What's On | June 2011 by Motivate Media Group

e h t e los Dubai Edition

June 2011 Issue 398

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e n o st UAE DHS 10 OMAN RO 1.000

21 DUBAI WORKOUTS TESTED ALSO INSIDE: The future of UAE comedy; lunch in a hurry; top pub quizzes; coffee to go

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“It seems like it’s the most futuristic place on the planet” Moby heads to the UAE – win a meet and greet!

WIN! WIN! WIN! Dhs50,000 worth of prizes, including mini-breaks, a Jeep, jewellery and more!

5/29/11 6/12/11 5:52:45 1:23:02 PM

WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN

THE STARS COME OUT

TO PLAY

LOUNGE � DRINKS | DJ

13 Los 21 r to h extr app trai mix Plu dish del mo

25 Fun Me com join Ali Licc Com vete Won Niti

Live DJ, sensational drinks and spectacular views at The Lounge. Join the in crowd at At.mosphere, Dubai’s highest social hotspot. Open 12pm to 2am, no reservations required.

GETTY

THIS IS WHERE IT’S AT.

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Contents Features 13 Lose the Dubai stone 21 regimes guaranteed to help you ditch those extra kgs – from fitness apps and personal trainers, to ballet and mixed martial arts. Plus Dubai’s deadliest dishes, health food delivery services and more 25 Funny people Meet the up and coming comedians joining Dubomedy’s Ali Al Sayed and Mina Liccione on the Rotana Comedy Tour, plus veteran funnymen Wonho Chung and Nitin Mirani

31 The take away test Which one of the nine takeaway cappuccinos we tested is for you?

p25

33 Pub quizzes Eleven (it’s one better than ten) brain teasing evenings to test your general knowledge, ear for a tune and… model making skills 36 Moby The megastar producer talks about his new album and why it’s all go ahead of his first gig in the Middle East

GETTY

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The round up 8 Salaam Your handy intro to June, including what’s hot and what’s not, Geordiebird visits West Beach Bistro & Sports Lounge, a biker’s guide to the UAE, plus lots of entertaining stats, facts and figures 41 Win, win, win We celebrate our 32nd birthday by offering you the chance to win Dhs50,000 worth of prizes, including multiple mini breaks, a cooking masterclass and a Jeep for the weekend 48 Film All the latest release, including British alien flick Attack The Block, JJ ‘Lost’ Abraham’s Super 8, Jim Carrey vehicle Mr Popper’s Penguins, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, Cars 2 and Prom 51 Eating out Our verdict on the city’s newest restaurants, where to go for lunch, a new sustainable restaurant in Abu Dhabi, Dubai’s first local fruit and veg delivery service, the UAE’s first sturgeon farm and much more

65 Arts Kids’ Theatre Works, Egyptian artist Susan Hefuna at The Third Line, The Art Insider’s monthly missive, Syrian snapper Jaber Al Azmeh and our pick of the exhibitions

Band Of The Month shoot in Satwa, plus a round-up of the best live shows in town

73 Shopping What to buy your daddy on Father's Day, this month’s new openings, our fabulous fashionista Sophia solves your sartorial woes and The Bookworm with the latest worthy tomes

99 Travel Our run-down of the finest international music fests, a trip to Georgia, best-selling crime writer Peter James reveals his travel tips, and the best of this month’s local and international travel deals

81 Mind & body The best Egyptian and Moroccan treatments, his ‘n’ hers visits The Fairmont, we wax lyrical about a pair of wax treatments, plus this month’s spa deals 89 Sport & outdoor Features writer Matt goes all Blazing Saddles as he learns to ride a horse at Al Ahli Riding Club and Mr Fitness soothes your health concerns, plus our pick of the month’s sports events

p94

96 Club diary All the important dates for your clubbing calendar

113 Hot list We stir up a debate with our monthly top ten bars, spas, restaurants and brunches 130 Backchat Catboy delves in to the murky world of dieting

p51

94 Music Groovecore rockers Sandwash pose for our

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This month we’ve been... Editor-in-Chief Obaid Humaid Al Tayer Group Editor & Managing Partner lan Fairservice Group Senior Editor Gina Johnson | gina@motivate.ae Senior Editor Mark Evans | marke@motivate.ae Deputy Editor Helen Spearman | helen@motivate.ae Features & Food Editor Gareth Rees | gareth@motivate.ae Features Editor Abu Dhabi Adam Workman | adam@motivate.ae Staff Writer Matt Priest | matthew@motivate.ae Chief Sub Editor Iain Smith | iains@motivate.ae Senior Designer Sheila Cariño-Deocareza | sheila@motivate.ae Editorial Co-ordinator Concessaa D’souza | concessa@motivate.ae Editorial Assistant/Picture Researcher Jing Flores | londresa@motivate.ae Mabel Alphonso | mabel@motivate.ae Picture Researcher – Gulfpics Wayne Fernandez | wayne@motivate.ae Contributors Naveed Ahmed, Victor Besa, James Brennan, Louise Browne, Stef Burgon, Vikram Gawde, James Houghton, Catherine Jarvie, Charles Pocock, Mark Powell, Farooq Salik, Simon Smedley, Sophia Serin, Paul Sterry General Manager Production and Circulation S Sasidharan | sasidharan@motivate.ae Senior Production Manager Sunil Kumar | sunil@motivate.ae Production Manager Sudhakar Chandran | sudhakar@motivate.ae Production Supervisor Murali Krishnan | muralik@motivate.ae General Manager – Group Sales Anthony Milne | anthony@motivate.ae Group Advertisement Manager Dale Isaac | dale@motivate.ae Advertisement Manager Varsha Bhatia | varsha@motivate.ae General Manager, Abu Dhabi Joe Marrit | joe@motivate.ae Advertisement Manager, Abu Dhabi Darryl Wiley | darryl@motivate.ae Annual Subscription GCC Dhs120 other countries US$70 (including Airmail charges)

Head Office: PO Box 2331, Dubai, UAE Tel: +971 4 282 4060, Fax: +971 4 282 4436, E-mail: motivate@motivate.ae Dubai Media City: Office 508, 5th Floor, Building 8, Dubai, UAE, Tel: +971 4 390 3550, Fax: +971 4 390 4845 Abu Dhabi: PO Box 43072, UAE, Tel: +971 2 677 2005, Fax: +971 2 677 0124, E-mail: editor-wo@motivate.ae

Clowning about with UAE comedians, p25

Hitting the gym, p13

Earning our spurs, p91

Editor’s note “OK, so I want you to jog along that path ‘till you hit the bridge over there – that’s roughly 1.5km – and that should warm us up nicely. Then, you’ll run up that flight of stairs, turn around, run back down and then I want 20 press-ups. Then it’s back up the stairs again, back down and another 20. And after that, we’ll do a series of short, sharp sprints back.” I looked Sharon in the eye. She wasn’t laughing. In fact, she was the exact opposite of laughing. She was deadly serious. “Er, has anyone ever, like, died doing this?”, I asked, and, I felt, not without good reason. Now the laughter. “Ha, no, I’ve never had anyone die on me, yet.” Yet? Sharon, the Sharon-aintor, Sharonos The Jackal and a few other slightly less flattering names I had for her, was my personal trainer; the person entrusted to take my couch-loving backside and make it shift in an altogether sportier manner, in the name of this month’s big fitness feature (p13). And our pain is your gain – along with my personal trauma, sorry, ‘training’, we’ve also endured mixed martial arts, Pilates, caveman keep fit (no, really), not to mention the odd spot of ball room dancing, so you can discover your tried and tested four weeks to fitness. Now all you have to do is pick which one you think is best for you, and give it a whirl. If, however, that fitness lark isn’t for you, then delve into our usual mix of monthly goodies, perfect for fun weekend, especially if you don’t have a crazy training lady demanding you drop and give her 20. Enjoy the issue.

London: Acre House, 11/15 William Road, London NW1 3ER, UK, E-mail: motivateuk@motivate.ae

Printed by Emirates Printing Press, Dubai

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We're officially part of the Twitterati. Follow us at WhatsOnDubai for exclusive updates on nightlife, restaurants and more around the UAE. Tweet yourself.

Salaam! June in one manageable mouthful

What’s hot BLACK APPS BlackBerry users, rejoice. BlackBerry App World is now available in the UAE.

Guess list Who are going to be the UAE's next celeb guests?

10%

NOL ONLINE Beat the queues – you can now top up your RTA Nol card online. www.nol.ae REEL GOOD NEWS Reel Cinemas is offering a Friends of Reel Privileges scheme, giving its members discounts on tickets and food and beverages. www.facebook.com/reelcinemas

What’s not PRICE HIKE Travel agents are warning that airfares from the UAE are expected to rise 15 to 20 per cent this summer. BUSY BUSES The stat-conscious people at the RTA have informed us that public buses are now four times as busy as they were just two years ago. Sounds like we're going to need a bigger bus... THE POLLS ARE IN Results from a recent poll claim that 82 per cent of workers in the region would consider a change in career. We hope you’re in the happy 18 per cent.

THE SCRIPT An informed insider in the capital told us to expect to see Irish popsters The Script after the summer.

DR DRE Last month’s Snoop Dogg gig surpassed expectations, and we hear his old schoolmate Andre MD will be the next rap star to hit the UAE.

We told you so...

30%

60%

LADY GAGA Rumours are circulating that the new queen of pop will soon be playing on our shores. But you just never know with Gaga, and we just can't read her, ahem, poker face.

Moby

Turns out we do know a thing or two – the bespectacled superstar DJ is leaving his beloved NYC to play Dubai World Trade Centre this month. June 4, Dubai World Trade Centre, Dhs200 to Dhs350. Tel: (04) 3913460

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This month we’re going to… THE DUBAI INTERNATIONAL DANCE FESTIVAL The Dubai International Dance Festival is in its fourth year and continues to attract some of the finest dance academies, youth orchestras and musical ensembles from around the world. Expect three days of cultural performances, workshops, guest DJs and competitions. Let's dance. Jun 1 to 4, various locations, from Dhs50. www.dubaidancefestival.com

SUS Our in th cutle plast to ra beha in th live c Jun 2 www

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GIRL ABOUT TOWN

LOCAL KNOWLEDGE Mohammad Mattar Al Mazrooei from UAE biker club Desert Warriors Service

Clothes

Custom Bikes workshop is one of the best places for servicing your hog. The mechanics know what they are talking about. Custom Bikes, behind Harley-Davidson on Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3385999. www. custombikesdubai.com

The Harley-Davidson shop is great for getting your leather jackets and boots. Harley-Davidson Boutique, The Dubai Mall, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3399497. www. harley-davidson.ae

Helmet The Aprilia store offers a sweet selection of Italian Brand NEXX helmets. Duseja General Trading Co, Umm Suqeim Road, Al Barsha, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3476712. www.apriliame. com

Hangout We loved the Lenôtre restaurant on Jumeirah Beach Road, but sadly it closed now. Now it’s the Haagen-Dazs in Palm Strip Mall, and the Bikers' Café. Haagen-Dazs, Palmstrip Shopping Mall, Jumeirah Beach Road, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3456100

t n n

ga, n't m, Food The newly opened Bikers' Café does great chicken quesadillas, and a slice of their honey cake doesn’t go amiss! Bikers' Café, Jumeirah Beach Road, Dubai. www. bikerscafeblog.com

Rides Music It depends on the type of bike. When I’m on my Harley Night Rod, the sound of the bike is my music. But when riding my Harley Street Glide, it’s Cuban and Arabic music.

One of our favourite rides is from Dubai to Hatta, Khalba, Fujairah, and back. It’s around 450km of nice roads, through some mountains. It’s really beautiful.

…

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SUSTAINABLE LIVING EXPO Our eco-conscience is often enflamed here in the UAE, cringing every time our plastic cutlery is presented wrapped in yet more plastic. The Sustainable Living Expo looks to raise awareness of eco-wise consumer behaviour and promote eco-friendly living in the UAE. Heavy stuff. But there will also be live cooking and fashion shows. Jun 22 to 24, The Dubai Mall, Dubai, free. www.dubai.epicexpo.com

DUBAI SUMMER SURPRISES It can be hard work thinking of ways to entertain the kids during the summer holidays. Enter Dubai Summer Surprises. The six-week festival is heavily family orientated, and not only puts on events that are fun and educational, but also boasts sales at more than 50 different shopping malls all over town. Fill your boots. Jun 22 to Jul 31, various locations, Dubai, free. www.dubaievents.ae

Dubai 92’s Geordie Bird gives us the heads up from the UAE bar scene

THIS MONTH: WEST BEACH BISTRO & SPORTS LOUNGE

What does it look like? Like a girl didn't get a single say when it came to the décor, which is no bad thing in a sports bar. I loved the huge curved projector with the beanbags, but they didn't seem to take my idea for a Sex And The City night too seriously. Who goes there? Boys, boys and more boys. It does for the girls of Dubai what ladies nights do for the fellas. Any bar nibbles? The bar snacks are tasty, and they have all the usual suspects – onion rings, calamari and jumbo prawns, plus giant ribs and fish ‘n’ chips if you need a proper feed. Oh yes, and the world’s smallest, but tastiest, tomato soup. Drink recommendations? It’s all about beer. Grrr. It's got to be the Tiger. When should you go? When there’s a game on. It's the kind of place I would have loved to watch the World Cup. Grand Prix would be pretty good on that screen, too. Dress code? What's everyone wearing? I'm not sure sports bars have dress codes. If they do then I think it's khaki shorts, T-shirt and sandals. How's the service? Table service is always nice when the usual ten minutes at the bar could mean you miss that crucial pass, goal or sending off. What's the taxi situation? The choice is which cab do I grab. Easy. GEORDIEBIRD VERDICT: Perfect for one of those nights where you just want to stick a pair of jeans on and go have a game of pool and some onion rings. Mövenpick Hotel Jumeirah Beach, The Walk, JBR, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4498888. www. moevenpick-hotels.com Find us at www.facebook.com/WhatsOnDubai

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SALAAM

FILM CORNER

IN THE NEWS Footy legend Diego Maradona joins Al Wasl FC

BAD

GOOD 1976 At the age of 15, Diego Armando Maradona makes his professional debut in his native Argentina. 1984 Maradona’s €12 million (Dhs62.6 million) transfer from Barcelona to Napoli breaks the world transfer fee record. 1986 Almost single-handedly wins the World Cup, playing every minute of every game, scoring five goals and making five others.

1986 In the World Cup semifinal against England he famously scores with his hand, claiming it was the ‘hand of God’.

1987 Captains Napoli to their first Italian league title. The team goes on to complete the double by winning the Italian Cup. 1991 After losing the World Cup final, Maradona tests positive for cocaine and is banned for 15 months. 1994 Sent home from the 1994 World Cup in the USA after testing positive for ephedrine. 2000 Is jointly named FIFA’s Player Of The Century, alongside Pele, winning the Internet poll with 53.6 per cent of the vote.

2011 Appointed as the new manager of the UAE’s Al Wasl Football Club.

2004 Suffers a series of health problems caused by years of cocaine and alcohol abuse. He becomes massively bloated, peaking at 127kg, and suffers a major heart attack. 2010 Leads Argentina to the World Cup Quarter Finals

As we said in the last issue, we are total suckers for classic cinema. That’s why the screenings by the Dubai Confidential Film Club are rapidly becoming our favourite nights out in the city. Building on the success of their debut event last month, the club is back – this time digging through its secret warehouse of film reels to bring us the 1961 classic Breakfast At Tiffany’s.

The story of a struggling writer who moves to the big city and falls in love with a beautiful socialite. Ninety minutes or so gazing at the indubitably talented Audrey Hepburn is worth the ticket price alone. June 29, Zabeel Saray Hotel, Palm Jumeirah, Dubai. 7pm, Dhs200 with soft drinks of Dhs250 with house beverages. Tel: (055) 5537686

IN THE NEWS Prepare to launch The final frontier? Pah. A mere trifle for the country that built the Burj and introduced Modhesh to the world. Yep, the UAE government recently announced it's set to launch its second satellite. Yahsat2 (Y1B) will join its buddy Yahsat1 (Y1A), which launched in April. We crunch the numbers, and they are, er, astronomical…

The number of satellites launched by the UAE this year

number of people who have walked on the moon

The number of satellites the UAE will have in space by 2012

the speed in km/sec that Y1B will orbit (the same speed as the earth’s rotation)

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LOSE THE DUBAI

STONE OK, you’ve had the good times, the brunches, the takeaways, the drinks… Here’s where the party stops, and the training starts – time to rid yourself of those extra pounds, and say hello to a new, better you. We sent out an army to test out these Dubai regimes for a month. Here are the results

One on one Strength Cardio Outdoor Fun At home Diet

The apps method LOST 2KG OF FAT

REGIME: Tester and tech-fan Tom trained with the latest apps

The apps we used ADIDAS MICOACH (IPHONE, BLACKBERRY), FREE

FACILITIES: A smartphone packed with some top-notch exercise apps, including Adidas MiCoach, RunKeeper Free and FitDeck Mobile. Tom, trained at The Address Dubai Marina. PRICE: The apps used were either free or cost no more than Dhs25. TELL US ABOUT IT: There are thousands of fitness apps online, but Tom opted for those that would supplement gym training and track progress. First up, MiCoach, an app from Adidas that gives you custom workouts for individual sports or activities. Used during running, it provides a set of interval workouts, narrated by none other than Johnnie Wilkinson, that gets the heart rate up to fat-burning levels (there’s a 12-minute initiation test, so it knew how hard it to push Tom). Then came RunKeeper Free, which we used to track Tom’s runs around the Marina, and FitDeck, an app packed with no-gymrequired bodyweight exercises developed by a former Navy SEAL. ANY PRE-REQUISITES: You’ll need an iPhone, BlackBerry or Android mobile. WAS IT A SUCCESS? The apps were much easier to use than we first thought and did a good job of tracking Tom’s progress. We checked his running stats on the Adidas MiCoach website, which shows a breakdown of how far he’d run, at what pace and how many calories he lost. RunKeeper worked well, but as he knew where he was going its mapping abilities weren’t needed. The real star was FitDeck, however, which let Tom target specific body regions and firm up those moobs. In total, Tom lost 2kg and two per cent body fat.

This app gives you a pocket-sized personal trainer to track your distance, pace and calories burned using the phone’s GPS. Useful, but the app comes into its own when you twin it with the miCoach website for stat syncing and a detailed training calendar.

RUNKEEPER FREE (IPHONE), FREE

Easy to set up and with a handy website for comparing stats, runKeeper plots your route in real time on a map and lets you lsiten to iTunes music while you run. Add activities like treadmill work to build a complete training picture.

FITDECK MOBILE (ANDROID, BLACKBERRY, WINDOWS MOBILE), DHS25

Created by former Navy SEAL Phil Black, FitDeck equips you with 50 body-weight exercises to get you toned up in no time. The most equipment you’ll need for them is a chair. Best of all, you can target specific body regions to ditch the love handles.

NIKE+ GPS (IPHONE), DHS10

Unlike most running apps, Nike+ GPS also uses the iPhone’s accelerometer to track your jogs. Handily, this means that it can be used indoors or out. There’s GPS plotting and stat syncing, along with cooler stuff like automated challenges based on performance.

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LOSE THE DUBAI STONE

Don’t eat that, eat this... We’ve all been tempted by the Colonel’s wily ways, but what dishes will do the least damage? Nutritionist Stephanie Karl shares the best choices you can make at your favourite fast-food hangouts

McDonald’s

Go for the McArabia (566kcal) or Caesar salad (220kcal) and have the dressing on the side so you can control the amount. McDonald’s actually has good quality orange juice, so go for that over fizzy drinks, and skip the Oreo McFlurry (550kcal) in favour of apple slices. It might be known for being unhealthy, but this chain is definitely taking steps to change that.

Pizza Hut

Do not go for stuffed crust – one slice of a large pepperoni delivers a whopping 380kcal. Instead, go for a thin crust with loads of vegetables, like the Veggie Lover’s, which comes in at 180kcal per slice. If you’re being extra good, then limit yourself to two slices and load up on salad.

Subway

Subway is actually a great choice as there are so many healthy combinations and you can control the sauces. Even better are the salads. They clearly mark which sandwiches contain less than six per cent fat, but my pick is the turkey breast on wheat bread (220kcal), with loads of salad and light mayo if you need it. Stay away from the meal deals – cookies and crisps add nothing but calories to your meal.

KFC

Avoid the buckets and coleslaw and KFC actually isn’t a bad choice. The Mega Arabia sandwich (146kcal) is a welcome addition to the menu, and is a reasonable portion size. A word of warning: you might think that by ditching the bread you’re being healthy, but a crispy chicken breast contains a shocking 420kcal, so that bucket will soon add up. For sides, ignore the fries (260kcal) and go for steamed sweetcorn for 150kcal.

Gourmet Burger Kitchen

Calling something ‘gourmet’ doesn’t make it healthy; one cheeseburger from GBK contains an artery-clogging 805 calories. As it happens, the falafel in pita bread with raita is delicious and is a third of the calories at 283kcal. Stephanie Karl, Dubai London Clinic, Festival City, Dubai. Tel: (04) 2325751

The go-it-alone method LOST 4KG OF FAT

REGIME: Following a set programme under his own steam, our tester, Gareth, met with fitness consultant Chris Miller who created a diet and exercise programme, and then left him to his own devices, and willpower

on mobility. This programme is suited to your fitness level, so while that sounds like a lot, it all depends on the individual’s timetable, goals and commitment. Gareth was also advised to increase protein, fruit and vegetables, and to have a protein shake after weight sessions. ANY PRE-REQUISITES? Gareth has FACILITIES: Chris comes to your own a good level of fitness, and knew what he gym, so you’ll need the basic equipment, such wanted to achieve, but Chris’ method is a free weights and cardio machines, plus an also useful for gym novices who don’t know area for stretching. their way around the gym. You do need to PRICE: Dhs1,000 per programme, including be motivated, however, as Chris won’t be body composition analysis, two personal there to bark orders at you. training sessions, a four-week workout WAS IT A SUCCESS? Gareth stuck to regime and nutritional advice. the prescribed diet and exercise schedule, TELL US ABOUT IT: Chris devised a and lost over 4kg of fat, as well as managing schedule based on Gareth’s aims, which a personal best time in a 10km run. Not included three weight-training sessions a week, bad in four weeks. one interval session, and one long run. There Chris Miller, Fitness & Well-being Consultant, were two different weight routines, so it didn’t The Energy Clinic, Dubai. Tel: (050) 4762704. get repetitive, plus a warm-up that focussed E-mail: chris.theenergyclinic@gmail.com

The personal trainer method LOST 4KG OF FAT

REGIME: Tester Mark tried one-onone training, three times a week FACILITIES: Personal coaching and instruction from a qualified trainer in your home gym, plus some outdoor training PRICE: From Dhs2,000 per month TELL US ABOUT IT: Sharon James is a fitness trainer for Element, an independent fitness company. Sharon’s job, quite simply, is to tailor individual fitness programmes for clients, and then to help them reach their goals. Goals can vary wildly, from the obvious ‘I’d like to lose weight’, to more specific aims, such as wanting to work on a certain area of the body. Like all training, results depend on the effort put in, and, just as importantly, diet – it doesn’t matter how hard you train, if you eat badly, you’re destined to struggle. Coming under the watchful eye of Sharon was our tester Mark, whose goal was simply to raise his level

of fitness (or, in his words, ‘be able to run for a bus, should I ever actually decide to catch one any day soon’). Sharon devised a series of exercises, including boxing, running and weight lifting, to shape him up and raise his overall fitness levels. Every session was different – meaning that there was no chance of Mark becoming bored with the routine – while her constant encouragement made it easier for him to push through the pain barrier. ANY PRE-REQUISITES: Access to a gym helps, but Sharon has her own boxing gear, as well as making use of outdoor spaces WAS IT A SUCCESS? Mark will be the first to admit, when it comes to training, his biggest problem is motivation. However, the regular booked in advance with Sharon there to drive him on made a huge difference. Sharon James, Element Fitness, Dubai. Tel: (050) 2771317. E-mail: sharon.james@ element-fitness.net

THE PLANK The plank targets the abs, hips and back. Lie face down, with your forearms under you, prop yourself up on your toes, maintain a flat back and hold. Work up to three minutes.

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LOSE THE DUBAI STONE

The flexible The pilates fitness method class method LOST 2KG OF FAT

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THE REGIME: Tester Iain tried a month of training with The Regime, which offers circuit training over three-hour time slots on weekdays, during which you can turn up whenever it suits.

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AIR BIKE The air bike works the abs and obliques. Assume the sit-up position, support your head, and bring each elbow to the opposite knee.

The MMA method

LOST 5KG OF FAT

REGIME: Guinea pig Nick battled with thrice weekly mixed martial arts sessions at Contender MMA training centre FACILITIES: The gym is kitted out with all manner of equipment, and offers classes in Muy Thai boxing, Juijitsu, MMA and more. PRICE: Dhs50 per class, or Dhs500 for a month of unlimited MMA sessions. TELL US ABOUT IT: Our tester, Nick, is known for his late night lifestyle and wanted a quick way of getting back into fitness. MMA is a full contact combat sport that incorporates strength; cardio and agility to ensure you don’t get a good kicking. Nick went to three hour-long classes each week (6pm on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays) and was put through his paces with grips, combinations and strength exercises to get his heart pumping and muscles burning. ANY PRE-REQUISITES? The trainers at Contender are encouraging, but the sheer level of hard work might put off weaklings – this is one for people who want to take their fitness up a notch. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Nick lost 4kg, which speaks for itself. Blood, sweat and – we suspect – tears, were shed along with fat. Contender MMA, Heidelberg-Giordano Building, Sheikh Zayed Road, Al Quoz, Dubai. Tel: (050) 3434334. www.contendermma.com

LOST 1KG OF FAT

REGIME: Emily, our Pilates pioneer, attended three hour-long Pilates mat classes per week for a month

FACILITIES: Zen Yoga, which has branches across Dubai. Emily, our Pilates FACILITIES: The Regime takes over a grassy guinea pig, trained at the Media City space next to the Dubai Marina Yacht Club, location, which has two studios, changing moving indoors when the weather heats up. facilities and all the equipment you’ll need. All the equipment is by Reebok, there’s valet PRICE: Dhs75 per class, or you can buy a parking, water and breakfast provided, too. beginner’s package of 11 sessions for Dhs575, PRICE: Dhs50 per class, or Dhs450 for a which is valid for two months. block of 12 sessions. TELL US ABOUT IT: As a newbie to TELL US ABOUT IT: On Sunday mornings the Pilates mat, Emily struggled at first The Regime recruits head to JBR beach for a with the breathing and postures, but boot camp (starting at either 6am or 6.45am), practice makes (almost) perfect, as does while Tuesday and Thursdays from 6am to the help of instructor Sarah, who was on 9am, and Mondays and Wednesdays from hand to correct, coach and coax her onto 5.30pm to 8pm you can turn up and take the right track. After a couple of tricky part in circuits. Instructors Daniel and Adam sessions, Emily quickly picked up the know what it takes to turn you from rough to techniques, and moved up to level one, buff (namely, sweat), so Iain was put through which introduces more difficult moves and his paces during three laps of a circuit of equipment, like the dreaded Swiss ball. ten exercises at one minute each, with short ANY PRE-REQUISITES? None at all. breaks in between. He was subjected to Pilates is great for people who want to get boxing, the plank, sit-ups, skipping, weights, back into fitness, or are taking the first kettle bells and, everyone’s favourite, burpees. steps into weight-loss and toning. Variants ANY PRE-REQUISITES? Nope – anyone on the basic postures are available, so can join in, but if you’re looking to push yourself you can go for a more cardio-based class then some degree of fitness is recommended. once you’ve mastered the breathing and Iain struggled with the first session (despite beginner’s sessions. being a regular runner) but found the range WAS IT A SUCCESS? As well as really of exercises – and the fact you change it up enjoying the classes, Emily found that regularly – meant no muscle group in particular her muscles, especially abs, were tighter was left screaming for mercy. post-class, with new definition to arms in WAS IT A SUCCESS? Iain felt fitter after particular. Most Pilates devotees notice that only a month, lost body fat and gained muscle. posture, even between classes, benefits, with What a result. relaxation levels and sleep patterns also Regime Fitness, Dubai Marina improving. Yacht Club, Dubai Marina, Zen Yoga, BBC Building 10, Dubai Media WIN! A MONTH OF TRAI Dubai. Tel: (056) 7627064. City, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3670435. NING Like the sound www.regime.ae www.yoga.ae We have 12 ses of The Regime? sions, plus an hour of personal training , e-mail winwith to give away. To enter whatson@mot ivate.ae with ‘regime’ in the subject answer to this qu line, and the est ion . Which super-fi t celebrity is kn own as The Body? a) Rosanne Ba rr b) Elle Macphe rson c) Pee-Wee He rman

BURPEES A total body exercise, start by standing, squat down, kick back to a press up position, return to a squat and jump into the air.

