The Stranger Vol. 22, No. 39

Page 1


Volume 22, Issue Number 39 May 29–June 4, 2013

Study Guide Questions for The Stranger, Volume 22, Issue 39

1. This week’s Stranger was published over the course of a long Memorial Day weekend. Many Stranger staffers took a vacation on Monday, the day in which much of the paper is traditionally written and edited. Would you say that the resulting shoddy, quickly written newspaper is (a) noticeably worse than most issues of The Stranger? (b) barely worse than most issues of The Stranger? or (c) almost imperceptibly worse than most issues of The Stranger?

Remember to support your claim with textual evidence!

2. GOLDY has authored an impassioned 500-word piece about Sea-Tac Airport workers who are fighting unfair labor conditions. The Stranger is a nonunion newspaper. If scientists somehow managed to identify a standard unit of measurement for hypocrisy, where on the hypocrisy scale would they place Goldy?

3a. In the feature, REBECCA BROWN reflects on the beauty of monsters. One of the last features Rebecca Brown wrote for The Stranger was a hopeful statement of support for Pope Francis. Do you think Ms. Brown recognizes the thematic similarities between these pieces?

3b. Why do you believe Ms. Brown feels obligated to identify and publicly praise the humanity in inhuman, immoral monsters like the Mummy and Pope Francis?

4. EMILY NOKES interviews the Trashies. Isn’t that joke kind of played out? Why or why not?

5. In much better news, DAVID SCHMADER interviews Kyle MacLachlan. Suppose you were playing a game of fuck-marry-kill with your best girlfriends and your choices were Kyle MacLachlan in Twin Peaks, Kyle MacLachlan in Showgirls, and Kyle MacLachlan in Portlandia. Who would you fuck? Who would you marry? Who would you kill? Why?

6a. ANNA MINARD claims to have “never heard of” Sonny and Linda Sharrock. Has Anna Minard ever heard of anything? Do you also picture Ms. Minard as a semi-retarded Helen Keller type trapped in a dank dungeon in The Stranger’s offices? Because I do.

6b. And here’s a follow-up: When the editors throw a Discman with the week’s musical selection into her dungeon, do you believe that Ms. Minard (a) shields her eyes from the light and wails? (b) begs for the sweet release of death? or (c) wordlessly bellows her thanks to what she imagines to be a gracious, giving God for delivering her another gift of music?

7. In his sex-advice column, DAN SAVAGE promotes his new book, American Savage, which is available in bookstores now. How many times do you believe Savage will mention American Savage in his column over the next two years? (Use logarithms if necessary.) How many of those instances will actually be relevant to the conversation?

COVER ART

We Will Find the Jerks by STACEY ROZICH Hurry! Go see Stacey’s show Within Without Me at Roq La Rue Gallery, through June 1! Find more at roqlarue.com and staceyrozich.com.

Find podcasts, videos, blogs, MP3s, free classifieds, personals, contests, sexy ads, and more on The Stranger’s website.

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LAST DAYS

The Week in Review BY

MONDAY, MAY 20 Hello, dear readers, and huge thanks to Ann Romano and Cienna Madrid for filling this column during our time away. This week of slimy psychics, subpar Scotch, and horrifying Islamic jihad kicks off in Oklahoma, where today a combination of severe thunderstorms, unstable air mass, deeplayer wind shear, and a cold front resulted in a huge, deadly tornado that damaged and/or destroyed more than 12,000 homes and killed 24 people, including nine children. Condolences to all who were directly affected, and marching orders for those who weren’t: Give what you can at redcross.org

TUESDAY, MAY 21 In far less tragic news, the week continues in the Pacific Northwest, where an Issaquah psychic is facing felony theft charges after allegedly bilking a customer out of $30,000. Details come from Seattlepi.com, which identifies the psychic as Paula Ann Adams, a 36-year-old palm reader who King County prosecutors say preyed on her customers with one of the oldest tricks in the psychic book. “The basic scam consists of a victim, usually in a vulnerable state, who seeks the help of a psychic palm reader to help them with a relationship problem,” reports Seattlepi.com. “The con artist charges a moderate amount of money for the first reading, then

ONE WIFE, DOUBLE LIFE

For the past year, you have dated two guys without them knowing about each other. You often joke that you want to convince them to be “brotherhusbands.” You’re a hot woman with lots going for you, but you’re so fucking delusional.

You say guy #1 is “romantic, physically fit, funny, but just not the social caliber” you need, and guy #2 is an “East Coast socialite, witty, but not so hot.” You say that you just need a little more time to decide which one you want to be with. “Do I want private jets with a husband always on the road or a humble life where I’m a working mom?” Reality check—you will get NONE, because lies don’t last forever. I’ve been there through the past year of bullshit excuses, and I deserve to be there when the chips fall and both guys leave you. I’ve earned the right to witness this spectacle. I just want to see the breakdown when you realize your “magic pussy” can’t save you this time. When a whole year of karma slingshots back at you like jizz in the eye. Oh, this is going to be good! Someone pop some popcorn.

tells the victim her money must be ‘cleansed’ because it is the cause of the trouble. At the con artist’s urging, the victim cashes out her bank accounts and performs a series of rituals meant to rid the money of evil. Dolls and candles are usually involved… the victim is then cleaned out when she delivers the money to the psychic for a final cleaning.” Accord-

ing to charging papers, this is precisely what allegedly happened to one unnamed woman who sought solace during a divorce by visiting Adams a dozen times and spending hundreds of dollars on palm readings. “She also brought $25,000 in cash and $4,000 in Nordstrom gift cards to Adams for ‘cleansing,’” reports Seattlepi.com. “Investigators later learned Adams went on a shopping spree in the days after the woman gave her the cards. According to charging papers, Adams actually exhausted six of the eight $500 cards the night she received them.” After the woman’s demands to have her money returned were rebuffed, she contacted police, and on March 5, cops raided Adams’s home and office, seizing designer clothing and jewelry believed to have been purchased with the stolen gift cards, along with keys to safety deposit boxes containing $1,500 in cash. (Kicky twist: On May 7, an “associate of Adams who described himself as a ‘gypsy tribunal counsel leader ’ contacted prosecutors and offered to deliver a $4,000 check to ‘make this go away,’” reports Seattlepi.com.) Paula Adams has been charged with one count of first-degree theft and five counts of second-degree theft.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22 In far worse news, the week continues in London, where today Lee Rigby, a 25-year-old British soldier, husband, and father was fatally hacked to death on the street by two Islam-obsessed psychos, who followed the barbaric attack by calmly telling passersby, “By Allah we swear by the almighty Allah and we will never stop fighting you until you leave us alone.” By next week, 10 people will have been arrested in connection with what British authorities are calling a “low-tech terror attack.” Condolences to all, including the many Muslims who don’t support hacking people to death on the street.

THURSDAY, MAY 23 In lighter but still really bad news, the week continues on Interstate 5 near Mount Vernon where this afternoon a 1,111-foot bridge collapsed after an 18-wheeler with an oversize load struck one of the bridge’s overhead tresses. Cars plunged from the broken bridge into the Skagit River, at least three people were taken to hospitals, but, miraculously, no one died

•• Meanwhile in New Jersey, today brought the results of Operation Swill, wherein “Investigators raided 29 establishments around New Jersey on suspicion of filling empty bottles of premium liquor with cheaper brands,” as the New Jersey Star-Ledger reports. As today’s results made clear, booze-swapping was the

DEARGOD TheColumnIn WhichGodAnswers YourQuestions

Everything seems to be moving so fast. Every day brings a new disaster. Monday’s school shooting is followed by Tuesday’s deadly tornado and Wednesday’s suicide bombing. It feels like I barely have time to compute the facts of one tragedy before I’m required to digest the facts of another. There’s zero time to properly process anything emotionally. What can I do to fight back against this deluge of terribleness? And why do you allow so many awful things to happen all the time?

Tanya, Wallingford

Dear Tanya, First, let me tell you that I’m sorry you’re having a hard time—you are my child, and I hate to see you suffer. However, contrary to your perception, I am allowing the same amount of awfulness

least of the accused bars’ problems, with investigators finding one establishment allegedly passing off rubbing alcohol with caramel food coloring as “Scotch” and another allegedly pouring dirty water into an empty liquor bottle and passing it off as booze. “Officials today refused to disclose which places served the rubbing alcohol or the dirty water, or what switches specific bars made, saying the investigation was continuing,” reports the Star-Ledger. (However, 13 of the 29 raided establishments were TGI Friday’s.)

that I always have. I imagine your current troubles have less to do with “what I allow” and more to do with your internet habits. For instance, habitual checking of Twitter can expose one to every bit of bad news a hundred times over. Add in Facebook and general web cruising, and the number skyrockets. Do you really think scrolling past dozens of headlines citing disasters and death-counts has no effect on your well-being? Do you really think honing your ability to encounter tragedy without emotion will do anything but poison your humanity? Fifty bucks says it’s the compulsive “casual” checking of internet devices that’s mucking you up. Restrict yourself to “serious” Twitter use—i.e., only checking it when you’re ready to encounter news of a gazillion deaths alongside your friends’ wisecracks—and watch your life improve. You’re welcome.

net, where she’ll claim sexual harassment at the hands of the NYPD and share her opinion that Chris Brown beat Rihanna because she’s not pretty enough (though Bynes later will claim the Rihanna-related tweets were “fake”). She’ll also steadfastly maintain her status as a completely sane non–drug user, despite the fact that today’s criminal charges were set in motion by a report of Bynes openly smoking pot in the lobby of her Manhattan apartment building, or that Bynes appeared in court today wearing what looked like a wig she found in a ditch. Stay tuned.

SATURDAY, MAY 25 Nothing happened today, unless you count the heavy rains that triggered flash floods that killed two women in San Antonio, Texas, or the school bus explosion that killed 17 children in Pakistan, or the revelation that US television personality Jimmy Kimmel spent $1.9 million on a nude painting of Bea Arthur, which he then gave as a gift to friend and fellow comedian Jeffrey Ross.

FRIDAY, MAY 24 Nothing happened today, unless you count whatever the hell’s going on with Amanda Bynes, the troubled former Disney starlet who today appeared in New York criminal court to plead not guilty to charges of reckless endangerment after allegedly heaving a bong out of a 36th-floor window. Bynes will spend the rest of the weekend going crazy on the inter-

SUNDAY, MAY 26 Nothing happened today, unless you count the continuation of the Sasquatch! and Northwest Folklife festivals in the Pacific Northwest, or the commencement of Arrested Development ’s season four on Netflix.

I love you, Karen Maruyama. Send hot tips to lastdays@thestranger.com and follow me on Twitter @davidschmader.

Heave a bong at THESTRANGER.COM/SLOG

Unfare

Why Does a Woman Have to Sue to Take Over the Family Taxicab After Her Husband Was Murdered on the Job?

Alime-green van is parked in front of the Des Moines home where 43-year-old Baljinder Kaur lives with two of her three children. The van’s vivid color is the first clue that this

isn’t an ordinary suburban mom van—it’s a decommissioned wheelchair-accessible taxi, one of the few cabs equipped to pick up specialneeds passengers in Seattle and King County.

Kaur isn’t a licensed taxicab driver herself, even though, like most working moms, she essentially moonlights as one: The 43-yearold drives her daughter to high school in the decommissioned taxi, she shuttles herself to various part-time jobs in it, she even drives to evening taxi-driving classes in the van, which she and her husband bought together for $30,000 several years ago.

“It was our living,” the Punjabi woman explains. “I stayed at home while my husband worked 10 hours a day driving the taxi.” It was in the driver’s seat of this cab that Kaur’s husband, Harjit Singh, was fatally shot last summer. After Singh’s death, his wheelchair-accessible taxi license, one of only a handful of such licenses in Seattle and King County, was revoked. Now Kaur is suing the City of Seattle and King County for the right to take over her late husband’s license and continue driving the taxi to support her family.

“My husband is gone, our business is gone, I am now a single mom,” Kaur says. “I have lost everything. We had to start over. We need this taxi back.”

Taxicab licenses are strictly regulated and hard to come by, making them an incredibly hot commodity: Seattle caps the number of regular taxicabs in the city at 850. In 2010, Seattle established a new program for issuing wheelchair-accessible-cab licenses, in conjunction with King County. Only 15 licenses were originally released via lottery (that number has since been upped to 45), with the caveat that drivers must fulfill a probationary

five-year driving period before the license would be considered the full, transferable property of the taxicab driver.

Kaur’s husband was one of the lucky few to receive this special probationary license.

However, on August 28, 2012—two and a half years into his probationary period—Singh was shot five times in the chest while dropping off a passenger in Burien. Court records note that the engine of his Farwest Taxi van was still running when paramedics arrived.

Kaur became the executor of her late husband’s estate, and as such, Kaur petitioned the city and the county for the right to fulfill

Singh was shot five times in the chest while dropping off a passenger in Burien.

her husband’s probationary driving period, reasoning that she already owned a taxi and the job’s flexible driving hours would mean she could optimize time with her children. Plus, she could hardly afford to lose her husband’s $5,000 a month in take-home pay.

Her appeal was denied.

Last November, the city’s Finance and Administrative Services department cited Singh’s “failure… to personally drive the vehicle 40 hours per week” as its reason for revoking the license. The King County Board of Appeals unanimously agreed with the city’s decision in March, noting that the license “cannot be transferred until after five years from the original date of issue.” An appeal to

the city’s hearing examiner was also denied.

But Kaur’s attorney, John O’Rourke, says that when evaluating Kaur’s request, city and county officials have overlooked an important clause in the city regulations that govern the transfer of taxicab licenses. Specifically in cases of death or disability, the licensing director has the power to decide the fate of a taxicab license “on a case-by-case basis depending upon the specific circumstances involved.”

Fred Podesta, director of Finance and Administrative Services—which licenses cabs within Seattle—could not be reached for comment on Kaur’s case.

On April 13, O’Rourke filed a lawsuit in King County Superior Court against a number of city and county agencies and appealing the license revocation.

“The city has taken a very mechanical approach—Singh can’t drive the cab, therefore the license is terminated,” O’Rourke says. “If that’s the approach we’re going to follow, why would we even have a rule that says the director can consider special circumstances? This case is entirely composed of special circumstances.”

But attorneys for the city and county are holding firm. In their joint response to the lawsuit, they note that the city’s previous revocation order “speaks for itself,” that “Singh

all members of any license structure will need to have resided for three months in Washington,” wrote Brian Smith, spokesman for the Washington State Liquor Control Board, when I asked him two weeks ago.

is not an eligible driver” because he is dead, and that, being dead, has failed to “personally drive the wheelchair accessible taxicab 40 hours per week for at least 40 weeks per year.” Meanwhile, another taxicab driver and father of three, Faize Kaifa, has added his name to the lawsuit as the next driver eligible to receive Singh’s revoked license. “I remain next in line to receive the Assisted Taxi for Hire License Endorsement,” Kaifa’s affidavit states. “Every day that goes by without the issuance of the license to him is a day in which his income earning potential is unjustifiably and improperly restrained,” his motion for intervention adds.

The case remains in limbo, as a court date has yet to be scheduled. Meanwhile, Kaur is busy preparing herself for another court case—the prosecution of a former family friend accused of murdering her husband.

“I just don’t understand why the city is doing this to us,” Kaur says. “If my husband did something wrong, I could understand. But he was working. He was killed. We just want to move on and survive. Why should my family suffer so much?”

Breaking news, politics, and 500-pound lions at THESTRANGER.COM/SLOG

instead invest in “ancillary” businesses—such as the hash-oil-machine maker, pot-selling software, and web-based weed advertising services. The typical reasoning for this reservation is the big federal question mark, the uncertainty about whether the Feds might start forfeiture proceedings against legal pot investments. It turns out there might be another reason for investors to shy away from state-licensed cannabis companies: Initiative 502 may prohibit out-of-state investors from profiting from Washington’s legal pot businesses.

At least that’s been the state’s interpretation. “The current thinking of the board is that

The state requires three months of residency.

But Troy Dayton of the Arcview Group, a network of accredited investors interested in pot businesses, fears that a lack of outside capital could cause the state’s legal pot experiment to fail. “When people are undercapitalized, they cut corners, they are unable to meet the consumer’s need, and they are unable to commit energy to the things that matter to the public,” he says. Dayton was buoyed by draft rules issued by the liquor

board in mid-May, which make a distinction between owners—so-called “true parties of interest”—and financiers. “There is a residency requirement to be an owner, even a partial owner,” he says. “There doesn’t seem to be that requirement for financiers.”

Can an investor really share in pot profits and not be considered an owner? “It’s definitely a little ambiguous,” says Hilary Bricken from Canna Law Group in Seattle. But the state, upon further consideration, seems to be interpreting its own rules more conservatively. In response to my questions last week, the liquor board has clarified its position on out-of-state investments. “Being entitled to a percentage of the profits from the business would make someone a true party of interest,” Smith tells me. “So, in essence, there is no allowance for an out-of-state financier that expects a percentage of the profits in exchange for a loan.”

BALJINDER KAUR “My husband is gone, our business is gone, I am now a single mom.”
MOLLY BAUER

Runway End Run

The Genius Plot to Empower Low-Wage Airport Workers

After years of negotiating, picketing, lobbying, and organizing, low-paid Sea-Tac Airport contract workers may have finally found a path toward a living wage and better working conditions: the ballot box.

Alaska Airlines, the dominant carrier at Sea-Tac Airport, could impose higher employment standards on its contractors, but has so far been unresponsive to workers’ demands. Port of Seattle commissioner John Creighton says the port is sympathetic but believes it lacks the legal authority. So the workers are doing an end run around both Alaska and the port, taking their grievances directly to the people of SeaTac, the city in which the airport is entirely located.

In early May, a coalition of labor unions, community groups, and religious organizations filed a city initiative that would mandate employment standards within SeaTac’s hospitality and transportation industry, including paid sick leave and a $15 an hour minimum wage. Within two weeks, organizers quickly collected more than 2,200 signatures, well more than the 1,541 needed to qualify for the fall ballot, and nearly half the number of people who voted in SeaTac’s 2011 general election.

It’s a clever use of the local initiative process—targeting a big airport located entirely within the boundaries of a relatively small city. And canvassers are almost giddy at the response they’re getting from voters.

“Support at the doors is overwhelmingly

Fewer Insurance Carriers to Cover Abortion

The Legislature Could Help, But It Has Turned

a Blind Eye

As a strange side effect of Obamacare, formally known as the Affordable Care Act (ACA), fewer insurance plans in Washington State will cover abortions starting next year, just as more than 300,000 Washington women gain insurance coverage under the new law. Currently, 13 insurance companies have filed 17 new insurance policy proposals with the Washington State Office of the Insurance Commissioner. Of those 17 new policy proposals, four currently don’t cover abortions. That erosion in coverage would be a first in our state: Insurance carriers here have historically covered both maternity care and abortion procedures.

Elaine Rose, CEO of Planned Parenthood Votes Northwest, blames “anti-women’shealth extremists” who lobbied Congress to include new barriers to abortion coverage under the new health-care law. She says the problem is that the ACA—which will introduce a number of new, affordable insurance policies in Washington State next October through a federally mandated insurance exchange—restricts insurance providers in ways that make covering abortions more onerous and expensive. For example, if companies choose to cover abortions, insurance

positive,” says Thea Levkovitz, spokeswoman for SeaTac Committee for Good Jobs, which is sponsoring the initiative. Airport workers don’t just work within SeaTac city limits, Levkovitz explains; many of them live and shop there as well. “People are very aware that not only is there an impact for airport workers, but in the community,” she says.

A recent report from Puget Sound Sage found that Sea-Tac Airport contract workers have by far the worst pay, benefits, and job protections of any major West Coast airport, a situation that only got worse after Alaska Airlines contracted out many of their jobs in 2005. For example, Alaska baggage handlers who made an average $13.41 an hour in 2005 were hired back by Menzies Aviation for only $8.75 an hour. Seven years later, these workers were averaging only $9.70 an hour, barely

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above the state minimum wage. Adjusted for inflation, that’s a nearly 40 percent decline in real wages.

By comparison, workers at Oakland’s airport make a minimum of $13.45 an hour, at San Jose, $14.71, and at Los Angeles, $15.37.

“Workers at LAX make $5 an hour more for handling the same bag. Literally the same bag,” emphasizes Levkovitz. And yes, she’s using the word literally correctly.

Once supporters turn in their petitions and the signatures are verified this summer, the SeaTac City Council will have the choice of either approving the measure or putting it on the November ballot.

companies can use only private premium dollars, the funds must be kept separate from federal tax dollars, and the costs must be fully accounted for.

In addition to Planned Parenthood, reproductive-rights groups including NARAL Pro-Choice Washington are responding by lobbying the state legislature with renewed vigor to pass the Reproductive Parity Act (RPA), a bill that would require insurance companies to cover maternity costs and abortion equally on their plans.

But despite bipartisan support and the promised votes to pass the measure, the legislature has failed to do so. Now we’re seeing the results: “This makes it even more clear that coverage is eroding everywhere, and it’s even

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They filed an initiative that would require paid sick leave and a $15 an hour minimum wage. Planned Parenthood blames “anti-women’shealth extremists” who lobbied Congress. Free Pre-Roll before 2pm with any purchase over $20 New patients get Free gram with purchase or a peanut butter bon bon. Open Daily 11am-9pm First Exit off I-90, headed towards Seattle 828 Rainier Ave S 206-329-2223 altercare.co

more imperative that we pass the Reproductive Parity Act,” explains Planned Parenthood public policy director Jennifer Allen.

Theoretically, the legislature has the votes to pass the bill: The RPA passed the house 53–43 during the regular legislative session, and 25 senators signed a letter earlier this year pledging to pass the bill—including Democrat-in-name-only Senate Majority Leader Rodney Tom and Senator Steve Litzow. Yet it’s these two men who’ve used their limited power in the legislature to block a vote on the bill. The legislature’s special session ends June 12.

Comment on these stories at THESTRANGER.COM/NEWS

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SOURCES SAY

• The dramatic collapse of an I-5 bridge over the Skagit River has not moved opponents of the proposed Columbia River Crossing. “The first point I’d like to make is that the bridge was damaged by a truck,” state senator Ann Rivers (R–La Center) told the Columbian. “It’s not like it randomly fell into the river,” she continued. “It was the result of a structural assault from a truck. We don’t have that situation down here.” The 58-year-old Skagit River bridge had a clearance of 14 feet 6 inches. The 55-year-old southbound I-5 span crossing the Columbia River has a clearance of 14 feet 8 inches. Apparently two inches makes all the difference.

• For the fourth time since 1956, stupid, stupid Portland, Oregon, voters rejected fluoridating their municipal drinking water, this time by a 60–40 margin. Sources say 60 percent of Portland voters are “stupid.”

Enjoy your stupid, stupid city, Portlanders, and your stupid, stupid cavities.

• On May 24, Seattle City Council member Tom Rasmussen asked the city planning office to draft legislation that would impose new requirements on certain tiny apartments, requiring them to undergo design and environmental reviews. The recent boom of microhousing (also called aPodments), in which small bedrooms with private bathrooms share a common kitchen, has outraged neighborhood groups opposed to density. In his letter to the city’s Department of Planning and Development, Rasmussen catered to the antidensity agenda by also instructing officials to research banning microhousing in certain areas that currently allow microhousing and other apartment buildings. Asked why he would ban residences—that rent for far less than typical apartments—in places zoned for density, Rasmussen aide Brian Hawksford said his boss simply wanted to know the “pros and cons for a determination later on where to restrict them.”

• At last week’s city council meeting on homeless encampments, Council Member Bruce Harrell seemed concerned that the space allowed per person in the proposed encampment legislation—100 square feet per resident—wasn’t adequate. “Well,” chimed in Nick Licata legislative aide Lisa Herbold, “we’re building aPodments for 150 square feet.”

• Also at that council meeting, some members of the crowd were playing a printed game of NIMBY bingo, assumed to be related to complaints from neighbors about homeless encampments in residential neighborhoods. If anyone has a copy of the bingo card, send it to us!

• In endorsing him for mayor of Seattle, former governor Chris Gregoire lauded state senator Ed Murray for “building coalitions no one believed were possible.” We’re sure Senate Majority Leader Rodney Tom and his Majority Coalition Caucus—which is advancing a Republican agenda—would agree.

• Speaking of Ed Murray, he should have won the sole endorsement of the 36th District Democrats, the grassroots party apparatus for the district in Northwest Seattle, given that the executive board recommended his sole endorsement. But members rejected that recommendation last week, failing to reach majority support for Murray or any other candidate.

• Standing Against Foreclosure & Eviction (SAFE) won a temporary victory in their battle against the banks last Friday when a King County judge granted Jeremy Griffin a stay on his eviction from his South Seattle home. Griffin says he requested a stay on May 11, but was denied. Four days later, Griffin and SAFE began a blockade of his house, pledging to risk arrest if the King County sheriff tried to evict him, attracting attention from TV cameras and this newspaper. “I’m kind of offended that the law appears to be malleable, and that political pressure can change outcomes,” Griffin says. Meanwhile, the investment bank Morgan Stanley says it doesn’t own Griffin’s mortgage loan, but sources say the bank previously sold the loan off to investors represented by Deutsche Bank. That process of selling off loans is called securitization, which helped wreck the economy.

• Roaming the grounds of the Sasquatch! music festival was eternally dreamy state representative Joe Fitzgibbon (D-34), there with gubernatorial aide Unjin Lee to give the Governor’s Recognition Award to the festival founders and organizers. Fitzgibbon tweeted a picture of himself, Lee, and Built to Spill frontman Doug Martsch hanging out backstage.

• The City of Seattle is shelling out $20,000 to the Seattle Times to settle a dispute over public records. The daily paper had threatened to sue the Seattle Police Department for failing to release a memo relating to May Day 2012, which the paper insisted was a violation of the state’s Public Records Act. But that kerfuffle is just the tip of the iceberg. KOMO is suing the city in another records-request case— which reached the state supreme court in May—that alleges the SPD illegally withheld dash-cam footage. KOMO also reported in 2011 that the SPD destroyed thousands of videos that apparently should be public record. Seattle City Council members appear to be the only ones in city hall taking this seriously. Nick Licata and Jean Godden wrote a memo to Assistant Chief Clark Kimerer on May 9, pressing to know how the SPD communicated its intent to block the Seattle Times’ records request. And on Tuesday, Council Member Bruce Harrell issued a statement that calls the city’s failure to release the records “completely unacceptable.” But Mayor Mike McGinn—who appointed the obstinate former chief that shielded the records, who’s intimate with the department’s failures to release records, and who oversaw the department getting sued for civil-rights violations—is the one in charge of the police. At least in theory. He hadn’t responded to a request for comment by press time.

BY MAYOR MIKE MCGINN

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Mugged at Gunpoint on Beacon Hill

How It Happened, What a Cop Said to Me After It Happened, and What Happened a Few Weeks Later When I Was Robbed Again

We were on Beacon Hill, my roommate and I, walking home from Bush Garden after butchering some Springsteen. We’d missed the late 36 bus, so we decided to hoof it. We were at 14th Avenue South and South Atlantic, just past the PacMed building, when a kid in his late teens wearing a black hoodie asked us for the time.

We ignored him and kept walking. But he kept asking.

Four other kids in the same getup emerged from behind a bush, one of whom had a gun. He pointed it in our faces. Things continued normally from that point (as normally as you’d expect for an armed robbery). They threatened; we complied. I tried to negotiate for my glucometer, but they outargued me pretty succinctly: “Do you want to get shot, motherfucker?”

