Guide to Life in Modiin and Beyond
Winter 2017 | 5778 | Volume 15, Issue 1 | FREE
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Dear Readers George Bernard Shaw once said, “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” People make mistakes all the time. That is the best way to learn so that the next time you will do better. Some mistakes can be corrected easily with an eraser and some cannot be corrected at all. In the last issue, we made a mistake. Oren Ben-Ami wrote an article about the Israel U12 Team winning the Tuscany Series Championship and we placed the wrong picture with the article. Mistakes happen. We apologize for the error. Here is the picture of the winning team that did not make it into the previous magazine. Congratulations again to the team!
TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S 6 The Ups and Downs of Chanukah 8 Entrepreneurship for Olim Integration 12 Staying Close to a Loved One with Alzheimer’s 14 Israel Audiobook Project 18 An Aliyah Story: Tamar & Jeremy Lustman 22 Australian and New Zealand Pride 26 It's Just a Little Sore Throat, Go to School 28 7 Tips to Market and Brand Your Business
You r Fa vori Mob te ile S tore and Lab !
30 Behind the Business: L.I.A.D Garage 32 Swimming with the Current/ Against the Tide 34 An Open Letter to a Proud Man 36 Meet Council Member Gaby Edery 38 ADHD Diagnosis Confirmed - Now What? 40 Child Custody Following Divorce Mistakes can also lead to new beginnings. In this issue, Oded Harti shares with us how he rebuilt his business after a fire consumed his garage. Shay Taubes gives helpful tips on how to brand yourself and your business. Raphael Schondorf discusses the benefits of therapy. Wishing everyone a safe and warm winter. Chanukah Sameach! Rachel and Caryn
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ModiInfo is an independently owned, advertiser supported publication distributed quarterly to Modiin and the surrounding neighborhoods. ModiInfo welcomes all articles and ads but reserves the right to edit or reject submissions. The views expressed by writers and contributors are not necessarily those of ModiInfo. ModiInfo is not responsible for facts or claims made by ads or authors, nor for any typographical errors and or photo submissions. Work produced by ModiInfo is the property of ModiInfo and may not be reproduced without consent. ModiInfo does not take responsibility for the translations that were made in the magazine. Photo stock images purchased from Storyblocks and Shutterstock.
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The Ups and Downs of Chanukah By: Dr. Julie Goldstein A century after the Hasmoneans vanquished the armies of the Seleucid Empire, rival factions faced off once again over the issue of sanctity and oil. This time, however, the war was a Milhama shel Torah (War of Torah) as Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai famously debated whether to count up or down when lighting the candles (Shabbat 42b). Beit Shammai held that we should start by displaying a fully resplendent eight-candled menorah and gradually decrease as we reach the last days of Chanukah. After all, the Hasmoneans who lit the Menorah in the Beit HaMikdash kindled all the branches of the Menorah straightaway. The miracle was that the droplets of oil on that first day possessed the astonishing power to last for over a week, tapering off incrementally as the nights wore on: On the first night, they contained the potential to last eight nights; on the second, they had the power to last seven nights, and so on. Beit Shammai’s ruling follows from a view of the miracle as a process of descent from an initial blast of massive potential, a measured waning of inexplicably concentrated power. Beit Hillel, on the other hand, argues for an increase in the number of candles as the chag progresses, positing that the miracle was not in the potency of that initial blazing oil cache but in the physical daily endurance of the flames, each day being a miracle unto itself. Our method of lighting the menorah conveys and celebrates the story of an ascending miracle, one in which each day offers an additional encounter with the Divine. This debate reflects a deeper philosophical argument regarding the pursuit of sanctity (Sefer Moadim B’Halacha). Beit Shammai’s vision suggests a path toward kedusha (sanctity) which begins with an exaggerated perception of one’s capabilities, a view of the human being as a fully resplendent repository of potential, which steadily calibrates to correspond with reality. This approach begins with “what can be” and is downward-oriented in practice, a process of whittling to a point of precision. Conversely, Beit Hillel suggests being ma’alim ba-kodesh (ascending to holiness), recognizing existing empirical abilities at the outset and building upon them as time passes. In this view, the acquisition of kedusha focuses on what exists in reality or “what is,” and is a constructive, escalating developmental process. The difference between Hillel and Shammai’s positions may lie at the core of their personalities and approaches to spirituality, as reflected in the well-known passage about a gentile who asked them to explain the entire Torah “on one foot” (Shabbat 31a). Hillel’s famous response, “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow,” proclaims that all of Torah involves an encounter with the Other, the individual expanding horizons and building something greater than herself.
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Equally compelling is Shammai’s response – simply shooing the gentile away with a yardstick. On the surface, Rashi’s statement that Shammai used a yardstick because it was a tool of his trade as a builder, seems simple and perhaps superfluous. Why would we need to know that Shammai regularly used a ruler? A deeper reading gives us insight into Shammai’s modus operandi. Whether inside or outside the Beit Midrash, Shammai used measuring tools, subjecting all material to precise standards and criteria of analysis. As an exacting man, he could not entertain the question posed by the gentile. The entirety of Torah cannot be reduced to a sound-bite, but can be known only through a rigorous process of study. While the nature of practices in other chagim may align with Beit Shammai’s approach, halacha adopts Beit Hillel’s theory of expansion when it comes to ner Chanukah. Why? Because faced with complex choices between allegiance to faith and the incorporation of Hellenistic ideals, the rallying cry of the Hasmoneans, “Mi la-Hashem elai (Whosoever is for God to me),” roused the Jewish people to reignite their commitment to the Torah and its way of life, to be maalim be-kodesh. This was a theological call for the thrusting out of Greek life through a process of galvanization of the Jewish spirit from within, rather than an eradication of the evil forces outside, and the Jews acquired an internal victory when they won the war. Chanukah, therefore, is a holiday which focuses on the internal, individual “building-up” of kedusha. As we light the candles in our home, in accordance with the ruling of Beit Hillel, we respond to potentially destructive and indestructible forces by building up sanctity within ourselves. Dr. Julie Goldstein is the founder and director of Amudim, a new innovative, Modern Orthodox gap-year program in Modiin. After teaching young women in American high schools for 17 years, taking some time to complete her doctorate and post-doc, teach at the university level and conduct research in the field of medieval Jewish history, Dr. Goldstein crafted a vision for a program that would raise the intellectual discourse when it comes to Judaic studies, speak to the big existential questions that students have today, and cater to young women as critical thinkers who can contribute to the conversation about Jewish texts and ideas. Fusing modern scholarship and traditional Talmud Torah, Amudim stands at the forefront of advanced Torah education, addressing the needs and expectations of a motivated cadre of young women seeking to look beyond the “what” to explore the “whys” and “hows” of Torah, Jewish thought and culture. www.amudimisrael.org
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Entrepreneurship for Olim Integration By: Yaniv Ben-Yosef
