Welcome to Seattle! Everything you’ve heard about us is wrong.
Much has been said about our little corner of the world. For years, Donald Trump has been painting Seattle as a lawless danger zone where we force everyone to use they/them pronouns and skin rich people alive. The rightwing media has followed suit by doing bogus on-theground reporting from our city streets and editing footage to make it look as though our whole city is a depressing wasteland akin to The Last of Us
(First tip: Don’t call it that.)
If you’re an avid Stranger reader, some of this information will be familiar, as it’s compiled over years of coverage and previous issues of How to Seattle. Jump around—look for and do all the new things that appeal to you! But if you’re new in town, a tourist looking to make the most of a long weekend, or a person who just learned how to read (congratulations!), you’d be smart to start your journey by poring over every page and soaking up all our hardearned, heavily researched recommendations.
“One of the most ethereal experiences I have had in the Pacific Northwest...Please do yourself a favor and come here.”
–Recent Vistor, Google Reviews
Don’t believe what the conservative mainstream media wants you to believe: Seattle can actually be a really beautiful, welcoming place. The air smells nice, we produce some very cool weirdos, and our nature is Lord of the Rings- level stunning; we here at The Stranger love this place with a capital L-OV-E. And we want you to love it, too.
That’s why, for the past few years, we’ve been compiling this guide to the city, How to Seattle, a Stranger digest of sorts, featuring so many of our favorite things to do, eat, see, and hear right here in Seatown.
We’ve also included little checklists at the end of each section so you can keep track of your progress. If you’re up for the challenge, fi nd out how Seattle you are with our worksheet in the back! It’s like homework, but fun. Because while most of what they’ve said about us is oh so wrong, some people have gotten it right. We are pretty nerdy here. We do love books; we think learning is cool. But we’d never eat the rich... a lot of us are vegans or vegetarians.
See you out there, Your Friends at The Stranger
Belltown
Queen Anne/Uptown
Ballard
KNOWN FOR: A mix of classic, seagoing, Scandinavian Seattle with hipster breweries and upscale bars. CHECK OUT: The huge Sunday Ballard Farmers Market, the Nordic Museum, the fish ladders at the Ballard Locks, and sunsets at Golden Gardens Park.
KNOWN FOR: Old, beautiful homes on Queen Anne Hill, stairs (so many stairs), and proximity to the Space Needle. CHECK OUT: A stunning view of the skyline from Kerry Park, art-house movies at SIFF Cinema Uptown, and Seattle Kraken and Seattle Storm games at Climate Pledge Arena.
Seattle Center
KNOWN FOR: The Space Needle and the monorail. CHECK OUT: Nirvana and horror film exhibits at the Museum of Pop Culture, the Chihuly Garden and Glass museum, live music at the Vera Project, radio station KEXP, local food in the Armory, and Pacific Northwest Ballet and Seattle Opera performances.
KNOWN FOR: Trendy bars, shops, clubs, and restaurants. CHECK OUT: Art installations and Puget Sound views from the Olympic Sculpture Park, live music and comedy at the Crocodile, and bars like Shorty’s (with a pinball arcade) and the James Beard Awardnominated speakeasy Phởcific Standard Time.
Downtown
KNOWN FOR: Being declared “dead” by mainstream media, skyscraper office buildings, and proximity to Pike Place Market. CHECK OUT: The architectural gem of the Central Library, the Seattle Art Museum, the view from the 40th floor of the Columbia Center (tickets required), art space Base Camp Studios, and Pike Place Market.
Waterfront
KNOWN FOR: Tourists and seafood restaurants. CHECK OUT: The Seattle Great Wheel, the family-friendly Seattle Aquarium, and the quirky Ye Olde Curiosity Shop.
Bainbridge Island
KNOWN FOR: Easy day trips on the ferry for a taste of smalltown, laid-back life. CHECK OUT: James Beard Award finalist Hitchcock, the Bainbridge Island Museum of Art, and the 150-acre Bloedel Reserve garden.
West Seattle
KNOWN FOR: Its relaxed, beachy vibe and being hard to get to, except by riding the water taxi. CHECK OUT: Alki Beach Park, the view from Hawaiian-Korean taco joint Marination Ma Kai (get the Sexy Tofu Tacos!), and in-store performances at Easy Street Records.
Fremont
KNOWN FOR: Referring to itself as the Center of the Universe, lots of hippies, and the Solstice Parade / naked bike ride in June. CHECK OUT: Public art like the Fremont Troll and the Statue of Lenin (which is actually privately owned, but shh), the nearly 20-mile Burke-Gilman Trail through the city, and year-round flea market goodies at the Fremont Sunday Market.
Wallingford/Green Lake/Phinney Ridge
KNOWN FOR: Residential neighborhoods with cute shops and restaurants, and easy access to the outdoors. CHECK OUT: Gas Works Park on Lake Union, the Archie McPhee joke shop in Wallingford, the trail around Green Lake Park, and the summer concert series at the Woodland Park Zoo.
University District
KNOWN FOR: The sprawling, Gothic University of Washington campus, and vintage shops and cheap restaurants along University Way (known as “the Ave”). CHECK OUT: The Henry Art Gallery and Burke Museum of Natural History and Culture, the impressive University Book Store, handmade noodles at Xi’an Noodles, and live music at Neptune Theatre.
Pioneer Square
South Lake Union
KNOWN FOR: Amazon’s headquarters, waterfront bars and restaurants, and houseboats. CHECK OUT: The plant-filled Amazon Spheres, the Museum of History & Industry, the street food-filled South Lake Union Saturday Market, and rowboat rentals from the Center for Wooden Boats.
Capitol Hill
KNOWN FOR: Bars and music venues that come alive at night, rainbow-painted crosswalks and gay bars, and The Stranger ’s offices! CHECK OUT: The cedarshelved Elliott Bay Book Company, the trendy shops, bars, and restaurants at Chophouse Row, live music at Neumos, and walks in Volunteer Park.
KNOWN FOR: Being Seattle’s oldest neighborhood, plus brick buildings housing art galleries and restaurants. CHECK OUT: The Underground Tour, the monthly First Thursday art walk, the Smith Tower observatory, and the Waterfall Garden Park and Occidental Park.
Central District
KNOWN FOR: Its history as the hub of the city’s African American community and close proximity to Lake Washington. CHECK OUT: The Northwest African American Museum, Ethiopian restaurants like Meskel and Cafe Selam, and classic movies with table service at Central Cinema.
Chinatown-International District
KNOWN FOR: Amazing Asian American cuisine and cultural institutions including Bruce Lee’s favorite restaurant. CHECK OUT: The Asian supermarket Uwajimaya, the Wing Luke Museum, Fuji Bakery, and the drool-worthy Dough Zone Dumpling House.
SoDo/Georgetown
KNOWN FOR: An industrial background, and T-Mobile Park (where the Mariners play) and Lumen Field (where the Sounders, OL Reign, and the Seahawks play). CHECK OUT: The Fantagraphics Bookstore & Gallery, the Hat ’n’ Boots sculptures at Oxbow Park, and the factory where Obama’s favorite Fran’s Chocolates are made.
Columbia City & Beacon Hill
KNOWN FOR: Having wonderfully diverse communities with great food and music. CHECK OUT: The James Beard Award semifinalist Columbia City Bakery, community coffee shop the Station, and live music at the Royal Room and Clock-Out Lounge (both of which have excellent food, too).
Here’s something you might not expect to read in an alt-newspaper run by cynical assholes: Many of Seattle’s well-known attractions and stereotypical “tourist traps” are worth visiting at least once. Pike Place Market, the Space Needle, Smith Tower, the Seattle Underground... sure, they’re often crawling with bumbling out-oftowners, but they’re also packed with history, offering context to this strange little world we’ve created in the upper left corner of America. (For example, did you know how much of Seattle was built on sex work? Google Lou Graham and get a head start on your homework.)
ATTRACTIONS & LANDMARKS
Welcome to Our Weird Little Corner of the Country
Some of the sticky substances on Seattle’s GUM WALL have been there since the ’90s. That gum might be older than you!
Play Paintball at Gas Works Park
WALLINGFORD
Just kidding. You can’t play paintball at Gas Works Park. 10 Things I Hate About You lied, and that heartwarming montage of Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger’s date was just movie magic. It’s still worth a visit, though! The waterfront park was once home to the Seattle Gas Light Company, and much of the defunct gasification plant still stands today. It’s cool! You’ll feel like you’re in a Tim Burton movie. There are also dreamy views of Lake Union and the city skyline, rolling green hills perfect for picnicking, and the occasional concert. Just stay off the gas towers! People have died or been seriously injured after falling from the eroding equipment. MEGAN SELING
Have a Picnic at the Hat ’n’ Boots
GEORGETOWN
Eating a sandwich under, or near, the largest hat and boots in America is a simple joy. Back in the ’50s, the Hat ’n’ Boots roadside attraction served as the respective office and restrooms of the state’s most successful gas station. Business boomed until I-5 siphoned traffic from the Georgetown neighborhood, and it closed in 1988. The giant accessories would’ve been erased from the face of the earth if passionate neighborhood residents hadn’t wrangled the funds to save, restore, and relocate the iconic structures to Oxbow Park in 2003. It’s a really big hat! Giddy up! VIVAN McCALL
Gaze at the Stars with Volunteer Park’s Telescope Club
CAPITOL HILL
Volunteer Park, built by the famous Olmsted Brothers at the turn of the century (the 20th century, that is), is one of Seattle’s most popular parks. There you’ll find the Seattle Asian Art Museum, the Volunteer Park Conservatory, a water tower (just 107 steps to the top!), and lovely gardens. It’s there, in front of the museum, where the city’s impromptu telescope gang gathers on clear nights, inviting passersby to take a closer look at the stars… and the moon and comets and planets and galaxies and nebulae and whatever other intergalactic sights are visible at the time. You can chance it and
hope you come across them on a cloudless evening, or you can email VolunteerParkTelescopesEmail@gmail.com to get added to their mailing list. I love that our city is full of kind, curious people who just want to share their passions with others, no strings attached. MEGAN SELING
Get Dizzy on the Space Needle’s Glass Floor
SEATTLE CENTER
“It’s a tourist trap!” they cry. “What a waste of money!” they shout. Ignore the haters. Whether you’re in town for the weekend or a lifelong Seattleite, it’s worth taking a trip to the top of the Space Needle at least once in your life. The 605-foot-tall attraction was built for the 1962 World’s Fair, but it underwent a massive renovation in 2017 and now features a disorientingly awesome (awesomely disorienting?) rotating, all-glass floor. You can stand on it or sit on it or lay on it belly down to feel like you’re
Take in one of the most spectacular views of Seattle’s skyline from the deck of a WASHINGTON STATE FERRY
(very slowly) flying above the Seattle Center. One floor above that is an all-glass observation deck that offers one of the best views in the city. MEGAN SELING
Snap a Pic of the ‘Singles’ Building
CAPITOL HILL
If you live in Seattle and haven’t seen the seminal 1992 Cameron Crowe classic Singles, I insist that you amend this grievance posthaste (preferably by renting it from Scarecrow Video). The movie is a rom-com set in the golden age of grunge, featuring multiple storylines about lovelorn locals living in a single apartment block and accompanied by a soundtrack of artists like Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden. Their building, which advertises “Singles” (as in one-bedroom apartments) for rent, serves as the fulcrum of the film, and you can still see it today— it’s actually the Coryell Court apartment building on Capitol Hill, located at the corner of 19th and East Thomas Avenue.
I still get a little thrill every time I pass it. Bear in mind that tenants live there, so please be mindful of their privacy and keep a respectful distance. JULIANNE BELL
Get High and Go to the Seattle Aquarium WATERFRONT
One day, when I was feeling particularly depressed and burnt out, I decided to realize my dream of living out the Reductress headline “Stoned Woman
Eating Pretzel Bread at Aquarium Has No Need for God or Money.” Just as I’d suspected, a little herbal enhancement transformed my grown-up field trip into a transcendent experience—I got to learn about the resident harbor seals, witness frolicking sea otters, coo over puffins, and prod sea anemones in a touch tank. The highlight was gazing at undulating jellyfish in an illuminated tank, which I truly could have done for hours in my altered state. I highly recommend this entire outing as a salve for the melancholy soul. Plus, it’s a
Braving one of Seattle’s UNDERGROUND TOURS?
Watch out for zombie spiders as seen in The Last of Us. They’re real.
little-known fact that you can book free tickets to the Seattle Aquarium through the Seattle Public Library and King County Library, so with some planning, this low-lift excursion was also completely free. JULIANNE BELL
Brunch with Literal Bears at Woodland Park Zoo
PHINNEY RIDGE
What do you do when you’ve exhausted all of the city’s best brunch options? You’ve had your fill of dutch babies, you’ve drunk dry the few spots that do bottomless mimosas, and, despite eating all the huevos rancheros (in this economy!?), you still feel… empty. Well, don’t worry. Seattle’s Woodland Park Zoo has put together a Grazing at the Zoo series where you can have pancakes at the penguin exhibit, sip afternoon tea and munch on little cakes in a pollinator garden, and brunch with bears. If you aren’t picky about your dining companions, join the zoo’s brunch
club, where you can have eggs Benedict with different beasts depending on the date. NATHALIE GRAHAM
See Where That Person Got Abducted in ‘Malignant’
PIONEER SQUARE
There is nothing quite like taking a pilgrimage to pay respect to an iconic horror destination right here within the city. No, not The Ring remake. I’m talking about where the one tour guide was abducted in Malignant. You know, the Seattle-set film that was absolutely not filmed here yet is still one of the most bonkers to ever pretend to? If you’re unfamiliar, the film features a key scene where a character is taken while cleaning up from an underground tour. The real tour in Seattle, Bill Speidel’s Underground Tour, is nothing like how it appeared onscreen; it’s actually much more useful for understanding the true and complicated history of this place. But hey, you can
flying fish. A gimmick? Sure. But it’s pretty damn cool to watch the fishmongers throw fish orders back and forth to each other to be bagged up and rung up for customers. And if you’re lucky, you might see celebrities, including Bruce Springsteen, Chelsea Handler, or any number of local professional athletes fielding a fish for fans. RACHEL STEVENS
Ride a Ferry WATERFRONT
Every local has their preferred view of Seattle’s skyline. Some swear by Kerry Park on Queen Anne; others insist on Alki Beach in West Seattle. Personally, my favorite view is the one you see while standing on the deck of a Washington State Ferry as it pulls away from Colman Dock downtown. Walk, bike, or drive onto a boat headed to Bremerton or Bainbridge Island—both have charming little city centers within walking distance from their respective landings—and grab a spot on the outside deck on the backside. It will be windy, it will probably be cold, but the air is crisp and salty and the view is incredible. You will see the whole skyline, from the Space Needle to Mount Rainier, stretching out across the horizon. Breathe it in. Then, as the city fades into the distance, warm up inside with a too-hot cup of hot chocolate from a vending machine that looks like it’s been there since the ’80s. MEGAN SELING
always imagine there’s a terrifying figure lurking in the darkness that’s just waiting for its moment to strike. And watch out for the zombie spiders as seen in Last of Us! They’re real, and they’re shuffling around down there, too. CHASE HUTCHINSON
Duck Under Flying Fish at the Pike Place Market
PIKE PLACE MARKET
Visiting Pike Place Market may be one of the most stereotypical Seattle things you could do, but that place is legit magic, and full of tourists and locals alike. (Never call it “Pike’s Place” unless you wanna get run out of town.) There are 500 vendors, so every stop can be a new experience, but on your first trip, prioritize two things: fresh flowers and fresh fish. The flowers, sourced from local farms, are unbelievably beautiful, and the huge bouquets are a bargain compared to florist shops or even grocery stores. Just beyond the rows of flowers, you’ll find the famous
Take Shelter at the Gum Wall
PIKE PLACE MARKET
While we might not know who put the first piece of colorful, chewed-up goop along Post Alley’s now-saliva-encrusted bricks, we do know that adding your gum to Seattle’s iconic Gum Wall could be the key to saving the city. Tucked alongside Pike Place Market is a tunnel-like passageway covered in chewed-up gum dating back to the 1990s. (The City did try to clean the wall once, in 2015, and removed more than 2,350 pounds of gum, but surely they missed some of the early bits, right?) Grab a pack of your favorite flavor and head on down to become a part of Seattle’s most disturbing wallpaper. Perhaps when the Big One hits—because it’s coming—there might be enough of the sticky substance to stop the city from splitting in two... just make sure to wash your hands after. NICO SWENSON
Baptize yourself in the waters of the INTERNATIONAL FOUNTAIN at the Seattle Center.