Naturally, I said no, and they ransacked our pockets and took off down a side street. They made off with $11, two gently used smartphones, my key ring, my insulin, my glucometer, and my tip check. Fortunately, our other roommate was home, I happen to know her phone number by heart, and I had plenty of backup diabetes supplies at home, including a second glucometer. It was humiliating to be robbed of my valuables, my medicine, and my pride, but it could have been much worse. My roommate and I looked at each other, let it wash over us, and kept walking. The only words we could muster up were “I guess that just happened.”

According to Seattle Police Department numbers, robberies in the first three months of this year are up 10 percent over last year. About two blocks into our trek, a cop rolled by, and we flagged him down. He made a very unconvincing effort to track our assailants, giving the distinct impression that he believed our cause lost from the get-go. He also made sure to let us know, “If they tried to rob me, I would have pulled out my gun and asked them, ‘How badly do you want my stuff?’” I wasn’t in the mood to point out how incredibly foolish that statement was, so I just let it slide, borrowed his cell phone to get ahold of our roommate so we could get into the house, and let him drive us home.

The second time it happened to me, I was riding my bike home from work late on a Saturday, cruising down Beacon Avenue by the Red Apple. A gaggle of drunk high-school kids was lurking at the light-rail station, engaged in that type of wholesome social gathering that can only take place at midnight on a Saturday.

As I passed the station, a couple of their compatriots emerged—again, from some bushes—on my side of the street, forming a human blockade of sorts. Their body language was nonthreatening at first. It seemed like they wanted to maybe mess with me for

According to Seattle Police Department numbers, robberies in the first three months of this year are up 10 percent over last year.

having a shiny bike and wearing leggings under my shorts (which I was already making enough fun of myself for, thank you very much… it was cold, and I forgot to do laundry). When I stopped moving, they pressed closer to me, asking if they could ride my bike or play with my phone.

Their haranguing quickly turned from “Let me try your bike” and “Let me see your phone” to “Give me your phone, bitch.” Even before that, I sensed that something was off about the situation and tried to move around them to remount and speed off. When their hostilities erupted a bit too soon for that, I picked up my bike and backed down the sidewalk, using it as a shield to fend off my assailants.

The rowdier our exchange got, the more

vengeance. It wasn’t much of a stretch to imagine myself shooting down my attackers in cold blood, and I’ll admit I even looked up the prices of handguns online. I used to be so into Death Wish, the 1974 vigilante movie featuring a mustachioed Charles Bronson revenge-killing anyone he deemed a worthless street punk to avenge the murder of his wife in an armed home invasion. How could you blame a likable, ostensibly liberal guy for his rage toward these smarmy street criminals in leather jackets? Especially after what happened to the woman he loved? I’m a sucker for a bad mustache and some good camp, and I bought the movie’s bullshit—the massive logical leap of killing random people just because he was pissed, all perfectly obfuscated with the heartstring-tugging details—hook, line, and sinker.

I’ll admit I fantasized about spending my nights stalking my muggers through South Seattle, waiting for them to strike another unsuspecting victim, only to become victims themselves. I wanted to take them unawares, shoot them in the legs, and leave them bleeding for the cops to find. In short, I was thinking some really psycho shit.

Thankfully, I’m not a psycho. I’m pretty dedicated to nonviolence, and I can’t really conceive of a scenario where I would use force for any purpose other than defending myself. Given the chance to replay either of my muggings with a gun tucked in my waistband, I’d decline without hesitation, for two reasons.

One, the more handguns that exist in society, the more likely one is to be robbed at gunpoint. Second Amendment defenders can crow on all they want about responsible gun ownership, but more guns means more guns in the hands of criminals and responsible gun owners alike. Given my experiences, I’d rather face an unarmed mob (like that second pack of kids) than one guy with a gun. I’d rather take a good old-fashioned beating than a shot any day. Having to administer a beating makes a criminal work harder for their ill-gotten gains. If I’m gonna sling plates all week for my dough, muggers should have to work a little harder to take it from me. And it would be hypocritical of me to have that conviction but then go out and get a gun myself.

attention it drew from the crowd in front of the station, and soon I was facing a small mob of larcenous high schoolers. They were throwing haymakers at me through my bike frame. I knew that if they got behind me, I was finished, having recently watched a shit-talking Juggalo fall victim to the same tactics at the hands of a mob of kids at Westlake. So I backed into the middle of the road, hoping to use traffic to keep them from getting behind me.

None of the drivers whose path of travel was impeded offered assistance (this is Seattle, after all), but they saved me by serving as silent witnesses. After a few more abortive lunges, my attackers had exhausted their fervor for robbery and retreated to the station. I was shaken, and they had stripped my backup glucometer from my pants pocket in the scuffle, but I still had my phone and my insulin and my bike.

The most salient feeling one is left with in the wake of a mugging is impotent rage. After both incidents, I couldn’t sleep. I sat up in bed, seething, my mind racing through various scenarios of

Two, I intend to live out the rest of my life without ever taking anyone else’s. True, there are many ways to kill someone without using a gun. I could have brained one of those kids with my U-lock. But unlike a gun, a U-lock is not designed to kill. As someone who has no desire to kill others, I don’t see the point of owning a handgun. This makes me think that people who insist on owning guns as a means of self-defense are either (a) mentally prepared for the reality of killing another human being (doubtful), or (b) living in a Bronson-esque fantasy world where the lives one imagines taking are the lives of cartoonish street toughs, not teenage kids with poor judgment, braces, and some very worried parents at home.

Gun ownership is just not the solution to street crime. Reducing income inequality and increasing access to public transit late at night—seriously, can someone please do something to increase public transit late at night?—might help, but getting more citizens to tote handguns won’t. I realize that last sentence sounds like textbook liberal fantasy, but it’s far from fantastical. It’s based on my real-life experience with two real-life muggings, one with a gun and one without. I have a sneaking suspicion that most of the people arguing so vehemently for gun ownership can’t say they’ve had that same experience.

Comment on this story at THESTRANGER.COM

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In Defense of MONSTERS

On Creatures Aghast, Afraid, Ashamed of Themselves, and Creepy to Everyone Else

Iloved monster movies when I was a kid, and sometimes I still do. The old corny ones more than the new ones: Frankenstein, Wolfman, Dracula, Creature from the Black Lagoon

The little boys I ran around with (most girls didn’t like monster movies) and I loved, especially, Lon Chaney and Boris Karloff. We even loved saying their names.

I remember how the Creature from that Black Lagoon had that weird fish mouth, like he was always trying to say something but couldn’t, or trying to breathe or suck but couldn’t do that either. His eyes were too high on his head and wide-open like he was frightened. Of us? Of himself? Of what he might do with his creepy flesh? Or just surprised like, Why me? Why me? Is this really me?

He looked like any minute he could drown, even though he lived in water. He also couldn’t be out of water for long. There wasn’t any place where he could always be. Something had happened to make him wrong,

The Creature from that Black Lagoon had eyes that were too high on his head and wide-open like he was frightened. Of us? Of himself? Or just surprised like, Why me? Why me? Is this really me?

and things weren’t right with him. Some of us partly knew some of this, but also there were other things we didn’t know and didn’t want to. He had finny hands and scaly legs and bony, webby feet and a big wide gaping-open toothless wanting mouth. He looked pathetic.

For a while, there was a girl in class who had skin between her toes. As soon as we heard she did, we made her show us. It looked like webs. Another girl screamed and made a face when she saw her feet. The girl wasn’t in school very long with us; I think her family moved around a lot. Likewise, I remember Frankenstein’s creature, how he lurched around and cried like someone who lived in our neighborhood but whom we never saw. I only knew about this neighbor because sometimes I heard him crying. It was a sad, wide whine, not crying like tears but crying like moaning. Like sounds from someone who couldn’t say what he needed to. It sounded like a child except it sounded like a man and then, when I saw the movie, like Frankenstein’s creature.

Dr. Frankenstein’s creature lifted his hands toward the light. His sleeves were too short, so you could see his skinny, bony wrists. His hands were shaky and pasty white. He looked pathetic, too.

In Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, I learned when I finally read it in my 20s, the creature is initially described as, partly, beautiful: “His limbs were in proportion, and I had selected his features as beautiful. Beautiful! Great God!… His hair was of a lustrous black, and

flowing; his teeth of a pearly whiteness” (Volume 1, Chapter IV). The doctor made the creature from the best parts of a bunch of different bodies. (What happened to the other parts the doctor didn’t choose? What happened to those bad dismembered bits? What is it to be less than Frankenstein’s creature?) At first, the creature wants to love and be loved by his “father.” But when his “father” sees what he’s created, he is repulsed. He runs away “to avoid the wretch.” Abandoning what he brought forth from pride. Why bring to life a thing you will reject? Why make a thing, belt it, then run out on it? Why make a thing that hates itself? A thing that wishes it

JAMES YAMASAKI

was not alive? Who is flawed in this scenario? Whose awful fault is what?

The Wolfman turned into something he couldn’t change back. He had to be another thing he was ashamed of. Would he have been all right if he’d been able to live in the woods? I mean without other human beings. I remember him writhing, frothing at the mouth, his legs and stomach clutching, and him returning to looking normal as he died.

The Mummy was someone dead who was trying to stay that way, at peace. Sometimes you’d rather be dead than stay alive. But other people wanted to steal his gold and jewels and secret ancient stuff. They were told they shouldn’t—there was a curse—but they did it anyway. I remember the creak of the painted sarcophagus opening (I loved it when I learned that word), the giant, shifting shadows on the wall, the weird music. I remember the clutch and the lurch and the fall, the body’s hurt as it becomes undead. I remember it slowly unwrapping itself, unwinding the limp white cloth that had protected it. It fell away like a tired dress at the end of the day from a girl who doesn’t want to do what she’s about to do; it falls to the floor. No wonder the Mummy turns on them, no wonder the girl shuts down and lashes out with all the stuff wound up inside of her.

Mummies were embalmed; they’d had their innards taken out, and sometimes they were buried with their cats, which, selfish as it was to kill your pet, at least it meant you would not be dead alone.

The girls who did like monsters liked Dracula. I didn’t as much. Dracula was rich and had everything. He lived in his family’s castle, and I could tell beneath his soft, calm voice was something that was neither soft nor calm. What I did like about Dracula was that normal people couldn’t see him in a mirror. Sometimes, people won’t see you even when they think they look. There was also the lady with snakes in her hair. I didn’t see her in the movies, but in my dreams. I dreamed about her all the time for years. I remember half waking up terrified, trying to get myself fully awake so I could get out of my bed and out of my room and go find my mother to comfort me. At some point, she told me that there was a lady in ancient stories named Medusa who had snakes for hair. Had I heard a story about her somewhere, my mother wanted to know. I must have. Where? Was there something I wanted to tell my mother? She worried. Medusa was, for many years, my in-my-own-head-nightmare-dreaming movie. Was she a monster or something else? Had she been in me forever or just arrived? Was she in me to protect me or to teach me something? Was she warning me? It has been years, now, since I dreamed of her. But I do not forget.

Idon’t remember if I was actually frightened by monster movies or if I just liked that they indicated that someone else knew the world was, in addition to the way it was supposed to be, a weird and creepy place. Sometimes the monsters weren’t really monsters but only people that something had happened to or who got lost from the faraway place where they were meant to live. A lot of times, if you thought about it, the monsters would have been nice. I remember an episode of The Twilight Zone that was about a sort of monster. I think I even remember the title of it. Which I could look up but I’m not going to because half— maybe more than half—of what’s important about what you remember is the way you

remember it even if it’s not exactly right. The title I remember is “The Eye of the Beholder,” and it was about a girl who was really, really ugly, so ugly and deformed—she was repulsive—people couldn’t stand to look at her. So these people were going to give her an operation so she could look normal and they wouldn’t have to look at her horrible repulsive face anymore. The way everyone reacted to her made you think that if you looked at her, you would throw up, but that, because they felt sorry for her, they were nice.

There were a lot of doctors in the episode, along with a lot of hushed, earnest talking about the ugly deformed gross hideous girl’s repulsiveness. The episode built up to the operation. Then, after the operation, when the result of their attempt to fix the girl is going to be revealed, there was a huge tension as the nice people unwrapped the bandages. This part is shot from the point of view of the girl, so you can see the bandages coming off layer by layer. They’re gauzy and freeing and loose—it was kind of almost beautiful to see.

the room.

From the outside, I imagined the bandages looked like the bandages that came unwrapped in The Mummy and The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb. In her case, though, you see it only from the inside, from in her, all waiting and hopeful and terrified.

Everything else before this had been shot from behind or above; you’ve never seen the doctors’ or nurses’ faces. Then, when at last the mummy bandages are unwrapped, the doctors and nurses see the girl and… they gasp in horror. She is still completely ugly; she is repulsive. As ugly and gross and hideous and repulsive as she was before. You get nervous they’re going to show you her horrible face and you might vomit. But then, when the camera shows her—she’s beautiful! Gorgeous! Prettier than any girl in my class and even all of the pretty, popular girls who were my older sister’s friends. She is soooooo pretty! Then the camera moves back and you see, for the first time, the doctors’ and nurses’ faces, and they are ugly. Their lips are fat and twisted, and they have huge flaps over their eyes, and everything on their faces is bulbous or in a slightly wrong place.

How did you not notice, while it was happening, that the camera never showed you how the “normal” people looked?

You cover your eyes.

Girls around me were squealing and laughing. I felt hot and stupid and something else and ran from the room.

That night, my older sister—she was in high school—was having a slumber party. A lot of her popular, pretty friends were over, and they were watching TV and rolling their hair and practicing cheers and talking about boys. Because they thought I was funny and sweet, and because I was young enough they could act like grown-ups with me (which I kind of thought they were), they let me hang around with them.

I ran from the room where the TV was and into the bedroom my sister and I shared. But one of my sister’s friends was in there changing into her pajamas and didn’t have any clothes on, which when I saw I stopped and gawped at then turned around and ran away again, but there was nowhere else to go. Where could I hide?

I was too young to talk about boys, but I wouldn’t have anyway.

I didn’t know that then. Did they? Would they have known the thing I was if they had looked at me?

theSTRANGER SUGGESTS

‘Frances Ha’ FILM

Frances (a fantastic Greta Gerwig) is 27 and decidedly does not have her shit together. She bounces from job to job and apartment to apartment, barely scraping by while trying to make it as a dancer. Her friends are either better at life or just luckier; she’s not sure which. To some, this may feel like another entry in the subgenre of cringe-inducing comedy, but this new film by Noah Baumbach is closer to late-’70s Woody Allen classics like Annie Hall or Manhattan (to which it is obviously indebted). It’s hilarious and touching, and you definitely know someone like Frances. (See Movie Times: thestranger.com/film) MATT LYNCH

Jaron Lanier

BOOKS

If you missed Jaron Lanier’s manifesto You Are Not a Gadget, you’ve got some catching up to do. Gadget, which imagines a more humane internet, earned praise from such diverse sources as engineers, software designers, Zadie Smith, and me. Lanier’s new book, Who Owns the Future, is about how digital technology can save our economy. Any douchebag can call himself a futurist, but Lanier has earned the title by being ahead of the curve on every major technological advancement since the internet began. Go see what we should do next. (Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, townhallseattle.org, 7:30 pm, $5) PAUL CONSTANT

‘Alice Walker: Beauty in Truth’ SIFF

Alice Walker is much more than simply (simply!) the first black woman to win the Pulitzer Prize. She’s a trailblazing feminist, a civil-rights activist who married a Jewish man at a time when interracial marriages were still illegal in some states, and a self-described renegade. (Sample Walker quote: “People really had a problem with my disinterest in submission.”) Beauty in Truth examines her words, her upbringing, her cultural influences, and everything else that makes Alice Walker so fucking iconic. (Bonus: Alice Walker will be present at tonight’s premiere.) (Egyptian, 805 E Pine St, siff.net, 7 pm, $12) CIENNA MADRID

Ginny Ruffner ART

Ginny Ruffner is all heart. She is easily the most lovable and exuberant artist ever to hail from this city. In her show of new works at Traver Gallery, she presents a new chapter: drawings on paper, made with paint, pencil, and image transfers, of flowers and birds and words and creatures. They have titles like Explosion in a Curly Factory. With them is another series, this one of glass sculptures, mostly so multicolored they almost make you sick, your dizziness converted at the last moment into joy by contrasting parts that are pure, clear, clean, watery glass. Heal here. (Traver Gallery, 110 Union St #200, travergallery.com, 10 am–5 pm, free, through June 2) JEN GRAVES

Rachel’s Ginger Beer Milkshake

CHOW I walked into Cupcake Royale thinking I was going to get a red velvet cupcake shake, but a sign told me about their special—a Rachel’s Ginger Beer milkshake. It’s a thick, creamy blend of RGB’s potent soda and CR’s vanilla ice cream, and it’s wonderful. I’m never going back to regular milkshakes. The shops also currently have an orange hibiscus sorbet that would no doubt be amazing when combined with the tangy ginger beer. And! RGB milkshakes are available at all three Bluebird ice creameries, too. YUM! (Cupcake Royale Ballard, Bellevue, Capitol Hill, and downtown, cupcakeroyale.com) MEGAN SELING

‘The Vaudevillians’ STAGE

Since the hometown actor, singer, and drag queen Jinkx Monsoon done good on RuPaul’s Drag Race, hearts (gay and straight) have been going pitter-pat all over town. Back before the stardom, Jinkx and her collaborator, Major Scales, developed a show called The Vaudevillians, about two old-timey variety stars who were frozen in an avalanche, have been thawed by global warming, and are trying to sing, dance, and joke their way back into the 21st century. This is their send-off show before The Vaudevillians goes to NYC. (Cornish Playhouse at Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St, thevaudevillians.brownpapertickets.com, 7:30 and 9:30 pm, $10–$25) BRENDAN KILEY

An Evening with Kyle MacLachlan

Kyle MacLachlan is the Northwest-native-turnedHollywood-star who’s racked up a career of indelible cinema moments, from picking up that ear in Blue Velvet to anchoring that pool-sex scene in Showgirls to serving as mayor of the eponymous city in Portlandia. Tonight, MacLachlan submits himself for an onstage Q&A (complete with career-spanning clip reel!), then joins the lucky crowd in watching the 90-minute pilot of the show that gave MacLachlan his greatest role, David Lynch’s Twin Peaks. (SIFF Cinema Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave N, siff.net, 7:30 pm, $35) DAVID SCHMADER

Robyn Hitchcock

MUSIC

British singer/songwriter/guitarist Robyn Hitchcock may be fully gray-haired now, but his music possesses an evergreen sheen. With his accomplices in the Venus 3—Peter Buck, Scott McCaughey, and Bill Rieflin, plus former Harvey Danger frontman Sean Nelson—Hitchcock should be engineering another smile-intensive night of gently twisted psychedelic pop and between-song stream-of-subconscious ramblings. His catalog bursts with beautifully wistful melodies and smart, weird lyrics, and if we’re lucky, maybe Hitch will toss in a couple of Soft Boys tunes. (Neptune Theater, 1303 NE 45th St, stgpresents.org, 8 pm, $20, all ages) DAVE SEGAL

JOSE A. GUZMAN
Jinkx Monsoon

ARTS

Are you a nerd or a romantic?

vanishing point, making it look like the walls on either end of the gallery have disappeared, and you could just walk right through and continue down the street in both directions.

Gamer Versus Hippie

Two Landscapers Who Will Get You Lost

“I’m proud to be a lower middle class suburban white male,” Damien Gilley says in a phone conversation. “I’m not interesting,” the artist adds, getting to the heart of what he’s proud of, which is not class or race or gender per se but the way they add up to nothing much. It’s the kind of shared nothing-much with contours you can guess at: He played video games as a kid, right? Yes. Nintendo and Atari, “first versions.” He’s in his 30s. He grew up in Southern California, moved to Las Vegas, and settled in Portland. He grafts blueprints of three-dimensional extensions onto two-dimensional surfaces. He takes walls that are already built and softly unbuilds them. They become places instead, traversable and segmented like corridors in video games.

He starts by visiting a place and taking pictures of, say, one of the walls. Back in the studio, he uploads the photos and sketches on them in Adobe Illustrator. He then takes the finished digital drawing to the site, projects it onto that same wall, and lays down his sketch in colored sticky tape. The result often looks like a cross section gone crazy, with doorways leading to nowhere, overhangs floating in midair, staircases detached. Then again, the scene is grounded in reality. If you can just approach it from the correct angle, the shapes will fall into place and unlock another three-dimensional world.

It’s only semifictional. Gilley did walk the street and borrowed some of the structures he found. He quoted others from within Suyama Space: rafter beams, cutout windows, bookshelves. On the southern-facing wall, there are skyscrapers drawn in the “distance,” just as real towers rise to the south of the gallery down Second Avenue. Low roofs like KeyArena’s cluster at the farthest point in the northern drawing, on the wall nearest the actual KeyArena.

artists totally agree this is a good, if counterintuitive, way to go.

LOOSE LIPS

• This summer’s Game Show will be the final production in the basement space that Theater Schmeater has called home for 21 freaking years. It’s a long-ass time for a basement fringe theater. The issue is that Brocklind’s costume shop vacated the upstairs, and the two were good neighbors because they had opposite business hours, so there were never any noise problems. Now the upstairs space is going to house a restaurant and bar, and the theater ceiling is already so low, it can’t accomodate sound-muffling or a drop ceiling, which, according to artistic director Douglas Staley, would preclude “casting anyone over five foot six. Our light designers make miracles, but that really is more than I could ask for.” Schmeater has no debt and is looking for a new home where actors of all heights will be welcome. Perhaps Matthew Richter (see below) could give them a hand.

REVIEW Everything Right and Anywhere Now: Peter Scherrer SEASON at Platform Gallery Through June 15

But these aren’t flat drawings only. The drawings extend beyond the walls onto tiered rows of foam-core boards, arranged so that if you stand precisely at the center of the room—and at roughly the artist’s height of five foot nine—the shapes all line up perfectly to create this imaginary continuation of Second Avenue beyond the gallery walls. Or almost perfectly. Gilley leaves the tape slightly, humanly messy. And only a camera, with its monoscopic eye, can make every last line match up. If you’re like me, the imperfections will only draw you in. I kept moving to get one shape to line up and losing another, bobbing and weaving like I’d been challenged to a logic puzzle. It kept me because I couldn’t solve it, because the ground literally seemed to shift underfoot.

Damien Gilley: AXIS INDEX Suyama Space Through Aug 19

Walls are world-defining surfaces that can easily disappear into the background in everyday life, Gilley points out. He tries to use them to re-obsess you with views and what’s blocking them, using only the sparest of lines and shapes, allowing the mind to fill in the rest. I saw another of his works in 2010 in Portland; it was in a crowded exhibition and didn’t work on me. This new piece is a nerdy marvel.

Scherrer, like Gilley, bemusedly lives up to the type. His parents were hippies in Bellingham. “I wasn’t allowed to play video games as a kid,” Scherrer says on the phone. “We, like, dug holes in the backyard and made tree houses.” He solo-hiked for fun as a teenager, worked for a potter. Today he’s a 30-year-old parent and a carpenter. After he went to art school in California, he came back, entranced anew with old things, both for better and worse. The majestic but shadowy woods. The childhood friends who stayed and became drug addicts. His landscapes contain kid jokes—there’s a doodled chipmunk—ensnared in gothic nests. Cartoon froggy eyes bug out of a claustrophobic thicket; a cutely sketched pocketknife rests on a tree whose gnarls block out all the sun in the world.

Scherrer’s brushstrokes veer from controlled to feral. “I like the push and pull,” he says, “between ‘Awesome, how did he do that?’ and ‘My kid could do that.’” I lose him when he uses ink—it’s too flat. When his oils are right at that point of being as clear as they are muddy, I fall right in.

ART

The Odd Couple

Both Sides of the Jekyll and Hyde–iest Show in Town at Traver Gallery

“EGilley’s computer screen might look like the screen of a working architect whose building is still in unmoored parts, moving around, being mixed and remixed to see what fits where. AXIS INDEX, his latest installation, is at Suyama Space, the art gallery in the belly of a functioning architecture office, Suyama Peterson Deguchi. Gilley’s two-part drawing installed on either end of the gallery has a very uptight name for a fun experience. Each drawing is in spring-green tape. Each is done in one-point perspective, pulling toward a distant

The nerdiness is a matter of style, of the nothing-much expressionlessness of blueprints. Nerds, gamers, architects, and cartographers form one strand of the double helix of Northwestern landscape art. The other strand is hippies, stoners, and romantics. The hippies are into mold, dripping, growing, engulfing, altered states, fever, and chills. They have a strong new inductee in Peter Scherrer of Bellingham. I recommend back-to-back visits to AXIS INDEX and Scherrer’s show of oil and ink paintings, Everything Right and Anywhere Now at Platform Gallery (hosted by SEASON). The

REVIEW

Ginny Ruffner and Doug Jeck

Traver Gallery Through June 2

xplosion in a curly factory” is the first thing you see. The words are written curly-cursive with corkscrewing arms of octopuses and coiled snakes spiraling around them. Wheeee! The whole world is resonating in the same gleeful key. It’s a painting by Ginny Ruffner, the most irrepressible spirit in Seattle art, whose other new pieces include a shark bumping its nose on a multicolored water balloon, a leaf dreaming of pretty flowers, and a daisy with a different pattern on every petal in a swarm of “yeses.” Circle back past “Explosion in a curly factory”—wheee!—to another show in the back room where, front and center, there are the bloody stumps of a woman’s

• Congratulations to Matthew Richter— Storefronts Seattle manager, Consolidated Works founder, and friend o’ The Stranger (and former theater editor)— who’s just been appointed the cultural space liaison for the City of Seattle’s Office of Arts & Culture. Building (har-har) on his experience with Storefronts, Richter will work with various city agencies to help get artists/arts organizations into available city spaces for development, rehearsal, and presentation of their work.

• Did Flying Lotus blow the roof off the Showbox Sodo? Last week, the day after the most important musical mind of our time (per Charles Mudede) played the venue—and just as the FareStart Guest Chef Spectacular was getting ready to begin—a big-ass crack in a structural beam was found. The building was evacuated, and the Spectacular was canceled. Whether it will spectaculate elsewhere remains to be seen; refunds are available, and you may (and should) contribute directly to FareStart at farestart.org.

• The bad news: Once Sold Tales, an online retailer/warehouse in Kent, is closing. The good news: They’re selling 500,000 used books for a buck or two a pop! If you enjoy scavenging shelves for hours at a time, you should head to Kent and start digging.

• Because self-promotion is always in style: The Stranger’s own Paul Constant is hosting Cage Match, a one-day Nicolas Cage film festival, at SIFF Cinema Uptown on Saturday, July 6. Nic till you’re sick with six of Cage’s greatest movies from 11 a.m. to midnight. Tickets for all six movies are $35, available now at siff.net. Food truck Now Make Me a Sandwich will be outside.

• The Made at Hugo House program, in which six Seattle-area writers under 35 are given institutional support from Hugo House in the form of classes, office space, a deadline, and a community of writers to workshop material, is accepting applicants now. All you have to do is explain something literary—a novel, a memoir, a poetry collection—that you’re working on and would like to finish. Visit hugohouse. submittable.com/submit/21216 for more information.

