All About Women May 2014 by Mountain Times Publications

A AW M A G .C O M

M ay 2 0 1 4 FREE

Reaching Greater Heights with

Kim Jochl

Susan Barber More Than a Businesswoman

Shirley Hampton Expressing Self Through Art

Janet Marsh Protecting the Environment

Connie Trivette On Mission in Bolivian Amazon

Boone Healing Give the perfect Mother’s Day gift this year

Mother’s Day Specials

for yourself or someone else

90-Minute Massage for $85

Unique Gifts in the Be You Boutique

1-Hour Facial with 30-Minute Massage for $85 (a $105 value)

(a $105 value) Relax, rejuvenate and revitalize the body with a 90-minute massage. Good for general relaxation, stress reduction and overall well-being.

Refresh and enliven skin with a facial to help melt away unnecessary tensions while restoring facial muscular balance in a harmonious way. Enjoy an additional 30-minute massage for total mind-body wellness.

Available through May 2014.

A Community of Holistic Practitioners offering ...

Gift Certificates Available

· acupuncture · alexander technique · boutique · chinese medicine · integrative yoga counseling · massage · personal training · physical therapy · private yoga · psychotherapy · rolfing® structural integration · skin care & waxing · workshops SI JIN BAO® FOUR GOLDEN TREASURES

828-848-8346

838 State Farm Rd · Boone NC

bhacboone.com

56752 boone paint Ask for

the care you deserve. Ask for

Caldwell Hospice in the High Country. Offering hospice services to patients and their families wherever they call home.

www.caldwellhospice.org l

l 828.754.0101 l 1.844.MY.JOURNEY

the

alliative C a d P re

HIG H C O UNT

The only love that I really believe in is a motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s love for her children. - Karl Lagerfeld

Photo by Leda Winebarger

publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Emily Apple Sherry Boone Heather Brandon Bonnie Church Yozette “Yogi” Collins Jeff Eason Hollie Greene Laine Isaacs Heather Jordan Mary McKinney Clarissa Shepherd

production & design Meleah Bryan Marianne Koch Kristin Powers

advertising Leigh Ann Moody 828.264.6397, ext. 271

cover photo by Todd Bush© www.bushphoto.com

Photo by Sherrie Norris

contents news bits women in the news susan barber bloom where you’re planted mom’s world janet marsh women’s funds merge chronic fatigue syndrome & ﬁbromyalgia inspired to succeed you go girl mother-daughter relationship kim jochl by the book connie trivette fashion shirley hampton young at heart betsy jones walsh living well tips to make life a breeze all about mothers

kim jochl

7 8 10 12 14 16 18 19 20 22 24 26 32 34 36 38 40 42 44 46 48

susan barber

janet marsh

connie trivette

shirley hampton

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

editor’s note

April was an action-packed and emotionally charged month for us here at the All About Women office. Not only were we officially notiﬁed that our magazine had been named Best Niche Publication in the community division of the North Carolina Press Association’s 2013 advertising contest, but we also learned that our faithful readers collectively named us Best Magazine in the Watauga Democrat’s annual Best of the Best contest. On a less pleasant note, we said good-bye to Jennifer Canosa, manager of our creative services department, who has ultimately been in charge of the design and layout of our award-winning publication for several years. Jennifer has decided to focus more of her time on her family, and to pursue other creative interests from her home office. There is no way to thank her adequately enough for all that she has done to make us shine. We wish her only the best as she transitions into her new routine. Moving into Jennifer’s role is the incredibly talented Meleah Bryan, who is no stranger to the pages of this magazine. Meleah has shared the wind beneath our wings with Jennifer for a long time. We face the future enthusiastically with her leadership in designing this publication each month. With continued appreciation for Kristin Powers, who came on board in the graphics department several months ago, we welcome back Marianne Koch, who was among our ﬁrst designers of the magazine in its formative years. We are also grateful for the sales representation of Leigh Ann Moody who joined our team a few months ago and has breathed new life into our marketing efforts. We’ve also added a few new writers who bring their unique angles to our monthly columns and features. We officially welcome Emily Apple, Hollie Greene, Laine Isaacs and Mary McKinney. I would be remiss not to mention those who have stood by me from the beginning and have helped guide this publication to the great place that it is today. My heartfelt thanks to Sherry Boone, Heather Brandon, Sharon Carlton, Bonnie Church, Yogi Collins, Heather Jordan and Sue Spirit for their continued well-written, entertaining and informative contributions. We are also blessed by my fellow writers with our sister publications who frequently allow us to use their stories. We are feeling energized as we move forward together, but we couldn’t do what we do without our supportive advertisers and our faithful readers who believe in us and encourage us at every turn. Thanks to each of you for making it possible. Warmly,

P.S. Happy Mother’s Day!

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

newsbits&clips Digital Mammography now available at Cannon Memorial Hospital Charles A. Cannon Jr. Memorial Hospital is the first in Avery subtle to be felt. The use of mammography, and in particular digital mammograCounty to offer breast cancer screenings using full field digital mammography. With the recent installation of the Selenia® Dimensions 2D phy, has greatly enhanced the ability to detect breast cancer at an earfull field digital mammography system, all mammography patients at lier stage, when it’s most treatable. Digital mammography detected CMH will be imaged with the most state of the art equipment avail- significantly more cancers than screen-film mammography in women 50 and younger, premenopausal and peri-menoable. pausal women, and women with dense breasts, “Now that we have full field digital mamBreast cancer statistics are according to results from the American College mography, the women of Avery County (and staggering: of Radiology Digital Mammographic Imaging surrounding areas) can receive the breast care Screening Trial. they deserve close to home,” says Martha Dan* One in eight women living in The installation of full field digital mamiels, lead mammographer at CMH. “We are very the U.S. will get breast cancer mography at CMH, part of Appalachian Reexcited to be a part of offering the latest techin a lifetime. gional Healthcare System, allows radiologists to nology to women in the High Country.” * Breast cancer is the 2nd view breast images taken at CMH or Watauga Digital mammography is different from leading cause of cancer death Medical Center. ARHS is committed to the fight conventional, or film-screen, mammography in the U.S. It’s the leading against breast cancer, providing high quality, in how the image of the breast is acquired and, acute healthcare and preventative medical care more importantly, viewed. The radiologist can cause of death in 35 to 65 in a compassionate and professional manner to magnify the images, increase or decrease the year old women. all people who live, work or visit the High Councontrast, and invert the black and white values try. while reading the images. These features allow For more information, visit www. apprhs.org, or call to schedule an the radiologist to better evaluate micro-calcifications and any areas of appointment at (828) 258-9037 or toll free 800-443-7385. concern. For most women 40 and older, an annual mammogram is the best way of finding breast cancer early. Mammograms play a central role in Source: 2009-2010 American Cancer Society, breast Cancer Facts and the early detection of breast cancer because they can detect changes Figures in the breast that may be early signs of cancer, but are too small or

Eat, Drink and Be Beautiful — A Celebration of Mothers Proceeds to benefit Children’s Council of Watauga County Eat, Drink and Be Beautiful. It’s not just a phrase or a challenge, but an upcoming opportunity for women in the High Country to celebrate the priceless gift of being a mother. Few know more about motherhood — and the things that create a maternal glow — than The Children’s Council of Watauga County, Inc., which is sponsoring the event, from 12 noon to 3 p.m. on Saturday, May 10, at the Meadowbrook Inn in Blowing Rock. According to Crystal Kelly, the council’s executive director, the idea for the event was conceived by Meggan Knight, who Crystal describes as “a community activist and one of our wonderful board members who is also responsible for starting and maintaining our successful diaper bank for less fortunate families.” The celebration promises to be a fun-ﬁlled occasion to honor the mothers in your life, with a day of food, fashion and fun. “It’s going to be the perfect way to celebrate with your friends, mothers, sisters and daughters,” Crystal says. “Or for you to give a ticket as a gift to one of the many women you know or work with, who may not be able to attend on their own.” The afternoon festivities will be kicked off with a noon meet-andgreet in the lounge area, followed by a fashion show featuring models from the Mountain Mamas calendar. Each of the models will be wearing the latest apparel and acces-

sories from local retail shops including Gladiola Girls, TazMaraz Chic Boutique and Beauty Bar, Lucky Penny and Doncaster. Following a plated lunch in the Four Season Banquet Hall, coffee and dessert will be served prior to the keynote address delivered by area native and motivational speaker, Gretchen Lee. The venue lounge will be transformed into a small boutique featuring local vendors, which will allow shopping prior to, and following, the event for those last-minute and unique Mother’s Day gift items. Luxury door prizes will be given out to several lucky winners. A full 100 percent of the money raised during the day will be used to support the programs provided by the Children’s Council that are not state funded. They include the GED family literacy program, Who Needs a Change Diaper Bank, ‘baby bucks’ incentives for families, emergency childcare assistance, parenting support and several others. Tickets are limited and available for $40 each and can be purchased at the council’s office or via its website. Meadowbrook Inn is located at 711 Main St. in Blowing Rock. The Children’s Council is located at 225 Birch Street, Suite #3 in Boone For more information, call (828) 262-5424 or visit www.thechildrenscouncil.org MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Free Skin Cancer Screening When: 10 a.m. - 2 p.m., May 9 Where: Boone Dermatology

Screenings are done on a ﬁrst come, ﬁrst serve basis. No appointment necessary. The physicians and staff of Boone Dermatology will provide a full body check or spot check suspicious areas. Sponsored by Boone Dermatology and Appalachian Regional Healthcare System.

WOMENINTHENEWS

Tara Stollenmaier, Playhouse board president; Kaaren Hayes, executive director of Parent to Parent and 2014 overall Great Friend to Families winner; and Kathy Parham, executive director of The Children’s Playhouse. Photo by Dawn Shumate

Hayes Wins Friend to Families Award Kaaren Hayes, Program Director of Parent to Parent/Family Support Network of the High Country, received the 2014 Great Friend to Families Award on March 22 during the annual awards luncheon sponsored by The Children’s Playhouse of Boone. Kaaren was one of several individuals nominated for the honor and was chosen as the over-all winner from a large pool of deserving family and child advocates. In addition to Kaaren, the following individuals were honored as 2014 Helping Hands: Ned Fowler, Mark Freed, Tiffany Minton, Todd Mortensen, Jennifer Grubb Warren, and Bobbie Willard. Named 2014 Helping Hearts were Fred Abernethy, Rebekah Gyger, Sarah Griffith Hawkins, Meggan Knight, Elizabeth (Libba) Moore and Jan Rienerth. Charlotte radio personality and author Sheri Lynch was keynote speaker for the event. She donated her speaking fee back to The Children’s Playhouse. Presenting sponsors were the Reich College of Education of

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

ASU and a local family preferring to remain anonymous. The major sponsor was Mast General Store. Contributing sponsors included Blue Ridge Elective Membership Cooperative, the Transcendental Meditation Center of Boone, and Drs. Mayhew, Schefﬂer, Conn and Hardaway. Food and drink were provided by Earth Fare-Boone, Mast Farm Inn, Panera, Bandana’s and Espresso News. On behalf of The Children’s Playhouse, director Kathy Parham wishes to thank the community for the tremendous support of, and response to, the event, and to congratulate each winner and nominees for their contribution to making life better for children and families in the High Country. For more information about the nominees, visit www.goplayhouse.org/events/2014_Nominees_Great_Friend_to_Families_ award.html. Read more about Kaaren Hayes in an upcoming issue of All About Women magazine.