Israel is known as a high-tech powerhouse – a title we have acquired honorably that undoubtedly serves as a source of national pride. But alongside this technological success story, in Israel, as in other countries, the backbone of the economy and the decisive factor in its growth are small and medium-sized businesses and entrepreneurs in traditional industries. Although they often remain out of the limelight and are less familiar to the public, they are truly the big winners in terms of the number of jobs they supply and their contribution to Israel’s GNP. Over the past few years, in a labor market that is changing largely as a result of technological progress, we recognize the tendency of business entrepreneurship to serve as a realistic alternative to traditional salaried employment. This
means that in the not so distant future, job seekers will become job creators (entrepreneurs). Studies show that in the future employment world, the percentage of salaried employees will decline and that the percentage of business owners, entrepreneurs and freelancers will rise concomitantly. Addressing these employment market trends, we may identify several types of people who tend to become entrepreneurs. The first consists of those with an innate entrepreneurial drive, who dreamed of starting an independent business since their earliest days in the employment world. The second group, that has been increasing steadily in recent years, may be called “entrepreneurs against their will,” including employees dismissed Continued on page 10
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from their jobs or whose skills are no longer relevant – the 40-year-olds who find it difficult to integrate into the labor market as employees. The city of Modiin has recently welcomed olim from many countries. In parallel to this influx, there has been an increase in entrepreneurs and fledgling independent business owners. It is customary to address two types of barriers that entrepreneurs encounter when setting up their businesses: Lack of business knowledge and experience and difficulty financing business activity. Furthermore, new olim interested in establishing independent businesses face numerous additional obstacles, including the language barrier, differences in mentality, a new and unfamiliar banking system, Israeli bureaucracy and more. Although many of the olim possess vast experience in their countries of origin, they still find that establishing a business in Israel is not at all easy. MATI Jerusalem provides olim entrepreneurs (up to 10 years in Israel) with a wide range of services for the establishment and
promotion of businesses, thanks to subsidies received from the Ministry of Aliyah and Integration. The olim toolbox includes close mentoring by consultants from business idea evaluation through financial planning, marketing and sales, along with a variety of workshops concentrating on various aspects of the entrepreneurial world, as well as unique financing options. All services are offered in a wide range of languages to accommodate audiences that are not fluent in Hebrew. There is no doubt that entrepreneurship and business establishment are a great challenge for everyone. The challenge is even more formidable for the new olim population because of language and cultural differences. Business success and the ability to earn a respectable livelihood contributes greatly to better adjustment and optimal integration in Israel, in general and in Modiin, in particular. To inquire about business promotion in Modiin, request benefit packages for olim, and address other business related issues, please visit our website at english.mati.org.il Yaniv Ben Yosef is the director of Business Consultation Department at the Jerusalem Business Development Center.
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Staying Close to a Loved One with Alzheimer’s
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“Stop yelling at me!” You close your eyes. Once, not so long ago, but now far, far away, you had a loving, close, sharing relationship with the person in front of you. And now…, every time your tone gets even a little emphatic she accuses you of yelling at her. She has sudden, angry outbursts – often directed at you. She can’t remember what you said a week, a day or five minutes ago. How can you carry on a conversation, let alone maintain your relationship? Understanding your new relationship Before we go into practical tips and strategies, we have to lay out the reality. It’s a reality that is disappointing – but simultaneously liberating. Your relationship WON’T be the same as it always was – but it can still be beautiful and fulfilling. If you hang on to your picture of how your loved one and your relationship used to be, you’ll be perpetually frustrated and disappointed. Your loved one is traveling a new road now. You can only traverse it safely and successfully together if you update your expectations. Don’t get us wrong. This is not easy. You will need time to mourn the loss of what used to be, and invest the time to gain strength to accept and develop what is now. It’s time to reframe your relationship, and help you find the beauty in the different kind of connection you can now begin to build. Building your new relationship Your old relationship may have been heavily based on conversations, verbal intimacy and sharing. When a loved one has Alzheimer’s, however, verbal interaction can generally no longer serve as the basis of connection. While it may take time, you can find and explore other means of connection: Touch Experiences: trips to museums, parks or the zoo Art: pictures can evoke memories and emotions, there are even beautiful picture books on the market today especially for adults with Alzheimer’s Music: familiar music from when they were younger, or even music in general can have a powerful impact on adults with dementia. Listening to music together or singing together can be a connective experience Reading: especially familiar passages from when they were younger Whatever method you choose to try, realize and begin to embrace that your primary communication will now be emotional: the language of the heart, showing them they are loved. Giving your relationship the best chance As you come to accept and appreciate the nature of your new 12
relationship, you’ll become aware that in order to make the most of it, you may need to change old styles of communication and interaction. These changes can make a big difference. Behavioral changes Make eye contact and call your loved one by name. Be aware of your tone – try to speak warmly, calmly and matter-of-factly. Don’t talk to your loved one using “baby talk” or “baby voice.” Be aware of how loud your voice is – try to speak more softly. Hold your loved one’s hand while you talk. Don’t interrupt. Do not argue, especially over a forgotten memory; be willing to let things go. Be patient with angry outbursts. It’s the illness – and the frustration of feeling that life as they knew it is slipping away from them. Verbal changes Offer simple, step-by-step instructions. Repeat instructions and allow more time for a response. Instead of open-ended questions, ask questions that require a yes or no answer. Limit the number of choices. Use different words if he or she doesn’t understand the first time. Avoid saying, “Don’t you remember?” or “I told you.” It will take a while until these changes become second nature. Be patient with yourself. And with your loved one. New horizons Letting go of the old, familiar face of your relationship and walking a new path can be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. For those who try it, however, the experience can open new vistas not only in the development of your relationship with your loved one, but also in your relationship with yourself. We won’t say it’s not an end. It is. But it is also a beginning. Sharon Beth-Halachmy is CEO of B’Lev Shalem, a life care management company for seniors in Israel. She and her Care Management Team address the full spectrum of needs unique to seniors in Israel, from the routine of daily living to medical oversight, community and advocacy. B’Lev Shalem’s expert Care Managers are available 24/7, ensuring maximum quality of life for seniors and peace of mind for their families. For more information www.blevshalem.com, email info@blevshalem.com or phone (054)746-9467.