COURTESY OF THE ARTISTS
DAMIEN GILLEY, LEFT, AND PETER SCHERRER
ARTS GOSSIP
NICOLAS KIM COPPOLA

freshly amputated legs. Her mouth is open in a scream, but it is not a woman’s face, it is the face and head of a monkey-wolf whose flesh is being melted off. This is called Puberty. It’s by Doug Jeck. Ruffner and Jeck are sharing the Jekyll and Hyde–iest double bill in art history. Wheee!

Ruffner, a native Southerner guided by mischievous humor, has built in Ballard a home/studio as ripe and teeming as her art. She’s been the subject of a documentary and a retrospective, and she created the 27-foottall potted tulip, daisy, and bluebells in a pot across the street from ACT Theater downtown. The Urban Garden (2011) is meant to be whimsical, but it is five tons and makes me feel oppressed.

Over the years, Ruffner has sculpted big, lively crashes of metal and glass twisted together and around each other. Her new works are more delicate. Small details are painted onto flameworked glass sculptures of flowers, animals, and clouds that you could hold in your hands. Clear glass is used sparingly, to temper rabid color. The pieces on paper feel especially fresh, made by transferring images in surrealish collaged arrangements. She then paints, draws, or writes in the white spaces, or leaves the spaces blank around the playful image puzzles. A series of straightforward botanical-illustration-style transfers on textured paper is banal, but the rest of the paper pieces transmit the intense likability of the Ruffner spirit.

Jeck is a professor in ceramics at the University of Washington. He doesn’t often come out with work of his own, but when he does, it is undeniably intense—Jeck and Ruffner share this, and only this—and technically brilliant. You cannot argue about whether Jeck is a very good artist; he certainly is. Whether you like it or not is another matter. I wish I’d gotten to see a solo show he had two years ago at Gasser Grunert Gallery in New York, and I’ve always wished for more of his work, period. His two pieces in the group show Wet and Leatherhard at Lawrimore Project a few years ago were devastating, using video, photography, sculpture, half-dried clay, and an antique chest for a pedestal. He deploys his materials precisely, so that his finished figures, often animal-human hybrids with classical references, appear to be on the edges of physical and emotional cliffs, about to explode, fall apart, kill somebody, transfigure He’s showing five new sculptures. Paul the apostle, about to be beheaded?—is pure white, armless and legless, and blindfolded with only a drippy mess of a face. But he is frighteningly alive. This is Jeck’s magic, to draw breath from materials while allowing them to remain themselves. Jekyll is a bust. He emerges, pained, from craggy ceramic. Puberty is subtitled (After Munch); the Norwegian expressionist painted frightened-looking girls under that title. Jeck’s girl-woman, perched on a piece of furniture covered in the sort of flowery wallpaper found in a dollhouse, is a beast deserving of her punishment. It’s a monument to misogyny. “Liking” it isn’t part of the equation.

BOOKS

Oppression

by Boredom

What Are Economists For?

You

T he Seattle Economics Council’s lunchtime event at Town Hall last Thursday could not have been a more perfect picture

of the current state of economics. The speakers were Steve Keen and Gerard Fitzpatrick. Keen is from Australia; Fitzpatrick is from Ireland. Keen is an economics professor who is famous for, one, predicting the crash of 2008, and, two, attacking Paul Krugman’s solutions for getting out of the present Great Recession. Fitzpatrick is a bond fund manager for Russell Investments, a $150 billion company that moved to Seattle from Tacoma in 2009 and is currently the most recognizable occupant of the gorgeous splash of glass and steel that Washington Mutual built and owned until it filed for bankruptcy in 2008 and bled thousands of jobs out of our city’s financial district (the tower is now called the Chase Center).

Fitzgerald and Keen discussed the Federal Reserve’s monetary policy (giving lots of money to banks in the hopes they will give it to the rest of us—it’s called quantitative easing). What made this event such a perfect picture? You could see the difference between an actual economist and a finance manager. They are not the same animal. They speak completely different languages. They have different perspectives and goals. And yet, for the past 30 or so years, the American public has been tricked into believing they are the same thing.

This is what happened: Fitzpatrick explained why he has been able to make money for his clients during the recession and what his main concerns are for the future of making money for his clients. Fitzpatrick was eloquent, intelligent, and made great points about things to look out for in the money market, worry about in the bond market, and be happy about in the stock market.

Now, if you are the kind of human who is lucky enough to have extra dough lying around and want it to do something rather than just sitting there all day doing nothing, you need to talk to Fitzpatrick. But if you’re in a situation where “money is too tight to mention,” his expertise will be as useful to you as the pages of a book are to a dog. The person you need to listen to instead is Keen. Why? Because he is an economist.

Debunking Economics by Steve Keen (Zed Books, $34.95)

The substance of Keen’s profession is to provide everyone (investors, public officials, the public itself) with as complete an account as possible of the state of the economy. Fitzpatrick will show you what the Federal Reserve’s policy will mean for your investments; Keen will show you, among other things, how it will impact the employment rate. But here is the thing: In the mainstream, thinkers like Keen are often not considered to be economists and people like Fitzpatrick are, which is why an investment banker like John Paulson ended up doing something one would expect an economist to do—run the US Treasury.

But how did we get asset management and economics confused? The answer to that question is answered in Keen’s brilliant book Debunking Economics. First published in 2001 (long before the Great Recession), and extensively revised in 2011, DE attacks the source of the confusion, the reason why all economic discourse is now just about making money rather than public welfare. This discourse, called neoclassical economics, is the subject of DE. The book looks at its main theories, models, and assumptions, and dismantles them. The end of the book is like waking up from a dream and realizing that it was all a dream—but weirdly enough, you are still in this dream (neoclassical thinking

REVIEW

is currently in a state of denial about what happened in 2008, an event all of its impenetrable mathematics failed to predict). But the problem with DE is a problem that comes with the territory: Neoclassical economics is damn boring.

Keen even warns us how boring it is and recommends drinking lots of very strong coffee. “The foundations of conventional economics are not only difficult to grasp,” he warns, “but also profoundly boring. Economics should be exciting, stimulating intellectual challenge, but conventional economics goes almost out of its way to be mundane.”

How did investment banking become economics? By employing one of the most effective tools of oppression known to humans and all other animals that happen to be intelligent (crows, border collies, capuchins): boredom. No one with a lively disposition could get through the stuff: the charts, the models, the religious obsession with equilibrium, the dreadfully dense formulas of the rational individual who has nothing to do all day but figure out how to maximize every fucking penny. Because it is so boring, people believed it had to be true. But Keen exposes the major flaws buried at the bottom of this purposely boring thinking. I say purposely because if it were at all interesting, we would read and see that neoclassical concepts have nothing to do with economics and everything to do with class warfare.

And this is indeed Keen’s conclusion in the section “Why the Productivity of Capital Doesn’t Determine Profits,” which dissects one of the most boring neoclassical concepts, the factors of production: “The distribution of income is something which is determined not by market mechanism but by relative political power.” It took me two strong cups of coffee to get through that chapter.

BOOKS

becoming a sexually active adult. They’re always having conversations like this one, which begins on the way to meet Georgie’s new child:

“Babies are parasites.”

Nyla said, “We all start out as babies.”

“All parasites.” Dulcet pulled a lighter out of her bag. “I hope she doesn’t make me hold it. If I wanted to hold a baby, I wouldn’t have had that eighth-grade abortion.”

“Or sophomore year,” Nyla said.

“That one, too… Thank God—or Satan, or the Great Teutonic Dawn Goddess of Fertility or whatever—there’s a total surplus of babies. My baby making skills aren’t needed.”

This is not some Hollywood idealization of reproduction, in which healthy, clean 6-month-old babies are pulled by “doctors” from between the skinny thighs of actresses. The fertility in The Stud Book is lumpen and sopping with disgusting fluids, and it smells funny. These women are marked with fertility’s scars, both figurative and literal: When one of them strips off her clothes and looks down, she sees a “soft stomach and pale thighs” with “a red grin along the top of her pubic bone.” They understand that there’s nothing selfless about parenthood, that reproduction is about “the survival of biological offspring. The rest of the population is competition… the other humans, the ones who burned through fossil fuels, jammed the express lane at the grocery store, faked their way through the carpool lanes, and pissed in the communal well? They could screw themselves.”

WORLDPREMIERE

After the

Fucking’s Done

The Stud Book Is All About Making Babies

Sex in Monica Drake’s second novel, The Stud Book, is practically an afterthought, the Godot that influences the action with its nonattendance. People talk about it, and obsess over it, and even dedicate their lives to it, but sex doesn’t make much of an appearance. Instead, the circle of friends who make up The Stud Book’s cast live in the shadow of sex’s moreserious, less-understood sister, fertility. It’s a subtle distinction but an important one.

REVIEW

The Stud Book is a comedy of manners about a group of Portland women who don’t gossip about one-night stands over cosmos. Instead, they’re all interested, in one way or another, in the production and rearing of babies. Her heart broken after a string of miscarriages, Sarah works at the zoo, trying to understand why certain animals, in the refutation of one of life’s most primal urges, simply refuse to mate. Georgie is a new mother. Dulcet teaches sex education to kids by wearing a tight vinyl suit with realistic models of her internal organs affixed to the front. Nyla’s teenage daughter is on the cusp

The Stud Book is often funny and always stridently unsentimental; every turn of the page is accompanied by a hot gust of honesty to the face. And if the climax feels like an unsatisfying way to say good-bye to the selfish, witty, willful women we’ve fallen in love with along the way? Well. Reproduction, by definition, has never been great with endings.

THEATER

The King of Afropop

How Black Americans Made Fela Kuti a Black African

In a typical encounter between a black African and a black American, the black African knows more about the black American’s world than the black American knows about the black African’s. This has a lot to do with the fact that most Americans (white or black) know little about what happens outside of their country. But it’s also because the United States exports a massive amount of culture and imports very little. As a consequence, a person in, say, Singapore consumes his/ her local culture along with the culture that Americans consume almost exclusively. The US has become the universal—the rest, a puzzle of particulars.

June 2

When we talk about American cultural dominance, the discussion instinctively turns to brands like Nike, McDonald’s, and CocaCola, and the image industrial complex called Hollywood. But blacks in Africa and countries with large black populations cannot

The Stud Book by Monica Drake (Hogarth, $25)

imagine any discussion of American cultural dominance that fails to mention black American music, the music of the world. It is heard everywhere and imitated by everyone.

At this moment, the most famous pop star on earth is a Korean who raps (Psy). Also at this moment, the most famous Seattle musician is a white man who raps (Macklemore). And if you look at the top 10 grossing concert tours of all time, you will find that three were by a band that drew directly from the deep wells of black American blues and soul (the Rolling Stones) and two were by a woman who got her start singing bland black pop tunes (Madonna). The image of the world is a white face (Hollywood), but the voice of the world is black (Motown).

If the late Michael Jackson was the King of Pop, then the late Nigerian Fela Kuti was the King of Afropop. (Kuti died in 1997 from AIDS-related complications.) Short like James Baldwin, erotically sassy like Freddie Mercury, and musically brilliant like Charles Mingus, Kuti invented Afrobeat, essentially a response to the irresistible rhythms of black American funk. Kuti’s music was influenced by black Americans and so were his politics, a fact explored in the Broadway hit FELA! I have not seen FELA! live because it hadn’t opened by press time, but I watched several of its song/dance sequences on video, the most fascinating of which reimagines the moment Fela meets a black activist named Sandra Smith (she later changed her surname to Izsadore) at the Citadel d’Haiti, a Hollywood joint owned by Bernie Hamilton, who secured a permanent place in America’s memory by playing the black police captain in the 1970s TV show Starsky and Hutch Kuti, who was raised in Africa, educated in the UK, and living in the US illegally at the time (1969) with his band, regularly performed at the Citadel. “It was a crazy time,” he (played by Sahr Ngaujah) says in FELA! “It was a time you could walk into a club and meet someone who could turn your world upside down, like Sandra Izsadore.” When Izsadore saw him perform at the Citadel, she fell in love on the spot and immediately began transforming him from a pure hedonist into a political activist. This is the scene:

Kuti: Hey baby, let’s go to bed.

Izsadore: Hold on. You have a skewed sense of Marxist historical imperative.

Kuti: What?

Izsadore: Fela, it’s love and struggle, we have to be strong. Black power will make us strong.

Kuti: You black people in America, you act like this black power business draws inspiration from Africa.

Izsadore: Of course it does.

Kuti: In Lagos, we are even ashamed to

walk around in national dress.

Izsadore: We have to be willing to die for what we believe in. Fela! Listen to me! Even if your mommy and daddy can’t, let them go.

Kuti: Hey baby, enough politics.

Izsadore: Fela, you are not listening. You don’t understand. I grew up ashamed of my color. I was lost in the wilderness of North America with no knowledge, no pride.

Kuti: Why are you Americans so hung up on the color of skin. Africans are black and we don’t go beating ourselves up about it.

Izsadore: Because in Africa, everyone is black. And you have thrown off your white oppressors.

Kuti: Only to be replaced by a bunch of black crooks!

Izsadore: You ignorant African!

Kuti: You naive American!

Silence falls on the two for a moment, and then they burst into laughter to diffuse the tension. But there is so much in this exchange that can help us prepare for the full impact of FELA! when it arrives in Seattle. The first: Izsadore, as so many critics have pointed out, is one of the two important female influences in the show. (The other being Kuti’s mother, Funmilayo RansomeKuti, a teacher and political activist who was killed by Nigerian soldiers in 1977—she was thrown out of a window and eventually died from the injuries.) This is interesting because it places a strong feminist message in the middle of a story about a man who ran his huge band/community like a chief, a man who also famously married lord knows how many women (27? 30? 37?).

But the contradiction of a feminist theme in FELA! is not at all ridiculous. It reminds one that feminism is not a simple and direct discourse; it has many complications and unexpected sources. For example, it is often said that for many Muslim women in the United States and France, wearing a hijab, supposedly the very symbol of male oppression (women must cover their bodies, men do not), can represent a rejection of the values and standards of a society that goes on and on about women’s rights and yet economically exploits Arab and African countries for energy resources. Similarly, Fela’s marriage to a large group of women was a major middle finger to the tastes and aspirations of powerful black African Christians who exploited the poor of Lagos.

FELA! is directed by black American choreographer Bill T. Jones, which means it will be nearly impossible for it not to be a black American reading of a black African who, like so many black Africans of his time, was heavily influenced by one of the most dominant cultural forms in the world—black American popular music.

(5/29) Public Meetings on the EPA’s Lower Duwamish Waterway Cleanup Plan

(5/29) John Medina & William Bell Fostering Young Brains

UW Science Now: Makrand Sinha The Limits of Computers AND Jingda Wu Print Your Own Solar Cells Jaron Lanier Digital Technology Can Save Our Economy (and Humanity)

(6/1) Washington News Council Public Hearing

(6/1) Seattle Peace Chorus Canto General: Song of the People

(6/2) Seattle Jewish Chorale ‘From Strength to Strength’ (6/3) Dick Falkenbury ‘Rise Above It All’

(6/3) Seattle Cultural Community 2013 Mayoral Forum

(6/4) SPL & EBBC: Khaled Hosseini ‘And the Mountains Echoed’ (6/4) Shane Lopez The Life-Changing Power of Hope

(6/5) Suzy Becker w/ Jennifer Worick: From Fertility Treatments to a Family

AUGUST RUINS FOR SOLO CELLO CD Release Party

Paige Stockley - cello

STEVE JENSEN GALLERY

1424 Tenth Ave

(across from Neumos on Capitol Hill)

$10

Tickets at the door

Includes bar and snacks

Saturday, June 15

Doors at 7:30 pm

Performance at 8 pm

5/30 DOUBLE feature! Two for $5
CAROL ROSEGG
FELA! An American woman radicalizes an African man.

Ballard: 2232 NW Market St. U-District: 4530 University Way NE

#iFoundThisInThe206 Buff aloExchange.com buy.sell.trade

“Beach”

ART Museums

HENRY ART GALLERY

University of Washington MFA and M.Des Thesis Exhibition: Y’all know what it is already. Student work from artists surviving in the warrens of a giant research university. Small Change: A new project in the Test Site from MFA student Rebecca Chernow that experiments with “reciprocity, barter, debt, and the emergence of markets and related value systems through the creation and distribution of an invented currency.” And cigarette butts too, it seems. Through Jun 23. Out [o] Fashion Photography: Embracing Beauty extends New York scholar Deborah Willis’s journey to the heart of photography. This new exhibition, created in residence at the Henry and especially for the Seattle museum, looks at artistic and ethnographic photography—comparing the images collected by the Henry Art Gallery and the University of Washington Libraries, Special Collections. The result is a surprise bulldozing of the distinctions between high and low, ideal beauty and medical health, sex and sales. $10 suggested. Wed-Sun. Through Jul 7. 4100 15th Ave NE 543-2280.

NORTHWEST AFRICAN

AMERICAN MUSEUM

book of the bound is Carletta Carrington Wilson’s latest series of collages, which meld text and image to create narratives that touch on silence and language, on freedom and oppression. $6. Wed-Sun. Through Jul 28. 2300 S Massachusetts St 518-6000.

Gallery Openings

CORNISH ALUMNI

GALLERY

Make Out Tree: Eirik Johnson often photographs temporary structures built by humans and animals. Stacy Rozich often makes indescribable monster scenes on paper. What will be the result of the collaboration between this Neddy-Awardwinning pair? Free. Reception Mon June 3, 5-7 pm Mon-Sun. Through Aug 16. 1000 Lenora St, 3rd Fl, 726-5011.

G. GIBSON GALLERY

Undertow : New work from Julie Blackmon, who returns to Seattle with her immaculately composed photographs of domestic life undergirded by sexuality, violence, and chaotic potential. Insert gushing here. Free. Tues-Sat. Through Jul 13. 300 S Washington St , 587-4033.

JACK STRAW NEW

MEDIA GALLERY

Meadow Starts with ‘P’: I love you, but you’re too loud!: Meadow Starts With ‘P’ is a family and an art collaborative and a band of mad tinkerers that has constructed a machine that uses marbles to make a lot of semi-pleasing sounds. Free. Mon-Fri. Through Jul 12. 4261 Roosevelt Way NE , 634-0919.

MIA GALLERY

Bruce Clarke, Battlegrounds: Clarke paints the human body in order to liberate it. Free.

Reception Thurs May 30, 6-8 pm. Tues-Sat. Through Jun 29. 1203A 2nd Ave, 467-4927.

MOLLY’S SALADS

Music is My Life : Homeless youths imagine musical devices to help with the experience of homelessness. The devices are represented in drawings and stories. Free. Tues-Sun. Through Aug 29. 4099 15th Ave NE, 616-9816.

PHOTOGRAPHIC

CENTER NORTHWEST

New Work : New works by PCNW and Seattle University alumni. Free. Jun 3-Jul 15. 900 12th Ave 720-7222.

POTTERY NORTHWEST

Prospecting : Dane Youngren makes pre-abandoned objects of industrial decline. Free. Reception Sat June 1, 6-8 pm. Tues-Fri. Through Jun 28. 226 First Ave N, 285-4421.

Continuing Exhibitions

GREG KUCERA GALLERY

Sherry Markovitz: This artist has been living in Seattle and making art for decades, and at this very moment she’s up for a Stranger Genius Award. Free. Tues-Sat. Through Jun 29. 212 Third Ave S 624-0770.

SEASON AT PLATFORM

Peter Scherrer: see review, page 20. Wed-Sat. Through Jun 15. 114 Third Ave S, 323-2808.

SUYAMA SPACE

Damien Gilley: see review, page 20. Mon-Fri. Through Aug 19. 2324 Second Ave 256-0809.

TRAVER GALLERY

Doug Jeck and Ginny Ruffner: see review, page 20. Tues-Sat. Through Jun 2. 110 Union St #200, 587-6501.

Events

DEE-SHU-PALOOZA

Local artist and poster mogul

Darin Shuler is the subject of a night of festivities. Lots of work from the artist plus three bands that have commissioned him in the past. Columbia City Theater 4916 Rainier Ave S, 723-0088. www.darinshuler. com/. $10. Sat Jun 1, 8 pm. SUMMER ARTS FESTIVAL Inscape Arts adds Screenscape, a film and video component, to its Summer Arts Festival. Inscape, 815 Airport Way S. Free. Sun Jun 2, 12-6 pm. visualart@thestranger.com

READINGS

Wed 5/29

WHAT’S GOING ON

Nine poets were each assigned a song from Marvin Gaye’s album What’s Going On Tonight, they’ll perform new work in response to those songs. This is a neat idea for a reading. Scratch Deli, 1718 12th Ave, 269-2427. $5. 8 pm.

Thurs 5/30

ANCHEE MIN

Red Azalea was Min’s breakout memoir. It’s a book that is loved by many. Her followup memoir, The Cooked Seed has a steep hill to climb. It’s about her arrival in America and what happened after. Elliott Bay Book Company, 1521 10th Ave, 6246600. Free. 7 pm.

REBECCA HOOGS

Self-Storage is the first fulllength collection of poetry from Hoogs, which seems kind of crazy, because she’s been reading her very good poetry all around town forever. She’s joined by fellow poets Kevin Craft, Rachel Kessler, Sierra Nelson, and Jason Whitmarsh to celebrate her publication. Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030. Free. 7 pm.

JARON LANIER

See Stranger Suggests, page 19. Town Hall , 1119 Eighth Ave, 652-4255. $5. 7:30 pm.

Fri 5/31

BOOST: POETRY TO UPLIFT YOUR SPIRITS (A BENEFIT FOR TARA HARDY)

Beloved local author Tara Hardy is suffering from a medical condition that requires “a rigorous two-year treatment, the cost of which, not covered by health insurance is $18,000 per year.” So this fundraiser features local authors Cedar Adison Smith, Sara Brickman, Karen Finneyfrock, Dorothy Kent, Lisa Slater, and Casey Tonnelly, among others. If we had a single payer health plan in this country, we wouldn’t need to throw events like this. But we don’t, and so we do. Hugo House 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030. $15 advance, $20 door, $100 reserved seat. 7 pm.

INTERRUPTURE

PRESENTS: TROPE OPERA

The fabulous experimental poetry group presents Trope Opera, which they describe as “the days of our lives as the world turns, as rendered by interpretations of Freud, pop psychology, and the republic of dreams.” Sounds mimetic! Hedreen Gallery, Seattle

University, 901 12th Ave, 2962244. Free. 7:30 pm.

Sat 6/1

JAMES ARTHUR, NATALIE DIAZ, TOMAS Q. MORIN

Here’s the beginning of a poem by Arthur: “I was there, and saw the half-ton rope/of human hair coiled like a python,/glinting.” Diaz writes “Angels don’t come to the reservation./Bats, maybe, or owls, boxy mottled things./Coyotes, too. They all mean the same thing—/death.” And here’s Morín: “It shouldn’t have surprised me while reading /Gorky’s remembrance of Tolstoy and/devouring chicken/ on a blanket in view of the muddy waters/that I should see a parakeet misnamed/the Quaker parrot.” Open Books 2414 N 45th St, 633-0811. Free. 7:30 pm.

Mon 6/3

DICK FALKENBURY

Falkenbury is a former cab driver who wrote the initiative to create a monorail transit system in Seattle. Rise Above It All is his account of that process, which— spoiler alert—ultimately failed. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, 652-4255. $5. 6 pm.

CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE Aidichie is a celebrated novelist whose previous book, Half of a Yellow Sun, was praised by many. Her new novel is titled Americanah , and it’s already starting to get very good reviews. Elliott Bay Book Company , 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm.

Tues 6/4

DANIEL JAMES BROWN “In 1936, University of Washington’s eight-oar crew went to Berlin on a quest for Olympic gold,” press materials tell us. This is the story of Brown’s nonfiction book, The Boys in the Boat . This event will feature a multi-media presentation and descendants of the rowers who star in the book. University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 6:30 pm.

DAN KENNEDY Kennedy is the brilliant man behind storytelling sensation The Moth. American Spirit is his novel. Third Place Books, 17171 Bothell Way NE, 3663333. Free. 7 pm.

RUTH OZEKI, KAREN JOY FOWLER Ozeki’s newest book is A Tale for the Time Being and Fowler’s new book is titled We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves The writers are here to celebrate those books and the great local women’s writing program Hedgebrook. Seattle Public Library, 1000 Fourth Avenue, 386-4636. Free. 7 pm.

readings@thestranger.com

THEATER

Opening and Current Runs

BACH AT LEIPZIG Set in 18th-century Germany, Itamar Moses ( Outrage , Celebrity Row The Four of Us) composes a fictional story— structured like a fugue—about J.S. Bach vying against German organists who play dirty as they all reach for the position as prime organist and musical director. Taproot Theater, 204 N 85th St, 781.9707. $20-$40. WedThurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through June 15.

FELA!

See preview, page 23. Paramount Theater 911 Pine St, www.stgpresents.org. $20-$85. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 1 and 6:30 pm. Through June 2.

HOMEBODY Mary Ewald, directed by John Kazanjian, performs Tony Kushner’s one-person play, a selective history of Afghanistan mixed with stories from the character’s life. New City Theater 1404 18th Ave, www.newcitytheater.org. $15-$20. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 22.

THE LANGUAGE ARCHIVE Twin stories by Julia Cho about love and language, in which a linguist can’t talk his way out of divorce and an indigenous tongue is threatened with extinction due to a lover’s spat. Directed by

Seattle Public Theater 7312 W Green

Dr N, www.seattlepublictheater.org. $10-$29. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 9. MURDER ABBEY Upright Citizens Brigade comedian Kate Hess parodies the BBC’s Downton Abbey entirely on her own and with period costumes. The Daily Beast calls it one of the “six best Downton Abbey spoofs.” Annex Theater, 1100 E Pike St, www.annex-

scripts are brought to life by director Tim Moore and an ensemble cast in a boozy, cheerful atmosphere. This round features the episodes “I Shot an Arrow into the Air,” “It’s a Good Life,” and “The Night of the Meek.” Theater Schmeater , 1500 Summit Ave, www.brownpapertickets. com. $18-$23. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 15. THE VAUDEVILLIANS WITH JINKX MONSOON: THE BIG SEATTLE SENDOFF SHOW! Jinkx Monsoon (winner of Ru Paul’s Drag Race: Season 5) and Major Scales perform as Kitty Witless and Dr. Dan von Dandy. The two 1920s burlesque stars were trapped in Antarctica, thaw, and discover their original songs have been misused and passed off by others. Cornish Playhouse at Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St, www.brownpapertickets. com. $10-$25. Sun June 2 at 7:30 and 9:30 pm.

Dance

DIRECTOR’S CHOICE A tribute to George Balanchine curated by artistic director Peter Boal, this triple bill features a world premiere from Christopher Wheeldon, the return of Agon (a 1957 avant-garde ballet by “Mr. B,” now staged by Francia Russell), and the last third of Balanchine’s Jewels series, entitled Diamonds McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St, 441-2424. $28-$173. Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 9.

Special Events

DRAW BLOOD A mystery dinner-theater fundraiser for Strawberry Theater Workshop. Rainier Chapter House, 800 E Roy St. strawshop.org. $75. Sun June 2 at 6 pm.

theater@thestranger.com

WORN OUT

THE DARK ROMANCE OF STONE CROW DESIGNS

Stone Crow designer Jenn Charkow’s garments impart the ragged majesty that accompanies experiences of personal anxiety. “It’s mostly about that moment when you’re finally able to put yourself together after having some manic breakdown,” Jenn says, describing a deep-wilderness fashion photography series with models in voluminous gowns. A woman has come to the woods to empty her mind, and the scenes she inhabits recall certain folklores— the ones with the beautiful lady-ghosts who’re really into singing lullabies and vanishing into thick shadows, or just hanging out and mourning. “There’s something so appealing about the dark romance, and

this whole intense longing, and of being tucked away somewhere,” Jenn says.

