WOMEN OF THE 2013 PINK WALK CALENDAR Dr Libby Weaver’s Green Smoothie Recipe for Summer TRY THE OGO THIS SUMMER NEW MUM BLOG DOUBLE FEATURE - BABY WEARING - BABY LED WEANING
LOOK AFTER ME WORK PLACEMENT ALAN SOLOMAN THE IMPORTANCE OF MENTORING
Planning a summer wedding in Rotorua
48 New mum blog: Double feature Planning a Rotorua wedding
10 2013 Rotorua pink walk calendar
04. Letter from the Editor Read what Lou Parker has to say about this month’s issue of Nevaeh!
10. 2013 Rotorua Pink Walk Calendar 12 strong women from around Rotorua featured in the 2013 Rotorua Pink Walk Calendar.
05. Inbox All of your feedback including the letter of the month.
22. Planning a Rotorua Wedding Your guide to planning a wedding in Rotorua this summer, from dresses to wedding cars.
06. What’s On We look at what events, activities and shows are happening in Rotorua this November.
37. Women In Work - Work Placement Working for free, in exchange for work experience with Look After Me.
08. 2012 Rotorua Pink Walk It’s that time of the year again Rotorua locals gather to support Breast Cancer Awareness.
42. Know Your Rights - with Paula Lines Our expert Paula Lines from The Law Shop answers your legal questions.
44. Mentors In this month’s column Alan Solomon talks about the importance of good mentoring.
53. Spiritual Connection Resident medium Andy connects one lucky Nevaeh reader with a family member.
46. What’s Hot and What’s Not Lady Spy’s monthly view on anything and everything hot and….Not - Baby Edition.
54. New Mum Blog Part 2 Part two of this month’s double feature - the challenges of Baby Led Weaning.
48. New Mum Blog Part 1 One woman’s experience of parenting. Part one of this month’s double feature - baby wearing.
56. December 2012 Horoscopes Check out what the stars have in store for you this month?
50. Natural Remedies The benefits of broccoli - an excellent source of vitamins C, K and A, folate and dietary fibre.
58. Burning Questions Nevaeh’s resident know it all answers your burning questions!
51. Recipe: Dr Libby’s Green Smoothie A great recipe to start the day with from Dr Libby’s “Real Food Chef” cook book.
60. Monthly Confessions Readers spill their secrets - those things you’ve been dying to tell someone.
52. Great Gift Ideas Christmas is on the horizon, check out this month’s gift idea from Nevaeh.
61. The Weird, The Wacked and The Wonderful Bizarre facts to impress people with at your next quiz night.
Rotorua Drycleaners have moved
Now at 15 Sunset Road • Laundry Service • Clothing Repairs • Alterations • Bridal/Evening Wear • Shower Proofing • Blankets/Duvets • Leather/Suede • Woolrests • Sleeping Bags • Sheepskins • Pressing
Phone: (07) 347 7197 www.rotoruadrycleaners.co.nz
Editor’s Letter Wow is it time to go on holiday yet? It’s been a bit of a whirlwind for Nevaeh this year! Nevaeh was launched at the end of May this year and so far we have covered some pretty amazing things.
Have a great Christmas and New Year, keep safe over summer and remember to eat and drink heaps! Lou Parker xx
This issue is no exception and is, as usual jampacked with many fantastic reads. Nevaeh checked out how the Rotorua Pink Walk went and showcase the annual Pink Walk Calendar that the Rotorua MediaWorks crew put together. With Christmas coming up it makes a great gift so if you’re interested in purchasing one you can buy them from MediaWorks at 1294 Ranolf Street Rotorua, with all proceeds going to the Rotorua Breast Cancer Trust – calendars are just five dollars. Also this month we take a look at weddings with a comprehensive feature that makes sure you’re covered with everything you need to complete the perfect wedding! I’m also happy to announce that Nevaeh will be making some changes over the New Year which will see our format change slightly. Instead of a monthly magazine we will have a constant news feed through our Facebook page www.facebook.com/NevaehMagazine This means you can catch up on all your favourite articles, features and must haves as they come through! Also watch out for our new blog page coming soon too. Thank you for your support and readership. We really look forward to your company again next year.
design print web Chris Parnell and Natalie Bufton from CG Design, happy to be the design team behind Nevaeh.
MOLLY CHATTELL, CREATIVE DIRECTOR
LOU PARKER, EDITOR
Inbox: Your Feedback Letter of the Month
Thank you for the lovely article on Dr Julia Charity – it was extremely inspirational. It’s great to hear of a single mother defying all barriers to achieve her dreams to make a good life for her and her child.
Like the magazine, my new baby boy is also six months old too and as a mother I have really enjoyed reading Neveah over the last few months. When I do have a little down time it’s nice to relax and catch up on local stories. I especially love the ‘New Mum Blog’ which always makes me laugh as there’s so much of my own experiences in it that I can relate to. From Debbie
As a single mother myself, the article gave me the motivation to finally look into my own business plan which is something I have been putting off for a long time. I was touched by the courage Julia showed especially when at times there were so many barriers in her way. It was a great read and has given me the strength I need to achieve my own dreams. Thank you Julia, and best of luck with the rest of your journey. From Emily
Dear Nevaeh, With the weather warming up I was stoked to see a feature on summer hair styles. The three simple step styles gave me some great ideas on how I can wear my hair, especially when it’s so hot and you don’t want your hair annoying you. I had a few girlfriends over and we tried the hair do’s out on each other…was lots of fun and looked awesome! From Fiona
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Dear Nevaeh, One word for Dr Libby’s Satay Chicken Salad recipe…delicious!! It was so good I had to buy her cook book. I was very impressed – keep the yummy recipes coming. From Nadia
Email your feedback to email@example.com
Whatâ€™s on in November
21 Arts Mad Rotorua Arts Village (RAVE) 5:30pm-7:30pm
These events were brought to you by rotoruanz.com & eventfinder.co.nz
Beatlemania on Tour Rotorua Civic Theatre 8:00pm-12:00pm
Festival in the Garden Palmers Garden World 5:30pm-8:00pm
Rotorua Night Market Tutanekai Street, Rotorua From 5pm
Chicago Auditions (24th - 27th) AMJAZZ Dance Studios (Dancers) & Casa Blanca Theatre (Singers)
Nigel Latta - Parenting the 0-10’s Rotorua Civic Theatre 7:30pm-12:00pm
25 Rotorua Spring Fair Hamurana Springs Recreation Reserve, 10:00am – 2:00pm
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do Casa Blanca Theatre 23rd November - 8th December, Times vary.