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Israel Audiobook Project Our Story By: Rashi Kuhr
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had a problem. I have always been thirsty for knowledge and liked to learn, but my reading was slow and tiring. I always read, but I would take a really long time to complete a book. But about 15 years ago my life changed. The advent of the iPod along with the proliferation of digital audiobooks made it easy and convenient to listen to audiobooks. I started listening during my commute to work, while cleaning, cooking and shopping; I went from a person who reads a book a month, to someone who “reads” one to two books per week. It felt great. I work as a school psychologist. Most days, I assess kids who are smart, talented and curious, but for whom reading is an obstacle to their success. I sit in meetings with these struggling students, along with their teachers, guidance counselors and principals; everyone, in their turn, admonishes the students: “You
need to read in your free time,” “Read for x minutes a day” or “Read for pleasure.” I know how they read, and in many cases, although the reading needs to reach a functional level, it will never be pleasurable. I know that there is another way to enjoy books and wanted these kids to gain access to the world of books through audiobooks. I would refer parents to the library for the blind, but the legally mandated process was slow, cumbersome and expensive; the process got stuck and the idea abandoned. There was a need for a way to give kids instant access to audiobooks in order to show them how great they are. The first step was to recruit my tech savvy, super-efficient friend, Moshe Saltzman. We decided that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was the perfect book to demonstrate the power and joy of a great book. We approached Roald Dahl’s family and asked how much it would cost to buy the rights to the book in order to Continued on page 16
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distribute it, free of charge, to all students in Special Education and learning disabled students in Israel. They were excited to participate, and gave a price that was a fraction of what we thought it would cost. We then needed to get the rights to the translation from the Israeli publishing house Kinnert Zmorah Bitan. We were sure that they would try to gouge us, however they shocked us by donating the translation rights. We wanted our books accessible to Arab speaking students as well, so we reached out to Almanarah, the association for Arab persons with disabilities and created a partnership where in, they will produce the books in Arabic that we create in Hebrew. And so Israel Audiobook Project was born. We expanded our volunteer staff to include a Special Education supervisor, a teacher and a marketing writer and established ourselves as a chesed project of Amutat Darchai Noam. We have benefited from the resources and talents of countless people both locally and from around the country. Last year our project was adopted by teachers all over Israel and thousands of kids experienced their first audiobook.
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We now have six books available on our site: www.israelaudiobookproject.org. We have classics, new titles, as well as a favorite of Charedi readers. More are on the way, and we are striving to copy the PJ Library model and provide a book per month to Special Education and reading disabled students throughout the year. We need your help for the project to reach its potential. Around 200,000 kids are eligible for our free audiobooks, but only a tiny fraction know about our project. Please help us spread the word! If you know anyone with reading disabilities, please have their parents or teachers contact us to get the password for our books. Rashi Kuhr is a school psychologist and Director of Israel Audiobook Project. He can be reached at rashikuhr@gmail.com or 052-263-8606. Visit the Israel Audiobook Project website: www.Israelaudiobookproject.org.
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An Aliyah Story: Tamar & Jeremy Lustman
I grew up in Silver Spring, Maryland with my parents and brothers. Silver Spring was a wonderful community to grow up in. It was not too big, not too small, just right. It boasted many shuls, hundreds of young families, and solid day schools. I was active in Bnei Akiva and always had a fond feeling about one day visiting Israel. Jeremy grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, just a short distance from me. He was raised in a loving home with his parents and sister, as well as grandparents and cousins nearby. Baltimore too was a wonderful upbringing for Jeremy. We met each other in high school and became fast friends. Both of us, naturally, knew that we wanted to spend the year after high school studying in yeshiva/seminary in Israel. We both ended up spending the better part of two years here, and it was during this time that our individual love for Israel flourished and our interest
in making it a central component of our life (not yet knowing what that would be) developed. As nature took its course, we both continued in our previously laid out plans, both returning to the US for our studies at Yeshiva University. We came back to Israel as often as we could (or our savings would allow), during college and then later with our young children. Once we were married, we set down our roots in Maryland, naturally, as both sides of our families were there. We felt good about our position in our community (Silver Spring), and valued the upbringing that we were giving to our children. It felt very comfortable and very much in line with our own respective childhoods. But we continued to visit Israel every few years, and started noticing that on each visit, more of our friends and more contacts in our network were moving here. No longer was it visiting
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old family friends who moved here in the 70s and were living on various kibbutzim or moshavim around the country. Now we were visiting our own peers in Ra’anana, Zichron Yaakov, Jerusalem, Modiin, Efrat, Beit Shemesh, and of course, Chashmonaim. And the feeling that we could make a life here, get jobs, and be surrounded by friends, started becoming more attainable. Little did we know at the time, but each of these visits was a mini pilot trip – seeing a new community or two, asking various questions that moved from which tourist attractions to visit to how do you possibly manage a budget in this country (still trying to figure that one out!), and slowly building enough internal confidence that cumulatively brought us to early 2009. The global economy during that time was worse than it had probably been in the last 20 years. Lehman Brothers had cratered, the mortgage markets were in crisis, credit was completely dried up, and anyone involved in the world of corporate/transactional activity (including Jeremy, who, at the time, was a senior corporate associate at a large international law firm) either had lost their job or was at significant risk of doing so. At the same time, an opportunity presented itself for us to take a short vacation in midFebruary, but we had not yet decided on the destination. We gave ourselves that particular weekend to figure it out. On that Shabbat day, Hashem sent us what we consider an unmistakable sign. We received two separate invitations to smachot that were to take place in Israel during that very week. If we were already going away, “might as well” make it a trip to Israel and participate in these special occasions. “Read the signs” we always told ourselves. In hindsight, it was the craziest time to go away, in the midst of turmoil back home. But at the same time, that crisis sparked a whole new level of consideration and reflection during that trip. How is the economy faring in Israel? What is the job market like? How would another attorney from the US join the ranks of one of the most over-lawyered markets in the world? That trip gave Jeremy the confidence to pursue the possibility within his law 20
firm, DLA Piper, of spending a year here on their behalf. And to our amazement, and with various additional “coincidences” in play, the stars aligned for us to come just a few months later (August 2009) for a “year adventure” with our three kids (ages nine, six, and four, at the time). Our children’s lives have been exponentially enriched by living in the Jewish homeland, while maintaining strong bonds with family and friends abroad. They have each navigated well through normal challenges of being olim, and we are very proud of them. Our oldest daughter, Merav, who is in 12th grade, is an active volunteer at Shalva and MADA. She is now deciding how to best serve her country beginning in the fall. Our middle child, Avital, is an avid gymnast and loves volunteering with young children. And our youngest child, Ranan, enjoys singing in his school choir (Mesuat Neriah) and playing baseball in the IAB league. On the business front, Jeremy started his law practice here knocking on doors and building up a network meeting by meeting. And being grateful for the small breaks he caught along the way, which slowly turned into some early business opportunities. Now, fortunately, he oversees a vibrant practice that represents over 50 Israeli companies a month in connection with their business activities around the world (his firm has offices in over 55 countries!). He serves as an ambassador within his firm for all things connected to Israel, whether outbound, or foreign clients looking to transact business here. After settling the children, in 2010, I opened up Candy Corner, together with my close friend Rahel Yaish. What started out as a small Chashmonaim-based candy business where people ordered trays to bring to their friends for a shabbos meal, has blossomed into a dynamic online website (www.candycornerisrael.com) where people from around the world order gifts to be delivered to their family and friends in Israel. Eight years later, we feel so blessed to call Israel, and specifically Chashmonaim our home! Ta m a r c a n b e r e a c h e d a t 0 5 2 - 6 1 6 - 3 4 3 3 o r a t candycorner1@gmail.com. Jeremy can be reached at 0 5 2 - 6 1 6 - 9 8 1 8 o r j e r e m y. l u s t m a n @ d l a p i p e r. c o m .