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LOSE THE DUBAI STONE

The boxing method

The TRX method LOST 8.4% BODY FAT

GAINED 2KG OF MUSCLE

THE REGIME: Our tester, Alicia, attended three 90-minute classes a week at KO Gym, combining fast-paced cardio and fighting techniques FACILITIES: KO Gym is a well equipped, no frills space, with punch bags, non-slip mats and a ring. Classes take place during the week at 6.30pm and 8pm, and 5pm on Saturdays. PRICE: Dhs60 per class, or Dhs500 per month for unlimited sessions. TELL US ABOUT IT: The first half hour is devoted to warming up, which isn’t as gentle as it sounds, depending on trainer Zack’s mood. It is normally akin to military training, with jogging, push-ups, sit-ups, star jumps, jumping lunges and burpees. The final hour is the fun bit – boxing. You pair up and Zack demonstrates combinations of upper cuts, hooks, jabs and blocks. He sometimes throws in some burpees for fun, too. Then you’ll probably do a minute or so of the plank to finish. Crikey. There’s good chat throughout, and the gym has a band of faithful attendees who train with an almost cultish regularity. ANY PRE-REQUISITES? Not for the fainthearted (literally), you’ll need a good level of fitness to get through the 90 minutes. Girls shouldn’t be put off by this testosterone-soaked sport – plenty of women attend classes. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Alicia’s stamina and fitness came on leaps and bounds, with each class a little easier than the last. She has gained two kilos of muscles. KO Gym, Al Maya Building, Dubai Marina, Dubai. Tel: (050) 2861673

JUMP LUNGES To tone legs, jump off the ground landing with one foot under you and the other in front, with knees at 90 degrees. Jump up and swap legs.

THE REGIME: Tester Jan sweated it out for three hours a week training using TRX

The caveman method

GAINED 1KG OF MUSCLE

THE REGIME: Training with a difference, tester Karen went wild with Caveman Fitness, which incorporates ‘caveman’ style techniques into either one-on-one sessions, or its Tribe group sessions, when people exercise together as a team FACILITIES: You decide on a location, be it a beach, park or gym. Karen trained with Mike Baron (who has six years of fitness expertise and has four years’ boxing experience) at the gym in her apartment building. PRICE: Personal training costs Dhs3,000 for 11 sessions, and Tribe classes depend on group size. TELL US ABOUT IT: You train like a caveman (hunting, gathering, fighting and survival) using tyres, sandbags, kayaks, TRX and more. If you’re training as part of a Tribe – which is popular with colleagues and sports teams – the team works together to achieve goals, in preparation for Tribe versus Tribe competitions where you are pitted against another team. For personal training, traditional methods are eschewed in favour of techniques that made the time fly. Karen met Mike twice a week for an hour each time, and particularly enjoyed fighting off ‘woolly mammoths’ (boxing). ANY PRE-REQUISITES? If working as part of Tribe, the members can have all levels of fitness, as the team helps each other out. Personal training sessions are tailored to your aims. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Karen is already fit, but still couldn’t walk for two days after her first session. These guys work you hard, but she claimed to love every minute of it, is more toned and has more energy. Caveman Fitness. Tel: (056) 7991208. www.cavemanfitness.net.

FACILITIES: The Fitness Beat studio in Tecom is fully equipped with TRX gear, which attaches to walls, ceilings, trees and more, then uses your own body weight as resistance. There are regular evening classes at the studio and outdoor sessions on Mondays and Wednesdays in Umm Suqeim Park, which add a bit more sweat to the proceedings. PRICE: Dhs60 per class TELL US ABOUT IT: Instructor Karen is a powerhouse of muscle and motivation, who guided Jan from beginner to buff, and all classes include elements for newbies and experts. TRX is a total body workout, developed by US Navy SEALS, and incorporates hundreds of exercises to improve strength, fitness, coordination, flexibility and mobility. ANY PRE-REQUISITES? You’re in control of the resistance, so it’s suitable for all levels of fitness. You just need to bring a towel and some water – you’ll need them. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Jan lost a whopping 8.4 per cent body fat and 1.5kg in a month, so it’s safe to say that TRX is one of the most effective methods out there. Fitness Beat, Al Shaiba Towers, Tecom, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4324528. www.fitnessbeatme.com

Quick fix ULTRASOUND CAVITATION WHAT THEY SAY: This is a“non invasive and non surgical treatment that targets and obliterates fat deposits by employing cuttingedge, high resolution ultrasound therapy”. WHAT IT INVOLVES: Your ‘problem area’ is covered in gel, and then a handheld device delivers the ultrasound energy, which can get pretty hot and a bit noisy. You’re then sent off to drink plenty of water. Our tester lost an impressive 5.5cm in one session, so it undoubtedly works, if only temporarily. Of course, they recommend six to 12 sessions, but if you have to get into a dress fast – and don’t mind throwing money at the problem – then this could just get the zipper up. PRICE: Dhs2,000 per session or Dhs7,000 for a course of five. Rebecca Treston Aesthetics@Euromed Clinic, Jumeirah Beach Road, Villa 611, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3945422. www.euromedclinicdubai.com

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The ballet method LOST 1KG OF FAT

REGIME: Twinkle-toed tester Tia tried a month of intermediate ballet lessons at DUCTAC at Mall Of The Emirates FACILITIES: There are three rehearsal and dance studios, all with changing facilities, floor to ceiling mirrors and portable bars. PRICE: Dhs55 per class. TELL US ABOUT IT: Tia trained twice a week for 60 minutes per class (with sessions often going on to an epic 75 minutes). No two

classes were the same, with a diverse group of students turning up; the biggest surprise was the following instructor Sharmila has. At intermediate level there is an assumption dancers have certain skills, but you should discuss any previous experience before attending so you are in the right class. ANY PRE-REQUISITES? You must have some ballet training to understand the basic positions and terminology (which is drawn from the French) because you wouldn’t want to mix up port de bras with a pas de bourrée. Watching Black Swan isn’t enough, we’re afraid. WAS IT A SUCCESS? After a few sessions

you’ll find ballet will help align your back and neck, even when sleeping, and improves posture overall. Tia managed to lose a kilo, and Sharmila ensured she left each class confident in her new found moves, with muscles loose and tensions relieved. If you want to meet people, learn a new skill and tone up – and don’t have two left feet – then ballet could be for you. DUCTAC, Mall Of The Emirates, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3411040. www.sharmiladance.com

Battle of the green bags We put Live’ly and Right Bite food delivery programmes to the test

ADVICE

Both our tester s cle out their fridge aned s before signing up – at these prices self-sabotage wo uld be foolish – and the y also exercised three times a week

Live’ly

Right Bite

CONSULTATION

Your initial consultation involves body analysis and an in-depth chat with a dietician to establish how many calories your body needs. You then go back once a week for a body scan and weigh-in to track your progress, which takes a few minutes.

Before your first delivery you are weighed in and have a detailed chat about your health history, exercise levels and current diet, then a body scan is done. This is repeated after two weeks. Weekly weighins would have been preferable for tracking progress.

VALUE FOR MONEY

This isn’t a cheap way to lose weight. Our tester, Helen, went all out, and opted for the Gourmet package which costs Dhs3,800 a month for three meals a day, seven days a week. Cheaper packages and meal options are available.

Dhs3,300 for three meals a day for 28 days. Right Bite also offers am and pm packages, and just lunch if that’s all your need.

Excellent. Whole-wheat pancakes for breakfast, ciabatta for lunch, steak for dinner, cookies for snacks, lots of fruit – just like normal meals, but smaller. The Gourmet option provides more luxurious ingredients, so is good for foodies. It might seem too good to be true but the meals never exceed your calorie allowance. One negative though – there seemed to be a lot of white rice and pasta, so while it was low in calories, it could have been healthier.

Sharon, our tester, quickly learnt what was good – and what wasn’t so great. Meals were varied, with new additions on a regular basis, and healthy options like brown rice on offer. There was lots of choice and were plenty of ‘normal’ dishes on offer (like pizza made with low-fat cheese) so it didn’t feel like a diet.

HOW MANY DAYS A WEEK?

Seven.

Six days a week (you do your own thing on Fridays – no, not a brunch…).

RELIABILITY

They were never late. Impressive.

No lateness at all.

CONVENIENCE

During the week food was delivered to Helen’s office by 1pm, which meant she had to keep breakfast from the previous day. No mean feat when you have the mid-afternoon hunger. At weekends food was delivered to her apartment by 9.30am. You need to leave the bag out for collection every day.

Sharon’s green bag was delivered to her apartment by 5.30am ever morning. Easy. You need to leave the bag out for collection every day.

RESULTS

Helen lost 2kg in the first week, and a further 1kg over the next three weeks.

Sharon lost 3kg over the month.

CONTACT

Live’ly, Villa 925, Al Wasl Road, Umm Suqeim, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3481008. www.lively.ae

Right Bite, Dr Akel Clinic, Magrudy Building, Beach Road, Jumeirah, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3495020. www.right-bite.com

WHAT’S ON SAYS

Yes, this is an expensive approach, but there’s no supermarket shopping or dining out for the month. Both methods lose points for the sheer volume of packaging used – plastic boxes abound – so if you are going to sign up, please recycle. It was a close call between Live’ly and Right Bite, but with weekly weigh-ins and meals every day, Live’ly takes the low-calorie biscuit

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LOSE THE DUBAI STONE

The Spinning method LOST 3KG OF FAT

THE REGIME: Clarkwin, our Spinning newbie, saddled up with three sessions per week at Apollo Fitness FACILITIES: The Spinning studio has 16 Keiser stationary bikes, which were designed by a cyclist and considerably more comfortable than the two-wheelers we’ve tried in the past. PRICE: Membership starts from Dhs420 per month, which includes unlimited Spinning, plus Pilates, Body Pump, Mui Thai and Jujitsu classes. TELL US ABOUT IT: There are no complicated techniques to learn in Spinning; regardless of your fitness or flexibility level you’ll get a killer workout. Want to make it harder? Turn up the resistance. Bit knackered? Discreetly lighten the load. Instructor Joe took Clarkwin through high-intensity 45-minute sessions of uphill, sprints and more, with no coasting or stopping off at the bagel shop. Sure, your leg muscles will be screaming, sweat will fly off you (towels and water are provided) and you may get a little saddle-sore, but the encouragement, music and atmosphere will keep you going. ANY PRE-REQUISITES? You don’t even need to know how to ride a bike. The first session might be a shock, though; this is a hardcore workout if you exercise to the max. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Definitely. Clarkwin’s fitness improved, he lost weight and, most importantly, didn’t get bored. Just goes to show what the right music and instructor can do. Apollo Fitness, Ground Floor, Block 19, Knowledge Village, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4298744. www.apollofitness.ae

The at-home instructor GAINED 1KG OF MUSCLE

THE REGIME: Our tester, Dubai 92’s Geordiebird, trained four times a week with Yvette Franzos from Breathe Believe Pilates, who comes to your home FACILITIES: You’ll need an apartment with enough space for two people to exercise comfortably, and Yvette provides the equipment. PRICE: Dhs200 for a 60-minute session. Team up with a friend and you’ll pay Dhs150 each. TELL US ABOUT IT: Josef Pilates claimed that after 30 sessions of his method “you will have a whole new body”. Big claims, Joe. The key to its success is working the ‘accessory’ muscles that usually go unnoticed and under-exercised. The result is a long, lean frame, with no bulking up. Geordiebird found the at-home sessions left no room for excuses (you can’t say you’re stuck in traffic) so the regime quickly became routine. ANY PRE-REQUISITES? None, and if you don’t opt for personal sessions you don’t need to have a one-to-one before attending a class, unlike many Pilates studios in Dubai. At-home sessions are more expensive, but the private tuition means you get the most out of the time, and perfect the techniques, which means better results. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Helped by Yvette’s expertise – she has been practicing Pilates for eight years – Geordiebird’s posture was greatly improved, and although she has always been thin, there’s now muscle definition. In her words: “Gwen Stefani should watch her back”. Cripes. Breath Believe Pilates. Tel: (050) 8493239. www.breathebelievepilates.com

The Les Mills method LOST 2.5KG OF FAT

THE REGIME: Les Mills, a Kiwi athlete, developed classes that take place all over the world. Our tester, Vikram, hasn’t exercised in two years, so we threw him in at the deep end with a month of Les Mills classes, including Body Pump, Body Combat and Spinning, at Fitness First FACILITIES: Studios packed with bikes, weights and mats. PRICE: Les Mills classes are available across Dubai, and Fitness First membership starts at Dhs429 per month. TELL US ABOUT IT: Vikram alternated Body Combat (martial arts, boxing and cardio), with Body Pump (cardio and weights) and Spinning (stationary bikes) for a full body workout – and maximum exhaustion. He took part in classes four times a week and took a particular like to Body Combat (deep seated aggression?). The combination of loud music, good banter and enthusiastic instructors meant classes were social, too. ANY PRE-REQUISITES? To keep up you’ll need a basic level of fitness, but classes cater to everyone from total beginners to muscle-bound gym regulars. WAS IT A SUCCESS? After a month Vikram has been transformed from an insomniac exercisephobe who couldn’t run for more than seven minutes to a well-rested gym bunny. Fitness First, various branches, Dubai. Tel: (800) FITNESS. www.fitnessfirstme.com

The hypoxi & vacunaut method LOST 5KG OF FAT

REGIME: We subjected tester Sarah to three sessions a week exercising while wearing a rubber suit. Yes, really. FACILITIES: Hayya! Health Club and Kindermusik Villa each have a room full of machines to target all sorts of problem areas, such as bums, tums and hips. PRICE: Cost Dhs2,400 for 12 sessions TELL US ABOUT IT: There are specific programmes for emergency weight loss – like the Slim-a-thon, which is a five-day intensive course. However our tester, Sarah, opted for

three sessions per week and followed the ‘Hypoxi’ rules of no carbs post workout and limiting the cocktail drinking to non-Hypoxi days. The sessions also concentrated on the waist area, so used the Vacunaut machine. At the beginning of each session she was strapped into what only could be described as a ‘deep-sea diving suit’, with tubes attached. The tubes are what pumps air in and out of the suit, creating the vacuum effect, which gets the blood circulating, thus boosting fat burning. The entire session involves just 40 minutes of power walking on a slight incline on the treadmill. ANY PRE-REQUISITES: You need to purchase the slinky Lycra suit to wear

underneath the neoprene and the usual garb of trainers and sports bra. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Scheduling the sessions in the diary meant Sarah actually kept to the regime. Plus she has a very low attention span when it comes to exercise, so the studio provides DVDs and entertainment, which means she got through the entire first season of Frasier without ever feeling like a hamster-on-a-treadmill. But the best bit? The noticeably flatter stomach, smaller waist measurement along with the 5kgs of weight loss after completing the 12 sessions. Bodysmart, Hayya! Health Club, Meadows Town Centre and Kindermusik Villa, Umm Suqeim 3, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3638318. www.hypoxitherapy.com

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The ballroom dancing method GAINED 1KG OF MUSCLE

PRICE: The first lesson is free, and then you can work out a fee programme with your instructor depending on your standard and THE REGIME: Tester and selfhow many lessons a week you want. confessed gym hater Annmarie trained TELL US ABOUT IT: Fast-footed three times a week, with one private American Joe put Annmarie through her lesson, one group dance class and paces with cardio-packed sessions, and new one ‘party lesson’ at the Arthur Murray dance moves in every lesson. The ‘party Dance School lessons’ sadly aren’t an excuse to try out the lift from Dirty Dancing (although Joe could FACILITIES: There are two dance studios, probably teach you it), but instead a chance one in Souk Al Bahar and one in JLT. Each to mix with other students and learn how to studio has floor to ceiling mirrors and, of dance socially. course, music. ANY PRE-REQUISITES? You don’t need

Slimming at the spa These methods might not improve your fitness, but they do promise to help you lose a few inches. We sent some testers along to try them REGIME: Cellulite Control at SensAsia Urban Spa GOAL: Lose the cellulite. THE METHOD: After an initial consultation, tester Leah had her target areas are measured in order to monitor the inch loss. The treatment then begins with body brushing to improve circulation and encourage lymphatic drainage. A soothing tonic is then applied, to clean and prepare the skin, followed by active ingredients on the stomach and thighs in order to break down the toxins and emulsify the fat. My target areas were then cocooned in an algae wrap and electrodes applied to my skin. Pumping blood and ingredients around my body, Leah said her muscles began to contract, albeit a little uncomfortably. Aware of this problem, her therapist then began an Indian head massage in order to distract her from the constant buzzing. After around 20 minutes the electrodes were taken away and the algae wrap removed with a warm towel. WAS IT A SUCCESS? The Cellulite Control treatment works by breaking down fat cells and reducing the amount of fluid retention, and after only three sessions Leah could definitely see a difference. Her thighs and stomach were smoother and the cellulite was reduced dramatically. TOTAL LOSS: Three inches PRICE: From Dhs1,540 for a series of three, five or ten sessions. SensAsia Urban Spa, The Village Mall, Jumeirah, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3498850. www.sensasiaspas.com

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REGIME: LPG Lipomassage at Tips & Toes, JBR GOAL: To become more sculpted, slimmer and streamlined. THE METHOD: At the first session, therapist Catheryn asked tester Vhairi a few questions regarding diet and exercise habits, took measurements and weight, and then snapped photographs of the problem areas – a task that will be repeated after the treatment. For quicker and more visible effects, it’s recommended clients have two to three sessions a week for a two or three-month period. Wearing her personal ‘suit’ – think full-body stocking – Catheryn used the LPG Lipomassage system and its motorised rollers across Vhairi’s body – concentrating on the lower back, stomach and bottom for around 40 minutes. Vhairi said it was pretty relaxing once familiar with the sensation. The LPG system works by manipulating the skin tissues to stimulate dormant cells and encourage fat release. It targets localised fat – the stuff that doesn’t seem to budge no matter how hard you work the treadmill – cellulite and loose skin, sculpting the body. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Although Vhairi went in feeling a little sceptical, she did in fact lose weight – along with several inches off several places. TOTAL LOSS: Three inches PRICE: Dhs400 per session, or Dhs3,700 for ten sessions and Dhs5,250 for 15 Tips & Toes, various branches, Dubai, 9am10-pm daily, Tel: (04) 4293477. www.tipsntoeshaven.com

any previous experience, just a keenness to learn and comfortable shoes (ladies will need a slight heel to start with). Trainers are a no-no. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Annmarie gained a kilo of muscle, achieved definition in her arms, had a great time and is now auditioning for Strictly Ballroom 2. And the next series of Dancing With The Stars. Arthur Murray Dance Studios, 1 West Block, Emaar Boulevard, Souk Al Bahar, Downtown and 201 Reef Tower, Jumeirah Lakes Towers, Dubai, Sun to Wed 1pm to 10.30pm and 11am to 4.30pm from Fri and Saturday. Tel: (04) 4508646. www.arthurmurraydubai.com

The two-prong attack method LOST 2KG OF FAT

THE REGIME: Incorporating both exercise and spa treatments, tester Therese was trained thrice weekly with instructor Dominic Mahaga and took to the massage table three times a week with therapist Belma Beba FACILITIES: The gym at Le Méridien Dubai has loads of Nautilus machines, an aerobic studio, Power Plate machines, cardio room, free weights zone, two pools, and there’s the Natural Elements spa downstairs. PRICE: A personal training package of ten sessions costs Dhs1,800 and Pevonia and Ila spa treatments for face and body will set you back Dhs5,500 for the full package. TELL US ABOUT IT: Dominic suggested Therese worked every day and burn about 400 to 500 calories by doing cardio and weights, alternating upper and lower body with the weights. She trained with him, beating personal best cardio times, increasing weight reps and stamina. At the same time, Therese was treated to a green coffee body wrap for toning, plus sessions with electronic slimming treatments using CACI, LPG and ALS machines. ANY PRE-REQUISITES: You don’t need any experience to do the gym work, just willpower and eagerness. You’ll obviously have to buy the sports shoes and gym clothes. For the spa, you just need time. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Therese lost 2kg of fat, gained a kilo of muscle and her skin tone was much improved. Natural Elements Spa & Fitness, Le Méridien Dubai, Garhoud, Dubai. Tel: (04) 7022430 JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 21

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Dubai’s deadliest dishes Last time we checked (and we are pretty meticulous), the estimated daily calorie intake is 1,940 for women and 2,550 for men.With that in mind, here are five dishes that you would do well to avoid – and our own Mr Fitness has worked out what you’d need to do to burn them off… SALAD DISH: Grande taco salad with ground beef and chipotle honey mustard dressing WHERE FROM: On The Border DESCRIPTION: The term salad is misleading – it is actually an enormous meat-filled taco. And this ‘salad’ comes with as many calories as three burgers. CALORIES: 1,690 STARTER PRICE: Dhs35 DISH: Bloomin onions TO BURN IT OFF YOU’LL NEED TO… WHERE FROM: The Outback Steakhouse style your hair for nine hours DESCRIPTION: “Don’t fill up on starters” – a DETAILS: Jumeirah Beach Residence, phrase often heard in the What’s On office, a Dubai. Tel: (04) 4230627 common problem if that starter is an entire deep-fried onion with dipping sauce. KIDS CALORIES: 1,550 DISH: Mac ‘n’ cheese PRICE: Dhs39 WHERE FROM: California Pizza Kitchen TO BURN IT OFF YOU’LL NEED TO… play DESCRIPTION: Child portions are the accordion for 14 hours essentially ‘small’, so how on earth do they DETAILS: Dubai Festival City, Dubai. Tel: get so many calories in this dish? Sure, kids (04) 2328989 run around a lot, but after this meal will they even be able to stand up? DRINK CALORIES: 1,038 DISH: PB&C milkshake TO BURN IT OFF YOU’LL NEED TO… WHERE FROM: Cold Stone Creamery trampoline for five hours DESCRIPTION: This peanut butter and PRICE: Dhs20 chocolate shake is undeniably the daddy DETAILS: Various locations across the UAE of calorific drinks. Who knew you could actually slurp your daily energy DESSERT allowance through a straw in ten DISH: Mega sized deep-dish sundae minutes? WHERE FROM: Uno’s Chicago Grill CALORIES: 2,030 DESCRIPTION: Ah dessert – that little PRICE: Dhs22 reward we give ourselves for behaving TO BURN IT OFF YOU’LL NEED well and finishing our dinner. Although TO… turn the pages of at a staggering 2,800 calories, this seems What’s On for 32 less like a reward and more like cruel and hours unusual punishment. DETAILS: CALORIES: 2,800 Various PRICE: Dhs49 locations TO BURN IT across the OFF YOU’LL UAE NEED TO… do archery for 14 hours DETAILS: The Dubai Mall, Dubai. Tel: (04) 343 9131

The allpersonal training gym method GAINED 2KG OF MUSCLE

THE REGIME: Evolve is a gym with a difference – every time you go you exercise with a personal trainer. Members can train solo at the weekends, but otherwise it’s all with an expert. Luxurious and high-spec, it’s getting fit, Dubai style. Our tester, gym-phobic Nicola, saw a trainer four times a week and followed a strict diet prescribed by the team FACILITIES: Wow. Evolve has been kitted out, big time. Trainer and businessman Dan Harrison has travelled the world for ten years trying out techniques and finding the equipment for his dream gym – and dreamy it is, with a modern space, cutting edge machines and an outdoor terrace overlooking the Arabian Gulf. PRICE: Annual membership costs Dhs4,000, and sessions start from Dhs280 per hour. TELL US ABOUT IT: Training four times a week and following a Paleo or Paleotic diet (no sugar, carbs, caffeine or alcohol as recommended by athletes like Lance Armstrong) is no joke, as Nicola quickly found out. She nearly fainted during the first session – exercise was a serious shock to the system. Over the following weeks Dan focused on different body parts, allowing enough time to heal after high impact training. The first two weeks were spent teaching Nicola the correct techniques, before stepping up the repetitions and cardio even more. ANY PRE-REQUISITES? Commitment. Lots of it. Dan is a perfectionist who will teach you exactly what it takes to be healthy and fit – all you need to do is what he tells you. WAS IT A SUCCESS? Within ten days Nicola felt more energetic and far less stressed; even her skin looked better. By the end of the month muscle definition was noticeable. On a personal level, she is more confident about walking into a gym and not looking like the new girl, feels revived and happier, is re-educated on diet, and would recommend this level of attention to anyone looking to kick-start or maintain their fitness regime. Evolve, Jumeirah Terrace building, Jumeirah, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3254499. www.evolveuae.com

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25-28 Comedy

FUNNY PEOPLE Meet the future of UAE comedy WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN’T COME BACK? A STICK. OK, so comedy isn’t our forte. Fortunately, the UAE’s comedic coffers are bursting at the seams with real talent, and this month sees the first ever regional tour from a group of home-grown comedians, with the launch of the Rotana Comedy Tour. Up until 2007, UAE comedy consisted of visiting Western comics holed up in smoky Western bars telling Western jokes. Then producer and comedy mastermind Jamil Abu-Wardeh created the Axis Of Evil Middle East Comedy Tour – inspired by its US namesake – to promote Arab talent from around the world. Bringing comedy into the mainstream by coining the three Bs – blue material, beliefs and ‘bolitics’ – the Axis Of Evil reached out to a local audience, making stars of performers like the Arabic speaking Korean-Jordanian Wonho Chung in the process. Emirati funnyman Ali Al Sayed and American comedienne Mina Liccione followed that in 2010 by setting up their Dubomedy comedy school, with the aim of nurturing local talent, and the Rotana tour is testament to their success. In the following pages we celebrate Mina, Ali and the first three of their former pupils to go pro – Rohit Jayakaran, Omar Ismail and Brent Jenkins, as well as popular Indian performer Nitin Mirani, who spent the past seven years building a large and devoted following with his show Komic Sutra. So, ladies and gentlemen, please, put your hands together, and welcome to the stage, as they boldly go where no comedian has gone before, the future faces of UAE comedy…

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FUNNY PEOPLE PLEASE, WELCOME TO THE STAGE…

MINA LICCIONE ALL THE WAY FROM… DUBAI, VIA NEW YORK CITY How would you describe your comedy style? I’m American, so I am loud and nasal. Who is the funniest person you know? My dad. He’s the quintessential Italian-American ‘Guido’. I’m sure he has a secret life as a boxing coach called Tony. He wears leather jackets, drives a black Lincoln and loves Sinatra. What is the worst piece of advice you’ve been given? People say that you should imagine your audience naked. Why would you do that? An Arab audience would be all hair.

“People say that you should imagine your audience naked. Why would you do that? An Arab audience would be all hair” – Mina Liccione

PLEASE, WELCOME TO THE STAGE…

ALI AL SAYED

ALL THE WAY FROM… DUBAI

Do you remember your first show? It was for 800 dentists at a corporate event. Dentists are scary. I remember preparing a routine and passing it to the committee who said ‘Yep, everything is fine, except for the dentist jokes’. What is your secret weapon? I wear comedic underwear. So if things start to go wrong I can always resort to that. What is something that you don’t get, but everyone finds funny? Jackass. Why is that funny? What was the last joke you heard? Donald Trump is running as a Republican Presidential candidate, which is funny because I thought he was running as a joke.

Is On [Ro 10 Wh I’d Sta the mo Do na at Pe sta ma

TOUR DATES June 6, Boys’ Night, Double Decker, Al Murooj Rotana, Dubai, 8.30pm to 10pm, free. Tel: (04) 3211111 June 13, Mina Liccione and the Funny Girls, Nelson’s, Media Rotana, Dubai, 8.30pm to 10pm, free. Tel: (04) 435 0000 June 20, Boys’ Night, Long’s, Towers Rotana, Dubai, 8.30pm to 10pm, free. Tel: (04) 343 8000 June 27, Mina Liccione and the Funny Girls, Double Decker, Al Murooj Rotana, Dubai, 8.30pm to 10pm, free. Tel: (04) 3211111 July 4, Boys’ Night, Boston Bar, Jumeira Rotana, Dubai, 8.30pm to 10pm, free. Tel: (04) 345 5888 www.dubomedy.com

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PLEASE, WELCOME TO THE STAGE…

ROHIT JAYAKARAN

PLEASE, WELCOME TO THE STAGE…

ALL THE WAY FROM… DUBAI, VIA NORTH INDIA

OMAR ISMAIL

Is it ever acceptable to wear a comedy tie? Only at inappropriate formal events, or to work [Rohit works for Bollywood radio station City 101.6FM] What would you do if you won the lottery? I’d buy a Dubai Metro station, call it The Last Station, and put it right in the middle of the line. Luckily, I don’t have that kind of money. Do you have to self-censor your natural sense of humour in the UAE at all? Personally, I don’t like being vulgar on stage. It’s a very simple promise I made to my mum a long time ago.

ALL THE WAY FROM… DUBAI, VIA NEWCASTLE Emirati-Geordie, eh? An interesting combination. It sure is. Both my Arab and English family are very loud; I was always the quiet one. When they ask me, “what do you do?” and I tell them comedy, they all say, “Go on then, be funny”. A tough crowd, my family. You’ve quit your job to do comedy. That’s very brave. I worked for a telecoms investment firm. When I left, I was asked to do a gig. They asked, “Do you have any telecoms investment jokes?” I said, “No, but nobody else does either, so you might as well hire me.” What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled? My former boss asked me to ban Facebook from the office, so I blocked the management. To this day they’re not allowed to use Facebook and they have no idea everyone else can. It’s been 18 months.