Get Soaked—or Don’t!—at the International Fountain
SEATTLE CENTER
You haven’t truly been to Seattle until you’ve been baptized in the waters of the International Fountain at the Seattle Center on a barely hot enough summer’s day. Built in 1961 for the World’s Fair, the fountain—which cycles through water shows set to music between 10 am and 9 pm—is a prime place to soak up the sun, dare your friends to touch the metal dome without getting drenched by unpredictable water cannons, or watch kids of all ages experience the purest forms of surprise and delight. It’s free, it’s fun, it’s in the shadow of the Space Needle, and it’s a lifelong challenge—I have never once touched the dome without getting absolutely soaked, though to my
intense chagrin, I have watched a cocky teenager walk backward to the fountain’s heart with nary a drop. I’ll get you one day, fountain... SHANNON
LUBETICH
Go Troll Hunting
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Under the famous, almost 3,000-foot-long Aurora Bridge sits Seattle’s most famous troll. (Several other not-so-famous ones live in The Stranger’s online comments section—har har.) A few fun facts: The Fremont Troll was installed in 1990, it weighs 13,000 pounds, and it was yet one more local filming location for the 1999 teen rom-com 10 Things I Hate About You. For years, the Volkswagen-eating beast ruled the region, but recently Seattle has seen a troll resurgence. Buoy, the Seattle Kraken’s grunge-loving blue-haired mascot, moved into the Climate Pledge Arena in 2022, and more recently five of artist Thomas Dambo’s giant wooden trolls—they’re anywhere from 15 to 30 feet tall—have taken up residence in Ballard, West Seattle, Issaquah, Bainbridge Island, and Vashon Island. Try to spot them all!
MEGAN SELING
Dance—and Drink, and Eat, and Party— in
PIONEER SQUARE
After a revamping in 2021, Pioneer Square’s iconic Smith Tower now has all kinds of cool shit going on, including its actually very good lounge, the Smith Tower Observatory Bar. They do movie nights in the Orcas Room, historic talking
tours, DJ nights in the summer on the 22nd-floor lookout, and there’s a scary sky cage ringing around the entirety of the 35th floor, and you can get drunk and walk around in it! They also offer cocktail classes that are, at $125 a pop, admittedly not cheap, but you each get three cocktails and a complimentary glass of bubbly, and you get to stuff your face interminably on a fancy charcuterie station with kiwi and capicola and about nine kinds of cheese. It’s a whole city’s worth of fun events packed into a single neoclassical skyscraper.
Visit
a
MEG VAN HUYGEN
Cool Building Featured on the Buildings of Seattle Instagram Account
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Buildings of Seattle is one of the best things to happen on Instagram. Founder Keith Cote created the account at the beginning of the pandemic, and he posts detailed but compressed descriptions of the homes, apartment buildings, and towers of our city. I did not know there was so much to say about Seattle’s
architecture until I read the steady and never-disappointing stream of information on this feed of photos and words written in a style that is as informative as it is charming. It’s also noteworthy that Cote is not part of a movement, nor does he take sides with one architectural style over another. He only writes about what catches his eye during one of his many long walks around the city. Scroll through his Instagram feed, find a building that catches your eye, and read up on its history while paying it a visit.
CHARLES MUDEDE
Say Hi to Dave Matthews
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
That’s right, the patron saint of dad rock walks among us. I first learned this fact in second grade when my teacher told us that her favorite singer, Dave Matthews, was her next-door neighbor. Years later, I was playing at the park with my little sister when Matthews and his kids arrived. I heard my dad say, “Wow, you look a lot like Dave Matthews!” and Matthews responded, “Well, I am Dave Matthews!” I won’t disclose his address, but trust me—if you spend enough time near the Woodland Park Zoo, you will inevitably “Crash” into him.
❑ (Don’t) Play Paintball at Gas Works Park
❑ Have a Picnic at the Hat ’n’ Boots
❑ Gaze at the Stars with Volunteer Park’s Telescope Club
❑ Get Dizzy on the Space Needle’s Glass Floor
❑ Snap a Pic of the ‘Singles’ Building
❑ Get High and Go to the Seattle Aquarium
Think you know how to Seattle? Mark off every task you’ve completed at the end of each section. Then turn to page 74 to see how you stack up!
AUDREY VANN
❑ Brunch with Literal Bears at Woodland Park Zoo
❑ See Where That Person Got Abducted in ‘Malignant’
❑ Duck Under Flying Fish at the Pike Place Market
❑ Ride a Ferry
❑ Take Shelter at the Gum Wall
❑ Get Soaked—or Don’t!—at the International Fountain
❑ Go Troll Hunting
❑ Dance—and Drink, and Eat, and Party—in a Neoclassical Skyscraper
❑ Visit a Cool Building Featured on the Buildings of Seattle Instagram Account
❑ Say Hi to Dave Matthews
DIA DIPASUPIL/GETTY IMAGES
The famous CHOCOLATE POPCORN served at SIFF Cinema Downtown makes the whole building smell like hot Cocoa Puffs. Get a 50/50 mix of chocolate and buttered!
ARTS & CULTURE
Where to Find Pop Surrealism, Experimental Dance, and the Best Popcorn You’ll Ever Eat at a Movie Theater
Artists here aren’t afraid to get a little weird, to take risks, to forgo the formal process of getting their work in museums and instead wheatpaste it right onto the city’s walls, spray paint it under freeway overpasses, or stick it to the back of No Parking signs. (Graffiti and stickers are art!) Which isn’t to say we don’t have contemporary fine artists. We do! But much of Seattle’s art scene is rich with wit, humor, playfulness, and schadenfreude (we love to dunk on billionaires as often as possible). Many of our contemporary galleries have embraced a less stuffy way of operating, too—our art spaces, and the work they show, are often immersive and interactive. They invite you to join in—to explore, touch, contemplate, laugh, and, in at least two instances, scream your face off.
Ninety-eight percent of the books stocked at CHARLIE’S QUEER BOOKS are written by queer authors.
Teleport to Tariqa Waters’s World at Seattle Art Museum
DOWNTOWN
Tariqa Waters is a Seattle-based contemporary artist—painter, sculptor, and glass-blower—and the founding owner of the Martyr Sauce Pop Art Museum and Gallery in Pioneer Square. For Venus Is Missing, her first-ever solo exhibition at the Seattle Art Museum (on view through January 5, 2026), she combines all her talents to take on a “high-stakes mission,” plumbing depths of vulnerability with a sleek pink rocket ship and a larger-thanlife, technicolor aesthetic. The 2023 Betty Bowen Award winner journeys “through the cosmic void, traversing the realms of what once existed and what will forever remain out of reach,” wielding blown-glass ball barrettes. Hop aboard. (Read our interview with Tariqa Waters at thestranger. com!)
LINDSAY COSTELLO
Bask in the Radical Beauty of Ai Weiwei’s
‘Water Lilies’ at Seattle Asian Art Museum
CAPITOL HILL
Ai Weiwei’s work thinks big—big politics, big history, big issues, big materials—and the Seattle Art Museum retrospective, which shows through September 7, is
the largest the United States has ever seen, occupying not only the downtown museum, but also the Seattle Asian Art Museum and the Olympic Sculpture Park. At the SAAM (through March 15, 2026), you’ll find Ai’s largest Lego piece to date, Water Lilies, which is a larger-than-life interpretation of Claude Monet’s Water Lilies #1 consisting of 650,000 Lego studs. (This will be the first time it’s displayed in the US.) In Water Lilies, we have the meeting point of several elements that appear to be unrelated. One is the Lego itself, a construction toy made by the Danish industrial corporation the Lego Group. Then there is the reference to the French artist Monet. But where is the Chinese in all of this? It’s actually found in a strange opening on the right side of the 50-foot-long work. This, according to the Smithsonian, “is a door to an underground dugout [that the Ai] family lived in” during an exile imposed by Mao Zedong’s party. This is how Ai remixes our globalized culture. CHARLES MUDEDE
Choose Your Own Seattle Bookstore Adventure
VARIOUS LOCATIONS
Seattle is a UNESCO City of Literature and, according to the latest report, there are more than 50 bookstores in the region. That’s too many to name here,
some rich executive wanted a tax write-off to further fill their pockets. Since 1988, the beloved video store has been celebrating and preserving physical media so the works we love aren’t lost to time. Their library of movies—the title count at press time was 151,539 (up 3k from last year!)—is truly unlike anywhere else in the world. Just wandering through the many sections, both upstairs and down, is like being taken into a utopia of cinema preservation where you can find just about anything ever made, and it’s all available to rent or buy. Don’t live nearby? They also have a rent-by-mail service, allowing US residents to borrow up to six discs for 14 days at a time.
CHASE HUTCHINSON
Don’t Kick the Pigeons at Pioneer Square’s First Thursday Art Walk
PIONEER
SQUARE
and honestly, it would be an insult to try. But to help narrow it down at least a little bit, here are a few Stranger faves: Elliott Bay Book Company has been around, in some form or another, since 1973. Their current space on Capitol Hill feels like a warm, creaky treehouse, and they have a cafe and author events almost every day of the week. Fantagraphics Bookstore and Gallery in Georgetown is a must-visit if you love alternative comics and graphic novels. Newer indie shops on the scene include Charlie’s Queer Books in Fremont, where 98 percent of the books are written by queer-identifying authors, and Mam’s Books in the Chinatown-International District, which stocks books by Asian American authors. Looking for anarchist literature? Left Bank. Rare books? Arundel. Poetry? Open Books. Cookbooks? Book Larder. Love cats? Twice Sold Tales—they have several. And we’d be remiss not to mention the University Book Store, Third Place Books, and Phoenix Comics. Get out there and find your favorite. MEGAN SELING
Geek Out Over Physical Media at Scarecrow Video
UNIVERSITY DISTRICT
Scarecrow Video is fighting the good fight in this nightmare world of streaming, where movies can be erased from the cloud at the touch of a button because
Once a month, Seattleites flock to the streets in Pioneer Square for a chance to stroll, sip on booze, and attend as many art openings as possible at First Thursday. It’s the city’s central and oldest art walk and takes place in a historic neighborhood known for its abundance of galleries. Free wine, cheese, and hobnobbing steal the scene for some, but at its core, it’s an impressive communal unveiling of new artwork. A few favorites include Greg Kucera Gallery, J. Rinehart Gallery, Stonington Gallery, SOIL, Koplin Del Rio, and RailSpur, a “micro-district” specializing in contemporary pop art. A warning to firsttimers: Pioneer Square’s pigeons DO NOT GIVE A FUCK. Those dummies prioritize whatever garbage they’re pecking at over their safety, and they have, through generations of pigeon evolution, adapted to humans walking around them. Watch where you step.
STRANGER STAFF
Soak in Seattle’s History at the Duwamish Longhouse and Cultural Center
NORTH DELRIDGE
The history of the Duwamish people is the history of Seattle, and it’s an essential one. Duwamish Tribal Services, which has fought for the Duwamish people to be recognized as a tribe at both federal and state levels for decades, runs the Duwamish Longhouse and Cultural Center at the mouth of the Duwamish River in South Seattle. The space was a
BROOKE FITTS
Visit level 10 of the CENTRAL LIBRARY, the highest public viewpoint in the building, to see artwork from Yamamoto and Okada.
collaboration between the Duwamish and architect Byron Barnes of Montana’s Blackfeet tribe in the style of a traditional Puget Salish longhouse. A gathering space, cultural center, and gallery, the Longhouse serves as a hub for the Indigenous community that does incredible work for its members and for the Duwamish River Valley, where Duwamish Tribal Services lead environmental restoration, education initiatives, and so much more.
KATHLEEN TARRANT
Spend a Whole Day Exploring the Central Library
DOWNTOWN
There’s a free museum downtown boasting works by George Tsutakawa, Ann Hamilton, Tony Oursler, Lynne Yamamoto, and Frank Okada, and you can explore it floor by floor with a self-guided tour map. Thing is, the museum is actually Central Library, which is better, in my opinion, because you can leave with free books. Culture!!! If I were you, I’d make a day of it—start on level 1 to scope Tsutakawa and Hamilton’s works, then move up to level 4 for a truly eerie experience on the Red Floor, which is bloodied
with 13 shades of red paint on the walls, ceiling, floors, and stairs. Jump up to level 10, the highest public viewpoint in the library, to spot Yamamoto and Okada pieces among collections of local Seattle history. LINDSAY COSTELLO
Investigate Neukom Vivarium with a Magnifying Glass at Olympic Sculpture Park
BELLTOWN
At the corner of Broad Street and Elliott Avenue in Belltown, a low-lit glass greenhouse shelters a living installation. Mark Dion’s biosystem Neukom Vivarium is built on the foundation of a Western hemlock “nurse log,” a fallen tree from the Green River watershed that now serves as a growing site for young native plants. Sword ferns, deciduous huckleberry, and even spruce trees have sprouted from the log, creating an intricate ecosphere. The entire project emphasizes just how complicated it is to support natural life, and it’s not necessarily meant to evoke warm fuzzies. It’s more of a memento mori work. (Dion told Art21, “This piece
is in some way perverse. It shows that, despite all of our technology and money, when we destroy a natural system, it’s virtually impossible to get it back.”)
LINDSAY COSTELLO
Release Your Demons at the Museum of Pop Culture
SEATTLE CENTER
There are several treasures to see at the Museum of Pop Culture (aka MoPOP). The 14,000-square-foot nerd mecca, designed by Frank Gehry, looks like a pile of Kurt Cobain’s dirty laundry sitting under the Space Needle, and is home to some pretty great music and pop-culture memorabilia including Nirvana: Taking Punk to the Masses, which is the world’s most extensive Nirvana exhibit, and the Science Fiction and Fantasy Hall of Fame. But my favorite spot? The scream booth. Just follow the wall of horror-filled faces to step into Scared to Death, the museum’s long-running horror exhibit. It’s packed with iconic movie props like Freddy’s finger blades, Michael Myers’s mask and rusty knife, Candyman’s hook, and a life-size Xenomorph from Alien. It’s actually very cool! But through the maze
of bloody corpses and past the Walking Dead zombie heads sits the perfect opportunity to scream your fucking face off in the privacy of a soundproof booth. It’s free (with museum admission) to scream as much as you’d like for as long as you’d like. Just shut the door, have a seat, and let out that pent-up frustration. MEGAN SELING
Pay Respects to a Pop Surrealism Landmark BELLTOWN
Kirsten Anderson opened Roq La Rue in 1998 in a rundown Belltown storefront that was slated for demolition. It was right around the time pop surrealism was starting to become popular, and it was the place to see artists such as Femke Hiemstra, Todd Schorr, Mark Ryden, and Jim Woodring. Twenty-seven years later, after setting up shop in Capitol Hill, Pioneer Square, and, most recently, Madison Valley, Anderson has returned to her Belltown roots. The newest incarnation of Roq La Rue opened in March 2025 in a 2,500-square-foot space inside the Northwest Work Lofts on Denny Way, and Anderson continues to fill the walls with modern work from some of the world’s most intriguing pop surrealists. (She
KIM WILKINSON/GETTY IMAGES
literally wrote the book on the subject, fwiw.) I’m especially excited for the 2025 Hi-Fructose Invitational, which hangs from June 13 through August 2. The gallery is open every Friday and Saturday, but the best time to visit is during Belltown’s art walk on the second Friday of every month. MEGAN SELING
Rush a Show at On the Boards
UPTOWN
Going to the city’s home for all things contemporary performance is basically never a bad idea—forward thinkers like Nia-Amina Minor, Anna Luisa Petrisko, Jaha Koo, Will Rawls, and Takahiro Yamamoto have woven liminal narratives there in recent years, and the performance roster is always stacked. With modest beginnings renting space at Washington Hall from then-owners the Sons of Haiti, OtB has expanded into the Behnke Center for Contemporary Performance, its current Uptown location, with consistently sold-out spectacles of improvisational dance, experimental drag, and more. Is a
show sold out? All is not lost! OtB always offers rush tickets—just show up an hour early to get your name on the rush list and they’ll fit in as many folks as they can come showtime. Head there to stretch your perceptions. LINDSAY COSTELLO
Prioritize the Chocolate Popcorn at SIFF Cinema Downtown
DOWNTOWN
Seattle’s Cinerama theater—one of the only Cinerama theaters left in the country—finally reopened its doors in December after abruptly closing in February 2020. Late billionaire Paul Allen famously saved the theater from demolition in the late ’90s and spent millions of bucks restoring it to its mid-century glory. Local film org SIFF bought the theater from Allen’s estate in 2023, and while rights to the Cinerama name were not a part of the sale—hence the new basic bitch moniker— SIFF was at least able to bring back the famous chocolate popcorn, for which Cinerama was loved. It makes the whole
Find Your Inner Pinball Wizard at the Seattle Pinball Museum
CHINATOWN–INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT
Twenty-three bucks gets you unlimited play at the Seattle Pinball Museum, and its 50-plus pins spread the wealth between historical relics, flashy ’80s tables, and the modern-day pinball resurgence. I recommend the rock ‘n’ roll table playlist: Guns N’ Roses, KISS, Wizard! (featuring the Who), and not one but two Elton John tables. The membership-based Northwest Pinball Collective also offers all-ages freeplay nights, so check their calendar for upcoming events. If you’re over 21, you have additional options with arcade bars: Jupiter Bar (Belltown), Shorty’s (Belltown), Corner Pocket (West Seattle), Add-a-Ball (Fremont), and Time Warp (Capitol Hill).