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Australian and New Zealand Pride By: Ilana Cohen Australian Israelis don’t often get a chance to feel pride in both nationalities simultaneously but October 31, 2017 was perhaps the ultimate opportunity. The centenary of the Battle of Be’er Sheva (or the Battle of Beer Sheba – I think Aussies think that a place that has “Beer” in its name is worth fighting for) was a game-changer in World War I for the British forces. Notably, the Anzacs – the Australia New Zealand Army Corp – who up until then had made little progress in the third Battle of Gaza, tried to gain (what was then) Palestine from the control of the Ottoman Empire. In a surprise move, beginning as the sun was going down, the Australian Light 4th H o r s e Regiment attacked 3 Ottoman forces in their trenches, forcing them to retreat, thereby seizing the town of Beer Sheva. This enabled the British Forces to break the Ottoman line near Gaza the following week and advance into Palestine. This charge is thought to be the last successful cavalry charge in history but the Light Horse Regiments were not supposed to fight on horseback. They were mounted infantry. This was thought to be the last chance before they and their horses started to dehydrate – they were out of water – and so they improvised. On October 31, exactly one hundred years since this battle, the Australian government with cooperation from the City of Beer Sheva, commemorated the centenary with a full day in Beer Sheva, following in the footsteps of the Anzacs. The day started in the Beer Sheva British Military Cemetery with a military ceremony conducted by the Australian and New Zealand military, attended by the Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull; the New Zealand Governor, General Patsy Reddy; as well as Israeli Prime Minister, Binyamin Netanyahu (who Malcolm Turnbull
consistently referred to as “Bibi” – they are good mates). Following the ceremony, there was a parade through the streets of Be’er Sheva of about 140 “Light Horse” soldiers who had completed three days of following the Anzac Trail. Then there was a re-enactment, in slow motion (as they walked the horses) of the Charge of the Light Horse at Beer Sheva River Park which is the site of the actual charge. The Park of the Australian Soldier was the last venue of the day. Inaugurated by Jeanne Pratt and her late husband, Mr. Richard Pratt z”l in 2008, the Park of the Australian Soldier was established in memory of the Light Horse Regiments. The mostly Australian and New Zealand crowd, including the dignitaries, were then treated to a BBQ generously sponsored by Mrs. Jeanne Pratt of the Pratt Foundation. She knows how to make a bunch of Australians happy and everyone is still talking about the lamb chops which were rumored to have come from Australia. An army band played a string of Australian classics including popular World War I songs, “Click Go the Shears” and some “Cold Chisel.” I was a very happy person. The atmosphere of the day changed between solemn and emotional to a festive feel. As an Australian, to see the soldiers on horseback parading down the street bearing the Australian, New Zealand and Israeli flags together filled me with pride and happiness. When the prime ministers of Israel and Australia spoke at the ceremony, each expressed a very high level of respect and admiration for the other’s country. The last thing we did before we sat down to that amazing barbie, was to sing “Advance Australia Fair” and “Hatikva,” one after the other. If I knew the New Zealand national anthem I may have sung that too.
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It’s Just a Little Sore Throat, Go to School By: Dr. Kevin Schreiber In the winter children are frequently sick with runny noses, sore throat and fevers. Parents frequently contemplate whether there is a need to take a trip to the doctor, or whether it is just a cold and will go away by itself. So when should you suspect that it is not just a cold and may be something more serious? Strep throat, or as it’s usually called in England, tonsillitis, is an infection caused by bacteria called Streptococcus. There are several different types of this bacteria, but only one strain is concerning – group A Strep. So why do we care about Strep throat? The problem with Strep is that there are some children that will go undiagnosed and these children are at risk for developing complications. Early detection is not crucial, but accurate diagnosis is paramount. Children may even say they are feeling better, but if not taken for medical care, a Strep infection may be missed, and may be dangerous. Classically, children will complain of their throat hurting, fever and pain with swallowing. There is usually no associated cough. It is important to remember that with Strep throat, these symptoms are just the tip of the iceberg. Children may commonly also complain of neck pain, earaches, headaches or stomachaches. If a child has multiple strep infections, parents are frequently aware of other complaints that their child states such as: bad breath, changes in behavior or crankiness. When a parent suspects that their child may have Strep, it definitely warrants further investigation. When you arrive at your doctor, he will examine your child and make a determination if there is a need to check for Strep. Unfortunately, Strep cannot be diagnosed visually. A throat exam could look horrible with swollen tonsils, redness and pus, yet this may not truly represent a Strep infection. The only way to know for sure is to do laboratory testing. There are two types of tests available today. The classic test is a throat culture sent to the laboratory with results in one to two days. This catches all children with an infection. There is also a “rapid” Strep test where there is an answer in about 10 minutes. It is very convenient having an answer in 10 minutes, but it misses about 5-7 % of the kids with Strep. If this test is performed and the results are normal, a follow up laboratory test must be sent for confirmation. Each doctor has their own preference which type of test they prefer. 26
When a child is diagnosed with Strep throat, their doctor will prescribe antibiotics to treat the infection. Strep needs to be treated with antibiotics even if symptoms are improving. As opposed to other infections where watchful waiting may be considered acceptable treatment such as ear infections, urinary infections and even mild cases of pneumonia, this is not the case with Strep. Untreated Strep infections can have dire consequences. Initially all seems okay, but after two to three weeks, complications may arise. These complications include heart disease, kidney problems and joint disorders and may have lifelong effects, therefore it is important to avoid these unnecessary medical problems. Of note, these complications are very uncommon in children younger than three years old and adults over 40 years old. The question frequently arises, if your child has multiple Strep infections, should they have their tonsils removed. Fifty years ago, ear, nose and throat (ENT) doctors would remove children’s tonsils even after two or three infections. Over the years, a more conservative approach has been adopted. Most ENT doctors will not even consider an operation unless they are having at least five to six strep infections in a year. If a child has frequent Strep infections, consultation with an ENT doctor is probably a wise decision. A discussion of Strep would not be complete without addressing the concept of the carrier state. This can sometimes be a confusing topic, but it is really quite simple. Occasionally Strep does not cause an infection or any symptoms, but rather finds a warm, moist place to live. It does not cause pain or any other symptoms and there is no risk of complications. The problem is that this individual can infect others in their proximity. If it seems that people in the family are constantly getting Strep infections, your doctor may need to consider checking everyone in the family to try and find a carrier who might be infecting others. Parents frequently ask about prevention. There is no true way to prevent Strep infections. As with many childhood illnesses, the most important aspect is hygiene. Good handwashing practices, covering your mouth when you cough and sneeze, and not sharing food utensils is the formula for a healthier winter! Dr. Kevin Schreiber is a pediatric emergency medicine physician. He and his wife, Dr. Elisheva Schreiber, are available for rapid Strep testing, 050-2685326 sms only.
