TMV Winter 2021 by mitchell-armstrong

TOASTMASTERS’ VOICE TMV WINTER 2021

The National Association of Toastmasters

In this edition we say farewell to our friend and Past President Jevan Morris

IN MEMORIUM.

PAST PRESIDENT DAVID JOHN (JEVAN) MORRIS 15TH AUGUST 1954 - 29TH JUNE 2021

Born in Born in 1954, Jevan enjoyed a very interesting childhood. His parents were obviously talented craftspeople and when he was 10 he moved into a house which they had built in Northamptonshire. To support Jevan’s youthful interest in the weather his father built him a perfect Stephenson Screen. He checked this morning and night and was regularly recording readings. In his youth he was active and adventurous, taking part in many activities with the scouts and he also worked on a friend’s farm. Jevan was very creative, making hand puppets and a puppet theatre as well as painting model soldiers and being a keen cartoonist. After school he went to Liverpool University to study Physics with Oceanography and it was here that he first became involved with the navy. Having joined the university Royal Navy Group, Jevan found himself on board ships for a few weeks every holiday. After leaving university he joined the Navy in 1975 and was then off to Dartmouth Naval

College. On graduating from there he became a ‘schoolie’ tutoring ratings in maths and general education subjects. His real ambition was to become a meteorologist which he soon achieved. (He explained in our Zoom presentation on the weather that, rank for rank, this was coincidentally the highest paid officer on a ship!). Whilst at Culdrose he trained with the field gun crew so was very fit although hated cross-country at school. (I suspect though that there are not many cross country runs at sea! His navy service saw Jevan travel the world and see plenty of activity. The ship on which he was serving at the time became the hurricane relief ship for a hurricane in Dominica. The ship was stripped of almost everything it contained and given to the devastated local people. Jevan claims that the hurricane (Hurricane David) was actually named after him! His last ship, HMS Illustrious suffered a very serious fire which threatened the ship and resulted in Jevan standing on deck waiting to jump overboard to abandon ship off the Isle of Wight. Thankfully the fire was brought under

control and Jevan stayed dry. He did however later say that he was so pleased because he could not decide what to take with him into the water!

around his love for amateur dramatics, Jevan was also the director of the Cruise Lecturers Association for 5 years.

A posting to Holland for two years led to Jevan speaking perfect Dutch and he even gave weather forecasts in Dutch. It was also in Holland that Jevan first joined an amateur dramatic society, which led to a lifetime’s passion for him. Amateur dramatics led to the love of Jevan’s life. It brought Jevan and Christine together, having met at an amateur dramatic meeting. Jevan told Christine that she would have to go out with him to a ball because he wanted to go with someone who could dance well (Jevan having learned in his youth).

We can perhaps understand that with his love of theatre, his uniform background, and his attention to detail, Jevan was drawn to the world of the professional toastmaster. He joined the NAT training scheme and had an excellent mentor in the person of Christine Akehurst. His work involved mostly weddings, including being hired to work at a wedding in Las Vegas. He worked for many years repeatedly at civic events and grand balls.

Jevan left the navy in 1987 with the rank of Commander. This was another particular ambition of his because it was the same rank as his hero James Bond. On leaving the navy, Jevan was headhunted by a computer company which led to him working on projects for the stock exchange, the police IT organisation, the Justice Department, fingerprints departments and the Typhoon European Fighter. It was his working life which led to him becoming ‘Jevan’. His mother had researched their family history and found a character called Jevan and said to him that she wished they had called him that instead of David. He later worked in an office with so many other Davids that he used the name Jevan to prevent confusion - and the name stuck from then on. Despite his busy work life and active social life

Despite suffering from a significant but wellcontrolled medical condition he died peacefully and unexpectedly on the 29th of June. I had the pleasure to work with Jevan for many years on the Executive Committee. The NAT was well served due to his integrity, quiet thoughtful and balanced judgement, his attention to detail and his sense of humour. His computer skill and artistry were put to very good use producing flyers and paperwork for numerous social events. He and Christine were enthusiastic supporters of many NAT events including of course when he was our President in 2018. His death is a sad loss to the NAT and we will miss him. Rest in peace Jevan.