SAM MACHKOVECH
Bliss Out (Or Have an Existential Crisis) in the James Turrell Skyspace at the Henry Art Gallery
UNIVERSITY DISTRICT
theater smell like hot Cocoa Puffs! Get a 50/50 mix of chocolate and buttered popcorn and swear off seeing movies in any other chocolate-popcornless theater again. MEGAN SELING
Get Smarter at Town Hall
FIRST HILL
I’ve lost count of how many events I’ve seen at Town Hall over the years, but one thing I do know: Every time I leave, I leave smarter than when I arrived. Just in April, I heard the brilliant Hanif Abdurraqib discuss poetry, grief, family, and community with beloved Seattle writer Robert Lashley and honestly, I think it made me a better person. Abdurraqib spoke about the importance of having grace for ourselves, for forgiving our former selves for whatever it is we had to do to simply get through. I think about those words often. Town Hall’s spring calendar is stacked with intellectual superstars, too, including Alison Bechdel in May and Ocean Vuong in June. MEGAN SELING
Light Reign was unveiled to the public more than 20 years ago, so if you haven’t spent a few moments meditating in the Henry’s permanent illuminated work, you’re long overdue. Everyone from Quakers to artists and performers have made use of the space, which the light-loving artist James Turrell designed with minimalist bench seating and an aperture-like oculus in the ceiling, revealing a hint of sky. (Though, at the moment, the dome isn’t operational and remains closed.) The Skyspace’s frosted glass perimeter is also programmed with LED lights that shift in color throughout the day. For heightened effect, Light Reign is a piece to form a relationship with—I recommend visiting once a season to see how your experience shifts.
LINDSAY COSTELLO
Catch an Indie Flick at One of Seattle’s Many Art
House Theaters
VARIOUS LOCATIONS
Seattle is truly a bounty of riches if you’re wanting to go see a film that you likely wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else. The Northwest Film Forum (NWFF) has a whole bunch of thoughtful programming,
Seattle is silly with places to play PINBALL, including several bars and a whole pinball museum. (Dibs on the Monster Mash machine.)
MALACARNE, photo by Alina Yang
Blink’s HOT DOG GRAFFITI can be spotted on trains, inside abandoned buildings, and under freeway overpasses.
After checking your teeth for popcorn, check the box for each completed adventure, and add it to your running total on page 74.
❑ Teleport to Tariqa Waters’s World at Seattle Art Museum
❑ Bask in the Radical Beauty of Ai Weiwei’s ‘Water Lilies’ at Seattle Asian Art Museum
❑ Choose Your Own Seattle Bookstore Adventure
❑ Geek Out Over Physical Media at Scarecrow Video
❑ Don’t Kick the Pigeons at Pioneer ❑ Square’s First Thursday Art Walk
❑ Soak in Seattle’s History at the Duwamish Longhouse and Cultural Center
❑ Spend a Whole Day Exploring the Central Library
❑ Investigate Neukom Vivarium with a Magnifying Glass at Olympic Sculpture Park
❑ Release Your Demons at the Museum of Pop Culture
❑ Pay Respects to a Pop Surrealism Landmark
❑ Rush a Show at On the Boards
❑ Prioritize the Chocolate Popcorn at SIFF Cinema Downtown
❑ Get Smarter at Town Hall
films both old and new, and some lovely little theaters in which to experience these exciting cinematic visions. The historic Grand Illusion is currently between locations—they were forced to move from the space they held for more than 50 years after their lease ended in 2024—but they’re hosting pop-up film nights at theaters all over town as they hunt for a new home. Here-After, the smaller theater at the Crocodile complex regularly shows old favorites and the occasional new indie flick, and then there is the Beacon, which also operates with a single screen and boundless imagination, often showing films that fit week- or month-long themes. You truly can’t go wrong with any of these distinct gems.
CHASE
HUTCHINSON
Hunt for Happy Hot Dogs All Over the City
VARIOUS LOCATIONS
His name is Yo Dawg. Or Blink-Dawg. Or Hot Dog Man, Graffiti Weenie, Highway Hot Dog, or Welcome Weiner. Whatever you call him, you’ve likely seen the smiling, dancing, waving banger in a bun throughout the Puget Sound region. He pops up on trains, behind abandoned buildings, and in the shadows of freeway overpasses. Everyone loves Blink’s friendly hot dog graffiti, and I know this because when I started mentioning to friends that I was dedicating my summer to seeking out as many hot dogs as I could, they all enthusiastically exclaimed, “I love that guy!” before offering up their favorite spots. So keep your eyes peeled as you traverse Seattle’s terrain—you never know when the Welcome Weiner will wave hello.
MEGAN SELING
❑ Find Your Inner Pinball Wizard at the Seattle Pinball Museum
❑ Bliss Out (Or Have an Existential Crisis) in the James Turrell Skyspace at the Henry Art Gallery
❑ Catch an Indie Flick at One of Seattle’s Many Art House Theaters
❑ Hunt for Happy Hot Dogs All Over the City
MEGAN SELING
FOOD & DRINK
So Much More Than Burnt Coffee and Dick-Shaped Clams
It’s true that Seattleites can come off as shy at best and emotionally unavailable to a clinical degree at worst. But there is one surefire way to soften our stiff exteriors: food. Something
happens when we convene in the waiting area of a favorite brunch spot or stand in line to buy a hot dog slathered with cream cheese at 2 a.m. We talk to one another. We bond over steaming bowls of phở
and burritos the size of babies and slices of cakes that are so expertly crafted, they’re worth the (rare-inthis-city) 30-plus-minute wait. If you want to find the best version of Seattle, start with really good food.
Every Seattleite has a favorite place to get pho, and where they choose will tell you more about them than any astrology chart ever could. Small local chain Ba Bar is phở for party people. The restaurants are hip and colorful with heated patios and a vast menu of Vietnamese street food-inspired dishes, and the Capitol Hill location is open until midnight daily. Phở Bắc is for the real ones. Their original location on Rainier Avenue has been around since 1982, but they’ve evolved along with Seattle—their more contemporary sister businesses, Phở Bắc Súp Shop, Phởcific Standard Time, and the Boat were nominated for a James Beard Award in 2024. My money is on any Phở Than Brothers location. No frills, no aesthetic to speak of. The only thing that has changed on the menu in decades is the prices. The vegetarian broth is light and flavorful, notably spiced with lemongrass and star anise, and they’ll give you extra broccoli if you ask nicely. Plus: free cream puff! New to pho? Not sure what to do with this Vietnamese noodle soup that comes with loads of accouterments and unspoken instructions? Listen to “Wassup
Pham” by local hip-hop hero Sabzi. “We eat a big bowl, gon’ smell like it all day.” MEGAN SELING
Meet the Metropolitan Market Cookie
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Normally, I chafe at things that smugly proclaim themselves “the” definitive version of something (see: Alison Roman’s “The Stew”), but in this case, Metropolitan Market’s signature cookie, “The Cookie,” has earned its moniker because it really is just that good. Served underbaked and warm from the oven, it’s a marvel of engineering and a true chocolate lover’s cookie, featuring a squidgy dough bound together with not one but two types of melty, luxurious Callebaut Belgian chocolate (both bittersweet and semisweet). Toasted walnuts add crunch, dimension, and a whisper of earthy, nutty bitterness, while a sprinkle of fleur de sel balances all the flavors. It’s the highest calling of a chocolate chip cookie, the apotheosis of Ruth Graves Wakefield’s original Toll House recipe. If I was forced to name a single flaw, it might be that the crinkly paper wrapper suggests it’s suitable for sharing—I tend to disagree.
JULIANNE BELL
GORDITOS: Home of the baby-sized burritos.
Devour a Burrito as Big as a Baby at Gorditos Healthy
Mexican GREENWOOD
I am a lifelong vegetarian, which means that my diet consists primarily of burritos. So, believe me when I say that trying a new burrito place is risky. For one, you never know how big your meal is going to be—I won’t name any names, but I’ve been disappointed by a meek six-inch-tortilla burrito before. That’s why I appreciate the genius marketing that is Gorditos’ “baby burrito.” No, it’s not a burrito made for a baby, but rather a burrito that is the size of an actual infant (see for yourself—the restaurant is plastered in photos of newborns beside their foil-wrapped counterparts). Plus, there are so many vegetarian fillings beyond the standard fajita veggies—tofu, fried potatoes, scrambled eggs, avocado, steamed vegetables... the list goes on! There’s also meat—your choice of chicken, steak, and pork—if you’re into that kind of thing. AUDREY VANN
Deep-Throat a Seattle Dog at 2 a.m. (or Anytime, Really)
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
One might pause before deep-throating a hot dog slathered in cream cheese and
onions at 2 a.m., but if you haven’t had a Seattle Dog, then you’re truly missing out on the best food option for your drunken night out. Concentrated along the curbs of popular nightlife areas like Capitol Hill, these hot dog stands feed the masses in both vegetarian and carnivorous forms. (A couple favorites include Monster Dogs and Dante’s Inferno Dogs.) I can’t guarantee our Northwestern ways won’t upset your stomach, but if we’re all going to die in a giant earthquake, it’s worth checking this delicacy off your bucket list, despite any aftershocks. NICO SWENSON
Order Literally Anything at Fuji Bakery
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Fuji Bakery is the place where any order is right. Their spread is dazzling: sugardusted malasadas overflowing with sweet gobs of matcha or ube cream, crispy chicken katsu or egg salad sandwiches made with fat slices of fresh-baked milk bread, deep golden croissants, custardy canelés, and more. I found Fuji (or Fuji found me) shortly after moving to Seattle three years ago, and in that time, I’ve tried nearly everything without disappointment, but the unassuming milk stick, a plain-looking chewy loaf sliced down the middle and slathered with a pillowy sweet cream filling, has emerged as my favorite.
FUJI BAKERY ’s Crunchy Cream Malasada is famous in this town for good reason.
COURTESY OF FUJI BAKERY
At no fault of Fuji’s, parking at its main bakery in Interbay is unwieldy, but worth braving. If you’re in the Chinatown–International District, check out the walk-up storefront on King Street. VIVIAN McCALL
Gorge on Pastries and Pasta at Bonito
Cafe y Mercadito and Donna’s
CAPITOL HILL
Bonito and Donna’s are delicious neighbors. Culinarily, they have nothing to do with each other, but if you’re in the neighborhood, it would be a shame to visit one and skip the other. The queerand Latino-owned Bonito, the friendliest coffee shop in Capitol Hill, makes a mean cup and stock their pastry case with delectables from Selva Central Goods (get the Puerquito Sandwich, thank me later). As of May, they’re also open for cocktails
The oysters served at TAYLOR SHELLFISH are sourced directly from their own farms.
after 6 p.m. Donna’s is an Italian restaurant for East Coasters who miss a mom and pop joints with red-checked tablecloths. Visually, it’s not that at all, but the food will fool your spirit. The bar will just get you drunk. (Try the Mandarin Hero. It’s like licking a melting dreamsicle off your hand when you were 5.) VIVIAN McCALL
Taste the Original Teriyaki at Toshi’s Teriyaki Grill
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Composed of sticky-sweet glazed chicken thighs, mounds of steamed white rice, and that little cup of crunchy iceberg salad in a creamy sesame sauce, Seattle-style teriyaki is the city’s unofficial comfort food. In 2010, The New York Times declared the local dish the Emerald City equivalent of a Chicago dog. We can thank Toshi Kasahara, who founded Seattle’s first teriyaki
Fuck Starbucks, though—many locals avoid the chain, partly due to their antiworker and union-busting ways. What Monorail Espresso undoubtedly DID coin first is their signature burnt cream latte, and you absolutely must try one if ever you find yourself in the downtown grid before closing time. The recipe for this smooth, custardy, not-too-sweet confection is an ancient Seattle mystery, so we can only guess what elixirs are in there. Suffice it to say that Monorail’s Arabica house roast is strong but never bitter, the foam is like cashmere, and the deep, rich flavors of slightly scorched brown sugar, butter, and toffee will envelop your orbitofrontal cortex for the rest of the day.
MEG VAN HUYGEN
Eat Oysters at Taylor Shellfish
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Our humble city happens to be one of the best places in the world to eat oysters, and it would be a shame not to take advantage of that. The “tide-to-table” retailer Taylor Shellfish has been in the game for five generations and sources the offerings at its oyster bars directly from its own farms daily for maximum freshness. Hit up their happy hour (2 p.m.–4 p.m. at the Capitol Hill location and 3 p.m.–5 p.m. at the Queen Anne and Pioneer Square ones) for $2.25 “oysters du jour.” The resident shuckers are affable and game to explain the finer points of the bivalves of the day to you.
JULIANNE BELL
restaurant in 1976, for that—Kasahara popularized a sweeter, more syrupy style of the Japanese specialty. Find the ubiquitous staple at any of the teriyaki shops dotting the region—a few favorites include Mikou Teriyaki in Georgetown, Choice Deli & Grocery in Ballard, Nasai Teriyaki in the University District, and Teriyaki Madness, which has multiple locations—or make a pilgrimage to Toshi’s Teriyaki Grill in Mill Creek to try the original. JULIANNE BELL
Sip Seattle History at Monorail Espresso
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Monorail Espresso has a plucky Old Seattle vibe and likes to remind people that it was slinging coffee in Seattle “since 1980 B.S. [before Starbucks].” Their origin story is slightly debatable—Charred-bucks actually opened a few blocks away from the first Monorail Espresso cart in 1971.