To bind us to the drama of her characters, Jenn uses yards upon yards of fabric—the better to swirl about constantly, in wind and water. “It’s an actual parachute. I got it at an army surplus store,” she says, describing a suspendered gown of emerald-green nylon, with heavy-duty triple-stitch enforcements, utility suspension seams, and cinches to bring hem-length adjustments “for easier wearability.” Another ensemble pairs a goat-leather capelet and a skirt shaped from mounds of tulle. Though the fabric has been draped, folded, and piled on top of itself, one can still make out the pretty shape of the wearer’s body beneath. “It’s my mini-ode to Alexander McQueen,” Jenn says, but she’s not referencing any of his specific works. (As it happens, McQueen also developed a tulle and leather gown for stylist Isabella Blow, though his version is considerably more traumatic. It features a rip, deliberately left unmended, to showcase the stab wound that killed the animal.)

For her twin series, Jenn created a pair of dresses, fit them to a pair of models, and collaborated with Amanda Paredes of Swae Photography. “It was a hard shoot. We were outside, in a carport, because we wanted a weird, pale light for kind of a creepy vibe,” Jenn says. To heighten the sense of unreality, the models wear glossy black gloves applied by dunking hands into buckets of liquid latex—a finicky material, more common in fetish-wear. “We were supposed to set it with powder first, but we didn’t know that. So after the shoot, when we tried to peel the gloves away, the rubber got all stuck in the women’s arm hair.”

AMANDA PAREDES SWAE PHOTOGRAPHY

CHOW

Twin Peaks and Cherry Pie

A Sad Visit to a Place That Didn’t Exist

There’s always a flatbed truck loaded with huge logs driving past the Double-R Diner. Inside, the uncannily beautiful waitresses wear uniforms that are the blue of the sky

somewhere besides this place, where the world is always cloaked in diffuse gray. The uniforms are white-trimmed, stylized, a signal from an iconographic American past where you’d be called “hon,” and your coffee would never be empty; likewise the oldfashioned jukebox, which would only ever whir to life to play a torch song or a crooner or something to set the toes of saddle shoes tapping.

The man sitting at the counter—there is a horseshoe-shaped counter, with swiveling stools rooted to the floor, because there must be—the man sitting at the counter in the background works at the sawmill, and he’s wearing his absurd silver hard hat while he eats his breakfast. The message, if you care to see: You never know when something terrible will come down upon your head. The boy-man who comes in to flirt in an almost sinister way with the waitresses, the one with the fast car and the leather jacket: He’s both the football jock and the angry rebel, and his electric energy makes the jukebox light up almost of its own accord. “I’ll see you in my dreams,” he says as he departs, a threat as much as a promise. “Not if I see you first,” the older, wiser waitress replies.

The Double-R Diner is in the town of Twin Peaks, located five miles south of the Canadian border, 12 miles west of the state line, in the imagination of David Lynch. “Diane,” says Special Agent Dale Cooper of the Federal Bureau of Investigation into his bulky handheld tape recorder on the way into town for the first time, addressing his never-to-beseen secretary; he tells her about the cherry pie he had at the Lamplighter Inn, giving the

price for his expense report, and wonders at the trees. “I’ve never seen so many trees in my life. As W. C. Fields would say, I’d rather be here than Philadelphia.”

Twin Peaks is, as you must know, David Lynch’s 1990–91 television series exploring the realms of good and evil, in and far beyond its titular small town, filmed here in the Pacific Northwest. Its darkness, weirdness, sense of humor, and endless foreboding pretty much exploded TV sets across the country; if you think the renaissance of television began on HBO, you have never seen Twin Peaks. The town of Twin Peaks is, as all things Hollywood are, a falsity. The real-life diner is in North Bend, while the Great Northern Hotel with its inevitable waterfall is some miles away, at Snoqualmie Falls. The naked, plastic-wrapped dead body of Laura Palmer, homecoming queen and so much more, is found washed up by a huge driftwood log at a location that Twin Peaks fans know is Kiana Lodge, way over on the Kitsap Peninsula (Great Northern interiors were also filmed there). Her blue-gray skin looks almost opalescent; her face is flecked with mica.

The cafe was set on fire in the middle of a quiet North Bend night.

unremittingly square and profoundly odd by handsomely dark-haired Kyle MacLachlan—wonders at the old-fashioned, pure goodness of the place. It moves him to swear, in the squarest, most gentlemanly way: “You know, this is—excuse me—a damn fine cup of coffee.” The pie served there becomes emblematic of the unassailable, the heavenly, the world as it should (but never will) be.

Kyle MacLachlan visits Seattle this week. As part of the Seattle International Film Festival, he’ll be interviewed onstage before a screening of the Twin Peaks pilot on June 3 (which, in addition to a pricey reception at posh Mistral, is sold out). In his honor, I went to North Bend to drink coffee and eat pie.

It’s not really the number of trees around here—lots of places have so many trees—but how densely and darkly firred the forests are. These aren’t the frivolous trees of elsewhere, waving their branches and shimmying pretty leaves; our Douglas firs are serious, possessed of both beauty and the ominous, as nature should be. Go to witness it anew, and this will strike you, as it did Special Agent Cooper (and, clearly, David Lynch). Take the Fall City exit on Interstate 90 and keep going east, to Snoqualmie Falls and onward to North Bend, and you will see the same trees from the show, 20 years bigger, and the same curves of the road.

What is not the same is the Double-R Diner. Of course, it never was the Double-R Diner at all; when Twin Peaks was filmed, it was called the Mar-T Cafe, and the illuminated sign had a cursive red neon “RR” added to it. Then the cafe was sold and became Twede’s, which, in a Twin Peaks–worthy plot development, was set on fire in the middle of a quiet North Bend night. A burglar or burglars broke in and made off with $450, according to a 2000 Seattle Times article on the wall back by the bathrooms; the arson was perhaps meant to cover up the crime.

some pilled fabric conference-room chairs, registers as a little sad. A few large, dusty plush toy Tweety Birds hang here and there (because of the name Twede’s, apparently). The counter is smaller and farther back and taller, and no one sits there. On top of it is a hodgepodge, including postcards and a Plexiglas display of “Fun Books” for sale. The only visible title is The Holy Bible

There’s one old photo that David Lynch would like, of the exterior of the place at the very beginning, when it was Thompson’s Cafe, with a line of 1940s trucks passing by carrying sections of a log that is truly immense—a giant of the forest, felled and sectioned and carried off to its American uses and abuses. He might also like the model trains, not bidding for much attention on high shelves.

Neither David Lynch nor Special Agent Cooper would like the pie at Twede’s Cafe, for it is abysmal. “This must be where pies go when they die”—Coop’s line in Twin Peaks was meant in a good way, but this pie is on the verge of expiration. The crust is dry where it should be moist, compressed where it should be light, mealy where it should be flaky. The cherry filling is a lurid, unnatural red; it looks like artificial cherry flavor tastes, and the taste itself is overpowered by the gelatinous texture. The apple pie seems a little better, by dint of not trying so hard, but still: gelatinous, and then there are a couple bites that have small, unidentifiable fibrous bits in them.

The real-life Twin Peaks diner was the site of pilgrimages in the 1990s, with tour buses and festivals and much picture-taking. In the series, Special Agent Cooper—played as both

The old jukebox, the wood-paneled walls, and the mustard Formica counter with its red and silver stools are all gone. The remodel is already showing its age: The dropped acousticpanel ceiling is stained, the black-and-white checkered floor scuffed. The replacement booths are upholstered in a dark, sparkly blue, in a sort of neo-1950s gesture that, alongside

The coffee is very hot, as coffee should be. But it comes in a mug that depressingly reads “Home of Twin Peaks Cherry Pie and ‘A Damn Fine Cup of Coffee,’” which it is not. The mug, the spoon, the place, all have a little bit of a film on them. And the service, which is otherwise exactly diner-fine—gravelly voiced and not at all unkind—falls down in the one key area: The coffee is never refilled. Hardly anyone else is there, and it’s dinnertime. It feels like a place that is slipping away, which is sad, even though the original is long gone anyway. Back outside, there are a couple of Twin Peaks–themed murals, and the sign still looks both right and wrong, and in the distance, there are the trees.

ON LOCATION That gum you like is going to come back in style.
THE STRANGER

NOW CLOSED

Recent Restaurant RIPs

• LUCKY 8’S • Capitol Hill: This Americanized Chinese place near Skillet/Zoe/Oola/ Marjorie opened on New Year’s Day 2012, and while the space looked nice with its lanterns and number 8s, the food got reviews like “merely passable.” Unsurprisingly, the owners told Capitol Hill Seattle that they “just were not getting enough business.”

• THE VIKING • Ballard: The tiny, beautifully old-school Viking tavern—a Ballard classic that had sold beer, barbecue, and fresh eggs by the dozen since 1950—has departed to make way for a condo development called the Ballard Lofts. SAD. Slog commenter Baby Blue offers this cryptic eulogy: “RIP Viking. My thumb will never be the same.”

• NOOK • U-District: Beloved little Nook— with its adorable owl mascot and lines out the door for great biscuits—has closed. The Nookies’ message to all who loved them: “We appreciated your encouragement more than you know and really can’t express how thankful we are for your support.” And, despite a petition on Change.org urging them to do so, they’re not reopening: Former spacemates Sound Coffee have already taken over.

• THE BROADWAY GRILL • Capitol Hill: As The Stranger’s Dominic Holden eulogized on Slog: “The Broadway Grill—later renamed the Grill on Broadway—was a shamelessly proud anchor for Seattle’s gay culture in the 1990s… when gay people needed a safe place for a date, when flamin’ waiters needed a place to be flamin’, and when drunk homos needed eggs at 2 a.m.

Thanks for all the super fun, super faggy times, Broadway Grill.”

• MONA’S • Green Lake: After 101 years, the restaurant/lounge/jazz venue has closed. The lease has been taken over by the owner of Krittika’s Thai next door, according to Eater Seattle.

• FIRST HILL BAR AND GRILL • First Hill: The classic Greek-American joint at Ninth and Madison that Stranger writer Marti Jonjak called “a deeply charming dive” is no more. Silver lining: It’s being replaced by Lotus Asian Kitchen and Lounge, a new restaurant from Ridgley Kuang, owner of Green Leaf in the ID and Belltown.

• ALKI TAVERN • West Seattle: After a last meal of St. Paddy’s Day corned beef and cabbage, and an auction to offload several decades’ worth of mirrors, beer signs, and other bar memorabilia, Seattle bid farewell to this great, divey institution. Owner Gill McLynne told the West Seattle Herald: “I’ve had a good time down here, but after 38 years, I’m going fishing.”

• BUS STOP • Capitol Hill: Co-owner Rodney wrote: “After eight amazing years, Gary and I have made the difficult decision that it’s time to move on. Being part of your lives and this neighborhood has been one of the best experiences of my life. You are my friends and my family. OK. Enough with the Oprah shit. We have until the end of the month to make this the awesomest party ever.” And it was awesome.

• NERVOUS NELLIE’S COFFEE AND TOAST • Ballard: In what My Ballard reader Amy called “super super super sad news,” this coffee shop is no more. Hopefully Nellie can relax now?

• ZAINA • Pioneer Square: Zaina has closed at First and Cherry, but promises a new

A BRIEF HISTORY OF SIAM

It’s all a bit of a blur now, but Siam Thai Cuisine was initially Siam on Broadway, an affordable but really good small restaurant that had a huge fish tank and an open kitchen next to the entrance. Some years passed, and the owners of Siam on Broadway opened a second restaurant in a huge heap of a building in Eastlake—remarkable only for the inclusion of a train car in the structure—called Siam on Lake Union. The restaurant had an even larger fish tank and what looked like all of the room in the world. While sitting in the east section of the main dining area, you could see some old, rusting ships that hadn’t braved the waves in eons and a bike/pedestrian path. The path led to a quiet community of floating homes and a small park, Terry Pettus Park, that’s frequented by ducks, drunks, lovers, and raccoons

Some years ago, Siam on Broadway closed for reasons that are unknown to me (it seemed to be doing just fine). And not too long ago, Siam on Lake Union moved up the road to a brand-new building on Eastlake Avenue and changed its name to Siam on Eastlake. (At some point, Siam Bothell also came into being. Who knew?)

During these changes of names and locations, however, Siam’s food has remained the same. The spicy and cucumber-rich beef salad (one of my favorites dishes in the Thai repertoire) I had many years ago at Siam on Broadway, and a few years ago at Siam on Lake Union, was identical to the one I had this week at Siam on Eastlake. This was also true of the beef and broccoli dish—both were ordered from the happyhour menu at $7 apiece and came with a bowl of brown rice. I also drank one glass of red wine, a glass of white wine, and a vodka-something-or-other. All of this drinking and eating was enjoyed in the bar area, which has suspended light fixtures that bear a resemblance to UFOs.

Though I recognized some of the people from the old days (the days when I was a poor student, and so happy to have access to decent grub and booze at a reasonable price), the person who got my attention was the bartender: a youngish and cheerful-looking man. The day I happened to visit Siam was also his last day of working there. He was moving to Thailand. He was moving because of a woman. He was going to live happily ever after with her. While drinking, I couldn’t stop dreaming of the bartender’s next world—the new smells, sounds, laws, languages. I saw him eating a meal in the heat, saw him drinking a cold beer in the moonlight. And the more I drank, the easier it was to picture his happy life in that faraway land.

Comment on Drinkimg with Charlse Mudede at

WITH CHARLSE MUDEDE BY CHARLES MUDEDE

iteration on Lake City Way in the former iBurger and Shake location. The Zaina on First and Pine is still open for your falafel needs.

• EL PILON • Columbia City: This nice Puerto Rican hole-in-the-wall has retired its bright-red sparkly booths and closed up shop. The good news: Owner Marta Vega is still doing catering.

• JOKO’S INDONESIAN KITCHEN • Roosevelt: As Slog commenters lamented in English and Malay, Indonesian eatery Joko’s (formerly known as Julia’s) is being bulldozed to make way for new construction.

• MAE’S PHINNEY RIDGE CAFE • Phinney Ridge: Described by Lindy West as a “knickknack-encrusted labyrinth,” the breakfast-and-brunch institution with the cow-themed interior and Shake and Eggs special has closed so that Jeanne Mae Barwick, its owner of 25 years, can enjoy “a little less stressful lifestyle,” as she told KOMO.

• CALVA CAFE • Queen Anne: The popular, mostly take-out Chinese/sushi place with the friendly owners has closed due to untenable rent increases, according to Queen Anne View. Booooo.

• IBURGER AND SHAKE • Maple Leaf: After a three-year run, this small, reportedly inconsistent burger joint with the iRritating name has closed. It will now become a branch of Zaina.

• BABALU • Wallingford: Babalu, aka the Mambo Room, is closed, but as of this writing, its seizure-inducing website still touts its “East Coast savvy,” “soft mandarin orange light,” “chocolate leather walls,” and “chic mirrored ball.”

• CHOCOLATE SHOE BOX • Greenwood:

Chocolate Shoe Box, “Seattle’s first and only all-vegan shoe and chocolate boutique,” has closed, leaving vegans bereft of one-stop shopping for Chocolate Covered Cocomels and ethical stilettos.

• KAWALI GRILL • Columbia City: The reportedly inconsistent Filipino diner Kawali Grill is no more, but it has already become Kawayan Grill, offering “authentic Filipino-American dishes just like how grandma used to make it” (so maybe better, depending on whose grandma they’re talking about).

• BASKIN-ROBBINS • Green Lake: With an apology from a spokeswoman for “any inconvenience this closing may have caused to our loyal guests,” the Green Lake BaskinRobbins is gone after a tenure of more than 30 years, due to rising rents. Sigh.

• PNK ULTRA LOUNGE • Downtown: “It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later” for this club that was strangely located on the top floor of the Pacific Place mall—it’s supposedly moving to a new location, but there’s been no word since January.

• THOMAS STREET BISTRO • Capitol Hill:

Tiny Thomas Street Bistro was loved and hated, but mostly hated—check out the Stranger reader-reviews online—and it lasted a surprisingly long time. Eventually, Groupon cut the restaurant off because of “customer complaints.” Quebec-style Resto has since been installed in the space.

• TERRACE GARDEN • Downtown: The restaurant five stories up at the Red Lion Hotel with the capacious patio has already morphed into the ridiculously named Frolik Kitchen + Cocktails. The froli[c]king includes shuffleboard, ping-pong, Astroturf, and fire.

CHOW BIO

BEER AND BICYCLES

Weekly Specials

Sunday: Live Music  Monday: All day happy hour Tuesday: Tini Tuesday

Wednesday: Select Wines 1/2 off Thursday: Ladies Night 1/2 off cocktails

Open: 4pm-12am Sunday-Thursday 4pm-2am Friday-Saturday located in the MarQueen Hotel at 600 Queen Anne Ave N. www.marqueen.com/lounge/the-tin-lizzie-lounge

Dave Keller and Haley Woods Owners, Peddler Brewing Company 1514 NW Leary Way, 360-362-0002

I would bathe in caramel if I could, ideally while having a beer. The closest I have come to realizing this dream is drinking Peddler Brewing Company’s caramel ESB. It was served on a wooden sampler tray of eight tiny beers that made me feel like I was at an elf party. The bicycle-themed bar and brewery opened recently in a voluminous Ballard warehouse that has been aptly compared to a Viking hall. Co-owner (and engineer) Dave Keller designed the attractive indoor bike rack made from metal pipes, the bathroom sink has brake levers as faucet handles, and the cement bar is inlaid with bike parts. The bar will soon offer tools patrons can check out to fix up their bikes while drinking, and basic bike accoutrements like tubes and patch kits will be for sale.

Dave began brewing his own beer in college simply because it was cheaper than store-bought beer. Both avid cyclists, Dave and co-owner Haley Woods were excited to combine their hobbies at Peddler. The city has plans to install a “bike corral” outside to provide more parking. As I was leaving, it became clear why this is necessary—a raucous group of 80 members of the Washington Beer Lovers club arrived wearing necklaces of pretzels and quickly took every bike parking space available. SARAH GALVIN

MUSIC

35 Years in a Void

PiL’s Post-Punk Classic First Issue Finally Hits America

M y theory goes: God—if she exists—hates Public Image Limited’s First Issue. It’s almost as if there’s a conspiracy to keep its treasures from being better known in the US.

Originally released in 1978 in the UK by Virgin Records, First Issue stabbed the public ear with a new kind of venomous rock. Shrugging off the punk shackles of the Sex Pistols, Johnny Rotten morphed into John Lydon and decided to forge a more unconventional strain of music. He insisted that Public Image Limited (PiL henceforth) were not a band, but a communications company that would branch out into film and other modes of expression and subversion.

First Issue wasn’t PiL’s most radical break from rock orthodoxy; that would come with 1979’s Metal Box (aka Second Edition) and 1981’s The Flowers of Romance. But with their debut, Lydon, bassist Jah Wobble, drummer Jim Walker, and guitarist Keith Levene established themselves as one of the most distinctive and incisive forces in the burgeoning post-punk movement.

“Theme” immediately plunges you into a maddening miasma of dirgey dub, with Lydon in agony-whine mode (“I wish I could die!”)—for nine minutes. Take that, punk! Levene’s guitar scribbles way outside the rock lines with metallic aerosol causticity, and Wobble’s bass loiters with malicious intent. “Religion I” finds Lydon eviscerating the titular subject’s hypocrisy a cappella. When I heard it as an 18-year-old, it thrilled the hell out of me, and I memorized the entire (admittedly heavy-handed) screed. The rancorously monotonous “Religion II” adds sonic insult to lyrical injury. “Annalisa” weirdly high-steps into action with what sounds like a 9/8 time signature, while Levene and Wobble exchange guitar and bass riffs like jujitsu masters.

according to Pat Thomas, who coproduced Light in the Attic’s reissue with Matt Sullivan (out June 18). That, says Thomas, “coupled with the fact that Lydon and company always look forward and never backward,” kept First Issue out of circulation here.

Thomas had dealt with Lydon while working as an A&R man with 4 Men with Beards Records to rerelease Metal Box in its original steel-film-canister format. Even with that relationship established, it took Thomas and LITA more than two years to convince PiL and Lydon’s manager Rambo Stevens to, in Thomas’s words, “hit the ‘rewind’ button.” Their diligence paid off with a deluxe package of First Issue that includes a bonus CD containing “The Cowboy Song,” the long-lost B-side to PiL’s debut single, “Public Image,” and a nearly hour-long 1978 BBC interview with Lydon. The double-vinyl version will include a foldout poster and replica memorabilia excavated from PiL fan Scotty Murphy’s archive.

To commemorate this momentous development, I hoped to interview PiL members Jah Wobble and Keith Levene (Lydon isn’t doing press). Wobble never responded, but Levene quickly consented. He was in London, and our transatlantic connection was awful and his accent thick; Keith’s voice sounded like it was coming from inside a ring-modulated toilet and then run through a flanger—one of the guitarist’s favorite effects. He also seemed a bit scatterbrained. Further, my ancient analog tape recorder was going through its death throes. Still, about 20 percent of the interview was audible. I asked Levene to reveal the biggest misconception about PiL’s early, best era. “That we were trying to have a joke with everyone. We were really serious about our music.”

Even though Levene didn’t find out about the reappearance of First Issue until recently, and then via Twitter, he’s very “pleased it’s being rereleased. I think the album still sounds good. Who knows what could happen, but I don’t expect too much from this reissue.”

• A man dressed as a giraffe, allegedly high on some kind of something, got stuck in a tree near the Sasquatch! campgrounds, and the fire department had to help him down.

• Rumor has it the drummer of Portland band Red Fang had a little too much firstday-of-Sasquatch! fun and threw up on the stage during their 5 p.m. set on Friday.

• Odd Future’s Earl Sweatshirt came onstage for his Sunday evening Sasquatch! set and said, “What’s up, Coachella?” Which may or may not have been on purpose, considering his pre-Sasquatch! tweeting about his horrible flight into Washington.

• Though icky Native American headdresses could still be spotted from time to time, the fashion trends at Sasquatch! 2013 included flower crowns, pajama-like animal onesies, galaxy leggings, blow-up sidekicks (alligators, dinosaurs, a giant cucumber), and body paint over gnarly sunburns.

• The expenses of Sasquatch!: A tall can of Bud Light could be purchased for $11, a boat of tater nachos could be enjoyed for $7, and the internet was for sale in hourly increments for $5.

“Public Image” is simply one of the greatest songs ever, an antianthem so rousing, it realigns the premise of anthems. At the time of its creation, Lydon was one of the most notorious humans on earth; this was his way of venting the pressure and moving on from the toxic residue of Malcolm McLaren’s Pistolian scheme/scam. Levene’s guitar tone launched a hundred imitators with its wired alienation, prickling panic, and acrid animosity. “I call [my guitar sound] the Cold Shower Club,” Levene told Simon Reynolds in a 2002 interview in the Wire. “It’s so clean, so tingly. It could be really thin glass penetrating you, but you don’t know until you start bleeding internally.”

How does Levene rate First Issue among the three PiL albums on which he played? “First Issue has elements of Metal Box; they’re part of the same thing. Maybe we should release all of the outtakes from the first three LPs.” Um, yes!

• At this year’s Sasquatch!, rap ruled and indie rock drooled, with awesome performances by Danny Brown, Tilson XOXO, and Nacho Picasso, to name a few. On Sunday, Killer Mike’s genuine and hardhitting set was a surprise favorite, and probably the best thing we saw. Besides Primus 3-D*.

“Public Image” is simply one of the greatest songs ever, an antianthem so rousing‚ it realigns the premise of anthems.

First Issue concludes with “Fodderstompf,” one of history’s most sarcastic songs, a sloppy disco jam that jabs at typical pop-song sentiments and is perfunctorily extended to fill out the minimum LP duration dictated by PiL’s contract. Funnily enough, this aural middle finger possesses an odd sort of durability and infectiousness; plus, Wobble’s supple and heavy bass line just slays.

Overall, First Issue was a baffling and brilliant counterpunch at punk fans’ expectations. Still, the album carried enough residual, skew(er)ed post-punk motion to keep it classified within the rock realm—unlike Metal Box and The Flowers of Romance

But PiL’s US label, Warner Bros., felt that the record wasn’t commercial enough,

Toward the end of the Q&A, things took a sad turn, especially when the conversation touched on Levene’s current relationship with Lydon. “I haven’t said word one to him since 1983. I tried to contact him three times in LA pretty soon after I left PiL. It’s not like he’s tried to contact me, either. I don’t give a fuck. I’m just saying it so everyone knows who’s interested—he never tried to contact me for any PiL reformations. It wasn’t like I was being difficult and saying no. Which I would’ve done, but I was never asked.”

Actually, the saddest part came after an innocuous query about Levene’s current home.

“I’m sort of based in Florida. I’m all over the place. But mostly in Florida. I don’t know why. I’m everywhere at once at the moment. No, really, it’s weird, it’s really what’s going on. It’s all laptops and studios and that kind of stuff.” Oh, dear.

At the end of our talk, Levene insisted that I tell readers to look out for his new album (Search4AbsoluteZero) and book (Diary of a Non-Punk Rocker), both of which you can learn more about at keithlevene.com. Anything for the guitar innovator who helped to make First Issue a post-punk revelation.

Comment on this story at THESTRANGER.COM/MUSIC

• Mysterious stage-tech difficulties caused Tame Impala’s Saturday-night set to be postponed for more than an hour and switched to a different stage. During the awkward gap, it felt as though the milling crowd might start eating each other in desperation.

• During Mike Birbiglia’s Monday set, the comedian counted out loud all the black people he could see. He asked the security guy how it felt to be the only black guy here, then looked out and said, “Oh, there’s another guy!” Someone hollered from the back, and he said, “So, two, no three— three needles in this big white haystack. Welcome!”

• A woman sitting on someone’s shoulders in the crowd during the Cake set on Monday got on the giant Jumbotron screen and immediately/exuberantly flashed the camera, then did it again five minutes later.

• Tallest Man on Earth closed his set with a cover of “Graceland,” besting Vampire Weekend’s wannabe Paul Simon with actual Paul Simon.

• New York rapper Azealia Banks’s Monday appearance was canceled—a total bummer because her set would’ve been rad, but also because there were, like, three women performing at Sasquatch! this year.

*No one from The Stranger

PUBLIC IMAGE LIMITED The most put-together John Lyndon you’ll ever see.
Sasquatch!
2013 BY EMILY NOKES

WED/MAY 29 • 7:30PM & 9:30PM sara

THU/MAY

SIFF ‘FACE

AND HOTHOUSE

patterson and david hood w/ jeff fielder and friends FRI/MAY 31 • 8PM bonzo’s celebration day nw drummers play tribute to john henry bonham

SAT/JUNE 1 • 7:30PM sinatra at the sands

SUN/JUNE 2 • 7:30PM coyote grace

MON/JUNE 3 • 8PM mice parade w/ ghost of kyle bradford

WED/JUNE 5 • 7:30PM andré mehmari

WEDNESDAY

& daniel blue (6/21) • 6/22 grant lee phillips w/ gerald collier • 6/23 bernhoft • 6/24 movie mondays - hype!

