/girl twins. Before you assume that I’m a helicopter, snowplow, lawnmower, or some other type of machinery parent, please let me explain.

When my kids were younger, I admit that I used to go to the bus stop with them out of fear they would get hurt or kidnapped. But as that they got older, I realized that I continued to walk to the bus stop to spend time with them. And they wanted to spend time with me. Recently, reflecting on why those five minutes felt different from the rest of the time I saw them during the day, I recalled a three-day training I attended when I used to be a counselor. On the first day of the training, the speaker began by asking us, “What’s one good thing that happened to you today?” 22 MendoLakeFamilyLife

It was 9 a.m. and I’m not a morning person, so my brain wasn’t functioning enough to think of a response. I also thought, “Not much has really happened yet.” The class seemed to share my sentiment because only one other hand was raised. “I drank my coffee,” said an eager volunteer.

“My kid gave me a hug before I left the house.”

“Parenting a teen is not a set of strategies. It is a relationship.” —Laura Markham, PhD That day when I went home, I thought about the question and possible answers. I was determined to participate. When I woke up the next morning, I paid attention to all the positive experiences I had before I arrived at the training. That day when she asked the question, “What’s one good thing that happened to you today?”, at least 15 hands were raised, including my own. “The sky was filled with beautiful shades of red, orange, and yellow. Seeing it made me smile,” I said.

“Thanks for sharing. I’m glad you had a chance to drink coffee. Anyone else?”

The technique worked because the speaker asked the same question at the same time. This routine allowed me to anticipate and prepare to answer the question.

No one raised a hand. She moved on to the rest of her presentation, and I forgot about her question.

The Power of a Routine Walking to the bus stop every morning is a routine that my teens can count on.

The next day, I sat in the same seat. Again she began by asking, “What’s

They sometimes ask me questions or offer information about their day. And

The group erupted with laughter.

September 2022

www.mendolakefamilylife.com


rarely do they have their phone in front of their faces (unlike the rest of the time I see them).

to their families and schools, they are less likely to engage in violent behaviors as adults.

Laura Markham, PhD, a clinical Even though it’s short, the walk to the psychologist and author of Peaceful bus stop is enough time to create a Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling connection. and Start Connecting (TarcherPerigee, 2012), says, “Having a regular routine “Too many families or ritual that you do with your teen waste energy nagging.” will bring you closer. Parenting a — Kenneth Ginsburg, MD teen is not a set of strategies. It is a GIVE YOUR CHILD a joyrelationship.” When they come home from school, ful learning experience Most of teens worry about they are busy completing homework or full parents of discovery with : the•possibility that their kids might talking with their friends. They often Exploration of own interests & abilities use drugs or engage in other risky have activities or sports after that, so • Experiential learning behaviors. Research shows that when there are evenings when we don’t eat with field trips, arts parents have a positive relationship dinner together. There are some days • Respectful and caring with their teens, the teens are less when that walk to the bus stop is the learning community • Peace and also likely to takeeducation risks. Research only uninterrupted time we get, which Open House showsmindfulness that when teens feel connected is why I value Wednesday, April 13 it. • Earth stewardship

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“The time we spend together as families should be treasured. It should be spent supporting, guiding, and enjoying each other’s company,” says Kenneth Ginsburg, MD, co-founder of the Center for Parent and Teen Communication. “Too many families waste energy nagging. The bigger goal is to learn to communicate in a way that strengthens your relationships and prepares your teens for healthy relationships with you in the future.” In less than four years my kids might be headed off to college. So I’m taking Ginsburg’s advice and treasuring the time we have together—even if it is only five minutes. ❖ Cheryl Maguire is a nationally published writer with a master’s degree in counseling psychology. Find her on Twitter: @CherylMaguire05.

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September Calendar of Events

Thursday 1 Lake County Fair. Admission: $4–$9. Ages 5 & younger: free. Carnival wristband: $30. Sept. 1: 6–11 p.m. Sept. 2: 4–11 p.m. Sept. 3 & 4: 11 a.m.–11 p.m. Lake County Fairgrounds. 401 Martin St., Lakeport. lakecountyfair.com.