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7 Tips to Market and Brand Your Business By: Shay Taubes How people 2. Find the
Business is about people. view businesses lies in the branding and marketing. For the last five years, I have been advising clients and practically living the world of actual brand building and marketing. Listed below are helpful tips for marketing and branding that are suitable for both businesses and individuals. Think and plan before you act. Most businesses start with the 1. “doing” part and spend a lot of time, energy and money just to find out later on that they are not moving in the right direction for them and/or their potential clients. They invest a lot of energy, but at the end of the month they look back and find out that they didn’t progress at all, maybe even just the opposite. They are exhausted, frustrated and unhappy. Set your goal before you begin so that you work in the right direction.
3.
area that combines your passion, skills and knowledge, at least on the basic level. You always can and should advance your knowledge, abilities and skill level, but you should start in the very place that will enable you to get up every morning, no matter what. You need to have the inner motivation and energy (what I like to call “our inner combustion engine”) to act, as the Nike slogan urges you to “Just Do It” with determination and consistency. When your starting point makes you feel invigorated and fulfilled – especially when it is beneficial to others (the main reason for most businesses) – you’ll want to learn more, not because you are compelled to, but because it interests you and because it is important for you. Raise your standards. If you want to be successful, start acting right now as the person you want to be. Talk, dress and act like the person you want to be and what will happen sooner or later? That’s right – you will become that person. You will
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become that business. So, choose wisely and work at it all day, every day. 4. Find the right marketing tool for you and your business. Turn off what I call the “Auto Pilot” mode – the “things” that “everybody” says that everybody is doing or should do, for example, Facebook, google, websites, etc. All of these are great marketing and advertising channels, but are they the best media for you? Is it possible that investing time, energy and money in alternative channels will produce more for you? More clients? Better brand awareness? Better reputation? Better results? You should examine this from an objective point of view. You need to disconnect from all the “Auto Pilots” in order to do so. Disconnect! 5. Don’t be afraid to be different, to think different and to be yourself. Be unique, be interesting, be better. Think of all the successful people, businesses and entrepreneurs – what do they all have in common? They thought or did things in a different way. Think about it. 6. Appearance is essential. Most businesses don’t have a lot of money when they are first starting out. They must invest money while at the same time they’re not earning enough. In fact, many businesses are not profitable in the first two to three years (and you should prepare for that in advance). Many businesses try to save money and do everything themselves. This is a healthy way of thinking, in general, but there are
some things that you can’t skimp on, and one of them is your appearance. If you don’t look good enough (from a client’s or a potential client’s point of view), let alone if you don’t engage as you should with your client (and there are plenty of creative ways to do so) you reduce your chances to succeed significantly. Pay attention to how you look, and how you make your clients and customers feel with every interaction they have with your brand – digitally, socially and physically. Be the person and the business that you want to be. 7. The last, but not least, thing is that “we don’t attract the thing we want; we attract who we are” and that stems from your marking and branding. Use these tips to build your successful brand. Good luck. Five years ago, on October 2012, at the age of 35, Shay Taubes left a successful 13-year career in the communication industry to leap into the unknown in order to launch his marketing agency, “Integral.” Since then, he has advised hundreds of businesses and companies in the fields of brand building, strategy, marketing and creativity and earned a reputation as the local marketing mentor. He is also a sought-out lecturer and this year his workshop, “From a business to a successful brand,” will open in Modiin. Contact Shay at 050-6361363; Service@i-group.co.il; i-group.co.il.
Nicole Levin Law Offices Nicole Levin Law Offices A Bilingual Law Firm
Nicole Levin (Adv.) The firm deals with real estate transactions, real estate taxes, urban renewal and the preservation of historical buildings. The office also deals with wills and estates.
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Blog: www.israelpropertyinvestment.com TheIsraeliRealEstateMaze nicolelevinlawoffices twitter.com/levinlaw
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Behind the Business: L.I.A.D. Garage aka Oded the Mechanic By: Rachel Kops and Car yn Meltz
Oded Harti of L.I.A.D. Garage is known to many in the Englishspeaking community in Modiin. From a young age, Oded knew that he wanted to work with his hands. His father was a carpenter and being exposed to that environment, Oded always enjoyed taking everything apart only to rebuild it again. He grew up in a rough neighborhood in Jerusalem and never enjoyed the school environment. He attended an army high school which was located on an army base in Ramallah. There he acquired skills to become a mechanic. When he drafted into the army, wanting only to be placed in a combat unit, Oded got what he asked for and was, in fact, placed in the paratrooper unit. However, minutes after he got on the army bus headed toward base, he was pulled off and put in Gedud Charuv (known today as Kfir). Due to his skills, the army decided that he would instead serve as an army mechanic. After several months he was able to relocate to a place where he could perform combat activities in addition to executing his other responsibilities. The day after being released from the army, he started working for a garage in Jerusalem. He quickly realized that being a mechanic in the real world was very different from the army. He had a lot to learn and was eager to develop additional skills. After learning the ropes in Jerusalem, he moved to a garage in Gush Etzion where he was able to specialize in even more areas. During this time, Oded met his wife, Anat, at the beach through mutual friends. They got married in 2003 and moved to Modiin in 2005. He worked and managed a kibbutz garage before opening his own place in Mattityahu in 2013 – L.I.A.D. Garage – the initials of his children, Lior, Yuval, Amit and Daniel. Anat was working in informal education before joining Oded in the business. It was Anat’s cousin, an English speaker from Modiin, who was Oded’s first client, followed shortly by Dov Newmark, also a Modiin resident. From there with the help of warm recommendations, his reputation among the English speakers became a household name. Today, 95 percent of his clients are English speakers and Oded’s English has improved tremendously over the years. Oded had dreams of moving to a bigger and nicer garage, but a decent and affordable space was hard to find. Everything changed on July 3, 2017 at 5:25pm when Oded was sitting in a class in Tel Aviv. His phone incessantly buzzed with messages and phone calls. He realized something was wrong so he answered the phone and was told by the business owner next door to him, “No point in coming to work tomorrow, but you should come now…your garage is on fire.” He called Anat, zoomed back to Mattityahu and saw the smoke from the highway.