PLEASE, WELCOME TO THE STAGE…

BRENT JENKINS ALL THE WAY FROM… DUBAI, VIA AUSTIN, TEXAS (GEORGE W BUSH TERRITORY) So, Brent, is Texas funny? Most of my stuff is observational humour about my life and some crazy characters from back home in Texas. I’m from the small pocket of Texas that still votes Democrat. Tell us a joke There’s a saying back in Texas, women don’t sweat – they glisten. Well, during this photo shoot I was ‘glistening’ like a horse! What do other people find funny, but you just don’t get? Curb Your Enthusiasm. It’s just not for me. What’s the funniest word you know? Kumquat.

PHOTOS BY: FAROOQ SALIK

aid

FUNNY PEOPLE

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THE KINGS OF

UAE COMEDY WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?

You’ve met the new breed, now, put your hands together for the big guns of UAE comedy, Wonho Chung and Mr Komic Sutra himself, Nitin Mirani

WONHO CHUNG

British comedian Steve Steen is a veteran of legendary improv series Whose Line Is It Anyway? He heads to Dubai this month with a five-man live comedy show based on the programme

What is it like being a comic in the UAE? Challenging. In Dubai, a lot of the audiences are half Arab-speakers and half English, and because I can speak both I have to plan my sets carefully. It can be difficult to cater to people from different backgrounds. What’s the best bit of advice you could give a young performer? The moment you lose that rush is the day you shouldn’t be there any more. What if they paid you a million dollars Will you play a Whose Line Is It Anyway? per show for a residency in Las Vegas? game with us, Steve? Could you narrate [Laughs] I’d do it five times a day. touching down here in Dubai in 50What is the funniest word you know? degree heat in a film noir style? Ridonkydonk. Meaning [In gritty American lilt] As soon as I hit the UAE, ridiculously donkey-like the heat just hit me straight away. I started to What is the least funny fruit? sweat like the old men of the Cuban tavernas. I Apples. They have no was wishing I was sucking myself inside a glass redeeming features. Fruit is of beer right now, but it felt like I was the one only funny if it has hair. that was the sucker. What was the last joke you Nice. How will your Abu Dhabi show heard? compare to the original? Girl gets prince. Bad guy is It’s a similar format. We throw in a few extra dead. Perfect Disney weekend. games that people won’t have seen before. It’s How long is too long? audience suggestion based, so whatever they When a joke goes by and no one suggest, we act out. It’s very simple, fast, slick laughs – that’s too long. and off the cuff. www.wonhochung.com Was Whose Line Is It Anyway? always genuinely improvised? In the TV version I was always surprised. They would halt a scene right in the middle and say ‘Can we go back and start again?’ And you go, Away from the local comedy, The ‘No, not really. I can’t remember what I said Laughter Factory continues to do two seconds ago’. We don’t get that onstage. its thing with this latest trio of visiting That’s the joy: no confines. international talent It sounds ridiculous, but do improv JEFF NORCOTT shows require preparation? Critically acclaimed British stand up, satirist The best preparation is absolutely none and TV presenter, Jeff Norcott is a regular on whatsoever. It’s always better to have a clear both radio and television in the UK. mind and then you can really let yourself go.

NITIN MIRANI Tell us about your show, the Komic Sutra. The term Sutra in Sanskrit means ‘The Art’. So Komic Sutra is the art of comedy. What’s your act all about? I do observational humour. I’ve cooked fries, sold credit cards and worked at a music store. Plenty of inspiration there. Give us an example. The other day I ordered room temperature water. The waiter brought me cold water. I said, “I asked for room temperature.” He responded, “but the room is cold”. What makes you laugh? I love tangled phrases. Yesterday I heard someone say, “Coffee is not my cup of tea”. Do people expect you to be funny? Women come up to me and say: “Tell me a joke’”, so I say, “OK, but I’m also a gynaecologist”. www.nitinmirani.com

WIN!

IMPORTED LAUGHS

June 9 to 11, Madinat Theatre, Madinat Jumeirah, Dubai, 8pm, Dhs165. Tel: (04) 3666546. www.madinattheatre.com

PETE JOHANSSON

Frequently seen on US and Canadian television, Johansson has performed all over

TICKETS

the world at prestigious venues including London’s Comedy Store and New York’s Carolinas Comedy Club.

MANDY KNIGHT

For your chance to win tickets to The Laughter Factory show at The Address Dubai Marina’s Mazina on June 17, e-mail winwithwhatson@motivate.ae with Laughter in the subject line and the answer to this question. How many comedians are performing at The Laughter Factory this month? a) 14 b) 3 c) 1

A popular female stand up who chose to forgo a career as an actress to risk the jeers and heckles of a live audience, Knight has performed with famous British comics Jo Brand and David Baddiel.

June 8 to 17, The Laughter Factory, various locations, Dubai and Abu Dhabi, from 9pm, Dhs130. www.thelaughterfactory.com

28 WHAT’S ON JUNE 2011

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31 CoffeeDXB.

COFFEE TESTED

NERO

SECOND CUP

DUNKIN’ DONUTS

VERDICT: Nero’s cappuccino comprises a shot of strong espresso, sipped through tightly packed foam. It’s a relatively small cup, eschewing the American trend for giant coffees. STRENGTH: Strong PRICE: Dhs12 Various locations, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4475419

VERDICT: Quite strong, with a slightly bitter coffee taste beneath thick foam. STRENGTH: Strong PRICE: Dhs14 Various locations, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3449755

VERDICT: A strong and full flavour with a decent layer of foam. Worth having without a doughnut – even better with. STRENGTH: Strong PRICE: Dhs12 Various locations, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3932282

COSTA

CARIBOU

SEATTLE'S BEST COFFEE

VERDICT: Extremely hot with velvety foam and medium strength coffee flavour coming through once it’s cooled down a bit. PRICE: Dhs14 STRENGTH: Medium Various locations, Dubai. Tel: (04) 2329075

VERDICT: Medium strength coffee topped with dense foam. Not as rich as some of the others. STRENGTH: Medium PRICE: Dhs14 Various locations, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4270543

VERDICT: Not bad, but not really mind blowing. Medium strength, good, thick foam – a workmanlike coffee. STRENGTH: Medium PRICE: Dhs14 Various locations, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3479316

GLORIA JEAN’S

GERARD

STARBUCKS

VERDICT: All froth and no substance. Not very well constructed at all. STRENGTH: Low PRICE: Dhs14 Various locations, Dubai. Tel: (04) 2880812

VERDICT: Piping hot – giving you ample time to take this sweet, milky coffee back to the office. Not ideal for purists. STRENGTH: Low PRICE: Dhs13 Al Ghurair City, Al Rigga, Dubai. Tel: (04) 2228637

VERDICT: Large and creamy, the Starbucks’ cappuccino is not for those who like their coffee super strong. It’s almost like hot milk with a caffeine twist. STRENGTH: Low PRICE: Dhs14 Various locations, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3316164

THE TAKE AWAY TEST

We ordered a small cappuccino to take away from nine high street coffee chains. Which coffee are you?

JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 31

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33-34 Pub Quiz

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DUBAI’S BEST PUB QUIZZES The great British tradition of pitting your wits against fellow pub-goers has caught on a storm in Dubai. From laidback bars with easy brainteasers, to the trickiest quizmasters in town and prizes ranging from pints to iPads, we’ve rounded up our favourites for your intellectual pleasure

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When? Tues days from 7.30 pm Why should you go? For to 10.30pm Dhs85 you’ll get a quiz AN Da thought. Ho-ho buffet dinner. Food for . every week an Most of the teams come d th too, plus some ere’s a good bit of banter, cr Arabian Ranche acking prizes. s Dubai. Tel: (04) Golf Club, Emirates Road, 3663000

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entry fee m 7.30pm get a table. There’s no When? Mondays fro one, so arrive early to ge your lar pin pu im y po a ma is it is t Th bu m: a good deal, 9p What’s the deal? til un e) . fre too e e, on lik get y one burgers and the and it’s happy hour (bu up for th nachos, calamari, re wi mo nu d me an ts ack fas sn a ak ’s bre , with brunches, ub quizzing skills. There e Cl t cam ch Ya we t the tha for en uchers ying, giv What can I win? Vo to the top three teams. Which was anno ing go grabs, with goodies nd re’s also a Dingbats rou fourth. ur usual categories, the re was yo the m it fro vis t art las Ap r ? ou ds on Any special roun and feel stupid) and ned to drive you mad posters with William (picture puzzles desig Movies, featuring film weird. er atn Sh am illi W t No lik led t we kind of e a picture round cal y characters. Weird, bu question: Which sport was ke to on d ste pa ad he Shatner’s cky. Sample tually, pretty darn tri ed badminton, which Difficulty rating: Ac ike? That would be lawn tennis. We guess ist originally called sphair es down, so practice a point. st teams let themselv mo surely deserved half ere wh is brain of a nd rou ts Dingba mates, but boasts the What’s On tip: The from work who has no ow kn u yo ke blo t or bring along tha to logic. savant when it comes i. Tel: (04) 3627900 b, Dubai Marina, Duba Clu Dubai Marina Yacht

6/12/11 11:32:08 1:31:23 PM 5/29/11 AM

DUBAI’S BEST PUB QUIZES

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34 WHAT’S ON JUNE 2011

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MOBY

Fully 20 years into a glittering career, gazillion-selling New York-based electronic producer Moby is finally making his bow in the Emirates, playing Dubai’s World Trade Centre in July This is your first show in the Middle East. Are you excited to make it over here? Considering I’ve been touring for 20 years, it sort of surprises me that it’s my first time. It almost seems like there’s a subway stop in New York that goes directly to the UAE, because I know so many people here who have either lived or worked there. It seems like it’s the most futuristic, famous place on the planet. Every time I open an architecture or design magazine there’s some article on something being built there, so I’m really fascinated to be going. When I go to a new place, I try to go in without pre-conceived expectations. But everyone I know who’s visited comes back in awe. Also, I have this strange pathological love for intense heat. In New York, people start complaining when it gets up to 35C. For me, the heat in New York starts to get interesting at 40, 41, 42C. I love walking outside and feeling like you’re walking into a blast furnace. I’d rather be almost unbearably hot than pleasantly hot. That’s unusual. But then, a musician reading architecture magazines is pretty unusual, too? Well, it’s sort of a cliché, really, how so many musicians and public figures talk in interviews about if they weren’t a musician or public figure then they would be an architect. I’d happily fit into that cliché. On my last tour, one of the most exciting places I went to was Brasilia. I actually re-routed the tour to go there so I could see Oscar Niemeyer’s architecture. That’s the depth of my architecture nerdiness. Back to onstage nerdiness – what can we expect from this gig? You’re playing with your full live band, right?

“

I LOVE WALKING OUTSIDE AND FEELING LIKE YOU’RE WALKING INTO A BLAST FURNACE. I’D RATHER BE ALMOST UNBEARABLY HOT THAN PLEASANTLY HOT”

featuring your own photography. The Emirates have some fairly strict laws on photography – has your camera ever landed you in trouble? None of the photographs in the book ever got me into trouble. The only place I’ve ever had trouble was in New York. Specifically in the 1980s, because in New York there were so many criminals that it was safe to say anyone on the street was probably doing something wrong. I had a few occasions where I was just innocently taking pictures on the street, and I would have big, thugged-out guys with pit bulls and guns either demand the film or tell Your new album, Destroyed, is nocturnally me to move on. I hope to have some time to inspired. At 45, do you find yourself going take a lot of pictures in the Emirates, because out until all hours still? Or are you more I’ve never been to that part of the world. nocturnal in the way your work? Unfortunately, I’ve had insomnia almost all my A few recent interviews have painted you life and it’s exacerbated by going on tour and as quite a solitary person. Is that a myth or living in hotel rooms. Rather than lie in bed fair assessment? late at night and rail against the fact that I can’t Well, I’m an only child, I grew up alone, I live sleep, I try to get up and do stuff: whether that alone and work alone, so as much as I like involves going for walks through empty cities at people, I do tend to spend most of my time by 3am, buying worthless crap on eBay or writing myself. I stopped drinking a couple of years music. So a lot of the music on this record was ago. When I was a crazy falling-down drunk, really inspired by that experience, being in a I spent a lot of time being social and I loved hotel room at 3am, staring out at a desolate, nothing more than being in a bar at 4am. empty city and feeling like you might be the Now I find, in sobriety, that has lost a lot of only person left alive. its appeal. Yeah, there are eight of us onstage – me playing guitar, keyboards, percussion and vocals, then we have a string section, two vocalists, bass player, drummer, and keyboardist, so it’s quite a big show. In so far as I have hits, I guess this would be considered a greatest hits show. There’ll be a few songs from the new album, but I realised if I go to see a band I don’t want to hear that much from their new album; I want to hear the songs I’m familiar with. So for the most part it’s music from older albums like Play and 18.

At the same time as Destroyed you’re also launching a book of the same name,

You’ve also talked about how spending money on material goods didn’t make JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 37

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meyd

MOBY a lot of classical music, but also old punk rock and speed metal. And I love music based on how and when it was made. So, I really like early 1970s African disco, because it was produced really interestingly, and R&B from the late 1950s, because everything was covered in reverb. That’s one reason I don’t listen to a lot of modern music, because I rarely hear modern music that has been produced interestingly. I realised I don’t like professional, slick, polished recordings.

you any happier. So you won’t be dashing off to the UAE’s malls when you arrive here? I might go to some of the famous malls just for anthropology and observation, but to be honest I wouldn’t know how to buy luxury goods. I wouldn’t know the difference between any of the designers and brands. I had a Casio watch that I bought for about $15 that lasted a really long time! That whole world of very expensive luxury brands, for better or worse, is wasted on me. There’s a company called Moby Group here in Dubai. Are you aware of any entertaining companies or other entities that share your pseudonym? There are a bunch of things that share my name. Apparently in computer hacking circles ‘a Moby’ is a really big hack. There’s a line of gigantic ferries that go back and forth between North Africa and France/Italy called Moby. And I think there’s a company called Moby that makes Snuggies, you know, those blankets that you wear.

You’ve said that David Bowie and Brian Eno’s production inspired Destroyed. What else has been on your CD iPod lately? I have really odd musical tastes. I listen to

What’s next after your current touring? All I want to do with my life is make records and books and play records for people – and, maybe at some point, have an actual relationship that’s not interrupted by going on tour for six months. That’s my goal – when the tour ends, go home and work on music and have a decent, grown-up relationship. C

July 4, Dubai World Trade Centre, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, 7pm, Dhs200 to Dhs350. Tel: (04) 3913460. www.moby.com

Moby -o-meter

CMY

From techno to thrash rock, Moby’s multi-million-selling discography spans the lot. Here are the most diverse highlights in decibels…

DESTROYED (2011)

ANIMAL RIGHTS (1996)

Moby’s tenth studio album is one of his most subtle, 15 melodic electronic tracks inspired by time spent alone on the road. One song, Victoria Lucas Lucas, is named after Sylvia Plath’s penname. Not a party record, then.

PLAY (1999)

Though Play irked music snobs, with every track licensed to TV adverts, Moby has never bettered its uplifting, soul-sampling impact. Shifting eight figures worldwide, it spawned countless hit singles.

After rising to cult status as a techno innovator, Moby picked up a guitar and started reliving his formative punk rock days. Arguably a career high in retrospect, it nevertheless split fans and critics alike.

- DECIBELS + LAST NIGHT (2008)

EVERYTHING IS WRONG (1995)

Blazing a trail for The Prodigy and The Chemical Brothers towards mainstream domination, Moby’s breakthrough LP built on the success of club smash Go, twisting techno into accessible shapes.

Touring the world and making more money than a small country’s GDP didn’t sate Moby’s artistic lust. Here he returned to his DJ roots, roping in rappers from to reinvigorate his sound.

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The Address Dubai Marina is offering a weekend night stay in a deluxe room coupled with a table for two at its family-friendly Saturday brunch at Mazina. The winner can pick either a Friday or Saturday to stay, depending if they would rather be fully rested for the brunch, or to sleep it off afterwards. What day does the Mazina Restaurant have its family brunch? a) Monday b) Saturday c) Wednesday

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and let the fine people at Dubai Marina Yacht Club change your mind. To win a roast dinner for two at Café Bistro, just answer this toughy: What is a classic centrepiece for a traditional roast dinner? a) Roast lamb b) Sushi c) Fruit salad

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If you think that the perfect start to a weekend is a round of golf followed by a fill-your-boots buffet, then definitely get involved to win this prize from the Arabian Ranches Golf Club. For your chance to win, tell us: How many holes do you play in a round of golf? a) 1 b) 18 c) 100

WIN! DINNER FOR TWO AT OTTOMANS Why not treat that special someone to dinner at Grosvenor House’s Turkish restaurant, Ottomans? If you answer the following question correctly, they’ll even throw in a bottle of vino to sweeten the deal. Which modern day country was the centre of the Ottoman Empire? a) Middle Earth b) Turkey c) New Zealand

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BIRTHDAY COMPETITIONS

WIN! A STASH OF PISTACHIOS

WIN! THE ULTIMATE RESORT BREAK AT PARK HYATT ABU DHABI

Nuts about pistachios? Empty your cupboards, as we have a giant box filled with ten packets from Wonderful Pistachios to keep your rumbling tummy at bay. To win these lemon-flavoured nibbles, simply tell us... Which of the following are not a variety of nut? a) Walnut b) Brazil c) Peach

To help celebrate the soon to be opened Park Hyatt Abu Dhabi on Saadiyat Island, we are giving one outrageously lucky couple a two-night stay, including breakfast and a three-course dinner, in one of the Park Villas. To be in with a chance to win this prize, worth a staggering Dhs13,500, simply tell us… When is the Park Hyatt Abu Dhabi opening? a) 2151 b) September 2011 c) 200BC

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WIN! BRUNCH AT THE ADDRESS DOWNTOWN DUBAI

WIN! A FAMILY MEAL FOR EIGHT PEOPLE AT BICE

You know what makes a weekend even better? A free brunch – especially when that brunch is the fantastic Fazaris Vintage Friday Brunch. So pick a partner and answer this question… Which part of the world is not known for its vineyards? a) South Africa b) France c) Russia

One of our favourite Italian restaurants, BiCE at the Hilton Dubai Jumeirah, is giving away a ‘family style’ meal for eight people to enjoy a lavish spread. Answer this question correctly for a chance to tuck in: What was the capital of the Roman Empire? a) Paris b) Rome c) Beirut

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WIN! A STAY, DINNER AND MORE AT THE CROWNE PLAZA DUBAI

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BIRTHDAY COMPETITIONS

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Specifically for children between the ages of six and 12, this prize (worth Dhs900) allows the winner to experience five days of drawing, painting and ceramics classes. The camp runs from July 10. For a chance to win, tell us… Which of these is a famous painter? a) Tiger Woods b) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart c) Pablo Picasso

We like The Bonnington in JLT, and we like it even more when they offer a free night in one of their deluxe Rooms. To sweeten the deal, they have included breakfast for two and access to their terrace leisure deck. If you’re game, tell us: Which of these is not a small town in England? a) Bonnington b) Cavendish c) Ras Al Khaimah

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WIN! DINNER AT WAREHOUSE Warehouse at Le Méridien Dubai is a bar, club, brunch venue and live music purveyor, and we’ve got a voucher worth Dhs250 to give away. If you fancy a night out on us, you’ll have to get this question right… Which neighbourhood is Warehouse in? a) Garhoud b) Greater Manchester c) Grimsby

Pink Pepper Photography will show one prizewinner the ropes, with a pre-shoot consult, a professional shoot and a private viewing of their images, You also get the chance to spend Dhs2,000 on digital images of your choice. To be in with a shot (hoho), you’ll have to know this… Which of these is not part of a camera? a) Lens b) Joystick c) Flash

WIN! DINNER AND A SPA WIN! TABLE FOR FOUR AT THE SESSION AT THE ARABIAN GRAMERCY’S NEW BRUNCH COURTYARD HOTEL The Jazz Brunch at the Gramercy is a new addition to the Friday brunch landscape. To celebrate that (and our birthday), they are offering a table for four people to while away the afternoon feasting and listening to some jazzy beats. For a chance to win, tell us… Which of these was a famous jazz musician? a) Louis Armstrong b) Neil Armstrong c) Lance Armstrong

The lovely people at Arabian Courtyard Hotel & Spa are not only giving away a dinner for two at the Silk Route restaurant, they are also throwing in a spa treatment from their Zaitoon Spa. You lucky people you. For a chance to win, tell us… Historically, across which continent was the Silk Route? a) The Moon b) Antarctica c) Asia

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BIRTHDAY COMPETITIONS

WIN! A WATCH BY ALFEX

WIN! A LUXURY WEEKEND STAY AT THE YAS HOTEL

We love a natty timepiece here at What’s On and have scored a Swiss-made Alfex watch from the nice people at Al Futtaim Watch House. Made of stainless steel, it is waterresistant and worth over Dhs1,000. For your chance to win, simply tell us… Switzerland is know for what kind of clock? a) Swan clock b) Cuckoo clock c) Seagull clock

Modern, sleek and what we imagine a Storm Trooper’s mansion to look like, the Yas Hotel is one of the most stylish pads around. To help us celebrate our birthday we’ve teamed up with the hotel to offer you a little something. How about a twonight stay in one of its suites, including breakfast? Not enough for you? Then we'll throw in entrance to both of its lounge bars, Rush and Skylite, and two detox treatments at its ESPA spa. For a shot at this amazing weekend, you’ll have to answer this question: Where is the 2011 Abu Dhabi F1 Grand Prix held? a) Treasure Island b) Yas Island c) Easter Island

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WIN! A COOKING MASTERCLASS AT VERRE

WIN! A FAMILY TICKET TO SEE WEST SIDE STORY

Wow your friends with your new-found cookery skills after learning the tricks of the trade from Scott Price, the Executive Chef at Verre by Gordon Ramsay at the Hilton Dubai Creek. Worth Dhs950, the masterclass will teach you how to cook a three-course meal and how to choose the perfect bottle with the Wine Discovery course. For your chance to win, tell us… What country is Gordon Ramsey from? a) Scotland b) India c) Peru

The award-winning musical is coming to Dubai, and by answering the following question correctly you could win tickets for your whole family, worth Dhs550, for July 19. For a chance to win, tell us… Which Shakespeare play is West Side Story based on? a) Romeo and Julio b) Romeo and Juliet c) Romeo and Ethel

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WIN! DINNER AND DRINKS AT CIPRIANI AND ALLURE The deliciously chic Cipriani restaurant at the Yas Island Yacht Club is offering a very lucky individual a meal for two (including Bellinis) and entrance to its Allure nightclub. Sadly there can only be one winner. For a chance to win, tell us… Traditionally what fruit is in a Bellini? a) Peach b) Rosemary c) Cumin

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WIN! A PAMPERED STAY AT THE RAMADA IN AJMAN Away from the hustle and bustle of the cities, the Ramada Hotel & Suites Ajman is offering up a voucher for two lucky winners (worth Dhs2,300 each). The prize offers a two-night stay for two people in the Executive Suite, with a body massage or facial treatment thrown in for good measure. For your chance to win, just answer this question: How many Emirates make up the UAE? a) 1 b) 7 c) 50

WIN! TWO DINNERS FOR TWO AT THE RADISSON BLU The nice people at the Radisson Blu are giving you lucky lot two dinners at their restaurant Chef House; one for the ‘curries of the world’ dinner and the other for a ‘culinary cruise’ dinner. For a chance to win, tell us… Where does a chef traditionally prepare his meals? a) In space b) A kitchen c) On a pogo stick JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 45

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BIRTHDAY COMPETITIONS

WIN! YOUR CHOICE OF A MEAL FOR TWO AT THE MOVENPICK HOTEL

WIN! A SEMESTER OF CLASSES AT KIDVILLE This tremendously generous offer from early development centre Kidville offers one winner a block of 16 free classes for their little one, under five years of age. Kidville is opening new branches at Motor City and Uptown Mirdif, and to celebrate you can win this prize, worth a whopping Dhs2,325. Just tell us: Which of the following will not have a new Kidville branch this year? a) Motor City b) Uptown Mirdif c) The moon

With many different nights on offer, the Movenpick Hotel in Bur Dubai is letting the winner of this comp pick their prize from a choice of a Thursday night Grill, a Friday Brunch or The Fully Monty on Saturday. For your chance to win, tell us… What day comes after Saturday? a) Friday b) Sunday c) November

WIN! LUNCH AT CAFÉ CHIC Elegant eatery Café Chic at Le Méridien Dubai is a world away from the soggy fare you probably have in your Tupperware, so to inject a little je ne sais quoi into your day, we’re offering one reader lunch there for two people. For your chance to win, tell us… Which of these is a classic French bread? a) Wonderbread b) Nan c) Baguette

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to improve your mind and coffee table? The Third Line gallery is offering books showcasing the skills of Emirati photographer Lamya Gargash and artist Susan Hefuna. For your chance to win, tell us… Where is the Third Line? a) Al Quoz b) Al Qasr c) Al Ain

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WIN! DINNER FOR TWO AT SANABEL Feeling hungry? Then read on, dear reader. Sanabel, the Mediterranean restaurant at The Pullman hotel in Barsha, is offering a table for two for the winner of this competition. For your chance to win, tell us… Which of these countries isn’t in the Mediterranean? a) Spain b) Turkey c) South Africa

WIN! A STABLE TOUR AND BREAKFAST AT THE DUBAI POLO CLUB Horse fans are in luck as we’ve teamed up with the Dubai Polo & Equestrian Club to offer one winner (and seven pals) a tour its stables and a breakfast feast. For your chance to win, tell us… Which of these is a sport played on a horse? a) Polo b) Polio c) Apollo

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FILM

Attack The Block

Mr Popper’s Penguins

Attack The Block

Mr Popper’s Penguins

Super 8

WHO?

Nick Frost, Jodie Whittaker, Luke Treadaway, John Boyega, Alex Esmail, Joe Cornish (writerdirector)

Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Madeline Carroll, Angela Lansbury, Ophelia Lovibond, Mark Waters (director)

Kyle Chandler, Elle Fanning, Noah Emmerich, AJ Michalka, Steven Spielberg (producer), JJ Abrams (writer-director)

Owe Guy Mor Lass

TAGLINE

‘Inner city vs. outer space’

Er, ‘Jim Carrey’

‘It arrives’

‘From

ONCE UPON A TIME...

Bonfire Night on a South London estate saw much nastier things than spent fireworks fall to Earth, but the hoodie-clad street kids were tooled up to defend their concrete jungle.

Icy businessman Tom Popper (Carrey) inherited a highly unusual package from frozen Antarctica, and soon found his heart thawing as rapidly as its contents.

A group of film-making friends in a small, late-1970s Ohio town witnessed a train derailed by a car, but the ‘accident’ quickly spiralled into a spate of eerie occurrences.

Star (Wil the W into whee

IDEAL IF YOU’RE IN THE MOOD TO...

Watch one half of clownish comedy duo Adam & Joe craft his first feature almost entirely out of knowing references to others.

See rubber-faced Carrey and his trademark tomfoolery in a scenestealing contest with a gaggle of flightless seabirds.

Unravel what at first smells like another run-of-the-mill shady conspiracy, but soon starts to feel distinctly less Earthly.

Hear top s as bu Batm Knig

WATCH THIS IF YOU LIKE...

The same movies as Joe Cornish. Alternatively, any other modern Brit-flick with Edgar Wright (exec producer) onboard – Shaun Of The Dead being an obvious contender.

Adaptations of 1938 children’s books. For those with marginally less esoteric tastes, think fishout-of-water animal crackers like Babe: Pig In The City, or earlier cautionary Carrey tale Liar Liar.

Statue Of Liberty-trashing 2008 snarler Cloverfield – produced, of course, by JJ Abrams. But if that was a one-trick pony, this looks likely to have a second up its sleeve.

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TOP TRIVIA

When Cornish quizzed SXSW festival audiences over US plans to subtitle the film’s heavy London slang, nobody reported noticing an accent problem.

Ben Stiller was originally slated to play Popper, with Noah Baumbach (The Squid And The Whale) directing. Both dropped out – make of that what you will.

Despite early rumours to the contrary, Abrams insists Super 8 has no link to Cloverfield. Those powerfully magnetic teaser trailers hold more clues, we suspect...

Since Cars New up G

WHAT’S ON TEN WORD OR LESS REVIEW

Impressively toothy aliens, but a little more bite needed overall.

Carrey’s in a flap, but will he leave us cold?

Monstrous fun as Abrams rewrites the rules of attraction.

We’r one a

RATE OR SLATE?