Peter Thompson

MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT Colleagues and friends,

this organisation has been noted in the past.

It is like ‘Groundhog day’ - as I did this time last year, I am addressing you as your president, and what a year it has been. We have experienced uncertainty, financial hardship and in many cases significant illness and loss. To those of you to whom this applies, I send you personal greetings and best wishes from Gillian and myself.

Why should we get together at all, this is a professional organisation I hear some of you say. My answer is that there are many reasons for us to do so.

Talking of illness, please may I thank everyone for the kind cards, phone calls and best wishes I received during my recent illness. More of that later in this edition. Of particular disappointment to me is that we have not been able to get together as often as I would have liked. The reasons for that were largely out of our control. Planning any function with more than two weeks’ notice was fraught with difficulty as the Covid rules changed, often at very short notice. Let us all hope that 2022 will be a much better year and that we can get back to doing the job we love and also get together to share the companionship for which

Firstly, it is fun! I genuinely believe that the events which a few of our members have arranged for our benefit have invariably been great fun. An obvious example is the famous NAT Christmas Lunch. For many of us this is the signal that Christmas has started. The feedback we invariably receive about this flagship event is always very positive. Indeed, my guests start asking about the date of the next one very early in the New Year. We all work really hard and it is great to relax, get together and party! There are just a couple of tickets available for this year’s Christmas Lunch on the 13th of December and if you would like more information please contact either me or Past President Richard Heywood.

Secondly our events invariably are very good value for money. I do not use the word cheap. When I say they are good value I mean just that. I have worked at Vintners’ Hall very recently and a comparable lunch, without entertainment, has proved to be around 30 % more expensive per head.

Changing the subject, and fully aware as Christmas approaches I am starting to sound a little like Scrooge, despite my rant at the AGM, the Zoom presentations will continue in the New Year. Watch this space, look out for emails from our excellent secretary, and our WhatsApp group for details of upcoming sessions.

Speaking of value, you will all have seen the toastmaster weekend advertised next year. The venue for the weekend is the Norton Park Hotel, Winchester. I was working at a comparable hotel recently and I saw two people book in and pay noticeably more than the cost of this superb weekend but they only received bed and breakfast! If you haven’t considered this yet, please do so and I am sure that you will not be disappointed.

I am very grateful to Vice President Tom Reddy for arranging to have the geographic search facility added to the NAT website. Perhaps this is quite timely with COP 26 in the headlines. Like many of you, I am sure, I often hear couples and event organisers say that they have deliberately sourced local suppliers whenever possible. I hope that this works for you.

Thirdly, unless we meet, we are not likely to make new friends in the NAT because how else can we meet. The regional meetings, when we can safely hold them are a perfect way to get to know one another. I have attended regional meetings in the Midlands, North London and the Southeast and both enjoyed them and also felt them very worthwhile. I appreciate that some of you are not able to do so because of the distance involved but if you have not yet been able to get to one of these, please put it on your to do list for 2022. I look forward to seeing you there! It was perhaps somewhat easier to get together in the past as there were more options to do so. The NAT used to hold a Christmas Lunch, a Banquet and Ball, half yearly and quarterly meetings and an AGM. These events required large numbers to attend and our current numbers no longer allow us to consider these and it is also a potential huge financial commitment if we were to ask members to pay for so many events. I would just suggest it is important to go to what we can and to get to know each other. Fourthly, and I appreciate that this is a bit abstract, we tend to pass on work to colleagues we know. During my recent two month absence from toastmaster work, it was necessary for me to pass on something like 19 functions which were worth probably six or seven thousand pounds. I was happy to be able to say to my clients that I was able to suggest replacements whom I knew well and whom I knew would look after the clients (and not try to steal the repeat job!).