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When Oded arrived at his garage at 6:00pm and witnessed the uncontrollable fire, he was in a state of shock. He sat on the side and cried. He kept thinking about all his clients’ cars that were inside and totaled. It was a long night. When he finally got inside his garage, he couldn’t believe what he saw. Everything was destroyed in the fire; there was nothing left intact except for a handful of tools. He spent the week dealing with lawyers and insurance assessors. Plus it took over a month to completely extinguish the fire. The next week, he started working out of a garage in Shilat and then moved over to Shlomi Garage back in Mattityahu. The owner, Shlomi Yonah, was more than happy to provide Oded with a place to work and be able to do a mitzvah for another in time of need. Oded is grateful to Shlomi for inviting him into his garage to work and have his own clients without asking for anything in return. Oded raves about the support he received from his clients from the moment the fire erupted. People wanted to help in every capacity
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possible, whether it be by donating money so that their kids could go to summer camp, by cooking meals, and by helping with bar mitzvah preparations for their son a week after the fire. Both Oded and Anat received hundreds of WhatsApp messages every day. Associates, friends and family were amazed by the outpour of support from his clients. Before chag, Oded found an envelope with a large sum of money with an anonymous note stating “we’re with you.” Left speechless, Anat and Oded are incredibly grateful and wish they knew the identity so that they can repay the kindness. The tremendous ongoing support from his clients has given him the strength to rebuild his garage and to continue to serve the community. Oded Harti is open for business at his new garage in the Mattityahu Industrial Area. Tel 050-5477869.
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Swimming with the Current/ Against the Tide By: Yehuda Razin I couldn’t believe it – there are so many poor families near us in Modiin that don’t even have food. I decided to do something about it. For my bar mitzvah project, I decided to raise money to help feed these families, working with the Feed the Families project in Modiin. It’s hard to believe, but within five minutes of our homes, there are approximately 500 families, many of whom are on welfare, who desperately need our help. Their children sometimes go to bed hungry (can you believe, in Modiin??) and many have a hard time, financially, putting a proper chag meal on the table. How did they get to this point? They may have had a health issue, or a job loss, or simply a change in circumstance. It doesn’t matter – they need our help. Feed the Families provides holiday meals for the neediest of these families.
My family has a tradition, for each of our bar/bat mitzvah’s, to take on a “chesed” project. We work to raise money for people who are less fortunate. But, how was I, only 12 years old, to raise money? I mean, it costs a lot of money to feed these families. I spoke to my dad about it and we decided to swim an 800 m race in the Mediterranean. We figured that we would get sponsors to donate money when I finished it and, in this way, would raise the money.
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Once we made these decisions, the preparations began. My dad and I started swim training, and made calls to family to donate. We swam a couple of times per week to get into shape. When the day was getting close, my dad and I drove up to Netanya, where the race was being held. We stayed at a hotel the night before, but couldn’t even stay up late, as we had a wake-up call for 5:30 a.m. to get to the race early. I was really excited, and REALLY nervous. Why nervous, you wonder? Well, first, 800 m in the open Mediterranean is a LONG way. Also, we had to be at the beach at 7 a.m. – and it was COLD outside. Still, it was great – it was a beautiful day, and there were a lot of other swimmers too. The swim was hard, but fun, and our friends, Kenny & Matan Green, joined us for the swim. And we all did it in less than 30 minutes! I want to give thanks to the great people who organized the Feed the Families Project: Rebecca Hockley joined with Chessed Modiin, Ezra Ladies, Orot Yitzchak and the Ministry of Welfare. In truth, it’s a very simple initiative – we donate the money, and they buy and distribute the food to needy families. The great thing is that a hundred percent of donations goes to buy food for local families, so that our gifts have maximum impact. They’re even tax deductible in Israel, the US and the UK!
People who wish to learn about the charity should email modiinfeedafamily@gmail.com. Oh, and if you want to donate to my project, you still can!
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Mission Statement
EVERYONE HAS AN HOUR
Lev Modiin is for the broader community; to foster greater unity through Torah study, community lectures, holiday events, social activities, weekly Shabbat services and meaningful programs for men, women and children.
Add an hour once a week and join the Lev Modiin Beit Medrash program. Pick a time Sunday - Thursday starting at 8:30 pm, pick a topic and you’ll be set up with an excellent study partner (Chavruta). N ot s ure w hat to s tud y ? Try out the NEW and EXCITING - LifeWisdom program exploring topics: HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, LOVE, PARENTING, MARRIAGE, MEANING OF LIFE. The source materials are prepared and well organized with great classical sources along with questions and insights to make the learning experience inspiring and practical. Each topic is 3 parts ready to be studied and discussed.
We ek l y Shabbat S er vices Lev Modiin Shul in the Keizer neighborhood in the AMIT Boys' School, 4 Emek Zevulun, conveniently located near Dimri Towers, Shimshoni neighborhood and the Mall. The Lev Modiin Shul is a warm blend of Olim and native Israeli families from different backgrounds. A great opportunity and comfortable way to integrate into Israeli society. Friday evenings: 10 minutes after candle lighting Shabbat mornings: 8:45 am Delicious kiddush following morning services every week. Child care provided.
For more information: office@levmodiin.com; RabbiGrunberger@levmodiin.com; 050-405-5521; www.levmodiin.com; LevModiin
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varied programming: Men's Beit Medrash program Community lectures Pre-holiday prep workshops Classes Social events Holiday programs and parties One-on-one learning Children's programming Women's Rosh Chodesh programs Women's chavruta learning
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An Open Letter to a Proud Man By: Raphael Schondorf, M.Sc . I know that the idea of therapy has crossed your mind on more than one occasion. Perhaps it was when you were lying in bed wondering if you will ever break free from…. Perhaps it was after a particularly strenuous family visit, where certain painful realities about yourself and your family started becoming clear. Or maybe it was after a social gathering where you so desperately wanted to make contact with the people sitting next to you, but you couldn’t muster up the courage. Whatever the issue, if you considered therapy then backed down because you wondered, “what would my friends or family think about me if they knew I was seeing a therapist”, then this letter is addressed to you. If it’s ok with you, I would like to ask you a question. What are your thoughts about people who go to therapy? Please take a
moment to think about this. How would you view your friend if you knew he was in therapy? There are some people who see the world split into two categories: the successful and the unsuccessful. The successful are those people who get ahead in life and do not need help from anybody. The unsuccessful are those people who struggle to move forward. They are the ones who need help, support and therapy. Since I have yet to meet a perfect person, who leads a smooth, struggle-free life, I would like to propose an alternative worldview that is far more honest and productive. People can be divided into two categories. There are the people who possess the inner strength and honesty to face their foibles and struggles and who take the necessary steps needed to move forward and grow. Then there are other people who have not yet accessed the inner strength needed to honestly face their weaknesses. Instead they feign flawlessness in an attempt to convince themselves and others that they do not possess any significant imperfections. Obviously, not every issue requires therapy and therapy is
not the answer to every problem. However, an issue that is getting in the way of you living a meaningful and fulfilling life deserves to be dealt with. If you decide that entering therapy is the right step for you now, then I encourage you to be proud of yourself and your courageous decision. How others view therapy is not in your control, but how you view therapy is. Developing emotional health and a robust sense of self in today’s world is not an easy task, and therapy is one of the available tools to help achieve this. A person who avails himself of therapy (or any other tool) in service of achieving these goals has nothing to be ashamed of and much to be proud of.