★★★✩✩

PREVIEW

PRE

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FILM | NEW RELEASES Cars 2

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

Cars 2

Transformers: Prom Dark Of The Moon

Winnie The Pooh

Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy, Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Eddie Izzard, John Lasseter (director)

Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, Steven Spielberg (producer), Michael Bay (director)

Aimee Teegarden, Thomas McDonell, DeVaughn Nixon, Danielle Campbell, Yin Chang, Joe Nussbaum (director)

John Cleese, Jim Cummings, Tom Kenny, Craig Ferguson, Travis Oates, Stephen Anderson (director)

‘From the creators of Toy Story 3’

‘Earth’s last stand’

‘Who are you going with?’

‘Oh Pooh’

ds wn a

Star car Lightning McQueen (Wilson) took off to compete in the World Grand Prix, but skidded into a high-stakes game of fourwheeled international espionage.

The Autobots learned of a spacecraft hidden on the Moon, sparking a race to uncover its secrets and casting new light on our own 1960s lunar programme.

A disparate group of faintly selfabsorbed tweens fretted about the minutiae of pubescent life as the social event of the year loomed into view.

Christopher Robin’s favourite stuffed animal, Pooh bear (Cummings) ran out of honey. He set off to find more, but ended up in a hunt for a donkey’s missing tail.

ke y feel

Hear Michael Caine lording it as a top spy after more servile outings as butler Alfred Pennyworth in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.

Watch an entire city get pummelled into dust for two solid, high-octane and decidedly mindnumbing hours.

Watch Disney’s hand-wringing highschoolers clatter through a few meaningless, but oddly satisfying, romantic encounters.

Be transported back to childhood by a relatively faithful adaptation. Unusually, the script here is based on two original AA Milne stories.

08 d, f s up

Pretty much anything from the impressive Pixar studios, but most importantly the original Cars (1996). If you didn’t like that, it may be time to head to the pits for an oil change.

Either of the first two instalments in Bay’s robo-smash franchise. Although, frankly, if you were a TF fan as a kid, you’ll have given up on this trilogy already.

Bring It On, which temporarily blotted Kirsten Dunst’s career copybook even as she carried her co-stars to box office safety.

The good old days of Disney family adventures, before CGI came along and polished everything to a dazzling (if slightly plastic) shimmer.

Since starring in the original Cars, both Hollywood icon Paul Newman and legendary US standup George Carlin have died.

During filming, the 2011 Chevy Camaro ‘playing’ Autobot Bumblebee was badly damaged by a cop car speeding to a bomb alert.

When Prom star Aimee Teegarden asked Miss Teen USA contestant Caitlin Upton about maps in 2007, the bungled response got 50million YouTube views.

This franchise reboot is the 51st feature-length film in the Disney cannon, and entirely made using traditional animation techniques.

We’re pretty revved-up about this one already.

Beats Revenge Of The Fallen, but won’t raise the Titanic.

Hardly the homecoming queen, but any port in a storm.

Sweet, natural, and well worth sticking a paw into.

PREVIEW

★★✩✩✩

★★★✩✩

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51-63 EatingOu

EATING OUT It’s fair to say that the UAE is not famed for its fresh, local produce. While the words ‘organic’, ‘seasonal’ and ‘local’ have been buzzwords in Europe for a decade or so – and not just among foodies, either, the revolution is mainstream there – the UAE has been pretty slow to catch on. But, recently, there have been a few steps in the right direction – Baker & Spice's Friday Farmers’ Market (now, unfortunately, closed for summer) was a huge hit with us, likewise the Choose Wisely campaign (www.choosewisely.ae), which promotes the use of sustainable, local fish. Though the latter, disappointingly, is still only supported by one local chef – Verre’s Scott Price. This month’s Eating Out is dedicated to this worthy cause – another small step towards a more localised food scene. We chatted to the chefs at Abu Dhabi’s Le Bistrot (p60), which has just introduced a sustainable, 100 per cent local menu, as well as introducing Bumble Box (p61) – a new local fruit and veg delivery service set up by Dubai-based businesswomen Sonia Veysey and Becky Balderstone, who also run a Farmers’ Market at the Dubai Garden Centre. But it’s not all about campaigning. In the following pages you can also enjoy a run down of speedy UAE lunches (p52), our verdict on new Japanese Honyaki (p54), trendy hangout Amika Lounge (p57), indy Indian Aryaas (p58) and Anatolian restaurant Lalezar (p58), plus the UAE’s first sturgeon farm, The Critic on food apps, and a warm welcome to The Ivy (p63), which finally opens this month. We tested the menu a couple of days before opening and everything, especially the cod with cauliflower, clams and samphire (the recipe is on page 63), certainly seemed in order. Get yourself down to the Bumble Box Farmers’ Market, refuse to eat another piece of hammour or, if it’s all you do, at least think twice about what you, or your favourite restaurant, put on your plate. The revolution begins here, ladies and gents.

BUMBLE BOX MARKET

Gareth Rees, Features & Food Editor

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TIME FOR A SPOT OF LUNCH? Only one hour for lunch? Ditch the canteen and make it work, with our round up of the UAE's best lunch spots

course buffet. Or a few seconds quicker for those seated closest to the food. VALUE FOR MONEY With this quality and quantity you can have your cake and eat it for Dhs148. The Yas Hotel, Yas Island, Abu Dhabi, Sun to Thurs noon to 3.30pm, Dhs148. Tel: (02) 6560000. www.theyashotel.com

CAFÉ CHIC

WHAT? A starter, main, dessert and tea or coffee, with a glass of wine for a little extra. We enjoyed a nice goats’ cheese salad and a sweet red onion velouté for appetisers, a filling veal osso bucco off the bone and several pink lamb chops for mains, and finished things off with a tarte tatin and a lemon pie. The sommelier suggested something lovely to complement our platefuls, and despite the Garhoud location, it was busy on a Tuesday lunchtime. TIME It really depends how fast you eat, but there’s no slacking between courses and you could make it an hour-long quickie or more languid 90-minuter. VALUE FOR MONEY Dhs190 with a glass of vino, Dhs170 without, making it one of the pricier lunches. Ideal for treating yourself on a Thursday. Café Chic, Le Méridien Dubai, Airport Road, Garhoud, Dubai, Sat to Thurs 12.30pm to 2.45pm, Dhs170 to Dhs190. Tel: (04) 2170000. www.lemeridien-dubai.com

GLASSHOUSE WHAT? There’s nothing fussy about executive chef Scott Price’s new menu. Three starters, three mains and three desserts. Scott is the only chef in town who has signed up to the

REFLETS PAR PIERRE GAGNAIRE

WHAT? The lunch menu, which changes every fortnight, is the perfect introduction to the wonders of Michelin-starred master chef Pierre Gagnaire’s only Dubai Glasshouse outpost, enabling you to enjoy the challenging, often magical, cuisine Choose Wisely campaign, which to 3.30pm, Dhs75 and Dhs95. Tel: for relatively little money. First up supports sustainable fishing in the were four tiny tasters comprising (04) 2127551. www.hilton.com UAE, and we ate an outstanding a beetroot puree with anchovy, appetiser of marinated faskar with a cube of hen broth (that’s right) beetroot and goats’ cheese salad. with bean sprout salad, a rataWHAT? We also tried a commendable touille with pepper coulis and Origins is already a cut above chicken and leek terrine, before quinoa tabouleh. Then came a moving on to mains of sea bream in the average all-day dining, but it delightfully light crayfish dish, ups the stakes for this sumptuous an intelligent paprika cream sauce followed by a manly main of roast and the star of the show – a base of lunchtime buffet. The ‘serve your- Normandy chicken with Dauphiself ’ element guarantees incredible nois potato, and a selection of the spicy horseradish mash filled with speed, regardless of how busy the beef and onion with a flaky pastry always excellent desserts. restaurant is. A huge array of cold TIME lid. A pie made light enough for cuts, salad, dips and more got us lunch. Pick of the desserts was a We took an hour and 20 minutes. off to a flying start, and provided custard tart, which the chef promYou could do it in an hour, but it a light prelude to our stomachised would be “sexy”. It was. would be a waste. We advise orswelling selection of mini steaks TIME dering a glass of wine and settling with oven roasted potatoes and We were in and out within 50 in for a two-hour ‘meeting’, espeminutes, having eaten three cours- buttered vegetables. A roast in a cially if you’re dining before June 6 rush, if you will. The desserts are es followed by coffee. Impressive. when Pierre himself is in town. plentiful, too, with a forkful of the VALUE FOR MONEY VALUE FOR MONEY gateau-esque signature Yas Cake An absolute bargain by anyone’s Dhs180 for three courses and a proving an essential sugar rush standards at Dhs95 for three dessert of this calibre is a dream. to power you through those post- InterContinental DFC, Dubai, courses and Dhs75 for two. A lunch hours. slap-up meal at a winning price. Mon to Fri noon to 2.30pm, TIME Glasshouse, Hilton Dubai Creek, Dhs180. Tel: (04) 7011199. www. A mere 35 minutes for a threeDeira, Dubai, Sat to Thurs noon ichotelsgroup.com

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Rivington Grill

RIVINGTON GRILL

WHAT? Weekday lunches don’t need to be a hastily grabbed sandwich or sad leftovers. From Sunday to Thursday, the Riv serves up two courses for Dhs80 or three for Dhs100, with two choices for each course, which change daily. When we visited, a seasonal asparagus soup and blue cheese salad with apple and watercress started proceedings, followed by pan-fried salmon with fennel and citrus dressing or the famed beef and Yorkshire pudding salad for mains, nicely finished by either strawberry Eton mess or some tropical fruits with sorbet. Portions are more than enough to get you through the afternoon, but aren’t nap-inducing. TIME 50 minutes for three courses. Speedy indeedy. VALUE FOR MONEY A great way to sample the menu without splashing the cash - especially on days when there’s a nice steak on the menu. Rivington Grill, Souk al Bahar, Dubai, Sun to Thurs noon to 4pm, Dhs80 for two courses or Dhs100 for three courses. Tel: (04) 4230903. www.rivingtongrill.ae

SHANG PALACE

WHAT? While an all-you-can-eat affair doesn’t, on the face of things, seem like a good idea for a whistle-stop lunch, the reasonable weekday prices for this yum cha offering ensure you don’t need to pile the dishes high. A mounted menu, that doubles as a checklist, makes ordering super simple and speedy. The piping hot clear chicken soup with fresh mushrooms and asparagus does take a little time to cool sufficiently to start, but after that small plates arrive with alacrity. Our personal pick was the wokfried radish cakes Singapore style, although save a few minutes for the alluringly rich crispy sesame ball dessert. TIME 55 minutes for three courses, and a mini banquet at that. VALUE FOR MONEY: Particularly ravenous fast eaters get the best VFM here. Shangri-La, Qaryat Al Beri, Between The Bridges, Abu Dhabi, noon to 3pm (last orders at 2.30pm), Sun to Thurs Dhs88 for two courses, Dhs108 for three courses,. Tel: (02) 5098888. www. shangri-la.com

OKKU

WHAT? Okku feels like WHAT? a different place Getting to mall-based restaurants during its lunch normally involves strategically service; the noise planning your route through and excitement hoards of weekend shoppers. A of its evening bustle helpful tip is to visit them during replaced with serene chat and your weekday lunch break. While an easygoing vibe. The food is Wild Ginger’s kitchen offers up very much the same though, some pretty standard pan-Asian and the mixture of businessmen, favourites, it does operate like tourists and ladies that lunch a well-oiled machine – and it's scattered around the place are certainly not stingy with its porable to enjoy the classy Japanese’s tions. Time wise, a nasi goreng signatures of miso black cod and with skewered chicken in soy the Okku burger. sauce main was not far behind TIME the wasabi prawn starter, and the Exactly 58 minutes from entry to banana fritters were a crisp and exit. Two minutes to get back to clean way to end it. Tasty and full, the office, and you’d better look with 15 minutes to spare. sharp about it. TIME VALUE FOR MONEY Just 45 minutes for three a la There are four options, from carte courses. Dhs69 to Dhs125, depending on VALUE FOR MONEY whether you’d like an entrée and/ Excellent value considering all or desert and a drink, and all of three courses and a fruit juice will which are a great introduction to cost you less than Dhs80. the Okku menu. Wild Ginger, Deira City Centre, Okku, The Monarch, 1 Sheikh Dubai, 10am to 10pm. Tel: (04) Zayed Road,Dubai, Sun to Thurs 2953511 noon to 3pm, Dhs69 to Dhs125. Tel: (04) 5018777

ZUMA

WHAT? DIFC. Business. Zuma. The three go hand in hand, which is why this restaurant is packed with ‘city’ types come lunchtime. It’s all about suits and sushi, and some people actually seems to be working, too. TIME No messing around here. How long’s your lunch break? One hour? Zuma will have you fed and back at your desk in less than 50 minutes with three courses of the finest Japanese food Dubai has to offer filling your belly. Or, if you’re really pushed for time, skip a course and get back for that 1.30pm conference call, pronto. VALUE FOR MONEY Outstanding. A choice of three dishes for Dhs120 from the ebisu menu, or two from the ebisu express for Dhs62. That’ll explain the crowds, then... DIFC, Sun to Thurs 12.30pm to 3pm, Dhs120 for three courses, Dhs62 for two courses. Tel: (04) 4255660. www.zumarestaurant.com

CAFÉ M

WHAT? A bright, buzzing space, Café M is a popular lunch spot with Media City workers. There’s an a la carte menu, but for speed and convenience opt for the midday deal which scores you unlimited access to a regularly replenished salad bar and ice tea (Dhs35), or add a freshly-made sandwich for Dhs50. Also recommended are the bento boxes (Dhs50), which include dishes from all over the globe, so choose from mini-meals from America, Malaysia and more. TIME The serve-yourself salad bar saves precious minutes and we were in and out within 40. VALUE FOR MONEY Starting from Dhs35, this deal is cheap enough to make your leftovers look redundant. Café M, Media One, Media City, Dubai, Sun to Thurs noon to 3pm. Tel: (04) 4271000. www.mediaonehotel.com JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 53

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EATING OUT

On the menu

Honyaki From the sashimi menu, a few scoops of bright orange and powerful flying fish roe (tobiko) went well with several fetching slices of yellowtail (hamachi) and the firm, meaty cuttlefish (ika). The nigiri sushi was just as good. A cool, clean strand of sea bream cruised nicely across the tongue on a portion of rice, as did the melt-in-the-mouth segments of scallop. The hand rolled cones of temaki sushi were a rare discovery, and the California temaki, king crab, cucumber, avocado and caviar wrapped in seaweed, was best shared – pass the sushi style – one bite at a time. Throw in three or four portions of gingery seared wagyu tataki, and that should be more than enough for two. But we stuffed ourselves silly with Honyaki’s take on the club sandwich, made of up salmon and crunchy tempura, some deep fried soft-shell crab with more of the flying fish roe and, finally, shrimp tempura. All scoffed without complaint, and wedged in with three scoops of mochi ice cream (the blueberry was a delight) and a bowl of sweet, sticky rice. So, it turns out that somewhere between Zuma and Yo! Sushi there is space for a small Japanese restaurant serving some straightforward, quality food. Honyaki now fills that space.

Feast on this month’s new additions ROAST WITH THE MOST In response to the blistering heat, the clever folks at Al Badia Golf Club have shifted their Friday brunch indoors to the Terra Firma Steakhouse. Dubbed the Roast & Grapes brunch, the a la carte service will enable you to devour endless cuts of roast meat without leaving your chair. Terra Firma Steakhouse, Al Badia Golf Club, Dubai Festival City Dubai, Fri noon to 4pm, Dhs195 to Dhs330. Tel: (04) 7011128. www.albadiagolfclub.ae ZUMMER DRINKS Feeling a bit tubby? Worried about fitting into your summer bikini? Enter Zuma with its new range of low-calorie coolers and cleansers. The rejuvenated cocktail menu will include drinks created from fresh fruits and natural sweeteners to help you keep the extra kilos at bay. Zuma, DIFC, Dubai, from Dhs30. Tel: (04) 4255660 REGIONAL THAIS We love a bit of Thai Kitchen action, and the addition of new dishes to the menu is as good a reason as any to pay it a visit. Chef Supattra has developed several new dishes that showcase the flavours of her home in the north-east of Thailand. Chilli peppercorn and hot basil frogs’ legs, anyone? Park Hyatt Dubai, Deira, Dubai. Tel: (04) 6021234 LITTLE ITALY Le Méridien Abu Dhabi’s Amalfi restaurant is launching its new menu, to coincide with its global nomination for the Best Traditional Italian Food award by Ospitalita Italiana – a panel set up by the Italian Chamber Of Commerce to recognise global Italian cuisine. Le Royal Méridien Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi. Tel: (02) 6742020

Does Dubai need another Japanese restaurant?

He is a Japanese chef. And he’s done a decent job with Honyaki. The restaurant itself is extremely small, seating just 30 inside and 30 on the terrace. The tables are close If we were opening a restaurant in together. The staff greet you with Dubai, it wouldn’t be a Japanese the informal “moshi moshi” (hello). one. And, finally, there’s not too much That’s not because we don’t like messing about with the menu, or Japanese food, you understand 'fusion’ as some like to call it. – there’s nothing we like better We’re not talking secret than a few slivers of skilfully subterranean sashimi counter in sliced sashimi, a mustardy bowl of Tokyo here, but there’s a layer of wasabi prawns or several strips of authenticity. silky, seared wagyu. The name, Honyaki, a type of It’s just that the emirate is Japanese knife, is appropriate, positively bursting with Japanese as the best of the food can be restaurants – it seemed at one found on the sashimi section of stage a new place was practically the menu and all of the dishes opening every week – so we have are uncomplicated, produced the full range from conveyor with little more than dextrous Need to know belt quickies at Yo! Sushi to the hands, a sharp blade and quality sophistication of Zuma. ingredients. Location: Souk Madinat We wouldn’t open a Japanese The edamame with spicy chilli Jumeirah restaurant in Dubai, simply paste were on the crunchy side Tel: (04) 3666730 because we already have enough of of cooked, which we liked. The Web: www.jumeirah.com them. Or so we thought. common miso with seaweed and Open: Sun to Thurs noon to It didn’t start well, though. tofu had more depth of flavour midnight Honyaki claims to be “authentic”, than your usual fast food broth, Cuisine type: Japanese which is always a worry. How on while a second option benefited Must eat: scallop nigiri earth can a Japanese restaurant be from a handful of slippery nameko Bill for two: Dhs550 authentic if it’s not in Japan? If it mushrooms sat at the bottom of is, in fact, in a desert? But, having the bowl. dined there, we know what chef de cuisine Keneth Kim means. In tweet form… Dubai’s newest Japanese Sort of. restaurant. A welcome addition to the Dubai Kim arrived in Dubai having dining scene, serving unfussy, praiseworthy worked in Japan, Korea, London’s dishes at sensible prices. Follow us at Nobu, Zakura in, of all places, WhatsOnDubai and WhatsOnAbuDhabi Azerbaijan, and Kimu in Istanbul. follow me

54 WHAT’S ON JUNE 2011

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51-63 EatingOu

EATING OUT

Amika Lounge

A taste of things to come

Does modern Italian cuisine, late night drinks and an enthusiastic DJ make for Dubai’s most anticipated new opening?

A transparent baby grand piano was being delivered to Amika as we walked through the door. Casual, it ain’t. Still in the soft opening phase, the Monarch’s latest resident has taken over a dark space, with raised dining area, cream and onyx lounge, VIP booths and bar. It’s glam, with chandeliers and luxurious fabrics, so it’s no surprise that Amika is billing itself as something of a late dining spot, batting against the likes of Cavalli to nab that loyal crowd of late starters – no mean feat. With this in mind, taking a table at 8.30pm was perhaps a little on the early side, but there were a few other people having some drinks and flicking through the menu, looking as though they couldn’t quite figure out how they had ended up there. The strangeness subsided as the night went on and hoards of people arrived for ladies’ night, but one more bit of the bizarre awaited before we settled down for dinner: there are no tables for two. At all. We were seated overlooking the bar (perfect for assessing the clientele), with two spare spots on the table. Spacious? Yes. Slightly awkward and effective at making us look like we’d been stood up? Certainly. Waiter Neo swooped in with menus to distract us, proffering pages of Italian food split by course, then into ‘modern’ and ‘traditional’, all listing impressive ingredients and introduced by a charming letter from chef Maurizio, previously of Frankie’s. It seems Amika is his baby, the place where he’s free to blend gold leaf with vanilla oil and baby spinach. And experiment he does, playing with conventional Italian flavours, and adding in a touch of the Blumenthals. We

New stamps for your food passport

started with organic breaded baby buffalo mozzarella with lavender and candied tomato, and warm sea scallops with truffle polenta and enoki mushrooms from the modern antipasti menu, and threw in the beef bresaola from the traditional side. The presentation was well done, and some flavours, such as the polenta and a goats’ cheese mousse that came with the beef, shone through, but the temperatures seemed off, as though the dishes had been sitting under a halogen light before serving. Luckily, the two generous veal dishes we ordered for mains saved the day – including a Milanese name-checked by the chef in his intro. It came with flawless fondant potatoes and lip-smacking garlic spinach, then a hunk of ossobuco on saffron risotto, dripping with a bone marrow sauce that tasted so home-made we wouldn’t have been surprised to see Chef Maurizio’s mamma peeking around the kitchen door to see how we liked it. Very good, indeed. By the time dessert came around, the music had changed from jazzy to jumping, with micro-skirted girls trotting through the door at an impressive rate. The jovial atmosphere felt a little forced, as

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did the concept tiramisu we were presented with; four narrow test tubes set in a hefty brick, each containing a flavour; in theory a true fusion of the modern and traditional, but we generally prefer to eat dessert with a spoon instead of a straw. Come 11.30pm, Amika’s bar was jammed, while the dining area was a little neglected. There’s no doubt that this will be a popular spot, with promises of a grand opening (Lady Gaga kicked off the London outpost) and a 1980s night on Sundays, the staff are already up to speed, and the punters are already proclaiming it the newest hot spot, but the restaurant needs a little more time. One to watch.

Need to know Location: The Monarch, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3544005 Web: www.amikalounge.com Open: Daily 8pm to 3am (last food serving at midnight) Cuisine type: Italian Must eat: veal ossobuco Bill for two: Dhs600

In tweet form… A sultry bar spot that should play to its strengths until the kitchen is up to speed, but it could be a real contender in time. Follow us at WhatsOnDubai and WhatsOnAbuDhabi

JONES THE GROCER We’ve been fans of Jones since the Aussie-born cafédeli-grocery store opened its first branch in Abu Dhabi. Its wagyu burger is the best in the capital, bar none. And now, at last, we can welcome Jones The Grocer to Dubai. Hot on the heels of its fourth Abu Dhabi outpost in Al Raha Gardens, Jones is also entering the Dubai fray with its first store opposite Times Square Mall. Al Manara, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai. www.jonesthegrocer.com BALANCE CAFÉ Healthy eating matters, but it matters more to some than to others. If you’re one of those people who obsessively check the calorie count on every item in your shopping trolley, the Balance Café is for you. The menu looks to marry your choice of food with your personality. Baffled? Don’t worry, there is a nutritionist on hand to help you determine which dominant element best suites you. A calorie count is also provided with each meal, so all you need to decide is whether you are more an earthy person or a windy one. Oasis Centre, Third Floor, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai. Tel: (04) 5152051 BIKERS CAFÉ Set to become the hippest hangout for every hairy biker and his roaring hog from here to, well, Ras Al Khaimah, we’re guessing, the Bikers Café, on Jumeirah Beach Road, is now fully open for business. There’ll be bikes galore, both inside and out, and enough tea and cakes to keep even the most hellish of hell’s angels happy. Jumeirah Beach Road, Jumeirah, Dubai. Tel: (050) 2913650

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EATING OUT

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Aryaas Restaurant The new Bur Dubai branch of the Indian restaurant chain proves to be a real hidden gem On the whole, food FOOD presented in metal, EDITOR’S prison-style trays PICK tends only to be served to people who owe a huge debt to society or, oddly, school children. But Aryaas, opposite BurJuman in Bur Dubai, is the exception to that rule. The vegetarian delights on offer in this unassuming new restaurant – one of a chain (usually a huge turn off ) – would be wasted on the unruly, or the under-tens. It’s not classy, it’s not going to blow your mind and there is no meat, but the confusingly named ‘family roast’ – actually a four-foot long dosa – we ordered to mop up the various included dips proved to be worth the journey alone. Then there was the terribly bad for you – but oh so good –fried paneer cheese, and plenty of doughy paratha and brittle papad (poppadoms) to accompany the chutneys, curries and pickles that came as part of the thali. We’re talking lots of freshly cooked bread and plenty of spicy, sweet, sour and creamy sauces and chutneys to dip it in – perfect for sharing, and packing just the right amount of spicy kick. Downstairs is reminiscent of an office canteen, so it’s best to take a seat upstairs in the more sophisticated ‘family’ section, and order away. We spent Dhs124 between two, but we went a bit wild with the menu; you could easily aim for a sub-Dhs50 for lunch. One caveat though: do not, under any circumstances, order a South Indian coffee – there’s enough sugar content to practically give you instant diabetes. Aryaas Restaurant, Khalid Bin Waleed Road, opposite BurJuman, Bur Dubai. Tel: (04) 3577800

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Lalezar Does “Dubai’s first Anatolian restaurant” live up to our expectations? We’re suckers for anything purporting to be a little bit different here at What’s On. So the bold claim of newly opened Lalezar, at Jumeirah’s Zabeel Saray on The Palm, to be “Dubai’s first Anatolian restaurant” was always going to grab our attention. Anatolia was a part of the Ottoman Empire, a region that now sits in the middle of modern day Turkey, and its cuisine is made up dishes that are cooked in the home, rather than the fabulous street food or high-end restaurants found in Istanbul. And the food we ate at Lalezar can, indeed, most accurately be described as homely or rustic. Most people faced with a large menu in a Turkish restaurant will turn straight to the page listing the kebabs, demand a couple of meaty treats and be done with it. Do not

do that at Lalezar. We started well with a bowl of the mercimek corbasi; a lightly spiced red lentil soup served with bread and melted kashkaval, sheeps’ milk cheese. Of the appetisers, the scallops with marinated artichoke (zeytinyagli emginar) were edible, if uninspiring, whereas the icli kofte, several bulgur wheat croquettes stuffed with minced beef, were much more agreeable. For mains, we had a nice piece of sea bass doused in its own broth and a heavier dish of beef tenderloin with potato cake. The dessert selection, reasonably priced at Dhs45, included a delightful sponge cake and a decent baklava, as well as a baked quince and rice pudding. There’s nothing at Lalezar that

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will have you scouring through old maps for Anatolia, but the hand painted tiles are a welcome nod to the imperial grandeur of the Ottoman Empire, while the food is honest, well prepared and a darn sight better than your runof-the-mill kebab house.

Need to know Location: Zabeel Saray, The Palm, Crescent Road (West), Dubai Tel: (04) 4530444 Web: www.jumeirah.com Open: Thurs to Tue 3pm to 11pm Cuisine type: Turkish Must eat: mercimek corbasi Bill for two: Dhs940

In tweet form… Discover Anatolian cuisine at Zabeel Saray’s Lalezar. Homely food in lavish surroundings. Followed by a shisha on the terrace. Follow us at WhatsOnDubai and WhatsOnAbuDhabi

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Hakkasan Dubai to open in November CEO Niall Howard reveals all about the multi-million-dirham Hakkasan, Dubai, opening in Emirates Towers in November How will Hakkasan in Dubai differ from Abu Dhabi? All Hakkasans are different. We hate the word ‘chain’. We’ve got a unique design and we’re going to a have a magnificent terrace area. The lounge and private dining room will be different, but the rest will be very familiar to people who love Hakkasan. The menu should be the same. And the long bar and the blue glass will be there. There’s lots of competition around Emirates Towers, with The Ivy and La Petite Maison, Zuma and Royal China across the road at DIFC. Risky? I welcome the competition because it makes more of a culinary centre. We always targeted Dubai, but it took quite a long time to find a suitable site. We looked at DIFC, which is a great location, but Jumeirah are investing in Emirates Towers, putting in highend brands. It’s a big investment: we’ve taken on about 150 staff. Do you have bigger expansion plans for the region? O OR TW DINNER F njoy Hakkasan's We probably won’t open too many e e n to Ju een chance For your ersary menu betw tson@ Hakkasans, because we don’t a iv h n w h an wit special want to dilute the brand, but we’re -mail win an in the subject e , 6 1 d 12 an n. Hakkas .ae with is questio looking for a site in Dubai for our motivate the answer to th kkasan line and niversary is Ha sister restaurant Yauatcha, and we’ve What an rating in June? already found a location for it Abu celeb a) Fiftieth th Dhabi, so will begin to build this year. en b) Eighte www.hakkasan.com c) First

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Joya Jebel Ali Golf Resort and Spa’s new beach bar Joya is a themed carnival of hijinks, frolics and fun in the sun. We’re not just talking drinks and sand in your shorts. Joya’s Friday beach party runs from midafternoon offering VIP cabanas, bean bags and sun loungers on the shore, as well as DJs, food, water sports, beach volleyball, a bucking bronco and fashion shows. Appetite for fun not sated? Go all out on the Divaz floating VIP lounge. It doesn’t just bob about

near the shore – it sails out to sea for a party on the ocean waves. Coolio visited recently. That’s just the kind of place it is. Jebel Ali Golf Resort and Spa, Jebel Ali, Dubai, Fri 3pm to late, Dhs100 and free for ladies. Tel: (050) 8740980. www.joyabeach.com JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 59

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EATING OUT

The grass is greener Sustainability hasn’t really taken off in the UAE – until now. Le Bistrot, at Le Méridien Abu Dhabi, this month introduces a new eco-friendly menu, comprising organic produce from UAE suppliers. Head chef Thierry Gallas and acting executive chef Daniel Brooker explain all What made you decide to go green at Le Bistrot? Daniel: We started off doing a special dinner. The theme was sustainability, so we had to source local products and find suppliers. We found some, so we thought, ‘why don’t we turn this into something new?’. I believe we’re the first restaurant in Abu Dhabi to go sustainable. Thierry: We have to think about the future, right now. It will be too late soon. Was it a challenge to find reliable suppliers? Thierry: It certainly was difficult, especially to find local vegetables, meat and fish. That was a big part of the work. Daniel: It’s quite hard to find sustainable products in Abu Dhabi. You can find organic, but mainly from international suppliers, not local. But we did manage to find a nice organic farm [Abu Dhabi Organic Farm, in Suweihan] that supplies us with all our fresh fruit and vegetables on a daily basis. It’s all local suppliers – our meat is killed locally, our fish is from local waters. It’s more fun and more creative, going to the farm, seeing the chickens and quails running around. It’s a little bit of inspiration. You understand more.

