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THE SEVEN THINGS I WISH I KNEW WHEN RETURNING TO WORK FROM PARENTAL LEAVE by Rachael de Zylva Community and Stakeholder Engagement Lead, Laing O’Rourke & NAWIC Member
Back in September 2019 when I started my year of parental leave before the arrival of my daughter, I honestly thought the 12 months away from work would stretch out forever! I imagined warm sunny days strolling in the park, sleeping when she slept and being uber organised and ready to return to the office – fresh, renewed, a different but better version of myself. I now laugh out loud how completely crazy those ideas were. Returning to work was not what I expected. I had changed, things at work had changed and everything was now different. So, with that in mind, I thought it was worth sharing what I wish I knew in case you are considering having children, adopting, fostering, trying, or about to have a baby. 1. DAYCARE IS A CESSPIT OF GERMS
There I said it. No matter what you do, your baby will get sick and you will have to take time off to deal with it. This is particularly during the first 12 months of daycare when it feels like your whole house is experiencing the black plague. Baby gets a cold, you get a cold, your partner gets the cold, everyone is sick. Baby gets conjunctivitis and suddenly you all have the dreaded pink eye. Naturally the timing is terrible as you put them into daycare just as you return to work. So, if you can afford it, get your child into daycare a few weeks before you return to work so they are adjusted and settled. That way, you’ve already dealt with a few daycare bugs upfront. Ultimately, there is no way of getting around this 46
one – you just have to live through it as best you can. Slowly but surely, your baby will build some resilience. If you can work flexibly, this helps a lot at managing the endless illnesses that will come. 2. BABIES DON’T ALWAYS FIT IN WITH YOUR PLANS
Some days, no matter how hard you try, things will not go to plan. And you know what? That’s ok. Some days you have to squeeze in work where you can and maybe log in after dinner to catch up after you’ve dealt with the vomit and poo explosions. It can be particularly hard trying to fit everything into the day. My best advice is to know what your work priorities are and stick to them. Don’t do any other work that does not help you to meet those core priorities. An honest conversation with your manager also helps if you are struggling and his may take away some of the stress. 3. GUILT
Ah the guilt. When you are at work you will feel guilty for not being with your baby. When you are with the baby you will feel guilty about not being at work. It is a losing battle. I feel guilty for finishing work at 5pm, I feel guilty for feeling sleep deprived, I even feel guilty sometimes for returning to work and being a working parent. There is nothing else you can do except actively try to get rid of the guilt. Ask any other working parent, everyone has it. Accept that you are doing your best at managing your family, your work, your boss and yourself. Sometimes each of these areas just have to give a little. If you are doing your best, no one can expect more.
THE NAWIC JOURNAL