Rowlinson Honda Phone: 07 3484100 51 Fairy Springs Road
“Fashion to live life in”
(07) 348 7682, 1281 Tutanekai Street
Images courtesy of Gotya Photography and Rotorua Breast Cancer Trust
The 2012 Rotorua Pink Walk Fun, food and a sea of pink marked a special celebration on October 31. With the iconic Rotorua Pink Walk marking its 5th birthday, the event turned out to be a milestone in more ways than one. Rotorua Breast Cancer trustee and chairperson Sue Winters said the event had the biggest turnout to date. “We had about 2000 people turn up which is an absolute record,” said Mrs Winters. Over 60 per cent more people turned up to the Village Green to attend the 2012 Pink Walk compared to last year. “The awareness around Rotorua is huge. I’m absolutely delighted and overwhelmed by the generosity.” This awareness was reflected in the fundraising total with the trust having raised close to $10,000 from the Rotorua Pink Walk.
Over the last 5 years the Rotorua Breast Cancer Trust has funded gift baskets, grocery baskets, petrol vouchers and housekeeping for Breast Cancer sufferers. The trust has also subsidised programmes such as Pink Pilates, Encore, Meditation and Guest Speakers which can now benefit so many more people thanks to the support from Rotorua. “It was a great night out for the whole family,” said Andy George, More FM breakfast announcer, who MC’d the event with his cohost Lou Parker. Locals were encouraged to dress up in pink bras, hats, tops, shoes and basically anything pink, and gather at the Lake Front in a movement to remember and embrace all those wonderful women who have been affected by breast cancer. “I couldn’t believe how amazing the costumes were. The amount of effort put into some of them was truly incredible,” said Mr George.
I couldn’t believe how amazing the costumes were. The amount of effort put into some of them was truly incredible The entertainment - in the form of singers and Zumba kicked off at 5pm with the 3.2km walk around the Village Green starting at 6pm. All proceeds raised from the Pink Walk stay directly in Rotorua. The funding supports those in Rotorua who have been affected by Breast Cancer, including sufferers and their families. “The support takes many forms and is often customised to the needs of the recipient,” said Mrs Winters By Lou Parker
2013 Rotorua Pink Walk Calandar
Alexis LewGor Alexis LewGor is a German/Samoan/Chinese/Fijian New Zealander. She loves all things multicultural and finds joy and challenge in assisting migrants settle into New Zealand. Alexis says â€œWe just navigate the world with our language, delicious foods, great music and big families. At the end of the day, we want what everyone else wants: to get aheadâ€?. In the last 5 years, Alexis has lost 3 friends to breast cancer. January Sponsor: GREAT KIWI ALE HOUSE
Megan Dimozantos Megan began riding mountain bikes 8 years ago and now competes in endurance racing. In 2012 Megan competed in one of the most gruelling mountain bike stage races in the world, the Cape Epic in South Africa - 800km of racing over 8 days. She then went on to place 3rd in the elite female category of the 24 Hour Solo World Championships in Italy. Her blog and motivational talks are widely followed. February Sponsor: NDURO
Pam Shanks Pam acquired her dance studio â€˜Amjazzâ€™ in 1995 when the original owner passed away from breast cancer. When Pam obtained the studio the roll had only 60 students. Over the past 15 years, with help from her daughter Nikki, her family and the Amjazz families her roll has now reached over 400 students. Amjazz has wonderful new facilities for which Pam thanks all the dancers that support the studio. March Sponsor: HARVEY WORLD TRAVEL
Lynn Clark Lynn Clark drives logging trucks for Rotorua Forest Haulage. Lynn has been driving trucks for 27 years (ever since she was 18 years old) and has been driving logging trucks for the past 15 years. As Lynn lives a very busy lifestyle staying healthy and cancer free is very important to her. She is proud to support the Rotorua Breast Cancer Trust by being represented as a strong woman. April Sponsor: FRANKLIN SCRAP
Amber Fleet Amber Jane Fleet is a married, mother of three children. At the age of 13 Amber was an out of control teenager, causing her parents to place her in Child, Youth & Family Services. In 2008 Amber decided to become a CYFS caregiver herself and share her own changes in life, with other children that require love and attention. Amber finds caregivingÂ challenging, rewarding and often heart breaking. May Sponsor: PURE CHIC
Jillene Moore Jillene originally trained and worked as a nurse at Rotorua hospital before becoming a mother of four. 16 years ago Jillene became a fire-fighter/rescue worker. In her down time she has created a small lavender farm. The futures of Jillene’s beautiful daughters, daughters’ in-law and granddaughters are her reason for supporting the Rotorua Breast Cancer Trust. June Sponsor: PHOENIX PROPERTY
Susan Brunton When Susan started she knew nothing about pipes, cesspits, manholes or dealing with drain layers, contractors and councils. Her journey began at Hynds Avondale. She is now Branch Manager of Hynds Rotorua.Â Cancer has taken some of Susanâ€™s close family members so she is glad to have the chance to support families requiring services from the Rotorua Breast Cancer Trust in the future. July Sponsor: HYNDS PIPE SYSTEMS
Jessica Caldwell Ever since a very young age, Jess has had a great love for animals. She had the great privilege of studying Veterinary Science at Massey University and is currently living her dream of being a vet, right here in Rotorua at Central City Vets. Her strength comes from faith in God and the support of family and friends. She is very happy to be a part of the Rotorua Pink Calendar. August Sponsor: HEPBURN ELECTRICAL
Annette Joyce As the principal of Rotorua Girls High School, Annette has been involved in education for almost 49 years. Girls’ schools lead the drive into the 21st century with an overall belief in individual rights, “Every Girl Counts,” and an unswerving belief in the benefit of school Wellness Centres. Annette says, “We enable young women to be stronger in their sense of self-worth and support of each other.” September Sponsor: CONSTRUCTION TRADE TRAINING CENTRE
Karen Gardiner Karen has been an independent midwife for 16 years, working on call 24/7. Tragically Karen’s daughter Kristi-Rae died in a car crash in July 2010 at the age of 18. Karen struggled to deal with the loss wanted to finish her career but soon realised she couldn’t give, there were women needing midwives. Karen rarely takes time out for herself, the only real “me time” she gets is when she rides her Harley. October Sponsor: RELAX SPA
Janeen Whitmore Janeen Whitmore joined St John in Marton in 1984 as a volunteer ambulance officer before relocating to St John in Reporoa. As her children got older she was able to take on the job full time. Janeen is now working as a Paramedic for St John in Rotorua. She appreciates the hard work the Breast Cancer Society does and the great support they offer patients and their families afflicted by the battle they endure. November Sponsor: Gutherie Bowron
Beatrice Yates / Aunty Bea Whánau, hápu and iwi are very supportive when it pertains to health issues especially cancer. For the Rotorua Breast Cancer Trust we unite to support kaupapa (the worthy cause). We remember our dear friend Charlie Pound who encouraged me to fundraise for the Rotorua and Waikato cancer societies. “Chas” you will never be forgotten. Kia Kaha to all of you who have suffered and are all still suffering. December Sponsor: REDWOODS VISITOR CENTRE
Are you Planning a Rotorua Wedding This Summer?
Venues, dresses, hair, makeup, shoes...