We’ve ordered biodegradable tablecloths, for example.

You’re offering a sustainable menu all year round. Won’t summer make that difficult? Daniel: Our menu is seasonal. In the summer months it does get a bit limited, but we’ll just change it based on what we can get. You can still get lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, so it shouldn’t be a problem. And you’re growing your own herbs just outside the restaurant? Daniel: Yeah, we have a small garden. We’ve harvested a little basil, but it’s still in the development stage.

Organic food is often quite expensive. Is that the case here? Daniel: Actually, the sustainable menu is cheaper than the original menu, due to not having to pay transportation and import charges. How have diners responded so far? Thierry: Very positively. But some people still want to eat French. Daniel: We have two menus on the same card: a sustainable menu and then ‘guilty pleasures’. We still have wagyu, foie gras and duck breasts for guests coming for the French menu. Are there plans to go 100 per cent sustainable? Daniel: At the moment it’s just the food, but we’re working on changing all the lights to lowenergy bulbs and our urinals don’t use water. Soon we’ll be getting rid of linen and other items, replacing them with sustainable products.

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WHAT’S ON’S VERDICT Although there’s a danger of a placebo feel-good effect with ethical cuisine, Le Bistrot’s menu more than matches its laudable intentions. The thin and crispy beetroot tart, topped with young leaves, is a lovely light starter that subtly showcases the straightfrom-the-soil local products. What really confirms the scheme as a nailed-on victory, however, is the all-day braised lamb shoulder. A deliciously tender cylinder of fall-apart-on-your-fork goodness, the accompanying carrots in particular outstrip chemically enhanced rivals in the depth of taste stakes. And for dessert, not only is the honey pannacotta a snip at Dhs25, but the locally produced natural mountain honey is so fresh from the hive that Winnie The Pooh himself would satisfy his ceaseless sweettoothed at Le Bistrot.

Need to know Location: Le Méridien Abu Dhabi, Tourist Club Area, Abu Dhabi Tel: (02) 6446666 Web: www. lemeridienabudhabi.com Open: Sat to Thurs 12.30pm to 3.30pm, daily 7pm to 11.30pm Cuisine type: sustainable (alongside a ‘guilty pleasures’ French menu) Must eat: all-day braised lamb shoulder Bill for two: Dhs280 (without alcohol)

In tweet form… Le Méridien Abu Dhabi's Le Bistrot goes sustainable. And chefs Gallas and Brooker have our full support. Follow us at WhatsOnDubai and WhatsOnAbuDhabi

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DO THEY DELIVER? Organic, local produce is still something of a rarity in the UAE. New service Bumble Box aims to change all that, promising the best seasonal fruit and veg delivered fresh to your door. We asked Verre's executive chef, Scott Price, to give us his verdict

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CHEF SCOTT’S VERDICT… "Everything is fresh and ripe, there’s a good selection. You can smell it as well, which is always a good thing. It’s also clean and in good condition. You have eight different types of veg in this large box, which is plenty for a week. The cucumbers are really nice and small, full of flavour. The tomatoes smell lovely. The cherry tomatoes taste amazing – they’re as good as you’re going to get from anywhere else, especially in the UAE. We get everything delivered from Europe, and these are just as good. And they’re organic as well. Thumbs up from me."

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Bumble Box, Dubai Garden Centre, Dubai, Tue and Thurs from 9.30am. Tel: (04) 3400006

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Bumble Box delivery service, large Dhs130, small Dhs180. E-mail: orders@bumble-box.com. www.bumble-box.com

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STURGEON FISH

The world’s largest caviar farm is currently being developed in Musaffah, Abu Dhabi. We break down the facts and figures associated with the factory, sturgeons and the exclusive dish itself…

As long as a high quality water supply is available, caviar plants can exist anywhere in the world, even – in this case – in the desert.

Fresh sturgeon has been shipped to the UAE every week since March, with 140 tonnes being transported in total.

Sturgeon is one of the oldest fish species alive today, estimated to have existed for around 250 million years.

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Although the name suggests otherwise, the farm’s Siberian sturgeon aren’t from Siberia at all. They were bred at a plant in Germany, and then imported into the UAE, with many of them flown in by Etihad’s specialist cargo division.

During air transportation, state-of-the-art temperature control technology keeps the sturgeon at a constant 10°C to 15°C. Others are shipped by sea from Europe to Jebel Ali.

In total, 130,000 sturgeons will be imported into the Emirates before the first Abu Dhabi-made caviar is produced, all covering thousands of miles in air and sea freight crossings.

Siberian sturgeons aren’t used to the UAE’s high temperatures and keeping them in good condition is especially important, as they are an endangered species. The International Union For Conservation Of Nature warned last year that 85 per cent of all species of sturgeon are at risk of extinction.

Despite the costs associated with transporting the sturgeon, caviar prices from the new factory are expected to undercut imported lines. The caviar will be available all year round, with no added preservatives.

The farm has its own sturgeon nursery, and will eventually breed 80,000 sturgeons, producing 32 tonnes of premium caviar every year. Iran is the world’s largest caviar producer, exporting 300 tonnes per year. Its creamy white Royal Almas sold for around Dhs120,000 per kg last year. www.uftag.de

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THE CRITIC

James Brennan knows food. Having written on everything from bhajis to burgers for a string of international publications, James is now the Middle East chairman of the World’s 50 Best Restaurants judging panel. Don’t miss his monthly musings every issue. I’ve opened my own restaurant. It’s a 24-hour affair. Minimalist decor, simple menu. I bought tables and chairs and pictures for the walls, stoves and ovens, and the punters love it. Which is surprising, because I’ve given it a rude name and it serves mainly clam chowder and macaroni cheese. It’s a virtual restaurant, of course, and I run it on an iPhone. That’s sad. The fact that I have to check my phone every few hours to make sure the chowder is cooked properly ranks alongside livetweeting the royal wedding as one of the sadder things I’ve done. And

“IT WON’T ROLL UP ITS SLEEVE AND KNEAD PASTA DOUGH FOR YOU, BUT IT CAN BE A HANDY ASSISTANT IN THE KITCHEN. BIG OVEN BOASTS OVER 170,000 RECIPES” I blame it all on technology. Since buying a smartphone (long overdue as my previous device was one step up from a couple of yoghurt pots on a string) I’ve been exposed to the world of apps. Which, inevitably, means I’ve plunged my ladle into the rich and addictive gumbo of food apps. Restaurant Story is the one that keeps me up all night stirring the macaroni. Of course, there are no health and safety inspectors, severed fingers, whining customers or pompous food critics to contend with, so it’s really no reflection of real restaurant life. But it’s just one of the many apps that connects a global community of food and restaurant obsessives.

Another far more useful app is Foodspotting, which allows ‘appy snappers to take a picture of whatever they’re eating at any restaurant around the world, tag it, map it, post it and allow others to rate it. Most of the users are in America at present, but the chicken shawarma at Reem Al Bawadi is the top-rated dish in Dubai. Which clearly means Dubai needs more users. One thing Dubai doesn’t need more of is careless piscivores, which is where the Safe Seafood app comes in. Not only does it tell you whether a species is overfished, or possibly contaminated, it also offers alternatives and recommendations. On top of that, ten per cent of all proceeds

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is donated to the Environmental Defence Fund. All good news for the beleaguered hammour and bluefin tuna. And so to the business of actually cooking with your smartphone. It won’t roll up its sleeve and knead pasta dough for you, but it can be a handy assistant in the kitchen. Big Oven boasts over 170,000 recipes and no registration requirement. You can get ideas to use up leftovers, generate random recipes, read or leave reviews and, if you choose to subscribe, synch with your iPad and create grocery lists. But when you’re getting down to the nitty-gritty, there’s Ratio. Based on Michael Ruhlman’s brilliant book, it reveals the essential relationships between ingredients, and provides ratios for perfect sauces, doughs, stocks and so forth. So now I know that a basic bread dough is five parts flour and three parts water, for example. It’s just a shame that my life is now 999 parts messing about with food apps on my iPhone and one part doing anything else, otherwise I might be bothered to cook.

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The Ivy arrives

NEW OPENING

The Ivy head chef, Simon Conboy, on (finally) opening the British culinary institution in the UAE The Ivy is finally here. Relieved? It’s been a roller-coaster ride, working with Colin [Clague, executive chef, Caprice Holdings] on the menu, making sure we found the right staff, spending two weeks at The Ivy in London, learning the ethos, the history, what it stands for – it’s certainly been manic. What can we expect when we visit? A high level of service, a grand brasserie. But we’re not talking Michelin stars – that’s not what The Ivy is about. If you want a burger, we have a burger. If you want caviar, you can have that. That’s why it’s been so successful in London. How does it compare to London? We’d like to have the celebrity-led element, which the London restaurant is famous for. Obviously, they’re in the West End and we don’t have that theatre business over here. Any good restaurant needs a regular client base, people who will support you through quieter times, coming once or twice a week, championing the restaurant. That is what’s important. La Petite Maison and Zuma are across the road, Hakassan is coming soon. You've picked a tough location. It all adds to the culinary map of Dubai, raising the standards. The Ivy is a British institution. There’s room for everybody. Finally, the million-dirham question – will people be able to get a reservation? There’s been a lot of excitement about The Ivy coming to Dubai, and for the first month it will be hard to get in. From June 9, The Ivy, The Boulevard, Ground Level, Emirates Towers, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3198767. www.theivy.ae

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THE IVY’S FILLET OF COD WITH CAULIFLOWER MASH, CLAMS AND SAMPHIRE INGREDIENTS 4 x cod fillets 2 chopped shallots 250g clams 50g samphire 3tbsp white wine 2tbsp double cream 175g diced unsalted butter Olive oil Lemon juice For the mash 1 medium cauliflower, finely chopped 200ml double cream 50g butter Salt and pepper

METHOD 1. Season the cod with salt and pepper; fry in oil for approximately three minutes either side 2. Add clams, oil, shallots and white wine to a pan, cover with a lid and cook on a high heat until open 3. Add samphire, oil and cream, and bring to the boil 4. Remove from heat, stir in diced butter, season and finish with a squeeze of lemon For the mash 1. Melt butter in a pan, add cauliflower and several tsps of water, cover with a lid 2. When soft, add cream, bring to the boil and season 3. Remove from the heat and blend JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 63

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Never too young... With summer holidays looming it’s time to work out what to do with the children during those long, hot days. Emily Madghachian and Hayley Doyle of Kids’ Theatre Works tell us why their drama camps are the place to be The summer drama camps have been running for a few years now. Why do you think they are such a success? The camps are filled with fun and games, but there is also a focus on one big aspect – performing on stage by the end of the week. This idea creates excited energy and gives the young performers a goal. Knowing that after five days they will be under the spotlight, with an audience cheering for them, and performing in a show filled with their own ideas is a big part of the success. One of your selling points for this year’s camps is the UK instructors – why bring people from overseas rather than focus on local talent? It’s fantastic that professional actors from the UK can come over because, from the West End to venues in major cities and beyond, it’s one of the most highly regarded and established theatrical centres in the world. Our young Dubai performers will learn so much from the expertise that UK instructors can bring. Dean Elliott [the star instructor] has worked as a professional actor since he was a child. He is best recognised now as Buddy Holly, having played him in the worldwide hit musical Buddy for many years. He is also wonderful with children having done workshops all over, including third world countries. Is this just fun or is it serious training for those considering a career as a performer? There is a lot of fun to be had in these workshops, and kids who don’t necessarily want to perform can benefit and enjoy it. If the kids are serious about performing, this is also the perfect summer activity because they are working with industry professionals, performing on stage, using their creativity and are under pressure to produce a show by the

Th end of just five days. The pressure is positive because it creates that electrical excitement and energy that makes theatre so magical. Can you describe a typical experience for the kids who come to the camp? The first thing that happens in a summer camp is that we all get to know each other through games. By the end of the first day – or even by lunchtime – all the kids have made new friends, and the wonderful thing about theatre is that you feel like you have known these friends for life because everyone feels expressive and relaxed. Their

confidence should build throughout the week because they are creating the show based on their ideas and every single child will have an idea that is incorporated, so they will feel a sense of achievement and pride. The skills they will learn are team work, dance, improvisation, comic timing, and stagecraft. Overall, the process has proved to be highly rewarding and quite unforgettable. Weekly from Jun 26 to Aug 25, DUCTAC, Mall Of The Emirates, Barsha, Dubai. Tel: (04) 341477 (ext 234). www.kidstheatreworks.com

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Egyptian artist Susan Hefuna has returned to The Third Line with a new solo show. What’s On takes a look inside

The Schedule

Not sure which art camp to pick? Here’s the low-down... Week one: Soaps & Bubbles Create your own TV show with crazy characters and storylines. Week two: Milkshakes & Musicals Live rock’n’roll music and Shakespeare are combined to create a musical in a 1950s diner. Week three: Shipwrecked! Kids land on a desert island and take over. Grown-ups strictly not allowed. Week four: Futuramadrama Invent your own characters and take them on a journey through time and space. Week five: Spooky Studio Want to star in your own horror flick live on stage? Be prepared to be scared...

Your new exhibition features sculptured ‘vessels’ in aluminium. Tell us about them The newest elements to my repertoire are the three-dimensional structures in aluminium. They are not ‘vessels’, but are similar to my drawings in the sense that they are connected: their creation and formation has all been conceived in one go. The lines and dots (also seen in the drawings) are all linked and form a maplike molecular structure. They reflect the

intricacies of my mind – as do the drawings – which is finding a way, a path, a route to the next destination, chapter, stage. Is there a meaning to them? They are related to the Mashrabiya screens, the gridded windows of ancient Islamic architecture that allowed for air circulation, filtered light into houses and protected women from public view but also allowed them to see the outside world. The Mashribiya has always been a symbol in my work – I have been working with them for over 16 years. It represents separation, yet at the same time it filters and brings together; exterior and interior voyeurism. Does your work represent the struggles of women in Egypt and elsewhere? My work does not represent the struggle but rather the strengths of women and culture which is created by women. For example my series of Mashrabiyas since 2004 have inscribed on them and are titled ‘Woman Cairo’ and the date. Just think of Om Kalthoum, she was a very powerful singer in her time and even now, in Egypt and around the world. If you had to sum up your current exhibition in three words, what would they be? Concentration (a high contemplative state of mind which I find myself in when drawing); Mapping (which is what is happening in my works); and Clarity (how I feel after completion of a piece, when my thoughts are then ‘visible’). Until Jun 16, Cairo Dreams, The Third Line, Al Quoz 3, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3411367. www. thethirdline.com

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Still dreaming

All aboard the Art Bus! Ok, ok, we’ve been banging on about this one for a while now, but if you haven’t done so already, we really must urge you to pay a visit to Abu Dhabi’s Manarat Al Saadiyat for Splendours of Mesopotamia, which pulls down its shutters for the last time at the end of this month. A journey through the creative birth of civilisation, Splendours... focuses on the three great centres of Mesopotamia as it was: Sumer, Assyria and Babylon. Featuring treasures on loan from the British Museum and Al Ain National Museum, this is once-in-a-lifetime stuff (or at least a taster for the Zayed National Museum, which this and forthcoming exhibitions on Saadiyat are a precursor for). And if you think not actually living in Abu Dhabi is an excuse not to visit, think again. On Thursday June 23, the Art Bus will be setting off for the capital for an evening of live music, poetry and workshops at the Artscape ‘Neo’ Babylon event. Book your ticket now. Dhs50. Tel: (04) 3417303. E-mail: info@atinthecity.com JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 67

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THE ART INSIDER

Five minutes with...

Syrian photographer Jaber Al Azmeh

Art historian, dedicated collector and managing director of Dubai’s Meem Gallery, Charles Pocock knows the UAE art scene like the back of a Picasso. Do you have an art question for Charles? E-mail: editor-wo@ motivate.ae This month sees the international art community jet into Venice for one of the biggest events on the 2011 art calendar – the 54th Biennale di Venezia. Critics, art connoisseurs, gallerists and tourists alike will briefly decamp to the northern Italian city to ogle, comment upon and criticise the numerous national pavilions. Follow my advice, and join them. Why? Well, the Venice Biennale is regarded internationally as the greatest of all art biennales, with numerous international pavilions displaying the talent emanating from various countries – in essence it is a cultural expo, with each country attempting to outdo the others. It will be thrilling. But, most importantly, this year the Middle East is heavily represented. Egypt’s show was cancelled, then brought back again, with Ahmed

Basiouny. Iraq is returning to the Biennale following an absence of 35 years with Adel Abidin, Halim Al Karim, Ahmed Al Soudani, Walid Siti, Ali Assaf and Azad Nanakeli. Turkey, Iran, Syria and the UAE returns with Saudi Arabia a new edition to the Middle Eastern line-up. We also have a pan-Arabic pavilion funded by the Jameel Group of Saudi Arabia and Abraaj Capital. Titled The Future Of Promise it will contain works by many leading names, such as Janane Al Ani, Mona Hatoum, Emily Jacir, Ayman Baalbaki and others. But, with Iraq, Turkey and The Future Of Promise being the exceptions, the other pavilions will feature heavily censored exhibitions, which is a real pity. By exhibiting artists that do not necessarily promote the true art scene of each country and the region, they are not presenting the best of what they have to offer. This is disappointing. Qatar, through Mathaf, has collected the best of modern and contemporary Arab art, presenting a credible body of work to an international audience. Why can’t the other GCC countries embrace pan-Arabism when it comes to culture and present the best the region has to offer, instead of exhibiting to the world what is in essence student work, especially on a stage such as the Venice Biennale?

Why do you show your work in pairs? There are two main components for each of the photographs; the human element and the time element. Initially I had no intention of presenting them in pairs, but then I found that this method would complement the duality of components. Moreover, there’s a connection between the two photographs in each pair, sometimes it is visual, other times it is conceptual. So presenting them as ‘duets’ would allow the viewer to enjoy discovering these connections. There’s a lot of tight focus in your images, revealing patterns in the subject matter almost to the point of abstraction. Is that a conscious choice? Obviously, I would say yes. Most artists like it when their work is over-analysed, although they might pretend otherwise. The truth is, I am still in love with painting and in my photography work I consistently seek to create a painting. When I was a fine arts student, it seemed unquestionable to me that I would become a painter… it hasn’t happened, but perhaps I still try through various means. Your images rarely contain people yet you call them ‘portraits’ – why? Because when I look at these photos what I really want to see in front of this wall or behind that door is the people who passed by, the people who created or who were present in the scene. It could be a short, dark man, or a young woman getting on a train anticipating a reunion… it is a collection of short stories and portraits of their characters. Describe your work in three words Simple in form Until Jul 16. Traces, Green Art Gallery, Unit 28, Street 8, Al Serkal Avenue, Al Quoz, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3469305. www.gagallery.com

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Skills set Fancy getting your head around a creative computer package such as Adobe Illustrator or learning how to make a collage? These are just two of the recent courses on offer at Taskkeel’s Ned Al Sheba space. With a regular roster of contemporary art exhibitions alongside well-equipped studio space and discount for members, Tashkeel remains one of Dubai’s best-kept creative secrets. We suggest you get onboard and discover it for yourself today. Nad Al Sheba, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3363313. www.tashkeel.org

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Five to see

ÅUAE: A WORK OF ART

Another new entrant on the UAE’s art scene, this summer exhibition from Ara Gallery is dedicated to showcasing Emirati artists and their work, inspired by the United Arab Emirates. Jun 7 to Aug 31, Burj Plaza, Emar Boulevard, Downtown, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4542784. www.thearagallery.ae

ÅTHROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

Rather more like peering through the dense, ever-changing patterns of a kaleidoscope than a looking glass, Mouteea Murad’s rich geometric abstractions, deeply rooted in Islamic culture and aesthetic traditions as they are, are a joy. Until Jun 16, Ayyam Gallery DIFC, Building 3, Gate Village, DIFC, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4392395. www.ayyamgallery.com Sharjah’s Bajeel Art Foundation’s vast private collection continues to impress in this group exhibition that aims to delve into how modern Arabs are both represented and projected in our busy, 24/7 communication world. Until Jul 31, Barjeel Art Foundation, Level 2, Maraya Art Centre, Al Qasba, Al Taawun Road, Sharjah. Tel: (06) 5566555. www. barjeelartfoundation.com

ÑRECENT WORKS

Iranian painter Shahriar Ahmadi confirms Dubai’s new Etemad gallery as one to watch. Large, brightly-coloured canvases merge the ancient and the sacred with the modern – all that green, for example, is a nod to recent developments in Iran. Until Jun 11, Etemad Dubai, Unit B 12, Street 8, Al Serkal Avenue, Al Quoz, Dubai. www.galleryetemad. com

ÅRECONNECTING EAST AND WEST

Past and present connect in this fascinating exhibition that documents Islamic ornament and design by European scholars in the 19th century. Jun 18 to Jul 18, DUCTAC, Mall Of The Emirates, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3414777. www.ductac.org

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Carved magnesite statue of Ashurnasirpal II on reddish dolomite stand. From Nimrud, Ishtar Sharrat-nihi temple, 883-859 BCE. © The Trustees of the British Museum.

ÉSTRIKE OPPOSE

Under the patronage of His Highness General Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and Deputy Supreme Commander of the UAE Armed Forces

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Carved magnesite statue of Ashurnasirpal II on reddish dolomite stand. From Nimrud, Ishtar Sharrat-nihi temple, 883-859 BCE. ÂŠ The Trustees of the British Museum.

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TDIC presents Splendours of Mesopotamia Manarat Al Saadiyat, Abu Dhabi artsabudhabi.ae

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p74 Who’s your daddy? p76 Sophia says... p78 New openings

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SHOPPING

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Who’s your daddy? Whether your dad is the traditional pipe and slippers type, or a more young and trendy specimen, we’ve found the essential gifts to make his day

OLD SCHOOL DAD

Hats off

He might want to keep cool in the summer, or just hide that bald spot, but your dad should do it in style with this Panama hat instead of a handkerchief. Reiss, The Dubai Mall, Dubai, Dhs250. Tel: (04) 4340720

Perfe futu phon answ phon Dhs5

Off the cuff

A must-have for any man’s wardrobe, these chinos are an absolute bargain, and have a modern cuff to drag him up to date. New Look, Deira City Centre, Deira, Dubai, Dhs149. Tel: (04) 2952741

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Time travel

This traditional-style suitcase will please your post-war padre no end, but the modern technology and sharp structure will last him for years. Harvey Nichols, Mall Of The Emirates, Barsha, Dubai, Dhs2,100. Tel: (04) 4098888

Tie land

Cliché? Yes. For good reason? Without a doubt. A luxurious twist on the predictable gift, these Bulgari ties are made from 100 per cent jacquard silk and will add a touch of elegance to any suit. Bloomingdale’s, The Dubai Mall, Dubai, Dhs1,550. Tel: (04) 3505333

All that glitters

Handmade silver ashtrays don’t come cheap, but then neither did raising you, so it’s time to show your dad the love with this future heirloom from Patrick Mavros. Dhs6,000. www.patrickmavros. com

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DATE FOR THE DIARY: FATHER’S DAY JUNE 19

Playlist The pick of this month’s new releases DVD TRUE GRIT (Paramount)

The Coen brothers’ remake of the classic John Wayne-led Western sees Jeff Bridges take the starring role as the growling US Marshall Rooster Cogburn. Ably supported by an excellent cast of Matt Damon and first-timer Haliee Steinfeld, Bridges excels as the gruff sheriff on the trail of a gang of murderous outlaws. Out now

NU RAVE DAD Cool calls

Perfectly blending retro and futuristic, the Sagemcom Sixties phone has a wireless set, built-in answer machine and a 15-number phonebook. Dhs550. www.sagemcomdigital.com

ALBUM ROME – DANGER MOUSE & DANIELE LUPPI (Capitol)

May the force…

US super-producer Danger Mouse (Gnarls Barkley, Gorillaz) and Italian composer Daniele Luppi take a modern brush to a spaghetti western theme here, reassembling original players from scores such as The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. Two cameos add the intriguing contemporary twist: The White Stripes' leader Jack White versus nice-but-dull songstress Norah Jones. Out now

Tap into his late-70s self with these R2-D2 headphones. They fold, have a built-in mic, and even a remote to control his tunes. Geek chic at its best. Dhs400. www.firebox.com

Street chic

He’ll be doubly cool with these CC Ride trainers from Adidas, which are designed with summer in mind, featuring climate control material and 360 degree ventilation. Adidas, The Dubai Mall, Dubai, Dhs495. Tel: (04) 4340603

GAME LA NOIRE

(Rockstar on PS3)

In the shade

Essential to any man’s summer, sunglasses are worth spending that little bit more on when you live in the UAE, and Burberry’s new foldable style comes in a rainbow of colours. Just remind him to maintain some fatherly dignity and take them off at night. Burberry, The Dubai Mall, Dubai, Dhs1,180. Tel: (04) 3398357

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SHOPPING

Rockstar Games’ eagerly anticipated LA Noire was worth the wait. Immersive, atmospheric and heavily reliant on psychology, this part adventure, part murder mystery conjures up images of James Ellroy’s Black Dahlia. Jointly developed with Australia’s Team Bondi, the setting is Los Angeles, 1947, with players taking the role of LAPD officer Cole Phelps as he attempts to solve a series of murder mysteries. Not your average adventure game, it combines crime solving with gunplay, car chases and fist fights in a free roaming environment. Impressive motion capture means a character’s expression can help you judge whether they are lying or not, while flashbacks, music and various side missions contribute to what is ultimately a superior video gaming experience. Out now

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SOPHIA SAYS...

Do you have a fashion question for Sophia? E-mail: editor-wo@motivate.ae

We drag the oh-so stylish Sophia Serin away from the helm at Emirates Woman into the grubby What’s On office to answer your wardrobe woes

What's hot in swimwear at the moment? Any colours or styles I should be looking out for? Sarah, Dubai Swimwear has taken an ultra girly turn this summer, so look to feminine ginghams, lace and polka dots. As always, the bikini is back – smaller and sexier than ever. If you want to go luxe with your swimmers this season, the brand of choice is Beach Bunny (pictured). With a selection to suit every body shape (and perfect for UAE pool parties) you will find yourself dressing up for the beach and feeling great about it. Beach Bunny swimwear is available at Rodeo Drive stores in Jumeirah Beach Hotel, Atlantis, Burj Al Arab, Souk Madinat Jumeirah, Emirates Palace, BurJuman and Via Rodeo.

I'm buying my first custom-made shirt – what's your take on having monograms stitched onto cuffs? I like it, but my wife isn't a fan. Shadi, Abu Dhabi Do it. There is nothing nicer than a monogrammed shirt on a man, but buyer beware – there are some rules. You should only get your cuff monogrammed if there is no French cuff and no pocket on your shirt AND it should be on your right wrist. If you fancy getting a ‘smart’ shirt made with a French cuff, the monogram should sit on the left side on your last rib. Whatever you do, don’t forget to finish off your outfit with a pair of chic cufflinks. Shirts and cufflinks by Eton Shirts www. etonshirts.co.uk Colour blocking is all the rage, but I find some of the brighter colours really draining. I'm a pale brunette – what shades will suit me? Ellen, Sharjah Fear not. This trend is a tough one to master, but does suit all skin types. If you are on the paler side, opt for rich blues and greens; these will also look great with your dark locks. If your skin is darker, then knock yourself out with all the pinks, reds and oranges your wardrobe desires.