WOMENINTHENEWS Blue Ridge Women in Agriculture Announces Award Recipients Two local women are the recipients of the 2014 Mary Boyer Sustainable Food and Agriculture Grant program, which, for four years, according to the Ridge Women in Agriculture, has strengthened our local food system by supporting female farmers, ranchers and processors who plan to create innovative, sustainable solutions to production or marketing obstacles in the High Country. This year, two awards of $2,000 have been presented to Elise McLaughlin of Blowing Rock, and Amy Fiedler, of Vilas. Elise will use her award to plant a multilayer demonstration orchard, producing apples, pears, stonefruits, berries, fruiting vines, nitrogen-fixing plants, beneficial insect attractors, as well as benefitting birds and other wildlife. This orchard will maximize production while minimizing single-crop risks. Elise will use the orchard as a demonstration site for a permaculture course at ASU, and for other local farmers and beekeepers. Amy owns and operates Springhouse Farm, a certified organic farm in Vilas. She plans to use her award to diversify her farm after

intense ﬂooding wiped out most of her crop in the summer of 2013. She will offer an alternative to factory-farmed pork by starting her own certiﬁed humane pastured pig and pork operation. She aims to become a premier local source of feeder pigs and an instructor to local farmers on humane pastured pork production. The Mary Boyer Sustainable Agriculture and Food Grants memorialize an extraordinary woman, says board member Amy Galloway. “I believe Mary would be happy to have her name associated with these grants because they serve a genuine-need population in this area. These grants are small, but they have the potential to produce a meaningful change in the professional lives of the recipients, and to allow them to scale up their practices in modest increments.” More information about the Mary Boyer Sustainable Food and Agriculture grant and BRWIA’s programs can be found on BRWIA’s website (www.brwia.org).

Women on Target Interested in learning to shoot or maybe just the safety basics of handling the firearms in your home? The Watauga Gun Club is hosting an NRA Women on Target clinic on May 31 for the females of the High Country. This is a program of the National Rifle Association to introduce women to firearms and help them to overcome fears, get unbiased instruction on firearm safety, and have a fun day at the range with other women. The event is for women, taught by NRA-certified women instructors. The event is designed with the beginner in mind, those whose family members have firearms in the home, but don’t know how to operate or disarm them. The women instructors gently guide newcomers through a full-day of classroom, safety instruction and range time with handguns, rifles and shotguns. The morning portion will consist of safety, the basics of firearms, ammunition and familiarization with firearm operation. During the afternoon range-portion of the program, participants will have the opportunity to put those principals and techniques to use. “We will be using .22 caliber handguns and rifles and various

shotguns. The .22 caliber firearms offer lower noise and recoil so are easier for less experienced shooters to handle,” says organizer and instructor Sandy Hoyle. “They are also more economical.” Participants need only bring an open mind and positive attitude. Dress comfortably for outdoor activity and please, no opentoed shoes or sandals. For those more familiar with shooting sports, you may bring your own firearm and ammunition if you wish; as time permits, an instructor can assist you as needed or desired for specific questions. The classroom and range portion will be completed with the firearms provided for the course. The event will take place 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Watauga Gun Club on Appaloosa Trail near Boone with lunch provided. The first 45 women to register will receive a special goody bag at the event. The cost for the clinic is $45, with pre-registration before May 15 preferred. To register and for directions and additional information, visit www.wataugagunclub.com.

Widow’s Peak Retreat in June Widows Peak, a weekend retreat specially designed for anyone who has lost a life partner and wants to take a meaningful step forward will be held June 6-8 at the Art of Living Retreat Center, a wellness and meditation venue, in Boone. The weekend will be led by authors, thought leaders and mentors, including Grammynominated singer-songwriter Beth Nielsen Chapman. The Art of Living Retreat Center was created to help individu-

als achieve well-being and peace. Located in the Blue Ridge Mountains, in an area traditionally known for its healing energies and beauty, it serves as a refuge of self-renewal for its many visitors from around the world. For more information about Widows Peak or to register, visit www.widowspeakretreat.org or call 1-800-219-7103. MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Susan Barber, surrounded by her family, is where she likes to be, most of all. Photo Submitted

Susan Barber More than a businesswoman Susan Barber would much prefer to be called a family-woman than being referred to a businesswoman. “The true joy of my life is my family,” says Susan. “My favorite times are when I’m with my family and very special friends. The job that means the most to me right now is being ‘Nanny’ to our little granddaughters. They’ve got my number.” This family-loyal woman who enjoys cooking, gardening and reading, is also a smart, strong businesswoman. As co-owner of Charleston Forge, a high-end furniture manufacturer based in Boone, she has worked hard alongside her husband Art to not only build a successful company and brand, but to create and preserve jobs in

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

this community in which they feel blessed to live. High school sweethearts in their hometown of Winston-Salem, Susan followed Art to Boone in 1971 to study interior design and business at Appalachian State University. They married a year later. Art, who was working at Farmer’s Hardware while studying business at ASU, noticed that the store sold more ﬁreplace equipment in the summer than any other time of the year due to the inﬂux of summer residents from warmer climates. That observation set wheels in motion for the young couple, who decided to try their own hand at providing quality, longlasting products to area customers. They

opened The Hearthstone Fireplace Shop in the mid 70s. “The Hearthstone Fireplace Shop was right over on 105 Extension,” says Susan. “That was back when the energy crisis was starting and people were putting glass enclosures on their fireplaces. We sold really high-quality, heavy-duty fireplace screens and pokers that you keep forever because they don’t break. We built a business before we were 25 years old — and it made money.” As their business grew, Susan and Art found that ordering custom-sized fireplace screens from their vendor not only added to the delivery time, it also added to the customer’s expense.

With customer service and satisfaction the Barber’s priority, Art literally forged a plan, asking the elderly man who lived across the street from their shop to teach him to cut, bend, and weld steel. “Then we started making our own custom fire screens,” says Susan. “That’s what really got us into the metal furniture business.” Fast forward to 1984. Art, who had been making and selling metal outdoor furniture, heeded sage advice and created five pieces of indoor furniture in an effort to create a product line with year-round selling potential. With those five pieces, he took Charleston Forge to its first High Point Furniture Market, promising Susan he would “get a real job” if nothing materialized. Unable to afford their own showroom in the world’s largest furniture market, the couple recalls, they received permission to exhibit five pieces in someone else’s showroom. “But we got there too late and the showroom was already set up,” Art said. “We were big-time in debt, and this was a desperation move for us, so we actually put our things in the hall of the building and stood there as vagrants for the 10 days and got away with it.” “We didn’t get caught,” adds Susan. “And we sold to Spiegel and Bloomingdale’s. Can you imagine? We didn’t even have a catalog!” Thirty-plus years later, the Americanmade brand has weathered Chinese imports and boasts two new ventures on their website: CF Home, an online store selling regional hand-crafted jewelry and home décor items, and Charleston Forge Direct, which sells retired items, one-ofa-kind market samples, and closeouts directly to customers. But, more than anything, the Barbers are appreciative of each other and their family and spend as much time as they can together, often around the water, Susan’s favorite environment. “Being around water, whether it’s a lake or a beach, is very calming and peaceful,” she says. “I enjoy as many sunrises and sunsets as I can, and the moon coming up over the water is something to always watch with awe.” For more information, visit www.

‘

My favorite times are when I’m with my family and very special friends. The job that means the most to me right now is being ‘Nanny’ to our little granddaughters. They’ve got my number.

’

charlestonforge.com. Yozette ‘Yogi’ Collins Mom, television producer/writer, and obsessive internet researcher. Though her name suggests otherwise, she is not (yet) an actual yogi.

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

BloomWhereYou’rePlanted

e r a e r e h W ? s y e k my

Have you seen my car keys? It’s a question most every woman has asked her husband or children many times. At least, this woman has. I don’t know why I can’t keep up with my car keys — and my house keys, since they are on the same ring. The last time I lost my spare set, I gave up looking and had another one made. I tried to forget about the keys. I also became tired of being asked, “Where did you lose them?” If I knew where I had lost them, I would not have had two sets of keys plus the extra one. Right? I have one of those “you just had to be there” stories that brings a chuckle each time it’s told. My friend Peggy Mains and I bowl

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

every Tuesday morning at Boone Bowling Center on the Old Timers League. We usually eat lunch after we bowl and planned to do that on this particular day. But ﬁrst, I asked Peggy if she’d follow me over to a local car dealership, where I needed to leave my car for its scheduled service. “Sure”, she said, so we headed to our cars and I began looking into my purse for my newly made spare key to leave with my car. Low and behold, there were my lost keys. I said out loud, “ I can’t wait to tell Peggy I found them.” I left the car for service and, of course, I gave the nice man my set of newly found keys. Then, Peggy picked me up and we headed to Cracker Barrel for lunch.

Just before we got out of Peggy’s car to go in to eat, she opened her purse and said, “What in the world is this?” “What’s wrong?” “This is not my wallet.” I opened my purse, looked in, and said, ”This is not my wallet either.” We had unknowingly bought matching purses at an earlier time, but this was the first time we had both carried them. We exchanged purses and sat there in Peggy’s car laughing and trying to figure out when the switch was made. This had to have happened in the restroom before we left the bowling center. When we finally stopped laughing, we realized that we were getting hungry, but I quickly announced that we had to return to the dealership.

“Why?” Peggy asked, “We just left there.” “Because I gave them your keys out of your pocketbook,” I replied. “They can’t move my car for service with your keys.” So, off we went back to the dealership with me dreading to go inside. I asked the service men if they had tried to move my car yet and was glad when I learned that they had not. I tried to explain why I had given them the wrong keys, but I wanted to hurry and get out of there. Other customers were in there, too and probably were thinking, “Oh, my, that lady has a problem, bless her heart. I dread getting to be her age.” The nice young men looked at each other, smiled, and said, “No problem.” So, back we go to enjoy lunch and wait for my car to be serviced. I wasn’t in a big hurry to face the nice young men again. “Should we tell our friends what we did?” I asked Peggy. “Just certain ones who can understand,” she said. So, that’s why I’m telling you. I think you’ll understand.

The last time I lost my spare set, I gave up looking and had another one made. I tried to forget about the keys. I also became tired of being asked, ‘Where did you lose them?’

New Photo Kiosk Photos • Reprints • Enlargements Photo Calendars...while you wait! Boone Drug and Healthcare at Deerfield 345 Deerfield Road | 828-264-3055 www.boonedrug.com

MOVING SALE Bigger Space, Bigger Ideas

lets you control light. Beautifully.

FREE measuring & installation with Hunter Douglas window fashions.

sHERRY BOONE Local writer who shares her personal stories with others in hopes that they, too, will be comforted by some of life’s sweet memories.

Save Time. Save Money. See our Hunter Douglas Gallery®, and take advantage of our current promotions, money-saving rebates, and special offers.