I have enjoyed reading the TMV this year which goes from strength to strength and wish to publicly record my thanks to Richard Mitchell for all his efforts. May I also take this opportunity to thank everyone who contributed articles to the TMV Essay Competition. The winner will be announced at the Christmas Lunch - watch this space. Some more news for next year is that I will be coordinating another training session on working as a toastmaster and a beadle in the City. The reason I am planning to do so is that there are regular vacancies for beadle positions in the City and I am keen to give those who wish to be prepared for this opportunity every chance of success. It is also a good refresher on the subject of work in the City for anyone preparing for the Member Exam. Lastly, or is it firstly, it is a good opportunity to get together and to go for a bite to eat afterwards. I am currently looking at the 7th of March but I am actively seeking a hall in which to hold it. That is enough from me for now. I look forward to seeing many of you at the Christmas Lunch. However, I am conscious that this is the last TMV of the year. I hope that Father Christmas brings you lots of toys. On behalf of Gillian and I may, I wish you all a very Happy Christmas and a safe, happy and successful New Year.

Peter Thompson

26 - NAT Event - Social event at Norton Park Hotel

30 - Scillian Dinner (TMV Story)

TMV Contents 06

In Memorium - David John (Jevan) Morris

Message from the President

Editor introduction and miscellaneous information

Welfare and Treasurer Reports

The Whole Truth (TMV Story) - Gordon Verran

26 28

The NAT ‘Event” 2022 at Norton Park Richard Heywood

Before the Red Coat (TMV STory) - Malcolm Gerdes-Hansen

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go photographs by Joe Short

Which Way Shall We Go? Poem by Ann Williams

Scillian Dinner (TMV Story) - Tony Forward

Curmudgeon’s Corner

A Lucky Escape - Peter Thompson

Sting in a Tale - Tony Forward

The NAT - Strength in Depth - Simon Shirley

Try Before You Buy - A contented woman

26 - All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go 07

Welcome to the Winter edition of the TMV. Once again, I owe a huge debt of gratitude to all those who have contributed to this issue. Hopefully, you find the articles interesting, amusing or informative.

Mon-Fri 8.00am to 4.30pm

I make no apologies for mentioning the NAT ‘Event’ in several places in this issue, so here is another plug.

Richard Heywood and Andrew Coy have worked incredibly hard putting this together and getting us this great deal for us to enjoy so I really hope that you will join us.

Drive the winter blues away and join us for a fantastic fun-filled ‘weekend’ in March next year. You will have seen brief details circulated but let me remind everyone what you can enjoy at this great event. The Social Weekend 2022 is being held in the four star Norton Park Hotel, Winchester which is a luxurious four star hotel set in a 53 acre estate.

Should you wish to upgrade your room, please speak to Samantha about the options available and pay the upgrade.

If you have any thoughts about what you would like to see in the TMV please contact me at richard@ cambridgetoastmaster.com with your suggestions. Once again, thank you to all contributors of the Winter TMV. Finally, it just leaves me to wish you all a very Happy Christmas and a healthy and prosperous New Year

We do, however, need to book early so here is the business bit: Deposits are to be paid directly to the hotel and are, in the event of cancellation, fully refundable up to Friday 11th February, after which time, they will be lost.

Happy reading!! Richard Mitchell Editor

£210 per Couple (£170 Balance to be paid on departure) and £105 for Single Occupancy (£85 Balance to be paid on departure) Payment to be made to Norton Park Hotel, by card, over the telephone to Samantha Nichols, Reservations Manager on 01962 763 019 quoting “NAT Social Event 2022”. Samantha’s hours are

Dates for the diary Executive Committee Meetings 2022. 14 February 11 April 6 June 12 September

CPD City training 7 March 2022 venue TBA

Social Matters. Monday 13th December 2021 Vintners’ Hall **Christmas Lunch ** 13th to 15th March 2022 Toastmaster Weekend ‘The Event’ near Winchester 08

Wilkins Micawber

Howard Robbins Howard Robbins, Past President, coach, mentor and trainer to many toastmasters hit the impressive landmark of 48 years in the business. His first ever event occured on 3rd December 1973. Huge congratulations Howard, it is a wonderful achievment. Long may you continue to guide and perform at the highest level.