I'm getting married in September and would love to find a dress as stunning as the McQueen gown the Duchess Of Cambridge wore. Which are the best bridal boutiques in the UAE? Rima, Dubai There are a few boutiques in the UAE, but if you are looking for something similar (and as spectacular) to the Duchess Of Cambridge, you need to go couture – enter Rami Al Ali Couture. Located on Al Wasl Road in Dubai, Mr Al Ali is the master of the wedding gown and will tailor a bespoke dress for your big day. Villa 697, Al Wasl, Road Jumeirah, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3945607. www.ramialiali.com

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Images Gucci

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SHOPPING

The New openings bookworm More pages to turn from our bespectacled buddy GREAT HOUSE Nicole Krauss

Stories within stories can often be confusing – thankfully not in Great House. Shortlisted for the 2011 Orange Prize, this excellent book from the award-winning author Nicole Krauss (The History Of Love) follows several characters, all intrinsically linked to a wooden desk. The connections between the characters and the desk are carefully crafted, and a delight to pick out.

COSIMA WAGNER

Oliver Hilmes

This is an enlightening look at the wife of the celebrated composer Richard Wagner. Not everyone’s favourite composer, due to his unpleasant opinions, it is fair to say there is a glaring lack of decent human beings in this book. Translated into English by Stewart Spencer, the book tells how Cosima took control of the famous Bayreuth Festival, now a magnet for Wagner devotees. Hilmes’ novel, however, also delves into controversy as he establishes Cosima as the link between Adolf Hitler and Richard Wagner.

THE SONGS OF MANOLO ESCOBAR Carlos Alba

Beautifully framed and worded by Carlos Alba, this moving novel follows Antonio Noguera, a man struggling with a midlife crisis. Occasionally humorous, this story is based on a concept well used in modern fiction. But it's the father-son relationship that makes it worth reading. Available from Magrudy’s, Borders, Jashanmal and Kinokuniya

The latest places to open their doors to the purchasing public Bell & Ross Despite the English name and the Swiss head designers, watchmakers Bell & Ross is actually a proudly French company. Its recently opened boutique in BurJuman sees it wading into the competitive UAE highend watch marketplace all guns blazing. BurJuman Mall, Bur Dubai, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3594115. www.bellross.com Blue Glue Summer is well and truly upon us, so it’s the perfect time for bikini specialists Blue Glue to open its first store in the UAE. With stacks of Parisian-designed swimsuits, there are enough colours and styles on the racks to last the whole summer. Mercato Mall, Jumeriah, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3448633. www.blue-glue.com

parents or broody couples. Al Safa Park Interchange, Sheikh Zayed Road. Tel: (04) 3466050. www.justkidding-me.com

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Blissland Set up by sisterly duo Heema and Janvi, Blissland is the latest interior showroom to pop up in Al Barsha. The homely décor shows a heavy Balinese influence, with sourced materials and furniture from all across Asia on sale. Exotic and surprisingly affordable, this is the store for you if you’re sick of the laminate, cookie-cutter styles that everyone has in their homes. Umm Suqeim Road, Barsha, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3409118

JustKidding You should never take shortcuts when it comes to your kids – this adage holds true at JustKidding’s newly opened flagship store. There are over 55 international brands in everything from strollers to clothing to car seats, making it a one-stop shop for all new

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Totally tropical Take a trip around the world, from the comfort of the massage table

What? Hijama Country of origin? Egypt Where can I try it? Cleopatra Spa at Wafi What does it involve? Brace yourselves, this doesn’t sound like one for the faint-hearted, but hear us out. Hijama is an ancient practice that started in Egypt before catching on in Greece and the rest of the Middle East. A few years ago you might remember Gwyneth Paltrow walking the red carpet in a dress that showed off what looked like sucker marks all over her back, and extolling the virtues of a detox treatment she’d tried – and thus ‘cupping’ was all over magazines. Hijama is a more extreme version where a doctor places plastic cups on troubled areas (in our case, knees and shoulders), creates a vacuum in the cup using a pump, removes it and then cuts the skin with the tip of a scalpel, to create tiny incisions, then replaces the cup until the bloodflow subsides. After a few minutes the ‘dirty’ blood will be released, which is darker and thicker than healthy blood – almost jelly-like. Told you it wasn’t for the squeamish. However, you don’t need to see the blood if you don’t want to, and it’s not painful. Dr Benazir Quraishi treats patients with a diverse range of complaints, from back pain to fertility, but hijama is often used to strengthen the immune system, help with sleep patterns and create a feeling of well-being. Does it work? We left swathed in gauze and medical tape, with instructions to take it easy, not shower until the next morning, avoid alcohol and red meat, and go home for a glass of antioxidant cranberry or pomegranate juice. After an afternoon of feeling a bit down, an early night later we woke feeling clearheaded with none of the usual shoulder pain. Quite strange. Depending on how ‘toxic’ or congested your body is, the circular marks on your back may be quite dark and can last for up to a week. Needless to say, ours were a purplish hue for a few days, but the results were worth the temporary war wounds. Details: Cleopatra Spa, Pyramids Building, Wafi, Oud Metha, Dubai, Dhs485 for 45 mins. Tel: (04) 3240000

NEXT MONTH TURKEY AND BRAZIL

CMY

What? Classic hammam Country of origin? Morocco Where can I try it? ESPA at Yas Hotel What does it involve? The hammam was inspired by Roman baths, but after a cleansing footbath, it’s clear this is a little more civilised than gorillas-in-the-mist images of hairy, half-naked men. Strolling into the main hammam room – there are two at ESPA – is akin to entering an oversized steam room. The humidity is initially overpowering, and for the first five minutes simply regulating breathing is about all you can concentrate on. Quick warning: with the constant rushing sound of water a pre-treatment bathroom break is advisable. Hindsight is a wonderful thing… The black marble table visible through the vapour is your soon-to-be-soggy base. As a bathing-centric treatment, hammam is based around dousing you in piping hot water (shedloads of it) and vigorous scrubbing, using Les Sens de Marrakech black soap and an exfoliating glove. Drifting off is never an option: the marble slab only comes with a towel for cushioning and condensation from the ceiling will splatter down and make you spasm when you least expect it. Does it work? Without a doubt. Our exterior was still radiant days later, with dry skin banished. It’s more effective at cleansing than easing your aches, but for relaxation and squeaky skin, this is a traditional treatment that stands up to modern standards. Details: ESPA at Yas Hotel, Abu Dhabi, Dhs345 for an hour plus, until August 31, a free one-hour facial. Tel: (02) 6560862. www. theyashotel.com

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Our pampered pair check out the new spa menu at The Fairmont

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THE TIME TRAVELLER’S MASSAGE

DUBAI MUSCLE MELT

TALK US THROUGH IT It’s a deep tissue massage, so you’ll be advised to enjoy a steam and a warm shower beforehand. Then, after the application of ginger and black pepper essential oils to loosen you up, your muscles receive a proper pummeling.

SLEEP FACTOR? About as much chance as Rocky had during his fight with Ivan Drago in Rocky IV. That’s zero. Zilch. Nada. Not a sausage.

THE BEST BIT My therapist, Louie, added five minutes of intensive stretches to the end of the treatment, which was a nice touch. Turns out I really needed them. Now that’s personalised service.

WHO SHOULD GET INVOLVED? No wimps should go anywhere near the muscle melt; it’s for sporty types with a high pain threshold who want their muscles pounded into submission.

ANY AWKWARD MOMENTS? Being tactfully told that my original treatment choice, the Citrus Detox Reviver, was really for girls.

HOW MUCH AND HOW LONG? On the expensive side at Dhs420 for 50 minutes.

HOW WERE THE DISPOSABLE PANTS? Loose fitting net briefs. Not too tight, but with plenty of support, once on I didn’t notice them at all.

TALK US THROUGH IT Designed for time zone hoppers, this massage starts with body brushing to get the blood pumping and inhalation of eucalyptus to clear the airways, then an invigorating massage with juniper and grapefruit oils to wake you up and re-set the body clock. THE BEST BIT After an overnight flight my spine was all crunched up, so the gentle stretches and pressure point massage sorted me out no end. ANY AWKWARD MOMENTS? They really need to get some signs – I nearly stumbled into reception in my dressing gown when looking for the relaxation lounge.

HOW WERE THE DISPOSABLE PANTS? Stretchy and very comfy indeed. Almost wore them home. SLEEP FACTOR? Minimal. Between the thigh pummelling and energising oils you’ll leave bright eyed and bushy tailed, but if you’re truly tired you could sneak a snooze during the head massage. WHO SHOULD GET INVOLVED? Frequent flyers and people who’ve been burning the candle at both ends. Most residents of the UAE, really. HOW MUCH AND HOW LONG? Not cheap at Dhs550 for 80 minutes. About the same as flight on Air Arabia. The Spa, Fairmont Dubai, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3118800. www.fairmont. com/dubai JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 85

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Wax works

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It’s not just for setting a romantic mood and keeping your mini Babybels fresh, wax is increasingly being used in spas for its skin-softening properties. We put two treatments to the test

“At one point we were fairly sure, through the towel over our eyes, that we were being straddled by our diminutive male therapist ”

The Paraffin Therapy Pedicure

Candle massage THE SALES PITCH

When it comes to ultimate THE SALES PITCH wax sets and then the therapist relaxation, the idea of having hot Hot paraffin adds that extra peels it off in a very pleasing wax poured all over your body element (no, not terror) to your manner, which might invoke a probably isn’t the most enticing nail treatment, with feet dipped flashback to peeling glue off your prospect we could list. Unless into the liquid wax, which is hand in art lessons. The pedicure you’re a particularly self-punishing blended with essential oils, to then resumes with a polish. candle user, it sounds better suited moisturise hard or cracked skin. to a gangster movie torture scene. THE VERDICT Never fear, though, because Man/ THE THERAPY The therapist promised this Age’s massage doesn’t use any Your pedicure starts much the treatment helps with calluses old candlestick. Instead you’re same as any other, with clipping, (sadly callousness isn’t treatable at slathered with the heated residue exfoliating, rubbing and the like. The Nail Spa) and, while it took of a massage oil candle created Then the wax arrives, in something longer than your usual pedicure at by skincare specialists Yon-Ka, that looks like a toaster, and your around 80 minutes, the time was chock full with anti-oxidants, antitootsies are briefly submerged well spent. We left the spa with the aging ingredients and more. Our three times to coat them. Fear not, feet of a painted newborn. therapist’s English was patchy, but it isn’t as hot as it looks. Your feet The Nail Spa, Mercato Mall, Beach we can tell you that it’s designed are then wrapped in cling film and Road, Jumeirah, Dubai. Tel: (04) to encourage ‘a perfect meditative popped into toweling booties, the 3497766. www.thenailspa.com state of relaxation’.

THE TREATMENT

After a rousing round of inhaling the oil’s vapour from our therapist’s hands, warm waxy oil was incrementally poured all over our back, legs, arms and chest, then

vigorously massaged in. Thankfully, the initial heat subsided almost instantly, leaving only pleasing warmth. The candlelit atmosphere turned the vibe a touch ‘romantic dinner’ and at one point we were fairly sure, through the towel over our eyes, that we were being pretty much straddled by our diminutive male therapist. But there’s no denying that the hot oil melted away our aches for an hour, even if we didn’t quite reach a higher meditative plain.

THE VERDICT

Still coated in a fine layer of wax, we leave feeling a little like a Madame Tussauds model, glassy stare included. This is a good treatment for the evening, when you can return home to your sofa – it’s far too relaxing for a lunchtime appointment. Man/Age, Arjaan by Rotana Dubai, Dubai Media City, Dubai, 10am to 10pm, Dhs350 for an hour, Dhs120 for 30 minutes. Tel: (04) 4370868

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Spa deals The best beauty bargains on offer this month THE NAIL SPA Bin the ballet flats and get the flip-flops out – it’s officially summer. To get you ready, The Nail Spa is offering 20 per cent off its Summer Beauty Indulgence package (now Dhs535), which includes a signature facial using Heaven by Deborah Mitchell products to cleanse, exfoliate, massage and moisturise, followed by a vitamin C ‘hand facial’ and manicure, topped off with a cocoon therapy pedicure to make sure your tootsies are ready to be revealed. The Nail Spa, various branches, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3399078. www.thenailspa.com

REBECCA TRESTON AESTHETICS If you’ve ever wanted to know more about slimming treatments, laser hair removal and wrinkle reduction but didn’t want to commit to a treatment then mark June 15 in your diary. Skincare expert Rebecca Treston is hosting a free open day at her clinic from 10am to 1pm, where she’ll demonstrate various techniques, answer questions and hand out goodie bags containing samples and vouchers for free sessions. Guests will also be able to book treatments on the day, with extra discounts. Booking is essential and places will be allocated on a first come, first served basis. Rebecca Treston Aesthetics, Euromed Clinic, Beach Road, Al Manara, Dubai, 10am to 1pm, free. Tel: (04) 3945422 SENSO SPA If you’ve been burnt at the beach, then a trip to Senso might be in order. The After Sun Solution package includes full body exfoliation, clay and oil masque to quench sensitive skin, massage, and an Extreme Moisture Phyto-aromatic facial designed for dry, sun-damage skin, plus access to the spa’s steam rooms and pool, for Dhs600. Senso, Radisson Blu Media City, Media City, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4369111

TIMELESS SPA Escape to the land of luxury with Al Maha’s spa special. The Summer Indulgence package (Dhs1,200) includes a 60-minute treatment of your choice at Timeless Spa, access to the main pool, sauna, steam and Jacuzzi, plus lunch at Al Diwaan, the resort’s signature restaurant. With treatments such as the Energy Reviver, Ancient Rasoul Ritual, After Sun Soother and Deep Tissue Massage on offer, you’re guaranteed to find something to cure your ails or suit your mood. Timeless Spa, Al Maha Desert Resort & Spa, Dubai Desert Conservation, Dubai. Tel: (04) 8329900. www.al-maha.com SATORI SPA Head into the dunes for some peace and quiet at Bab Al Shams. Until the end of August, the resort’s Satori Spa is offering a Special Summer Retreat package (Dhs590) that includes a 50-minute body massage, two-course lunch, yoga session, access to the pool and spa facilities, plus lawn games, camel rides, volley ball and falcon show. Bab Al Shams Desert Resort & Spa, near Endurance City, Dubai. Tel: (04) 8096232 AL ASALLA SPA Another hammam for you, this time at the Dubai Ladies’ Club spa. Performed on a warm marble slab in a room filled with eucalyptus steam, you’ll be scrubbed using Moroccan black soap, and during June guests receive a free purifying, hydrating or brightening body mask. The treatment costs Dhs240 for members or Dhs280 for nonmembers, takes 55 minutes, and also includes use of the wet area facilities including 'experience' showers, sauna with light therapy, plus a whirlpool. Al Asalla Spa, Dubai Ladies Club, Beach Road, Jumeirah, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3449445

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SPORT & OUTDOOR Let’s face it – John Wayne was cool. I can be that cool. That’s what Team What’s On told me before they packed me off to the Al Ahli Horse Riding Club, and told me not to come back until I was a fully-fledged cowboy. GETTING STARTED Awaiting me in the riding school is Magico, my new four-legged friend. I am told that he is the schoolmaster and, despite his impressive look, his calm demeanour rubs off on me very quickly. My instructor, Mari, demonstrates the process of mounting the horse, and once I’m on she helps correct my saddle positioning and posture. And just like that… I’m off. HOT TO TROT After a few minutes riding, I start getting ahead of myself. I am a natural! Magico and I are kindred spirits – watch as we move effortlessly together, like Torvill and Dean, but with bigger teeth and a tail (the horse, that is). Olympics here we come! Then comes the trot. Mari instructs me to kick the horse with my heels and, reassuring me that it won’t hurt, Magico springs into life. Mari puts me through my paces, doing exercises in how to rise up and down on the saddle in rhythm.

MATT Every month we’ll be sending our intrepid, albeit slightly nervous, features writer Matt to brave whatever adventures we deem fun and/or silly enough to make us laugh. This month, Matt tackles…

Horse riding

BUILDING CONFIDENCE Anyone can climb into a saddle, but being in full control of the horse, and yourself, comes from practice, and that is the most important thing to master before moving on. Magico seems to be on his best behaviour – although it does take time for me to iron out my balance issues and build up my confidence transitioning from walking to trotting. PROGRESSING TO A CANTER The lessons are divided into six levels of difficulty, ranging from red (beginners) to white (competition ready). My goal for the second block of lessons was to achieve yellow, but to do that I would have to learn to canter. My new instructor, Samantha, talks me through preparing the horse to ride, or ‘tacking up’, and from there it’s into the bigger arena. Given more space, I quickly learn how to manoeuver round sharp bends and ‘change the reins’ (direction). Finally, the moment that I have been nervous about from the very beginning – the canter. But, after a brief struggle, I complete my mission with relative ease. VERDICT So maybe ‘fully-fledged’ was a bit ambitious – but having only been on a horse once before (I was swiftly unseated), my sessions gave me a solid base of knowledge and the confidence needed to ride. Yeehaw! Al Ahli Horse Riding Club, Amman Street, Dubai, Dhs150 per lesson. Tel: (04) 2988408. www. alahliclub.info JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 91

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MR FITNESS In his seven years as a personal trainer, James Houghton has helped everyone from West End actresses to the Arabian Gulf rugby sevens team lose the pounds and keep in shape

THERT! E EXP

Do you have a fitness question for James? E-mail: editor-wo@motivate.ae

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I’m 16 and I want to start lifting weights, but apparently it can stunt my growth – is that true? Jerry, Bur Dubai In my opinion, if you’re 16 years old and want to train with resistance and weight you should not be worried about stunting your growth. I would, however, look to start by mastering movements that involve using your own bodyweight – push ups, split squats, pull-ups, squats etc, with guidance from someone who knows what they are talking about, not one of your mates who thinks he knows. Once they are mastered, then you can look at adding in external load. The best thing about being the age you are is that your hormones are on your side. Your body will be flowing with testosterone and pretty much primed for anabolism – you are in a natural state of growth, so why not make the most of it. And I don’t want to hear you’re just doing chest and guns! I love tea and drink about five cups a day. Is this too much? Sunita, Dubai Marina If we were talking tea with milk and sugar, then I would definitely say that you are drinking too much. Sugar and the lactose in the milk have negative effects on the body. On the whole, though, drinking five cups of herbal, green or black tea shouldn’t result in any adverse effects on your body.

Can you settle an argument – my friend says horse riding is a great way to get fit and toned, but I say not, as you don’t even move your legs like you do when cycling. Who’s right? Suhas, Jumeirah It depends how you define fit and toned. Yes, the way in which the muscles are used in cycling are different to that of riding a horse but, again, it depends upon what type of horse riding you are doing – dressage, showing, cross country, polo, show jumping, hacking, flat racing… I’d like you to find me a top jockey that isn’t ‘fit’. People who ride horses are fit for the purpose of riding a horse, I wouldn’t necessarily expect them to be able to go out and run a marathon or get up on stage in a figure competition. Equally, a cyclist may be able to go out and cycle 100km, but I wouldn’t expect them to be able to play a game of squash or rugby sevens. What many people seem to miss is the fact that you need to train for the game you are playing. The bottom line is, anything that keeps you active will go someway towards being ‘fit, healthy and toned’ – so I’m going to go with your friend, sorry!

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NEEDS YOU! WANT 12 WEEKS OF FREE FITNESS WITH URBAN ENERGY? WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT AND HAVE FUN EVERY TUESDAY EVENING?

We’re forming a team of What’s On readers and staffers to take on Dubai 92 and its listeners – and with your help we’re going to win. Starting in mid-July, Team What’s On will be working out with a trainer once a week until the end of September. The competition involves an initial assessment and weigh-in, discounted classes with Urban Energy throughout the 12 weeks and then a final fitness test and team weigh-in to find out how many kilos we lost as a team. There will be prizes throughout for weight-loss, attendance and attitude. We’re looking for people of all ages and fitness levels to join us – the winners will be the team that has improved the most. Fun, free fitness – with some healthy competition, too...

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WANT TO JOIN TEAM WHAT’S ON?

VISIT WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSONDUBAI TO FIND OUT MORE

There are some smashing summer golf deals on offer this month – here’s our top three SUMMER SWING This summer golf lovers can have full use of equipment to go with unlimited access to The Dubai Creek Golf Club’s floodlit driving range, par three course and the short game areas for just Dhs695 a month or Dhs1,950 for a four-month stint. Dubai Creek Golf Club, Dubai Creek Golf & Yacht Club, Deira, Dubai. Tel: (04) 2956000. www.dubaigolf.com GOLF & DINNER AT AL BADIA The Al Badia Golf Course at DFC has put together a tempting offer with 18 holes of golf and an a la carte dinner at Spikes restaurant, all for a not too shabby Dhs299. Par for the course. Al Badia Golf Club, InterContinental Dubai Festival City, Dubai. Tel: (04) 6010101. www. albadiagolfclub.ae LESSONS IN THE OFF SEASON The Academy at the Emirates Gold Club has a selection of summer lessons tailored to all skill levels. The promotions range from a Gold Pass, which includes eight lessons, unlimited use of the driving range, and access to the gym for Dhs2,400, to individual lessons for Dhs210. The Academy, Emirates Golf Club, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3802222 JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 93

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MUSIC

Sandwash

The

To Mars, Nickelback and Maximo Park, and won a legion of fans following the 2010 release of studio album Master Blaster. Performing across the Emirates, often with local metal movement heroes Metal Asylum, Mike, Pavel, Jason and Kris’ boundless energy, big personalities and obvious passion for their music makes them serious contenders to be the next regional band to conquer the international airwaves. www.myspace.com/sandwash

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You might not be familiar with the term ‘groovecore’, but it’s the sound local band Sandwash are championing; upbeat rock, sing-along melodies, classic riffs and, well, a bit of groove. The result is US-style post-punk rock. Still confused? Let’s just say that if you like music that you can have a headbang to, then sweetly sing the chorus, you’ll like Sandwash. Formed in 2004, the band has appeared on UAE radio, TV, supported the likes of 30 Seconds

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Three to see

The pick of local live music this month

Musolicious Music Festival We live for giving love to the local music scene. If getting behind some up-and-coming local bands is your bag too (and it should be), then make sure you get along to the Musolicious Music Festival. The line-up boasts nine bands across two stages, including Dubai-based punk-rockers Grand Hotel Paradox before they to jet off to tour south-east Asia. Jun 10, The Ballroom, Excelsior Creek Hotel, Bur Dubai, Dubai, Dhs50, 6pm to 1am. Tel: (050) 4539727 www.excelsiorcreekhotel.com

SHOT ON LOCATION AT SODA BOX, THE PULLMAN DUBAI

Amir Mafakher The UAE is a mishmash of cultures at the best of times, but even here it’s not everyday that you come across an Iranian flamenco guitarist. The awardwinning Amir Mafakher and his guitar will be gracing The Fridge’s stage, as it continues with its Summer Concert Series, for one night only. Playing music from flamenco greats such as Gerardo Nunez and Pack de Lucia, it’s a must-see show. Jun 6, The Fridge, Al Quoz, Dubai. Dhs50, free for under-18s, 7.30pm. Tel: (04) 3477793. www. thefridgedubai.com

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Sofitel celebrates The Fête de la Musique The annual French festival La Fête de la Musique is celebrated all over the world, and here is no different. Filled with as much wine and cheese you can stomach, the Plantation lounge at the Sofitel Dubai Jumeirah Beach is hosting a night of live music to welcome the official start of the summer. Cheese, wine and live music? Count us in. Jun 22, Plantation lounge, Sofitel Dubai Jumeirah Beach, Dubai, Dhs150, 7pm. Tel: (04) 4484873 JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 95

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CLUB DIARY This month's clubbing highlights

Jamrock @ Sublime Lounge WEEKLY

Bamboo Selekta and DJ Brooklyn drop the best in urban and Caribbean hits, with added carnival dancers. Ibis World Trade Centre, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, 9pm to 3am, Dhs100, ladies free before midnight. Tel: (04) 3324444. www.ibishotel.com

Italoboyz @ Ill Communications Techno, house and minimal from Italiansin-London duo Marco Donato and Federico Marton. Trilogy, Madinat Jumeirah, Dubai, 10pm to 3am, Dhs100 to Dhs130, ladies free until 11pm. Tel: (050) 7258277. www.italoboyz.com

Joya @ Jebel Ali Golf Resort & Spa WEEKLY

DJs Lady Red Label, Trix and Sabrina Terence get the party started, alongside watersports, rodeo bull rides, shisha lounge and a fashion show. Jebel Ali Golf Resort & Spa, Jebel Ali, Dubai, 2pm to midnight, Dhs100, free for ladies. Tel: (050) 8740980. www.joyabeach.com Residents @ Audio Tonic Mr Mr, Vas Floyd and Raxon guide you through the penultimate edition of Audio Tonic’s fifth season at 360º. 360º, Jumeirah Beach Hotel, Dubai. 4pm to 2am, free. Tel: (050) 1076405. www.myspace. com/audiotonic Pool Party @ Barasti WEEKLY

Marty Metcalf and DJ Vanilla are on the ones and twos at Barasti’s chilled weekend doubleheader. Half price drinks from 2pm to 9pm. Le Méridien Mina Seyahi Beach Resort & Marina, Al Sufouh Road, Dubai, 11am to late, free. Tel: (04) 3181313. www.lemeridien-minaseyahi.com

2 Turn Me Loose A fresh night from respected faces on the Dubai clubbing scene, Turn Me Loose is only two nights old but already packing in the crowds. Tristan Bain, who provides the quality house sounds alongside Rich Showell and Ray Burst, explains more.

What was the inspiration for setting up Turn Me Loose? Myself, Rich and Ray quickly identified soon after meeting each other that we have very similar tastes, ranging from soul and disco to quality house music. So when 360º ended up with a free Thursday each month we asked if we could put on a party. Being resident for other nights at 360º gave me an insight into what we needed to do. What does TML offer versus other nights in Dubai? Musically we start off on a soulful funky disco vibe, which progresses into a groovier house sound and keeps getting sexier. Although we bill it as forward thinking, with music you will not hear elsewhere, it’s still very accessible to people who might be used to the more commercial side of Dubai. And where did the name come from? Turn Me Loose evolved from firing 873,000 e-mails back and forth about whatever random thoughts we all had for naming the night. Turn Me Loose was the first suggestion that grabbed all our attentions. ‘Loose’ has connotations of freedom and fun without restraint, which musically gives us scope to move within genres, and ‘Turn’ fits in with the 360º circular vibe.

Armin Van Buuren @ Flash Forum

Residents @ MustHaveSoul Conan Liquid, Dan Chadwick and Tristan Bain wind down MHS’s season. 360º, Jumeirah Beach Hotel, Dubai. 4pm to 2am (guest list only 4pm to 8pm), free. Tel: (055) 6160643. www.musthavesoul.com

The Ultimate Ladies Night @ Cinnabar WEEKLY

House, electro and club classics from Greg Stanier, DJ Georgeos and Simon B at this new extension of Zinc in Dubai’s successful ladies night. Hilton Abu Dhabi, near Corniche Road, Abu Dhabi, 10pm to 3.30am, Dhs50, ladies free. Tel: (050) 7495512. www.hilton.com

10 The crowds have been so large that you've already been turning people away. It must be nice to have an instant success on your hands? The first event was insane. Security told us there hadn’t been queues like that in three and a half years. We spent the night with silly grins on our faces, telling each other how nuts it was. It really isn't about numbers for us though. The overriding thing is that we want to create a party with lots of smiling faces and dancing feet, all to an incredible soundtrack. 360º, Jumeirah Beach Hotel, Dubai. 5pm to 2am, free. Tel: (050) 5523496. www.soundcloud.com/tristanbain

Amnesia @ Relax@12 Smokingroove fire up their pioneering house sounds. Aloft, Abu Dhabi National Exhibition Centre, Abu Dhabi, 8pm to midnight, Dhs130 with unlimited house beverages. Tel: (02) 6545138. www.relaxat12.com Season Closing Party @ Audio Tonic All the residents return to celebrate Audio Tonic’s successful season, with tunes from Mr Mr, Vas Floyd, Raxon, Julian Jinx and JC. See you in September. 360º, Jumeirah Beach Hotel, Dubai. 4pm to 2am, free. Tel: (050) 1076405. www.myspace. com/audiotonic UAE DJs Battle @ Allure The very best in the Emirates’ deck-spinning talent go stylus to stylus. The gloves come off and the tunes go on. Allure by Cipriani, Yas Island Yacht Club, Yas Island, Abu Dhabi, 10pm to late, Dhs100. Tel: (02) 6575400. www.nightcluballure.com

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Season Closing Party @ MustHaveSoul Giveaways and drinks deals at the final MHS before their summer break. 360º, Jumeirah Beach Hotel, Dubai. 4pm to 2am (guest list only 4pm to 8pm), free. Tel: (055) 6160643. www.musthavesoul.com

Caspa @ Ill Communications British dubstep star brings over his wobbly bass-lines and bad attitude. Trilogy, Madinat Jumeirah, Dubai, 10pm to 3am, Dhs100 to Dhs130, ladies free until 11pm. Tel: (050) 7258277. www.myspace.com/caspadubstep

Jozif @ Ill Communications Hotly tipped East London house twister goes international. Trilogy, Madinat Jumeirah, Dubai, 10pm to 3am, Dhs100 to Dhs130, ladies free until 11pm. Tel: (050) 7258277. www.myspace. com/justporkjozif Loaded @ Casa Latina The second installment of indie, funk and rock 'n' roll from the See You Next Friday gang. Ibis Al Barsha, Sheikh Zayed Road, Al Barsha, Dubai, 10pm to 3am, free. Tel: (04) 3996699. www.ibishotel.com

Armin Van Buuren @ Flash Forum Trance megastar makes his return to the Emirates, supported by fellow Dutchman Jochen Miller. Flash Forum, Yas Island, Abu Dhabi, 10pm to 4am, Dhs250 to Dhs395. Tel: (800) 35274. www.arminvanbuuren.com

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David Craig @ Relax@12 Lounging soulful beats from the Emirates’ own house star. Aloft, Abu Dhabi National Exhibition Centre, Abu Dhabi, 5pm to 3am, free. Tel: (02) 6545138. www.relaxat12.com

Joya @ Jebel Ali Golf Resort & Spa

Steve Lawler @ We Love The British house champ launches his new compilation, Lights Out Decade. Trilogy, Madinat Jumeirah, Dubai, 10pm to 3am, Dhs130, Dhs100 before. Tel: (050) 6245751. www.djstevelawler.com

Mr Mr @ Audio Tonic

10 Benny Benassi @ Peppermint Experience Peppermint is celebrating seven years in operation by inviting superstar DJ Benny Benassi to Dubai. We grabbed a word with the Italian stallion… The first single from your new album, Electroman, was Spaceship. Were you one of those kids that wanted to be an astronaut when you were younger? The lyrics were written by Jean Baptiste Kouame [who features on the single alongside Kelis], so maybe he always wanted to be an astronaut. I’m happier on a bicycle. Your show in Dubai is celebrating the Peppermint Club’s seventh birthday. What did you do for your last birthday? And do you have a favourite birthday memory? My birthday celebrations are always low key. I like to have a quiet dinner with my girlfriend and family. Really boring, sorry.