I would like to leave you with one final quote to mull over: “Don’t judge your insides by another person’s outsides” (Source unknown). It is my sincere hope and prayer that my words bring you closer to making the decision that is right for you. Wishing you all the best, Raphael Schondorf (Reprinted with permission from GetHelpIsrael.com). Raphael Schondorf M.Sc. is an individual and family therapist who maintains a private practice in Modiin Illit and Jerusalem and internationally via Skype. He specializes in the treatment of men, teens and children on a wide range of issues, drawing upon a wide range of cutting edge therapeutic modalities including EMDR and IFS. He can be reached at 052-765-3978 or rbschondorf@gmail.com. For more information please visit www.frumtherapistisrael.com.
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Meet Council Member Gaby Edery By: Caryn Meltz and Rachel Kops Council member Gaby Edery was born and raised in Dimona and moved to Modiin in 2007 with his wife and four children. Gaby has a background in business administration and worked for companies such as Kitan and Coca Cola for more than 20 years. Before moving to Modiin, Gaby was commuting a total of five hours a day until his company found him housing in our city. With his newfound “free” time, Gaby was then able to delve into something he had always wanted to do – chesed work.
Gaby and a few friends, with the help of their children, found donations and collected money to buy groceries for families in need in Modiin. The food items were then packaged and anonymously dropped off at the families’ homes. Not only was Gaby able to make an impact but he was also able to show his children acts of kindness to others. Gaby met Ilan Ben Saadon who was a council person at the time and he asked him to join his list for the 2013 municipal election. Ilan won four seats and Gaby became a council member heading the tenders and the absorption portfolios as well as being the director of Heichal Hatarbut (the cultural center). We discussed with Gaby what is entailed in the tender process. Every tender is built differently depending on what type of service is needed. Tenders include finding companies for landscaping services, elevator operational services, sanitation services (cleaning classrooms, collecting garbage), building
public buildings, to name just a few. For example, when it was decided to replace all the sand in the ganim with synthetic grass, a tender was placed to find an appropriate company to handle the project. There is a lengthy form that must be filled out and criteria to be met in order to be considered for the tender. The bids are then submitted via a safe and there are two keys – held by two different people (the treasurer and the office of the municipal director) – in order to open the safe. The bids then go to a committee in order to make the decision of who to hire. Gaby works closely with Rosita Berlin, the head of the Absorption Department in our city. The department is responsible for the various programming and help that is given to the olim. Gaby’s vision is to take the support one step further and to be involved with the olim even before they step off the proverbial “boat.” Once families know that they are making aliyah to Modiin, the city should receive the backing needed to make their landing in Modiin that much smoother. Gaby is also the Director of Heichal Hatarbut. Although the cultural center has a separate budget it is still affiliated with the Iriyah.
Gaby, as well as all the council members, devote an enormous amount of volunteer time in an effort to improve our city. Gaby is available to answer questions at 054-7000968.
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ADHD Diagnosis Confirmed – Now What? By: Alana Stern Treatments for ADHD have typically been medication and or therapy (CBT, behavioral, psychotherapy, parent training). Coaching is emerging as an additional form of help that can benefit people with ADHD, on its own or in addition to medication/therapy. In this article, the term ADHD refers to all manifestations of attention deficithyperactivity, impulsivity and hypo-activity, inattention. What is Coaching? Life coaching originated from the sporting world. Coaches are hired to improve sporting ability by planning a training program, accompanying the sportsperson, and giving feedback and encouragement. Similarly, life coaching is a collaborative process, with the aim of bridging the gap between where the client presently is, and where they want to be. Goals are identified, an individualized plan of action is formulated and the client is guided through the journey to goal attainment. What is ADHD Coaching? This is a specialized type of coaching, suited to the unique needs of a person with ADHD. An ADHD coach has extensive knowledge and insight of the specific challenges related to ADHD. Since parts of the coaching process can be especially challenging for a person with ADHD (e.g. future-minded thinking, prioritizing, sustaining effort); an ADHD coach offers extra support and structure. Support in the form of offering a non-judgmental space for the client to pursue a goal – try, stumble, get up again, evaluate, problem solve and refine. Structures are tools and techniques that are specifically helpful to a client with ADHD, such as strategies for prioritizing, reducing distraction and avoiding procrastination. The ADHD Coaching Process Step 1 is self-awareness. Understand the general symptoms of ADHD and how these play out in different stages of life; grasp specific personal ADHD symptoms and see how they influence daily functioning. Self- awareness also includes discovering personal strengths, communication and learning style, values and habits. Step 2 is goal identification. People with ADHD are highly creative, with many truly wonderful aspirations. The trick is knowing what ideas to focus on first or at all. Having an awareness of what the client holds as important in life, helps them pinpoint the right goals, and ensures that the chosen goals are authentic and in accordance with their values. Step 3 is a plan of action. The coach will help the client formulate a game plan. Together the two will look at how the client’s personal strengths can be a resource in pursuing the goal. The 38
ADHD brain can be one of big picture thinking, and the coach helps the client to break the whole down into a series of organized action steps. One technique to formulate the plan is to start at the end, the optimal future, and work backward. The coach asks the client to imagine him/herself exactly where he wants to be. The next question is: “What are you doing just before you get there?” “And what are you doing just before that?” And so on, until they have a series of consecutive action steps to follow. Step 4 is support through the journey – which is often one of trial and error. The coach evaluates with the client and they work on problem solving: 1) What is the problem? 2) What are my options? 3) What’s good and bad about each option? 4) Pick another option. Coping strategies are explored. Perseverance is encouraged with positive thinking methods. Commitment is assessed and alternative ways to reach goals can be considered, or unreasonable goals can be relinquished. The coach also encourages the client to identify and utilize support systems, and to seek this support from a position of self-confidence and self-advocacy. How Does Coaching Differ from Therapy? As coaching is finding its place in the world, there have been many articles written comparing and contrasting it to therapy. First and foremost, coaches are not trained for and do not get involved in problems of a clinical intensity. Coaching starts with the premise that the client is essentially whole and naturally creative, so s/he has the power within him/herself to bring about change and reach his/her goals. Therapy is healing oriented and raises questions such as “why?” and “from where?” Coaching is solution oriented and raises questions such as “what now?” and “where to?” The above points just scratch the surface of the comparisons. There are also instances where a therapist and coach complement each other, where the therapist treats significant emotional upsets and the coach moves the client forward. Coaching ADHD Adults Coaching typically involves meeting once a week, for a series of 10-15 sessions of around 60 minutes each. Goals are formed to reduce ADHD symptoms that can negatively impact any aspect of life – personal, health, family, social, recreational or professional. This is mostly via conversation, with coach acting as sounding board and allowing the client to ventilate what is going on in his head. Accountability is a big aspect here too. It’s not only knowing what to do, it’s also DOING what you KNOW! The short duration between meetings promotes feelings of progress and impetus.