Howard with his father Bernie in 1976

What was Si wearing that is not regulation NAT uniform? In the photograph Si is not wearing full regulation NAT uniform – how could that possibly be? If you think you know, send your answer to the Editor. There could be a bottle of fizz whizzing your way, if you give the first right answer. Answer in the first edition of the 2022 TMV

Rummage through your drawers in the new year! You will all be incredibly busy at the moment with final jobs and preparations for Christmas. However, in those dark days of January/ February here is a little task for you. I am sure that you have officiated at many weddings that have had a photobooth and during a lull in the proceedings you have had a few pictures taken. Please rummage through your files, be they virtual or otherwise and send those images to richard@cambridgetoastmaster. com They will make a colourful collage and brighten up the next edition of the TMV.

Dear Member, I would be grateful if you could let me know any news, good or sad. If you (or one of your close family) are unwell or hospitalised, please drop me a text or an e-mail to let me know …. BUT I will NOT send the news out to everyone else, unless you specifically ask or tell me to do so.

some time in the future.

If you are celebrating a special Birthday, Wedding Anniversary or big special occasion, please let me know too.

Finally, I would like to wish all our members a very Happy Christmas.

I would be happy to share this with the other NAT Members, so we can all join in your celebrations. The NAT does not have a benefit fund, but please do let me know if you happen to be facing any major difficulty that you think we may be able to help with. Finally, if you have a wife or partner please tell them about this email, so that they can contact me if they should ever need to. I do hope to have the chance to meet some of you at one of our next virtual on-line meetings soon and hopefully, face-to-face at

I will be in touch shortly with our retired members. If you need to contact me, my details are at the bottom of this letter.

Kind regards David Wylie NAT Welfare Officer Email: david@toastmaster2u.info Or: david@toastmaster2u.co.uk Mobile: 07768 448999

The NAT 100 Club has been running now for several years and provides some extra income for the NAT whilst rewarding the Subscribers with the chance to win a monthly prize of £20.00. In addition we hold 3 extra draws in December, usually at the NAT Christmas Luncheon. These 3 prizes are £25, £50 and £100. The Annual Subscription for one number is £12.00 (or £1.00 per month). The price of a reasonable bottle of wine!!! You are not restricted to subscribing to one number either!! The 100 Club Subscription runs annually from 1st May to 30th April and it’s possible to join in at anytime by paying a pro-rata payment. At the time of writing there are 16 spare numbers available. To set up your standing order from 1st May 2022 or to Bacs a payment, here are the details. (Cheques are acceptable too) Bank: Lloyds Bank Account: The National Association of Toastmasters Sort Code: 30-90-89 Acc No: 53920568

2020 No. Name Prize October 16 Geoff Harris £20 November 94 Ron Wilson £20 December 59 Richard Heywood £20 Xmas 1 31 Ted Prior £100 Xmas 2 39 Ken Negus £50 Xmas 3 20 Gayna Harris £25

2021

January 60 Paul Deacon £20 Feburary 47 Tom Broughton £20 March 98 David Thomson £20 April 74 Tony Forward £20 May 68 Tony Cooper £20 June 13 Marion Haining £20 July 9 Gillian Lee £20 August 21 Richard Heywood £20 September 73 Simon Shirley £20 October 17 Simon Shirley £20 November 17 Simon Shirley £20 (Donated to NAT Christmas Charity)

Good luck to everyone! Don’t foget - You have to be in it to win it!!