Friday 2 FREE The Blue Zone Project Walking Moai. A moai is a group

of 5–8 people who walk together at least once a week for 10 weeks. Jabber Walking Moai: Fridays 8 a.m. at Anton Stadium, 558 Park Blvd.,

Ukiah. Sho Ko Wah Shakers Walking Moai: Fridays 8 a.m. at 3000 Shanel Rd., Hopland. Willits Walking Moai: Thursdays 5:30 p.m. at Haehl Creek Trail located adjacent to the new Frank R. Howard Memorial Hospital, Willits. info.bluezonesproject.com/ walking-moai. Friday Family Skate Night. Bring

own skates: $5. Borrow skates: $8. Parent or guardian must sign for kids younger than 18. Fridays. 7–9 p.m. Old Recreation Center. 213 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. mendocoastrec.org. Driving Miss Daisy. Based on the

1989 classic movie. Performed by the

Lake County Theatre Company. $25. Sept. 2, 9–10 & 16–17: 7 p.m. Sept. 3–4, 11 & 18: 2 p.m. Soper Reese Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. Tickets: laketheatre.org. FREE Lakeport Mama Walk & Talk.

Weekly walk hosted by Mother-Wise. Open to Lake County moms & their young kids. Fridays. 9:30–10 a.m. Mother-Wise Office. 180 N. Main St., Lakeport. facebook.com/ MotherWiseLakeCounty. FREE Shade Canyon Playgroup.

Open to all families, for ages 5 & younger. Waldorf-style stories, crafts, or nature walks. Sept. 2 &

PACIFIC COAST AIR MUSEUM

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24 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Opportunity

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September 2022

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www.mendolakefamilylife.com


Join the Move Naturally Steps Challenge. July 1 - September 30, 2022

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

September 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 25


16: 10–11:30 a.m. Held first & third Fridays of each month. Peace & Plenty Farm. 4550 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. shadecanyon.org. Paul Bunyan Days. Kiddie games, craft fair, parade, logging show & contests, classic car show, gem & mineral show & more. Thru Sept. 5. Events in Fort Bragg. See website for schedule & event venues. paulbunyandays.com. Skunk Train: Music in the Redwoods. Begins with train ride from Fort Bragg depot at 6:30 p.m. Arrives at The Glen (new outdoor theater) for a musical performance. Sept. 2: Second Hand Grass. Sept. 9: Steven Bates Band. Sept. 10: Marcus McCallen Band. Sept. 16: New Nashville West. Sept. 23: The Real

26 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Sarahs with Alex de Grassi. Ticket includes round-trip train ride, music, drink token & bucket of bottomless popcorn. $32–$75. 6:30–9:45 p.m. Skunk Train Depot. 100 W. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. skunktrain.com/ music-in-the-redwoods. FREE Games at the Library. Board,

card & table-top role-playing games. Use library’s or bring own. All ages & levels. Held 1st & 3rd Friday of each month. Sept. 2 & 16: 4–5:30 p.m. Willits Library. 390 E. Commercial St., Willits. mendolibrary.org.

Saturday 3 FREE Temple of Kwan Tai Tours.

One of the oldest Chinese temples in California. Donations welcome. Saturdays: noon–3 p.m. Sundays: 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Thru October. Temple

September 2022

of Kwan Tai. 45160 Albion St., Mendocino. kwantaitemple.org. Flynn Creek Circus: Balloons, Birds & Flying Things. A

rurally based, award-winning circus bringing international talent to the North Bay. Tickets are sold by table or bench, regardless of age of attendees. $35–$416. Sept. 2: 7 p.m. Sept 3: 4 p.m. & *7 p.m. (*adults 21+ only). Sept. 4: 4 & 7 p.m. Sept. 5: 2 p.m. Mendocino College Coast Campus. 20300 Ocean View Dr., Fort Bragg. flynncreekcircus.com. FREE Caspar Beach Concerts.

Sept. 3: Mama Grows Funk. Sept. 4: Caspar Kings. Sept. 10: Deep Pockets. Sept. 24: Long Shot. Bring lawn chairs & coolers. 1–4 p.m. Caspar Beach RV Park. Garden Stage. 14441

www.mendolakefamilylife.com


Pt. Cabrillo Dr., Mendocino. tinyurl. com/4u457nkd. Lens Tour at Point Cabrillo Lighthouse. Led by docents of

the Point Cabrillo Lightkeepers. All children must be over 42” tall. No babies or pets. First-come, first-served. Masks required. $5–$10. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Tours last 20–40 mins. Point Cabrillo Lighthouse. 45300 Lighthouse Rd., Mendocino. (Lighthouse 1/2 mile walk from parking lot.) tinyurl.com/3wbt6nzh. FREE Noyo Harbor Fish Market.