1852 Hwy 105, Suite 3 Boone, NC 28604 M-F: 9:00 AM to 5:30 PM Sat 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM Closed Sunday 828-264-1395 www.appblinds.com

We also offer Awnings MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

mom’sworld

My Heart Outside My Body Recently, I was cleaning out the ﬁling cabinet in my office in preparation for moving to a new office space. I came across a clipping concerning pregnancy and birth with the following quote by Elizabeth Stone: “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” I’ve been contemplating this quote ever since, particularly in homage to Mother’s Day, which is fast approaching. I think at times, we, as mothers, kid ourselves about how nonchalantly we consider our role, as we plow through the day-today laundry, dishes, soccer practices, scout meetings and homework. Then, there are the moments, which, for lack of a better word, are momentous. In the past few weeks, I have had the all too visceral expe-

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

rience of my heart walking around outside my body during these times. First, there was my 10-year-old son, Joseph, who traveled to Kingsport, Tenn. to compete in the AAU Spring Nationals wrestling championship. At the state competition six weeks prior, my husband and I discussed our own anxiety with watching the matches, trying not to show it to our son. We stayed positive, cheered, and breathed a sign of relief when it was over. He competed well against tough competition and won his weight class. I think my outer heart was beaming, ﬂoating and perhaps palpitating, but overall joyous. The day before the nationals competition, my husband and I had a heart-toheart talk (pun intended) with Joseph about the fact that the tournament the

next day would be ﬁlled with other top competitors, and that no matter what happened, we were proud of him. Forever working on the concept of being sportsmanlike, we worried that his previous struggles with maintaining composure with losing would be ampliﬁed at this event. He is an intense kid with lots of passion, but consequently, also a less than perfect history of handling loss with grace. I reminded him of Coach Sutton’s rule, something my sister had read on the Internet, about if someone were to snap a photograph of two wrestlers at the end of a match, one should not be able to tell either the winner or the loser. In other words, no gloating and no pouting. Joseph said he understood and would keep himself together, whatever the out-

come. When we arrived at nationals, the level of anxiety for my husband and me sky-rocketed, and our confessions to each other became more descriptive. My husband thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest; I thought I might throw up, as Joe warmed up prior to his ﬁrst match. There it was, my heart, walking around on the wrestling mat. The match was close. Joe was down in points, scored and was ahead with less than 30 seconds to go. We were buoyed up and cheering, then a reversal and takedown resulted in his opponent pulling ahead again and winning. Joe was tearful, but held it together, shook hands and walked off the mat. He lost to the state champ from Georgia. When he made it back to the stands where I was, he still held it together, ate and drank something, and was ready to prepare again for the next match, which was a nail-biter, as well. They were tied at the end of the third period and went into overtime. It looked like Joe might have had a take down, but then the other kid made a move and the referee called in his favor. Joe lost that match as well and was out of the competition. Again, he kept his composure. We swallowed the lumps in our throats, and told him how very proud we were of both how he competed and how well he conducted himself. It was the best he had done all year in coping with loss, so despite the losses, my heart smiled. Several weeks later, I experienced the same types of feelings with my oldest son. Three years ago while he was in seventh grade, someone at the middle school had suggested he think about the North Carolina School of Science and Math for his junior and senior years of high school. He and I looked at the website for two hours that night, and after watching the videos on the website and reading about what was available to students, he immediately said “I want to go.” He has talked about it ever since, hopeful and determined. The application process is drawn out

from Jan. through Apr., with essays, transcripts, teacher recommendations, SAT scores, and an on-campus math test. Amidst science fair and math competitions, Calculus homework, and three AP classes, he has been busy, but ever aware of the approaching acceptance day. My own anxiety built, as those around me who know Will have continuously said “He’ll get in,” while I have found myself worrying over the ‘what if’s.’ Of course, it would not be the end of the world. There are other classes, other opportunities and beneﬁts to staying in his home high school. But it has been his dream for so long, that my internal recognition of what his disappointment would be was hard to put into words to others. It pained me. The day came. His hard work, selfmotivation and academic rigors paid off. He was accepted — and glowed. I breathed another sigh as that heart walking around outside my body went back into normal sinus rhythm. Maybe my youngest son, Ben, will give me a moment before my next stress test comes along. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you who live everyday with your hearts outside your bodies.

Happy Mothers Day from the Chick-fil-A Team

828-264-4660 2082 Blowing Rock Rd • Boone, NC 28607 www.cfarestaurant.com/boone/home

‘

Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

’

heather jordan, CNM, MSN Comments or questions? 828.737.7711, ext. 253 landh@localnet.com

call, or visit our website, to learn more about : BENJAMIN H. BARKLEY, DDS

• OFFERING COMPREHENSIVE DENTAL CARE • 6 MONTH SMILES COSMETIC BRACES • ZOOM WHITENING • PLACING AND RESTORING IMPLANTS • ASK ABOUT OUR VENEER SPECIALS FOR MAY AND JUNE OAK AK SUMMIT OFFICE PARK ARK • BOONE OONE HIGHCOUNT YDENTISTRY.COM HIGHCOUNTRYDENTI .COM • 828.386.1033 828.386.

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Janet Marsh An Amazing, Accidental Activist

Photos Submitted

Janet takes time out of her busy summer to pick peas from the garden. Janet Marsh delivers one of many speeches for the Blue Ridge Environmental Defense League.

Janet Marsh has always had the heart of an activist. As an eighth-grader in 4-H when the girls were being taught how to make a bed in only one trip around the bed, Janet said, “Wait, do the boys learn this, too?” Little did she know that years later, in 1984, volunteering for a monthlong study project would reawaken her inner activist and turn into her life’s work. Raising her young children and operating a small farm in Glendale Springs at the time, Janet learned that Ashe County was being considered as a location for a radioactive waste dump, due to a mapping

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

error the U.S. Department of Energy had made. “I thought that if the federal government was making errors already, somebody ought to look into this proposal,” Janet says. She wasn’t the only person who disliked the idea of vast amounts of nuclear waste being buried beneath her community, and when 50 area homemakers, farmers, teachers, and merchants organized to warn people of the danger of nuclear waste repositories to the soil, air, and water, the Blue Ridge Environmental Defense League was born.

That was 30 years ago. For the past three decades, starting with that Crystalline Repository Project, BREDL has tirelessly protected public health by protecting the environment, educating the community, and even encouraging environmentally responsible practices by industries. You could say that BREDL — now active in NC, SC, Va., Tenn., Ga., and Ala., — not only protects public health, but also ﬁghts for the poorest and most vulnerable communities, since those are the sites most often eyed for repositories. As the organization’s executive direc-

Little did she know that years later, in 1984, volunteering for a monthlong study project would reawaken her inner activist and turn into her life’s work. And just like that eighth-grade girl who questioned the justice in being treated as “less than,” Janet continues pursuing her goal that poor and wealthy communities alike be healthy for future generations.

ronmental causes and campaigns at www. bredl.org.

Yozette ‘Yogi’ Collins

Get in touch with your local BREDL chapter and learn about their other envi-

tor from 1986 to 2011 when she transitioned back to volunteer status due to a health issue, much of the growth of the organization has been under Janet’s leadership. Now, however, she works closely with the current Executive Director Lou Zeller who happens to be Janet’s husband. “The DOE brought us together,” Janet says. “We’ve been married almost 18 years, but we worked together through BREDL for a decade before we were married.” And while Janet’s mission has been lofty and her accomplishments many, there’s another aspect to Janet that adds dimension: she has Stargardt Disease, a rare inherited eye disease that causes macular degeneration at a young age. “I lost my eyesight in my mid-20s and have been legally blind since then. But I’ve used it in my organizing,” Janet says. “People who were doing a nice thing for me by driving me to Raleigh or by reading a DOE document into a recording device, got hooked in to helping BREDL. I’ve used the disease to fulﬁll my vision of clean air, clean water, and healthy communities.”

Mom, television producer/writer, and obsessive internet researcher. Though her name suggests otherwise, she is not (yet) an actual yogi.

To advertirse in ou , Jun e issue Contact Leigh Ann Moody leighann.moody@mountaintimes.com · (828)264-6397 ext.271

aawmag.com facebook.com/aawnc

From left, Karen Sabo, Grace Palacios-Will and Kay McKloske enjoy a champagne toast during the official merger of the Appalachian Women’s Fund and the High Country Women’s Fund at Bistro Roca in April. The new organization is called the Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge. Photo by Jeff Eason

Women’s funds merge efforts, goals ‘I hope we can use our good fortune to help other women and children in our area who are less fortunate.’ - Karen Sabo A merger that has been in the works for months has ﬁnally become official. In early Apr., members of the High Country Women’s Fund and the Appalachian Women’s Fund gathered to say goodbye to their former organizations and say hello to the new Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge. The event took place at Bistro Roca Restaurant in Blowing Rock with about 100 members of the new organization in attendance. During the event, Kay McKloske and Grace Palacios-Will thanked outgoing directors, Parker Stevens of the Appalachian Women’s Fund and Rebecca Moore of the High Country Women’s Fund, for their contributions to their respective organizations. They also thanked members of the

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

transitional board for helping smooth the way for the merger of the two groups, especially Tricia Wilson and John Turner for assistance with the legal aspects of the merger. Karen Sabo was introduced as the executive director of the new Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge. Formerly, Sabo ran the New Opportunity School for Women at Lees-McRae College in Banner Elk. “I hope we can use our good fortune to help other women and children in our area who are less fortunate,” says Karen. “People who know me, know that I hate waste. We don’t want to spend any money that could be used to help our clients. “And I don’t like the waste of human lives, of women and children in our area not reaching their full potential. Women living in poverty and not being able to further their education. Women with self-

esteem issues because they have been living with a violent partner.” “This is the kind of waste we can all ﬁght together if we remain strong and dedicated to helping our sisters in our community,” she says. The Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge is dedicated to raising money for various organizations that work to better the lives of women and children in a seven-county region in Western North Carolina, including Ashe, Avery and Watauga counties. The new organization’s initial fundraising event will be the ﬁrst WFBR Fundraising Luncheon to be held at the Linville Ridge Country Club on Thursday, June 26. For more information, visit www.wom ensfundoftheblueridge.org. Jeff Eason jeff.eason@mountaintimes.com

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Fibromyalgia

From Someone who knows by Clarissa Shepherd

May 12 is a national awareness day for chronic fatigue syndrome and ﬁbromyalgia. Those of us living with either or both diagnoses, whether bedridden or housebound, know they can be thieves of dreams. They have very similar symptoms, yet each illness can vary in degree of severity and can only be properly diagnosed by a doctor who is knowledgeable in such illnesses. Primary symptoms include, but are not limited to, non-restorative sleep, chronic vertigo, dizziness, difficulty with balance, memory loss, brain fog, tremors, night sweats, swollen lymph nodes, various stomach issues, allergies, sore skin, muscle pain and weakness, muscle spasms, difficulty swallowing, chronic migraines, exhaustion beyond description, low grade fever, and sensitivity to light, sound, movement, odors and heat. It’s like living as if we have the ﬂu 24/7, 365 days a year. Those of us who are living with these illnesses are known to be courageous beyond words — heroes of a unique kind. It’s amazing, really, how we face such pain each day, yet continuing to survive. During this time of awareness, I encourage those of you who know someone

living with one of these illnesses, to reach out in kindness. Make a phone call or send a card. Words of kindness are powerful and take little effort, yet can mean so much to those living in isolation. Walking In Strength For those of us who face chronic illness each day, thinking positively is not an easy task. It’s not as if we dwell on the negative, yet the negative ﬁnds us. We not only deal with daily pain and the many other symptoms — we also deal with all of life’s ups and downs. We do a grand job by enduring as many symptoms as we do, each and every day, while still surviving. For us, the long list of symptoms is daunting. Learning to live within our limitations is not a negative thing, yet it requires us to rearrange our lives, in order to live it. It demands discovering new and creative ways of doing daily tasks, new ways of coping, new ways to entertain yourself — and new talents that you didn’t know you had. Our journey may be very difficult. It may be very long and tiresome, yet we learn to do it with such grace. Being “productive” has a different meaning; not everyone’s level of productivity is the same. And that’s OK. We’re still alive and moving ever for-

ward, as we learn to maneuver. We’ve accepted the challenge and have looked it right in the face. That’s courage. We are still vital human beings. This illness is not of our own making. Its not who we are, as individuals — it’s just where we are. We show our strength and courage with each breath we take, every obstacle we overcome, and each time we learn new ways to cope. We are fearless, even in our pain. There will be those in our lives who don’t — or won’t — understand what we face each day. Chronic illness has taught me one very important thing: some people will ﬁll you up, while others will drain you. Choose wisely. Don’t forget that we are wonderful, just as we are. We have a type of bravery that’s seldom seen, for we live it in solitude. We see it and we know it’s there. We must believe it for ourselves. This strength, that deﬁnes who we are, is in us, beside us and in front of us. We must know this and allow the light that’s shining, ever so brightly in us, to guide us, hold us, and sustain us. We are the description of courage. Note: Clarissa Shepherd is the author of “Find Your Way,” available at www.amazon.com MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Inspired to succeed

NC native Bobbie Jo Swinson moved here from Wilmington to complete her education at ASU, and is now focusing on helping to reduce the effects of urban development.