THURSDAY 5/30

CHASTITY

FRIDAY 5/31

A Gunk-Rock Odyssey

Talking Trash with Ricky Ticky Router Table of the Trashies

ONOREY • LADY GRACE • KARA HESSE

8PM • $6

MONDAY 6/3 SAM AMIDON

ALESSI’S ARK • HILLTALKS

8PM • $6

TUESDAY 6/4

8PM • $6

5.30 Thursday (World/Reggae)

Culture Yard presents: TAINA ASILI y la Banda Rebelde

Unite-One, Comfort Food 9PM Doors, $7adv / $10 dos, 21+

5.31 Friday (Bhangra / DJ / Dance) JAI HO! Bhangra Dance Party

Hosted by DJ Prashant ft. DJs Ambush & RDX

first

6.1 Saturday (Reggae) CLINTON FEARON & The Boogie Brown Band Selecta Raiford

$12 adv / $15 dos, 8pm, 21+

6.4 Tuesday SCANDALS

The Imperials, Your City Sleeps

$5 adv / $7 dos, 8pm, 21+

6.5 Wednesday

LUCY HORTON BAND

Siv & Maddie, San

nce upon a time, three dudes from a small paper-milling (i.e., foul-smelling) town in Washington called Longview/Kelso (okay, technically two towns, but there’s no real separation) met a kindred spirit from San Diego. “Kindred” might actually be the wrong word to use; how about “garbage” instead? Four garbage spirits, united in their disregard for cleanliness, giving a shit, and the daily grind, set out on a gunk-rock odyssey that has persevered, on and off, since 2004.

The Trashies, as they came to be known—their personas are Ron Wolfman on guitar, Ricky Ticky Router Table on drums, Jesse-Cody Trashington on keyboard, and Billy Goat on bass—started by way of a jam session in the rotting basement of the now-defunct 24/7 Haus, a punk house/venue in Seattle’s Central District. (Disclosure time: I once lived in this house, and I know these trash men personally. But fear not! I’m 98 percent certain I would still be writing this!) Their first jam session produced a song called “Taz Tattoo” (You got a Taz tattoo, what the fuck you gonna do?), followed by “Chicken Sandwich” (Hold the lettuce, hold the tomato, don’t forget the extra mayo/get daddy a chicken sandwich), and “Nude Beach” (I looked through binoculars/a total failure/maybe next sum-

mer?), and the imbecilic, avant-savant punk tone was set. “‘Nude Beach’—that let me know that we were a real band—that’s when I knew we needed to pursue this,” Ricky says, during a near-incoherent interview at the Elysian Brewery. Besides the hilarity of the Trashies concept—satirical rejection/ celebration of small-town, white-trash backwardness—the songs themselves are really catchy, and the lyrics are so stupid they’re smart. Kind of.

But no one can deny that the live shows are legendary. Wearing cutoff shorts and little else (though acceptable outfits might include American flag and NASCAR imagery, or one of the band’s own handmade tie-dye disasters), they play amid beer and Sparks (RIP) cans sailing to and from the stage, spit, blood, and sweaty grime—the Trashies can turn any venue into a bruise-y mud pit. Eventually, they took the show on the road. “On our first tour, we had no idea that you were supposed to get paid for shows and sell merch,” Ricky remembers. “We left Seattle with absolutely nothing to sell or give away.”

Four self-recorded albums (Let It Be Trashed, Life Sucks Trash Fuck, What

Makes a Man Get Trashed?, and Space Jam), a handful of singles and EPs, and a two-year-ish hiatus later, the Trashies still record and tour semiannually, despite the fact that Jesse-Cody now lives in Oakland. But no matter what, they haven’t lost the gunk that held them together in the first place, and their newest album, Teenage Rattlesnakes (1-2-3-4 Go! Records), is a testament to that. Rough, ridiculous, and created in fits and starts over the course of a year (though the total time for writing and practicing took more like 48 hours), it’s everything a Trashies album should be. The songs are a little less straightforward in content than earlier efforts like, say, “Sweatpants Boner,” and Rattlesnakes’ more abstract crud is a necessary evolution into more complicated/ strange song structure, though clever as ever, with caterwauling vocals/group yells still intact. My favorite new song, “Shit Show in Shilshole,” is a vertigo-inducing keyboard and guitar spiral that makes me want to take acid and slow-dance on the beach of an abandoned, radiation-filled body of water.

I asked Ricky about the album title. “A teenage rattlesnake doesn’t have a fucking clue, all they want to do is get radical, as any young person should,” he explains. “They don’t know how to release their venom. They are born with this ability, and they don’t know what to do with it,” he continues. “So you can do whatever—you can take the life of everything in sight, but it’s just a matter of knowing how to release that venom. We all have venom, in one way or another. With great power comes great responsibility, you know?” The Trashies will flout their responsibility at their album-release show at Black Lodge, followed by a two-week tour down the West Coast.

So what does the future hold for the Trashies? “What’s next is Psychedelic Camouflage and Hoodrat/Woodrat,” says Ricky, who proceeds to spit out words that make little sense. “Hoodrat/Woodrat is a concept, a 7-inch. The ‘Woodrat’ side is a recording in a rural scenario, entirely outdoors, using as many acoustic instruments as possible—pure trash-folk breaking all musical boundaries. I want to be understood between A$AP Rocky and George Carlin lifestyle choices. ‘Hoodrat’ is recorded in the city, in a confined, dank, fucked-up, practicespace scenario where we have no room to move, let alone be comfortable.” I still don’t know what Psychedelic Camouflage entails, but it sounds amazing.

Ricky also sees the Trashies touring Europe, saving music abroad. “I think the next step is to bring the Northwest trashcore to Europe, to a global audience. I think that there are a number of Trash-heads in other parts of the world that we know nothing about. Born into the rattlesnake family. If they see us, it will help them mature. They are not free, and they need to release their venom accordingly. I mean, there might just be a person who doesn’t know they need to hear us, but they do. In France.”

The Trashies w/La Luz, Peace, Nucular Aminals Fri May 31, Black Lodge, 9 pm
The Trashies

SOUND CHECK

DEAD SHIP SAILING WITHIN A ONE-NIGHT WINDOW

Dead Ship Sailing

w/Panama Gold, Shake Some Action

Sat June 1, Barboza, 7 pm, $7, 21+

Dead Ship Sailing are a hazy rock two-piece that make highly mobile sounds. Their scaled-down, guitar-based drone ’n’ drive pulls you in on a line. For the recording of their debut, self-titled album, the Seattlebased husband and wife duo of Graig Markel and Zera Marvel gave themselves a set of parameters to work within. Each song was written, recorded, and mixed in a single evening in their own Recovery Room Studio. With guitars, vintage drum machines, and effects pedals (that Markel hand-wires himself), they made one song per week for 10 weeks. This “first-thought, best-thought” methodology generated rough-hewn, Warhol Factory pop motifs. Think the Kills/Raveonettes with streaks of the Soft Moon/Moon Duo—the songs are bleak and seducing with big rhythmic fuzz. Markel’s distorted and taut opioid riffs travel well with Marvel’s ghost-shrouded vocals. By minimizing within a one-night window, Marvel and Markel swell and expand. We spoke.

What made you all want to record your album within set guidelines? G: As a producer, I spend a lot of time convincing bands to stop fiddling, redoing, editing, and mixing. Usually the best performance is the first or second take. The benefit of the time-constraint rule is that you get what you get—results can be edgier and gritty. The downfalls are that you get what you get, and sometimes it sucks [laughs]. Z: We wanted to keep things simple. Putting a time limit on ourselves prevented us from overdoing things, and that’s what gives the songs a raw, frantic feel and forced us to embrace imperfection.

Did you really not make any adjustments after the one night? Z: I didn’t. Graig may have rerecorded all his parts when I wasn’t home.

G: After we chose the songs that made it on the record, I gave myself one week to master and make minor mix adjustments. No tracks were allowed to be altered.

What’s the story behind your song “Steady and Straight”? Z: I had only about 20 to 30 minutes to come up with the words for that song, so there’s no tantalizing story. You can make one up if you want. The drum machine is a Korg KPR-77 with some damage in the chain. Its name is Peter Thumper.

I want a tantalizing story. I see a futuristic, three-mile-long racetrack, and two racers who hate each other. They’re going like 300 miles per hour. One of them races in a machine that’s decrepit and run-down—she needs to win to feed her family. The other racer is a dick, he’s all new and sponsored, and he cheats. He puts drugs in her water bottle before the race starts, but she wins anyway. During the final laps, she hallucinates that Helen Keller is in the racing pod with her and guides her to victory. Z: Wow, that is tantalizing. I’ll start telling people [laughs]. She calls her race machine Peter Thumper. They’re flying, right?

Graig, you make your own effects pedals? Your sounds are so sweet and

gnarly. G: I do. I make the pedals we use for fuzz, distortion, delay, and reverb. Everything is point-to-point hand-wired. I also made the tube preamp that we use for Zera’s vocals. Recovery Effects is the name of our effects line. There are eight pedals now. Z: While some men look at porn, Graig looks at schematics.

Explain point-to-point hand-wiring.

G: Most pedals, even handmade boutique pedals, use a printed circuit board that uses tiny traces of metal printed on the board to get the signal from one point to another. The ones I make don’t use printed circuit boards. Instead, each component is connected together by their leads and thick solder joints. The thicker connection points provide a bolder, richer tone. When you spend the extra money for a hand-wired amp and thick quality cables, you should try to keep the same quality in your effects chain.

You two built your own studio, Recovery Room, by renovating a big shed behind your house. Please talk about powering through walls like a bulldozer. Z: There were no walls to knock down, just walls to build. I did a lot of mudding and sanding of drywall—I never want to do that again. I find most home-renovation projects end with me saying, “I never want to do that again.” When we bought our house, it was really neglected and needed work. Most people would probably fix up the house first, but we got straight to work turning the outbuilding into a studio. Priorities!

G: I almost shot a nail through my friend Bailey’s hand. Missed him by a hair [laughs].

Dead Ship Sailing

What’s this about you having an epileptic cat? Z: We have an epileptic cat. Her name is Pearl. Does anyone else out there have an epileptic cat?

Who have you been working with lately in Recovery Room? G: Recent highlights are Brent Amaker and the Rodeo, Grizzled Mighty, Motopony, Sick Secrets, Terri Tarantula, the Walkabouts, and Barton Carroll. Getting ready for the new Fox and the Law album.

Z: I like when the Rodeo comes over. Brent always brings good wine and snacks.

Is owning your own studio like owning a roller coaster? I mean, when you go to an amusement park, you get to go on the roller coaster like, twice, and it fucking rules, but if you owned the roller coaster and could go on it whenever, would it be as special? G: I wish I could go in my studio whenever, but there’s usually a band in there trying to be convinced that their previous take was better than the one they just did [laughs].

Z: When you have the ability to spend endless hours working on something, it’s even more important to challenge yourself and do something other than what you are used to. Our goal was to break any old habits and keep it fun.

JENNINGS

INTERVIEWS

Anna Minard claims to “know nothing about music.” For this column, we force her to listen to random records by artists considered to be important by music nerds.

So I just moved this week—you guys, moving is the worst. I’m kind of a pack rat and I hate organizing things, so the process of moving just feels like helplessly throwing up on myself over and over and then having to clean it up. Gross, embarrassing, and time-consuming. I was hoping to really bond with whatever music I listened to this week; it seemed like music I listened to while dismantling and re-mantling my life would be forged to my soul somehow. But I could not listen to Black Woman while packing, nor while cleaning, nor carrying boxes, nor finding where the hell that lamp shade went. It is not for such things. The cover of Black Woman is so mesmerizing, so full of promise. That mascara! That tie! That hair! The first track sounded neat, a great rollicking warm-up of crazy mouth sounds and cymbals and tittering piano. Then it just… kept going. It wasn’t a warmup. It was the song. Okeydoke, I can get behind that. Who needs words? We’re just going with a feeling here! I imagined Linda Sharrock shaking her head around, holding her hands out. And then that’s it. For five minutes. Ohhh ohh, whoa, ay ay. All right! Not a good soundtrack for the boxing and scrubbing of a life, though. Too shattering—I shelved it. So now I’m listening to it in a new apartment in the dark, sipping brandy neat out of a jam jar. The moon is so bright it has a corona of white clouds; freshly Windexed glass and the smell of cardboard make everything seem promising and hopeful. The music is like a comb of needles dragging lightly across my skin— disturbing, not quite painful, a little ticklish.

Track two is “Peanut,” and it sounds like instruments telling each other jokes or just chatting on a porch somewhere. They go in fits and starts, never making a whole song, stopping for a second after every burst. Sometimes they sound like they know one another, sometimes they’re awkward, muttering acquaintances. The guitar line crumples on itself; the drums get offended. She cries out again, long and loud, strong— then anguished. This sounds like it belongs in The Big Lebowski, like Maude would like it.

The last track, “Portrait of Linda in Three Colors, All Black,” is mostly wailing, some screaming. I know there are instruments, but I can’t stop listening to her yelps. They are jarring and knock me off balance. I can’t tell if her shrieks are the sounds of sex, torture, or jazz. Maybe those are more related than I thought?

I asked Dave Segal what the fuck all this is. He called it an “unconventional singing style.” Understatement of the century.

I give this a “Sonny Sharrock: It’s Not Sonny and Cher” out of 10.

SONNY AND LINDA SHARROCK Black Woman (Vortex)

MY PHILOSOPHY

GRAVES33, TURTLE T, ROMARO FRANCESWA

Hope you’re doing well out there, staying out of the rain when you can, catching the sun when it falls through—ugh, weather references are so emo-rap—but just like you on Twitter, a lot of the shit I say here is a very necessary reminder to myself. Hope y’all don’t mind. If I don’t talk to myself someplace, I’ll start doing it at shows—oh yeah, shows. Thursday, May 30, Graves33 is at Barboza, and the well-seasoned, muchtraveled multi-instrumentalist/producer Budo is making his solo debut over at the Crocodile’s Back Bar with Orbe Orbe. On Friday, May 31, Brothers from Another play at Nathan Hale, and Juicy J A$AP Ferg, and Jarv Dee trip out Showbox at the Market. Saturday, June 1—it’s fucking JUNE ALREADY—Nissim, who you once knew as D.Black, is at the Crocodile with Fly Moon Royalty and Head Like a Kite Now: new business.

I’m pretty sure I haven’t spilled enough ink for the Nu Era crew, and NE’s standout MC, Turtle T, just released his solo debut, Of Love and Lust. It starts out very slightly recalling the easy intimacy and earnest freshness of TiRon & Ayomari’s A Sucker for Pumps—probably not a stretch, seeing as Nu Era has brought T&A to tour the NW with them twice now, as you may yourself recall. Turtle speaks real about his life and times with the ladies, his music, and his indiscretions and failings with both, and the smoky hooks from singer Camila Recchio sweeten the proceedings. Turtle’s youngeveryman stance is patently patient, principled but far from perfect and sometimes evocative of Blu—another LA rap act he’s helped bring out a couple times. “Now things ain’t perfect,” T rhymes, “but I’m still working/and I’m still learning/’cause I’m determined.” Of Love’s best moments are charmingly sentimental and bittersweet— enough to forgive some of the album’s brief lapses of focus or emotional subtlety.

Federal Way’s Romaro Franceswa is a name you should remember, and not just because it’s a helluva handle—he’s also the latest young gun to flex over the ace production of Seattle’s perennially underappreciated pillar BeanOne. After a couple spins through, Romaro’s slightly creaky tone, thoughtful bars, and way-nimble flow make it apparent why he’s become a priority within Bean’s Yuk the World network. This is definitely one of the town’s best new voices. Rejoice, Seattle—you’re enjoying an absolute glut of quality rap music from local players both veteran and brand-new. Yes, BeanOne has an ear for talent, duh, and comes correct on the boards, bringing his by-now-signature sensibility to bear—a percussive, new-school/Golden Era tension that effortlessly achieves a tough-to-pindown timelessness. Features from Fearce Vill, big homie Fatal Lucciauno, and his Rise Team co-d Cazh are right on time, but it’s Romaro’s confidence and style that hold the proceedings down from end to end. If you’re wondering where to find all this, let me say that Google is not your friend, and the Feds are definitely poking your Facebook—but the internet is still your best bet, if you’re so inclined. Godspeed.

HIPHOP YA DON'T STOP
BY LARRY MIZELL JR.
Romaro Franceswa

UP&COMING

Lose your polluted wave of nostalgia every night this week!

For the full music calendar, see page 41 or visit thestranger.com/music

For ticket on-sale announcements, follow twitter.com/seashows

Wednesday 5/29

inc., Kelela, DJ Total Freedom (Crocodile) See Data Breaker, page 45.

Bolt Thrower, Benediction (Neumos) When I first saw the lineup for this show, I did a serious double take. I knew that iconic UK death metallers Bolt Thrower had been playing occasional shows again and that they were on the bill for Maryland Deathfest, but after years of watching bands skip this city—and often the entire Northwest region—even on their so-called “West Coast tours,” I learned to not get my hopes up. The last time they played a gig in this area was back in ’91 in Federal fucking Way. (?!) Let’s show these guys it’s always worth it to make the trek up to the 206. KEVIN DIERS

Pitschouse, Punishment, Mega Bog (Heartland) Mega Bog are a coven, twisting out mystic, punky noise-pop gems—something to be enjoyed by fans of Nirvana and Game of Thrones alike. Their 2012 EP Some UFO holds its own in both the noise and pop realms, where haunted-yet-crystalclear vocals illuminate songs that alternate between mellow Middle-Earth noise-pop and anxious, driving, punk guitar lines. Lead singer/guitarist/queen witch Erin Birgy is a Seattle treasure who can be found teaching guitar at Rock ’n’ Roll Camp for Girls, running her Wizards of the Ghost label, or fixing complicated pedal problems at Capitol Hill’s beloved High Voltage Music Store. And, of course, casting her aural spells via Mega Bog. BREE MCKENNA

Official FELA! After-Party: Big World Breaks, the Good Sin, DJ Alex (Barboza) To celebrate the opening of the Broad-

way hit FELA! at the Paramount, local cats Big World Breaks, the Good Sin, and DJ Alex are providing an after-party that will feature the music and moods of the great Nigerian musician. Fela Kuti, who died of an AIDS-related illness in 1997, was a giant of African pop—no, it’s better to say: Fela was a god of African pop. He walked like a god, sang like a god, and loved like a god; he had nearly 30 wives. Indeed, he did not so much make music, but a community of music. There was nothing like Fela before or after him. CHARLES MUDEDE

Thursday 5/30

Graves33, Stoop Kidd, Black Magic Noize

(Barboza) See My Philosophy, page 35.

Budo, Orbe Orbe

(Crocodile) See My Philosophy, page 35.

A Tribute to the Music of Muscle Shoals: Patterson and David Hood

(Triple Door) Patterson Hood is an acclaimed solo artist and a member of the even more acclaimed Drive-By Truckers. David Hood is his father, and cofounder of the legendary Muscle Shoals Sound Studios, where the elder Hood also worked as a producer and session musician. Tonight, father and son share stories and songs onstage at the Triple Door, in connection with the SIFF documentary Muscle Shoals. A one-night-only showcase that should be nothing less than amazing. DAVID SCHMADER

Eternal Summers, VibraGun, Trash Fire

(Sunset) These three band names together, in any combination, might describe a really hilarious/

heartwarming coming-of-age film about independence, the mean streets, young love, and… wait, I think I’ve been reading too many SIFF blurbs recently. Eternal Summers are an expansive three-piece visiting from Roanoke, Virginia, whose post-punk, matter-of-fact angst is wrapped in driving pop and moody/sweet vocals. With power-pop-punk brat-attack Trash Fire (a little Jay W. K./Andrew Reatard, y’know?) and local rockers VibraGun. I’m still confident this show will be a heartwarming night of young love on the mean streets of Ballard. EMILY NOKES

The Purrs, Kingdom of the Holy Sun, This Blinding Light (Comet) There’s a melody in one of the verses in the Purrs’ Fin Records single “Rotting on the Vine” that echoes that famous progression in the Lemon Pipers’ “Green Tambourine.” This sort of early, naïve psychpop hints at the Purrs’ approach: faithful, traditional, and melodically brilliant. Kingdom of the Holy Sun and This Blinding Light take psychedelia to darker and heavier realms. The former seemingly record only in opium dens, and the latter sound like the missing link between Loop and Spacemen 3. Tantric, mantric

COFFEE, SPIRITS, AND MUSIC

WED 5/29 ABSOLUTE KARAOKE  THU 5/30 MARMALADE

FRI 5/31

SAT 6/1

MON 6/3

TUE 6/4

THE HIGHLIFE BAND with IN WALKS BUD & DAN DUBUQUE

PRINCE CARLTON & PLEDGE EMPIRE RECORDS PRESENTS:

“HIP HOP NIGHT AT THE WHITE RABBIT”

MICHAEL SHRIEVE’S SPELLBINDER

FIREMONKEY with PASSION PARTY & introducing PLASTIC SAINTS

WED 6/5 ABSOLUTE KARAOKE

stuff, brothers and sisters. DAVE SEGAL

Beethoven’s Violin Concerto (Benaroya Hall): Alina Ibragimova is the 27-year-old British-based, Russian-born violinist who’s starring this evening, and she’s been accused of being very starry, in fact. She’ll perform Beethoven’s great big Violin Concerto on a program that also includes Bed˘rich Smetana’s late-19th-century piece based on a Schiller play, Wallenstein’s Camp, and Dvorak’s Symphony No. 6. Czech-born Jakub Hruša conducts; in 2011, Gramophone called him one of 10 conductors “on the verge of greatness.” It’s 2013 now, so keep your ears up for greatness. Through June 2. JEN GRAVES

Maiah Manser, Shebear, Ephrata, White Hawaiian (Chop Suey) I was very intrigued when Eighteen Individual Eyes guitarist Jamie Aaron started tweeting about her solo project, White Hawaiian. In one message, she wrote, “‘WHO ARE YOU? WHERE ARE ALL THE GUITARS?’ - Anticipated reactions to the White Hawaiian debut.” Indeed! It’s nothing like you’d expect, given Aaron’s involvement in guitar-driven outfits like EIE, H Is for Hellgate, and Henkensiefken. The first song Aaron released, “Warhawk,” starts out as a somber, slightly industrial number, but the slow-moving chorus takes on a vibe that she describes as “alt-R&B.” Honestly, I don’t care where the guitars are—this is great. Listen to “Warhawk” and a haunting, electrified version of Elliott Smith’s “Between the Bars” at whitehawaiian.bandcamp.com. MEGAN SELING

Friday 5/31

Juicy J, A$AP Ferg, Jarv Dee (Showbox at the Market) See My Philosophy, page 35.

The Trashies, La Luz, Peace, Nucular Aminals (Black Lodge) See preview, page 32.

Eddie C and Koosh (Re-bar) See Data Breaker, page 45.

Mechanismus: Douglas J. McCarthy, Octavius, More Machine Than Man (Highline) See Data Breaker, page 45.

Foals

(Neptune) One of the UK’s most celebrated “indie” dance-rock bands since their 2008 debut, Antidotes, Foals have made a career out of the kind of driving 4/4 rhythms and noodling twin guitar parts used by, well, scores of other bands. But the Oxford fivepiece have always distinguished themselves from the genre’s also-rans with their dynamic song structures and tightly interwoven leads. On their latest, Holy Fire, Foals take a distinctly harder, more serious, and often more grandiose approach to their signature sound. The results are a bit hit-and-miss, but seeing these kinds of build-to-explosive-crescendo jam-outs duplicated in a live setting makes it tough for even the most jaded of critics to deny. MIKE RAMOS

A Benefit for Ricky Powell: The Loss, Burn Burn Burn, Ol’ Doris, Hurry Up and Die

(2 Bit Saloon) It’s always ironic when a band’s name—a band playing a benefit—doesn’t quite fit the bill. Recently, at a fundraising show for the Country Doctor Community Health Clinic, the band “Crypts” performed. Now, at a benefit for Ricky Powell, a Seattle Black Crown Car driver who was shot three times in April in an attempted robbery, a band called “Hurry Up and Die” is playing. Thankfully, Powell didn’t hurry off anywhere, and he did

NOT die. Unfortunately, he does have a long road to recovery, missed work, and expensive medical bills. This bill of local punk rock is only asking for $5 at the door, but give what you can. If you hate fun and/or punk, you can also donate a dollar or 10 online, at rickrighteous.com. KELLY O

Saturday 6/1

Dead Ship Sailing, Panama Gold, Shake Some Action (Barboza) See Sound Check, page 33.

Sibling Rivalry, Elch, Winnebago, Candysound (Heartland) See Underage, page 46.

Foals

(Neptune) See Friday.

Head Like a Kite, Fly Moon Royalty, Nissim (Crocodile) Three bands. Three headliners. All on the stage at once. It’ll be nuts! It’ll be anarchy! The electro-groove of Head Like a Kite will collide with Fly Moon Royalty’s stunning R&B, and Nissim (formerly known as D. Black) will tie it all together with a smooth and tight flow. There will be mash-ups and spontaneous collaborations. There will be costumes, and there will be Tilson. There will not be a boring moment. There will not be a chance to catch your

breath. Anything can happen, and it’ll happen one night only. Tonight. Don’t miss this extravaganza. MEGAN SELING See also My Philosophy, page 35.

Seattle School of Rock Presents: White Stripes vs. Black Keys (Chop Suey) Or McDonald’s versus Burger King, or maybe Coke versus Pepsi. Okay, that’s a bit harsh, but when you get right down to it, the White Stripes and the Black Keys are pretty much the most obvious blues-rock default combos for people who want to seem “hip” to their straight-world coworkers. Both bands are as American as stupid gun deaths and childhood obesity, and no doubt Seattle School of Rock’s budding musicians will have fun running through the songbooks of these exemplars of neo-trad-rock hegemony. But it probably won’t push them to the limits of their technical abilities, if you catch my drift. (Trivia: I once saw Black Keys play to fewer than 40 people at a Cleveland tavern. Those were the days.)