Local fisher-folk sell catches off their boats & other vendors sell products. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Noyo Harbor. 19101 S. Harbor Dr., Fort Bragg. noyoharbordistrict.org.

Last session for the season: lake ecology. Ages 7–12. 9–11 a.m. Clear Lake State Park Education Pavilion. 5300 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. tinyurl.com/ y89x52uj. FREE Junior Ranger Program.

Annual Blue Wing Blues Festival.

Sept. 3: Lisa Mann. Sept. 4: Alvon Johnson. Sept. 5: Big Mo & the Full Moon Band. Barbeque dinner & concert (opening band & main act): $60. 5:30–9 p.m. Blue Wing Restaurant. 9520 Main St., Upper Lake. Tickets: tallmanhotel.com/news. FREE Farmers’ Market Storytime.

Presented by Ukiah Library. 10–11 a.m. Farmers’ Market. School St., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/mryz98tv. FREE Outside Storytime. Stories, games & crafts. Ages 2–7. 11–11:30

a.m. Round Valley Branch Library. 23925 Howard St., Round Valley. Meet in Walnut Grove behind library. tinyurl.com/4pm6smc5.

Sunday 4 Listen to fiddle tunes played by members of the Northern California Old Time Fiddlers Group. Noon–2 p.m. Ely Stage Stop & Country Museum. 9921 Soda Bay Rd. (Hwy. 128), Kelseyville. lakecountybloom.com/big-calendar. FREE First Fiddlers’ Jam.

FREE Crazy Quilt Petting Zoo.

Food & drinks for purchase. Held first & third Sundays of each month. Sept. 4 & 18: 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Crazy Quilt Farm. 1215 St. Hwy. 20, Upper Lake. crazyquiltfarm.com. FREE Harbor & Seafood Festival.

Seafood, live music, kids’ games &

thrilling & sophisticated children’s camps at select locations

‘...the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.’- Einstein Touring June to October under the BigTop www.mendolakefamilylife.com

September 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 27


pirates. Noon–6 p.m. Point Arena Pier. 810 Port Rd., Point Arena. tinyurl. com/2ph2k6c7.

gov for branches/times. Thursdays. 10:15–10:45 a.m. Registration required: tinyurl.com/35uz76pd.

Wednesday 7

A friendly competition open to all ages. Thursdays. 3–4:30 p.m. Middletown Library. 21256 Washington St., Middletown. tinyurl.com/35uz76pd.

FREE The Traveling Toy Library.

Toys & materials for ages 0–5 available for checkout. Sponsored by Easterseals Northern CA. Mondays: 1:30–3:30 p.m. 1173 11th St. (next to post office), Lakeport. Wednesdays: 1:30–3:30 p.m. Distribution Center. 14085-2 Lakeshore Dr. (next to WIC), Clearlake. Email: earlyintervention referrals@esnorcal.org.

Thursday 8 FREE Storytime with Redbud Library. Stories, songs, rhymes &

games. Other libraries host storytimes on different days. See lakecountyca.

FREE Middletown Chess Club.

Friday 9 Granite Construction Chili Cook-Off. Taste local businesses’ chili & vote for your favorites. Benefits Boys & Girls Club of Ukiah. $5–$10. Ages 5 & younger: free. 6 p.m. Alex R. Thomas Jr. Plaza. 330 S. State St., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/3nat6ne3.

Saturday 10 For grades 3–8. Limited to 6 students. FREE CMAS Lego Robotics.

Meets second Saturday of each month. 11 a.m.–noon. Redbud Library. 14785 Burns Valley Rd., Clearlake. Registration required: tinyurl. com/35uz76pd. FREE Third Annual Big Valley Small Farm Group Tours. Berry

picking, cooking demos, pick-your own pumpkins, food bites, farm stands with produce for sale, farm tours & demos of everything from olive tree pruning to growing Padron peppers. 9 a.m.–3 p.m. Locations: The Ripe Choice Farm, Peace & Plenty Farm, Edenberry Farm, Belllhaven Flower Farm & Campodonico Olive Farm. facebook.com/BigValleySmallFarms. FREE Indian Day Celebration.