You appeared on FAME, the latest album by troubled pop star Chris Brown, released earlier this year. What was he like to work with? We did a single together – Beautiful People – which is on his album and my forthcoming album. It’s a great track and seems to be doing really well. It was all done over the Internet. I don’t want to comment on his well-

publicised troubles… June in Dubai is going to be rather sweaty. Are you a sun-seeker or more of an indoor type? I’m Italian and the summer for us means the Mediterranean and the beach. I like the sun. Where does Dubai rank in your top places to play in the world? How many times have you been out here now?

I’ve been to Dubai a few times. It’s just this amazing city, in the desert, on the sea. I love the architecture. And the clubbing scene is great. Saeed Hall, World Trade Centre, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, 9pm to 3am, Dhs150 to Dhs250. Tel: (050) 3571113 / (050) 1100678. www.bennybenassi.com

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Georgia on my mind

Capital stuff: flying the flag in Tbilisi

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Fine food, fine wine, beautiful building and a proud history – Georgia has it all

A river runs through it: Tbilisi is built on the banks of the River Mtkvari

Travel is a many splendored thing. It allows you to visit places you’ve never been before, but it also lets you go where nobody else has been. Or, at least, nobody you know. With many such places, the reason your friends haven’t travelled there might be because it’s rubbish or in the middle of nowhere. Or both. Not Georgia. It’s often confused with the American state, home of REM and Coca-Cola – the place that’s on Ray Charles’ mind. But Georgia, the country, is a proud and plucky nation in the southern Caucasus, a diamond at the

crossroads between Asia and Europe, and it’s only just beginning to open up to tourists. This might seem strange for a country with so much to offer – beautiful mountain scenery, ski resorts, wine regions, history, Black Sea beaches and a vibrant yet traditional capital city – but Georgia is inexplicably absent from most people’s travel plans. True enough, it hasn’t enjoyed the best of times since it gained independence from the former Soviet Union. Corruption and conflict has dogged its recent past. These days, though, Georgians are looking towards a brighter and more positive future. You can feel the optimism in the streets of Tbilisi. The Old Town’s cobbled courtyards are cluttered with café tables and chattering youth. JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 101

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TRAVEL | GEORGIA

See the sights: Tbilisi boasts numerous architectural gems

Walk its winding lanes and you’ll see balconied residences in pastel shades, ramshackle wooden abodes and countless churches. Doorways that waft the smell of baking bread into the street and windows that spray their lambent glow into the night. Dreaming spires puncture the skyline, and the River Mtkvari carves a lucid course through the hill-ridged city. On the banks, a glass dome, a symbol of Georgia’s newfound transparency, crowns the president’s residence. Yet it’s the clear waters of the natural hot springs that gave Tbilisi its foundation legend. In the 5th century, the story goes, King Vakhtang Gorgasali killed a pheasant, which fell into the steaming spring and was cooked to perfection. What better place to build a city? It’s no surprise that food should have such prominence in Tbilisi’s mythology. Georgians know how to eat, and eat well. The traditional feast, or supra, is a lavish and drawn-out affair overseen by a toastmaster called a tamada. The table groans under the weight of dishes familiar to both Europeans and Asians. Certainly the shashlik kebabs, stuffed vine-leaf dolma and plump kinkhali dumplings with

ground meat fillings have their origins in the East, from Persia to Mongolia. A celebratory supra may often be accompanied by traditional polyphonic singing, heart-rending folk songs and laments of lost love. A good tamada will pull the mood around with the occasional wisecrack and plenty of toasts, which is where Georgia’s wine plays its part. To the east of Tbilisi, and an easy daytrip away, is Kakheti, a sprawling wine region with hundreds of cellars, from major commercial wineries to the simple homes of local people. Tours through the region take in the picturesque fortress town of Sighnagi, the beautiful lake resort of Kvareli and the region’s capital, Telavi city. The ancient Georgian word ‘gvino’ is probably where the word wine has its origins. Indeed, there is archaeological evidence of viticulture in Georgia dating back over 7,000 years, giving it strong claims to being the birthplace of wine. Georgia is also the birthplace of one of the 20th century’s most infamous figures: Joseph Stalin. The supreme ruler of the Soviet Union and one of the world’s deadliest dictators, Stalin was born in the town of Gori, where a museum now stands near his modest

City Hall: Another city highlight

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Shine a light: Sameba Cathedral

“Georgia is a proud and plucky nation, a diamond and the crossroads between Asia and Europe” childhood home. The last remaining public statue of Stalin in Georgia once towered six metres above Gori’s main square, but it was taken down last year to be replaced with a memorial to the victims of the 2008 conflict with Russia. The removal of Stalin’s hometown monument says much about Georgia’s desire to cut free from the past and reinvent itself as a forward-thinking and Western-looking nation. These days, European Union flags flutter outside Tbilisi’s stately buildings, not because Georgia actually belongs to the collective, but more in the hope that it will, someday. There’s even a street in Tbilisi named after George W Bush, although someone did try to kill him with a hand grenade the last time the ex-US President visited Georgia. Tourism plays a huge role in Georgia’s vision of the future. The historic townlet of

Mestia, high up in the Caucasus mountain region of Svaneti, was once so remote it took ten hours to reach by car from Tbilisi. Significant investment in a new airport has solved that problem, and discerning skiers are now relishing the chance to enjoy unspoiled views, uncluttered slopes and the fascinating mountain culture of the Svan people. Yet there are other, more accessible winter resorts in Georgia. Gudauri is less than two-hours from Tbilisi by car, and is popular with skiers and snowboarders alike. With winter wanderers aptly taken care of, what about those in need of a summer getaway? Georgia’s Black Sea coast is a pearl-string of beautiful resorts, with the seaside city of Batumi dangling at its southern end. With its exotic flora and relaxed vibe, the surrounding area has a distinctly Mediterranean air about it, and the beaches are JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 103

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TRAVEL | GEORGIA

NEED TO KNOW TBILISI HOW TO GET THERE

Tbilisi is around 3.5 hours by air from Dubai. Georgian Airways flies direct from Dubai to Tbilisi for Dhs1950. www.airzena.com

WHERE TO STAY

Holiday Inn Tbilisi This new hotel is one of the best Holiday Inn properties that we’ve ever visited. As an international chain, it may lack something in traditional Georgian charm. But this is the new Georgia, so think bright and modern decor, a breezy lobby area and smart international restaurant, not to mention a rooftop swimming pool. 1, 26 May Square, Tbilisi. Tel: +995 32 300099 Hotel Villa Mtiebi Not short on grandiose flourishes, this recently renovated 19th century mansion is a sparkling gem amidst the crumbling buildings of the Old Town. It’s small, intimate and perfectly situated for those evening strolls through the snaking lanes of historic Tbilisi. Chakrukhadze Street, Tbilisi. Tel: +995 32920340. www.hotelmtiebi.ge

Baratashvili Street: Modern Tbilisi is starting to attract toursits to Georgia

popular with Russian tourists eager to top up their tans. Batumi is Georgia’s main port, so there’s plenty of coming and going in the city. The atmosphere here is upbeat and vibrant, and the many new hotels being built will only add to its spirited ambience. Its larger towns and cities may be full of vim and vigour, but the beauty of Georgia lies in the ease with which you can escape them. A 20km ride from Tbilisi, for example, is the ancient city of Mtskheta. The old town at the confluence of the Mtkvari and Aragvi rivers is a UNESCO world heritage site strewn with monuments and historical significance. The 6th century Jvari Monastery is an early example of south Caucasian medieval architecture, which towers over the town from its mountaintop perch. Standing on these windswept peaks evokes the mystery and romance of a time when Mtskheta was the capital of the Georgian Kingdom of Iberia, between the 3rd century BC and 5th century AD. Trace the Mtkvari River to the SamtskheJavakheti region of southern Georgia and you’ll find an astonishing ancient wonder, hewn into the rock of the Erusheli Mountain. The cave city of Vardzia was a monastic retreat built by Queen Tamar in 1185 as a refuge from the marauding Mongols. It was

WHERE TO EAT

Port authority: Georgia's main port in Batumi

originally a vast complex of 6,000 halls and living quarters, some 13 storeys high, with a complicated irrigation and sanitation system. An earthquake destroyed up to two thirds of the monastery city in 1283, opening up many of the chambers like a sliced pomegranate. Around 300 chambers, tunnels and halls remain, some with detailed frescoes depicting the revered Queen Tamar in all her glory. The caves of Vardzia are a fitting metaphor for the hidden treasure that is Georgia – you have to go out and discover it for yourself, but the rewards for doing so cannot be overstated. When you’ve been, be sure to tell your friends all about it. They’ll wish they went there first.

Kopala With fine views across the spires and hills of old Tbilisi, Kopala is a fine choice to explore a traditional Georgian menu. Fill up on an abundance of plates, from kebabs and salads, to badrijani with roasted aubergine and ground walnuts. Don’t leave Kopala without trying the Georgian national staple, kachapuri, a delicious bread-cum-pastry that comes with a variety of heart-stopping toppings, from cheese to egg. Chekhov Street, Tbilisi. Tel: +995 32775520 Vong Talented local chef Tekuna Gachechiladze melds Asian and European influences with classic Georgian flavours to produce such stunning creations as badrijani with foie gras, Japanese gyoza-style kinkhali dumplings and dolma stuffed with shrimp at this exceptional Georgian-Asian fusion restaurant. Groundbreaking stuff. Abashidza Street, Tbilisi. Tel: +995 32303030

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TAKE A SUMMER BREAK WITH THE FAMILY. IN THE LAP OF LUXURY.

As the tim de of m ent ou fes tak wo an

Give your family a summer break with InterContinental Abu Dhabi and wake up to some excellent room rate offers. Double rooms start at AED 500 net per room per night and suites from only AED 900 net per suite per night. Children under 12 stay free or book an additional room at 25% off, with free access to the health club, beach, pool, late check-out and free shuttle bus to Marina Mall. The hotel has nine restaurants, so there are plenty of dining options. Offer valid from 15th May 2011 until 10th September 2011, subject to availability. Valid only for nationals and residents of UAE & GCC.

For further information or to make a reservation call +971 2 693 5154/5155 or email reservations@icauh.ae intercontinentalabudhabi.com

In over 170 locations across the globe including CAIRO • AMMAN • BEIRUT • DUBAI

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TRAVEL

Best fests in the West As summer hits across the Emirates, what better time to jet off to far flung destinations in search of more temperate entertainment? Here’s our guide to the ten finest festivals money can buy taking place around the world in the coming weeks and months… JUNE BONNAROO WHERE? Manchester, Eminem Tennessee, USA WHEN? June 9 to 12 WHO’S PLAYING? Eminem, Arcade Fire, Buffalo Springfield, Lil Wayne, The Strokes WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? For the ticketless thousands mourning Glastonbury selling out aeons in advance, consider a transatlantic trip instead. Set in a 700-acre farm, Bonnaroo is the closest America has to offer. And with hip hop public enemy number one Eminem heading proceedings in his homeland, a dramatic boundaries of taste-skirting spectacle is almost guaranteed. TICKETS: Dhs916 BEST ROUTE: United Airlines (www. united.com) flies from Dubai to Nashville via Washington from Dhs8,319; Etihad Airways flies from Abu Dhabi to Nashville via Chicago from Dhs6,875 (www.etihadairways.com) www.bonnaroo.com SÓNAR WHERE? Barcelona, Spain WHEN? June 16 to 18 WHO’S PLAYING? Underworld The Human League, Dizzee Rascal, Aphex Twin, Underworld, MIA WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? Any electronic music fan worth their salt knows Sónar, which has blasted beats onto Barcelona’s

Sónar

streets for 15 years. Split into ‘by day’ and ‘by night’ sections, everything truly comes to life during the latter, with festival-goers bussed out of town for huge raves. For offpiste thrills, meanwhile, explore the wealth of extracurricular parties around Barcelona. TICKETS: Dhs844 BEST ROUTE: Swiss International Air Lines (www.swiss.com) flies from Dubai to Barcelona via Zurich from Dhs2,395; Lufthansa (www.lufthansa.com) flies from Abu Dhabi to Barcelona via Frankfurt from Dhs2,454 www.sonar.es ROSKILDE WHERE? Roskilde, Denmark WHEN? June 30 to July 3 WHO’S PLAYING? Arctic The Strokes Monkeys, Iron Maiden, Kings Of Leon, PJ Harvey, The Strokes WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? Once a hippy hangout, nowadays the Roskilde festival is an iconic weekend on the European festival calendar. Past headliners read like a who’s who

Bonnaroo

Roskilde

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Benicàssim

Exit

of popular music – Bob Marley, U2, David Bowie, Radiohead, Nirvana – and this year shows no sign of letting that proud heritage slip. Extra bonus: all profits go to charity. TICKETS: Dhs1,260 BEST ROUTE: Lufthansa (www.lufthansa. com) flies from Dubai to Copenhagen via Munich from Dhs2,485 and from Abu Dhabi to Copenhagen via Frankfurt from Dhs2,516 www.roskilde-festival.dk

JULY EXIT WHERE? Novi Sad, MIA Serbia WHEN? July 7 to 10 WHO’S PLAYING? Arcade Fire, Pulp, Jamiroquai, Portishead, MIA WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? Invading the beautiful 18th century Petrovaradin Fortress, Exit was only founded in 2000, but has already been hailed as the best festival in Europe. It stakes a further claim to that accolade this summer, with a strong focus on international club stars below the main headliners, including Underworld, Deadmau5 and Groove Armada. TICKETS: Dhs644 BEST ROUTE: Austrian Airlines (www. austrian.com) flies from Dubai to Belgrade via Vienna from Dhs2,687; Lufthansa (www. lufthansa.com) flies from Abu Dhabi to Belgrade via Frankfurt from Dhs2,651 www.exitfest.org

OXEGEN WHERE? Punchestown, Ireland. Black Eyed WHEN? July 8 to 10. Peas WHO’S PLAYING? The Black Eyed Peas, Foo Fighters, Coldplay, Tinie Tempah, My Chemical Romance WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? The famous Punchestown Racecourse plays host to Ireland’s biggest music fest, which prides itself on an environmentally friendly ethos. Aside from the litany of headlining names that everyone and their mother would know, you may even spot Clint Eastwood: apparently the Hollywood legend is an unlikely fan of UK chart-topper Tinie Tempah TICKETS: Dhs1,332 BEST ROUTE: Lufthansa (www.lufthansa. com) flies from Dubai to Dublin via Frankfurt from Dhs2,939; Etihad Airways (www. etihadairways.com) flies from Abu Dhabi to Dublin from Dhs4,905 www.oxegen.ie BENICÀSSIM WHERE? Benicàssim, Spain WHEN? July 14 to 17 Arcade Fire WHO’S PLAYING? The Streets, The Strokes, Arctic Monkeys, Arcade Fire, Primal Scream WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? Anybody who pines for the UAE lifestyle while abroad should sample Benicàssim. In close proximity

Dour

to artificial beaches, the festival enjoys a rather lackadaisical approach, with bands generally getting underway in the early evening. Not only is it perfect for topping up tans before getting your musical rocks off, the festival’s moniker is even of Arabic origin. TICKETS: Dhs1,008 BEST ROUTE: Swiss International Air Lines (www.swiss.com) flies from Dubai to Valencia Airport via Zurich from Dhs2,935; Air France (www.airfrance.ae) flies from Abu Dhabi to Valencia via Paris from Dhs3,871 www.fiberfib.com DOUR WHERE? Dour, Belgium WHEN? July 14 to 17 Cypress Hill WHO’S PLAYING? Public Enemy, Pendulum, Ice Cube, Pulp, Cypress Hill WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? Anything but dour in reality, this Belgian behemoth has swiftly become one of Europe’s favourite fests. Attracting the very cream of rock and dance, hip hop lovers will also go crazy for the wealth of grade A rap talent gracing the 2011 line-up. Whoever dreamt up the cliché that Belgium is boring clearly never ventured this close to the French border.

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etihadairways.com) flies from Abu Dhabi to Chicago from Dhs7,335 www.lollapalooza.com

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SZIGET WHERE? Budapest, Hungary WHEN? August 10 to 15 WHO’S PLAYING? Amy Winehouse, Dizzee Rascal, Amy Winehouse La Roux, Good Charlotte, The Chemical Brothers WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? On the banks of the Danube, Sziget translates to ‘island’, and is top of a crop of eastern European festivals that have come to prominence in the past decade. What separates Sziget is its duration, lasting an impressive six days. The line-up is suitably weighty and, hey, Amy Winehouse surely can’t be any worse than her Dubai debacle a few months back. TICKETS: Dhs1,089 BEST ROUTE: Austrian Airlines (www. austrian.com) flies from Dubai to Budapest Airport via Vienna from Dhs2,264; Lufthansa (www.lufthansa.com) flies from Abu Dhabi to Budpest via Frankfurt from Dhs2,626 www.sziget.hu READING AND LEEDS FESTIVALS WHERE? Reading and Leeds, UK Muse WHEN? August 26 to 28 WHO’S PLAYING? My Chemical Romance, Thirty Seconds To Mars, The Strokes, Muse, Elbow WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? This two-town beast continues to revolve its line-up across dual sites. Arguably the most ravenously anticipated weekend of the year for British rock kids, there are plenty of grown-up aural attractions this summer, too: Pulp, Elbow, The Streets, Lollapalooza founders Jane’s Addiction and more will keep the over-30s interested while the kids party hard. TICKETS: Dhs1,181 BEST ROUTE: British Airways (www. britishairways.com) flies from Dubai to London Heathrow from Dhs3,445; British Airways (www.britishairways.com) flies from Abu Dhabi to London Heathrow from Dhs3,515 www.readingfestival.com and www.leedsfestival.com

Lollapalooza

TICKETS: Dhs637 BEST ROUTE: Lufthansa (www.lufthansa. com) flies to Brussels via Munich from Dhs2,516; Etihad Airways (www.etihadairways. com) flies from Abu Dhabi to Munich from Dhs4,745 www.dourfestival.be

AUGUST LOLLAPALOOZA WHERE? Chicago, USA Coldplay WHEN? August 5 to 7 WHO’S PLAYING? Eminem, Foo Fighters, Coldplay, Muse, Cee Lo Green WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? Originally a touring festival figurehead of 1990s alternative rock, Lollapalooza’s place in cultural history was cemented after it was immortalised in everyone’s favourite yellow cartoon, The Simpsons. Having begun with the intention of recreating the spirit of Woodstock, in 2011 that noble aim takes a back seat to an array of multi-million sellers. TICKETS: Dhs789 BEST ROUTE: American Airlines (www. aa.com) flies from Dubai to Chicago via London from Dhs4,981; Etihad Airways (www.

Reading and Leeds festivals

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TRAVEL | TRAVELS WITH...

Travels with…

TRAVEL EXTRA

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Peter James

British crime writer Peter James has travelled the world researching his numerous best-selling novels. The latest instalment in the series featuring detective superintendent Roy Grace, Dead Man’s Grip, is out this month What’s the best holiday you’ve ever had? Skiing in Zermatt, Switzerland, with friends over Christmas. The village is magical, with no cars. On Christmas Eve we walked up a hill in falling snow to a midnight carol service in the English church. On Christmas Day we skied until 3pm, then stopped at a mountain restaurant, where they had prepared a turkey for us, and we took in Christmas puds in our

Enjoy these sizzling summer deals TURKISH DELIGHT In our opinion, Istanbul is at its finest in June, and the Holiday Factory is offering various packages, ranging from Dhs1,996 to Dhs2,659 depending on the hotel and including three nights, airport transfers and breakfast. Now we’re talking Turkey. Jun 1 to Jul 28, Holiday Factory. Tel: (04) 2600700. www.holiday-factory.com

you have a fixed lounger for your entire stay, Laurent, the head barman, remembers your drinks from year to year, the food is superlative (chef Raymond Blanc holidays here) and the management are beyond charming. What are your top three tips for surviving a long airport stopover? Find a lounge – many airports have lounges you can enter for a small fee if you are not in first or business class. It makes all the difference. Avoid alcohol, it just makes you tired. Set your alarm clock – few flights are knapsacks. In the evening we skied back to the announced these days. village with a ski instructor friend, guided by What do you never travel without? burning torches. My laptop, my Bose noise-cancelling What’s your biggest travel disaster? headphones and a book for each day I’ll Years ago myself and two friends decided be away. to retrace the route of the writer Jerome What destination serves the best food? K Jerome’s classic Three Men In A Boat up My favourite restaurants are El Bulli in Spain, the Thames. We set off in my dingy and the The Fat Duck in Bray and the Standard Grill in first night we pitched our tent in a field in a NYC. But, in my view, Melbourne has the best thunderstorm. In the morning we woke to food overall in the world. find we had put the tent up over a stream, and Dead Man’s Grip by Peter James everything was washed away. Some people are is out June 3. Available from born to do camping, others are born to do five- Magrudy’s, Borders, Jashanmal star hotels. I now know which category I’m in. and Kinokuniya If you could advise people to visit one destination, what would it be? Le Club Hotel in Cavaliere, in the South of “Some people are born to France. This Relais Chateaux jewel has been do camping, others are my summer holiday paradise for years. It born to do five-star hotels” is actually on the beach, a white sand bay,

CHARMING CHOO-CHOOS It’s hard to beat the majesty of a romantic steam train ride – which is why this summer Dnata Travel is reviving one of the world’s most prestigious train trips, the Venice Simpton-Orient-Express line. Snap it up quick, Dnata is offering ten per cent off all its summer holiday packages if you book before July 15. www.dnata.com

RELAX IN NEPAL Here’s our two-step guide to unwinding this summer. Step one. Book a package to the Dwarika Hotel in Nepal. Step two. Relax. The boutique hotel in Katmandu is currently offering three and five-day breaks from Dhs1,670 per double room, including full board and complimentary massage. They also have yoga and meditation classes. Total bliss. Jun 1 to Sept 15, Dwarika Hotel, Nepal. www.dwarikas.com

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Travel deals extra If you can’t face flying, here’s our pick of the best local getaways

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Le Méridien Al Aqah Beach Resort

WEEKDAY FUJAIRAH CHILL OUT

1/2 AD

If you fancy adding a few extra days to your weekend, then the weekday offer at Le Méridien Al Aqah could be just what you’re looking for. At Dhs349 per person, per night, it's already a great deal, but throw in breakfast, lunch or dinner, and the fact that two children can go free of charge, and it’s a bargain deal for the whole family. Le Méridien Al Aqah Beach Resort, Fujairah. Tel: (09) 2449000. www.lemeridien-alaqah.com

AFFORDABLE ATLANTIS

If bang for your buck is what you’re interested in, tuck in to Atlantis’ summer packages. Until Sept 30, the Dhs895 per room package also includes unlimited free access to the Aquaventure Waterpark, complimentary shuttle services to selected malls, and discounted rates at Dolphin Bay. Atlantis, Palm Jumeirah, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4261000. www.atlantisthepalm.com

Altantis, The Palm

GO WESTIN

As the mercury rises, the prices for hotel rooms in the UAE start to drop. In order to help those who are working through the heat, The Westin Dubai is offering to shelter UAE residents with a special wallet relieving rate of Dhs333 per person. Jun 4 to Aug 27, The Westin Dubai Mina Seyahi Beach Resort & Marina, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3994141 JUNE 2011 WHAT’S ON 111

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THE HOT LIST

THE FINEST FOR BEVERAGES AND BITES

BARS

Jetty Lounge

ATMOSPHERE

LOCATION

XL Beach Club

BEST FOR

PRICE

Zuma

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

City slick, with the chance of celeb spotting. Glass, dark woods and a lounge full of lowslung sofas for.

This megabrand was the first big name to set up in DIFC and continues to set the standard.

Dressing up, sipping cocktails and mingling. Zuma’s bar may be a lounge, but it’s far from casual.

It ain't cheap, but if you pay peanuts you get monkeys. Which is our way of saying that it's worth the extra dirhams.

Adore the food, love the staff, can’t get enough.

Building 6, DIFC, Dubai, Fri to Wed noon to 2am, Thurs noon to 3am. Tel: (04) 4255660. www.zumarestaurant. com

Beachside chic, with private cabanas on the sand, and cool white seating closer to the bar. Busy, but not crazy.

Right on the shore at the original One&Only, with views of the Palm.

Sophisticated sundowners over some sharing platters of nibbles.

The food isn’t cheap, but drinks are average for a top-notch bar. Cocktails are a bit pricey, but totally worth it.

The indoors is suitably chic, so even though it's a beach bar Jetty Lounge clings on at number two.

One&Only Royal Mirage, Al Sufouh, Dubai, 2pm to late. Tel: (04) 3999999

Banging. Private glass-fronted plunge pools, cabanas with their own music, VIPs galore and a crazy crowd.

It's an open-air beach bar, but with plunge pools and new roof you'll be able to enjoy XL all summer long.

Mingling with models (Fashion TV is there some Fridays) and hearing good tunes. Wednesdays see DJ Kristian Valdini take to the decks.

Best to club in with your mates and get a table – it will work out about the same as trips to the bar and looks more impressive.

Great for after-work drinks, Caramel is buzzing mid-week but a bit quieter on Fridays when DIFCdwellers stay away from their offices.

Avoid the outdoors and stick with the slick, dark interior where there's truffle oil in the air and drinks flowing.

The menu is fantastic, so book a table and turn dinner into drinks.

Definitely on the pricey side, especially the food, but drinks are fairly standard for this part of town.

They really need to sort out that smoking area. Ug. Ly.

Building 3, DIFC, Dubai, 11am to 2am. Tel: (04) 4256677. www. carameldubai.com

Packed, both midweek and come the weekend, with a fun-loving expat crowd.

At present JLT's sole watering hole (hence the crowds). Don't expect the twinkly terrace of the Irish Village though, this place is more bistro style.

Rowdy fun and a good Irish fry-up. Our advice? Have rowdy fun, then go for breakfast the next morning.

Very decent indeed, and there's a well-priced Friday brunch (Dhs99 for a main meal and three drinks).

Check out page 33 to read about the Tuesday night iPaddy quiz.

McGettigan's, The Bonnington, JLT, Dubai, 12.30pm to 3am. Tel: (04) 3560600. www. mcgettigansdubai. com

Zuma

Jetty Lounge

XL Beach Club

Caramel

McGettigan's

, We’ve heard

the cabanas (Dhs15,000 a pop) are booked up until August. AUGUST.

Habtoor Grand, Dubai Marina, Dubai, noon to 3am. Tel: (056) 6406161. www. grandjumeirah. habtoorhotels.com

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The Terrace

ATMOSPHERE

Belgian Beer Café

The Gramercy

8 Oeno

West Beach Bistro & Sports Lounge

10 The Terrace

LOCATION

Blends

BEST FOR

11 BLENDS Blends is the busy bar the Marina was waiting for, with its famed free Cosmos for ladies on Thursday and Friday nights. This means it’s reassuringly packed at weekends, but the launch of Tuesday and Wednesday versions ensure midweek mischief, too. Split into main bar, smaller lounge and cigar room, most people come to mingle at the bar before taking to the dance floor. The Address Dubai Marina, Dubai Marina, Dubai, 6pm to 2am. Tel: (04) 4367777

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

It's a bit sticky for the terrace now, so retire to the wooden pews and bustling bar inside. We love the Victorian tiles, vintage signage and European feel.