Check out the Nevaeh summer wedding guide! 22
1 2 3 4 4
1 2 3 4
The Band Rotunda, Government Gardens Te Runanga Tea House, Government Gardens Under The Sails, The Redwoods The Orchard, Lake Tarawera
Have you booked entertai
Check out Sophistafunk M usic and Media - a boutique music and m edia business that specializes in providin g entertainment services for all kinds of ev ents www.sophistafunkmusic.co m
Phone: 021 300 497 Web: www.miss2mrs.co.nz Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Facebook: www.facebook.com/miss2mrs Are you going from Miss to Mrs and looking for the perfect wedding gown? Well at Miss 2 Mrs, ball and Bridal wear you can have the perfect dress custom made for you for under a thousand dollars. For custom made gowns, click on Miss 2 Mrs Ball and Bridal wear on Facebook or check out at www.miss2mrs.co.nz
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For dream bridal wear for your big day, visit Jian Ping Bridal Boutique, with a wide range of bridal gowns, dresses and suits for the whole bridal party.
Already found your dream dress but itâ€™s in a magazine? Just bring the photo in and we can make it for you.
1201 Eruera Street, Rotorua, Next to T & T Childrenswear
RAPUNZEL - Alfred Angelo Disney Fairytale Wedding Collection (Available from Jian Ping Bridal Boutique) Hair and Makeup by Pout Makeup Artists - Hair Stylists
Hair, Makeup & Nails Wedding / Ball Special Package
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POUT MAKEUP ARTISTS - HAIR STYLISTS Special Occacions; Weddings, Balls, Costumes, Theatre, Fashion & Modelling Shows
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All Hair Services, Hairups, Makeup, Eyelash Extensions, Tinting, Waxing, Facials, Acrylic Nails, Gel polish, Pedicures, Manicures 279 Te Ngae Road, Rotorua To contact the team at Pure Chic call (07) 345 7254 Or send them an email to firstname.lastname@example.org Photos are available for viewing on their Facebook page www.facebook.com/pages/PURE-CHIC-Hair-Nails-Makeup/138957272803197
s e o h S e Th Odessa Eve - Balck & Purple $59.99
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CENTRAL ROTORUA Shop 24 Rotorua Central Mall Amohau St Rotorua Ph: (07) 348 4944
Number One Shoes is New Zealandâ€™s biggest footwear retailer with the largest range of sandals, fashion boots, slippers, gumboots, approved school shoes, sport, and WEDDING SHOES!
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ON LOCATION & STUDIO STYLE PHOTOGRAPHY Email email@example.com for information and pricing. Portfolio available at www.lillybettyphotography.blogspot.co.nz Or check out Lilly Betty Photography on Facebook at www.facebook.com/LillyBettyPhotography
Kaleidoscope Studio We offer a range of wedding packages which can be tailored to suit your requirements. Full wedding coverage - Photography of preparation, bride and bridesmaids, groom and groomsmen, pre-ceremony, through to first dance... And everything in-between including scene detail and candid photos.
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Looking for a something different for your wedding car? Contact your local Hot Rod Club or Classic Car Club to see if any of the owners would be happy for you to use their vehicles.
Some drivers will ask for a donation towards running costs – but our thoughts are ‘if you don’t ask you don’t get.’
Wedding & Special Occasion Limousine Hire Xquizit Limousines provides high quality, luxury travel in the Rotorua, Whakatane, Taupo, Taumarunui, Te Kuiti, Hamilton, Waihi, Coromandel, Matamata, Cambridge for your special day. We offer you a choice of two 7 passenger stretched limousines with black leather upholstery, entertainment centre and bar and they are â€œdressedâ€? for the occasion. The whole wedding party is important to us so you are assured that we will provide you with high quality service to help make your wedding day a truly memorable one. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Phone: 0800 89 LIMO (0800 895 466) Web: www.xquizit.co.nz
Harvey World Travel
Weddings, Honeymoons Romance
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Create a register for your dream honeymoon with your wife or husband to be. At Harvey World Travel Rotorua we will provide you with a professional Bridal Registry Pack for you to send out with your wedding invitations. The bridal registry cards invite guests to use the Harvey World Travel registry as their wedding gift to the bridal couple.
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Wedding Co-ordinator Sarah Browne from Harvey World Travel Rotorua is our Wedding Specialist. Sarah travels to Fiji and the Cook Islands regularly to update herself with all the Resorts and their Wedding facilities. Call in and discuss your wedding & honeymoon requirements with Sarah.
Harvey World Travel Rotorua is passionate about working with you to ensure your wedding and honeymoon is a dream come true. Contact us today! Harvey World Travel Rotorua 1235 Tutanekai Street, Phone: (07) 349 4130 Email: email@example.com
Look After Me
Helen Cunningham had no idea that her response to a tiny advertisement in Rotorua’s Weekender would change her life. Enticed by the ‘Knock Knock, Who’s There?’ headline, the job advert was an ‘opportunity’ to work for free, in exchange for work experience.
“As an employer, you’re always looking for aptitude and competency, but occasionally you see raw potential. The moment I met her, I knew she was capable of so much more than her meagre CV portrayed. Helen has this real inner beauty,” said Dr Charity.
“I had nothing to lose really,” recalls Helen – an effervescent 22 year old Rotorua woman who has been out of regular paid employment for over three years.
Dr Charity recruited Helen as her Personal Assistant and initially gave her simple tasks like word processing, letter/email writing, filing, sorting and organising.
With a raft of circumstances that limited her ability to work fulltime, Helen was keen and ready to work again but lacked the confidence and experience to apply for some of the local jobs on offer.
With Helen’s appetite for learning and computer competency, she soon trained Helen to load new host properties on to the website and take on increased responsibility in customer service.
Employer, Dr Julia Charity who founded on-line accommodation network ‘Look After Me’ saw Helen’s potential.
“I really wanted to give Helen opportunities that added credibility to her CV,” says Dr Charity.
Although Dr Charity did not pay wages to her recruits, she offered small cash rewards, prizes, food and vouchers for accommodation. Dr Charity also matched tasks with the individuals’ core skills that would be of direct benefit in the work place and that they would enjoy doing. She provided a fun and friendly team environment, full training, written references and/or verbal referees to support the recruits in job applications. At the end of the placement Julia organised a celebration and Awards presentation for the recruits – introducing them into the Rotorua business community. In response to the issue about not earning any money, Helen is quick to point out the personal benefits she has received, which for her, are transformational.
Most Improved: Carmen Cartwright Look After Me Work Placement Awards. (L-R): Rona Lau, Jessica Pham, Jayne Koia, Helen Cunningham, Amrit Sharma, Carmen Cartwright, Layla Barker.
Top Recruit: Helen Cunningham
Media training opportunity for Layla at TV Rotorua. (L-R): Carlie Jackson, Layla Baker and Julia Charity.
Recruit: Layla Baker
Look After Meâ€™s first birthday and succesful website launch celebration.