Opening prayer, traditional dances, Native cuisine & craft fair. Noon–5 p.m. Konocti Vista Casino. 2755

Expires Expires:10/01/22 08/01/22 • Code: Family Life Magazine

28 MendoLakeFamilyLife

September 2022

www.mendolakefamilylife.com


Mission Rancheria Rd., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/45bhkk72. FREE 40th Annual Steam Festival. A variety of 19th-century

steam-powered equipment will be fired up. Sept. 10 & 11: 10 a.m.–4 p.m. BBQ for purchase on Sept. 10 at 4:30 p.m. 420 E. Commercial St., Willits. tinyurl.com/9e8ansay.

drink token & bucket of bottomless popcorn. $32–$75. 6:30–9:50 p.m. Fort Bragg Depot. 100 West Laurel St., Fort Bragg. skunktrain.com/ cinema-in-the-redwoods.

Saturday 17 FREE Ukiah Community Yard Sale.

Sept. 17: 8 a.m.–1 p.m. Todd Grove

Park. 600 Live Oak Ave., Ukiah. cityofukiah.com/communityyardsale. FREE Coastal Cleanup Day. Help clean up local beaches. 9 a.m.–noon. Map of clean-up sites: coastal.ca.gov/ publiced/ccd/ccd.html. Music & Dance Wave-Up. Family& furry-friendly north coast

Beverages & snacks. $25–$30. Reservations must be made by phone no later than 3:30 p.m. three days before event. Gates: 8 p.m. Tour: 8:30 p.m. 45500 Lighthouse Rd., Point Arena. 707-882-2809, ext. 1. pointarenalighthouse.com. Full Harvest Moon Tour.

Library Luau Fundraiser. Live auction, music by Uketone, catering by Mendocino BBQ. $30–$60. 5–9 p.m. Proceeds benefit Ukiah Valley Friends of the Library. Barra of Mendocino Winery. 7051 N. State St., Redwood Valley. Tickets: tinyurl.com/3vrkvzvj.

Sunday 11 FREE Día de la Independencia.

Traditional Mexican dance, music & food. 1–8 p.m. Main St., Kelseyville. tinyurl.com/ytek3fs8.

Thursday 15 FREE Kickin’ in the Country Street

Featuring Tom Rigney & Flambeau playing Cajun & zydeco music. Bring chairs & dancing shoes. 7–10 p.m. Main St., Kelseyville. tinyurl. com/bdezpwft. Dance.

Skunk Train: Cinema in the

Begins with a train ride from Fort Bragg depot at 6:30 p.m. Arrive at The Glen (new outdoor theater) for the screening of When Harry Met Sally. Ticket includes round-trip train ride, film, Redwoods.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

MTA is pleased to announce, we have expanded MTA is on pleased to Rider. announce, wehas have expanded service the CC Service been added service on the CC Rider. Service has been between Fort Bragg and Ukiah, offering 2 tripsadded daily, betweenthrough Fort Bragg and Ukiah, offering 2 trips daily, Monday Saturday. For the complete schedule Monday Saturday. For the complete visit us atthrough www.mendocinotransit.org or giveschedule us a call visit us at www.mendocinotransit.org or give us a call for more information 1-800-696-4MTA for more information 1-800-696-4MTA Southbound: Mendocino/Fort Bragg to Santa Rosa Southbound: Mendocino/Fort Bragg to Santa Rosa Mendocino, St Anthony’s at 6:58 am Mendocino, St Anthony’s at 6:58 am Fort Bragg, Boatyard at 7:30 Fort Bragg, Boatyard 7:30 am Willits, Babcock Park at 8:30 Willits,Pear Babcock at 8:30 Ukiah, TreePark at 9:20 am am Ukiah, Pear Tree at 9:20 Northbound: Ukiah to am Fort Bragg Northbound: Ukiah toam Fort Bragg Ukiah, Pear Tree at 9:25 Ukiah, Pear atEarth 9:25 am Willits, Hwy Tree 101 at Lab at 9:57 am Willits, Hwy 101Fort at Earth 9:57 am Southbound: BraggLab toatUkiah Southbound: Fort Bragg Ukiah Fort Bragg, Boatyard at 1:45topm Fort Bragg, Boatyard 1:45 pm Willits, Babcock Park at 2:45 Willits, BabcockSanta Park at 2:45to pm Northbound: Rosa Mendocino/Fort Bragg Northbound: Mendocino/Fort Bragg Santa Rosa, 2nd Santa Street Rosa TransittoMall at 1:25 pm nd Santa Rosa, 2 Street Transit Ukiah, Pear Tree at 3:39 pm Mall at 1:25 pm Ukiah, Pear atEarth 3:39 pm Willits, Hwy Tree 101 at Lab at 4:11 Willits, Hwy 101 at Earth Lab at 4:11

September 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 29


ENJOYING OUR MAGAZINE? mendo lake FREE!