Pick Your Poison at the Doctor’s Office
CAPITOL HILL
I haven’t met a cocktail I didn’t love at the Doctor’s Office, which is, in my opinion the best cocktail bar, no, bar, in Seattle. Everything is just right. The bartenders are cool and talkative, but not too chatty. The liquor selection is immense (including whiskey, scotch, and gin from the personal collection of reclusive film producer and aviator Howard Hughes), but the price point is on par with other cocktail bars. It’s quiet and intimate, yet I’ve never felt overheard. Literally any cocktail will do, but I think about two drinks at least once a week: the fizziest Suntory Toki highball conceivable and the celery shrub, a non-alcoholic mix of celery juice, apple cider vinegar, and spices left to marinate in the fridge for two days. Like any doctor’s office, you wouldn’t show
COURTESY OF TAYLOR SHELLFISH
up without an appointment. Book on the website, ideally ahead of time. There’s only 12 seats. VIVIAN McCALL
Sit at Bruce Lee’s Table at Tai Tung Chinese Restaurant
CHINATOWN–INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT
Before he was an internationally renowned martial arts superstar, Bruce Lee was just a college kid in Seattle, and his favorite dish was the beef in oyster sauce from Tai Tung—today the city’s oldest Chinese restaurant, founded in 1935. Reportedly, Lee was such a devoted regular that he didn’t even have to order— he’d just sit down at his favorite corner table and the servers would bring him his food. Pay a visit to the local treasure to dine like the “Little Dragon” himself. Charismatic third-generation owner Harry Chan will greet you with a smile, and you’ll see that Lee’s entree of choice is still a banger, swimming in savory-sweet sauce. (He was also a fan of the garlic shrimp, so order that for extra credit.) Follow up your pilgrimage with a visit to the Be Water, My Friend exhibit at Wing Luke Museum—it’s just a block away—to learn more about Lee’s life. JULIANNE
BELL
Try the Nutty Cloud at Aroom
FREMONT
When the world all feels like all too much, one of my favorite “little treat culture” rituals, which you’re welcome to steal, is to book myself a manicure at Urban Nail Box in Fremont, and I always head to the salon’s nearby sibling Aroom Coffee for an iced Vietnamese coffee beforehand. I’m partial to the signature Nutty Cloud, a sweet, refreshing vegan peanut butter iced coffee—don’t knock it till you try it!—but the popular “salty coffee” (phinbrewed coffee with condensed milk and salted cream) and the black sesame latte are also winners. The Aroom space is chic, airy, and modern, but perpetually bustling, so I usually take my coffee to go and sip it while getting my nails done— bliss!
JULIANNE BELL
Split a Slice of Cake at Deep Sea Sugar & Salt
GEORGETOWN
The line for Deep Sea Sugar & Salt cake shop can stretch out the door some days.
Charlie Dunmire’s cake empire lives up to the hype, with a rotating menu of about a dozen different cakes and cupcakes on any given day, and there’s not a single dud in the bunch. You’d be wise to take a friend and split some slices for maximum menu sampling. The lemon layer cake has a tart citrus bite that will tickle your parotids; the s’mores and key lime cakes wear caps of puffy, fluffy meringue with peaks reaching out and just begging to be plucked with a finger. One surprising mainstay is the London Fog. With Earl Grey cake, honey, and Earl Grey syrup, bergamot mascarpone cream, and tangy cream cheese frosting, it sounds like it would be flowery and herbal, right? Somehow, thanks to Dunmire’s wizardry, the combination of
flavors surpasses the expectations of the individual parts, and it tastes like sophisticated Froot Loops. MEGAN SELING
Eat a Bánh Mì While Playing Pool at Billiard Hoang
COLUMBIA CITY
In a tale as old as sapphic time, my first date with my now-girlfriend took place after she flew across the country to meet me. She picked the hallowed Columbia City dive, Billiard Hoang, as the first place she wanted to go after her seven-hour flight, so off we went. The unique establishment is a combination Vietnamese restaurant and pool hall, so we flirted
while pretending to know how to shoot billiards, watching old men play snooker, and dining on bánh mì and bún măng v t (a duck vermicelli noodle soup with bamboo shoots). Date or not, I highly recommend coming here for some soul-filling comfort fare with a side of people-watching. Who knows—you just might find lasting love!
JULIANNE BELL
Crunch
into
the Crisp Burrito at Taco Time
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Taco Time isn’t what it used to be. The once crunchy, piping hot “tater fries” are now stale and lukewarm. Their fish tacos, which I used to think were pretty good for fast food, are now a food poisoning
They say Bruce Lee loved TAI TUNG RESTAURANT ’s beef in oyster sauce and garlic shrimp.
BILLIE WINTER
Will you be one of the lucky fans to catch a Hot Dog from Heaven at T-MOBILE PARK?
hazard (it has happened to me, and it could happen to you, too). That being said, the tried-and-true crisp burrito is still as good as it was in the ’90s, and it lures me back to the drive-thru a few times a year. This burrito, which is really more of a mega taquito, consists of a fried flour tortilla filled with cheese and your choice of protein (I recommend playing it safe and getting pinto beans). There is a Taco Time in nearly every neighborhood of Seattle, so whatever the occasion—lunch break, stoned craving, etc.—the crisp burrito is there for you.
AUDREY VANN
Dominate the 12-Egg Omelette at Beth’s Cafe
GREEN LAKE
If you think you’ve got what it takes to go toe to toe with a truly formidable food challenge, say hello to the famous 12-egg omelette at one of Seattle’s most iconic haunts, Beth’s Cafe. This mountain of a meal is served with all-you-can-eat hash browns and your choice of toast, and it’s so intense that back in 2009, Man v. Food host Adam Richman couldn’t finish the damn thing. Thankfully, they also serve up a more manageable six-egg version, and their late-night weekend hours (they’re open till 4 a.m. Friday and Saturday) provide a perfect end to a night of hard partying. The city’s breakfast options looked bleak when Beth’s was forced to close for more than a year during
the pandemic, but Seattleites rejoiced when the greasy spoon—with its massive meals—reopened in 2023. KEVIN DIERS
Indulge in a Fancy AF Burger at Gainsbourg
GREENWOOD
A great burger is, of course, a core litmus test of a city’s restaurant scene, and Seattle’s got a stacked roster when it comes to burgerball. The MVP among them is in Greenwood, at French-ish bar/ bistro Gainsbourg. The Gainsbourger is equal parts lamb and beef, grilled and served simply on thick brioche with caramelized onion confit, a smear of dijon mustard, and house gherkins on the side, and it is succulent. Everybody knows about this luxurious lamburger because you can get it à la carte during happy hour (all day on Mondays!) for $7, less than half price! But it’s somehow even better with Gainsbourg’s skinny, crisp duck fat frites, accompanied by housemade ketchup and aioli, so if it’s happy hour, tack those guys on. You gotta. And it doesn’t need it, but if you wanna go all out, adding a fried egg and a slice of Gruyère cheese to the Gainsbourger punts this thing into the fricking stratosphere. MEG
VAN HUYGEN
Hunt Down a Pink Cookie
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
The Big Pink Cookie is a Northwest delicacy that has sat in local grocery
stores and on coffee cart counters for as long as I can remember. It’s one of those snacks that is so ubiquitous in Seattle that I suspect the public has stopped noticing. The treat is a crumbly, palm-sized Danish shortbread slathered in pale pink cream cheese frosting and perfumed with almond extract and a dash of cardamom. Are the plastic-wrapped sweets the most delicious cookie in town? No. They can be dry and overly sweet—but I wouldn’t want it any other way! You can find the original Uncle Seth’s Big Pink Cookies at any local grocery store or coffee shop that feels stuck in 1999—Thriftways seem to keep them well stocked, as does the U-District’s Cafe Allegro. This is my plea to you, Seattle, to honor our regional treat.
AUDREY VANN
Crunch into a Ruffles
Potato Chip Treat at Little Jaye SOUTH PARK
One of Seattle’s best bakeries is tucked away in a quiet area of South Park, off the beaten path and easy to overlook. Do not. Little Jaye makes some of the best home-style baked goods you’ll ever put in your mouth. There are trays of golden biscuits, tender shokupan doughnuts, rows of big-ass cookies dotted with M&Ms, peanut butter chips, and Heath candy bits sit stacks of marshmallowy crispy treats. And we’re not talking about your basic back-of-the-box recipe. These
crispy treats are the size of bricks and loaded with a rainbow of cereals and stir-ins—Cocoa Krispies, Fruity Pebbles, Golden Grahams, chocolate chunks, and pretzels. The star of the show is the crispy treat made entirely of crunched-up Ruffles potato chips. The chips are thick enough to hold their own in the marshmallow bath, making for a decadent salty-sweet, crispy-crunchy marvel. MEGAN SELING
Catch a Flying Hot Dog at the Mariners Game
SODO
There are currently 30 baseball teams in the MLB, and 29 of them have made it to the World Series at least once. The one holdout? The Seattle fucking Mariners. And yet, every summer, dedicated fans flock to T-Mobile Park to see if this year will be our year. (It won’t.) Thankfully, the Mariners know their baseball shenanigans won’t always be enough to keep the people entertained, so they’ve taken to hyping up the crowd with especially goofy park promotions, including Emo Night (May 29), Bark at the Park (bring your dogs!), and Hot Dogs from Heaven, when hot dogs tied to parachutes rain down on the crowd. You’ll know it’s time when Belinda Carlisle’s “Heaven Is a Place on Earth” begins to blast from the speakers. MEGAN SELING
Savor World-Class Sushi (and Try Geoduck, If You Must) at Maneki
CHINATOWN—INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT
Newcomers may not know that, although our city is pretty fucking white, Seattle’s Japanese American community has been in town almost as long as any other group of settlers—the first wave of emigrants arrived from Japan in 1880—and is a crucial part of our culinary psyche. Opening in 1904 and named for the maneki-neko, the beckoning cat figurine that apocryphally brings good luck to its owner, Maneki is the oldest sushi restaurant in the nation, and it’s been a paragon of Japanese cuisine in the US for 120 years. The original building mimicked a Japanese castle, it had private tatami rooms, the servers wore kimonos, and the restaurant could seat 500. But during WWII, when its owners were forcibly
interned in camps, the building was vandalized and ransacked. Lucky for us, the restaurant reopened half a block away in 1946, with new tatami rooms. Currently owned by former server Jean Nakayama, Maneki’s known by locals as the untouristy spot for world-class sushi (sorry, Shiro). If you ARE a tourist, you can famously eat geoduck here, a PNW delicacy that’s honestly just a big expensive clam shaped like a dick. But like everything else on the menu, Maneki styles it expertly, sautéing it with mushrooms, butter, and chili. MEG VAN HUYGEN
Fight Over a Flight at Molly Moon’s Homemade Ice Cream
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
You’re gonna wanna try everything on the menu at Molly Moon’s Homemade Ice Cream—staples include salted caramel, honey lavender, oatmeal cookie dough, and Yeti, a sweet cream ice cream base dotted with crunchy granola, swirls of vanilla bean caramel, and chocolate chunks. And the shop’s seasonal selections—loaded with everything from fresh fruits to locally sourced candy bits to hunks of fresh-baked cakes and cookies— are even more impressive! So you could go down the line and ask for a sample of every flavor on those tiny spoons—they will do that for you, they are very nice—or you could live out your Ziggy Piggy dreams with the shop’s infamous ice cream flight, a big bowl stuffed with mini scoops of every single flavor on the menu. That’s 15 scoops total! It is not for the weak. It is meant to be shared. Bring a friend or five and have fun fighting over who gets the last little melty bits. MEGAN SELING
Did you know?
You get extra credit if you give fries to the friendly seagulls! (The seagulls bullied us into writing that. Assholes.)
Try to eat all of MOLLY MOON’S HOMEMADE ICE CREAM ’s 15-Scoop ice cream flight. We dare you.
Ride the Water Taxi to Marination
WEST SEATTLE
It’s the perfect sunny day in Seattle. You have no idea what to do, where to go—but then you remember that mythic land across the Sound you’ve only heard stories about: West Seattle. Does one need a magic steed to get there? No, you simply need an Orca card (or $5.75). Take the King County Water Taxi, which loads pedestrians and cyclists (no extra charge for bikes!) from downtown. After a glorious 10-15 minute ride, the taxi drops you off just around the bend from Alki Beach. But
❑ Slurp Up a Giant Bowl of Phở
❑ Meet the Metropolitan Market Cookie
❑ Devour a Burrito as Big as a Baby at Gorditos Healthy Mexican
❑ Deep-Throat a Seattle Dog at 2 a.m. (or Anytime, Really)
❑ Order Literally Anything at Fuji Bakery
❑ Gorge on Pastries and Pasta at Bonito Cafe y Mercadito and Donna’s
❑ Taste the Original Teriyaki at Toshi’s Teriyaki Grill
❑ Sip Seattle History at Monorail Espresso
❑ Eat Oysters at Taylor Shellfish
BILLIE WINTER
right next to the water taxi pier is Marination Ma Kai, a Hawaiian-Korean fusion restaurant. Grab a pair of Aloha sliders to eat and a Jalapeño Fizz to slurp in the sun.
NATHALIE GRAHAM
Feast on Expertly Fried Fish at Emerald City Fish and Chips
RAINIER VALLEY
I want to say straight off the bat that the best people work at Emerald City Fish & Chips, a small joint whose windows view Rainier Avenue and the ghost of Silver Fork, a restaurant and Black cultural insti-
❑ Pick Your Poison at the Doctor’s Office
❑ Sit at Bruce Lee’s Table at Tai Tung Chinese Restaurant
❑ Try the Nutty Cloud at Aroom
❑ Split a Slice of Cake at Deep Sea Sugar & Salt
tution that was replaced a decade ago by a Safeway gas station. Emerald City Fish & Chips is still here, and their two-piece Alaskan cod and chips are made with the kind of goodness (back-home goodness) you expect from some of the best people in my town.
CHARLES MUDEDE
Dine at the Bar at Canlis
NORTH QUEEN ANNE
Contrary to conventional belief, you don’t have to drop $400 to enjoy this stunning and historic Seattle institution. Turns out, you can just show up and sit at the bar. Established in 1950, Peter Canlis and his family created a restaurant that’s known across time and space for its hospitality, creativity, quality, and sheer voluptuousness, and they have a whole swimming pool of James Beard awards to show for it. Anyway, the lounge is right next to the entrance, totally separate from dining, and you can just go. Canlis has loosened the dress code since the dotcom boom, when all the millionaires were 22 and couldn’t be pried from their gravy-stained Linux T-shirts, but you should make an effort. Put on some decent shoes and maybe a jacket, tell the host you’d like to be seated in the bar, and order a drink and the emblematic Canlis salad. A nod to the Canlis family’s Mediterranean roots, it comprises romaine, preposterously high-quality bacon, cherry toms, scallions, fresh mint and oregano, shredded Romano, an eggy-lemony Caesarean dressing, and the most incredible mindbending croutons that’ve been fried in the acorn-fed, shade-grown bacon fat. Eat yer salad, nurse your drink, and listen to the pianist, who was playing “Poker Face” the last time I was there. Damn, look at you. You eat at Canlis. MEG VAN HUYGEN
❑ Eat a Bánh Mì While Playing Pool at Billiard Hoang
❑ Crunch into the Crisp Burrito at Taco Time
❑ Dominate the 12-Egg Omelette at Beth’s Cafe
❑ Indulge in a Fancy AF Burger at Gainsbourg
❑ Hunt Down a Pink Cookie
❑ Crunch into a Ruffles Potato Chip Treat at Little Jaye
❑ Catch a Flying Hot Dog at the Mariners Game
❑ Savor WorldClass Sushi (and Try Geoduck, If You Must) at Maneki
❑ Fight Over a Flight at Molly Moon’s Homemade Ice Cream
❑ Ride the Water Taxi to Marination
❑ Feast on Expertly Fried Fish at Emerald City Fish and Chips
❑ Dine at the Bar at Canlis
MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE
From Punk Shows at Roller Rinks to Trivia Nights Hosted By Jeopardy! Champs
Yes, Seattle has been home to many an inspiring musician who went on to change the course of music as we know it—Jimi Hendrix, Ann and Nancy
Wilson, Kurt Cobain, Sir Mix-aLot, Quincy Jones. But today’s music scene is just as exciting and vibrant. Catch a punk show at a roller rink! Lose your mind (and your hearing) at an experimental noise show in an art gallery! Discover the future of comedy in a pizza restaurant! You’ll only be bored in Seattle if you’re boring.