Rodger Oatley Fellow & Treasurer 11

The Whole Truth Working in my shed making or repairing something, when Jack my grandson appears, he is three. “What doing Grandad?”, at that time I was drilling some holes in a piece of wood. “I’m making holes,” I replied. “Oh, can I have one,” says Jack. “Of course you can.” I take up a spare piece of wood and drill a hole in it, I gave it to Jack who is not impressed. “It’s piece of wood.” “Yes, but it has got a hole in it.” Granny appears at the shed door to announce that she is off to Sainsburys. Jack hates shopping at supermarkets, he much prefers to help or hinder Grandad. To him the shed is like Aladdin’s Cave, so many tools etc. in there. I said to my wife, “Ah, while you are there can you buy a hole for Jack?” “A what?” says Granny. “A hole. Jack wants a hole.” “Oh yes, what size?” “Well, nothing too big as you will have to carry it.” Granny raises her eyebrows and says, “I’ll see what I can do,” and off she goes. Granny returns about an hour and a half later and is met by Jack who is quite excited, “Did you get my hole?” he asked. Oh dear, Granny thought he would have forgotten about that, so she quickly said, “No they didn’t have any.” Jack is very disappointed, so I said, “Not to worry we will go shopping tomorrow, there are several bits I need, we will see about your hole tomorrow.” Next day, off we go shopping. We pass a Do-it yourself shop, Granny says, “Is that where you will get Jack’s hole?” “No,” I said, “They don’t stock what I want, I need a proper builders’ merchant.” We find one. This is just great, they stock everything, all the tools, nails and screws etc. just like in Grandad’s shed. We go in and are approached by a young man, “Can I help you sir,” he said. “Yes, we want to buy a hole.” “Ah,” said the young man, “drills and power tools are in aisle four.” 12

“No,” I said, “I we don’t want to make one, we just want to buy a ready-made hole.” The young man is confused, he had been on a management course where he was taught the customer is always right, prior to that he worked as a traffic warden where the customer is never right! He does not know how to cope with this situation, so he disappears. Shortly afterwards a middle-aged man appears and asks the same question, “Can I help you sir?” “Yes, we are looking for a hole.” “For what purpose?” said the assistant. “It’s for my Grandson. He wants a hole.” At this stage my wife says, “He’s not with me,” and goes off to examine some wallpaper which we don’t need. “I see,” said the man and picked up a plastic ring used for joining plastic pipes, “how about this?” “No, we don’t want a plastic one we’ve got some of those in the shed.” He then picked up a brass ring which did the same job, “How about this?” Now we’re getting somewhere, “Yes, that’s fine but we don’t want the brass bit just the hole in the middle.” “I see,” said the assistant, “we had a load of those delivered last month but the driver didn’t say where he had put them, so we haven’t been able to find them since.” “I can see what you need is a purpose-built hole, like the ones they dig in roads just before a bank holiday, then leave them unattended for weeks afterwards!” “That sounds just fine. Do you stock them?” “No sir but I could get one delivered, you see they are only obtainable direct from wholesalers.” Now why didn’t I think of that.

Gordon Verran TMV Story

Curmudgeo

on’s Corner Where Has Everyone Gone? That’s the big question. I was impressed (and that’s becoming an increasingly difficult thing to achieve as I grow older and more cynical) with the way that the NAT embraced the opportunities provided by technology during the breakdown. The regular Zoom meetings at national and regional level (although they more or less merged into the same thing) were, I felt a great success, and indeed I have already expressed that view in these pages. So where has everybody gone? There was a good variety of topics covered from the educational to the social and this is surely what the NAT is about. We are, as the name suggests, a disparate organisation spread all over the UK, from Folkstone to Falkirk, Ffestinniog to Felixstowe. This of course makes it difficult to meet in numbers physically, it always has done even without the pandemic restrictions. So let us continue with a planned programme of on-line meetings. Presentations from other TMs, photographers, event co-ordinators, musicians, boom operators........the list goes on. We should constantly be looking to keep on top of our game, and we do that through expert input and reflection, and this is a way we can all benefit. We pay a substantial subscription to be a member of what is allegedly the premier Toastmaster organisation in the UK. Surely, we must offer more than just public liability insurance in return? We should be provided with opportunities to continue our development. In the past Curmudgeon’s Corner has called for a pruning down of the executive committee, but perhaps we could do with someone with a specific role (perhaps not necessarily with an executive place), and this role is to co-ordinate a programme of presentations of all kinds. The meetings can also be purely social. Let us sit and chat with a glass of wine; let’s have another quiz from our secretary. If looked at creatively this could become recognised throughout the industry and even a recruitment tool. I know the attendance at the AGM was disappointing, perhaps the timing needs to be looked at, at least that might give the opportunity to everyone to get up, but it has to be the way ahead. More Zoom please, whether it is social, training, national regional. Putting glue on your whites? For heaven’s sake. 15