In the coming month, hundreds of students will graduate from local schools and colleges. Some will go directly into the work force, some will pursue their studies further, but all will begin unforgettable journeys that would not have been made possible without education. Three of those students are Nakia Hewitt, Monica May and Bobbie Jo Swinson. Each of these women is driven to bring about change in their community, and they are all using their unique gifts and skills to turn their aspirations into careers. Appalachian State University senior Nakia Hewitt loves public speaking and communicating with others. She is pursuing broadcasting, and hopes to use that platform to educate people who would otherwise be uninformed. Monica May, a wife and mother, has earned an associate’s degree from 20

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Caldwell Community College and is becoming a registered nurse. As a Watauga County native, she looks forward to expanding her nursing opportunities and continuing to care for others. NC native Bobbie Jo Swinson moved here from Wilmington to complete her education at ASU, and is now focusing on helping to reduce the effects of urban development. Although these women come from different backgrounds, they have all had to face challenges to reach their goals. Their determination and positivity is admirable. Nelson Mandela once said, “Education is the most powerful tool which you can use to change the world.” If that is true, then these women are well equipped to bring about positive changes of their own.

Nakia Hewitt As an electronic media broadcasting major, Nakia Hewitt knows the value of

being informed. “I’m especially interested in news,” she says, “Because it’s a way to spread knowledge to people who would otherwise have gone uninformed.” Raised in Charlotte as the youngest of six children, Nakia has nurtured a lifelong love of public speaking, communicating with others, and being informed. She is planning to turn that passion into a career, and in May, she will graduate from ASU with a bachelor’s degree in communication, with a concentration in electronic media broadcasting, and a minor in business entrepreneurship. Nakia chose ASU for the local scenery, and because of its broadcasting program. She is a member of the communication honors society Lambda Pi Eta, and serves on the student advisory committee by representing her fellow students in electronic media broadcasting. During her sophomore and junior years of college, Nakia’s mother suffered

a series of strokes. After one of those Monica had to make several sacrifices to strokes, Nakia’s roommates piled into her attend college, and she says that “a lack car and went to the hospital with her. “They of resources” was one of the greatest chalstudied for midterms there in the hospital lenges she and her family had to overwaiting room,” come. “Nursshe says. “I have ing school can been so blessed change your life with the friends I for a long time,” have here.” she says. “We In Feb. 2013, had to change Nakia’s mother the way we live. passed away. NaYou have to kia cites her famchange what satily as her greatest isfies you in life, source of encourand what you agement — and can be happy her mother, in with.” As an electronic media broadcasting major, Nakia Hewitt particular. “My knows the value of being informed. Despite the difmom was always ficulties, Monica an advocate for education,” she says. has maintained a positive attitude. “Faith, Currently working for ASU’s radio stafamily and friends is what has gotten tion, Nakia sees herself progressing tome through this process,” she says with ward working in television broadcasting. a smile, “And when I say friends, I mean “I love radio, I love its environment, it’s so my nursing class. We’ve pulled each other relaxed,” she says. “Television is more forthrough some difficult situations.” mal, but I like the idea of it. I want to be in On May 9, she will graduate from the action.” Caldwell Community College and beRegardless of where her career takes come a registered nurse. Monica is open her, it’s clear that Nakia is bound for sucto the idea of furthering her nursing educess. She smiles and says, “If I can help to cation again and pursuing a bachelor’s deinform people and change their knowlgree, but for now, she’s focusing on helpedge for the better, I would die happy.” ing others through nursing. “I feel like, in the long run, if you take care of your comMonica May munity, it’ll take care of you.” Watauga County native Monica May Bobbie Jo Swinson is no stranger to nursing. After being a In a time of vast urban development, licensed practical nurse for 17 years, she Bobbie Jo Swinson’s mission is simple: decided to increase her career opportuni“I just want to save the world, as much ties by earning as possible, from turning into a concrete an associate’s jungle.” degree in nursIn 2004, Bobbie Jo was living in Wilming. “I just like ington and working as a hair stylist. She caring for peoobserved urban expansion in Wilmington, ple and taking and eventually discovered that upcoming care of others, road construction would destroy wetlands I didn’t realize near the city. “I started to do research on it was going to wetland ecosystems, and became fascinatbe a lifelong ed,” she says. Eventually, Bobbie Jo began thing,” she says. Monica May, a wife and to consider going back to school, and setIt’s easy to mother, has earned an astled on studying Appropriate Technology. see that nurs- sociate’s degree from Caldwell Community College and is ASU caught her attention and she ing and caring becoming a registered nurse. moved to Boone in 2007 to begin studyfor the commuing. “I’m here because I love the mounnity is Monica’s passion. “I don’t think the tains and being in a location where peopublic realizes how important it is to have ple understand the environment around a good nurse take care of you,” she says. them,” she says. However, furthering her education in After earning her bachelor’s degree in nursing has not been an easy road. As a appropriate technology, Bobbie Jo began wife and mother of a 5-year-old daughter,

work on a master’s degree in geography. Throughout her college education, she gravitated toward sustainable resource management, and wanted to work with nature and technology. Bobbie Jo’s experience as a hair stylist came into play when she began conducting gray water research, for which she received a grant from the US Environmental Protection Agency. Gray water research involves “taking salon shampoo water, running it through a series of ﬁltration systems to purify it and then using it for toilet ﬂushing.” She is currently in her third year of research, and estimates that thousands of gallons of potable water per year can be saved by this method. “I just want to educate other people on ways they can help reduce negative impacts on the environment,” Bobbie Jo says. The next step in that journey will be in May, when she graduates from ASU with a masters degree in geography. Laine Isaacs Laine Isaacs is a Watauga County native and freelance writer. Her favorite things include traveling, dancing, making people laugh, and beating her family at Scrabble.

Special Gifts Perfect for Graduation and Mother’s Day including designs by

Large Selection of Fine Jewelry

and Phillip Gavriel

Spirit Pearls available in your favorite team colors

Plus

• Journey Lockets • • Christian Marriage Symbol Jewelry • • LeStage Convertible Collection •

Tues-Fri 9-5; Sat 9-3; Sun and Mon closed

Newland, NC (828)733-0186 Like us on

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

YouGoGirl

Teen Dedicates

Sweet 16 Party to the

Hungry

For her “Sweet 16” birthday party in March, WHS sophomore Madison Winebarger of Vilas requested that guests bring food to donate to the Hunger and Health Coalition, rather than bring something for her.

When Madison Winebarger of Vilas, a sophomore at Watauga High School, celebrated her 16th birthday in March, she was surrounded by dozens of family members and friends — and lots of food. That’s a typical scenario for a birthday party, you might imagine, but not hundreds of pounds of food — canned items and boxed staple goods — to feed hundreds of people. For months prior to her milestone celebration, Madison had made it clear to her mother that if she had a party, she did not want presents for herself. Instead, the generous teen said she wanted guests to bring food for the Hunger and Health Coalition in Boone. “It’s the most awkward thing at a party to sit there opening presents with everyone watching, anyway,” says Madison. “Plus, I knew that food would go a long way to help those who need things a lot more than I do.”

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

The idea surprised no one who knows the humble, compassionate youngster. She has a generous heart, her friends and family members say, and she likes to do things for others. Madison assisted with annual food drives when she was in elementary school at Cove Creek, and has been involved in the success of various nonproﬁt and fundraising opportunities since then. After helping deliver food to the Hospitality House last fall, following a fundraiser for her cousin who had undergone open- heart surgery, Madison began devising her plan. “I saw what it meant to the people there that night, and I thought doing something like that would be fun.” When her 16th birthday drew near and party plans began to materialize, invitations went out with one simple instruction: Instead of bringing gifts for Madison, please bring food for the Hunger Coalition.

Neither Madison nor her family members were prepared for the results of her request. On Saturday, Mar. 8, approximately 100 people came to the party, bearing bags and boxes of items for the food pantry — so much so, that the family had to call for the agency’s van to come pick it up. “This was a wonderful idea and a great surprise,” says Compton Fortuna, who, at the time was executive director at the Health and Hunger Coalition. “I was touched that Madison wanted to use her birthday to help local families. To be so giving and unselﬁsh at such a young age is truly inspirational.” Initial reports indicated that more than 700 pounds of food were collected, with more coming in sporadically from those who were unable to attend the party. Others, still, gave Madison gift cards for food, for which she and her mother shopped and delivered to the coalition, long after the party candles were extin-

guished. “At this time of year, food donations are down,” says Compton. “The contributions made on Madison’s behalf have helped make a huge difference. Madison had also obtained pamphlets for her guests about the Hunger and Health Coalition, “to increase awareness of the organization and its mission,” she says. “I never wanted this to be about me, but about people who are hungry.” The success of the project was exciting to the teen. “I can’t deny that this has been very emotional for me,” she says. “I didn’t think it would bring in that much food; I thought maybe 300 pounds would be all.” It’s always good to see people come together and to do something like that, she says. “I can’t take the credit for it. It wouldn’t have happened without the help of a lot of people who came and brought food.” She adds, “The love and support of my family and friends during my birthday blew my mind. They are the reasons other families have food now.” We had to ask Madison if she received personal gifts for her birthday. “Oh my goodness,” she says, “My family gave me a car. I didn’t expect it at all. They surprised me by fixing up my grandmother’s car for me. She died a while back and I loved her so much. It was a nice surprise.” She also received jewelry “and a few other things”, she says. Another unexpected gift came just days after her birthday when Madison was notified that she is being awarded a scholarship to Wesleyan College in Macon, Ga. “It’s $10,000 that’s renewable annually for four years,” she says. “I am very grateful for that.” Madison is an honor student (with a 4. 1 grade point average) who loves her health occupations class and plans to pursue a career in the medical field. “I’d like to work maybe with the Red Cross or a similar organization to do disaster relief in places like Africa, or somewhere overseas,” she says. According to Regina Alford, health occupations instructor and sponsor of HOSA at WHS, of which Madison is an active member, “She is a dedicated (secondyear) HOSA member who has not missed a single meeting. She always exceeds my

expectations and is one of the very best students I have ever worked with. I could go on and on about her, but I know that she will bring compassion and a loving heart to the healthcare Just a few of the many boxes and bags of food that were collected for the Hunger and Health Coalition in honor of Madison Winebarger on her 16th birthday. profession. She Photos submitted. is a delight in by helping to refurbish homes. every way.” She has also helped with the Blowing About HOSA, Madison says, “It’s the Rock Tour of Homes, a fundraiser spongreatest club at the high school, in my sored by her friend’s church. opinion. I love Mrs. Alford As one who enjoys naand I love working ‘it’s ture and being out of the blood drives. I doors, Madison the most just like to work, loves ﬁshing, hikperiod, but I awkward thing ing and biking, don’t want “when I have at a party to sit there to be the time,” she one tellopening presents with says. “And ing peolike to everyone watching, anyway, Iread.” ple what to do, rePlus, I knew that food She is gardless the daughwould go a long way to of where ter of Carl I am or help those who need and Michelle what I am Underwood of things a lot more doing.” Vilas, and Greg Madison than I do.’ Winebarger of is also a memMeat Camp. She has ~ says Madison. ber of the Watauga one sister, Alicia Hobbs County Junior Rescue of Lenoir. Squad. “I am really just learning and observing right now, preparing for the future,” she says. sherrie norris She is a member of Mount Vernon Editor, All About Women Baptist Church, through which she has done volunteer mission work in Kentucky

• Courtesy Estimates • Experienced & Knowledgeable Sales Staff • Professional & Warranted Installations MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Nurturing the

Mother-Daughter Relationship “Mothers have the ability to liberate by love or, by neglect, to imprison. They're our ﬁrst teachers; they are our ﬁrst loves.” ~ Maya Angelou

“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise." ~ Alden Nowlan

Happy Mother’s Day! Few subjects inspire more effusive expressions of emotion than having a mother or being a mother. Depending on our experiences and on our disposition, these expressions may be loving and grateful — or they may be ﬁlled with hurt, annoyance and disappointment.

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Certainly these emotions are not mutually exclusive, just as the related experiences as a mother and as a child are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the coexistence of these emotions and experiences is indeed normal, and the ability to express the width and breadth of experiences and emotions within this relationship is a sign

of health. There can be an uncomfortable tension between the love and gratitude felt for our mother — and the hurt and disappointment. This tension seems to have connection to the two quotes referenced at the beginning of this article.