The BALLARD ROCK BLOCK is home to the annual Freakout Festival, which has featured bands like the Black Angels, the Gories, and Seattle’s own Seaside Tryst (pictured here).
Rollerskate Around a Rock Show at Southgate Roller Rink
WHITE CENTER
Southgate Roller Rink is an underrated Seattle treasure in White Center—a roller rink with Baby Ketten Karaoke for most of the week at the bar, and shows in the middle of the roller rink several times a month, with a focus on the rock, punk, and noise end of the genre spectrum. I haven’t tried doing anything fancier other than staying upright while the bands play, but I think bonus points should go to whoever manages to do the first Wall of Death on wheels. KATHLEEN TARRANT
Rock the Ballard Block at Sunset Tavern and Tractor Tavern
BALLARD
Dropping in on a quality live music set is easy in central Ballard, with the Sunset and Tractor down the street from each other. The Sunset is a former Chinese restaurant that’s now a fun, divey rock ’n’ roll bar with live music across all popular genres, a photo booth, and friendly bartenders. The Tractor holds court just two blocks away, with gritty, saloon-
You can rollerskate while rocking out to bands like Year of the Cobra at SOUTHGATE ROLLER RINK in White Center.
esque decor, tallboys aplenty, and one of the best selections of live local and national rock, pop, alt-folk, and blues in town. STRANGER STAFF
Attend a Live On-Air Performance at KEXP
SEATTLE CENTER
One of the shiniest gems Seattle has to offer is the radio station 90.3 KEXP. Sure, you can stream KEXP all over the world, but there is something truly special about tuning in to the terrestrial signal. And if you’re not in Seattle, you can’t go see one of KEXP’s in-studio performances. KEXP hosts the most incredible artists about once a week and these four- or five-song sets are FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC. This feels like a best-kept secret that no one is actually keeping secret and yet not enough people are capitalizing upon. Yes, the room caps out at about 70 people, so you would have to get there early for tickets; yes, I get that most of these performances are midday and some people hAvE jObS tHeY hAvE tO wOrK; but no, I don’t find either of those excuses valid. We’re talking FREE concerts with your favorite artists, which are usually over in a half hour. These are the best quickies in town. Find the schedule and more details at kexp.org. RACHEL STEVENS
Sweat It Out at Dance Church
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Dance Church immediately inspires curiosity with its culty name, which was coined when Seattle dancers Kate Wallich and Lavinia Vago started a small Sunday morning dance party in 2010. Today, that humble gathering has blossomed into a full-fledged movement with a presence in six cities and an online streaming platform. A professional dancer leads the group in loose choreography to an upbeat pop soundtrack, and participants are encouraged to move their bodies joyfully. There’s just something ineffably cathartic about being crammed in a room with 200 sweaty strangers, grooving your heart out to “Call Your Girlfriend”—devotees report being moved to tears, especially at the end when the collective clasps hands together in a circle. Frankly, I can’t imagine a better endorphin-fueled start to a weekend morning.
JULIANNE BELL
Expect the Unexpected at Vermillion
CAPITOL HILL
Vermillion, an art gallery and bar on Capitol Hill, isn’t reinventing art galleries or bars, but it does always have cool shit that draws an unpretentious crowd. It feels good to be in a community space that’s integrated with local artists, which is why I like it. For instance, I’ve seen a sculpture made of cigarettes and a show of photography, painting, sketches, and leatherwork from Seattle’s leather community. At Vermillion, there’s always a band, storyteller, or some cool artist doing
It can be tricky to snag tickets to KEXP’S IN-STUDIO
PERFORMANCES
, but it’s worth the effort to see artists including Deep Sea Diver, They Might Be Giants, and Kung Foo Grip (pictured here).
some
Line Dance Your Pants Off at Little Red Hen
GREEN LAKE
Sometimes, even we coastal elites long for the bucolic pleasures of a widebrimmed hat, the twang of a banjo, and the simplicity of a dance with easy, clear rules. Luckily, Green Lake is home to one of the few country bars in the city: the nearly 100-year-old Little Red Hen. Every Monday, the Hen hosts line dancing lessons. The bar, muralled in pastoral Old West scenes, fills up with cowboy-hatted and booted clientele. After the lesson comes the line dance party. On Thursdays, the Hen hosts other dance lessons like the Cowboy Cha-Cha or the Sweetheart Schottische. If dancing doesn’t beckon, go to the Hen on Wednesdays for karaoke hosted by the unforgettable DJ Forrest Gump. Every other night is jam-packed with live country music from bluegrass jams to country trios. So, crack a cold one and giddy up on down. (Did that sound legit? Did I sound like a real cowboy?)
NATHALIE GRAHAM
cool thing that makes this city seem more vibrant. VIVIAN McCALL
JOE MABEL
THU, MAY 22 – SUN, MAY 25, 2025 BÉLA FLECK, EDMAR CASTAÑEDA, ANTONIO SANCHEZ TRIO
TUE, MAY 27 – WED, MAY 28, 2025 LINDSEY WEBSTER
THU, MAY 29 – SUN, JUN 1, 2025 THE MIRACLES
TUE, JUN 17 – WED, JUN 18, 2025 DAVE HOLLAND & LIONEL LOUKE
THU, JUN 19 – SUN, JUN 22, 2025 BILL FRISELL TRIO
TUE, JUN 24 – WED, JUN 25, 2025 ARTEMIS
TUE, JUN 3 – WED, JUN 4, 2025 SIMON PHILLIPS PROTOCOL V THU, JUN 26 – SUN, JUN 29, 2025 ELIANE ELIAS
THU, JUN 5 – SUN, JUN 8, 2025 MONTY ALEXANDER D-DAY ALBUM TOUR
TUE, JUN 10 – WED, JUN 11, 2025 MORGAN JAMES
THU, JUN 12 – SUN, JUN 15, 2025 MARCUS MILLER
TUE, JUL 1 – SUN, JUL 6, 2025 ACOUSTIC ALCHEMY
TUE, JUL 8 - WED, JUL 9, 2025 LEO KOTTKE
THU, JUL 10 - SUN, JUL 13, 2025 NEARLY DAN
Let Loose at Babe Night
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
It’s safe to say that no Seattle DJ burns more calories per gig than Waxwitch (aka Isabela Garcia). At any of her dozen-plus events per month, Garcia is in near-perpetual motion behind the decks (and sometimes in front of them), dancing up a tropical storm. The fun she’s clearly having while spinning records such as Tom Tom Club’s “Genius of Love” or Björk’s “Big Time Sensuality” acts as a contagion on crowds around the city, particularly at Babe Night, the event into which she’s currently putting the most time and energy—with big dividends. The
Babe Night concept seems so obvious and ripe for success, but nobody’s really capitalized on it like Garcia has. She and a rotating cast of the area’s savviest women selectors (including La Mala Noche, Kween Kaysh, and Gold Chisme) play female-centric tracks geared to get hands in the air and butts in gear. DAVE SEGAL
Support All-Ages Music at the Vera Project and Black Lodge
LOWER QUEEN ANNE AND SOUTH LAKE UNION
Anyone under the age of 40 probably doesn’t realize this, but Seattle wasn’t
always the music mecca it’s known as today. In fact, all ages concerts were illegal for a spell in the ’80s and ’90s due in part to our surprisingly puritanical liquor laws and overreaching politicians buying into hysterical misinformation fueled by ill-informed parents. Your homework: Listen to Let the Kids Dance!, a podcast presented by KUOW. Only after hearing the full story of the Teen Dance Ordinance, the All Ages Dance Ordinance, and how hard our city’s youth fought for their right to go to shows will you truly appreciate the Vera Project and the Black Lodge, two non-profit, mostly volunteer-run all-ages venues dedicated to keeping music accessible to everyone. The Vera Project also hosts classes during its off-hours, in
A wood-bedecked space with great acoustics in Columbia City, the Royal Room made its name on jazz bookings (it is partially the brainchild of musician and composer Wayne Horvitz), but has since expanded into folk, world music, and multimedia events. Music booker Bands including Sheer Mag, Screaming Females, NNAMDÏ, and Emi Pop (pictured) have performed at THE VERA PROJECT
which kids can learn everything from how to screen print their own flyers and merch to concert sound and lighting design. (Confidential to the real ones: Fuck Mark Sidran.) MEGAN SELING
Celebrate Your
Old-
School Faves at the Royal Room
COLUMBIA CITY
BRITTNE LUNNISS
Tish Gallow also produces fun-as-hell tribute nights where some of Seattle’s best celebrate the work of prominent Black musicians, including A Tribe Called Quest, Prince, Queen Latifah, and Whitney Houston. Do NOT miss their Juneteenth party, themed Divas of Soul and featuring music from all the greats. STRANGER STAFF
Join the Joketellers Union
BEACON HILL
Joketellers Union at the Clock-Out Lounge is one of Seattle’s most popular comedy nights for a reason. Every other week, hosts Emmett Montgomery and Brett Hamil bring together the region’s best performers, usually comedians, but also sometimes magicians, musicians, and PowerPoint devotees attempting to explain the emotional impact the Twilight franchise had on them as a child. (That last one is Bernice Larson, look her up, she’s hilarious.) From there, the night can go anywhere. It can be a comedy show, it can be a party, hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if it wound up inadvertently becoming a cult. Montgomery is charming AF. The best part: Joketellers Union isn’t just a name— you get a membership card when you join! It’s a pretty good litmus test when meeting people in Seattle. Ask to see their Joketellers Union card, and if they don’t have one, keep on walking. MEGAN SELING
Then Laugh Your Face Off at a Comedy Open Mic
VARIOUS LOCATIONS
Okay, so we’re no LA, New York, or Chicago, but Seattle’s comedy scene is bustling. Especially our comedy open mic scene. Maybe you want to try your hand at standup, or you want to see people be brave (and funny!) as they ascend to the stage. Well, good news. There’s a lot to choose from and there’s something for everybody! If you’re into comedy focused on women, trans, queer, and POC people, check out the Comedy Nest every Tuesday at the Rendezvous at 8 p.m. Or, you could go watch Naked Brunch on Saturdays at the Rendezvous, a completely improvised, unprepared standup open mic. Perhaps you’re partial to Capitol Hill. You can catch open mic performances at Emerald City Comedy Club on Tuesday at 7 p.m. For the nerdier among us, I’d recommend stopping in at Roosevelt’s Distant Worlds Coffeehouse
Jeopardy! champions
Sally Neumann and Leah Caglio host HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, the best trivia night in town.
for geeky open mics every third Saturday. There are so many more, too! Just name a day of the week. Wednesday? You want Wednesdays? How about the Waterwheel Open Mic in Ballard? Good? Great.
NATHALIE GRAHAM
Test Your Wits at Head in the Clouds
Trivia
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Allow me to brag for a second: I was a member of my school’s Knowledge Bowl team and made it through multiple rounds of Jeopardy! callbacks in 2020, although I sadly never got that fateful call from Culver City. (I’m not giving up yet, though!) Are you a fellow freak for seemingly useless knowledge? Can you pick all of the Real Housewives out of a lineup? Do you have an uninterrupted New York Times crossword streak? If so, come to Head in the Clouds to flaunt your impressive command of minutiae. University of Wash-
ington grads and Jeopardy! champions Sally Neumann and Leah Caglio host this trivia night at bars throughout Seattle from Sunday through Thursday. You won’t find your typical musty, male-dominated
❑ Rollerskate Around a Rock Show at Southgate Roller Rink
❑ Rock the Ballard Block at Sunset Tavern and Tractor Tavern
❑ Attend a Live On-Air Performance at KEXP
❑ Sweat It Out at Dance Church
questions here—the duo has made it their mission to incorporate topics that have traditionally gotten less respect, like pop culture, and to approach history from an anti-colonial perspective.
JULIANNE BELL
Check off every spot where you’ve boogied or laughed your butt off, and add it to the running total on page 74.
❑ Expect the Unexpected at Vermillion
❑ Line Dance Your Pants Off at Little Red Hen
❑ Let Loose at Babe Night
❑ Support All-Ages Music at the Vera Project and Black Lodge
❑ Celebrate Your Old-School Faves at the Royal Room
❑ Join the Joketellers Union
❑ Then Laugh Your Face Off at a Comedy Open Mic
❑ Test Your Wits at Head in the Clouds Trivia
COURTESY OF HEAD IN THE CLOUDS TRIVIA
We
QUEER
Where to Find Spectacular Drag Shows, Gay AF Book Clubs, and Meathead-Free
Sports Bars
Whether you’re local or visiting, you probably already know about our historic gayborhood, Capitol Hill.
On the Hill alone, you can visit the West Coast’s oldest lesbian bar, dodge (or don’t dodge) the overflowing urinal at
Cuff Complex, and check out the vintage porn on the walls at Pony.
But queer shit is everywhere in Seattle: TUSH, the drag show we insist you don’t miss, is in Beacon Hill; Ballard is home to Rough & Tumble, our very own women’s
sports bar. And it’s also not all nightlife. If you’re underage, check out Charlie’s Queer Books for a cozy, friendly space, minus the booze. But whatever else you do on your queerscapades in Seattle, don’t forget to suck a dick in Volunteer Park. For history.
love TUSH at Clock-Out Lounge and so will you!
Catch a Drag Show… Any
Drag Show
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
It’s hard not to find a show featuring one of Seattle’s many professional, gender-expansive royalty—they’re overflowing from nearly every restaurant, nightclub, and DIY art space across the city. Capitol Hill alone is home to weekly shows at Queer/ Bar, Unicorn, and Neighbours, just to name a few. If you’re down south, don’t miss the camp-classic Bacon Strip at Jules Mae’s in Georgetown. Up north? There are multiple phenomenal shows at Dreamland in Fremont. I don’t have time nor room on this page to begin listing off the endless brunch options, but if you’re looking for eggs, booze, and hairy ladies in sequinned gowns, let’s just say you’re in the right city.
NICO SWENSON
Specifically, Do Not Miss TUSH at ClockOut Lounge
BEACON HILL
As mentioned above, you really can’t go wrong with drag shows in this town, and one of the favorites among Stranger staffers is Betty Wetter’s TUSH at Clock-Out Lounge. Since 2018, Wetter has cultivated a space where queens are encouraged to experiment, to get a little
weird, and push their creativity beyond the reliable slick and shiny lipsynching performances that have become the status quo. (No hate, those can be fun, too!) The result is always fresh, surprising, and fun as hell. Wetter and TUSH are going balls to the wall for Pride month, too, with shows featuring Seattle superstars like Beau Degas, Pupusa, Amora Namor, and beloved Stranger contributor Miss Texas 1988 (check out our Instagram, @thestrangerseattle, for her hilarious videos). Load up on dollar bills and go shower them with love.
MEGAN SELING
Do a Fruit Loop at Union
CAPITOL HILL
What’s a fruit loop, you ask? No, it’s not a rainbow-colored frozen drink that tastes like breakfast cereal. A fruit loop is a… well, I’ll let my group chat field this one: “A ‘fruit loop’ is when one excuses themself from their present company to travel around the interior of a queer establishment and scan the crowd.” “At Union, most will play this off as a bathroom break, as the bathrooms are located at the midpoint of the loop.” “Union is the perfect place for a fruit loop.” “I’ll go to Union first because that’s where everyone starts the night, and then I’ll do my fruit loop.” “It’s building
Not only does ROUGH & TUMBLE support all our favorite women’s sports teams, but they also serve the best fried cheese curds in town.
community!” “It’s an opportunity to make intense eye contact with people you’re going to message on Grindr in an hour.”
“It’s also just to say hello to friends: I wouldn’t say it’s always about the prowl.” “This guy does it all the time.” “I am very guilty of this.” “I’m sure everyone does it.”