Accounting Recruit: Rona Lau
“It’s changed my life. I’ve gone from someone who could spend days on end on Facebook, not quite sure what I was going to do with my life to being excited about working. I love my ‘job’ and I love being around Julia – she is the most positive person I have ever met. I just can’t stomach negativity anymore.”
She’s like a different person. I can’t believe it. Helen’s partner Jason is very supportive of Helen’s work placement. “She’s like a different person. I can’t believe it. She’s so happy,” said Jason. Helen’s other passion is marching and with the skills she has learned revitalising “Look After Me’s” Facebook page she has now created and manages her own “Rotorua Marching” Facebook page. Other flow-on benefits have been that Helen has secured part-time employment, has a lot more confidence and is thinking about moving out of home to start a new life for herself. Helen’s mother, Raewyn is also delighted in Helen’s transformation. Helen has been the primary caregiver to her mother during an 18-month battle with cancer.
After a particularly harrowing year, Raewyn has recently been restored to full health and has just returned to work herself.
“I’m so proud of Helen and all of the recruits for just giving it go and am grateful for all they have done for me.”
“Helen’s given up so much for me, but now it’s her turn to shine. I always knew there’d be something or someone out there who would see what I see – and that’s an amazing young woman with a heart of gold and willing to work,” said Raewyn.
Another recruit, Rona Lau also had no problem working for free. An accountant between jobs, she applied because she wanted to keep her existing skills up to date and learn how to use a whole new accounting programme. “You need to look long term,” said Rona, “the money will come later.”
Whipping up a work experience programme from scratch, recruiting 12 staff and giving them a six week deadline to work together to launch her new website, tested Dr Charity’s entrepreneurial skills but she was sure the benefits would pay off. Dr Charity says that she didn’t realise the success of the Work Placement Programme until the night of their first birthday party, when the team were celebrating the launch of the new website. Raewyn came up to Julia at the end of the night, put her hands on her shoulders and very quietly said, “thank you for what you’ve done for my Helen.” “It was this single moment,” says Dr Charity, “as we hugged each other and the tears flowed, that it hit me. I realised then, that this was simply about a mother’s love for her daughter. It was only as I cast myself into the future and I imagined someone doing for my daughter, Alice, what I had done for her Helen that I finally understood the gift I had unknowingly given.”
Rona prepared ‘ Look After Me’ for the year end accounts and set up new systems to enable Dr Charity to capture the necessary account information on an ongoing basis. Rona has recently secured an accountant position at Tauranga’s Aquatic Centre.
There’s no doubt this work placement helped me get that job “There’s no doubt this work placement helped me get that job,” she asserts. Kellie Hamlett of recruitment agency Talent ID said work placements were being more often considered. If done properly, this can be a real winwin situation, she said.
The team of 12, from diverse backgrounds, included migrants, school leavers, tertiary students and stay at home Mums “There are people out there that need valuable experience to get a foot in the door. There’s definite value if they can be offered a placement that’s relevant and they can get a good reference from,” said Kellie.
“I didn’t think I could do this job for a start, but I really wanted to learn some more computer skills, so I got stuck in and just did it.” For her efforts, Carmen was awarded ‘Most Improved’ Recruit at their celebration evening.
The team of 12, from diverse backgrounds, included migrants, school leavers, tertiary students and stay at home Mums like Carmen Cartwright.
Carmen is still actively looking for work and would be best suited to hospitality, or retail, as are at least three other recruits with skills in Computer IT, marketing and graphics design.
Julia says she could really relate to Carmen’s situation, also being a single Mum, doing everything she can to get off the benefit and teach her kids a good work ethic. With her experience and passion for hospitality, Julia says Carmen was a great addition to the team. “I loved Carmen’s ‘can-do’ attitude,” says Julia. Carmen started the work placement with limited computer skills. Tasked with loading property information for 20 hosts, Carmen learned at her own pace and completed not only her work, but another recruits as well. “It’s been awesome,” says Carmen.
Sixteen year old high school student Layla Barker dreams of becoming a journalist or working as a TV Reporter. Recruitment to her role as the team publicist gave Layla exposure to the real life (and deadlines!) of media, particularly the press, photographers and TV. “I’ve loved it,” says Layla. “I got a real sense of independence and responsibility, which is hard for some teenagers to get. The Awards evening, held recently in honour of the work placement programme was also a Fundraiser for Dress for Success which helps disadvantaged women to get back into the workforce.
Dress for Success sponsored the ‘Top Recruit Award’ with a full suite of their service. The top recruit was awarded to Helen Cunningham in recognition of her commitment, attitude and contributions. She received a beautiful new interview outfit, including shoes and accessories, a make-up and colour session with Carol Bannister, interview advice and confidence training. “I couldn’t believe I won!” says an elated Helen. On the morning of the Dress for Success make-over, Julia shared in the special moment as Helen looked at herself in the mirror. The young, shy recruit she’d met a few months ago had blossomed into a woman every bit as confident as she deserved to be. “She was glowing with joy. She looked absolutely beautiful.” When Neveah caught up with Helen, she was still somewhat overcome about winning the Top Recruit Award. “I totally didn’t expect all this,” she says. “It’s not just about the work experience, it’s a whole new life. I’m happy to win the Award but there were so many deserving members of the team. I reckon we were all winners in the end.”
Contact Look After Me: 0800 LAM (526) 123 www.lookafterme.co.nz
Available January 2013 This self-published book will be available January 2013. To pre-order your copy go to: www.facebook.com/pages/Where-theRainbow-Fell-Down/436425683062511
A RAW AND DEEPLY MOVING MEMOIR
A raw and deeply moving memoir beginning in midcentury New Zealand, Lynette Robinson battles to survive an upbringing profoundly impacted by poverty, family dysfunction and the Catholic Church.
PAULA LINES IS YOUR LEGAL EXPERT WHO OWNS AND OPERATES THE LAW SHOP. IF THERE’S A LEGAL MATTER ON YOUR MIND, GET TO KNOW YOUR RIGHTS WITH PAULA LINES.
If I am changing or making a Will, how long does it take to come into effect?
What age do you make a will? I am 24. All I have of value is my baby.... And maybe my car.
I have no husband. I don’t have a house yet – or anything valuable including money.
As soon as you have signed your new Will it takes effect and your prior Will is revoked (provided the new Will states it revokes prior Wills). I have my clients provide their instructions in writing that they sign. This means that if they were to die unexpectedly before signing the new Will, we can apply for Probate on the basis that the signed written instructions are their “testamentary instructions.”
Should I have a will when I actually have stuff to leave behind? Do I HAVE to make a will to say who will get my baby if something happens to me and my boyfriend? Do parents just become her new guardians? Jenna A mother is automatically a guardian of a child. A father is if the parents were married or were in a relationship at the child’s birth.