Angelou’s insightful reflection calls our attention to the power of the connection we ordinarily have with the woman who mothers us — and how that power can be both positive and negative. Nowlan’s wisdom may have been influenced, in part, by his family experiences, which included abandonment soon after his birth by the mother who was only 15 at the time. Nowlan’s quote adds to Angelou’s recognition that our mothers (and certainly, that may also include our fathers) are our first loves as young children. It also describes other developmental stages of connection with our parents, in which we rebel — and eventually forgive them and ourselves. This forgiveness of our parents and of ourselves may or may not come close together in time. Sometimes we have to go through this process more than once. One or both parts of this element of forgiveness may be stunted by various issues such as abuse, other trauma, death, other loss, illness and addiction. Typically, forgiveness of parents and self is closely intertwined, with forgiveness of self quite difficult — without forgiveness of parents. Additionally, the need for forgiveness of parents may be difficult to imagine because of loyalty, anger or fear. As a “good-Southern woman,” a “goodChristian woman,” a “good daughter,” or any of the other “good” descriptors we may want to reserve for ourselves, it may be hard to think long enough — or fully enough — to examine areas of hurt or disappointment in order to gain understanding and allow forgiveness. Yet, it is true that this process of examination opens the way for a fuller, healthier, more honest, kinder, and more loving relationship with others and with ourselves. When we forgive our parents, we can be freed to forgive ourselves. We are also free to love our mothers and fathers in a more authentic way. As Nowlan asserted, wisdom comes in our forgiveness of ourselves, and this self-forgiveness allows freedom for genuine love of self — and to develop a greater embracing of life. This wisdom and full embracing of love allows for an unreserved celebration of Mother’s Day, of mothers, and of mothering, in a different way.

For the woman who is a also a mother, this process takes on another level of importance, as patterns are demonstrated for children — and examples are set for how forgiveness may be handled for the inevitable hurts and disappointments that we will provide as mothers. Forgiveness of our mother — for the small and large ways she hurt and disappointed us — may be done with our mother, and may be a process we do individually, especially when she is no longer alive. Being able to examine how our mother’s actions — or inactions impacted us — and perhaps some of what may have impacted her behaviors, may be integral to this growth and developmental task for us. This developmental task often includes insight into how our mother’s actions or inactions may have been informed or motivated, by less information than we now have. Maybe she was truly doing the best she could do at the time, though we were still hurt without her intending to hurt us. Of course, some people were hurt willfully by their mothers — and that may be more difficult to forgive. Some people nev-

er really achieve this growth and are certainly able to continue to love and manage their lives. Still, the fullness I witness for people who invest in exploring this process — and growing the possibilities of loving in a more complex way — is a beautiful and exciting thing. Being able to partner with someone you trust, such as a therapist, friend, and/ or clergy, can be very helpful during parts of this growth and development; looking closely at hurts and wounds can be quite hard to do alone. Of course, partnering together with your mother, when you have that opportunity and willingness, for at least parts of the journey, can be the best gift either of you can give the other. What a beautiful gift — the gift of honest and complex love.

MARY MCKINNEY, MA, LMFT Mary McKinney is a licensed marriage and family therapist at McKinney & Associates Marriage and Family Therapy, Inc., located at 805 State Farm Road in Boone. For more information, ﬁrst time inquiries may call (828) 773-5463; others may call (828) 268-0155; visit www. mckinneyMFT.com, or email mary@mckinneyMFT.com.

Photo by Todd BushÂŠ www.bushphoto.com

Reaching Greater Heights

with

Kim Jochl

Kim Jochl is no stranger to reaching greater heights, but for the majority of her life, her greatest achievements have been associated with the ski industry. As a junior world ski champion in the late 1980s, and a nine-year member of the United States Women’s Alpine Ski Team, Kim has received numerous accolades through the years, recognized both internationally and in America for her incredible talent as a world class skier — and for her love and enthusiasm for the sport. Currently the vice-president and director of marketing and merchandising at Sugar Mountain Resort in Banner Elk, Kim has recently unleashed a new passion that takes her soaring even higher than the most challenging slope. In late 2013, Kim obtained her private pilot’s license, a personal accomplishment that is different than anything she’s ever done before, she says. “I flew, as a passenger, all over the world during my competitions,” she says, “and when I met my husband, Gunther, who is a longtime, avid pilot, I flew everywhere with him.” Several years ago, however, Kim developed a fear of flying, but she was encouraged to overcome her trepidations and take things into her own hands. Not surprising to anyone who knows her, Kim did just that — and more, last Spring, with the same grace and finesse that she handles any challenge. “Something just clicked,” she says. Soon, she was taking lessons at the airport in Elizabethton, Tenn. She clearly remembers “being a nervous wreck inside and shaking,” she says, when she took the pilot’s seat of the Sky Hawk 172 for the first time — and many times after that. It was “a small plane,” she describes, in which most students learn to fly. Eighty hours of training, lots of emotion and six months later, Kim received her license, calling it “a huge accomplishment.”

Welcoming an early ski season on Oct. 31, 2012 was a treat for Kim Jochl as she interviewed with news reporters for the unique Halloween opening. Photo submitted

“I was anxious, but not scared during my first solo flight,” Kim says. “Unexpectedly, the feeling of emptiness in my plane was eerie and lonely; I never realized the presence and space my instructor took up until he got out and I was all alone. But no worries, I just pretended he was there the whole time. Every minute I talked out loud to myself.” Kim says with lots of excitement. “I flew two patterns. After each landing, I began to feel a little more confident.” With each additional solo flight, it has become easier. Her first flight with Gunther as her passenger brought great pride, she says. “He had been so supportive of me through the entire (licensing) process,” Kim says. “Once I had my license I flew him from Elizabethton over Beech, Sugar and Grandfather Mountains, and over Pineola, Crossnore and Spruce Pine, before heading back to Elizabethton. It was the most sightseeing he had ever done over the High Country as a passenger. He had lots of encouraging and nice things to say, which meant a lot to me.”

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Even with her license, Kim says, “I still have so much to learn about ﬂying, but I am on my way. It’s a great feeling.”

Where it all began Kim grew up in Massachusetts with her twin sister, Krista, who is older by 10 minutes. “Our father, who is from Austria, is very athletic, and always had us doing something to keep active,” she says. “At 2, we were skiing in our backyard. We swam, played soccer, played basketball, baseball, and road our bikes everywhere. He always encouraged sports and competition, and made us feel as though we could do anything, if we work hard and have self-discipline.” Both of her parents encouraged a healthy and homey lifestyle. “Mom was laid back about sports. Any result, good or bad was fantastic. She always said, ‘Oh, honey you did terriﬁc.” Their mother made sure her family always had a good home-cooked meal, which most often included homemade

desserts like chocolate chip cookies, apple pie, pudding and occasional store bought ice cream. Krista and I love ice cream,” Kim says. Those early days helped set the stage for her future career as a celebrated athlete. Kim and Krista skied competitively as youngsters and ﬁrst earned their spot on the U.S. Ski Team before racing competitively worldwide on North American, Europa Cup and World Cup circuits, as members of the National Alpine Ski Team. In 1986, Kim was also awarded the Headmasters Award at the Stratton Mountain School, a highly acclaimed private ski academy in Vermont, which she attended. Her medals began piling up in 1987 when she took the bronze medal at the World Alpine Junior Championships in Sweden, followed by gold in Alaska, two years later. In 1990, she captured the title of Overall North American Super G Champion, took the bronze in U.S Nationals Combined, captured ﬁfth place in the U.S Nationals Super G, and ranked 32 on the World’s Best list.

[My Father] always encouraged sports and competition, and made us feel as though we could do anything, if we work hard and have self-discipline. - Kim Jochl

the ski/snowboard camp, Host, on the board and as treasurer for the working with kids and Sugar Mountain Ski and Snowboard Founadults of all ages. dation, and as an athletic representative to While earning her dethe board of directors for the US Alpine gree in Hospitality ManSki Team. agement from Appalachian In 2011, Ski Area Management MagaState University, Kim came zine awarded Kim the coveted SAMMY to Sugar Mountain Resort award, which honors leaders in the ski in her first official capacindustry for their great talent, energy and ity in 1993 as the special enthusiasm. events director; eight years A part of her community service in later, she filled the vacant which she takes great pride —“and for position as director of marwhich I am grateful to be part of,” Kim keting, which expanded her says, is her place on the executive board of duties to include advertisthe YMCA of Avery County. It’s an organiing, promotions, communization near and dear to her heart, she says. Kim Jochl, left, gets an early start on the slopes with her father Elmar cations, event management, Referring to herself as “a product of the Schmidinger, and her twin sister, Krista, near their home in Lenox, Mass., and program development. Y mission,” Kim remembers the impact where Elmar was a ski instructor. Photo submitted In 2005, she assumed manthat her neighborhood YMCA had on her agement of the sports shop, also. young life and wants local youth to have Finding North Carolina Today, Kim is a busy wife, mother and those same opportunities, she says. businesswoman whose Kim first discovered the mountains of world revolves around North Carolina in 1990 when she and her the ski industry, but her sister, Krista came to Banner Elk on a trip reach extends far from hosted by one of their sponsors. Sugar Mountain. “We didn’t even know it snowed in Kim leads the North North Carolina, never mind skiing,” Kim Carolina Ski Areas Assays, “It was a lot like Massachusetts, but sociation as president, a the mountains here are bigger and steeppost she has held on sever. We loved it.” eral occasions through The sibling duo eventually moved the years, as well as that here and become advocates of NC skiing. of treasurer. She is also Kim became a product tester and repan Alpine offi cial (referresentative of Kneissl/Dachstein Sports, ee) through the U.S. Ski Inc., in Banner Elk (1994-1998), promoting Association. new ski and ski boot products, and parKim has also chaired ticipating in the Ski Industries of America the Sugar Mountain trade show in Las Vegas. Tourism Development From 1993-2000, Kim spent four weeks Authority, served on each summer as camp director and spethe NC Planning Board cial guest coach at the Red Lodge Internafor the Village of Sugar tional Summer Ski/Snowboard Camp in Mountain, the board of Aiming high is nothing new for Kim Jochl, as evidenced by this photo of her Red Lodge, Montana. Her job was to plan, flying over Banner Elk. Photo by Todd Bush© www.bushphoto.com the NC High Country organize, advertise, recruit and implement MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

“It also helps keep me aware of what’s beyond Sugar Mountain,” she says. “The people on the board are all terriﬁc and are there for all the right reasons.” She co-chaired the Y’s capital campaign committee (2006-2007), which raised $2 million; she calls it “a wonderful challenge,” to be a part of a meaningful local project from dream to reality. Kim is a well-rounded, multi-talented wife and mother who also enjoys spending time in the kitchen, baking. In 2007, and again in 2010, she won blue ribbons at the Avery County Fair for her delicious drop chocolate chip cookies. She learned a lot from her mother, who was “always baking,” she says. “We also grew a large garden when I was young, and we harvested lots and lots of vegetables for the winter.” She speciﬁcally remembers apple picking, from which her mother taught her to make pies and sauces. “Every fall, Dad loaded us up in our yellow VW bus and we headed about an hour west to Philips Orchard in New York State,” she says. “We picked (and ate) loads

Kim Jochl, world-class skier, lives her dream at Sugar Mountain Resort, where she not only hits the slopes every day during ski season, but also serves as vice-president and director of marketing and merchandising. Photo submitted

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

and loads of apples. To this day I remember the crisp, cold, juicy delicious taste of a fresh New England McIntosh or Cortland apple. So tasty.” Kim also enjoys ﬁnding time to read, especially historical biographies and novels, naming as her favorites, “Gone with the Wind,” “War and Peace,” and most recently Mark Twain’s “Joan of Arc.” She really likes winter fashion and the latest skiing apparel and outerwear. And, she loves hot chocolate, “made with whole milk and topped with fresh, real whipped cream on a frigid, snowy winter day,” she says. Kim works out to stay ﬁt, year-round, but during the winter, it’s a good bet that she will take at least one run a day down the slopes.