September 2021

mash-up of rave & pop-up. Music, dancing, kids’ play area & face painting. $20. Ages 18 & younger: free. 1–5 p.m. Caspar Community Center. 15051 Caspar Rd., Caspar. casparcommons.org/calendar.

1000 Hensley Creek Rd., Ukiah. ukiahconcerts.org.

FREE Kids’ Craft Time. Supplies

Event.

provided. 11 a.m.–noon. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. tinyurl.com/ws6fkdf9.

Special Needs 7 apps for kids

GrandDiva Rockin’ grandmother

Tutor Time Get help Chore Magic Make it fun

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FREE E-Library Petting Zoo. Get hands-on practice borrowing digital items using the library’s laptops or iPads, or bring own device. All ages welcome; children must be accompanied by an adult. 2–4 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. mendolibrary.org. First Annual Cloverfest Beer Festival. More

than 30 breweries & cider makers will be pouring samples. $50–$60. Live music & food (adults 21+ only). Noon–4 p.m. Cloverdale Citrus Fairgrounds. 1 Citrus Fair Dr., Cloverdale. tinyurl. com/4ybnda7k. PCAM Wheels & Wings Show.

Classic & muscle cars from every era parked next to high-performance historic aircraft. $10. Ages 7 & younger: free. 8–2 p.m. Pacific Coast Air Museum. One Air Museum Way, Santa Rosa. tinyurl.com/bdhat38c.

Sunday 18 String quartet. Access via $100 season tickets. Free for ages 17 & younger, when accompanied by an adult. To reserve a free child’s ticket, call UCCA before the concert at 707-463-2738 & provide name, email & phone number. 2–4 p.m. Mendocino College Theatre. The Telegraph Quartet.

September 2022

Wednesday 21 Just Between Friends Kids’ & Maternity Consignment Sales

Sept. 21: Presale Entry: $10–$25. Sept. 22: 10 a.m.–7 p.m. ($6–$8). Sept. 23: 9 a.m.–7 p.m. ($4) Sept. 24: 9 a.m.–3 p.m. (free). Sept. 25: 9 a.m.–2 p.m. (free admission & 50% off public sale). Sonoma County Fairgrounds. 1350 Bennett Valley Rd., Santa Rosa. Full schedule: tinyurl. com/mryv25c7.

Friday 23 Mendocino County Fair & Apple Show. CCPRA

rodeo, classic car show, sheep dog trails, entertainment, carnival, live music & dancing. Admission: $6–$10. Ages 6 & younger: free. Carnival wristbands: $35–$40. Mendocino County Fairgrounds. 14400 Hwy. 128, Boonville. Schedule & tickets: mendocountyfair.com. Comedy theater presented by Lake Family Resource Center. $50. Includes dinner & performance. Benefits Senior Center. Thru Sept. 25. 6 p.m. Lakeport Senior Center. 527 Konocti Ave., Lakeport. 707-263-4218. tinyurl. com/2p83pmha. Mother May I.

Saturday 24 FREE Kelseyville Pear Festival.

Arts & crafts market, antique tractor display, live music & pear goodies. 7 a.m.–4 p.m. Main St., Kelseyville. tinyurl.com/mr7mkszh.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com


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Humor Break For instance, every time we go to the dentist, I’m prepared for my kids to go into wild-animal mode. I wait for them to bolt for the door, grabbing fistfuls of tiny plastic toys from the dentist’s “treasure chest” on their dash out. Sometimes they surprise me, though. This last dentist visit went so well the hygienists lined the hallway to marvel at my ridiculously compliant

No More Forks to Give

Parenting without Shame

By Jessica Guerrieri

R

ight around the second kid, I made a profound discovery:

I don’t give a fork. Parenting is already more tiring than trying to stay awake during Caillou, after taking Nyquil for the cold contracted from your kid affectionately licking your eyeball. So why waste time worrying about what other people think? Recently I overheard a mom describe how mortified she was when her kids refused to eat the seasonal vegetables her in-laws served. “They eat most things, but weren’t familiar with squash or pumpkin.” Who are your in-laws? British monarchs? I thought. 32 MendoLakeFamilyLife

