Things Unseen

Things Unseen

Being a twin… it should be fun, right?

Wrong.

Alex and I have been twins since the day we were born. It was cute at first, everyone calling us the “AA batteries.”

Audrey and Alex. Alex and Audrey. For a time, there was no saying one name without saying the other.

But that was before Alex became the bane of my existence. That was before he stole all of my light. Before he ripped my life to shreds and left me alone with the pieces.

It’s silly, really. How can you hate someone that is a mirror of yourself? But Alex and I are not the same and our parents never fail to remind me of that. How could I ever compare to a god like Alex? Captain of the football team, beautiful girlfriend, straight A’s, and a perfect record.

You should be more like Alex.

Yeah, I totally wish I could be more like that narcissistic jerk.

I have spent my whole life trying to catch up to him because maybe then my parents would appreciate me. But it was like I was walking when he was in a sprint. He left me in the dust a long time ago and our bond fizzled out and died.

At this point, it’s easier to avoid my parents. The only time they ever acknowledge my existence is when their Golden child Alex is away. It starts with the classic heavy sigh. Then their favorite line, “You know, Audrey, I wish you could be more like Alex.” That was a shot to the chest the first time I heard it. It’s getting a little old now though. Then I give a little eye roll to egg them on and my dad huffs out an irritated breath.

“Audrey, this is serious. Look at your brother. He is succeeding in life, when I look at you I don’t see anything. What are you doing with your life?” Classic. And if you think my dad is bad, you should hear my mom.

She jumps in after him, “You never fail to disappoint me. Do you know how it must look to other people? We have such a perfect son but then you… why are you like this?”

Then I bite back, “I don’t know, Karen, maybe because I have such horrible parents.” I love it when she is seething. It feels like a little bit of payback after the hell she has put me through.

Then I walk away.

But today it was different. When I got home from school my parents weren’t home. I just took it as a victory and headed to my room. When I got there, however, there was an uninvited pest on my bed.

“What are you doing here, Alex?”

He straightened when he saw me, “Chill. You really need to stop that.”

Great. Another person telling me what to do and how to act. I narrowed my eyes, “Get out. I don’t want you here.” I could feel the hatred bubble up inside me but I kept it contained like I always do.

He let out a soft breath, “I just want to talk to you.”

“Oh, so now I’m worth your time? I want you to leave.”

His brow twitched, “Please, Audrey. Just listen to me.”

The audacity. “Why should I? No one ever listens to me! So why should I listen to you?”

“JESUS, AUDREY! STOP. Just- stop. Take a minute and think about someone else for a change… please.”

I staggered away from him, “Why should I think about you?” My fists balled at my sides, “All you’ve done is made my life miserable!”

Hurt flashed across his face, he looked… surprised? He shot up off of the bed, his eyes glued to the floor, “I’m sorry. Forget it. I’ll go.”

He made a beeline for the door but I grabbed his wrist and spat, “Sit back down. If you’re going to start this, you’re going to finish it.”

He sat back on the bed and looked up at me, “Why don’t you like me?”

He’s kidding, right? I just stared at him.

“Seriously Aud-“

“Don’t call me Aud.”

“Audrey… I just don’t get why you hate me so much. We used to be so close.”

“You don’t get why I hate you?! Isn’t it obvious, Golden boy?! You took my life away! Every day I have to wake up knowing that our parents look at me with discontent when they look at you with stars in their eyes!”

“I didn’t want that to happen-“

I cut him off, “But it did. It did happen. I will forever be overshadowed by you and it’s all your fault. You never let me have the spotlight and look at where I am now! You have it so good and it’s like you don’t even appreciate it-“

“Because I don’t! I don’t have it good and I don’t appreciate it! Geez Audrey! Have you ever thought about how I have felt?!”

How he felt? What could he possibly-

“Their eyes are on me all the time,” he trembles on my bed, “I can never do anything! One small mistake and they’re on me about how I have an ‘image to protect’ and that this ‘isn’t becoming of me.’”

This isn’t real… no. My heart was racing in my chest and my legs felt weak, “What… what do you mean?”

I could see the shine in his eyes. He lowered his voice, pain and anguish and despair coming through when he said, “They expect me to be perfect all of the time. I’m trapped on a towering pedestal that our parents built for me out of ‘love’ but it feels like if I make one wrong move I’ll fall to my death.”

I moved to get closer to him, “So… this whole time I’ve hated you when this is how you really felt?”

A soft sob escaped his mouth as he wrapped his arms around me, “I missed you.”

I didn’t realize it but I guess- “I missed you too.”

Ava Bucur