Back at the resort Helping to operate one of the Southeast’s major ski resorts is no small feat, Kim admits. And, it’s not just a winter job. “We are very busy and work really hard, especially from Oct. – Mar.,” Kim

says. “Even when the season begins to slow down, there is still a lot to be done.” The Jochls and their management team quickly transition to follow-up mode about this time every year, analyzing and reviewing each season, and deciding what they can do to make it better for the next year. They never really slow down, “until about July,” Kim says, but even then, summers are utilized to implement changes for the upcoming season “and to ensure we maintain viable and fun summer activities, too.” Kim applauds the “great team,” that makes Sugar Mountain Resort the success that it is, saying the longevity of their crew speaks for itself. “Some of our staff have been here for 20 years or longer,” she says, “including our director of operations, Warren Hodges, who has been at Sugar since it ﬁrst opened in 1969. Some of our seasonal employees come back, year after year. We consider them a part of our family.” Sugar Mountain employees approximately 500 each year.

Kim Jochl with her husband, Gunther, their daughter Olivia, and their dog, Snoopy, enjoy special times together. Photo submitted

On the home front Kim makes her home in Sugar Mountain, with her husband Gunther Jochl, president and owner of Sugar Mountain Resort, and their daughter, Olivia, 13, a student at Valle Crucis Elementary School. Olivia plays the violin and enjoys gymnastics, ice-skating, snowboarding — and

yes, skiing, which she also does competitively. Their newest addition to the Jochl family is a hound named Snoopy. What does Kim and her family do in their downtime, we asked? “We go skiing — usually out west, in the late spring,” she says. They also visit Gunther’s family in Europe, in particular his mother, who at 87, just gave up riding her bike and cross-country skiing a couple of years ago. “She still runs the snow blower, though.” According to Kim, her mother-inlaw is the energizer bunny, just like her son. “We like to just be

tourists for some of that time,” Kim says. “We ride our bikes a lot and enjoy visiting the villages. We like to drink fresh milk and eat cheese, straight from the farm just down the street. We appreciate living simply when we visit Europe.” Kim’s parents still live in Mass. and visit Sugar often; her twin sister, Krista Schmidinger, also a U.S. Women’s Alpine Ski Team veteran and two-time Olympian, now works passionately on growing her ladies luxury ski basics company, Savine. Her brother, Erich Schmidinger, also an award-winning skier, is Sugar Mountain Resort’s ski area and resort manager; her sister Sherri Herland, a recreational skier, lives on Sugar Mountain and works for the Village of Sugar Mountain.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

Kim Jochl enjoys her first flight as a pilot with her father as her passenger. MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

The Invention of Wings At the heart of Sue Monk Kidd’s third novel, “The Invention of Wings,” lays life’s inevitable truth that we must find ways to transcend our circumstances and let our spirits fly. Throughout her childhood, slave Hetty Handful Grimke’s mother tells her of a time when the people of Africa “ flew like blackbirds.” Rubbing the skinny bones that stick out from her daughter’s back, she promises, “This all what left of your wings. They nothing but these flat bones now, but one day you gon’ get ‘em back.” And, eventually, through many painful struggles, Handful finds ways for her “wings” to break through skin — and fly. Intertwining fact and fiction, “The Invention of Wings,” weaves together the voices of white abolitionist Sarah Grimke and the slave she is given at age 11, Hetty Handful. Set in 1803, the novel follows both characters through friendship, degradation and betrayal, and leaves them in 1838 on a dangerous mission to claim freedom, peace, and love. Facing an onslaught of battles for both their race and gender, Sarah and Handful faithfully pursue their belief that every human being has the right to his or her own voice, as well as the right for that voice to be heard. Inspired by Judy Chicago’s “The Dinner Party,” a monumental piece of art which honors the lives of women important to the feminist movement, the author became interested in Sarah and Angelina Grimke, sisters who grew up in Charleston and became infamous abolitionists and feminists in the 1800s. Choosing a variety of sources to piece together the facts of their lives, Sue uses the voice of the elder sister, Sarah, to tell the story of the passionate writings and lectures they used to challenge the South’s staunch belief in slavery and the country’s opinion that women should be seen and not heard. Eventually a “public mutineer” and spokeswoman for the abolitionists, Sarah faces a lifelong struggle with stuttering that begins at age 4 when she witnesses the severe beating of a slave. Always against slavery, she is forced to accept Handful as a birthday present. Undeterred, Sarah continues to finds ways to rebel against the constraints of slavery and the social mores that unite the South. She illegally teaches Handful to read and write, and promises Handful’s mother to “hep her any way you can to get free.” Exhausted by the cruelty of the South, Sarah moves north to study the beliefs of the Quakers. Eventually, without stammering, she is given the platform to speak “quietly about the evils of slavery 32

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

that I’d seen with my own eyes. I spared them nothing.” Few facts are known about Sarah’s slave, Hetty Handful. It is recorded that she was given as a gift and died shortly afterward. Here is where Sue’s imagination takes over to create the story of a young slave girl and her mother, and to explore their love and ﬁght for freedom. Handful uses her inherited gifts as a seamstress to piece together the story of her mother’s life — as she has worked it into the cloth she leaves behind when she escapes the Grimke’s. Handful’s search for her mother takes her into an undercover world where a freed black man works to begin an uprising within the city of Charleston. As she endures beatings, a 14-year separation from her mother, and witnesses the death of man who inspired her, Handful holds true to her belief, “My body might be a slave, but not my mind.” While writing the novel, Sue kept the words of professor Julius Lester propped on her desk: “History is not just facts and events. History is also a pain in the heart and we repeat history until we are able to make another’s pain in the heart our own.” Through the powerful voices of Sarah and Handful, Kidd exposes readers to a world of hatred, shameful pride and brutality in a way that beautifully makes their pains our own and teaches us what it means to be free.

About the Author

In her early writing career, Sue Monk Kidd’s work focused on contemplative spirituality and feminist theology. Published often in Guidepost, Sue’s meditations and reﬂections challenged the tenets of traditional Christianity and inspired a search for a closer relationship with the Divine. In her early 40s, she began writing ﬁction, and in 2002 Viking

published her debut novel, “The Secret Life of Bees.” A literary phenomenon, Bees was on the New York Times bestseller list for 2½ years, translated into 36 languages, and adapted by Fox Searchlight as a movie. Sue’s second novel, “The Mermaid Chair” (Viking 2005), also received acclaim on the bestseller list, was translated into 25 languages, and was selected by Lifetime for ﬁlm. In 2009, Viking published a memoir, “Traveling with Pomegranates,” which Sue co-authored with her daughter, Ann Kidd Taylor. This book, subtitled “A Mother-Daughter Story,” follows their journey through Greece and Rome. In January 2014, Viking released her third novel, “The Invention of Wings,” which has been chosen as an Oprah 2.0 selection and is on the New York Times bestseller list. Born in Sylvester, Ga., Sue now resides with her family in Florida. For more information, including readings and events, view her website at www.sunmonkkidd.com.

Rehabilitation Services Physical, Occupational & Speech Therapies Long-Term Nursing Care Respite & Hospice Care

Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

211 Milton Brown Heirs Road • Boone 828 264 6720 • www.Glenbridge.org MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Connie Trivette on mission in Bolivian Amazon

The team representing World Medical Missions and Samaritan’s Purse in outlying Bolivia villages recently, enjoys the sites of Lapaz, a city of 1.6 million people, as they prepare to return to the United States. Left to right: Kathy LeFevers, Jan Thompson, Dan Thompson, Charles Miller and Connie Trivette. Photos submitted

Connie Trivette of Boone, a registered nurse employed in health services at Appalachian State University, volunteered two weeks of her time earlier this year for mission work in Bolivia. Connie was one of ﬁve medical professionals from other states recently ministering in several Bolivian villages as part of an ongoing project of Samaritan’s Purse’s World Medical Mission. They served aboard the Ruth Bell River Boat, a mobile medical clinic named in memory of the late Ruth Bell Graham, mother of Samaritan’s Purse President Franklin Graham. 34

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Bringing medical care to the Bolivian Amazon According to Samaritan’s Purse, there are more than 20 native people groups call the Bolivian Amazon home, and each has its own distinct language and culture. Life is not easy for most along the riverbanks, where challenges include growing food, earning income, receiving education and ﬁnding ways of improving lifestyles. Basic health care is virtually nonexistent, due to isolated and harsh environments According to Mary Everett, Samaritan’s Purse spokeswoman, many of the

communities are disconnected from the rest of the world, with no access to land and air transport, communication or basic humanitarian services. Consequently, many are suffering a variety of illnesses and are unaware of basic health and sanitation practices. Many, too, have yet to embrace salvation through faith in Christ, she says. Responding to these needs is the Ruth Bell River Boat.

Rising with the Water Since October 2013, heavy and persis-

A common sight during the medical mission team’s visit to Bolivia included groups of families found huddled under the roof of a house, inches from rising water.

tent rains have caused catastrophic ﬂooding in Bolivia, destroying livestock, crops and homes and claiming dozens of lives. Samaritan’s Purse responded by mobilizing staff and resources to help hundreds of vulnerable families. On Jan. 27, the Bolivian government declared a state of emergency in the area, following reports that 80 municipalities had been affected. Beni, where Samaritan’s Purse has a regional office, is one of the worst affected areas. Nearly 4,000 families are currently displaced, some having been sent to shelters or relocated to tents along the roads of the city of Trinidad.

Her new supervisor was supportive, as were her family, friends and church family. On Feb. 15, Connie met her team members at the Charlotte airport; they returned March 1, but not before making memories for a lifetime. “It conﬁrmed to me that God loves everybody, that this world is big, and that everybody has a need for the Lord in their lives,” she says. “It was a blessing to be a small piece of sharing God’s love, and to be a part of what Samaritan’s Purse does every day, all over the world.” From Lapaz Bolivia , the team rode a small plane to Trinidad, the closest city to their destination, and took a smaller boat to the Ruth Bell Riverboat, which became their combined home and clinic for the next two weeks, with rooms converted, as needed, for treating patients.” The team was introduced to Tom Covington, Samaritan’s Purse’s site manager who oversees the riverboat mission.

First time out It was Connie’s ﬁrst time out of the United States, which, she says, “required a leap of faith.” A member of Beaver Dam Baptist Church, Connie contemplated a foreign mission trip for a long time, but circumstances and responsibilities prevented it. Soon after completing her application with Samaritan’s Purse for mission work, an opportunity presented itself, at the same time she was changing jobs.

Many people came by boat for a chance to see the medical team on the Ruth Bell River Boat.

Hygiene kits, which include soap, towels, blankets, toothbrushes, toothpaste and chlorine drops to purify water for drinking, are assembled and ready to be distributed throughout the villages.

“He and his wife are wonderful people who do amazing work,” Connie says. It wasn’t the typical experience for most medical teams, Connie says, “But, it was what God planned. We worked our clinics around the needs of the people. They were very happy to receive hygiene kits, and even happier that we didn’t forget them in their time of need.” Morning devotions and breakfast were followed each day by clinics, which lasted into the evenings, with a midday break for lunch. “The people we treated were so kind and appreciative,” she says, and their concerns were many — from parasites to polio. “Everyone recognizes the medical cross on the boat and know they can come there for help,” she says.

Praying with patients and their families, asking God to intervene and restore health, was a big part of their mission, Connie says. “And some we couldn’t do anything to ﬁx,” she says, “including their spirituality.” She’s glad for the presence there of Samaritan’s Purse, she says, “which helps them know truth.” Meeting the cook, “a Boilvian Christian woman with a great testimony,” was a highlight of her trip, Connie says. “She had endured a difficult past, but now she and her son both work for Samaritan’s Purse.” The food was delicious and included traditional fare and some exotic dishes, such as Armadillo and alligator, the latter of which she tried and found “interesting.” Showering, even in muddy water pumped from the river, was comforting, after long hours in high temperatures and humidity. The mobile clinic was tied up along the river at night. “I couldn’t help but wonder what creatures were lurking out there in the dark,” Connie says. The hardest part for Connie was wishing she could do more and stay longer. “I knew people were praying for me and I had a real sense of peace the whole time,” she says. “I never once questioned why I was there, but I wanted to make sure God used me for his glory while I was there.” She hopes to do something similar again. “But if I don’t, I’m happy for this experience,” she said.