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Coaching ADHD Adolescents Along with the general challenges of this stage of life, the organizational and self-management skills demanded of middle and high school students can leave ADHD adolescents feeling helpless, frustrated and out of control. The adolescent coaching process begins with empowerment and building self-esteem. After this, the client is more open to learning adaptive strategies for improving time management, prioritization, self-advocacy and social skills; and tips for reducing distraction and procrastination. Concrete tools (card games, video clips, hands-on experiences) are often employed in order for the adolescent to really internalize. Sessions are also held weekly for 45-55 minutes. Coaching ADHD Children Coaching for children is also an interactive and hands-on experience, suited for the ADHD child. Children as young as eight years old can learn how to choose and pursue a goal. They can be helped to identify their strengths and taught how to access them when “ein li koach” fills their heads. They can be educated to view ADHD as a different kind of brain make-up with its own
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positive attributes to be utilized. This can be understood using the powerful image created by Dr. Edward Hallowell – the childhood ADHD brain is like a Ferrari (state-of-the-art, innovative, advanced) but with bicycle brakes! A coach can help the child to work on these brakes so that they can become a real winner in the game of life. All in all, coaching is a concrete, practical, active and creative approach to upgrading your life, and it is these specific aspects that can be very appealing to people with ADHD. Alana Stern is a life, parenting and ADHD coach, specializing in helping women and mothers navigate their challenges as a person, partner, parent and professional – whether it is parenting ADHD children, handling a recent adult diagnosis, or undiagnosed women who suspect their difficulties may be ADHD related. She is also a remedial English reading teacher with over 20 years’ experience in education, and combines coaching and tutoring for teens and children with ADHD and other learning difficulties. She can be reached at 054-7550747 or thriveadhd@gmail.com.
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Child Custody Following Divorce By: Adv. Hagit Halevy A divorce procedure is about the couple parting from each other but not from their children. Both parents remain legal guardians of their children and are responsible for raising them. This being said, there is still a need to determine where the children will spend most of their time and in accordance, the “primary” parent will have to make most of the decisions regarding the children’s day-today routine. “Child custody” is a legal term that refers to either one parent who has full custody over the children or both parents who have joint custody. Below you can learn in brief how this is determined. Child custody – what does it mean? In all cases of divorce that include common children there is need for a decision, by the couple or by a ruling of the court, to determine which parent will have custody of the children. That parent will spend most of the time with the children and he/she will be the one who will face most of the day-to-day decisions. Being a custodial parent means that there are naturally more
expenses, due to the fact that the children spend most of their time with this parent. There are different kinds of child custody arrangements: The mother as custodial parent – this is the most common case of child custody where the court favors the mother to have custody. This coincides with the Jewish law, which states that a child, up to the age of six
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years old, remains in the mother’s custody after the parents divorce. The father as custodial parent – this is if the mother waives her right, willingly, or in cases where she is not able to take care of the children. Joint custody – this is a relatively “new” kind of custody. It is determined according to a divorce agreement that needs to be authorized by the family court or rabbinic court. This arrangement states that the children will spend equal time with each of the parents during the week. Needless to say that the parents need to live close to each other for this arrangement to work in a positive way. It is important to note that the custodial parent does not determine when the non-custodial parent will see the children. They are both required to fulfill the agreement regarding visitation rights. This should be kept as strictly as possible for the benefit of the children and their emotional development. Who determines custody? As mentioned, in most cases the children’s custody is given to the mother. However, if both parents agree, a joint-custody agreement can be authorized by the judge. In some cases the father might file for sole custody. This is the case if the mother has waived her right in a divorce agreement or if she is unable to perform her duty as mother, as stated above. In such a case the court will instruct a visit from a social worker to determine if indeed the mother is capable or not. Child custody will influence the amount of alimony needed and who will pay it. It is true that in all cases of custody, the father is required to pay child support, but there are exceptions and one should consult with a qualified lawyer to examine each case individually.
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Healthy Living By: Dina Solomon We are in a season of change, and as with all change, we must adjust our consciousness to receive the new and to release what is ending. We made it through the whirlwind of the chagim and its demands of cooking and serving
and praying and cooking and serving again. Then came the month of Cheshvan for internalizing the prayers and their melodies and for bringing substance to what we have hoped for. The days shifted from the long heat of summer into shorter and cooler days. Now we long for rain and the sprouting of new green things. Winter in Israel is a time of revival. The earth has been wearing its brown mantle for many months but now the land will transform
into vibrant green. We will hopefully feel our energy returning after languishing in the often brutal heat of summer. As you begin pulling out the jackets and rain boots, it is useful to purge articles of clothing that you no longer wear or that your children have outgrown. Making space in the closet does miraculously make space in the brain. Your discarded things may be someone else’s treasures and this is a process that we must go through at least yearly if not more often. There are also some important steps to take to help focus and to boost up the immune system for warding off the colds and flu that are so prevalent this time of year. There are many natural remedies that have no side effects and can be just as helpful in preventing and curing the flu. Large doses of Vitamin C have wonderful antibacterial and anti-viral effects (see Linus Pauling’s book, How to Live Longer and Feel Better). Lemon, ginger, garlic and hot pepper are all remedies that have been safely used for generations. Hot relaxing baths with essential oils of eucalyptus, thyme, or lemon can have a wonderful stimulating and protective effect on the whole body. A few drops of lavender on the temples can
relieve a headache and just a whiff of any citrus oil can lift the spirits. I would like to share a cureall remedy that I originally saw on Greensmoothiegirl.com. Try this anytime you feel a cold coming on. (I added garlic to the original recipe for extra protection.) Ingredients: Juice of 1 lemon 1/4 cup organic apple cider vinegar 1 inch piece of ginger, peeled and chopped 2 cloves garlic 1/8 tsp cayenne powder 2 Tbsp raw honey 4 cups hot water– not boiling Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth and then strain through a tea
strainer. Enjoy hot or at room temperature. This tastes delicious and will soothe a sore throat or hacking cough. Another delicious hot and healing brew to enjoy is homemade chai blend. It has no caffeine, but all the wonderful flavors of store bought chai masala. Ingredients: 3 cinnamon sticks 15 whole black peppercorns 1/2 of a whole nutmeg 15 whole cardamom pods 1 inch piece of ginger, chopped (no need to peel) Place in a saucepan with 2-3 cups of water and bring to a boil. Lower the flame and simmer for 15 minutes. Strain and mix with equal parts of any nut milk or coconut milk. Add honey or silan to
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