ADAM WILLEMS
Join a Totally Gay Book Club
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Would you like to indulge in the intellectual pleasures of discussing literature in the company of your fellow queer bibliophiles? Seattle has a book club for that! Check out the Queer Seattle Book Club, which meets every fourth Tuesday at the shop Queertique on Capitol Hill—LGBTQ+ cuties are invited to bring a book, chat about their latest reads, make new friends, and find new acquisitions for their library. If you’re more on the introverted side, try Queer Silent Book Club Seattle, which invites queers and allies to read in companionable silence at venues like Charlie’s Queer Books, with opportunities for introductions and conversation. Charlie’s also has its own groups for various genres, from historical fiction to horror and from sci-fi to romance. Sapphic readers may also want to look into the Seattle Lesbian Literature Meetup Group,
which is affiliated with Elliott Bay Book Company and regularly gathers at Gay City. JULIANNE BELL
Dodge—or Don’t—the Overflowing Urinal at the Cuff Complex
CAPITOL HILL
Seattle is home to a permanent watersports fixture in the form of pee flowing pretty consistently onto the dance floor of the Cuff Complex (aka the Cuff), a leather-forward gay dance club on Capitol Hill. Blame the aquatics on faulty plumbing. There’s one cursèd urinal on the mezzanine level of this Dante’s Inferno-esque nightlife destination that I’ve never not seen overflowing with poise and grace down the stairs. If it’s your thing, take your shirt off and bring rain boots that match your harness! Or don’t bring boots if that’s your thing, I guess. ADAM WILLEMS
Cheer for Your Team at Our Queer AF Sports Bars
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Rough & Tumble is my favorite place in Seattle to watch sports. And I’m not just saying that because of the cheese curds! Their spacious, family-friendly dining area is full of TVs at every angle, and they
Is VOLUNTEER PARK the prettiest place you can suck a dick? Probably!
prioritize women’s sports. Snack on an Abby Wambroccolini while watching the Storm game! Get a plate of Billie Jean King chicken wings before the Reign match! There’s never a meathead in sight! This summer, another women’s sports-focused queer-friendly sports bar is set to open on Capitol Hill from the folks at La Dive and Rich Rich. Pitch the Baby doesn’t have an open date yet, but follow them on Instagram (@pitchthebabybar) for updates. And the timing couldn’t be better. This spring, Seattle got a new semi-pro women’s soccer team (co-owned by Rough & Tumble owner Jen Barnes and women from the Reign and the Storm), and in the fall, our new PWNHL team will make their debut at Climate Pledge Arena. Welcome to Seattle, where even our sports bars are totally gay. Trump would hate it here. MEGAN SELING
Join the Pink Pony Club at Sapphic Seattle
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
If you worship at the altar of Chappell Roan and are looking for a place to dance surrounded by queer women and non-binary babes all night long in your mini skirt and your go-go boots, consider one of Sapphic Events’ dance parties. The
local small event production business puts on functions with playful themes like ren faire, Y2K, disco, Barbie, prom, and space, and attendees dress the part. DJs, MCs, and go-go dancers keep the crowd in high spirits, and a portion of the proceeds supports organizations such as the Audre Lorde Project, Black Trans Advocacy Coalition, and Indigenous Women Rising. JULIANNE BELL
Speaking of Ponies, Go to Pony!
CAPITOL HILL
I could name several events in my life that qualify as a sexual awakening, but nothing beats my first time at Capitol Hill queer bar Pony. I wandered in one Halloween night dressed as Truth or Dare-era Madonna (cone bra and dress pants) and was immediately confronted (Pony is small) with a hunky guy in tighty whities doing a pole dance routine to Björk’s “Army Of Me.” I was utterly dumbfounded. My legs turned to jelly. Once I caught my breath, I was pleasantly surprised by the affordable drinks, safe atmosphere, and abundance of vintage pornography adorning the walls. Whether you stop by on Halloween night or any regular weekday evening, you will always
Grab a Drink at Wildrose, the West Coast’s Oldest Lesbian Bar
CAPITOL HILL
There are only 33 lesbian bars left in the country, and Wildrose is one of them. Everyone likes to give it a different super-
❑ Catch a Drag Show… Any Drag Show
❑ Specifically, Do Not Miss TUSH at Clock-Out Lounge
❑ Do a Fruit Loop at Union
❑ Join a Totally Gay Book Club
lative: the last remaining lesbian bar in Seattle; the oldest lesbian bar on the West Coast; the longest continually running lesbian bar in the country. All of them are true. (And rumor has it, even before the space became an official lesbian bar, you could walk into the bar, ask for a drink with a twist, and you’d be seated in the balcony with the other sapphics.) Come here for go-go dancers. Come here for Schitt’s Creek trivia. Come here for good local beer or jello shots, depending on your vibe that night. Come here to hear someone talk about the days when Ani DiFranco and Brandi Carlile used to play here. But most importantly, come here because lesbian bars are disappearing, so give them your money!
HANNAH MURPHY WINTER
Suck a Dick in Volunteer Park. For History’s Sake!
CAPITOL HILL
Nestled in the gayborhood of Capitol Hill, Volunteer Park features a landmark conservatory, a stunning view from a historic water tower, and a vibrant past of queers getting off in the bushes. The park was founded in 1876, and ever since, gays have been getting a mouthful behind the beautiful dahlias and taking it in from behind amongst the bursting rhododendrons. To be clear, I’m “not” telling you to commit any “acts of public indecency,” I’m just saying that if you’ve met your Grindr hookup in a shadowy shrub along the duck ponds, you’ve successfully contributed to an important oral history.
NICO SWENSON
We’re almost to the end! Check off all the fun shit you’ve completed, and find out how Seattle you are on page 74.
❑ Dodge—or Don’t—the Overflowing Urinal at the Cuff Complex
❑ Cheer for Your Team at Our Queer AF Sports Bars
❑ Join the Pink Pony Club at Sapphic Seattle
❑ Speaking of Ponies, Go to Pony!
❑ Grab a Drink at Wild Rose, the West Coast’s Oldest Lesbian Bar
❑ Suck a Dick in Volunteer Park. For History’s Sake!
find something delightfully unexpected at Pony. AUDREY VANN
If you love nature, you’ll love Seattle. No, really! We’re not as rainy as they say—we just tell people that so they’ll leave us alone. We have 6,480 acres of parks, 4,563 miles of trails, more than 4 million trees, and stunning mountain ranges in every direction. We even have a slogan for our view—if you ever hear anyone excitedly exclaim “Mountain’s out!” you know Tahoma (Mount Rainier) is looking especially fine that day. Late spring into early fall is the best stretch of nice weather— once that thermometer hits the mid-50s in April, we flock to the parks, trails, water, and beaches to shake off winter’s cold grasp and replenish our depleting Vitamin D. Well, at least until smoke season hits. Then it’s back into the air-conditioned bars and movie theaters.
OUTDOORS
Go Touch Grass… and Sand and Trees and Salt Water and Sea Anemones
Strip Down to Your Skivvies at Denny
Blaine Park
MADISON VALLEY
Denny Blaine is my favorite place to be homosexual in the United States. Like all great American queer beaches, it’s so tiny, remote, and (lovably) ugly that you’d think nobody else would possibly have wanted it. But this jewel happens to be in a wealthy neighborhood and neighbors, from their mansions and private waterfronts, have launched a war on nudity, which is totally legal in our fine city. It began in 2023 with a $1 million plan to build a playground there, and continued
with a recent lawsuit that alleged the city had let the beach fall into the greasy gorilla-grasp of public masturbators. Perpetually attacked and perpetually saved, Denny Blaine is for anyone who isn’t afraid of showing a little skin. Oh, and the no parking signs do mean no parking. Chance it and you will be towed.
VIVIAN McCALL
Get on a Boat! Any Boat!
VARIOUS LOCATIONS
It’s not a matter of if you’ll have the opportunity to get on a boat while visiting Seattle, it’s a matter of which kind of boat
you’d prefer. We have dozens of different water vessels available to rent, from self-powered paddle boats (Green Lake Boathouse and Coffee Shop) to wooden row boats that will make you feel like Anne of Green Gables (the Center for Wooden Boats) to literal floating hot tubs that you can put around in on Lake Union for about $450 a pop. Personally, I love the cute little cruisers at the Electric Boat Company. The basic model goes for $139 an hour and seats up to 10 people—that’s just $14 each! It’s outfitted with padded seats and a table with cupholders so you can pack a picnic, and it’s also got a Bluetooth stereo and optional heating for chilly
LARA KAMINOFF
nights. Plus, they’re super easy to drive. Even I, an anxiety-riddled anti-captain, can confidently cruise around at a smooth 6 mph to see a special side of Seattle only visible from the water.
MEGAN SELING
Owl Prowl at Discovery Park
MAGNOLIA
If you need a break from the depressing black hole that can be city living, I recommend prowling for owls like you’re in a Tove Jansson novel. Located just across from Ballard’s Hiram M. Chittenden Locks in the Magnolia neighborhood, Discovery Park is a gigantic wooded oasis with stunning waterside hikes, a historic lighthouse (more on that below), and several breeds of owls lurking amidst the trees. Owls are nocturnal creatures, but it’s not unusual to see one during the daytime. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, go on the prowl after dark (the park closes at 11:30 pm); just don’t forget your binoculars.
AUDREY VANN
Then Search for Sea Stars at West Point Lighthouse Beach
MAGNOLIA
One of my favorite things to do with out-of-towners is tide pooling at Discovery Park’s West Point Lighthouse Beach. Wear shoes you don’t mind getting wet and check for low tide. You’ll know you’re in the right place when you start seeing clams spitting everywhere. It’s like a mini Fourth of July celebration, but instead of fireworks, it’s tiny streams of water being shot up into the sky by buried clams. In the shallow pools, you’ll likely be able to see sea anemones, which are topped with rings of hairy-looking tentacles and look like something dangerous out of Stranger Things, but they’re harmless. You should be harmless, too—if you gently touch the outside of the sea anemones, they will react and close up. NATURE. But what you’re really there to see are the sea stars (the actual term for what common folk call “starfish”). They will be on the big rocks or boulders on the edge of pools and you will have to get low to see them. I have gotten on my hands and knees to spot three purple sea stars tucked under a rock and told a group of people nearby, “Hey! Did y’all see the sea stars here?” To which they replied, “NO! We looked all over that rock for one!” Didn’t get low enough. RACHEL STEVENS
Take the Path Less Traveled at Carkeek Park
BROADVIEW
This city is rich with an embarrassment of outdoor spaces. Discovery Park and Golden Gardens tend to take all the glory, with their showy beach bonfires and sweeping territorial views, but for my money, Carkeek is the best park in city limits. Just a little bit north of Golden Gardens, Carkeek is a breathtaking 220-acre pinch of the Olympics. The 3.5-mile loop that starts and ends at Piper’s Creek takes you from wetlands, orchards, and mossy little bridges up to big views of the Sound, past the beach (no dogs allowed), and into rolling, hilly forests.
KATHLEEN TARRANT
Freeze Your Ass Off in the Puget Sound
VARIOUS
LOCATIONS
If you spend any time at Golden Gardens or Alki Beach, you’re gonna see people in the water and wonder, “Isn’t it cold?” Yes! It is! Quite cold. The average sea surface temperature for Elliott Bay, for example, is 59 degrees Fahrenheit in August. But you should jump in anyway! People pay good money for cold plunge baths at high-end
spas, and here in Seattle, we get that shit for free. If you’re new to plunging, I highly recommend starting with one of the local organizations that facilitate group events; I really like Coldwater Collective and Puget Sound Plungers. Both post their weekly schedules on Instagram, along with tips for first-timers, and it’s way more fun yelling and swearing and splashing around with other people feeling your pain. (Wear a warm hat! It really does make a big difference!) Your first time will probably suck. I lasted about 20 seconds before bailing and swearing it off for good. But 24 hours later, I wanted to try again. I loved the tingly feeling on my skin and the rush of endorphins. Now I go at least once a week, and half the time, I spot some cute sea critter playing out in the water, too.
MEGAN SELING
Witness the Miracle of Life at the Ballard
Locks
BALLARD
Are you in Seattle to gawk at leggy birds? Look no further than the Ballard Locks! It’s a concrete mass separating saltwater from freshwater that functions as a boat elevator and fish ladder between Puget Sound and Salmon Bay. This landmark, the busiest boat locks in the United States,
Don’t forget to get low when searching for sea stars in Seattle’s TIDEPOOLS.
harbors a Janus-faced past and present: an artificial scarring of the landscape that displaced Coast Salish people during its construction—as commemorated on some plaques outside the nearby Pagliacci??— but also a hotspot for wildlife. Demure seals, charismatic salmon runs, yappy sea lions, yacht owners in the throes of a midlife crisis, etc., etc. The Janussery continues at the blue heron rookery in Commodore Park (the Magnolia side), a lovely site where loving (leggy) heron parents raise their chicks. The bird colony, though, is also used by local NIMBYists to delay local affordable housing construction under the guise of “ecological preservation.” J’accuse! But also tell the heron I said hi.
ADAM WILLEMS
Do Shrooms in the Arboretum
MADISON PARK
Here’s the thing: When it’s sunny out, there are a million places in Seattle you can and should take a trip with everyone’s good pal psilocybin. The obvious—and unbeatable option—is the Washington Park Arboretum. Pack a picnic blanket, a water bottle, a few snacks, a towel (who knows if you’ll wander to Foster Point and be called by the lake), a fresh pair of socks, any sun protection you need, and spend
NATHALIE GRAHAM
an afternoon wandering in and out of the arboretum. Rhododendron glen will never look better. You could spend a full hour watching the sun cascade through the leaves and through John Glade’s Union, a netted sculpture of transparent blue and green forms hanging from the trees. Find a bench and listen to the wind, feel the sun on your cheeks, breathe. Maybe any shroom-inspired visuals will dazzle, or maybe you’ll just feel more at peace. (Note: While you can do shrooms in the arboretum during any season, a snowy day makes for quite the trip.)
Sink in the Muck on Foster Island
MONTLAKE
There’s a squelchy, sticky oasis tucked in alongside the 520 bridge and the Montlake Cut aptly named Marsh Island. To reach Marsh Island, you must cross a pedestrian bridge that’s usually sinking a bit. Then, you’ll reach land. Depending on the season, this ground is not solid. I’d suggest taking your shoes off here if you were silly enough to wear shoes. Plod across the squishy mud into the trees that grow dense and impossibly green. Through the branches, you’ll find tunnels to access points. You can find a bench to sit on, or an empty dock to swim from. You can also keep going. You’ll reach another set of pedestrian bridges with concrete docks where you can fish or swim or bask. (If you look under one of the bridges, maybe you’ll see a sticker that says “Funkytown.” That was a key element in an Amazing Race scavenger hunt I planned.) Once you made it this far, I suggest you keep going across the maze of floating walkways. Sometimes paddle boarders and kayakers are hitched up here, taking a breather. Soon, you’ll make it to Foster Island, an isthmus that juts into Lake Washington where you sunbathe, barbecue, and watch all the boats go by. You can access Foster Island through the arboretum, too, but that’s less fun.
NATHALIE GRAHAM
Smoke Weed at Our Secret Spot Next to the Cemetery
CAPITOL HILL
Roll or buy a joint of your choice (for me, it’s walking into Ruckus on 15th and asking for whatever the absolute lowest THC pre-roll is, something one step up from smoking a hemp
The WASHINGTON PARK ARBORETUM is the perfect place to take a trip with everyone’s good pal psilocybin.
necklace). Walk North on 15th, past Volunteer Park and past the entrance to the Lake View Cemetery. On the other side of the street, there’s the Louisa Boren Lookout, where you can sit on a bench and gaze out onto a truly sick view of Lake Washington and the Cascades. There’s also a giant rusted sculpture (a sort of a funky Stonehenge/Jenga?), and some weeping willows. The cemetery itself is also nice to stroll—it’s not very goth, but has pretty trees and is well taken care of. Bruce and Brandon Lee are buried here. For more memento mori further down 15th, bang an immediate left on Howe. You’ll encounter palm trees on the corner, as a treat, and then a few blocks down, a single monument and some headstones: the Grand Army of the
Check off all the spots where you’ve stripped, tripped, and sunk in the muck, and add them to the running total on page 74! (Cute buns, btw.)