Don’t dismiss Festival Centre as the land of IKEA, the BBC is king of a huge swathe of new bars and restaurants in this part of town.

If you’re in the mood for some European charm, this is the only pub to go to.

There’s a Monday night all you can eat moules and beer affair for Dhs199. Bargain Belgian.

A cracking brunch, decent deals and a spectacular drinks list mean we’re regulars.

Crowne Plaza Festival City, Dubai, Sun to Mon 6pm to 2am, Tue to Wed noon to 2am, Thurs and Fri noon to 3am. Tel: (04) 7012222. www.ichotelsgroup. com

The Gramercy has shrugged off its sports bar image, and is now more NYC bar, with a French twist. Live music nights keep it bustling.

At the heart of DIFC, it's busy with business lunches, post-work drinks and late Thursday night conflabs. Expect people to be suited and booted.

The quality bar food sets it apart from the slew of other bars. And it has a great independent feel, too.

Not cheap, but the ingredients are of a high quality, food portions are massive and the bar service is speedy.

Win a table for four at the new jazz-themed Friday brunch on page 41. You're welcome.

Unit 7, Level 2, Building 3, DIFC, noon to midnight. Tel: (04) 4377511. www. thegramercybar.com

You can't get moved in here on ladies' night (Tuesday), but it's more civilised later in the week.

The Westin, so there's Senyar across the lobby if you want to mix it up a bit.

The ladies' night is epic, with a choice of drinks on offer for the fairer sex, and a choice of ladies on offer for the chaps.

Oeno's wine list is impressive, with some very pricey numbers on there, but there are some decent bottles for a decent price, too.

Beware the glass staircase if you're in heels: we've watched some spectacular tumbles.

The Westin Dubai Mina Seyahi Beach Resort & Marina, Al Sufouh Road, Dubai, Sat to Thurs 6pm to 2am, Fri 4pm to 2am. Tel: (04) 3994141. www. starwoodhotels.com

If there's a big match or sports event on the big screen, then you can expect every booth and bar stool to be taken.

Right on The Walk, this new addition is giving the sports fans of JBR what they want.

Even if your team of choice isn't in action, the pool table and sticky ribs are reason enough to pay West Beach a visit. Excellent onion rings, too.

Fair, and there's a mid-week happy hour from 6pm to 9pm where selected drinks are half price. Score. Sorry.

Dubai 92's Geordiebird went this month. See what she thought on page 9.

Mövenpick Hotel Jumeirah Beach, Dubai Marina, Dubai, Sun to Wed 6pm to 2am, Thurs to Sat noon to 2am. Tel: (04) 4498888

The outdoors is out of action now, but luckily the glass walls will allow you to enjoy the creekside views.

The Terrace is at one of the most beautiful hotels in the land, just next to the creek.

Picking out which boat you’d have. We’ll take the Pershing, please. Perfect with nibbles and cocktails.

Pretty reasonable given the stunning setting and quality of fare.

The raw bar alone warrants the Salik charge to this part of town.

Park Hyatt Dubai, Deira, Dubia, Sun to Fri from 6pm to 1am. Tel: (04) 3172222. www. dubai.park.hyatt.com

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THE HOT LIST

THE ELITE OF THE EATING OUT SCENE

RESTAURANTS

Rivington Grill

La Petite Maison

2 Zuma

Indego by Vineet

4 Verre

Rivington Grill

MARCH 2010 WHAT’S ON 119Indego by Vineet

ATMOSPHERE

INTERIOR

FOOD

LOCATION

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

From day one LPM has felt like an established restaurant with a loyal clientele ensuring a consistently full reservation book.

A long bar runs down one side and there's an open pass through which you can see and hear the magic happening in the kitchen.

Order the lobster or, if you're feeling a little naughty, the cheesecake. In fact, there's not a bad dish on the menu. Order it all.

DIFC. With The Ivy opening across the road at Emirates Towers and Hakkasan on its way, maybe LPM should watch its back.

You’re talking around Dhs1,200 for two if you want to do the menu justice.

Chef Izi is one of the best in Dubai.

DIFC, Gate Village 8, Dubai, Sun to Fri noon to 2.30pm and 7pm to 11pm. Tel: (04) 4390505. www. lpmdubai.ae

Zuma's restaurant is never lacking diners, and the upstairs bar oozes sophistication.

It's all bright light and efficient sushi counters downstairs, and cocktails and chatter in the upstairs bar and lounge.

Order the wagyu tenderloin from the robata grill menu, the veal or the Japanese baked potato with mayo, rock salt and lime.

Dubai's two best restaurants within tottering distance of each other. We're thinking of setting up camp between them at DIFC.

Around Dhs1,200 to do things properly. You certainly won’t get much paper change from a Dhs1,000 note.

Check out what we thought of the lunch menus (p52).

Building 6, DIFC, Sat to Thurs 12.30pm to 3pm, Sat to Wed 7pm to midnight, Thurs and Fri 7pm to 1am. Tel: (04) 4255660. www. zumarestaurant. com

It might be a fine dining menu, but Indego has the warm, glow and friendly service in evidence at almost all Indian restaurants.

A be-cushioned entrance, a winding stairway, a welcoming restaurant and a terrace for a cheeky warm up (or warm down) drink.

The new tapas menu is ideal for light nibbles, and if you're hungry the main menu serves the best Indian food in Dubai.

Dubai Marina will remain Bhatia's only Dubai outpost. No plans for expansion here, but definite designs on the capital, he says.

Dhs900 (without alcohol). Although the new tapas menu is much lighter on your wallet.

Please open some more restaurants in Dubai, Vineet? Pretty please, with cumin spice on top.

Grosvenor House, Dubai Marina, Dubai, Sun to Thurs 7pm to 11pm. Tel: (04) 3176000. www. grosvenorhousedubai.com

If Verre was relocated to new premises it would sing, but it manages an appealing hum where it is now.

It's not the best space for a restaurant, but Verre's chef’s table is right on the money. Create a special occasion, and book it – now.

The new spring/ summer menu is a revelation. Order the paprika smoked salmon. Oh yes, and the sommelier is excellent.

We'll keep repeating this until he acts, but Gordon needs to move his talented team to the other end of town.

Dhs395 for three courses, Dhs495 for six courses. For the chef’s table it’s Dhs695, with wine pairings Dhs350 to Dhs600.

Spend the extra Dhs100 for the six courses. You won't be sorry.

Hilton Dubai Creek, Sun to Fri, 7pm to 11.30pm. Tel: (04) 2277550. www. gordonramsay. com

Aside from the outstanding food, one thing keeps the Riv in the top five – its loyal fans. RG is never empty.

Clean, bright and white, with artwork, chalkboards for the specials and a buzzing open kitchen.

Try the summery pumpkin, goats' cheese and tomato tart, or the new veal chop.

Old Town is RG's original home, but look out for new branches springing up soon.

Around Dhs400 for two, but on weekdays you can get two courses at lunchtime for Dhs80, or three for Dhs100.

ALook classout act. forLook RG's out forrestaurant, RG's sister sister resta,urant The Ivy, opening The Ivy, opening at Emirates this month Towers this at R

Souk Al Bahar, Level 3, Old Town, Dubai, noon to 11pm. Tel: (04) 4230903. www. rivingtongrill.ae

month.

INFO

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RESTAURANTS

HOT ON LS EESa THE Hbe el ray

n 11 Amala, Za yal Méridie enty10, Le Ro 12 Rhodes Tw h Resort & Spa Beac wers , Emirates To 13 Rib Room e Monarch 14 Okku, Th e Westin Th 15 Bussola,

Rhodes Mezzanine

PRICE ATMOSPHERE WHAT’S INTERIOR ON SAYS...

Rhodes Mezzanine

Reflets Par Pierre Gagnaire

8 Traiteur

9 Asado

10 Rare

Bussola

INFO FOOD

15 BUSSOLA Bussola There’s the high end establishment downstairs, but the real reason we (and everybody else) love Bussola is the alfresco delights upstairs. Seriously good pizza – thin base, classic toppings – and stunning views across the Arabian Gulf to The Palm’s bright lights.Go quick, it closes down come July. The Westin Dubai, Dubai Marina, Dubai, noon to 2.45pm and 7pm to 10.45pm. Tel: (04) 3994141. www.starwoodhotels.com

LOCATION

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

If empty, the predominantly white decor can be oppressive, but the Rhodes name and the superlative food ensure that's rarely an issue.

It’s very, very white, but the extremely comfortable chairs add a touch of colour here and there and there’s a tiny glimpse of the kitchen.

Chef Paul Lupton has outdone himself with his new spring/summer dishes. Order the seared tempura scallops. Clever.

Gary has Dubai Marina covered, with two restaurants within walking distance of each other.

Dhs800 for two.

You've got the Dubai Marina sorted, so what's next, Mr Rhodes?

Grosvenor House, Dubai Marina, Dubai, Mon to Sat 7pm to 11.30pm. Tel: (04) 3998888. www. garyrhodes. com

Maitre d' Dennis' welcoming smile and friendly chatter adds a homely touch to a restaurant that is all about elegance.

Small, chic and classy, resplendent with its purplehued carpets, everything feels as it should do.

Pierre Gagnaire's team doesn't do comfortable, easy food. Reflets is a challenge, and never fails to make an impression.

Reflets has its own private elevator at the bastion of class that is the InterCon DFC. But will DFC become the food hub we're been promised?

You're talking well over Dhs1,000 for dinner. But the taster menus are Dhs550, and the business lunch is a bargain at Dhs180.

If you're a picky eater (gasp in horror), don't go to Reflets. If you're a serious foodie, book immediately.

InterContinental Dubai Festival City, Dubai, 7pm to 1am. Tel: (04) 7011128. www. ichotelsgroup. com

Traiteur will always be busy, even if it is at the wrong end of town. People (us incuded) fall in love with it and remain devoted to it.

The vaulted ceiling and the open kitchen make Traiteur one of the most memorable restaurants in town.

Chef Franck Detrait’s menu is a triumph. Try the sea bass with asparagus, green peas and glazed morels.

Park Hyatt. A timeless classic.

The degustation menu is Dhs375 for four courses and coffee. For a la carte you’re talking around Dhs650 for two.

The only real French brasserie restaurant left in town.

Park Hyatt Dubai, Deira, Dubai, Sun to Fri 7pm to midnight. Tel: (04) 3172222. www.dubai. park.hyatt.com

Sunday night is Tango night. Book in advance. The people of Dubai like to eat and dance.

It's a bit warm for the terrace now, but you can still glimpse the Burj through the window.

A carnivore's delight. Try the lamb rack or slow-cooked veal brisket.

Downtown Burj Khalifa, and the view of the tallest building in the world is one of the best.

Around Dhs700 for two.

Music. Meat. Malbec. Did we say meat? What more could you want from an Argentinean restaurant?

The Palace – The Old Town, Downtown Dubai, 7pm to midnight. Tel: (04) 4287888. www. theaddress.com

The terrace is out, putting Rare's position in jeopardy, but hotel guests ensure inside is never empty.

An orangey glow, slate, dark woods. Modern grill 101.

Chef Kevin Little has stripped out the menu's dead weight and created an appealing and uncomplicated grill menu.

It's worth the journey into the wilderness, but why not book an afternoon spa beforehand, or stay the night?

Around Dhs700 for two.

It's really far out of town. But Chef Little has taken things up a notch at Rare.

Desert Palm, Al Awir Road, Dubai, Mon to Sat 7pm to 10.30pm. Tel: (04) 3238888. www. desertpalm. peraquum.com

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THE HOT LIST BRUNCHES

OUR PICK OF THE BRUNCH BUNCH

The Talk

ATMOSPHERE

1 Al Qasr

2 Traiteur

3 4 5

Armani/Hashi

LOCATION

BEST FOR

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

There’s a definite celebratory vibe, with lots of people celebrating big occasions. Expect large groups rather than couples.

It may be a cliche, but there's ‘something for everyone’. The choice is staggering, and it's all absolutely top notch.

The summer heat means forgoing the waterway views, but the restaurants indoors are all nice and airy.

Special occasions, or reminding yourself why life in Dubai is anything but run-of-the-mill.

At Dhs495, it’s not cheap, but it’s worth every fil in our book.

A decadent day out you’ll love.

Madinat Jumeirah, Dubai, 12.30pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 3666730. www. jumeirah.com

Style and sophistication is the name of the game. The jazz band brings everything to life.

The open kitchen becomes a live buffet station with chefs churning out French classics to order.

One of Dubai's most attractive restaurants is even better when filled with early afternoon sunlight.

A special occasion, or a Parisian style tête-à-tête.

Up to you – Dhs375 sans booze, Dhs450 with wine and beer, Dhs595 with bubbly and Dhs1,998 with a limo pick up.

It's a the pricier It might end of the be quite spectrum, expensive,but but Traiteur you willnever never disappoints. leave Traiteur disappointed.

Park Hyatt Dubai, Deira, Dubai, noon to 4pm. Tel: (04) 3172222. www. dubai.park. hyatt.com

Sleek and elegant, the Zuma family has paid attention to every detail.

Not only the best sushi and sashimi in Dubai, but the black cod is still good enough to live up to the hype.

DIFC – nice and central with plenty of options for after brunch drinks.

Sharing. Entreés are divvied up for everyone around the table for a more communal experience.

Kitsu (no alcohol) Dhs315, Kowaku Dhs425 (with alcohol) and Kyasha (with champers) Dhs550.

Brunches always benefit from staying specialised. Best Japanese in Dubai.

Building 6, DIFC, Dubai, 12.30pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 4255660. www. zumarestaurant. com

Located on the same level as the hotel pool and terrace, and with a jazz guitarist strumming away, The Talk is pretty spirited.

A sumptuous seafood buffet, tandoori and pizza ovens, roast beef and Yorkshire pud and a dangerous dessert station.

The Mövenpick is on JBR Walk, so there are plenty of postbrunch options in Dubai Marina, JBR and just across the road in JLT.

A catch up brunch with your best, and hungriest, buddies.

Dhs299 with house beverages, Dhs399 with Cattier champagne, Dhs455 with Moet and Dhs499 with Veuve.

Atjust justDhs350, Dhs350, At TheTalk Talk The definitelywalks walks definitely thewalk. walk. the

Mövenpick Hotel Jumeirah Beach, The Walk, JBR, Dubai, 12.30pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 4498888. www. moevenpickhotels.com

Casual, cool and relaxed, but without trying too hard. The music's at just the right volume, and tempo, too.

Great sushi and sashimi, tempura and lots of noodles. The BBQ platter of meats served at your table is a winner.

It's the world's tallest building. This the designer-suitwith-pocketsquare-andpolished-shoes of brunching addresses.

Sharing sake with friends in the shadow of the Burj. Try not to put your neck out looking up at the top.

Dhs290 with soft drinks, Dhs380 with house beverages. Dhs585 with spirits and half a bottle of Bollinger.

A well-priced brunch with great service in an amazing location. It should be a lot busier.

Armani Hotel Dubai, Burj Khalifa, Dubai, noon to 3.30pm. Tel: (04) 8883444. www.dubai. armanihotels. com

Zuma

The Talk

FOOD

Traiteur

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BRUNCHES

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PRICE ATMOSPHERE WHAT’S ON FOOD SAYS...

6 Toshi

It's an evening brunch, so it's more like a busy dinner service than a raucous long lunch.

Friday is Asian Night, so it's sushi, dim sum, soup and grilled meats made to order. Just what the doctor ordered.

12 LATITUDE

Latitude

INFOLOCATION

Hidden away on the 18th floor of the Grand Millennium hotel with a bar just next door for post-10pm drinks.

BEST FOR

It's cheaper than going out to dinner, so it's ideal for meeting up with a big group of friends.

Ignore the ‘airport lounge’ feel and focus on adding to the lively atmosphere – ably assisted by the live jazz band playing pop covers. A medley of global gastronomic dishes will keep you sated, while the exercise needed to walk to the ‘food room’ will ward off any post-gorging guilt. With nine cocktails, bubbly, wine and beer on tap, and over 20 food stations (we lost count), this brunch means business. Latitude, Jumeirah Beach Hotel, Dubai, 12.30pm to 4pm, Dhs340. Tel: (04) 4068999 PRICE

Dhs195.

WHAT’S ON SAYS... Perfect if you can't handle the usual daytime affair.

INFO

Grand Millennium Dubai, Tecom, Al Barsha, Dubai, 7pm to 10pm. Tel: (04) 4299999

The Grand Grill

8 Anise

Thai Kitchen

Belgian Beer Cafe

The staff sing, they dance and they crack jokes. They're up for a party if you are.

The most laidback brunch in the city. The staff make you feel welcome from the moment you walk through the door.

Buckets of beer and huge plates of meat delivered to your table, and plenty of sides and salads.

Close to Barasti and just upstairs from The Underground, there's no need for the party to end after this brunch.

A birthday or similar big occasion. A table of at least eight is advisable.

The band keeps things jumping along nicely, but it's certainly not a rip roaring party brunch.

Several buffets and numerous live cooking stations. Go for the pizzas and Peking duck.

The InterCon DFC is next door to the Belgian Beer Café. Handy.

As the Blues Brothers famously put it – you, me... everybody.

Dhs395 with alcohol, Dhs295 without.

A good, solid all-rounder, with a great selection of food.

InterContinental Dubai Festival City, Dubai, 12.30pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 7011111. www. ichotelsgroup. com

If you can't handle a full on party brunch, Thai Kitchen is all about good food and taking things easy.

Order as much as you like a la carte and it will be delivered direct to your table. No need to queue at the buffet here.

A long way from those who live Marina-side, but Park Hyatt is always worth the journey, and there are plenty of post-brunch options.

Chilling out with a few friends or enjoying a quiet brunch for two.

Dhs245, making it one of the cheapest brunches in town.

The price does not reflect the quality of the food. Bargain.

Park Hyatt Dubai, Deira, Dubai, noon to 4pm. Tel: (04) 3172222. www. dubai.park. hyatt.com

The same bustling pub atmosphere that you always get at the BBC.

Order from the a la carte menu, while helping yourself to cold cuts, salads and cheeses from the buffet in between courses..

What those on the wrong side of Garhoud Bridge spend in taxi fare, they'll save thanks to the rock bottom price.

An extended pub lunch for lovers of hearty, Belgian grub.

Dhs199. You will not find a brunch of this quality for less than Dhs200 in Dubai.

Dubai's cheapest quality brunch.

Crowne Plaza Dubai Festival City, Dubai, 1pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 7011128. www. ichotelsgroup. com

A bargain at Dhs295 with alcohol or Dhs225 without.

Habtoor Grand Resort & Spa, Lobby level, Dubai Marina, Dubai, 12.30pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 3994221. www. thegrandgrill. com

CMY

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THE HOT LIST SPAS

THE DADDIES OF THE HEALTH AND LEISURE SCENE

SensAsia Urban Spa

THERAPISTS

Amara Spa

One&Only Spa

SensAsia Urban Spa

Talise Spa

The Spa

THE SPA

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

Pleasant and efficient. What more can you ask for? And they even remember you, which is nice.

Grouped by theme, there’s an emphasis on rituals and packages that include pool and health club access. And the pool is a knock-out.

Seriously beautiful, with a lovely tiled entrance area. It's particularly good for couples, with private outdoor showers and VIP suites.

There are monthly offers that take the sting out of the steep prices – but the quality of products, spa and therapists more than justify them.

It's back at number one for the chilled pool – a spa essential in the summer months.

Park Hyatt Dubai, Deira, Dubai, 9am to 10pm. Tel: (04) 6021234. www.dubai.park. hyatt.com

Utterly expert, very friendly and skilled beyond belief. If you want to know the hows and whys behind your treatment, they can explain them with ease.

Packed with ESPA treatments and products, the menu addresses every possible concern and then some.

Expect lots of wood, terracotta and gorgeous fabrics. Gorgeous.

Not as expensive as they could probably demand (shush) with a 25minute body scrub for Dhs215 and one-hour massage costing Dhs490. Thumbs up.

The hotel can now be reached by boat from the original One&Only.

One&Only The Palm, The Palm Jumeirah, Dubai, 10am to 9pm. Tel: (04) 4401010. www.thepalm. oneandonlyresorts. com

Quiet, kind and with a firm hand when necessary, SensAsia’s staff are trained to the highest standards.

Innovative and imaginative, you’ll find treatments you never knew you needed. Mumto-bes, golfers, high-heel fans and more are all catered for.

Asian chic with splashes of jewel tones; the cosy rooms are a true retreat. And the dressing gowns are the best in town.

Choose wisely and you’ll get an hourlong massage for Dhs310, and they’ll often do monthly discounts. Worth a visit for the ginger tea alone.

They've got a new express spa at Mall Of The Emirates for speedy massages. A must-visit.

The Beach Club, Al Nafura, Shoreline Apartments, The Palm Jumeirah, Dubai, 10am to 10pm. Tel: (04) 4227115. www.sensasiaspas. com

This spa is packed with experts; there’s a mix of nationalities and specialities, from massage therapists to a GP.

Talise sets itself apart with its naturopath, life coaching and medical testing, in addition to the large spa menu.

The treatment rooms are linked by leafy outdoor pathways, with an outdoor pool tucked away for those day-long spa sessions.

Average for such a high-end establishment, with the 80-minute Royal Hammam costing a fair Dhs450.

Ask them about the Talise detox minibreak at Bab Al Shams desert resort. Superb.

Al Qasr, Al Sufouh, Dubai, 9am to 10pm. Tel: (04) 3666818. www.jumeirah.com/ talise

Superbly trained therapists are on hand to guide you from reception to relaxation.

There are separate menus for ladies and gents. Particularly recommended is the Jet Lag treatment.

You’d never expect this shrine to de-stressing to be mere minutes from The Dubai Mall.

It’s pricey, but worth it for the quality of treatments and snooze you’ll enjoy.

Quiet and luxurious, with quality added extras, this spa is a true sanctuary.

The Address Dubai Mall, Old Town, Dubai, 9am to 9pm. Tel: (04) 4388888. www.theaddress.com

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Spa, 11 Mandara Spa, One&Only y nl &O ne O 12 Royal Mirage tal, rContinen 13 Spa Inte ival City l Dubai Fest ntis ta en tin on la At InterC s, es tn Fi a& 14 ShuiQi Sp Grand Spa, 15 The Dubai Grand Hyatt

SPAS

Armani/Spa

THERAPISTS

The Spa

Armani/Spa

Lime Spa

The Nail Spa

Banyan Tree Al Wadi

Mandara Spa

THE SPA

11 MANDARA SPA Monarch Hotel, Sheikh Zayed Road Situated in the busy Monarch hotel, this spa is a world away from the business and conferences happening nearby. There’s a health club and pool, but the best reason to go is the lunch deal; occasionally they’ll team up with a neighbouring restaurant like Okku to offer a midweek meal and massage deal, usually a bargain at around Dhs350. The Monarch, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, 9am to 10pm. Tel: (04) 5018888

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

Experienced and elegant, the therapists will whisk you away from the daily grind into a cocoon of comfort.

Not the biggest in Dubai, but each treatment is well-chosen and effective, with a good selection of rituals for lengthy pampering.

The relaxation rooms overlook the lakes at the base of Burj Khalifa. This is high-quality spa real estate.

Average for a fivestar spa, but you get your money's worth with access to the relaxation and steam areas.

We adore the palm-lined pool and fab restaurants at The Palace. We'd move in if we could.

The Palace, Old Town, Dubai, 9am to 8pm. Tel: (04) 4287888. www.theaddress.com

An international mix of staff. We had a knot-busting South African. Impressive.

There’s no treatment menu as such, just book a time slot (from 90 minutes to a full day) and the therapist decides.

As stylish as you’d expect from Giorgio. It’s a sleek space with dark greys and clean lines. Very masculine indeed.

Not as bad as you fear, with 90 minutes costing Dhs650, up to Dhs2,500 for a full day.

The unique ‘decide for you’ approach is great for spa newbies.

Armani Hotel, Burj Khalifa, Old Town, Dubai, 9am to 9pm. Tel: (04) 8883888. www.dubai. armanihotels.com

Male and female therapists are available with extensive knowledge. They’re happy to answer questions, or just let you nod off.

The menu invites you to ‘drop your robe, cares and guard’. Cheeky. There are Anne Semonin and Eve Lom treatments, plus everything from ear candling to sculpting rituals.

Shared steam and sauna facilities make it an ideal destination for couples. We especially like the clever two-way windows so you can look out over the polo fields.

Mid-range, with a 60-minute Anne Semonin massage for Dhs450 and an hour of reflexology for Dhs395.

We thoroughly recommend a massage then steak at Rare restaurant.

Desert Palm, Al Awir Road, after International City, Dubai, 9am to 9pm. Tel: (04) 3238888. www.desertpalm.ae

Therapists are split between nail technicians and the nimble fingered ladies who will take you away to be massaged and treated to a facial.

Most services are nail based but there are private treatment rooms for waxing, facials and body treatments, which sets it apart from the competition.

There are branches across Dubai, but the star is the vast, newly opened Mercato spa. Banks of chairs, therapists everywhere, plus TVs to keep you entertained.

There are monthly promotions, and nail services are as expected (Dhs70 for a manicure) with a one-hour detox massage costing a mere Dhs250.

The spa at Banyan Tree is split in two; The Rainforest hydrotherapy area and the treatment rooms. The staff are fab throughout.

There is an Asianinspired menu, but we vote going for The Rainforest where you journey through various saunas and steamrooms.

It’s gigantic and utterly decadent, Well worth the drive to Ras Al Khaimah.

If you’re not a guest at the hotel, an hour in The Rainforest is Dhs77. Treatments are on the expensive side, but high quality.

' This month

we tried the paraffin pedicure – see page 88 for more.

Make a day of it with lunch or dinner at one of the hotel’s restaurants.

The Nail Spa, Mercato, Beach Road, Jumeriah, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3497766. www. thenailspa.com

Banyan Tree Al Wadi, Ras Al Khaimah, 10am to 10pm. Tel: (07) 2067777. www. banyantree.com

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BACKCHAT WITH CATBOY

Our man on the radio is twice the man he used to be…

I’m already off to a good start as I’ve been cycling to and from the Dubai 92 studio daily since Christmas. Last month (having just clocked-up over a 1,000 kilometres) I decided to turn up the heat with an hour on the bike It’s June already, and What’s On’s fitness every evening, too. I even took the brave, and special couldn’t be better timed – I’ve booked somewhat liberating, step of doing this in my summer holidays. A glorious five weeks (I Lycra. Let me offer you some advice. If you’re save them up) of not getting up at 4am. Bliss. thinking of doing this, make sure you put on As usual, I’ve got to see my family back in the Lycra close enough to your front door Sheffield and, as usual, I am already well into so that you don’t pass any mirrors. Should my annual panic about everyone thinking this happen, no matter how good you think I’ve got fatter since last year. I was such a you’re going to look, you’ll still want to kill skinny runt until my late 20s when, coinciyourself. dentally, I moved away from my hometown. I’ve also been on a vitamin regimen. Loads There’s no way my relatives and friends of ‘em. Pick a letter of the alphabet and I bet haven’t had that conversation behind my I’m taking it… Bs, Cs, Ds, multi-Vs, Omega back... “Ooh… Isn’t he big now”. Every year I 3s… I’d go so far as to say I’m necking more add fuel to the fire. pills than The Happy Mondays on a weekend This year, I’m having a week in Scotland in Amsterdam. I even considered getting mywith my parents. Due to Scotland’s inclement self one of those day-of-the-week tablet boxes climate, there’s not much chance of me having that Alzheimer’s sufferers carry, so as not to my shirt off – or my thermals – but you never forget my daily dose. know. So, I’ve set myself the target of shifting As far as food goes, I’m going low-carb and some flab before then. I’m being very strict about it. I’ve become a

dab hand in the kitchen at taking apparently tasteless, cardboard ingredients and whipping them into something almost edible. I do allow myself one day off per week as a treat day. Imagine if King Henry VIII had taken-up competitive eating. Well, that’s me on treat day. My insides, which have seen nothing but rice cakes and salad for most of the week, don’t know what’s hit them. A tsunami of junk that would make Elvis Presley’s breakfast look like a SlimFast granola bar. On treat day, I’ve even caught my cats with a protective paw across their bowls, in case I get a hankering for Whiskers… Which, let’s face it, is not too far removed from a late-night kebab served from a refurbed ambulance. The good news is I’ve lost 4kgs so far. I don’t know if it’s from the diet, the exercise or the excess arteries that were removed after the quadruple bypass. Catboy hosts the Catboy & Geordiebird Breakfast Show, Sun to Thurs, 6am to 10am, Dubai 92. www.dubai92.com

NEXT MONTH: TWENTY-FIVE THINGS TO DO THIS SUMMER, ICE CREAM TESTED AND DUBAI’S BEST POOL HALLS 130 WHAT’S ON JUNE 2011

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Magazine: Whats On (AE)

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Edition: 1.6.2011