No one else will automatically become the guardian of your baby if you die but if your parents step in to raise her without any challenge from other potential guardians, they will likely not have any trouble doing that. If they needed formal guardianship they can apply to the Family Court. If you don’t have a Will your assets will be distributed under the Administration Act - in your case, personal chattels and the first $155,000 to your partner and the rest to your partner and baby to share (1/3rd and 2/3rds respectively). If this is okay with you, you probably don’t need a Will yet but if you want to make sure anything you do have goes to your baby and your parents are her guardians, make a Will.
Hi Paula, Whose responsibility is it to make sure the LIM is correct? From Gavin If you mean, “the Council’s records are correct when they issue a LIM” (i.e. they haven’t made a mistake like not recording a Code of Compliance was issued), it will be the home owners.
I do not automatically order and check all LIMs when my clients are purchasing a property as it would be an additional cost which not all purchasers want to incur.
If they choose to review it themselves, I strongly recommend that if they don’t understand it or are unsure about something they send it to me to double check.
I always recommend purchasers get a LIM and it is their choice if they want me to review it for them.
For all your legal needs see the team at The Law Shop Rotorua Ph: (07) 349 2924 www.thelawshop.co.nz
I would suggest requesting a copy of your property file (which is free if you are the home owner) to check those issues. The property file is not the LIM though so you can’t tell from that if the Council has correctly recorded that a major roading project will affect the property (as an example). You would need to order and pay for a LIM if you wanted to be sure that that type of information was recorded.
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MENTORS BY ALAN SOLOMON, Motivator and Encourager
Kia-ora Nevaeh readers. Welcome to this month’s motivational column - the fourth key to success in your life. Day-light savings is always longawaited at my house as it is another sure sign sunny summer days and Christmas is almost here. I am looking forward to a well-deserved New Year holiday and I hope you are too. To date we have covered the power in visualizing and using your imagination to make your dreams come true, the power in making decisions and putting feet to those decisions by taking action. This month’s key to success is absolutely vital – Having a mentor, or two, or three. Personally I have three mentors whom are frank, truthful and are totally straight with me and I allow them to speak into my life on a vocational, relational and spiritual level. Why? There are several reasons but I will narrow it down to six.
Encouragement - A word of encouragement from a mentor will make all the difference and will reignite the fire that is inside of you if and when its starts to fizzle. A good mentor will help you get out of the doldrums that affect all of us at some stage and will motivate you to realign yourself into the right path. Having someone on the outside looking in will also help you see things you may have overlooked. Experience - Life and vocational experience is priceless.
You would never try to defuse a bomb through trial and error and you would not go deep sea diving unless you had an instructor. Mentors are the best people who have the knowledge and are experienced enough to help you make the right decision and prepare you for greatest challenge called life, especially if they have been in the same business/sport as you. Reduce mistakes – As previously mentioned you gain wisdom by learning from your mistakes.
You can also learn from others’ failures. Having a mentor you won’t need to fail to learn and gain wisdom, as a good mentor will show you that perhaps that ‘decision’ you are about to make, maybe the wrong one and save you from making a mistake.
A good mentor will help transform you to be the best person in your field, in business, sport and in life. They will have the ability to unlock your talents and skills and convert them into essential qualities necessary in your life choices.
Tell you the truth – I liken to this because some people beat around the bush. They don’t want to offend or perhaps friends are telling you things just to please you. A mentor, who has your best interest at heart, will tell you if you are doing something that is wrong, illegal, unethical, unprofessional or just plain stupid. They should have the freedom to tell you without you getting all ‘sooky’ about it. In your eyes they may not always tell you the best thing to do but they will tell you the right thing to do. I don’t believe in honesty being the best policy – it is the only policy. It is about receiving the not-so-pleasing truth which is better than a lifetime of regrets.
No excuses – Excuses permit you give to up on your dreams, they blame failures on someone or something and I‘ve made plenty in my lifetime. Making an excuse say, not to go to the gym, finding a reason not to study, why I shouldn’t eat healthy today and why I shouldn’t bother donating my time or money to a certain charity organisation.
Help find your potential Everyone has a potential to become what he or she wants.
A good mentor will help transform you to be the best person in your field, in business, sport and in life
Excuses are poor and weak and all of them lead nowhere, fast. Excuses tolerate procrastination and that is not a good place to be, however a good mentor will not allow you make them and nudge you in the right direction. He or she will see through carefully invented excuses and will not let you get away with them as their main purpose is not to please your ego, but to bring out the best in you. A mentor should have experience in the field or specialty in which you work, or aspire to work, or sport you play and should be local or nearby. Ideally someone in your organisation including your employer but can be your netball coach, a pastor of a church or someone in the community you respect.
It was said many years ago three wise men of ancient times believed a person can be qualified to give good advice if they met three conditions. They should not be emotionally attached to you, because otherwise they will not be unbiased.
there are plenty of people who would readily give you advice, but only a few wouldn’t just tell you what they believe you WANT to hear Emotions interfere with judgment. They should not ask to be paid for their advice or depend on your income, otherwise they will be conditioned to tell you what you like to hear. And finally, they should practice what they preach. I am sure you know there are plenty of people who would readily give you advice, but only a few wouldn’t just tell you what they believe you WANT to hear but have enough wisdom and integrity to tell you what you NEED to hear. Think about it.
What’s HOT and What’s NOT! BABY PRODUCTS & ACCESSORIES - LADY SPY LOOKS AT WHAT IS POPULAR AND VITAL FOR EARLY PARENTING. THIS MONTH’S TOPIC GOES WELL WITH OUR BABY BLOG.
WHATS HOT? • Baby Wearing - slings, wraps, front carriers – anything that is designed for safe, secure and comfortable baby wearing. See www.mynaturalbaby.co.nz or www.mobywrap.co.nz for some great baby carriers.
Check out the following brands Mocka, Little Kiwi and Tripp Trapp for awesome designs. • Woollen Singlets / merino stretch n grows – You can’t go past these traditional baby undergarments. Cute, simple and understated, these woollen layers provide babies with a warm layer of protection that keeps them safe and healthy in cool and cold weather. • Modern Cloth Nappies Now we are not talking the old square red-lined nappies but the new way of wearing cloth is easy, convenient, dry quickly and cost effective. Start-up costs can set you back a bit but the savings are great over time.
JPMBB - HYBRID STRETCHY WRAP, My Natural Baby (www.mynaturalbaby.co.nz)
• Wooden Highchairs that grow with your child. No more piling cushions on dining chairs as these highchairs turn into a chair that changes as your child gets bigger.
When choosing cloth, you don’t have to use these exclusively, team them up with disposables for night-time or when needed to complement the cloth nappies. Check out TotsBots, Pea Pods, Punea Tails, Itti Bitti and
Bebops for a range of pocket, pre-fold, fitted or all in one nappies. The Nappy Lady also provides excellent advice and service and even workshops for using cloth nappies. There is even online support as part of the website www.thenappylady.co.nz In saying this hold on to those old-school cloth nappy squares as they make excellent spill clothes, change matts and countless other uses. • Weleda Baby Products These natural baby products provide parents with complete piece of mind that their babies’ skin will contact only natural products with no nasty parabens, additives or colourings. Nurture your baby naturally. Check out www.weleda.co.nz or read a copy of Wendyl Nissen’s “Mother’s Little Helper – An old fashioned guide to raising your baby chemical-free”.
