Goulash Spring 2022

Things Unseen Being a twin… it should be fun, right?

Wrong.

Alex and I have been twins since the day we were born. It was cute at first, everyone calling us the “AA batteries.”

Audrey and Alex. Alex and Audrey. For a time, there was no saying one name without saying the other.

But that was before Alex became the bane of my existence. That was before he stole all of my light. Before he ripped my life to shreds and left me alone with the pieces.

It’s silly, really. How can you hate someone that is a mirror of yourself? But Alex and I are not the same and our parents never fail to remind me of that. How could I ever compare to a god like Alex? Captain of the football team, beautiful girlfriend, straight A’s, and a perfect record.

You should be more like Alex.

Yeah, I totally wish I could be more like that narcissistic jerk.

I have spent my whole life trying to catch up to him because maybe then my parents would appreciate me. But it was like I was walking when he was in a sprint. He left me in the dust a long time ago and our bond fizzled out and died.

At this point, it’s easier to avoid my parents. The only time they ever acknowledge my existence is when their Golden child Alex is away. It starts with the classic heavy sigh. Then their favorite line, “You know, Audrey, I wish you could be more like Alex.” That was a shot to the chest the first time I heard it. It’s getting a little old now though. Then I give a little eye roll to egg them on and my dad huffs out an irritated breath.

“Audrey, this is serious. Look at your brother. He is succeeding in life, when I look at you I don’t see anything. What are you doing with your life?” Classic. And if you think my dad is bad, you should hear my mom.

She jumps in after him, “You never fail to disappoint me. Do you know how it must look to other people? We have such a perfect son but then you… why are you like this?”

Then I bite back, “I don’t know, Karen, maybe because I have such horrible parents.” I love it when she is seething. It feels like a little bit of payback after the hell she has put me through.

Then I walk away.

But today it was different. When I got home from school my parents weren’t home. I just took it as a victory and headed to my room. When I got there, however, there was an uninvited pest on my bed.

“What are you doing here, Alex?”

He straightened when he saw me, “Chill. You really need to stop that.”

Great. Another person telling me what to do and how to act. I narrowed my eyes, “Get out. I don’t want you here.” I could feel the hatred bubble up inside me but I kept it contained like I always do.

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