Goulash Spring 2022

Page 25

Inadequacy A feeling of inadequacy. The ever-burning question of “Am I good enough?” Somehow always knowing the answer is “no.” Why keep fighting when it’s never enough? Why keep burning brighter and brighter just to end up a stump of useless wax? What’s the point in fighting with an invisible enemy, A figure so much like myself that it stares back with the same eyes? I question when I’ll be able to simply exist. To not have to justify every move Every word Every breath in my existence. I struggle to measure up. I claw my way through the list of a million names, all far better than mine, just to be seen. I work myself to the bone every day and every night. Restless. Yet it will never be enough. There will always be one person not satisfied. One person who looks at me and says “You can do more.” One person who can’t bear to just let me be. And she glares back at me from the mirror in disgust. A feeling of inadequacy. Amber Constante

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