WHATS NOT? • While the odd ten minute stint in a Jolly Jumper, Exersaucer or Bumbo seat can provide parents with a much needed break to get jobs done, these products were initially designed for babies with disabilities, that couldn’t move for themselves. The best and safest place for your child to develop important movement skills is on a play-mat on the floor. Children develop at different rates, so why try to speed up sitting / walking / jumping before they are physically ready! Check out SPARC Active Movements for Babies www.sportnz.org.nz or attend one of their workshops through Plunket or Parents Centre.
• DVD’s that are marketed towards babies. A baby / toddler needs as little exposure to TV / computer screens as possible and the health recommendations actually say ‘0’ hours of TV a day until your child is three years old. While this is impossible in most households try to limit your child’s TV watching as much as possible. The best interaction for your baby is with your or other family members playing with toys and reading books. • We all do it but buying lots of baby clothes in teeny tiny sizes as our excitement and hormones rush towards impending motherhood. Certainly buy a few small items but wait to see the size of your baby before blowing the bank account on gorgeous but
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impractical outfits that your baby may only wear once or not at all. • Wipe warmers – We know wipes can be cold and little bottoms can get a shock but this seems to be a waste of time for me. Most warmers actually end up drying out your wipes. Just warm them up in your hand for a minute or use warm water with dry wipes or flannels • Crazy overpriced exuberant prams which are really as good as cheaper versions. Or wait until they are on sale and knock a few hundred dollars off the price. Safety, comfort and durability are paramount but make sure you test the prams and buy one that suits your lifestyle and level of physical activity. That’s all from Lady Spy for this month!
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New Mum Blog PART 1: BABY WEARING - By Jane Trask
As mentioned in my previous article all parents have the right to choose their own style of parenting. I’d like to share two aspects to my parenting style. One is an absolute favourite thing of mine- Baby Wearing and the other is Baby LedWeaning which is slowly taking shape in our lives!
Both of these techniques are not new and have been used by many cultures the world over including our westernised world. However, the past 50 years parenting styles have taken on a largely traditional role set out and encouraged by Plunket and our parents, friends and /or family around us who have done or are doing similar things.
front pack by twizzling some material all around themselves at super speed! When you are still in the new-born ‘fuzzy brain’ stage this can be overwhelming to comprehend.
I love this. I get to have extra snuggles with my little one during the day. I like that I can be out and about by becoming a ‘baby wearer”.
I have two methods, a Moby Wrap and a Mei-tai Wrap. The Moby was a godsend in the early days, I could tuck my son into the stretchy wrap and he would happily sleep while I got my hands & arms back and even some jobs completed or exercise done. Even after a C-section I could comfortably
The art of baby wearing can sometimes be an overwhelming concept as you see experts magically make a baby sling or
I got given a beautiful wrap and my interest grew from there. I watched a few You-Tube videos on correct baby wearing and safety for the wraps I have.
carry him for small amounts of time, as this wrap moulded to my own body.
Failing this the safest place for him to sleep I believe is snuggled into me.
As my son has grown I have moved onto the Mei-tai wrap, a non-stretchy wrap which is fast and easy to tie with a more active older baby. I am excited about my next wrap, something that will take my baby into the toddler stage. For as long as I can lift and support him with my own body strength, I will ‘wear’ my baby. It complements occasions when I don’t have time to get the pram out or when space for prams is an issue.
Correct safety is paramount to avoid issues with breathing, and hip displacement but practice makes perfect and it becomes easy enough.
For me, sleep during the day for my little one is still, at its most ideal in his bed.
Safety aspects can be found at babywearinginternational. org/pages/safety.php or fbcdnsphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/ hphotos-ak-snc6/283740_101 51070819015896_1326556876 _n.jpg I think I will always look back on baby wearing with fondness as I see those perfect little features smiling, looking back up or snuggling into me.
There are many benefits to baby wearing – infants thrive through touch, carried babies cry less, are healthy – colicky babies or sensitive tummies respond well to an upright position, parents are confident and learn to read babies cues fast and effectively, all adults in the babies life can wear the baby as long as safety is upheld and of course comfort and convenience. It is great to be able to ‘wear’ your baby places that capsules and prams find it hard to go. With practice you can even feed on the go! (babywearinginternational.org/ articles.php?article=1). Check out part 2 on page 60 about Baby Led Weaning.
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Natural Remedies BROCCOLI A single cup of broccoli contains numerous necessary nutrients. The Worldâ€™s Healthiest Foods website lists it as an excellent source of vitamins C, K and A, as well as folate and dietary fibre. One cup of steamed broccoli
gives you twice the amount of vitamins C and K you need per day. It is also is a good source of vitamins B6 and B2, phosphorus, magnesium, protein and omega 3 fatty acids. And this serving contains just over 40 calories.
Team raw broccoli with: diced bacon, feta cheese, red onion, pine nuts and chopped orange for a delicious and nutritious flavoursome summer salad. Written By Molly Chattell
Green Smoothie Start the day with a green smoothie to increase your leafy green vegetable consumption, benefiting your heart and protecting your system from diabetes and some cancers.
150g (6 oz) fresh spinach leaves or silverbeet (Swiss chard) leaves 1 young coconut water removed 1 to 2 bananas, peeled and frozen
1 – Drain the water from the coconut. Set aside. 2 – Coarsely chop the silverbeet if using. 3 – Combine the spinach, coconut water and the frozen bananas in a blender.
Pulse until the mixture is smooth and creamy. Add more water if you prefer a thinner smoothie. Note: The silverbeet will make a darker smoothie than the spinach. You may wish to add an extra banana for sweetness.
All of the recipes have been developed for maximum nutrition benefits and are based on what I call low human intervention foods – it’s about eating food the way nature intended, eating more plant foods and amping up the greens - DR LIBBY
NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION: Diets high in plant foods guard against many of the chronic diseases that end up costing us too many visits to the doctor!
Great Gift Ideas Activity Gifts
Sometimes the best gifts are ‘activity’ gifts. Often we end up with so much “stuff” it’s nice to actually get out and enjoy a great activity together.
One activity gift I highly recommend is an Ogo. This is an age appropriate gift for both kids and adults (big kids) and I guarantee the recipient of this gift will have an absolute ball! (pun intended).
Call Kelly and the team at Ogo Rotorua to arrange a voucher and I guarantee you will have the time of your life! Check out their website at: www.ogo.co.nz
WHAT IS THE OGO? The OGO is a 3 metre (11 foot) transparent sphere that you can jump inside and roll down a hill in. OGO Rotorua is our very own play-paddock where we spend our days rolling down our purpose built 250 metre long tracks in our OGOs.