‘Sting in

There was an article in the Summer edition of TMV by Janice Dorn about the tying of bow ties. This brought back a memory for me.

The late LVP Bryn Williams invited me to join him in toastmastering a banquet at the Natural History Museum to be held in the main hall in the shadow of the dinosaur skeleton. The event was to be attended by many well-known celebrities and what was estimated to be 35 millionaires. To give an idea of the level of people attending, one of the main prizes in the charity auction to be conducted by Jimmy Tarbuck was a brand-new Ferrari sports car with a reserve price of £350,000. During the drinks reception that preceded the meal, I was approached by a man carrying a bow tie who asked me if I could tie it for him. Like most toastmasters, I was used to tying mine while facing a mirror. I stood face to face with him and attempted to tie it but failed. I suggested that we find a mirror. We went together into a Gents toilet. He faced the mirror while I stood behind him with my arms round him and made a good job of his bow. Two separate men came into the toilet and looked at us with some suspicion. I knew what they were thinking! It was not until part way through the auction when Jimmy Tarbuck announced the successful bidder one of the lots and asked him to stand that I learned that the same man was the same one that I had had my arms round in the Gents toilet – Sting from rock group Police. Tony Forward PP 16

n a Tale’

Natural History Museum

Sting 17

The Strength My phone rang at 7.15am one Tuesday

in early September. ‘Morning Si, how are you’? It was Past President Tom Reddy’s voice. ‘Ok thanks. Is everything alright’ I asked. ‘Actually, no, not really’ came Tom’s reply, ‘I’m booked for an award ceremony for RoSPA today in Birmingham and I’ve just tested positive for Covid’. Tom had just tested himself with a lateral flow test, as many of us were and still do, before leaving for the event. Assuming it was an evening ceremony, I confirmed that I could be available that day to travel to Birmingham and cover the event for Tom. He then said, ‘and you need to be there for a briefing at 11’. That was going to be a bit tight! I rearranged my day, printed the notes that Tom had emailed and spoke briefly to Kate, the event coordinator, who was already at the venue. Knowing that there was no on-site parking for cars, I decided to go on my motorbike, feeling sure that even with busy city centre traffic, I would still make it on time. Kate had confirmed that they had space where I could park the bike and it would also save at least 20 minutes parking a car in the nearest NCP and then walking to the venue. I made it on time and the event itself proved fairly straightforward; an award ceremony for RoSPA held outdoors, for ventilation and social18

distancing purposes, in a marquee in the large, landscaped car park of the organisation’s headquarters. The weather was warm and sunny, there was live music and also individuallyboxed afternoon teas for attendees (with one for the toastmaster too!) It was an enjoyable engagement, for organised and professional clients and with relaxed and pleasant attendees. Past President Stephen Sanders, who had successfully looked after RoSPA’s events for many years had recently handed the baton on to Tom Reddy. I was pleased to be asked and very happy to be free and able to stand-in on this occasion. Had I been unable to though, I’m certain that Tom would have been able to find another NAT member to cover for him. I think this demonstrates how, as a professional organisation, the NAT has strength in depth. We provide not only knowledge, experience and backup support for each other but more importantly, our clients can rely-on and be reassured they get quality when booking an NAT toastmaster. Si Shirley