DAVE SEGAL

Dee-Shu-Palooza: The Pharmacy, the Quiet Ones, Roaming Herds of Buffalo

(Columbia City Theater) Local artist Darin Shuler’s illustrations are weird, restless, and funny—the poster for this show, for example, has different kinds of cookies and crazy-eyed bird heads splashing into puddles of milk. Gross! Yum! I can’t decide! If I did drugs, his dogs, half-man/half-bunny creatures, and crazy-eyed illustrations of Uncle Frank

and eat me in my sleep (or will they?!). Tonight is our chance to get a peek at a new batch of Mr. Shuler’s artwork at the first ever Dee-Shu-Palooza, which also includes performances from great local acts the Pharmacy, the Quiet Ones, and Roaming Herds of Buffalo. Come bask in the weird. MEGAN SELING

Sunday 6/2

New Found Glory, Cartel (Showbox at the Market) The only reason anyone over the age of 18 should go see New Found Glory play 2002’s Sticks and Stones in its entirety is if you want to surf the (very polluted) wave of nostalgia. Because Sticks and Stones WASN’T GOOD, you guys. It was catchy, sure. It was the trend at the time. But Sticks and Stones was pop-punk’s dying fart. But whatever. Go. Sing along. Pretend your parents suck and your girlfriend is terrible and relationships are like car crashes. But if you’re an adult, and you’re there, and you’re still able to relate to these songs, then it’s time to move out of NeverNever Land, lost boy. MEGAN SELING

Monday 6/3

Mice Parade, Ghost of Kyle Bradford (Triple Door) Early Mice Parade albums like Ramda, The True Meaning of Boodleybaye, and Mokoondi featured an interesting array of tracks that blended minimalist IDM, neo-exotica, and down-tempo post-rock. Over the last dozen or so years, Mice Parade leader and dexterous percussionist Adam Pierce has gravitated toward a more precious, cutely melodic sound that seems to be merging with that of the Icelandic group múm (whose Gunnar Örn Tynes now plays with Mice Parade). The new fulllength, Candela, finds Pierce and company keeping the rhythms bustling and the guitar surprisingly bristling, while Gisellse Saad Assi adds delicate vocal embroidery. These new songs rock harder than much of Mice Parade’s dozy ’00s output; unexpected positive development! DAVE SEGAL

Cool Ghouls, Prism Tats, Love in Mind, the Monarchies

(Chop Suey) There’s a warm, yellowed, ’60s-rockmeets-marijuana-meets-the-echo-effect-on-vocals that washes over San Francisco four-piece Cool Ghouls’ jangledelic rock ’n’ roll. Their best songs mix scuzzy guitar and rambling harmonies with blaring horns and piano sprinklings, keeping things joyful and even a little classy, in a “bow tie at the bar fight” sort of way. Joining the Ghouls are Love in Mind, a supergroup of sorts (featuring members of Sick Sad World, Neighbors, Mega Bog, and more) from Seattle, who make self-described “post-teen angst/ nu dramatic dad rock” (ha!). It’s easygoing and introverted stuff; a gentle voice croons heartfelt lyrics a little reminiscent of the singer of their namesake song (Neil Young). With Seattle’s berserker-rock trio Monarchies and catchy one-man future-pop operation (poperation!) Prism Tats. EMILY NOKES

Tuesday 6/4

Robyn Hitchcock, Venus 3, Peter Buck

(Neptune) See Stranger Suggests, page 19, and Underage, page 46.

Stranded Sullivan, Night Cadet, Hi Ho Silver Oh (Tractor) Night Cadet’s slow, sudsy dream-pop sounds like shallow longing, like the 1980s crying a single tear, like looking out the window late at night and seeing a lit-up city skyline, your solemnfaced reflection floating in the way. The arty foursome has a way of doing voodoo origami with your loneliness so it either shrinks or blooms in your stomach, depending on the moment or the song. (That creeps me out, but in a good way.)

Stranded Sullivan does solid black-and-white sadness-rock, and Hi Ho Silver Oh’s careful diction, big words, and casual harmonies seem slightly sillier than their compatriots’, but not by much. Go to this show alone and stoned and you might never find your way out of the feelings hole. Go in just the right mood, and you might gain superpowers.

ANNA MINARD

Music Box

WESTERN HAUNTS the Soft Hills Rags and Ribbons 21+

HEAD LIKE A FLY MOON NISSIM

Head Like A Kite, Fly Moon Royalty, Nissim (form. D.Black) 21+

ReignCity Presents PHAROAHE MONCH Xperience, Justis, Bruce Leroy All Ages

CRYSTAL FIGHTERS Alpine Aan All Ages

ReignCity

Malitia Malimob 21+

HARRIS & TYLER DOPPS Kung Foo Grip, Mike Champoux All Ages

6/15 HALLOQUEEN & DUDLEY MANLOVE QUARTET 6/16 SHELTON HARRIS & TYLER DOPPS

6/18 TORRES 6/19 EMILY WELLS 6/20 BIG BUSINESS 6/21 MEALFROG, THE GOOD HURT 6/22 EARLY: SCHOOL OF ROCK: ZAPPA LATE: COME, THE REDWOOD PLAN 6/24 KRIZZ KALIKO 6/25 VANGUARD 6/27 THE BAD THINGS 6/28 MUSICARES BENEFIT 6/29 AYRON JONES AND THE W AY & THE STAXX BROTHERS 7/2 DAN CROLL 7/5 THE NEW FUTURES, JESSIC A HERNANDEZ 7/7 BOB LOG III 7/12 THE CRYING SPELL 7/13 PASSENGER 7/19 JUSTIN MARTIN 7/20 DESSA 7/23 HEARTLESS BASTARDS 7/26 WINDOWPANE 7/27 NITE WAVE 8/1 LIGHTNING DUST 8/16 SMITH WESTERNS 8/17 ONE DROP 8/23 SOULS OF MISCHIEF 8/24 NEAL BRENNAN 8/29 GREGORY ALAN ISAKOV

a HEARTLAND Pitschouse, Punishment, Mega Bog, 8 pm

HIGH DIVE Battle of the Bands: Guests, 8 pm, Free HIGHWAY 99 Gin Creek, 8 pm, $6

NECTAR Bumpin’ Uglies, Soul Finga, High Noon, 8 pm, $5

10:30 pm

HAVANA SoulShift: Peter Evans, Devlin Jenkins, Richard Everhard, $1

LAST SUPPER CLUB Vibe

Wednesday: Jame$Ervin, DT, Contagious

LAVA LOUNGE Mod Fuck Explosion: DJ Deutscher

Meister

MOE BAR The Hump: DJ Darwin, DJ Swervewon, guests, 10:30 pm, free

NEIGHBOURS Undergrad:

Guest DJs, 18+, $5/$8

PONY Bloodlust: DJs Gin

& Tonic

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Fade: DJ Chinkyeye, DJ Christyle, 10 pm

THURS

5/30

LIVE

NEUMOS Bolt Thrower, Benediction, $20 NEW ORLEANS Legacy Band, Clarence Acox

OHANA Live Island Music

PINK DOOR Casey MacGill & the Blue 4 Trio, 8 pm

RENDEZVOUS Moondog Matinee, Psychedelephant THE ROYAL ROOM The Ocular Conern, Round Mountain

SEAMONSTER Scott Pemberton Band, 10 pm, Free

JAZZ ALLEY Anthony Wilson, Julian Lage, Chico Pinheiro, Larry Koonse, $20.50

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB Open Mic: Guests SUNSET TAVERN Surrounded by Breakers, Will Wakefield and the Congress Hotel Certain Inertia , $6

DJ

BALTIC ROOM Reverb: DJ Rome, Rozzville, Zooty B, Antartic

BARBOZA The Official Fela! Afterparty: Big World Breaks, the Good Sin, DJ Alex, $5

CENTURY BALLROOM DJ Alison, DJ Dan

CHA CHA LOUNGE DJ Hank Rock, Cutz Like a Knife, free CONTOUR Rotation Tryouts: Guests

THE EAGLE VJDJ Andy J ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN Passage: Jayms Nylon, Joey Webb, guests

TRACTOR TAVERN The Mongrel Jews, L’Orchestre D’Incroyable, Sweet Lou’s Sour Mash, $6 a TRIPLE DOOR Sara Gazarek, 7:30 pm, $20/$30

FOUNDATION Tantrum Desire, Sir Kutz, Jack & Jill, Matt Waters, $10 after

BALLERINA BOB FROM VANCOUVER, BC

Did you know that a can of beer at Sasquatch! costs $11?

ONE CAN OF BEER! If you’re not careful, drinking at the festival can cost you an arm and a leg (or in Bob’s case, just a leg). Despite the high prices, people still managed to get priiiiitty toasty. In fact, Bob here is only one of several people from Sasquatch! who are contenders for DOTW. Go vote for the best one at thestranger.com/drunkoftheweek! KELLY O

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

ARABICA LOUNGE OAG

Thang

BARBOZA Graves33, Stoop Kidd, Black Magic Noize, Julie C, the Dynamek Duo, 8 pm, $8

BARÇA Clark Gibson Trio, free

BLUE MOON TAVERN

Vapor Trails, Health Problems, Peeping Tomboys

CAN CAN Vince Mira

CHAPEL PERFORMANCE

SPACE Home Sweet Home, Renegade String Band, Simon Kornelis, $6/$8

a CHOP SUEY Maiah Manser, Shebear, Ephrata, White Hawaiian, 7 pm, $7

COMET The Purrs, This Blinding Light , Kingdom of the Holy Sun

CONOR BYRNE Kevin

Murphy, Lotus Vellum, Pete Jordan, $7

COPPER GATE Fu Kun Wu Trio, 8 pm, free

a CROCODILE Budo, Orbe Orbe, 8 pm, $7

DISTRICT LOUNGE Cassia

DeMayo Quintet, 8 pm, free

EGAN’S JAM HOUSE Eva Tree and Alicia Healey, 7 pm, $7

a EL CORAZON The Accountants, guests, 8 pm, $8/$10

a FREMONT ABBEY Eli West, Laura Cortese, Fish & Bird, 8 pm

a GUAYMAS CANTINA

Oleaje Flamenco, 8 pm, free

HIGH DIVE Awfully Sudden Death of Martha G, Bullets or Balloons, Dead Sea Symphony, 8 pm, $6

HIGHLINE Usnea, Bell Witch, Crawlin

HIGHWAY 99 Nick Moss & the Flip-Tops, 8 pm, $15

JAZZ ALLEY Spanish Harlem Orchestra, $30.50

LUCID The Hang: Caffeine, 9:30 pm, free

a MOORE THEATER Jewel, Steve Poltz, Atz Lee

NECTAR Taina Asili, UniteOne, Comfort Food, $7

a NEPTUNE THEATER

Beth Orton, James Bay, 7 pm, $29.50

NEUMOS The Grizzled Mighty, the Flavr Blue, the Comettes, 8 pm, free

PINK DOOR Bric-a-Brac, 8 pm

THE ROYAL ROOM The Expanded Correo Aereo Air Ensemble

SCARLET TREE How Now Brown Cow , 9:30 pm, free

SEAMONSTER

Hardcoretet , 10 pm, Free

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Til All Is One, Lust for Glory, 8 pm, $8

THE STEPPING STONE PUB

Open Mic: Guests

a STUDIO SEVEN Fear Factory, Hate Eternal, Kobra and the Lotus, American Wrecking Company, Hate Fist, 6 pm, $20/$25

SUNSET TAVERN Eternal Summers, Chastity Belt,

THURSDAY, MAY 30TH THE SUNSET PRESENTS

ETERNAL SUMMERS with VibraGun and Trash Fire

$10 ADV / 8PM DOORS / 21+

NOW AVAILABLE ON

JUNE

JUNE 5TH

JUNE 6TH

FRIDAY JUNE 7TH LENKA

JUNE 8TH

COMING UP 6/12 Khingz • 6/13 Shy Girls • 6/14 Durge Fest 5 ft. Half Light • 6/15 Snowden • 6/16 Nguzunguzu • 6/17 Dust Moth • 6/19 Cayucas • 6/20 John Grant • 6/21 Colin Stetson • 6/22 TH3RDZ • 6/23 Frankmusik •  6/26 Giraffage + Mister Lies • 6/28 The Purrs • 6/29 The Glass Notes • 7/3 Juan MacLean • 7/10 Futurebirds • 7/20 The Piniellas • 7/21 Tu B’av Fest • 7/25 Groundislava • 8/22 Scout Niblett

w/ Andrew W.K. on Vocals

Trash Fire, $10

TRACTOR TAVERN Dead Winter Carpenters, the Washover Fans, $10

a TRIPLE DOOR A

Tribute to the Music of Muscle

Shoals: Patterson and David Hood, 7 pm, $20/$22

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Rik Wright, Free

THE WHITE RABBIT Marmalade, $6

DJ

BALLROOM DJ Rob, free

CAPITOL CLUB Citrus: DJ Skiddle

CENTURY BALLROOM DJ Gustavo

THE EAGLE Nasty: DJ King of Pants, Nark

FOUNDATION Drip: Shaka, Advocate, Cozmic Danger, DJ Yungvlad, $5/$10

HAVANA Sophisticated

Mama: DJ Sad Bastard, DJ Nitty Gritty

LAST SUPPER CLUB Open House: Guests

LAVA LOUNGE Rock DJs: Guests

MOE BAR Saucy: DJ Rad’em, DJ 100 Proof, free NEIGHBOURS Jet Set Thursdays: Guest DJs NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND The Lowdown: DJ Lightray, $3 OHANA Chill: DJ MS SEE SOUND LOUNGE Damn Son: DJ Flave, Sativa Sound System, Jameson

Just, Tony Goods, $5 after 10:30 pm

TRINITY Space Thursdays: Rise Over Run, DJ Christyle, Johnny Fever, DJ Nicon, Sean Majors, B Geezy, guests, free FRI

5/31

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON A Benefit for Ricky Powell: The Loss, Burn Burn Burn, Ol’ Doris, Hurry Up and Die

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

a BLACK LODGE La Luz, Trashies, Nucular Aminals,

Peace

BLUE MOON TAVERN The Geese, Gerhardts, Belmont Whips, Imaginary Lines

CENTRAL SALOON Flying Tortugas, Other Animals, Bodybox, free

COLUMBIA CITY THEATER

Tess Henley, Melissa Polinar, $12/$15

CONOR BYRNE The Past Impending GreenhornBluehorn , the Bitter Main, Highway Evangelism, $7

CROCODILE Western Haunts, the Soft Hills, Rags & Ribbons, 8 pm, $10

DARRELL’S TAVERN Moral Crux, the Whorewoods, the Weird-Ons, 9 Lb Beaver

Toe Tag, Hated Noise, guests, 6 pm, $10

a EL CORAZON SpaceWaster, Metameric, Weld, Muscle Beach Wrecking Crew, $8/$10; Mike Pinto, Natural Vibrations, Three Legged Fox, 8 pm, $15/$18

a EMPTY SEA STUDIOS

Darryl Purpose, Daryl S, 8 pm, $15/$18

FOUNDATION Dzeko & Torres, Bgeezy, Gravity Lift, Fierro

a FREMONT ABBEY Kelli Schaefer, Apartment Lights, 8 pm, $10/$13

HARD ROCK CAFE Jessica Lynne, 5 pm, free; Aces Up, Andy Shofner Band, Crosswire, Doug Black, 8 pm, $10/$13

HIGH DIVE Big Wheel Stunt Show, the Fame Riot, Ships , 9:30 pm, $8

HIGHLINE Mechanismus: Nitzer Ebb, Octavius, More Machine Than Man, $10/$15

JAZZ ALLEY Spanish Harlem Orchestra, $30.50

KELL’S St. James Gate, Free

THE KRAKEN BAR & LOUNGE Thac0, Balsa, Medula Pinata, Green River Thrillers, $5

THE MIX Finger Guns, Naked Walrus, P2B MOORE THEATER Pam Ann, 7 pm, $38-$68

a NEPTUNE THEATER Foals, $22.50/$25

NEUMOS Atomic Pop, the

Unoriginals, 8 pm, $10

RAVIOLI STATION TRAINWRECK Dizzy, guests

RENDEZVOUS Kozo, the Bismarck , Seminars, 10:30 pm

a THE ROYAL ROOM Curtis Hammond Band, Piano Royale, 5:30 pm

SEAMONSTER Funky 2 Death, 10 pm, free

SERAFINA John Sanders and Sue Nixon

a SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Juicy J, A$AP

FERG, Jarv Dee, 8 pm, $23.50/$27

a SHOWBOX SODO Fiji and Drew Deezy, 8 pm, $30/$35

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Disco Cowboys, Guns of Nevada , 8 pm, $7

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE Situation Normal, the Last 45s, the Lucky Boys

a STUDIO SEVEN Gorod, Vale of Pnath, Kamikabe, Inanimate Existence, Funeral Age, 6:30 pm, $11/$13

SUNSET TAVERN Massy Ferguson, Sometimes Salvation, 10 pm, $8/$10

TRACTOR TAVERN Tom Eddy, Heatwarmer, Pollens, $10

a TRIPLE DOOR Bonzo’s Celebration Day: NW Drummers Pay Tribute to John Bonham: Simona Bressi, Chase Culp, Michael Cotta, guests, 8 pm, $20

a VERA PROJECT Yasmine, Zozbra, Claggswagg, Nate & Nipsey, Jack’spants Experience, Newsgirl, 7 pm, $10/$11

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Lushy , Free THE WHITE RABBIT The Highlife Band, In Walks Bud, Dan Dubuque

DJ 95 SLIDE DJ Fever One

BALLROOM DJ Tamm of KISS fm

BALMAR Body Movin’ Fridays: DJ Ben Meadow, free

BALTIC ROOM Bump Fridays: Guest DJs

BARBOZA Just Got Paid: 100proof, $5 after 11:30 pm

CAFE RACER DJ El Hefe

THURSDAY 5/30

THE JEWEL FALLS AGAIN

Way too much for us geighz to do! It’s killing me in all the very best ways. Tonight let’s rush off to a screening of the wonderful bucket of silly sexiness known as Waxie Moon in Fallen Jewel Honestly, I’m less than exactly sure WTF is going on sometimes in this off-the-wall, Seattle-reference-packed film (and I’ve seen it twice!)—but dang it all, I EFFING LOVE IT. Don’t miss it! Starring… everybody. (Almost. I wasn’t asked.) Central Cinema, 8 pm, $12, all ages.

SATURDAY 6/1

JAMES FRANCO: KINKY FOR YOU

In the totally made-up naked interview with James Franco I just had in my head, he rolled over and whispered, “I produced this thuper-naughty little gay

CAPITOL CLUB Neoplastic:

Marcus G, Jay Battle, DJ Shorthand, free

CENTURY BALLROOM DJ Cebrina

CONTOUR Afterhours, 2 am

CUFF TGIF: C&W Dancing:

DJ Harmonix, DJ Stacey, 7 pm, Guest DJs, 11 pm, $5

FUEL DJ Headache, guests

HAVANA Rotating DJs: DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5

LAST SUPPER CLUB

Madness: Guests

LAVA LOUNGE DJ David

James

MERCURY DJ Major Tom, $5

NEIGHBOURS The Ultimate

Dance Party: DJ Richard Dalton, DJ Skiddle

NEIGHBOURS

UNDERGROUND Caliente

Celebra: DJ Polo, Efren

OHANA Back to the Day: DJ Estylz

RE-BAR Slopoke Disco: Eddie C + Koosh

SCARLET TREE Oh So Fresh Fridays: Deejay Tone, DJ

Buttnaked, guests

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Crush: Guest DJs, free

TRINITY Tyler, DJ Phase, DJ Nug, guests, $10

THE WOODS Deep/Funky/ Disco/House: Guest DJs

SAT 6/1

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Sebastian and the Deep Blue, Safeword

Sasquatch, A Leaf, Robb Benson, Shelk

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

BARBOZA Dead Ship

Sailing, Panama Gold, Shake Some Action , 7 pm

BLUE MOON TAVERN The Of, King County Queens, the Guardians, 9:30 pm, $6

CAFE RACER The Nite Caps a CENTURYLINK FIELD

Kenny Chesney a CHAPEL PERFORMANCE

SPACE Seattle Modern Orchestra a CHOP SUEY School of

movie [Kink] about paddlings and bindings and unbridled butthole lovin’ just for you, Adrian, only for you. Now kiss me like you did in Paris!” He also apologized for Oz the Great and Powerful, which was nice. Egyptian Theater, 9 pm, $12, 17+.

DJ RIZ DOES COCK & BULL

After James Franco’s filthy movie, it is off to the thexxxy monthly dance night of flesh and fog and wicked intentions, Cock & Bull—this time featuring the magical talents of DJ Riz Rollins. Don’t bother getting dressed for it. At all. Rebar, 10 pm, $5, 21+.

SUNDAY 6/2

THE VAUDEVILLIANS

We’ve been waiting months for this. Now, you know Jinkx Monsoon good and proper by now, right? Played by the incomparable Jerick Hoffer? RPDR 5 winner? Don’t try my patience. Well, Jerick isn’t Jinkx this time—in this instance, Jerick is Jinkx playing Kitty Witless, and Richard Andriessen is playing Major Scales playing Dr. Dan. (Confusing!) The two play formerly frozen but recently revived vaudeville performers—hilarious, oldtimey-yet-naughty-mouthed thrills ensue. Tonight they give Seattle one big sloppy kiss good-bye before they take this retro cabaret on its almost-sold-out New York City run! If there are tickets left (which is a toss-up, I fear), snatch those suckers up! N-o-w. Cornish Playhouse at Seattle Center, 7:30 and 9:30 pm, $10–$25, all ages.

THURSDAY, MAY 30TH - SUNDAY, JUNE 2ND

DREW BARTH

Drew Barth is one of the fastest rising comedy stars out of the Northwest. Born just outside of Seattle, what started as a dare in high school has become a full time career. A finalist in the Seattle International Comedy Competition, he has become a regular performer at comedy clubs, colleges, casinos, and private events up and down the Westcoast, working with such notable comedians as Jim Gaffigan, Nick Swardson, and Gregg Behrendt.

Waxie Moon

T

his column can’t be all daisies and unicorns, you know. Sometimes great art isn’t pretty. Sometimes it just sits there on the telephone pole, daring you to look, day after day after day… Sorry, what was I saying? AARON HUFFMAN

La Luz w/the Trashies, Nucular Aminals, Peace Fri May 31, Black Lodge

Rock Presents White Stripes and Black Keys: Guests, 5:30 pm, $10/$12

COLUMBIA CITY

THEATER Dee-Shu-Palooza: The Pharmacy, the Quiet Ones , Roaming Herds of Buffalo, guests, 8 pm, $8/$10

CONOR BYRNE Gabriel Mintz, Last Great Fire, Karlson, $7

CROCODILE Head Like a Kite , Fly Moon Royalty, Nissim, 8 pm, $10

DARRELL’S TAVERN The Lucky Boys, Piston Ready, Space Trash, the Panty Wayzsters, $7

EGAN’S JAM HOUSE Jose “Juicy” Gonzales Trio, $10 a EL CORAZON Big K.R.I.T., Smoke DZA, Jasper T & John Crown, Skywalker, Neema, guests, 8:30 pm, $22/$25

a FREMONT ABBEY Red Jacket Mine , Julia Massey & The Five Finger Discount, Sat, Jun 1, noon, $6-$10

HARD ROCK CAFE The Voodoos, Lacero, Riot In Rhythm, Jason Kertson and the Immortals, $10/$15 a HEARTLAND Sibling Rivalry, Elch, Winnebago, Candysound , 8 pm HIGH DIVE Lost Dogma ,

the Texas Teardrops, Truckstop Darlin, $8

HIGHLINE Witch Mountain, Ancient Warlocks , Mos Generator , Severhead HIGHWAY 99 Midnight Rambler, 8 pm, $12

JAZZ ALLEY Spanish Harlem Orchestra, $30.50 a JOSEPHINE Chaospalooza: Moral Crux, the Piss Drunks, 13 Scars, No Red Flags, Vile Display Of Humanity , Enemy Combatants, 5 pm

KELL’S St. James Gate, Free THE MIX DXL, Rocinante, Stoic

a NEPTUNE THEATER Foals, $22.50/$25

NEUMOS Redwood Plan, EverSoAndroid, Golden Gardens, 8 pm, $8

QUEEN CITY GRILL Faith Beattie, Bayly, Totusek, Guity, free RENDEZVOUS John Paul and the Apostles , Born of Ghosts, Devilwood a THE ROYAL ROOM Electric Circus, Piano Royale, 6 pm

SEAMONSTER Sound Dialog: Guests, 10:30 pm

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Skylar’s Seventh Anniversary Party: ‘80s Invasion, 8 pm, $7

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE 959, C-Leb & the Kettle Black , Planet of Giants

a STUDIO SEVEN Prelude to a Pistol, Darklight, Blackline , 8 pm, $10

SUNSET TAVERN Fruition, guests, $8/$10

TRACTOR TAVERN Nite Wave, DJ Indica Jones, $10/$12 a TRIPLE DOOR Sinatra at the Sands: Jim Kerl’s Swing Session Big Band, 7:30 pm, $20/$22

a VERA PROJECT Fighter X , Boaconstructor, Turtlesaur, Orbital Strike, 7:30 pm, $5/$6

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6 pm; Carrie Wicks, 8 pm, Free THE WHITE RABBIT

L.Hammon, Bubba Kush, Bryn King, Krisis, guests, $7 DJ

BALLROOM DJ Warren

BALTIC ROOM Good Saturdays: Guest DJs

WEDNESDAY 5/29

INC.—SLEAZY LIKE A SUNDAY MORNING (NOT VERY)

LA brothers Andrew and Daniel Aged of inc. are yet more neo-R&B seducers trying to come over all chill and suave That they lowercase their band name telegraphs their humble, hushed approach to coaxing you into the boudoir. On their 4AD debut full-length, no world, inc. indeed lure you into their well-appointed bedroom—is that a real tiger-skin rug?— but odds are better that their quivery Vaseline-lensed slow jams will put you to sleep than make you want to jump their bones. inc. seem to be going for the same heavy-lidded, horizontal funk that D’Angelo nailed on Voodoo, but their libido-boosting capabilities still have room for improvement. Still, they seem like nice, sincere guys. With Kelela, DJ Total Freedom, and Beat Connection (DJ set). Crocodile, 9 pm, $10 adv, all ages.

FRIDAY 5/31

EDDIE C AND KOOSH’S ECSTASY IN SLOW MOTION

A Slowpøke-curated night of electronic music ensures high-quality, laid-back dance vibes. The guys in this local crew know this important niche like the rigorous scholars they are, delving deeply into the world of cosmic disco, low-impact techno,

BARBOZA Inferno: Guests, 10:30 pm, free before 11:30 pm/$5 after

CAPITOL CLUB Get

Physical: DJ Edis, DJ

Paycheck, 10 pm, free

CENTURY BALLROOM

All-Vinyl Salsa: Outswing: DJ Hallie, DJ Klint, DJ Scott, DJ Edgar, DJ Cesar, DJ Mario

CONTOUR Europa Night:

Misha Grin, Gil

CUFF Bear Heat: DJ

Mattstands

FOUNDATION Project 46, Moiez, Darrius, FooFou

HAVANA Rotating DJs: DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5

LAVA LOUNGE DJ Matt

MERCURY DJ Hana Solo, $5

NEIGHBOURS Powermix: DJ

Randy Schlager

NEIGHBOURS

UNDERGROUND Club

Vogue: DJ Chance, DJ Eternal Darkness

OHANA Funk House: DJ

Bean One

RE-BAR Cock & Bull: DJ

Freddy King of Pants, $5

SEE SOUND LOUNGE

Switch: Guest DJs

TRINITY ((SUB)): Guy, VSOP, Jason Lemaitre, guests, $15/free before 10 pm

THE WOODS Hiphop/R&B/ Funk/Soul/Disco: Guest DJs

SUN

6/2

LIVE

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

CAFE RACER The Racer Sessions

CONOR BYRNE Open Mic: Guests, 8 pm

a CROCODILE Hands In, Trasholes, Not From Brooklyn, the Bandits of Otma, 8 pm, $5 a EL CORAZON Project 86, the People Now , December in Red, Cold Kiss Casino, 7:30 pm, $10-$25; the City Comes Alive, Ghost Animals, Animals in Cars, Absent, Ephrata, 8 pm, $8/$10

HIGH DIVE The Reaching , Michelle From the Club, guests, $6 JAI THAI BROADWAY Rock Bottom Soundsystem, free

and slouchy house. Canadian DJ/producers Eddie C and Koosh rank among the tightest practitioners in these stunted-bpm styles. From their minds and record boxes issue some of the sexiest sounds humanity is capable of creating. I checked, but this event is not sponsored by Planned Parenthood Re-bar, 11 pm, $10, 21+.