Spiritual Connection with resident medium Andy “I have 2 children and sadly had a miscarriage last year. I would love to know if you see me having any more children in the future. I have been trying about 9 months now.” - Hayley
Hi Hayley It feels like you are still processing or to process some of the grief around the miscarriage. This is an important aspect of your healing, as hard as that is. Once you have done this, I feel like there is a little girl waiting.
There is a lady who has passed over who watches over you, it could be your grandmother on your mother’s side. She says you have done an amazing job.
Thank you so much everything she said was true. I’m amazed Thanks again. Hayley
You are a blessing to a lot of people. You expect a lot of yourself and don’t be so hard on yourself.
It feels like you have always Do you feel like you need to been the strong one or felt connect with your loved ones on You are on the right path like you had to be the strong the other side? Contact on Skin Andy problems health Do you from... and doing the rightissues things. Muscle aches or pain one since you suffer were little. Did Stubborn 07 343 6909 or visit their website Listen to your body, come and see the team at Maximum Wellbeing you grow up very quickly? www.maximumwellbeing.co.nz Take Care. It is ok to let go and let 07-3436909 Phone From Andy someone else help too :)
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New Mum Blog - By Jane Trask
My son is now seven months old. From the age of 4-5months I had so many people ask me if I was feeding him solids yet. He couldn’t roll over. He couldn’t sit up. So it didn’t sit well with me to start feeding him ‘solids’ which were anything but.
“Baby-Led weaning is safe, natural and easy – and like, most good ideas in parenting, it’s not new…Of course there’s nothing revolutionary about giving babies finger foods from six months.
Being a teacher I am not very fond of the phrase ‘spoon feeding’ as this is something we don’t like to encourage our students to do with learning as they end up not having to think for themselves.
PART TWO: BLW – BABY LED WEANING
“What’s different about BLW is that the baby only has finger foods, making purees and spoon-feeding a thing of the past”. (Baby –led Weaning – Gill Rapley & Tracey Murkett).
So when it came to my own son I didn’t feel right spoon feeding him pureed food before he was ready. I looked up the definition and was convinced yet again that BLW was the way I wanted my baby’s food journey to go. It is at this point I must stop and ponder the opposite argument. I was spoon fed. Everyone around me was spoon fed. I see babies around me now being spoon fed and genuinely loving their food! So why did I continue to choose this path? Because it felt right for me and right for my boy. I didn’t just wake up one day and decide this is what we are doing to be different.
I asked BLW’s around me for their opinions, reasoning and menu plans. I read articles and a great book that I quoted earlier. I see first-hand the benefits of my niece who chooses her food, in quantities that she is ready for and I hear my mum openly wish she had known about this method when we were young. So I persevered. I waited and waited and my son still didn’t seem ready.
it felt right for me and right for my boy Every baby around us was starting to eat pureed solids and my baby was still only on breast milk. He was / is growing healthily and is a happy contented baby. It always made me laugh when people would say, “he is watching you eat, he wants to eat too,” and I would inwardly respond with, “he watches me drive the car, maybe he is ready for that too.” Babies learn and are curious about their worlds by what they see all around them. I believe it is up to the parents to know and decide the best time for their own child to begin the weaning process.
All babies whether breast fed, bottle fed or a mixture of both can progress through the weaning process through BLW or through pureed spoon feeding or even a mix of both. What is important is that the parents and the child are happy with the decision they have made. I am still not convinced that my son is 100% ready but he had his first introduction to solids through the Baby Led Weaning approach only two weeks ago at 6 and a half months. I have recently bought a highchair and although he can’t sit up still he can tolerate about 4-5 minutes a day propped up with towels and cushions. We started with chunky sticks of pear, avocado and banana. Introducing each one in that order every two-three days. Now we are onto veges starting with chunks of boiled potato, then kumara and pumpkin. I love to watch as he grabs each piece and aims it towards his mouth, missing it nearly every single time. It is hard not to jump in and grab a piece to hold up to his mouth. It is hard to watch his gag reflex as the food passes over it.
Always remember that quiet choking is dangerous and noisy choking / gagging is ok. I would never leave him unattended with food or in the highchair so I don’t feel worried about him choking on chunks of food. He squishes it, chases it around the tray trying to pick little bits and even offers pieces to the cat as she strolls past the highchair. It would certainly make cleaning up easier if the cat did like to eat fruit and veges! BLW can be a slow process as you really do have to sit back and let your baby go at his own pace. By eating meals together your child begins to see the links between food and social activity and feels part of the family. This is important no matter what style of food you are introducing. If you would like to read more about BLW I recommend the book “Baby –led Weaning” written by Gill Rapley & Tracey Murkett or check out www.kidspot.co.nz/ article+6855+44+Baby-ledweaning.htm for a quick rundown. You can continue to follow this new mum blog at onemummalove.blog.co.nz
December 2012 Horoscopes CAPRICORN: 23 Dec - 20 Jan
TAURUS: 21 Apr - 21 May
VIRGO: 24 Aug - 23 Sep
AQUARIUS: 21 Jan - 19 Feb
GEMINI: 22 May - 21 Jun
LIBRA: 24 Sep - 23 Oct
PISCES: 20 Feb - 20 Mar
CANCER: 22 Jun - 23 Jul
SCORPIO: 24 Oct - 23 Nov
ARIES: 21 Mar - 20 Apr
LEO: 24 Jul - 23 Aug
SAGITTARIUS: 23 Nov - 22 Dec
SAGITTARIUS: Love is in the air. Forget being single, this holiday season you will have a plus one to attend every event with you. Steamy romance will send you to cloud nine with the next few weeks being nothing short of an absolute whirlwind. Enjoy every moment of it.
PISCES: Your friends love and have your best interests at heart. It might be a good time to remember that they do have an important place in your life. Even though you’re all busy, try and make some time for your besties – they make you feel good and it’s important not to let your friendships drift apart.
CAPRICORN: Before you go on holiday for Christmas, get a complete health check. Get to the doctors to make sure everything is ok and sort out any niggles you’ve been having before it turns into something serious. Looking after yourself needs to be number one priority. Take the time to get yourself looked over so you can enjoy a relaxing holiday.
ARIES: Go with your gut this month. Use your instincts to navigate what path you take. There will be endless options and decisions to make but there’s no need to feel overwhelmed. As long as you do what feels right for you, regardless of what anyone else thinks you will have an exciting and fun-drenched month.
AQUARIUS: Whatever you have been putting off lately, stop procrastinating and get it done. You will feel a huge sense of accomplishment. It might even be a great time to go all out and have a clean out around the house. Get rid of anything you don’t use anymore, freshen up the place and get that feng shui radiating from room to room. You will feel so much better for it.