Just one of many homes and families affected by rising floodwaters in the isolated Bolivian villages receiving aid from Samaritan’s Purse and World Medical Missions. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Wish were here you

Those who are still in school do not have to be reminded that it’s almost time for a break. As for the rest of us, it’s the perfect time to celebrate the arrival of spring — and the anticipation of summer — by planning a little vacation. Before taking off, we all need a packing list, complete with our favorite vacation “essentials.” I’m usually guilty of over-packing, whether for a vacation, a 30-minute drive, or a trip to the zoo. I can’t help it. I’m a chronic sufferer of the “what ifs.” I like to be prepared for every possible scenario. However, I began to form new a plan recently while remembering lugging around overweight suitcases and a loaded-down backpack, both of which contained items I wouldn’t touch again on my trip. My shoulders begin to ache at the thought. So I got down to business as I began thinking about my planned activities for my next trip, and the basic necessities that I knew I would need.

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Think about these things:

Before taking off, we all need a packing list, complete with all of our favorite vacation “essentials.”

I began to build my wardrobe and planning my daily outﬁts from that point. By simply changing my approach, an amazing thing happened. I used everything I had taken and had numerous options ready to wear at every turn. Following is a packing list to help guide your wardrobe choices for your next trip. You will be surprised at the extra room in your suitcase for those souvenirs and shopping trip spoils. The list is intended for a 10-day trip, with one visit to the laundry somewhere in the middle. If you are not interested in doing laundry on vacation, then consider your needs and include extras.

• Do you need to start every day with a freshly laundered top? • Can your shorts stand up on their own by the end of the day? • Do you prefer not to wear dresses or skirts on vacation? • Take these questions into consideration and adjust your packing accordingly. Use this list to help ensure that you pack what you need and will actually wear, and not what you think you might need. Have fun planning and packing!

Beach Vacation Basic Packing List (10-Day Trip) Before you set out on your summer voyage, consider a few must-haves to make travel easier for any getaway. • Whether it’s a well-constructed traditional suitcase or a strong duffel bag, make sure it’s the right ﬁt for you and for your trip. • Don’t forget your sunglasses. Quality products, depending on your per-

Don’t forget your big floppy hat. We all know that too much sun can damage your skin, so it’s important to have the hat that blocks the rays, keeps you cool and completes an outfit. sonal preference and budget, will see you through those bright sunny days that you will hopefully be able to enjoy. From the most expensive to those that fit your college budget, there’s the perfect pair for every woman. • Don’t forget your big floppy hat. We all know that too much sun can damage your skin, so it’s important to have the hat that blocks the rays, keeps you cool and completes an outfit. • Many of use have become fans of the cross-body bag, especially for traveling. A small one is perfect for sightseeing and eliminates the huge, heavy bag on your shoulder all day.

The perfect travel attire: Jeans Cotton shirt Slip-on travel shoes, unless you prefer your sandals or ﬂip ﬂops Packing for pleasure: 4 pairs of shorts

Don’t forget your sunglasses. Quality products, depending on your personal preference and budget, will see you through those bright sunny days that you will hopefully be able to enjoy. From the most expensive to those that ﬁt your college budget, there’s the perfect pair for every woman.

1 maxi dress (black, chic, good for a fancy evening out, too) 1 dress (maxi or not) 6 tops (silk or polyester wash and air dry in only a few hours) 1 cardigan 1 pair neutral, go-with-anything sandals 1 pair ﬂip-ﬂops for the sand 1 pair hiking/excursion sandals, if needed 1 cross body purse 1 mini wallet (for safekeeping of your ID, credit cards, cash and insurance cards) 1 sun hat 2 bathing suits (one dries while the other is ready to wear) Suit cover-up (pashminas are awesome and double up as a blanket on the plane, too)

Underwear Accessories: 1 watch 1 pair of sunglasses 1 full set of jewelry (matching earrings, necklace and bracelets)

Ready? Set? Go have a blast!

Emily apple Emily Apple is an Appalachian State graduate with a degree in fashion design and merchandising.

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Art

An Expression of Self for Deep Gap Woman

Whether it is through her paintings or her sculptures, for Deep Gap resident Shirley Hampton, art is an expression of self — and one that comes to the surface in the most unique ways. Preferring to allow her creativity to ﬂow on its own accord, Shirley rarely plans ahead and never uses a point of reference, unless for a portrait or other commissioned piece. “Even then,” she says, “I have to do my own thing. I often merge at least two pictures into one to interpret someone’s personality. It doesn’t come out like a simple photograph.” “It’s more natural, that way,” she says, when talking about her method. “You cannot force art.” Shirley’s work is well known around the High Country area and has been shown from Florida to New York and Connecticutt, and everywhere in between. Much of it has also adorned the walls of numerous restaurants and hotels. A long time member of the local art scene — and the High Country Arts Council, in particular — Shirley has enjoyed having had her work displayed at the council’s Open Door Gallery in the Blue Ridge Art Space, since Apr. 10. Her show ends May 6. Shirley is a widow, whose husband was also an artist. “My art is much different than his,” she says. “He was an architect, and his work was very structured.” Despite the differences, her late husband’s inﬂuence is evident in some of her own creations. Shirley has been drawing since childhood. As a little girl, I loved coloring books and I loved to draw, especially houses with picket fences,” she says. “It had to be a happy home.” She also drew faces of her high school

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Photos by Sherrie Norris

Shirley Hampton finds comfort in being surrounded by her works of art, which are created and displayed in her home studio and gallery in Deep Gap.

classmates.” best described as “Shirley style — one Shirley’s first painted portrait was of a kind.” of her mother, which still occupies a “I don’t do reproductions. I don’t special place in her home and heart. want to do the same piece again,” she Describing herself as “basically says. self-taught,” Shirley had a few art lesShirley started out working with sons through the years at Appalachian oils, which she enjoyed, but because State University and in Florida, where she is a “fast painter,” she does better she lived for 20-plus years. with acrylics, she says. “Oil doesn’t dry “I wanted to learn the basics, maybe fast enough for me.” how to mix colors and to stretch canShe loves the fact that paintings vas, things like that, but I didn’t want don’t have to be realistic. any other artists, or their influences, in “I love doing a face with no facial my paintings.” features. It’s all there if you look. I have Rarely using models, Shirley strives sold some of my paintings because clito express her feelings on canvas and ents have told me the faces resemble she paints from imagination. people they know. Some people might “I just walk up to my canvas and see a boy, and some, a girl. I want it to start painting,” she says. “It’s amazing be what it wants to be.” how art evolves. Without knowing She paints “with no rules,” she says. where it’s headed, I often see people “If it comes out good for me, that’s fine. I know emerge, or things I’ve seen Even if it doesn’t, well it doesn’t. I never begin to take shape. Very often, other know until that last moment, and even people immediately recognize faces or then, a little something might need to shapes, as they begin to evolve.” be added.” Shirley’s art is bold and abstract, for While a last minute, “extra touch” These are a few of Shirley Hampton’s many pieces of sculpture that the most part. might complete the project, Shirley she brings to life in her home studio. “I like for my work to stand out, to says, “Knowing when to stop is very For Shirley, the best part of her occupabe vivid,” she says. “My work is original, important.” tion was cutting and coloring hair — creatit’s what’s in here, (pointing to her heart) Art is a personal thing, for both the arting a totally different look for her clients. and has been described, in some cases, as ist and the one viewing it, she adds. “Each Inspired, perhaps, by the possibilities having a dream-like quality. People seem person sees art in a different way. You eiof change wrought by color, Shirley deto like the feeling that comes from my ther fall in love with it right away, or you cided, more than a decade ago, to leave paintings.” don’t.” the scissors behind and focus more on her Alternating from canvas to clay, ShirShirley sees art as an important elebrushes. Paint brushes, that is. ley discovered a deep affection for sculptment in the lives of most people. “I finally decided it’s now or never,” she ing, about six years ago. “Without it, life would be dull,” she says, and she’s never looked back. “I’m loving that (sculpting) almost as says. Having initially established a studio in much as I do my painting,” she says. “I love She is concerned that art is usually “the West Jefferson, Shirley now devotes a part working the clay into abstract expressions first thing to go,” when funding becomes a of her home to her combined studio and — both serious and humorous aspects of problem in public education. gallery. the human spirit.” “Much of our early history comes from “It’s much more convenient and relaxOnce her pieces are kiln-fired, Shirley art — we should never allow it to be cut ing for me this way,” she says. “I just turn paints them, rather than glazing and refrom curriculum,” she says. “We wouldn’t on my classical music and go to work.” turning them to the fire. know anything about our past, if not for With hours spent painting and sculptJust as with her paintings, she says, artists.” ing, Shirley’s work takes on the form “As I sculpt, the piece takes on a life of its In her early days, Shirley also designed mostly of people, “and some animals,” inown, and I just go with it.” stained glass lamps, but moved on, she cluding Arnold, the elephant, that appears Not a traditional artist, Shirley likes for says, due to their limited market. in various pieces, either in a noticeable her finished work to be graphic — “very “I am very surprised at my success as stance, or otherwise hidden in his surbright and impressionistic.” She says most an artist. I am just doing what I love to do,” roundings. of what she does comes out “powerful, and Shirley says. “I rarely paint a landscape or a barn,” bold in appearance.” she says. “There are other local artists who A hairdresser for many years, Shirley’s do plenty of that.” former occupation was an art form, in itsherrie norris Although certain characteristics of her self, she says, but also boring, at times. Editor, All About Women work might resemble that of an abstract or “I did not like doing the same hairimpressionistic artist, she says her work is styles from week to week,” she says. MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

youngatheart

Scarred

for Life Of all the ways to be scarred for life – surviving a shark attack, jumping through a window into a burning building to rescue kittens, hastily shaving one’s legs – I never expected it would come courtesy of my dermatologist. I like the sun; however, because I am very pale, I limit my exposure, lather on the sunscreen and wear large hats. I take great care not to get sun burnt, even using an umbrella as a sunshade if necessary. Even with all that, at every visit my dermatologist, (Dr. Whitaker of Boone Dermatology Clinic), ﬁnds suspicious moles to slice and dice. “Suspicious?” you may ask. All came back from pathology as atypical or dysplastic, those with an appearance different from common moles. While not cancerous, these moles had the potential to become so, if left untreated.