DON’T RECOIL: MECHANISMUS BOOKS

NITZER EBB’S DOUGLAS MCCARTHY

Mechanismus is a five-strong Seattle DJ collective championing industrial music In 2013, that’s kind of a lonely pursuit. Even though I’m not really interested in the genre anymore, I’m glad diehards keep it going. I’m a sucker for a quixotic cause. The folks in Mechanismus throw shows that, according to their Facebook page, “consist of social and political awareness, experimental dance, and art.” Tonight they’re hosting Douglas J. McCarthy, a primal mover of the crucial EBM (Electronic Body Music, EDM n00bs) groups Nitzer Ebb and Recoil

The man knows how to balance brutality and melodiousness, which is kind of a rarity in this genre. So, people, “Let Your Body Learn.” (You knew that was coming, didn’t you?) With Octavius, More Machine Than Man, Panzer Girls, DJ SAVAK, DJ Omega Brain, and DJ Seraphim Highline, 9 pm, $10 adv/$15 DOS, 21+.

WEDNESDAY JUNE 19 | 7:30 PM

THE FRONT BOTTOMS WEATHERBOX

$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD) ADVANCE

SATURDAY JUNE 15 | 7:30 PM

HARRY AND THE POTTERS PLUS GUESTS

$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD)

SUNDAY JUNE 23 | 6:00 PM

VERA PROJECT & TAKE WARNING PRESENTS GEOFF RICKLY (OF THURSDAY) VINNIE CARUANA (OF THE MOVIELIFE)

$10 ADV / $12 DOS

WEDNESDAY JUNE 26 | 7:30 PM

DEFIANCE, OHIO YOUR HEART BREAKS CORNER KICK

$8ADV / $10 DOORS

WEDNESDAY JULY 24 | 7:30 PM

THE EXCEPTIONALLY ORDINARY TOUR RAVEN ZOE, TODD WILLIAMS & MORE!

$15

FRIDAY JULY 26 | 7:00 PM

TAKE WARNING & THE VERA PROJECT PRESENTS TALLHART, FROM INDIAN LAKES MAKESHIFT PRODIGY

$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD)

ALWAYS ALL AGES

KARAOKE!

Minion Productions Artist Showcase 7PM

WED 5/29

The Grotto: Moondog Matinee with Psychadelephant 9pm THU 5/30 Seattle Comedy Lenny Viewing 6:30pm

The Grotto: NO DIGGITY 8:30pm Kozo & The Bismarck 10:30pm

JAZZ ALLEY Spanish Harlem Orchestra, $30.50

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

LITTLE RED HEN Open Mic

Acoustic Jam with Bodacious Billy: Guests, 4 pm a NEPTUNE THEATER The Boxer Rebellion, Fossil Collective, 7 pm, $16.50/$18

PIES & PINTS Sunday Night Folk Review: Guests, free RENDEZVOUS Gladiators Eat Fire , Metameric, Levels THE ROYAL ROOM The End Ensemble, Washington Composer’s Orchestra SEAMONSTER Quantonium, 10 pm, Free a SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET New Found Glory, Cartel, 6:30 pm, $19.99/$24 a STUDIO SEVEN A War in the Sky, Phantom Lord, Brandon Welch, Shae Kingsley, 7 pm, $8/$10

SUNSET TAVERN No Rey, Lady Grace, Kara Hesse, 8 pm, $6

TRACTOR TAVERN Desert Noises, the Parson Red Heads, Wayfinders, $8

a TRIPLE DOOR Coyote Grace, 7:30 pm, $12/$15

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6 pm, the Ron Weinstein Trio, 9:30 pm

DJ

BALTIC ROOM Mass:

Guest DJs

CAPITOL CLUB Island Style: DJ Bookem, DJ Fentar

CENTURY BALLROOM DJ Peter, DJ Lauren

CONTOUR Broken Grooves: DJ Venus, Rob Cravens, guests, free

THE EAGLE T-Bar/T-Dance: Up Above, Fistfight, free a FULL TILT ICE CREAM

Vinyl Appreciation Night: Guest DJs, 7 pm

LAVA LOUNGE No Come Down: Jimi Crash

MERCURY DJ Coldheart, $5

MOE BAR Chocolate Sundays: Sosa, MarsONE, Phosho, free

NEIGHBOURS Noche Latina: Guest DJs

PONY TeaDance: DJ El Toro, Freddy King of Pants, 4 pm Q NIGHTCLUB Revival: Riz Rollins, Chris Tower, 3

(OAK), CRAPS $7 BROKEN WATER

HAUNTED HORSES, JETMAN JETTEAM $7 KINSKI

SCRIPTURES, OZEN BAND, ELK RIDER, DJ MAMMA CASSEROLE $7 TEMPERS METAL MOTHER, GOLD WOLF GALAXY, DJ BLVKOPVL $7 HANGOVER MARKET

pm, free

RE-BAR Flammable: DJ Wesley Holmes, 9 pm

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Salsa: DJ Nick

THE STEPPING STONE PUB

Vinyl Night: You bring your records, they play them

MON 6/3

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Metal Monday: Sacrament Ov Impurity, Chemical Castration, guests, $5 AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Jerry Frank

BLUE MOON TAVERN Andy Coe Band, free CHOP SUEY Cool Ghouls, Prism Tats, Love in Mind, the Monarchies, $5

COMET Major Miner, Fever Charm, Gimmicks, Western Red Penguins a EL CORAZON Tigers Jaw, Pianos Become Teeth, Sainthood Reps, District, 7 pm, $12/$14

JAZZ ALLEY Mount Lake Terrace High School Jazz Ensemble, 7:30 pm, $20

KELL’S Liam Gallagher THE KRAKEN BAR & LOUNGE Murmurs, King Elephant, Agatha, Jefferson Death Star, $5

MAC’S TRIANGLE PUB Jazz and Blues Night: Guests, free MOLLY MAGUIRES Open Mic: Hosted by Tom Rooney, free NEW ORLEANS The New Orleans Quintet, 6:30 pm THE ROYAL ROOM The Royal Room Collective Music Ensemble

SEAMONSTER Monday Night Open Mic: 10 pm

SUNSET TAVERN Sam Amidon, Alessi’s Ark, guests, 8 pm, $10

TRACTOR TAVERN The Americans, Postcards from the Badlands, 8 pm, $10 a TRIPLE DOOR Musicquarium: Free Funk Union, free; Mice Parade, Ghost of Kyle Bradford, 8 pm, $10

THE WHITE RABBIT Michael Shrieve’s Spellbinder, $6

DJ BALTIC ROOM Jam Jam: Zion’s Gate Sound, $5

BARBOZA Minted: DJ Swervewon, 100proof, Sean Cee, Blueyedsoul, free CAPITOL CLUB The Jet Set: DJ Swervewon, 100 Proof COMPANY BAR Rock and Roll Chess Night: DJ Plantkiller, 8 pm, free CONOR BYRNE Get the Spins: Guest DJs, free

HAVANA Manic Mondays: DJ Jay Battle, free THE HIDEOUT Introcut, guests, free LAVA LOUNGE Psych/Blues: Bobby Malvestuto LO-FI Jam Jam: Zion’s Gate, Sound Selecta, Element, Mista Chatman , $5

THE MIX Bring Your Own Vinyl Night: Guests, 6 pm MOE BAR Minted Mondays: DJ Swervewon, 100proof, Sean Cee, Blueyedsoul, free NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND SIN: DJ Keanu, 18+, free OHANA DJ Hideki

PONY Dirty Deeds: Guest DJs Q NIGHTCLUB Reflect, 8 pm, free TUE 6/4

LIVE AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm a CHAPEL PERFORMANCE

SPACE Ivan Arteaga

CHOP SUEY Curse of the North , Sailor Mouth, the

SATURDAY 6/1

SIBLING RIVALRY, WINNEBAGO, CANDYSOUND, ELCH

Tonight in the U-District, Seattle lo-fi psychgarage rockers Winnebago will churn out drifting, bedroom-born guitar jams. Their scaled-back, lysergic embellishments will likely please fans of indie rock in the vein of Deerhunter, and they’re paired on this bill with Sibling Rivalry, a pleasantly poppy band reminiscent of the Shins. The Redmond/Seattle-based six-piece’s upcoming EP, Only Child, comes across as an artful teenage homage to Chutes Too Narrow, but not as fond of hand claps and glee. A total polarity to Winnebago’s sparsely reflective rock and Sibling Rivalry’s casually jubilant tunes, Elch are perhaps Bellevue’s noisiest exports. With spoken-word vocals slated over tense, propulsive riffs, they sculpt harsh and foreign-sounding frequencies like the post-hardcore love creation of Slint and rusting factory machines. Any of the three songs on their lone release, Depone, could be a cathartic and precise outtake on Spiderland, and

Open Mic: Guests, 8 pm, free OUTWEST Wine and Jazz Night: Tutu Jazz Quartet, free OWL N’ THISTLE Jazz Improv Night: Guests a PARAMOUNT THEATER Celtic Woman, 7:30 pm, $39-$99 RENDEZVOUS

that’s a massive compliment. The arty noise of Depone pokes my no-wave pleasure buttons. With the Bellingham band Candysound and their ’90s-era Kinsella-esque rock. Heartland, 8 pm.

TUESDAY 6/4

ROBYN HITCHCOCK, THE VENUS 3, PETER BUCK

If you listened to “college rock” in the 1980s, you might know British songwriter Robyn Hitchcock as a member of the post-punk band the Soft Boys, or for his solo work with the Egyptians and beyond. But if you weren’t alive in the ’80s, here’s a starter course: Hitchcock’s beautiful songs are a heaven-glazed, whimsical delight, with surreal lyrics (see “Furry Green Atom Bowl”) that kidnap ears and minds to wholly magical realms. Hitchcock, who recently became a sexagenarian, has described his music as “sadness cloaked in fun” and also says the songs on his latest record (his “twentysomethingth”), Love from London, are “paintings you can listen to.” Getting wound up in Hitchcock’s warmly eccentric neo-psych jangle folk—along with his improvised, fantastical, betweensong monologues—is likely the best way to spend this Tuesday night. Plus! He’ll be performing with Venus 3 and Peter Buck, some of whose members also make up half of indie legends/semi-mortals R.E.M. Neptune, 8 pm, $20.

FULLER
Winnebago

FILM

Formative Freakdom

Pee-wee’s Big Adventure Is the Greatest Movie of All Time. Period.

The genre-busting 1985 film Pee-wee’s Big Adventure is my first, second, 136th, 27th, and ninth favorite thing in the history of all things. This has been widely and publicly acknowledged. (Please refer to my extensive published works, available in fine dumpsters everywhere.) It not only introduced the world to the triumvirate of Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, and Paul Reubens, it introduced this strange and alienated little weirdo to himself.

PICTURE IT! Me: a mere child, tortured and prepubescent, in the wastes of Butte, Montana—pale, hyperactive, and skinny as a nail, weird inside and out. I was dressed, as always, in a relentlessly starched, mercilessly white button-up cotton shirt with gray (or dark gray, occasionally) JC Penney slacks, and (drumroll, please, Danny Elfman!) a slim red clip-on bow tie—my precious, indispensable tie. It was an accessory I cherished more than oxygen or food. I had a wonderful collection of plastic dinosaur models, too, and

T-Rex and Bronto would often accompany me to lunch. Sitting at that lunch counter, my aesthetic and personal resemblance to Pee-wee Herman was so obvious that it bordered on the grotesque. The problem was, he didn’t really exist quite yet. Not that I knew of.

I was all of 9 years old (roughly the same age as that little girl from Poltergeist who stopped pooping and exploded) when I began wearing my little red bow tie—booty inherited from my late and allegedly gay uncle Russell, a grade-school art teacher. He was allegedly the gayest dude ever. (I inherited the dinosaur set from him, too, by the way.) Even at that tender age, I was a loner, a rebel, and I entertained neither heroes nor idols. I barely understood what those words meant. That is, until he came along…

One night, Pee-wee Herman appeared on my parents’ bootleg HBO like my own personal ADHD Jesus. He was jumping up and down and making a noise like a broken Teddy Ruxpin having the best orgasm of all time. It changed my life forever. Who was this

intoxicating fool!? All pale and skinny and flipping out like his toes were on fire? With his just-like-mine bow tie! And his just-like-mine spastic weirdness! I was staring, wide-eyed and awestruck, at what seemed to be nothing less than the manic mirror of my own true, secret soul. I was overwhelmed with something I had never known before: the sense that I was seeing myself reflected in another human being. (Sorry, family!) It gave me hope.

Pee-wee’s Big Adventure was shown on HBO twice a day that summer, and I watched it twice a day. From the first earnest “Tweedletweedle! Boom-bom!” of Danny Elfman’s score (a signature noise that would augment and finally come to plague films for generations to come), I was enraptured with its circus world of Claymation dinosaurs and magic tricks and

primary colors—a petulant child’s toy-box world, where ingenious contraptions flipped the flapjacks and poured the morning cereal, where the furniture was alive sometimes and knew from a quip. Everything about it reflected the weird and secret world that lived inside me—the world I wanted to create for myself outside, too. Oh, to ride my magical bike through the Universal Studios lot, causing mayhem, reckless and free! To go on wild, cross-country goose chases, riding the rails hobo-style, tangling with bikers, cons, ghosts! King of the freaks! Forever young! ALIVE!

Pee-wee became my secret best friend and mentor. His adventures taught me many important things: that violence and intolerance could be bested with a great fucking pair of shoes and some smart dance moves; that putting on women’s clothes can get you through some pretty sticky spots; that when you’re faced with a burning pet shop, save the damn snakes, too. Important life stuff.

Pee-wee grew in me as I grew. Learning to drive at 14 merely afforded me the opportunity to perfect my unblinking impression of Large Marge’s ghost. (“When they finally pulled the driver’s body… from the TWISTED, BURNING wreck…”) Pee-wee’s eye-rolling rebuff of Dottie’s awkward, misguided romantic attentions is another scene that played itself out again and again in my life. (He intimated some gleefully wicked secret: “Things you couldn’t understand, Dottie. Things you SHOULDN’T understand…” Exactly!)

Pee-wee and his big adventure were the blueprints for the boy I was and the freaky man-boy I am. I have never tired of it. At this point, I don’t think it’s possible. And yes, I still have that damn red bow tie. A few, actually. Pee-wee’s Big Adventure will be playing every night from May 31 to June 5 at Central Cinema. I’ll be there every time. I invite you to love it with me again, for the millionth time.

PEE-WEE’S BIG ADVENTURE Ha-ha!
Pee-wee’s Big Adventure dir. Tim Burton Central Cinema

* Denotes Show Is Wheelchair Accessible ^ Denotes An Open Caption Screening AFTER EARTH (PG-13) Fri: (4:40), 7:30*, 9:45 Sat& Sun: (2:15), (4:40), 7:30*, 9:45 Mon: (4:40), 7:30*, 9:45 Tue: (4:40), 7:30*^, 9:45 Wed & Thu: (4:40), 7:30*, 9:45 EPIC (PG) Fri: 4:30*, 7:00, 9:55*Sat: 1:25, 4:30*, 7:00, 9:55*

FILM SHORTS

LIMITED RUN

THE EXPERIMENTAL ANIMATION OF JODIE

MACK

Independent animator Jodie Mack uses collage to explore the relationship between graphic cinema and storytelling in her homemade films. Director in attendance! Northwest Film Forum, Sat June 1 at 8 pm.

THE FIFTH ELEMENT

Luc Besson’s futuristic semi-classic, starring Bruce Willis, the musician Tricky, and love. Presented in HeckleVision on Monday. Central Cinema, Fri-Tues 9 pm.

GHOSTS OF PIRAMIDA

In this documentary, the Danish indie-rock group Efterklang travels to a unique Russian town seeking inspiration. Northwest Film Forum, Sun 7, 9 pm.

GREENWICH VILLAGE: MUSIC THAT DEFINED

A GENERATION

A documentary that focuses on interviews with luminaries of the late ‘60s/early ‘70s Greenwich Village folk scene, including James Taylor, Carly Simon, and Arlo Guthrie. Grand Illusion Cinema, Fri 7 pm, Sat-Sun 5, 7 pm, Mon-Tues 7, 9 pm.

JAVA HEAT

An action thriller set in Indonesia starring Mickey Rourke as a “klepto-terrorist” villain. Grand Illusion Cinema, Fri-Tues 9 pm.

PEE-WEE’S BIG ADVENTURE

See review, page 47. Central Cinema, Fri-Tues 7 pm.

PIERROT LE FOU

As breezy as Breathless but with an undertow of poisonous ennui, Pierrot le Fou is a rendition of the Bonnie and Clyde story told à la française. The bourgeois TV producer Ferdinand (Jean-Paul Belmondo, looking grizzly) and his ex-girlfriend Marianne (Anna Karina in a prim suit) sneak over to Marianne’s flat for a spot of hedonism, which starts off deliciously. But when a mysteriously dead body threatens to spoil their fun, Marianne and Ferdinand hop in a car and pantomime driving to the coast in a car that obviously isn’t going anywhere. It’s a road movie without the road. Presented on 35 mm. (ANNIE WAGNER) Seattle Art Museum, Thurs May 30 at 7:30 pm.

RAW, RAUCOUS, AND SUBLIME: 30 YEARS OF VANESSA RENWICK

Subtitled “An Oregon Department of Kickass

FESTIVE

SIFF WEEK 3: AGENT COOPER EDITION

The 39th Seattle International Film Festival heads into the homestretch with dozens of films worth seeing (see thestranger.com/siff for full info) and one very special event: An Evening with Kyle MacLachlan, wherein the Northwest-native-turned-Hollywood-star submits himself for an onstage Q&A (complete with career-spanning clip reel!), then joins the lucky crowd in watching the 90-minute pilot of the show that gave him his greatest role, David Lynch’s Twin Peaks In advance of the June 3 extravaganza, I chatted up Kyle MacLachlan by phone.

You’ve starred in a number of projects that people will love forever—Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks, Showgirls. When you were making these, did you know that you were making something special and enduring? Every project has its own life. Dune was my first film experience, and I loved it. What’s not to love? I was 23, and it was an amazing thing, going from 99-seat equity-waiver theater at the Empty Space to seven months on location in Mexico City for a huge Hollywood film with a huge international crew and huge expectations. But then with Blue Velvet, we were just kind of off on our own—Dennis, Isabella, Laura, and me, in Wilmington. No one knew how it would all play out. That’s the same with every film, even TV pilots: You expect it to be one thing, then it becomes whatever it is.

Both Blue Velvet and Twin Peaks found you working in David Lynch’s lightly stylized “aw, shucks” manner. Do you remember how you

were directed into it? In Blue Velvet, I was kind of a chip of wood on a river, just going the direction of the river. But for Twin Peaks, I modeled Cooper on David’s idiosyncrasies, how he takes real pleasure in simple things, like a cup of coffee or Douglas fir trees. He’s also—I don’t know how to describe this, but he’s comfortable going into darker places, kind of as an observer, and he helps the actors as they delve into darker places, and makes it okay. You feel like he’s with you. I certainly felt that as Jeffrey [in Blue Velvet]. I had a partner.

Twin Peaks was met with immediate, explosive acclaim. What was that like for you? Did you have any idea what you were unleashing? I remember I was off filming a very forgettable movie, and people were discussing the [Twin Peaks] pilot. Then the phone calls started to come in about how great the pilot was, and suddenly I became aware there was this buzz… so that was kind of fun. Then they screened it at the Museum of Television in New York, and I thought, “This really holds up on the big screen…” That’s when I knew we had something special. An Evening with Kyle MacLachlan is sold out, but standby tickets may be available at the door on Monday, June 3, at SIFF Cinema Uptown The Seattle International Film Festival continues through June 9; info at thestranger.com/siff. (DAVID SCHMADER) Got a film festival you want us to write about? E-mail festive@thestranger.com.

Retrospective,” this evening-length collection of films celebrates the release of the DVD compilation North South East West: All Over the Map with Vanessa Renwick Northwest Film Forum, Fri May 31 at 8 pm.

REMIX

A compilation of remixes curated by Joe Milutis, consisting of “scratch video, mashups, culture jams, subtitle hacks, ‘uncreative’ data, [and] supercuts.” Northwest Film Forum, Tues June 4 at 8 pm.

VENUS AND SERENA

As a documentary, Venus and Serena is nothing special. It has no real vision, no aesthetic program, no depth. It moves from one situation (the Williams sisters as girls, the Williams sisters as housemates, the William sisters as glamorous models, the Williams sisters as controversial icons) with almost with no thought or direction, like a piece of paper in the wind. Despite the documentary’s general stupidity and shallowness, it’s still engaging because, yes, it’s about two of the strangest, most fascinating, most amazing humans who ever entered this side of existence. They came from the ghetto, their father (their coach) is a madman, they have dominated the tennis world for almost two decades. No kind of filmmaking, no matter how bad, could make the Williams sisters uninteresting. (CHARLES MUDEDE) Northwest Film Forum, Wed-Thurs, Sat-Tues 7, 9 pm.

WAXIE MOON IN FALLEN JEWEL

Wes Hurley’s goofy, campy, and local-star-packed comedy continues its once-a-month screening at Central Cinema. Central Cinema, Thurs May 30 at 8 pm.

WITHIN REACH

A documentary about one conscientious couple’s journey to cycle across the country in search of a sustainable community. Director in attendance. Northwest Film Forum, Mon June 3 at 7 pm.

NOW PLAYING

THE GREAT GATSBY

Tobey Maguire stars as the creepy Nick Carraway, the passive voyeur who lives to tell the tale. He inserts himself into the relationship of Daisy Buchanan (Carey Mulligan) and Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio) with aplomb. Daisy’s husband, Tom (Joel Edgerton), isn’t quite dumb enough to not notice that something’s going on. As in the book, terrible things happen. The one thing that Baz Luhrmann instinctually understands is that The Great Gatsby is packed with creepiness: Carraway leers on the outside, looking in; Gatsby treats Daisy like a human doll; Tom toys with the lives of the poor like a petulant, horny Greek god. If you resign yourself to the inevitable fact that not even half of the book’s intricacies survive the adaptation, you can relax and enjoy what did make it to the screen. And there’s a lot to enjoy. (PAUL CONSTANT)

I TELEVISION TM

TV THAT KILLS

Here’s the problem with reality game shows: The stakes are never high enough! Example: What happens when you’re voted off the island on Survivor? You’re transported to a luxury hotel to wait out the rest of the game, instead of… you know… being dropped into a pit of venomous snakes! Or what about when you’re ejected from American Idol? Sure, they make the crying loser sing one last, humiliating song—but why not simply pick them up with a steam shovel and drop ’em into an Arby’s dumpster? Because that’s what they’ll be eating out of for the rest of their lives

Now say what you will about the Japanese (I only say positive, uplifting things) but HOLY COW PLOP. They are THE… BEST… when it comes to game shows with stakes that are sky-high. There are shows where contestants get run over by rolling stone balls—not Mick or Keith’s, but ACTUAL rolling stone balls! Or they’re forced to climb a slippery pole wearing only underpants (which is a normal day for me… but you get my drift). Or they’re strapped to a catapult, and if their grandmother answers a pop-culture question wrong, the catapult is launched, the clothes are ripped from their bodies (not sure why that happens), and the loser flies 50 feet through the air, screaming, “GRANDMA-MAAAAAAAAAA!!”

That, my friends… is entertainment. That’s why you should check out any Japanese game show import that comes to the US—especially this week’s debut of Exit (Syfy, Tues June 4, 10 pm). Based on the

THE HANGOVER PART III

The Hangover, Part III doesn’t exactly duplicate the plot of the original Hangover, but it doesn’t bring anything much new, either. Doug (Justin Bartha) is kidnapped by a mob boss named Marshall (John Goodman), in order to convince the Wolfpack (Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis) to chase down Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong), who has stolen millions of dollars’ worth of gold bars from Marshall. It gets more implausible from there, with a series of heists and stunts and a chase scene or two, all around Tijuana and Las Vegas. I laughed out loud a couple of times, but mostly I just wanted it to be over. (PAUL CONSTANT)

KON-TIKI

Five men and an accident-prone parrot take to the sea on a handmade raft in this almost ridiculously gorgeous retelling of Thor Heyerdahl’s 1947 expedition, in which he attempted to prove that ancient settlers sailed between Peru and Polynesia. The most expensive film in Norway’s history, this Oscar nominee has beauty to spare, with no shortage of sights aimed at making the viewer’s jaw rebound off of the theater floor. Unfortunately, the lack of any real character development causes the narrative to sputter out quickly, leaving a repetitive cycle of shark sightings and sweet beards. Which isn’t all that bad of a thing, really. (ANDREW WRIGHT)

SCATTER MY ASHES AT BERGDORF’S

Cut with montages and jazzy beats and images of customers drifting among the shiny surfaces, the documentary Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf’s brings a peek behind the closed doors of the legendary New York fashion emporium. Not much is there, it turns out—just some props, some stark white mannequins, and loads of vague facts concerning the store’s legacy, its architecture, its strategic merchandising of collections. Designers and businessmen weigh in, but they’re either too cloistered or too commercially motivated to have any really interesting stories, and style experts describe the allure of shopping. One unexpectedly lively segment profiles balking personal shopper Betty Halbreich: “That’s really terrible. But buy it, because it’s not as terrible as what you came in wearing,” she says to clients. But even she can’t save the film. (MARTI JONJAK)

WHAT MAISIE KNEW

Emotionally honest but not always dramatically successful, this brilliantly cast update of Henry James’ 1897 novel illustrates just how much damage a pair of monstrously selfish parents can wreak on their doe-eyed poppet. Directing team Scott McGehee and David Siegel smartly skip the melodrama and cant everything to a child’s-eye view of profound family dysfunction. Julianne Moore is a fantastically appalling basket case of neurotic egotism. Steve Coogan raises the bar on understated, smarmy self-regard. And yet both are convincingly human. But it’s little Onata Aprile who’ll suck you in. The seven-year-old is a revelation of naive desperation. (JEFF MEYERS)

Japanese show DERO!, contestants team up inside a series of dangerous, inescapable rooms. If they answer questions correctly, they can safely… Exit! If they fail, they also… Exit! (To a seemingly horrible death. Of course, they don’t really die-die; they just end up in a waiting room until the game is over. Why aren’t they actually killed? Probably an insurance thing.)

Anywhoop, what follows are descriptions of some of the terrifying rooms in Exit aaaaand what I’d do to improve them.

Plank Room: The contestants step on planks jutting out from the wall. First the floor disappears, and then for every wrong answer, each plank retracts into the wall, until finally? “AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee!”

(That’s the sound effect for falling into a seemingly endless void.) MY IMPROVEMENT: I’d heat the planks to around 600 degrees Fahrenheit… but otherwise, pretty cool room, bro!

Water Room: The contestants are trapped in a glass room quickly filling with water. For every correct answer, they get to turn off one valve… but if they fail?

“Glub, glub, glub.” (My sound effect for drowning… did you get that?) MY IMPROVEMENT: Sharks improve everything.

Ceiling Room: This one’s pretty simple! Every time they answer a question wrong, the ceiling drops a bit, until they are eventually… “No. NO! OH SWEET GOD, NOOOOOO… splat.” (Getting crushed sound effect.) MY IMPROVEMENT: They sure are wasting a lot of nice chairs and tables that way. I recommend buying from IKEA. Shredder Room: Contestants kneel in a long, low room where a giant shredder slowly moves toward them. Answer wrongly, and… “BuzzzzzzzzSCHOINGGANNNG! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!” (That’s the sound I heard last week when I got my hand stuck inside a running margarita blender.) MY IMPROVEMENT: More margaritas!