TAURUS: It’s been a long hard year for bulls so a well-earned vacation is definitely on the cards. Go to a place where you can relax - well away from the hustle and bustle. Reconnecting with nature will give you an opportunity to re-charge your batteries and get some emotional balance back into your life. Somewhere by the water will benefit you this summer.
GEMINI: It may seem like a good idea but getting romantically involved with someone this month is simply not the right time. You have your own issues to work through and it’s important you are able to stand on your own two feet before you get involved with someone else. The best thing for you this month is to have some good old light hearted fun over summer. Enjoy your friends and family and concentrate on putting yourself first. CANCER: Just because the holiday season is fast approaching doesn’t mean you have a licence to spend more money than usual. It may seem impossible but you can still have a lot of fun without spending too much money. Don’t put yourself at risk for clocking up debt over Christmas. LEO: Job opportunities could be on the rising. If you have been feeling like a change now is the time to look at possible career prospects. Just make sure if an offer comes up that looks too good to resist make sure you do a thorough background check – you don’t want to be sucked into something that really is too good to be true.
VIRGO: Your creative juices are pumping! After what may have seemed like a few dull months, the summer season brings a vibe that has revitalised your imagination and artistic side. Give yourself some space to explore these new ideas – it will not only give you a great buzz but will also be quite calming. LIBRA: Give yourself a weekend with no responsibilities or worries and let yourself go crazy. A big blow out to kick off the summer season will be just what you need. Get your friends together and make a dash out of town for some serious fun. You will come back feeling refreshed and ready for a great summer. SCORPIO: It may be time to give thought to changing certain aspects of your lifestyle. In order to make sure you are the happiest you can be make sure your environmental surroundings are healthy. That means a big emphasis on peace and tranquillity. “There is no better boat than a horoscope to help a man cross over the sea of life.” - Varaha Mihira
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BURNING QUESTIONS Need advice? Ask our resident “know it all” She’ll tell it how it is
I just joined a great company but I have found one flaw: a co-worker who works no more than 3 hours in an 8-hour workday. She spends extra time at lunch shopping, she makes personal phone calls, she’s always on facebook or chatting with other workers. Her behaviour makes me think she has no respect for her fellow co-workers and I feel like I have to take up the slack. She has been here for two years and I just don’t see how she keeps her job. Should I make waves and complain about her performance, or go with the flow? Sandy, Rotorua Dear Sandy, She can only make you look good. She is performing at sub-par and you are performing well. I do not know why your manager is tolerating her poor work habits. I wouldn’t go there.
If you complain, you will look bad, and perhaps rock a boat no one wants moved. See if you can find the humour in her behaviour, so you won’t feel put upon or short-changed. Face it, you may have been hired to fill in for her incompetence. I am dating a man who wants my 7 year old daughter and I to move into his home. He has 2 kids, 11, and 13. He has a horrible relationship with his ex-wife. They fight instead of talk. They share the custody and parenting of their children. The schedule is very erratic, depending on her work schedule. No one knows where the children will be staying from week to week. He is happy with this situation because he gets to see his kids. The children, however, have no stability or responsibilities. Their grades are in the basement, D’s, and F’s.
My daughter has weekly commitments with her father and our lives are scheduled and stable. I think living there would be very chaotic for us. He says he cannot change the situation, and really wants me to live with him, but I don’t think I could manage… Please help! Georgia, Fenton Park Dear Georgia, There is no issue here. You would be nuts to move your daughter into a chaotic, unscheduled environment. This man has a chaotic life, failing children, a nasty relationship with his ex, all swirling about him and he wants another family to move in? He has too much on his plate as is. You are having an excellent preview of your future with this man: chaotic. This living arrangement does not sound like a good fit for you or your daughter. It is not fair to your daughter to be placed in such chaos.
I don’t know if I have made a mistake. I recently purchased an expensive new car and have three years of stiff payments ahead. The car is the only thing stopping me from traveling internationally for a few months. I have always wanted to do this. Some people tell me that this is the only time in my life I would be able to have an expensive car, because I still live with my parents. Others say that I should have travelled first. I will be 21 this summer. I am confused. What would you have done, bought the car or travelled? Matt, Rotorua Dear Matt You can be a slave to the car payments for the next three years or you can sell the car and travel. In your shoes I would travel. Marriage, family, children, ill parents, and a sundry of other older adult responsibilities creep up quickly. You can always purchase another car.
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Monthly Confessions! Anonymous READERS spill the beans on their deepest darkest secrets
This is just so funny I had to share it. My best friend is a bloke (as am I). He was having trouble with the ladies so to make light of the situation myself and a couple of other friends decided to play a bit of a joke on him. We were at a party and I turned up dressed as a chick. My mate had had a few drinks and started talking and flirting with me! He even tried to kiss me! When I took off the wig and all the girlie accessories he was so embarrassed! I have never let him live it down.
I am officially screwed! I don’t know how this has happened but I think I am in love with my best friend (we are both women and straight). We went to school together, got married and had babies at the same time. Lately I have formed this attachment and attraction to her. I’ve never felt like this about a female before. I will not ruin years of friendship by confessing my feeling to her. Hopefully I can move on from this. From Anonymous
I am a terrible person! I am having an affair with my boyfriend’s brother.
ild on my own and I refuse to bring up a ch r him. As a single not be able to provide fo and I already work two mother things are tight keep us a float. different jobs to try and ing favours for men for Last year I dabbled in do g and it helped me get money. It wasn’t for lon during a tough time. back on my feet finically again and I just can’t Things are getting harder back to my old tricks help but thinking going to get through the hard will be the easiest way times. From Hard Decisions
It’s been going on for about 3 months. We are so in love with each other. Although we haven’t slept together we still kiss and have secret meetings which is so wrong. I don’t think we can be apart now so calling it off is not an option. I’m going to have to come clean to my boyfriend and live with the fact that I was wedge that came between two brothers. From Anonymous
Send your confessions to US AT firstname.lastname@example.org
THE WEIRD, THE WACKED AND THE WONDERFUL
IF YOU EAT LOTS OF CARROTS, YOU WILL START TO TURN ORANGE.
Whispering is more wearing on your voice than a normal speaking tone.
For most people, no matter how hard you pinch the skin on your elbow with your fingers it doesn’t hurt.
You are about 1 centimeter taller in the morning than in the evening.
It would take about 1,200,000 mosquitoes to fully drain the average human body of blood.
The G in ‘G-string’ stand for groin.
Rubberbands last longer when refrigerated.
The chances of you dying on the way to get your lottery tickets is greater than your chances of winning.
Condoms were originally made of animal intestines or linen.
The can opener was invented 48 years after the can.
CHEROPHOBIA IS A FEAR OF FUN.
IN 1977 A 13 YEAR OLD BOY HAD A TOOTH GROWING OUT OF HIS LEFT FOOT.
Mediaworks Rotorua has a new online womens magazine. Nevaeh is designed for local women filled with interactive content, stories, tips and a...