Republic Cemetery. I stumbled across this secret second cemetery by accident and was surprised to learn it’s the final resting place of Civil War veterans (Union side). There’s not a lot going on here, and that’s what’s nice. EMILY NOKES
Walk the Whole Olmsted 50K
VARIOUS LOCATIONS
The Olmsteds are well known for designing big splashy East Coast shit like New York’s Central Park and Boston’s string of parks known as the Emerald Necklace, but the brothers also spent more than three decades designing 37 of our (objectively more) gorgeous Seattle parks. Last November, to celebrate 120
❑ Strip Down to Your Skivvies at Denny Blaine Park
❑ Get on a Boat! Any Boat!
❑ Owl Prowl at Discovery Park
❑ Then Search for Sea Stars at West Point Lighthouse Beach
❑ Take the Path Less Traveled at Carkeek Park
❑ Freeze Your Ass Off in the Puget Sound
❑ Witness the Miracle of Life at the Ballard Locks
❑ Do Shrooms in the Arboretum
❑ Sink in the Muck on Foster Island
❑ Smoke Weed at Our Secret Spot Next to the Cemetery
❑ Walk the Whole Olmsted 50K
years of the Olmsted Parks contract, the Mountaineers’ Seattle Urban Walk Committee and Friends of Seattle’s Olmsted Parks mapped out a 50-kilometer (31-mile) walking route that hits over two dozen of those parks. The route is broken up into five 5-7 mile sections, beginning at the Ballard Locks and ending all the way down at Rainier Beach Playfield in South Seattle. It was specifically designed to be tackled in bite-sized chunks with plenty of scenery, treats, toilets, and Seattle landmarks along the way. The Seattle Urban Walk Committee hosts official walks, which you can find on the website, but it’s encouraged to go with friends on your own time. Personally, I’m trying to wrangle a group for a DIY 50k run of it this summer. KATHLEEN
TARRANT
The Pacific Northwest is home to two of the top three retailers in the country, Amazon and Costco. But don’t get it twisted. Our city is also packed with literally hundreds of independently owned shops, boutiques, and businesses that sell everything from limited-edition strains of weed to blankets designed by Native artists to that one rare used record that has eluded you for decades. Aside from these brick-andmortar stores, also be on the lookout for pop-up markets from Urban Craft Uprising, Seattle Restored, and Punk Rock Flea Market.
Buy Some Weed! It’s Legal Here!
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Dockside Cannabis SoDo is a great place for folks buying legal weed for the first time. It’s emblematic of the new direction in pot retailing brought on by legalization: big, open floor plans, lots of light, and classy decor.
SHOPPING
Because You Can’t Buy Weed on Amazon
Dockside’s got all that, and a cannabis museum to boot. That’s right: An entire corner of their store is devoted to the history and science of cannabis, including selections from the Wirtshafter collection, Ohio cannabis activist Don Wirtshafter’s hoard of vintage cannabis medicine bottles. It sounds bland when I put it that way, but it’s awesome, a fascinating physical reminder that pot used to be both legal and benign.
TOBIAS COUGHLIN-BOGUE
Sample Every Flavor of KitKat at Uwajimaya
CHINATOWN–INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT
Located in the center of the Chinatown–International District is Uwajimaya, one of North America’s largest Asian retailers. (They also have locations in Bellevue, Renton, and Beaverton, Oregon.) Seattle’s store is more than 35,000 square feet, filled with all the usual grocery delights, as well as a full-service seafood counter, a deli section with mouthwatering graband-go options, and a candy department
EASY STREET
RECORDS is one of the best record stores in the city, and famous for their free and all-ages in-store performances.
stocked with every imported KitKat flavor you can imagine. Flavors rotate, but Melon, Salt Lemon, Pistachio, and Chocolate Daifuku have been spotted. Go buy as many as you can, and host your own KitKat tasting. STRANGER STAFF
Replace Your Pendleton Blanket at Eighth Generation DOWNTOWN
Eighth Generation, the lifestyle brand and retail space owned by the Snoqualmie Tribe, was the country’s first Nativeowned company to sell wool blankets,
You can fill your cart with EVERY FLAVOR OF KITKAT at Uwajimaya Asian Market.
and their store on First Avenue is a must-visit if you’re anywhere near Pike Place Market. There, you’ll find the most gorgeous wool blankets you’ve ever seen (suck it, Pendleton), as well as jewelry, kitchenware, art, home decor, even dog leashes and matching collars, all designed by Native artists. Look for pieces from their Gold Label line—a collection of blankets and scarves that are designed, knit, and finished by hand in their Seattle studio. MEGAN SELING
Gross Out Friends with Clam-Flavored Candy at Archie McPhee
WALLINGFORD
A Seattle staple since 1983, Archie McPhee is the local joke shop that keeps our city strange. It started out as a little hole in the wall in Fremont that sold vintage (unused) medical supplies, rubber snakes, and Whoopee Cushions. The store, now in a large, slick storefront in Wallingford, is world-renowned for its own line of toys, candy, and knick-knacks. Think squirrel-sized underpants, wind-up sloth racers, and clam-flavored candy canes. While there, stroll through the Rubber Chicken Museum, which proudly displays both the world’s largest and smallest rubber chickens. STRANGER STAFF
Hunt for Treasures— and Maybe Get
Married???—at Georgetown Trailer Park Mall
GEORGETOWN
If you peek behind Star Brass Works Lounge in Georgetown, you’ll notice something odd—a bunch of Airstreams
parked in a line, some with awnings, some with auxiliary wood structures, and a shotgun wedding chapel with a 6-by-6-foot AstroTurfed square. It’s confusing if you don’t know what it is—the bones of Seattle’s cutest little weekend market. Every Saturday and Sunday, small businesses sell skincare products, vintage clothes, Lowrider cookies, marriage, and more out of the RVs, adding a fun stop on the bustling Georgetown retail and bar corridor. KATHLEEN TARRANT
Build a Booze-Free Bar at Cheeky & Dry
PHINNEY RIDGE
Cheeky & Dry is a darling booze-free bottle shop where owners Kirstin and Yura Vracko sell dozens of different non-alcoholic spirits and amari and syrups and canned cocktails and sodas and tinctures and bitterses. This place looks like a wine shop from France and carries all kinds of curious elixirs I never knew existed, like yuzu or vanilla-rooibos tea or rose cordial syrup (Portland Syrups), cherry/ginger/ maple NA cider (Nowhere), and all four of the Casamara Club botanical sodas, which are nearly impossible to find. There must be a hundred thousand individual items within this store, and the staff let you taste everything in a little cuppity cup. MEG VAN HUYGEN
Get Witchy at Ghost Gallery
DOWNTOWN
It’s true that Pacific Place Mall is a shell of its former self. Most malls in America are. While building management sorts out how to adapt to a new mall-less world, Pacific Place has filled their storefronts with local businesses. My favorite is Ghost Gallery,
KENTARO
TAKAHASHI/BLOOMBERG/GETTY
which is full of affordable art, tarot, candles that smell like magic, and little glass containers full of ink made from melted guns. Shopping there will make you feel like you’re in a Stevie Nicks song. MEGAN SELING
Find Your Perfect Dildo at Wild at Heart BALLARD
Wild at Heart is a great sex shop that shares a name with a great film. Like Nicolas Cage found his symbol of individuality and belief in personal freedom in a snakeskin jacket, you can do the same with this Ballard shop’s selection of dildos, lubes, whips, crops, and puppy masks. Browsing for straps is awkward for the best of us, but Wild at Heart’s friendly, judgment-free atmosphere is pleasant even for shy types. Where a lot of sex shops in Seattle feel stuffy and corporate for their lascivious merchandise, Wild at Heart sparkles with a genuine quality.
VIVIAN McCALL
Star in an Episode of ‘Gilmore Girls’ on Ballard Avenue
BALLARD
Downtown Ballard is so sweet and quaint, it will make you feel like you just stepped onto the set of Amy Sherman-Palladino’s latest project. The historic streets are lined with trees and brick buildings that house bars and restaurants, independently owned stores and boutiques, and art galleries. LUCCA Great Finds has a dizzying array of gifts and home accessories as well as a selection of stationery,
pens, and pencils that will inspire you to take up letter writing. Sweet Mickey’s is an old-fashioned candy store that carries bulk candy and fudge by the pound, but they’ve got modern favorites, too, including the highly coveted Dubai chocolate bars and BUBS gummies. On Market Avenue and you’ll find one of Seattle’s most iconic record stores, Sonic Boom, and don’t miss nearby Monster, which carries locally made crafts and gifts. The year-round Sunday farmers market is also great for dog watching. STRANGER STAFF
Waste the Day Away in Alaska Junction
WEST SEATTLE
A lot of people joke about West Seattle being impossible to get to, but the trip across the Duwamish Waterway really isn’t bad, especially if you hop on the West Seattle Water Taxi. From there, you can grab a shuttle that takes you up to the Alaska Junction, a buzzing neighborhood core of indie stores, art spaces, restaurants, bars, and coffee shops. Easy Street Records is one of the best record stores in the city, famous for their free in-store performances, and Husky Deli has great sandwiches, housemade ice cream, and an old-school candy counter. There are bookstores (Paper Boat Booksellers, Pegasus Book Exchange) and gift and home goods shops (Northwest Art & Frame), and a fun selection of vintage everything at Doll Parts Collective. Like Ballard, their Sunday farmers market is year-round and one of the biggest in the city. STRANGER STAFF
Congraulations! You’ve reached the final section of our How to Seattle guide. How Seattle are you? Count up all your adventures and flip to page 74!
❑ Buy Some Weed! It’s Legal Here!
❑ Sample Every Flavor of KitKat at Uwajimaya
❑ Eighth Generation
❑ Gross Out Friends with ClamFlavored Candy at Archie McPhee
❑ Hunt for Treasures—and Maybe Get Married???—at Georgetown Trailer Park Mall
❑ Build a Booze-Free Bar at Cheeky & Dry
❑ Get Witchy at Ghost Gallery
❑ Find Your Perfect Dildo at Wild at Heart
❑ Star in an Episode of ‘Gilmore Girls’ on Ballard Avenue
❑ Waste the Day Away in Alaska Junction
The previous 66 pages of this magazine are filled with 101 very great recommendations of all the cool shit to do in Seattle. You’re welcome! But now that we’re friends, we have some real talk, tough love about the things you should not do while you’re here. We see people making these mistakes all the time. And we hate it. Ignore our advice at your own peril!
Don’t Say “Pike’s Place”
HOW NOT TO SEATTLE
Follow These Few Basic Rules to Ensure You Stay on Our Good Side
The quickest way to out yourself as a newcomer or tourist is to refer to Pike Place Market as “Pike’s Place.” In fact, famous Seattleite Ken Jennings recently corrected a contestant who lost points by making the familiar faux pas on Jeopardy!, adding, “We’re sticklers in Seattle.” In 2021, Ballard High School grad and Hacks actress (and queen of my heart) Jean Smart also told the Seattle Times that the misplaced possessive “s” was also a pet peeve of hers. Mispronouncing Puyallup, Sequim, Tukwila, Mukilteo, or Spokane is
also a dead giveaway, so try to brush up on your local vocab to avoid embarrassing yourself. JULIANNE BELL
Don’t Skimp on the Tip
Seattle currently has one of the highest minimum wages in the entire country, and tourists often use that as an excuse not to have to tip well or at all. Don’t be that jerk. Service industry workers still very much rely on tips to round out their paychecks. In 2024, CNBC declared Seattle the eighth most expensive city in the world based on factors such as cost of living, rent, and groceries. Even the highest
minimum wage isn’t a living wage in this city. (Blame our local billionaire-asssucking politicians.) When visiting bars and restaurants, don’t skimp on the tip.
MEGAN SELING
Don’t Rent a Scooter
Three companies offer e-scooter rental services in Seattle, and last year they combined for a total of 6.3 million rides. They’re very popular! But in some people’s hands, they’re also a dangerous nuisance.
The rules are simple:
Stay off sidewalks and ride in bike lanes when possible. If you ride around like an asshole, darting in and out of traffic or riding on sidewalks at full speed, you’re not only gonna piss people off, but you might be on the receiving end of a pricey hospital bill. Last year, Harborview saw more than 160 serious injuries caused by rentable e-scooters and e-bikes. Some riders have died. Some riders have been involved in road rage incidents. You’d be better off walking or taking public transportation.
MEGAN SELING
Okay, Fine, Rent a Scooter, but Don’t Throw It off a Bridge
Fine. Rent a scooter. They can be convenient, and there are a lot of hills here. But do NOT leave your scooter in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking a crosswalk, or blocking a bike lane. And definitely do not throw it off a bridge. People do that! And you know what? It’s someone’s job to go get that scooter, no matter where it ends up. Don’t make their lives harder. Park it off to the side of pathways or in a designated scooter or bike parking area. MEGAN SELING
Don’t Wait in Line for More than 15 Minutes at Hey Bagel
It’s true that Hey Bagel, the new-this-year bagel shop in the University Village, offers some of the best New York-style bagels you’ll find in Seattle. They’re baked fresh throughout the day and sold warm. They don’t cut ’em, they don’t toast ’em, they don’t make ’em into sandwiches—you get a bagel and a little container of cream cheese and just rip ’n’ dip right there in the shop. That said, if you want a more varied bagel experience, or if the line at Hey Bagel is more than 15 minutes or so, head to Bloom Bistro in Georgetown. According to a recent blind taste test at The Stranger offices, they’re just as good, if not a little better! And they’ll make ’em into fancy sandwiches stacked high with all kinds of fillings, too. MEGAN SELING
Don’t Depend on Public Restrooms, They Don’t Exist
Shit happens, but not in Seattle. Our city is actually notorious for having very few (and very inadequate) public restrooms. The most recent count, reported by Fox 13 in February, stands at 100. For the whole city! New York has more than a thousand! That’s about how many Starbucks stores we have! How embarrassing. MEGAN SELING
Don’t You Dare Speak One Word on the Bus
When you step onto a King County Metro Bus, you will notice no one is talking. We like to keep it this way. If anyone takes a phone call, or—god forbid—strikes up a conversation with their seat partner, everyone on the bus will listen, and we
will judge. We want to hear every pin drop and every inhale and exhale so we know we are alive. But don’t mistake our interest in life for an actual interest in life on the bus. If there is conversation, people might get the wrong idea that we’re a big, bustling metropolis instead of a sleepy fishing village—an identity we still cling to. We cannot have that. If you see something, do not fucking say something. Keep it quiet.
NATHALIE GRAHAM
Stay the Fuck Away From Bike Lanes
Unless you’re a local, stay far away from our bike lanes. We see bike lane abuse all day, every day—people drive in them, park in them, and leave their rented scooters or e-bikes blocking the paths. Things have gotten so bad, in fact, Seattleites have started several social
media accounts dedicated to shaming bad bike lane behavior. Don’t become a viral post on Bluesky. Stay the fuck away from bike lanes if you don’t know what you’re doing.
MEGAN SELING
Don’t Be a Jerk for No Reason
Look, there’s a lot to be bummed about, we get it. We all have stuff going on in our personal lives. It costs $290 to leave the house. No one here understands how a roundabout works. We’re not even going to mention the news. And yeah, sometimes the idea of other people is downright annoying. That said, it’s time to get over ourselves a little, no? Seattle might be dark and soggy eight months out of the year, but if we all put a little effort into being a little friendlier (or, bare minimum, not glaring at people you
pass on the sidewalk), we might be onto something. EMILY NOKES
Don’t Use an Umbrella
It’s not that we’re against umbrellas. Some locals love them! We have an annual music and arts festival named after them! But umbrella use in Seattle is a privilege, not a right. Every day, we’re subject to bumbling bumbershoot carriers strolling through crowded spots like Pike Place Market and farmers markets with their umbrellas at full mast, with little to no regard for who’s standing nearby. Hundreds of Seattleites lose an eye every rainy season due to tourists’ umbrella negligence (probably), and even more umbrella carriers lose a tooth after getting punched in the face by a disgruntled local. Best not to risk it, just brave the rain. MEGAN SELING
BIKE LANES : Literally just for bikes! And scooters, if you must.