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

For the Week of May 29

ARIES (March 21–April 19): Back in the 1920s, the governor of Texas was determined to forbid the teaching of foreign languages in public schools. To bolster her case, she called on the Bible. “If English was good enough for Jesus Christ,” she said, “it’s good enough for us.” She was dead serious. I suspect you may soon have to deal with that kind of garbled thinking, Aries. And it may be impossible to simply ignore it, since the people wielding it may have some influence on your life. So what’s the best way to deal with it? Here’s what I advise: Be amused. Quell your rage. Stay calm. And methodically gather the cool, clear evidence about what is really true.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20): A few weeks ago, the principal at a school in Bellingham, Washington, announced that classes would be canceled the next day. What was his rationale? A big storm, a bomb threat, or an outbreak of sickness? None of the above. He decided to give students and teachers the day off so they could enjoy the beautiful weather that had arrived. I encourage you to make a similar move in the coming days, Taurus. Take an extended Joy Break—maybe several of them. Grant yourself permission to sneak away and indulge in spontaneous celebrations. Be creative as you capitalize profoundly on the gifts that life is offering you.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20): In Japan, it’s not rude to slurp while you eat your ramen noodles out of a bowl. That’s what the Lonely Planet travel guide told me. In fact, some Japanese hosts expect you to make sounds with your mouth; they take it as a sign that you’re enjoying your meal. In that spirit, Gemini, and in accordance with the astrological omens, I encourage you to be as uninhibited as you dare this week—not just when you’re slurping your noodles, but in every situation where you’ve got to express yourself uninhibitedly in order to experience the full potential of the pleasurable opportunities. As one noodle-slurper testified: “How can you possibly get the full flavor if you don’t slurp?”

CANCER (June 21–July 22): Here’s a thought from philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein: “A person will be imprisoned in a room with a door that’s unlocked and opens inwards as long as it does not occur to him to pull rather than push that door.” I’d like to suggest that his description fits you right now, Cancerian. What are you going to do about it? Tell me I’m wrong?

Reflexively agree with me? I’ve got a better idea. Without either accepting or rejecting my proposal, simply adopt a neutral, open-minded attitude and experiment with the possibility. See what happens if you try to pull the door open.

LEO (July 23–Aug 22): If you have been waiting for the right moment to perfect your party skills, I suspect this might be it. Is there anything you can do to lower your inhibitions? Would you at least temporarily consider slipping into a chronic state of fun? Are you prepared to commit yourself to extra amounts of exuberant dancing, ebullient storytelling, and unpredictable playtime? According to my reading of the astrological omens, the cosmos is nudging you in the direction of rabble-rousing revelry.

VIRGO (Aug 23–Sept 22): Where exactly are your power spots, Virgo? Your bed, perhaps, where you rejuvenate and reinvent yourself every night? A place in nature where you feel at peace and at home in the world? A certain building where you consistently make good decisions and initiate effective action? Wherever your power spots are, I advise you to give them extra focus. They are on the verge of serving you even better than they usually do, and you should take steps to ensure that happens. I also advise you to be on the lookout for a new power spot. It’s available.

LIBRA (Sept 23–Oct 22): Reverence is one of the most useful emotions. When you respectfully acknowledge the sublime beauty of something greater than yourself, you do yourself a big favor. You generate authentic humility and sincere gratitude, which are healthy for your body as well as your soul. Please note that reverence is not solely the province of religious people. A biologist may venerate the scientific method. An atheist might experience a devout sense of awe toward geniuses who have bequeathed to us their brilliant ideas. What about you, Libra? What excites your reverence? Now is an excellent time to explore the deeper mysteries of this altered state of consciousness.

SCORPIO (Oct 23–Nov 21): When explorer Ernest Shackleton was planning his expedition to Antarctica in 1914, he placed this ad in London newspapers: “Wanted: For hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success.” Would you respond to a come-on like that if you saw it today? I hope not. It’s true that your sense of adventure is ratcheting up. And I suspect you’re itching for intense engagement with the good kind of darkness that in the past has inspired so much smoldering wisdom. But I believe you can satisfy those yearnings without putting yourself at risk

or suffering severe deprivation.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): “I’d rather not sing than sing quiet,” said the vivacious chanteuse Janis Joplin. Her attitude reminds me a little of Salvador Dali’s. He said, “It is never difficult to paint. It is either easy or impossible.” I suspect you Sagittarians may soon be in either-or states like those. You will want to give everything you’ve got, or else nothing at all. You will either be in the zone, flowing along in a smooth and natural groove, or else totally stuck. Luckily, I suspect that giving it all and being in the zone will predominate.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22–Jan 19): In 1948, Nelson Mandela began his fight to end the system of apartheid in his native South Africa. Eventually, he was arrested for dissident activities and sentenced to life imprisonment. He remained in jail until 1990, when his government bowed to international pressure and freed him. By 1994, apartheid collapsed. Mandela was elected president of his country and won the Nobel Peace Prize. Fast-forward to 2008. Mandela was still considered a terrorist by the United States, and had to get special permission to enter the country. Yikes! You probably don’t have an antiquated rule or obsolescent habit that’s as horrendous as that, Capricorn. But it’s past time for you to dissolve any outdated attachments, even if they’re only mildly repressive and harmful.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): As a renowned artist, photographer, and fashion designer, Karl Lagerfeld has overflowed with creative expression for 50 years. His imagination is weird and fantastic, yet highly practical. He has produced a profusion of flamboyant stuff. “I’m very down-to-earth,” he has said, “just not this earth.” Let’s make that your mantra for the coming weeks, Aquarius: You, too, will be very down-to-earth, in your own unique way. You’ll follow your quirky intuition, but always with the intent of channeling it constructively.

PISCES (Feb 19–March 20): In the following passage, French novelist Georges Perec invites us to renew the way we look upon things that are familiar to us. “What we need to question,” he says, “is bricks, concrete, glass, our table manners, our utensils, our tools, the way we spend our time, our rhythms. To question that which seems to have ceased forever to astonish us.” A meditation like this could nourish and even thrill you, Pisces. I suggest you boost your ability to be sincerely amazed by the small wonders and obvious marvels that you sometimes take for granted.

Homework: Name one of your least useful attitudes: a belief or perspective you know you should live without, but which you haven’t had the courage to banish. Freewillastrology.com

Pike St., Seattle.

MARRAKESH MOROCCAN RESTAURANT in Belltown now hiring exp. Servers and kitchen helper. Evening/ weekends. For more info call (206)9560500, or apply at 2334 2nd Ave.

MCMENAMINS MILL CREEK is now hiring LINE COOKS and SERVERS! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who have prev exp and enjoy working in a busy customer serviceoriented enviro. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-2218749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

RESTAURANT OPEN CALL!

Cinebarre is HIRING all positions, must be 21+ to apply in person. 6009 244th Street Mountlake Terrace, WA 98043

VOLUNTEERS

ATTENTION: UNIVERSITY-OFWASHINGTON-SCHOOL-OF-ART STUDENTS Interested in assisting award-winning gallery? UW credit, graduate school recommendations for weekly four-hour shift, six-month commitment preferred. 206-349-2509.

DO YOU LOVE automobiles? Volunteer at Lemay Americas Car Museum! For information visit our web site: www.LemayMuseum.org or email Volunteer@LeMayMuseum.org.

HANDMADE BEER & Film Tour

7/26/2013 Gas Works Park Volunteers wanted to pour beer and create beer Fun! www.naturec.org/clips-beer-andfilm-tour

VOLUNTEER ON VACATION! We are looking for volunteers interested in event production to help us build Coast West. June 22. Pacific Beach, Washington.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ EXTRA Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-4057619 EXT 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN) ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice,*Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www.CenturaOnline.com (AAN CAN)

ADULT HELP WANTED

ADULT ACTORS WANTED Make

$200-$400/hr in Adult films. Seeking women whom represent Seattle. Punk hipster type unique women. Tattoos and piercings are welcome! 18+ only, serious inquires only. Gay and Lesbian Filmsseattletalentproductions@live.com.

APARTMENTS

FIRST HILL $1,250 Furnished Studio Condo available in First Hill. 1250/mo, includes Water, Electric, & Parking. 560 sqft, controlled access, W/D in unit. Located across the street from Seattle University. On busline; minutes to downtown, hospitals, International District. Call 206 719-4112.

QUEEN ANNE $1,000

1 & 2BD’s. 1BD w/balcony, 2BD with views! Great location, DW, w/s/g included. $1000-$1600/mo. 1000 1st Ave. W. Call (206)286-9488

ROOMMATES

ANGER MANA GEMENT

Is your life out of balance? Perhaps your anger is creating problems. Find Balance Between Body + Soul. Call (206) 427-9796 or Visit www.NutriPsychTherapy.com

NEED SUPPORT AND encouragement to build the life you want?

Compassionate, nonjudgmental adult counseling. Depression, anxiety, self esteem, life transitions, trauma, grief, domestic violence, illness. Build strengths and life skills. Sliding fee, free phone consultations. Available weekends. Call 206-734-7998.

MASSAGE

$45HR FOR MEN 1.5-$65/2hr$85. 18yrs masseur (LMP#MA8718). Relaxing, enjoyable, unhurried, general full-body massage - or get more focused bodywork attention to help relieve problem areas. Www.bodyworkman.com. John Runyan 206.324.0682. 10am-8pm. Cash/incalls only. Last minute encouraged.

DEEP TISSUE AND Relaxation Massage on Capitol Hill. $50.00. Jeff LMP 206-650-0542 swedish, sports, and deep tissue massage. Last minute appointments encouraged. www.broadwaymassage.com 14 years experience. All are welcome. Close to broadway ave. 7 days a week 11:00a.m.-9:00p.m.

DREAMSCAPE MASSAGE / Capitol Hill Enjoy your first massage at Dreamscape with $10.00 off!(New clients only,not valid with gift certificates.) We are located at 619 Broadway Ave. E on Capitol Hill. Please visit our Web site at DreamscapeMassage.com / 206-568-3771

EXCELLENT THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE, since 1994 www.eptribe.com/irene LAURIE’S MASSAGE (206)919-2180

LIKE A JAPANESE Hot Springs - At The Gated Sanctuary you can soak naked outside among soaring cedar trees in jetted hot pools, dip in a cold plunge, and relax with therapeutic massage. Unwind in our eucalyptus steam room. (425)334-6277 www.TheGatedSanctuary.com

RELAXATION, SPORTS, DEEP

MUSIC INSTRUCTION & SERVICES

MUSICIANS AVAILABLE

PIANIST AVAILABLE

I’m Richard Peterson, 64 year old composer, arranger, and pianist. I’m available to play parties, weddings, clubs, shows, etc. $200/gig. Covers and originals. Please call 206-325-5271, Thank You! CD available.

EXPERIENCED LEAD GUITAR Player looking for musicians, bands, etc, who need one.Hardcore Punk, Metal, Rock of all kinds, Math, etc. Looking for something and/or some people who kick ass. http://www. myspace.com/millhouspunkrock http:// www.myspace.com/northamericanbison http://www.myspace.com/beatsenseless http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=WHqBlqlglaY

WE ARE A band who just lost our drummer, and we are looking for someone new! We rent a space in Mukilteo, and some of our influences include; Brand New, Rise Against, Defeater and Title Fight.

MUSICIANS WANTED

ALTERNATIVE HIP-HOP/ELECTRONIC/FUTURE-BEATS PRO-

DUCER seeks creative, original MC for new project. No drama, no guns, no hard drugs, just weed and music. Send demos/mix tapes/inquiried to spectre. sound@gmail.com (soundcloud link appreciated)

DRUMMER WANTED: DEDICATED/ MOTIVATED/RELIABLE. Listen @ www.alkijones.bandcamp.com. Email/ contact: alkijonesmusic@gmail.com.

DRUMS WANTED - blues/rock coverband. Infl: Bonham, Kirk, Baker, etc. Please be pro, hard hitting with lots of exp. 40s+. Call for details 206-7553044 or 206-919-0514

ELECTRONIC MUSICIANS/ PROGRAMMERS/COMPOSERS; CALL ME AT 206-860-3534

camp.com. Email/contact: alkijonesmusic@gmail.com.

WE ARE AN original Hard Rock band in lake Stevens, looking for a drummer. We have venue contacts, and a cd. All we need now is a kick ass drummer. Be experienced, your own gear and transportation. Call John- 425-239-2342

RECORDING/REHEARSAL

BAND REHEARSAL SPACE 1 Shared Room @$210/month Incl. 36hrs/month & Private closet and Private Rooms @ $500/mo. Call 425-445-9165 or Visit wildersoundstudios.com Located in SODO Seattle

NEED INEXPENSIVE PRACTICE space and storage? Why not consider ActivSpace, with us you get a large secure locker/storage for gear (with 24/7 access) and 4 x four-hour rehearsal slots a week, that’s 16 hours of practice a week for just $225 a month. Practice is per-scheduled times, so you will always have the same time each week. Someone just needs to tell the Bass player when to show up! Sorry but we do not have have any private rehearsal rooms. Call Richard at (206) 297-8100 to learn more.

THE HIVE RECORDING Studio: 206-249-8942 band and vocal recording, editing, mixing, and mastering. Work with experienced credited engineers/ producers! Check us out at http://wwwTheHiveRecordingStudio. com

Read bucketloads more (or place your own) online at www.thestranger.com/personals

SEAVIEW BEACH

Thanks again to the country brothers and sister that helped a city brother out of the sand in Seaview. Hope you dug the hash! When: Wednesday, May 22, 2013. Where: The Beach. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919681

CUTE REDHEAD AT TACOMA

CROSS

Seattle boy visiting Tacoma. You have long, straight red hair that you “got from your mom” -- I made sure to tell you it was beautiful. The joint you picked was perfect. Come to Seattle, let’s do cliche stoner things When: Monday, May 20, 2013. Where: Tacoma Cross. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919680

LOWER QUEEN ANNE BRUSH PAST

You were reading Stendhal’s The Red & The Black. Me, Graham Greene. said the realists were depressing. You said you preferred literary fantasy. Coffee? When: Tuesday, May 21, 2013. Where: Lower Queen Anne. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919679

GROOVING ON ROUTE 48

You: Dancing in aisle. Me: Reading anatomy book. We smiled and, spoke briefly. You asked about my book, and while I was trying to find the diagram I’d been pondering, realized you were leaving. Love to know your name. When: Wednesday, May 22, 2013. Where: Route 48. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919678

HOT COP PORT O SUBS

Your arms are the reason t-shirts exist. Keep up the good work. I was the chick in boots and a skull scarf. Eat in a samich. Studying. When: Wednesday, May 22, 2013. Where: port of subs 220th. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919677

FOXY LADY

You smiled. Thats about it, making me crave another interaction, anything; laugh, giggle, glare, disdain. Buried in a book making you smile every other block on the 12. Dark hair/eyes, a fox tattoo, likely taken. Don’t be taken for granted. When: Sunday, May 19, 2013. Where: Bus. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919676

TEDDY’S LAST SATURDAY

A bunch of my co workers were there and I had a great time hanging out with you. Been kicking myself for not asking for your number you hot Minnesotan girl. When: Saturday, May 18, 2013. Where: Teddy’s. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919675

ZOKA

i typed away by the window. wearing grey and a turquoise pendant. you typed away with headphones by the bar. we made brief eye-contact. you look like a young clive owen. when is your next coffee break? When: Tuesday, May 21, 2013. Where: Zoka, Greenlake. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919673

SCIENCE

TALL BOLTBUS HOTTIESEATTLETOPDX

Hot tall boy on the bus to PDX on Friday night. Stunningly tall, jawline that could fell a sequoia, and that hair. We smiled at eachother and you apologized when you woke me up near PDX. Wake me up anytime. When: Friday, May 17, 2013. Where: In Motion. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919661

SANDOR AT ZIGZAG 5/17

SIFF encounter

2 seats away. After your companion stepped out, I leaned over to tell you she’s a lucky girl, with you so attractive. You graciously thanked me and asked what else I planned to see. Care to trade film notes?

When: Friday, May 17, 2013. Where: Egyptian Theatre. You: Man.

MY IPHONE TAKES SHITTY

PICS you thought it was hilarious that my phone takes horrible pictures. We shared a laugh over cocktails You: Blonde with bangin’ bangs. (bangs are in ;) Grab some thai food sometime and can show you my instagram? When: Monday, May 20, 2013. Where: REVEL. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919672

ARTIST&CRAFSTMAN WORK OF ART

You were walking out of the art store at about 1. You: beautiful, dark hair, short beard, gorgeous golden skin, wearing not enough clothes. Me: also beautiful, brown hair, white cardigan, looking like I was at church. Coffee? Drinks? Sex? When: Tuesday, May 21, 2013. Where: artist and craftsman. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919671

DETROIT COBRAS SHOW You were standing behind me, and yeah, was with him, but not really with him. I saw you looking, shouldn’t you take this opportunity to tell me what you were thinking?

HOODIE. COFFEE? You sounded pretty awesome, and we both work for Amazon. I just got out of the Crescent, you were wearing an Amazon hoodie and were crossing the street toward City Market. Coffee sometime? When: Saturday, May 18, 2013. Where: City Market. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919664

SAM AT SAINT GENET enjoyed our chat... want to continue the conversation? S When: Sunday, May 19, 2013. Where: Saint Genet - On the Boards. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919663

BACKROW BLONDE, AFTER WINTER, SPRING We were sitting near the back, exchanging occassional glances. You? Blonde, very nice looking. Married but alone. Me, curious, sitting nearby. Care to talk about the movie? My favorite movie? “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” (Need say more?) When: Sunday, May 19, 2013. Where: SIFF - Harvard Exit. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919662

We met you at ZigZag. Stayed for too many drinks and missed our show, so we went with you to Canon. Forgot to grab your number before running out of the cab, but I wanted to say thank you! When: Friday, May 17, 2013. Where: The Zig Zag. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919658 and couldn’t stop turning around to see if the other was looking. I secretly still look for

SAVAGE LOVE

I’m seeing an amazing guy who I met doing sex work—as in, he was paying me for straight-up sex. It’s not a Pretty Woman situation. He’s my age and not wealthy, and I’m too old for that anyway. We share a lot of geeky interests and have a great connection, and the sex is awesome. When I was seeing him for pay, I would think, “I would totally date this guy.” We transitioned to friends-with-benefits several months back. Then some “I love yous” were exchanged, and now we are in a monogamous relationship. For context, I did independent escorting for about six months while I was in school. (I played up the nerdy-grad-student angle, and that was crazy successful.) I keep thinking that there must be something “wrong” with the way we met, but maybe that’s internalized attitudes toward sex work? Can this work? Everything about our relationship feels positive, but sometimes I think, “Really? Dating your john?” Maybe I just need your okay to feel better.

Thanks for sharing, SLAVE.

Dating My John

You’ve got my okay, DMJ—and Siouxsie Q’s, too.

“People meet their significant others through work all the time,” says Siouxsie, host of The WhoreCast , a weekly podcast about sex work. “But navigating love, sex, and work can be sticky and difficult.”

And when you’re a sex worker, as Siouxsie is and you were, DMJ, internalized shame and social stigma can make a “workplace” relationship stickier and more difficult. “In most of the stories we see about ourselves in the media,” says Siouxsie, “we end up dead, alone, or in service to Richard Gere for eternity. All terrible options. But sex-worker/client relationships occupy a wide spectrum. I have clients who I barely know. I have clients who I feel genuine love, affection, and even attraction for. And while I have never dated a client, it is not unheard of.”

So instead of worrying that you met your boyfriend working, DMJ, Siouxsie suggests that you focus on what’s working about your boyfriend. “It sounds like this guy meets all the criteria for dating a sex worker. He’s not creepy, he’s not trying to ‘save’ you from your work, you have a great connection and great sex,” says Siouxsie. “There is no ‘normal’ relationship or ‘right’ circumstance to meet someone. But when everything feels right and the only thing holding you back is this idea that ‘this could never work,’ you would be foolish not to give it a shot.”

Listen to The WhoreCast at thewhore cast.com and follow Siouxsie on Twitter @Siouxsie _Qxxx.

I think someone asked you a question about me and my amazing Boyfriend. I set up and rerack the weights when we work out. The person who wrote saw me kneel and tie my Boyfriend’s shoe and was wondering what was up. You told the guy to ask my Boyfriend. He hasn’t asked, so my Boyfriend told me to write. You said we were doing some “notnearly-subtle-enough, semipublic Dom/sub” scene, but that’s not accurate. My Boyfriend is dominant and i’m submissive. That much you got right. But we keep things very subtle in public. Observe us closely, and you’ll see signs of my submission. But since we’re not doing anything hardcore in public—no verbal abuse, no hitting, nothing that might be triggering for someone who has been in an abusive relationship (our relationship is not abusive, but we understand that much of what we do looks like abuse to others)—we don’t see why we should have to keep it completely hidden. So, yeah, I tie His shoes. Not because He can’t, but because He likes to make me. And He’s amazing and amazingly hot (pic enclosed), and I’d do anything He asks.

Savage Love Appearance Verifies Everything

I’m a woman in a relationship with an AMAZING guy for eight years. We have great chemistry and are best friends. My man has this fantasy about seeing me fuck his friends. It comes up EVERY SINGLE TIME we have sex. He begs me to call out their names during sex. I love to please him and I find it super-hot. But is this something that he really wants to explore? We never talk about it outside the bedroom. It also makes me feel awkward when we hang out with his friends, because I can’t help thinking about how many times I’ve come while shouting their names. How can I open up this topic without giving him the idea that I actually would let one of his friends bone me? If this was something that he REALLY wanted to do, I’d be willing, but how do I ask him if he thinks about actually doing it?

Please Help Me

Some people will dirty-talk about shit they wanna experience IRL*, ATKS**, and some people will dirty-talk about shit they never wanna experience IRL. But the only person who knows if your boyfriend wants to do this shit IRL is your boyfriend—and he’s not telling, and you’re so worried that he’ll think you actually wanna fuck his friends that you’re not asking. And you don’t wanna fuck his friends… but you would fuck his friends… but only if he wanted you to fuck his friends.

It’s possible that your boyfriend wants to realize these fantasies IRL, PHM, but is so paralyzed by shame that he can’t bring himself to talk about his fantasies when his dick isn’t hard. His own shame may also have led him to misread the fact that you’ve never raised the subject outside the bedroom. He may be thinking, “We talk about it every single time we have sex! But she never brings it up when we’re not having sex, so she must not be into it.”

But it’s just as possible that your boyfriend doesn’t want to realize these fantasies. You’ve spent eight years demonstrating to him that you’re down with his kinks—hell, his kinks are your kinks at this point. So it stands to reason that your boyfriend would’ve asked you to fuck his friends by now if he wanted you to.

So what do you do? Grab a drink with your boyfriend and ask him to talk with you about his kinks. Don’t say, “Hey, do you really want me to fuck your friends? Because I would—I totally would—if that’s what you wanted!” Instead, tell him you want to talk about his fantasies in a general, open-ended way because, hey, healthy couples can talk about their sexual fantasies. Start by telling him what turns you on about these fantasies, PHM, and then ask him what turns him on about them. Hopefully, he’ll open up and you’ll get some clarity about the IRL issue.

But if he can’t bring himself to talk about his fantasies when you aren’t fucking, that means you’re never gonna fuck his friends IRL. Not because he doesn’t want you to—he may— but because realizing these sorts of fantasies requires open, honest, and exhaustive communication. And if he can’t do that (communicate with you), PHM, you can’t do them (his friends).

* In real life.

** As the kids say.

This week on the Savage Lovecast: Is it wise to send someone you just met erotic fiction you wrote about them? At savagelovecast.com.

My new book— American Savage —has been called one of the best books of the summer by Publishers Weekly. It is available now.

mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

JOE NEWTON

Ahh! Time to get *Ahh-thorized*

24/7 Patient Verification

Doctor-Nurse Owned Holistic Center 425.449.9393 or 888.508.5428

AdvancedHolisticHealth.org

Allergy Sufferers Needed Earn $100

PlasmaLab International is seeking individuals with allergies to: foods, molds, trees, weeds, stinging insects or animals to donate plasma for research.

To find out if you qualify visit www.PlasmaLab.com or call our Everett Plasma Collection Center at 425-258-3653.

Be an Egg Donor

Are you a healthy woman in your 20’s who loves to help others, or know someone who is? We would love to talk with you! Generous compensation. Call: 206-515-0042 or email: DonorEggBank@pnwfertility.com

Do you suffer from any of the following?

Facial Acne, Painful Menstrual Cramps, Migraine Headaches, or are you a female that has difficulty with orgasms? Seattle Health and Research is looking for eligible volunteers. Visit www.SeattleHealthandResearch. com to see a list of requirements to participate for each. Or call 206-522-3330 x2

Donate Your Car, Truck or Motorcycle

Support Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound. We offer free pickup of used vehicles in most cases running or not. Tax deductible. (206) 248-5982

FREE CERVICAL CANCER SCREENING

Age: 21+. Volunteers will receive either self-collected at home HPV testing or regular Pap test screening. Up to $200 compensation for study completion. Call 206-543-3327 or e-mail homehpv@uw.edu.

Green Buddha Patient Co-Op

now accepting new qualified patients and providers (206) 297-9640 - www.greenbuddha.us

Get Strong and Live Long, Quantum Martial Arts! 964 Denny Way, Seattle. (206) 322-4799 • Quantumseattle.org

New! Increased Compensation for Egg Donors!

Get paid for giving infertile couples the chance to have a baby. Women 21-31 and in good health are encouraged to apply.

$5,000 compensation.Email Amy.Smith@integramed.com or call (206)301-5000.

NW Cannabis Market

Wednesdays 12-7 & Sat-Sunday 11am-7pm 9640 16th Ave SW Seattle - 360-420-4303

PIANIST AVAILABLE

Clubs, Weddings, Parties

I’m Richard Peterson, 64 year old composer, arranger, and pianist. I’m available to play parties, weddings, clubs, shows, etc. $200/gig. Covers and originals. Please call 206-325-5271, Thank You!

CD available.

Must have piano!

Rain City Medical

Delivers all over Seatle, FREE on Capitol Hill (206) 552-9444 www.raincitymedical.com

SEX OFFENDER REGISTRATION

GOT YOU DOWN?

We may be able to help to remove that requirement. The Meryhew Law Group, PLLC (206)264-1590 www.meryhewlaw.com

Made in USA T–Shirts & Sunglasses.

Run Date: May 30th Seattle, WA

The Pantry Raid~ Cooking Classes Simple Cooking, for Smart People. Cannabis and other cooking classes available. See website for details www.ThePantryRaid.com Volunteer! Hempfest Needs You! It takes 1000 volunteers to produce Hempfest! Join us and make history! HEMPFEST.ORG

Volunteer on Vacation! We are looking for volunteers interested in all aspects of event production to help us build Coast West: A Festival of Art, Music, and Reuse (June 22). Put on your sunglasses, your dogooder pants and spend some time on the Olympic Peninsula FUNdraising with us. Do you volunteer with festivals all the time? Great! Show us what you know. Never helped with a festival before. Come get hands-on experience! Visit www. captainbluebird.com to ask us questions and sign up. See you at the ocean!

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