I used to be a worrier just like her. If I had a dollar for every time my kids did something embarrassing we could open our own restaurant. But then came the birth of my second. Disabused of the notion that the doctor would hunt for the baby under a protective sheet, I found myself in a position that had nothing to do with mommy modesty and everything to do with my (relative) comfort. And just like that I shed the burden of worrying about other people’s judgment. Of course, it is always wonderful when ones children act like well-mannered royalty out in public. But parenthood is never the highlight reel we see on Instagram. September 2022

If I had a dollar for every time my kids did something embarrassing we could open our own restaurant. little angels. Ah, success! But for every victory there’s a failure, and how we meet the latter is what matters. Will we brush off embarrassment or let others’ (and our own) judgment weigh us down? As for me, I refuse to be mom-shamed. Even for that time I had to abandon our full shopping cart because my youngest tried potty training in the public restroom and wound up standing ankle-deep in a dirty toilet. I carried out my half-naked toddler and her screaming sister with my head held high. I prefer to spend my energy tackling struggles directly related to my daughters’ well-being. Anything I have leftover goes toward dressing them in matching outfits. And maybe someday we’ll even open that restaurant. It’s motto? “Parents, eat here. We don’t give a fork.” Jessica Guerrieri is a mom, humorist, and writer. Find her at witandspitup.com and on Instagram @witandspitup.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com


Roots of Motive Power

Bells & Whistles On!

A

century ago, steam engines powered the logging industry in Mendocino County, where more than 40 railroads transported logs. While most of those railroads are long gone, the Roots of Motive Power Festival keeps some of the engines alive. At the annual event, steam engines are revved up, ready for visitors to explore and even ride. Besides steam locomotives, a steam shovel, steamrollers, stationary engines, and tractors will be on display, and there will be a demo of old logging equipment, too. The festival runs September 10–11, 10 a.m.–4 p.m., at Roots of Motive Power on Commercial Street in Willits. On September 10 there will be a barbecue, live music, and a silent auction starting at 4:30 p.m. And on September 11, there’ll be a chance to make a linoleum print with a Buffalo Springfield steamroller. A fee will be charged for the barbecue, but the rest of the festival is free. For more information, go to rootsofmotivepower.com and tinyurl. com/2fkyvdjb. ❖

REDWOOD COAST REGIONAL CENTER

Lisa Mann

MIRI STIBEVKA/MIRIFOTO

WE ARE HIRING! JOIN OUR TEAM

Sing the Blues

I

n the male-dominated world of blues music, Lisa Mann has made her mark. The winner of two Blues Music Awards is known for what the roots music website American Blues Scene calls “voluptuous vocals and mastery of the six-string bass.” See her perform at the Annual Blue Wing Blues Festival on September 3, and then listen to Alvon Johnson on September 4 and Big Mo and the Full Moon Band on September 5. Concerts run 5:30–9 p.m. at the Blue Wing Restaurant in Upper Lake. Tickets are $60 for each night and include a barbecue dinner as well as opening band and main act performances. Find out more at tallmanhotel.com/news; purchase tickets on Eventbrite. ❖ www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Associate Service Coordinator: Lakeport or Fort Bragg Deaf/Hard of Hearing Specialist: Ukiah Early Start Coordinator: Clearlake Enhanced Service Coordinator: Ukiah Intake Specialist: Ukiah Nurse Consultant: Ukiah Service Coordinator: Lakeport, Fort Bragg and Ukiah

Employees required to be fully vaccinated Excellent benefits package Serving Lake, Mendocino, Del Norte, and Humboldt Counties Respecting Choice in the Redwood Community

September 2022

www.redwoodcoastrc.org

MendoLakeFamilyLife 33


Mendocino County Fair & Apple Show September 23-25, 2022

9 am to Midnight Daily • Boonville Fairgrounds

SHEEP DOG TRIALS • APPLE & WINE TASTINGS WOOL & FIBER FESTIVAL • CARNIVAL CCPRA RODEOS SAT. NIGHT & SUN. AFTERNOON Friday, 8 pm Scott Forbes Band Saturday, 9:30 pm Dean Titus & The Coyote Cowboys Sunday, 6 pm Los Cautivos & Los Elegantes DTC

www.mendocountyfair.com