RYAN
SUMMER FESTIVALS
Seattle’s Best Summer Fests and Arts Events
Chateau Ste. Michelle
Summer Concert Series 2025
MULTIPLE DATES, MAY 24–SEPT 21
Every year, Chateau Ste. Michelle lays out a full summer season of music legends and cultural luminaries to grace their beautiful landscape of flowing wine. From Earth, Wind & Fire to Dinosaur Jr. to Maren Morris, this stacked lineup occurs in single shows every few days from May to September, many of which quickly sell out. So head over to Woodinville, do a free tour and tasting (hell, you’re already there!),
and buy tickets to see some of America’s pop-culture greats. I, for one, can’t wait to hear droves of wine-drunk boomers sing along to “Baby, I Love Your Way” when Peter Frampton stops by on June 13.
(Chateau St. Michelle Winery, Woodinville, all ages, visit our calendar at thestranger. com for the full lineup) AUDREY VANN
Marymoor Live 2025
MULTIPLE DATES, MAY 27–SEPT 18
Pack up your picnic gear and head over to King County’s oldest (and largest) park this summer for Marymoor’s annual outdoor
This year’s BUMBERSHOOT lineup is selling major nostalgia— and opportunities for mass singalongs—with headliners Weezer.
concert series. Big names like punk’s godfather Iggy Pop, West Coast hip-hop legends Cypress Hill, indie-rock giants Band of Horses with Iron & Wine, and electronic-rock heavies Phantogram with STRFKR grace the spacious tree-framed lawn. And, if the names themselves aren’t enough to get you to drive to Redmond, know that these shows are typically accompanied by gorgeous sunsets and the occasional bald eagle sighting. (Marymoor Park, all ages, Redmond, visit our calendar at thestranger.com for the full lineup) AUDREY VANN
BECU ZooTunes
MULTIPLE DATES, JUNE 12–SEPT 3 ZooTunes is a 40-plus-year summer tradition that brings big-name artists to the Woodland Park Zoo’s bucolic North Meadow to raise money for the zoo’s animal care, conservation programs, and education. This year’s program is bigger and better than ever with highlights like folk icons Gillian Welch & David Rawlings, new wave puppet boys Devo, indie Americana gem Waxahatchee, alt-rock favorites Wilco, and indie-pop project Japanese Breakfast. Plus, this is a kid-friendly event!
July 10 - August 14 Free to the Community
4TH ANNUAL SUMMER
PRESENTED BY VOLUNTEER PARK TRUST
ALL THURSDAY PERFORMANCES ARE FROM 6-8:30PM
Photo: 2x GRAMMY Award® winning artist Sara Gazarek at Volunteer Park Trust’s Summer Series at the Amphitheater 2024, Merrill Images.
One of my earliest memories is gnawing on a licorice rope while watching Aimee Mann perform at ZooTunes. If you’re attending without kids, lucky you—there will be two beer gardens and plenty of kettle corn. (Woodland Park Zoo, all ages, visit our calendar at thestranger.com for the full lineup) AUDREY VANN
Queer/Pride Festival
2025
JUNE 27–29
This event is sort of like if Seattle PrideFest got tangled up in the Capitol Hill Block Party. Outside of Queer/Bar, gaggles of queer icons will take the outdoor stage with music, drag, and burlesque performances. After last year’s lineup with Tegan and Sara, Santigold, and Rico Nasty, it was hard to imagine what could top that, but they did it again! “Nasty” pop star Tinashe, the notorious Lil’ Kim, meme-turned-hyperpop princess Rebecca Black, Real Housewives royalty Countess Luann, and reality TV legend Heidi Montag. Plus, RuPaul’s Drag Race stars Sasha Colby, Nymphia Wind, Onya Nurve, Lexi Love, Bosco, Mirage, Irene the Alien, and Arrietty the Elf will goop and gag the crowd alongside local drag talent. (11th Ave between E Pike St and Pine St on Capitol Hill, 21+) AUDREY VANN
Gobble Up
SUN, JUNE 29
The indie craft show Urban Craft Uprising first launched their annual specialty food show Gobble Up during the winter holiday season, but there’s no reason that an array of tasty small-batch products should be relegated to the wintertime, so they’ve added this summer edition with more than 80 small businesses and food trucks, offering everything from New Zealandstyle “real fruit” soft serve to Argentinian empanadas. Your loved ones will surely appreciate gifts like hand-thrown pottery, Twin Peaks-inspired earrings, and floral watercolor paintings—or just treat yourself to something special. (Lake Union Park, 10 am–5 pm, free, all ages) JULIANNE BELL
Seattle PrideFest
JUNE 29–30
Claiming the title of “largest free pride festival in the country,” Seattle PrideFest takes over Capitol Hill with a street fair and performers on Saturday, and then organizes the parade on Sunday from Westlake Park to Seattle Center. Our
favorite moment is when everyone from the parade inevitably ends up in the International Fountain for a sparkly, wet dance party. This year, organizers are asking the public to help cover the free event’s basic costs. They say, like so many LGBTQ organizations across the country, they “are seeing a loss of about 1/3 of our sponsorship funding,” which adds up to about $75,000. Visit seattlepridefest.org if you want to pitch in. (Various locations, free, all ages) SHANNON LUBETICH
Ballard SeafoodFest
JULY 11–13
Originally started as a celebration of the neighborhood’s fishing industry in 1974, the Ballard SeafoodFest has expanded over the years to include an alder-smoked salmon barbecue, art exhibits, a craft beer garden, artisan craft vendors, a skateboarding showcase, kids’ activities, and live music. This year’s music lineup features “ugly pop” sibling group Skating Polly, Sarah Tudzin’s self-described “tenderpunk” project Illuminati Hotties, psych rockers Spirit Award, and soulful singer Sir Woman, among many others. Masochists can enroll in the lutefisk eating contest, an annual competition to see who can scarf down the most of the
The best part of SEATTLE PRIDEFEST is when everyone from the parade inevitably ends up in the International Fountain for a sparkly, wet dance party.
salty, gelatinous fish. (NW Market St and Ballard Ave NW in Ballard, free, all ages)
Seattle Festival of Dance + Improvisation
MULTIPLE DATES, JULY 13–AUG 10
This immersive, month-long foray into Seattle’s dance community offers unique opportunities to watch, study, and learn alongside other movement artists. The Seattle Festival of Dance + Improvisation has helped dancers build community in the Pacific Northwest for nearly 30 years—this time around, they’ll offer cohort-based intensives (who will “spend three weeks working toward a live performance at 12th Ave Arts”), plus drop-in classes and workshops for novices and experienced practitioners alike. (Velocity Dance Center, visit summer.velocitydancecenter.org for schedules and registration) LINDSAY COSTELLO
Seattle Art Fair
JULY 17–20
Returning to Lumen Field for the ninth year, Seattle Art Fair will continue to offer Seattleites the opportunity to see cool,
cutting-edge contemporary artwork from all over the world without leaving town. Plenty of local institutions and artists get involved as well, making for a jam-packed weekend of incredible art-viewing opportunities. The fair promises to be a bit like recent years—a hectic four days of avant-garde, artsy goodness that rivals its pre-pandemic days—with to-be-announced public projects and gallerists visiting from near and far. (Lumen Field, all ages) LINDSAY COSTELLO
Capitol Hill Block Party 2025
JULY 19–20
This year, CHBP offers a treasure trove of Gen Z favorites and, for the first time ever, the festival is 21+. Droves of festival-goers will crowd the streets of Capitol Hill to see lineup highlights like prolific producer/ neo-funk king Thundercat, Anderson .Paak’s DJ alias Pee .Wee, electronic producer Porter Robinson, and hyperpop duo 100 gecs. This isn’t your typical lounge-in-the-grass-type music festival, but rather, a bustling dance party that involves several stages—both indoors and outdoors—that are nestled within the city streets. (E Pike St between Broadway and 12th Ave on Capitol Hill, 21+) AUDREY VANN
JULIANNE BELL
The Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire
MULTIPLE DATES, JULY 19–AUG 17
Nothing says summer like chainmail and wool tunics!! Whether you’re there for the Middle Ages vibes or the unbeatable people-watching, the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire (or “Merriwick” for these purposes) is always a mead-guzzlin’ good time. Harkening back to when musicians, jugglers, and falconers all caroused together, the fantasy-loving festival (led by a faerie court) will take place on weekends in July and August. Show up to feast on meat pies, obtain trinkets and baubles, and generally party like you survived the bubonic plague. (Sky Meadows Park, Snohomish, free–$39.95, all ages) LINDSAY COSTELLO
Timber! Outdoor Music Festival 2025
JULY 24–26
Popular outdoor music festival Timber! is back for a very full weekend of crowdfriendly folk, rock, and pop performances, as well as all-ages activities like camping, kayaking, and stargazing. This year’s lineup includes folk troubadour M. Ward, indie-rock trio Dehd, retro cumbia revivers Los Bitchos, and Seattle’s own Damien Jurado. Performances will be split between the main stage, the more intimate Campfire stage, and Camp Timber for kids’ and group activities. (Tolt-MacDonald Park, all ages) AUDREY VANN
Bite of Seattle
JULY 25–27
Seattle boasts plenty of food and drink festivals year-round, but Bite of Seattle—billed as “Seattle’s original and largest food and beverage showcase” and claiming to draw 355,000 guests each year—is the most well-known gluttonous gathering by far, having been in business since 1982. Look forward to upwards of 300 food vendors, as well as beer and wine gardens, retail vendors, cider tastings, kids’ activities, live cooking demos, and more than 65 musical performers. Artists include punk-infused instrumentalists mega cat, powerhouse vocalist Shaina Shepherd, rock-and-rollers the Moondoggies, rapper Oblé Reed, and “funk juggernaut” Eldridge Gravy & the Court Supreme. (Seattle Center, 305 Harrison St, free, all ages) JULIANNE BELL
Urban Craft Uprising
JULY 26–27
Urban Craft Uprising has blossomed from its humble, 50-booth beginnings in 2005, now billing itself as the largest indie craft event in the Pacific Northwest. (Judging by the show’s consistently strong turnouts, it ain’t lying.) This year, they’ll bring a two-day summer show back to Magnuson Park Hangar 30, where you can hide from the sun for a couple of hours while snatching up crafty wares by indie artists and bites from on-site food trucks. Serving up a thoughtful alternative to mass-marketed trinkets and big box stores, the show promises all the resin earrings and chunky ceramics my heart desires—and I have a gut feeling you’ll find something nifty, too. (Magnuson Park Hangar 30, 6310 NE 74th St, free, all ages) LINDSAY COSTELLO
THING Festival 2025
MULTIPLE DATES, AUG 2–23
Since its start in 2019, the THING Festival has filled the Sasquatch-shaped void in Washington State, bringing the biggest names in music to scenic open-air locations outside of the city (the festival started in Port Townsend but moved to Carnation’s Remlinger Farms last year). THING is once again changing things up this year, moving from a weekend-long bash to a series of concerts sprinkled throughout the month. While this festival’s new design has caused a few angry Instagram comments, I personally think it’s a solution to shrink crowds and minimize ticket prices. Plus, the lineup is still grander than your average small-town
globe, Seattle is home to PAX West every Labor Day weekend. This massive video game convention and celebration of all things gaming and geek boasts panels with yet-to-be-announced special guests, new game demonstrations, hands-on activities, and an exhibit hall with booths spanning every fandom. Tickets can be on the pricey side, but there are always lots of fun (and cheaper) affiliated parties going on around town. (Various locations, visit west.paxsite.com for tickets and the full schedule) SHANNON LUBETICH
Bumbershoot 2025
AUG 30–31
arts fest with genre-spanning musical highlights like masked cowboy Orville Peck, indie-rock bad boy Father John Misty, indie-folk angel (and the queen of my heart) Jessica Pratt, dream-pop project the Japanese House, indie-rock matriarch Soccer Mommy, Chilean-Mexican singer-songwriter Mon Laferte, and alt-hip-hop legends the Roots. If you need a break from the crowds, a shopping market, food vendors, a microbrewery, and carnival rides offer respite. (Remlinger Farms, Carnation, all ages) AUDREY VANN
Seattle Tattoo Expo
AUG 15–17
Peep impressive tattoo displays, shop counterculture vendors, and engage in a little lighthearted flesh adornment at this three-day celebration of permanently decorated bodies. The Seattle Tattoo Expo has brought enthusiasts and professional ink-givers together for over 20 years; attendees can thrill their eyeballs at a tattooed burlesque revue or enter contests for best color tats, black-and-white designs, and more. (There’ll be a competition for the worst tattoo, too, so roll up your sleeves and whip out your blurry anchors and tributes to Mom.) (Seattle Center, 305 Harrison St, $30–$70, all ages) LINDSAY COSTELLO
PAX West 2025
AUG 29–SEPT 1
Unsurprisingly, PAX (originally the “Penny Arcade Expo”) was started right here in our neck of the woods back in 2004. Now with multiple annual meet-ups across the
As a Seattle native, I grew up attending Bumbershoot before I knew what the word itself meant (it’s a synonym for umbrella, if you still aren’t in the know). That’s why I am so glad to see that the long-running music and arts fest is back for good after taking a hiatus from 20192023. Given the festival’s history, it’s only fitting that this year’s lineup is selling major nostalgia with a headlining set from Weezer—whom I saw at the festival back in 2010—performing their debut self-titled album (commonly known as the Blue Album). Other highlights include Janelle Monáe (who should be the headliner, in my opinion), Car Seat Headrest, Bright Eyes, Sylvan Esso, and Aurora. Personally, I am most excited to see the jazz-rap trio Digable Planets perform their seminal 1994 album, Blowout Comb. (Seattle Center, 305 Harrison St, $125-$800, all ages) AUDREY VANN
Modest Mouse Presents: Psychic Salamander Festival
SEPT 13–14
I initially wrote off this festival because of Issaquah-born rockers Modest Mouse leading the bill. You can call me a hater all you want, but these guys have songs in credit card commercials and are currently hosting their own cruise—they don’t need my support! The real stars of the Psychic Salamander Festival are lower on the bill: Aussie indie-rock gem Courtney Barnett, Boise legends Built to Spill, feminist rock duo Sleater-Kinney, and Hoboken’s favorite jammers, Yo La Tengo. The Flaming Lips are also playing on both days, which is also great, if you’re into that kind of thing. (Remlinger Farms, Carnation, all ages) AUDREY VANN
There is a contest for worst tattoo at the SEATTLE TATTOO EXPO
HOW SEATTLE ARE YOU?
Congratulations! You made it to the end of The Stranger’s How to Seattle workbook. Now that you’ve learned all about how to
Seattle, it’s time to find out how Seattle you are. Simply write in your totals from the first seven sections of this guide in the circles below, and add them up to get your Seattleite Score™. Then, use the corresponding chart to see if you’re a Rainier-chugging jojo-muncher or just another poser.
0–25
ARE YOU SURE YOU VISITED SEATTLE? Really? Are you sure you didn’t get turned around on I-5 and end up in Portland? It happens. People get us all confused all the time. Go check your map and try again.
26–50
OKAY, NOT BAD. Not great, either, but you’re doing better than most of the conservative fuckos who fly in for a weekend, drive straight to Bellevue, eat at a Panera, and call it good because they’re too “freaked out” (misinformed) to actually experience the real city where they might encounter graffiti or a person without a blowout.
51–80
LOOK AT YOU! You’re really giving this whole Seattle thing a go! Before you know it, you’ll have a vitamin D deficiency and a Tesla with an anti-Elon bumper sticker.
81–101
HOT DAMN! Or, as we in Seattle like to say, hot clam! Just kidding, of course, but you already knew that. You are as Seattle as they come. You know how to use democracy vouchers, you’ve got strong feelings about whether or not the Sonics should return, and you have a KEXP and a Sub Pop sticker on your reusable water bottle. One of us, one of us! We accept you, we accept you!