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

The first batch was identified more than 10 years ago during a free screening in May for Skin Cancer Awareness Month. Most of these were on my torso; in the years that followed, I’ve had moles removed from my back, arm and leg. All were fairly small and any scarring was minimal. Because of my history, I am resigned to the fact that my dermatology visits will result in the removal of a mole or two; however, at my last visit, things took a turn for the unexpected. As usual, my doctor found a mole he wanted to remove, this time on my chest. About a week later, I received a call from his nurse explaining that it was severely atypical. “What does that mean?” I asked and received an explanation that on the “bad mole scale” of one to 10, it was a seven. I had to return to have more removed; the procedure would require a deeper and wider incision, as well as stitches. Ignoring my stunned silence, she said that for two weeks I would not be able to travel, do any heavy lifting or any strenuous exercise. After regaining my ability to speak actual words, rather than random grunts of displeasure, I inquired what was considered heavy lifting (10 pounds) and strenuous exercise (anything aerobic or anything putting pressure on my chest). For someone who is at the gym nearly every day, this did not sit well. Indignantly I asked if I could go to my weight lifting class if I used five- pound weights. “No,” she said sternly. “How much are you removing, I wanted to ask, an arm?” Frustrated, I called my nurse mother. “I’m going to turn to flab,” I announced when she answered the phone. After patiently listening to my outrage at all the rules, she laughed and asked if she needed to come and hold my hand. “Maybe” I responded, “And, feed me chocolate and serve me wine through a straw.” I grudgingly realized that I was being a bit dramatic and told her that I would be fine. She agreed that, yes, I would be fine, but encouraged me to take the doctor’s instructions seriously as stiches do take time to heal. I prepared friends, colleagues and my husband, Roger, for what I assumed would be two weeks of utter helplessness. I told

gym buddies that I would be absent. I told my boss that I might be out of work for half a day or so. And, I told Roger that he was going to have to help carry stuff. I even had to downsize my purse to get it below the weight limit. On the big day, my doctor described the procedure in detail, using drawings and diagrams to explain how, when and where he was going to carve out a hunk of my flesh. This honesty was strangely comforting. Then, the nurses proceeded to get me prepped, swabbed and numbed. When all was said and done, I ended up with about an inch worth of stiches. I returned to work bandaged, but otherwise feeling fine. I never felt any real pain, just some mild discomfort over the next few days. And, although it was difficult, I followed the rules and gave the wound time to heal, being now focused less on the potential flab and more on the very real scar. Expecting stares, pointing fingers and questions, I was prepared to explain said scar, but no one asked. I chose necklines that covered it and used the doctor-suggested silicon pads to reduce scarring. These didn’t bond very well and I regularly had to stick my hand down my shirt to put the pad back in place, which resulted in stares, pointing fingers and questions. Six months later, I find that I am less aware of the scar. It has faded somewhat, and I no longer make any attempt to hide it from view. I’m thankful that it was caught and removed before it became something more serious. If being scarred for life means that I can share my story and encourage others to get checked, then maybe it’s less of a scar and more of an experience blemish! Boone Dermatology (169 Birch Street) will be holding its annual Melanoma Screening from 10 am – 2 pm. on Friday, May 9. The screening is free and patients are seen on a first come, first serve basis.

OB/GYN Dr. Wesley

OB/GYN Dr. Polidoro

FNP-C Pam Aiken

Women Taking Care of Women

High Risk Obstetrics, Menopause Management, Pelvic Ultrasound, Evaluation and Treatment of Infertility, Evaluation and Treatment of Gynecologic Cancers (Vulva, Vagina, Cervix, Uterus and Ovaries), Adolescent Health Care, Obstetrical Ultrasound, Laparoscopy and Other Minimally Invasive Surgeries, Evaluation and Treatment of Urinary Incontinence

Now Accepting New Patients 336-667-2232 West Park • 1405 Willow Lane North Wilkesboro, NC 28659

heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological ﬁeld experience. She observes and reports. She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Photo submitted

Boone Native Leading National Transplant Network By Sherrie Norris

Boone native Betsy Jones Walsh, vice president and deputy general counsel with the Charlotte-based Novant Health Inc., was recently elected vice president/presidentelect of the Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network/United Network for Organ Sharing. She becomes the ﬁrst person elected to the post who is neither a clinical professional in organ donation or transplantation. "It's a great honor for me to serve in this role, and shows the willingness of the transplant community to value and trust the input of transplant patients and living donors," Betsy says. "It will help build further trust with members of the general public, who support transplantation through their commitment to donate." The UNOS, based in Richmond, Va., administers the OPTN under contract with the Health Resources and Services Administration of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The OPTN is a public-private partnership that links all of the professionals involved in the donation and transplantation system. The primary goals of the OPTN are to increase the effectiveness and efficiency of organ sharing and equity in the na-

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

tional system of organ allocation, and to increase the supply of donated organs available for transplantation. Betsy’s one-year term as vice president will begin in July with service on the organization's executive committee and the UNOS' corporate affairs committee. She will assume the post of the organization's president in July 2015. Previously, she served on the board of directors and its executive committee, and the membership and professional standards committee. She also spearheaded an effort to rewrite OPTN bylaws in plain language. Her service on the UNOS board was inspired by lessons she learned growing up in Boone, Betsy says. "My parents set an example for my two sisters and me by getting involved in the community to make a positive difference. In the 1970s, my mother, Elaine Jones, was concerned about our education so she ran for Watauga County school board. She not only became the ﬁrst woman on the board, but garnered enough votes to serve as chair." After her mother completed her service on the school board, she continued to be active in the schools, working to establish a girl's high school track team and raise funds for a track. "During a busy career as chair of the

accounting department and as athletic director at App State, my father, Jim Jones, found time to remain active and serve as a leader in organizations as disparate as the Lion's Club and the Southern Conference," she says. "They both still set a shining example of the importance of community service as active volunteers at the local hospital. I learned early in life that if you want to make a difference, you have to get involved." Betsy was a student at Hardin Park Elementary School and graduated from Watauga High School. She earned a law degree from Wake Forest University and a master's degree in public health from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She also completed a postdoctoral fellowship in health services research at the University of North Carolina in Charlotte. She is a frequent lecturer and presenter on legal and health care issues. She is also a co-author of a number of journal articles evaluating the health care experiences of low-income patients, including those enrolled in Medicaid. "My involvement with UNOS is an intensely personal one," she says. "Nearly 20 years, after donating a kidney to my sister, Judy Jones Tisdale, I vividly recall the complex, and often conﬂicting, array of

emotions that accompanied my family's journey through transplantation." She will never forget the outstanding health care team that guided her family safely through its ﬁrst serious encounter with the health care system. "My service to UNOS is a way to give back to those dedicated men and women, while representing and serving as a voice for the diverse community of patients, donors and their families," she says. "I am honored and humbled to be the ﬁrst patient elected to the vice president/president-elect position. I hope my involvement will make a positive difference for other patients, both recipients and donors." Betsy's service to the UNOS board followed that of her sister, Judy, who also represented other UNOS committees. "Judy is also actively involved in volunteer efforts to increase organ donation on the UNC Chapel Hill campus, where she is on the faculty," Betsy says. For more information about the organization, visit www.unos.org.

My service to UNOS is a way to give back to those dedicated men and women, while representing and serving as a voice for the diverse community of patients, donors and their families.'

56754 tanner

New Summer Arrivals! Bring in this ad to receive

$25 Off Entire Purchase One coupon per customer, per visit. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offer or on merchandise discounted more than 70% off original price. Valid through May 31, 2014.

Tanner-Doncaster Outlet

Across from the Chetola Resort 537 North Main Street • Blowing Rock 828.295.4200 • Mon-Sat 10 - 6 & Sun 1 - 5 Missy, Petite & Plus Sizes Available

- Betsy Walsh

LivingWell

the frenzy cure

Have you ever felt anxious, antsy, angry and depressed all at the same time? You might be experiencing an emotional frenzy. They are quite common. A frenzy is a reaction to threats in your environment. It is triggered when the amygdala, the emotional center in your brain, becomes overwhelmed by negative emotions. The amygdala is like an alarm in your head. When it sounds, it gets all your attention. You can’t focus or effectively solve problems. It chokes out your ability to make decisions. Here are a few examples of frenzy-triggers. • You are put on the spot at conference. You are asked to take the microphone and say something intelligent. The anxiety of being in front of the crowd feels threatening and your amygdala sounds the alarm.. You can’t think straight. You choke. You sit down and replay what you should have said and how foolish you looked. You are having trouble paying attention to the rest of the conference.. Your day is shot. • The boss criticized you in front of your fellow employees. You are upset and begin to ruminate over the offense. You can’t function at your work.. Your productivity is throttled. The day is shot. • Your spouse said something that upset you as he is walking out the door to work. You are home with three kids that need attention and you feel a million miles away, preoccupied with the offense. The day is shot. Sometimes, the reason for the offense

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

needs to be addressed in conversation with the offending party at a future date, but for the time being, the emotion needs to be controlled so you can ‘get on with your day. Fortunately, a negative thought process can be interrupted and stopped. You do not have to be derailed for hours at a time. Here is a simple process that can help cure your frenzy. Acknowledge the reality of the emotion. Wow, I really choked up there on stage and now I am feeling humiliated.

I am really annoyed with my boss or my husband. He should not have said those things. Take a deep breath. Breathing neutralized the hormones of stress that are wiring you to worry and obsess. Breathing calms the amygdala and stills the alarm. Reframe the conversation in your head. Putting things in perspective helps you to put the brakes on your frenzied ruminations. “Well, I know I am my worst critic. I am sure the audience felt some

2 3

Insuring your life helps protect their future. It can also provide for today. I’ll show you how a life insurance policy with living benefits can help your family with both long-term and short-term needs. We put the life back in life insurance.TM CALL ME TODAY.

Andrea McDonough, Agent 450 New Market Blvd. Boone, NC 28607 Bus: 828-264-2744 andrea.mcdonough.gsbs@statefarm.com

State Farm Life Insurance Company (Not licensed in MA, NY or WI) State Farm Life and Accident Assurance Company (Licensed in NY and WI) Bloomington, IL 1311023

empathy as no one Intentionlikes to be put on the ally refoTake a deep spot.” Or “Everyone cus your breath. has been criticized mind on by our boss at one the task at hand. ReBreathing time or another., It member, your thought neutralized is her problem, not process can be conmine.” Or “Hubby has trolled and redirected. the hormones been under a lot of If you have trouble getof stress that pressure at work. That ting back on track, then doesn’t excuse his repeat the process. You are wiring unkind remarks, but it will ﬁnd that the emoyou to worry does explain them.” tions diminish sooner Take a or later. and obsess. Deal with break If Breathing calls the issue. you can, When the leave the the amygdala time is environment for a and still the right and your emofew minutes. Go for tions are under control, a walk, climb stairs. alarm. deal with the issue at If you can’t leave roll hand. your shoulders and sit up straight. Close your eyes and take three deep, mindful breaths. Think about bonnie church something that brings a smile to your Certiﬁed Life and Wellness Coach face.

A trusted name when you need that helping hand

Author, columist, motivational speaker and certiﬁed trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

828.963.8233 APPALACHIANHOMECARE.COM APPALACHIANHOME ARE.COM MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

TIPS

Stuﬀ a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. Use a meat baster to “squeeze” your pancake batter onto the hot griddle for perfectly shaped pancakes To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. To prevent eggshells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before boiling. Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan. The marshmallow won’t stick to your fingers. To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

To Make Life A Breeze To easily remove burned-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover the bottom of pan; bring to a boil on stovetop. You will find skillet to be much easier to clean. Spray your Tupperware or other plastic containers with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces — no more stains. When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pans, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead — no white mess on the outside of the cake. If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato — it absorbs the excess salt for an instant “fix me up.” Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator — it will keep for weeks.

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

LIKE SIMPLE? Brush beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it. When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn’s natural sweetness. To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh; if it rises to the surface, throw it away. Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing should go away. If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. Potatoes will take food stains oﬀ your fingers — slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water. To get rid of the itch from a mosquito bite, try applying soap on the area for instant relief.

Try these tips to make every day tasks around the house a little easier. Ants, ants, ants everywhere – it’s been said they will never cross a chalk line, so get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march and see for yourself. When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before pulling out the tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter then pull it oﬀ. The tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily. Look at what you can do with Alka-Seltzer: to clean a toilet, drop in two tablets, wait 20 minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and eﬀervescent action will have it sparkling in no time. To clean a vase or remove a stain from bottom of glass, fill with water and drop in two tablets. To unclog a drain, drop in three tablets, followed by a cup of white vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Mothers

all about

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Mother’s day

happy

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Photo by Leda Winebarger

No gift to your mother can ever equal her gift to you - life. - anonymous

MAY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

• Flexible tummy control panel smooths and slims tummy, thighs, and rear • Perfect custom ﬁt with Shape Recovery Technology

(336) 846-9551 205B Long St. Shamrock Square Jefferson, NC 28640

Monday-Friday 9:30 a.m. - 6 p.m. Saturday 9:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Closed on Sunday

www.libbyslook.com

Spring 2014 Look and Feel 10 lbs. Thinner