NAT in depth

Try before you buy? Shortly before our son got married, he cornered

me in the kitchen for one of our mother and son chats. I could see that something important was on his mind, I took a deep breath and waited. Eventually the question arrived, “Mum, how long did you and Dad live together before you got married?” My reply was simply “ We didn’t”. Once the startled expression had left his face another soul-searching question was asked. “ How did you know that you were right for each other, how did you know that it would work?” Ok, we were now into new territory here, I can cope with most questions, “What’s for tea, can you wash this shirt please”, but this question was on a different level. I decided that the only answer to give him was a truthful one. “ We didn’t, we loved each other and we had to take a huge leap of faith.” When my husband, (I am not going to give our names, all will become clear later) comes home from a wedding, he will usually show me a few photographs he’s taken of the couple. I am always struck by the look of happiness on their faces but often by the confident look on the face of the bride. Looking back on our wedding photos, I too had the same look of confidence. I was extremely lucky to have had the most wonderful parents, my brother and I were loved, we lived in a small terraced house and although my parents were not wealthy, they worked hard and always had money to pay the bills and we had a weeks holiday each year. My Dad worked shifts in a factory, my Mum worked shifts as a nurse. Our house was always spotlessly clean, Mum cooked everything from scratch, she knitted and made our clothes and looked after our aging grandparents. More importantly, she made it all look so easy. Therefore, before we got married I had thought long and hard about this, I didn’t work shifts, I had long holidays in the 20

summer, I didn’t have children or elderly parents to look after. In my head, being a wife wasn’t that hard. I did however have a husband who worked shifts, but I was confident that wouldn’t be too much of a problem. Oh dear, I was so wrong. My first baptism of fire arrived a few weeks after we were married. We lived in a police house with the most disgusting old enamel bath, it was yellow with age. To my eyes, that showed that I was not a good housewife, something had to be done. After work one evening, armed with a variety of bath cleaners, I rolled up my sleeves and set about scrubbing this monstrosity. I used Vim, nothing moved, then Ajax and then finally Brobat. After several hours of cleaning, the bath was still filthy. At this point, I need to point out that I am not a scientist, at school I had very little interest in anything scientific. Having thought about my problem for no more than ten seconds, I poured all three cleaners in to the bath together hoping that something would happen. I was not disappointed, a cloud of noxious gas filled the bathroom and followed me down the stairs as I fled into the front garden slamming the door behind me. When my husband was dropped off by his colleagues, he found one very embarrassed wife sitting on the garden wall in floods of tears. He knew exactly what to do, he donned his diving cylinder, face mask and mouth piece and ventured into the house to rescue the situation. Eventually, it was safe for me to go back into the house. The bath? Still stained. The following week I decided to cook a candlelight dinner. I chose the menu very carefully, the starter was to be homemade liver pate. I had never made pate before but it was one of my husband’s favourites, shop bought simply wouldn’t do in my head.

H f I c a t

T j

M a w t r i t i l a m

F ( p

W m b

Having read the recipe I decided not to chop up the ingredients as instructed, I merely tipped it into the food processor and thought that would save time and effort. After all why do we have these gadgets? As I removed the lid, I realised my mistake. The belly pork was welded around the processor blades and the contents of the jug would not disgrace a badly run abattoir. The sight and the smell made me gag. Once again, I was found sitting in the front garden unable to go back into the house. Husband and Waitrose to the rescue.

Things went very well after that for several months, I continued to try be just like my Mum, but I realised just how hard she worked and how wonderful she was, I could never ever be as fabulous as her.

My biggest difficulty was my husbands shift work, the hours were very long and he was always on call. As a result, I spent many nights on my own. The houses either side of ours were empty, so at night, any noise which I hadn’t made sounded scary and made me believe that potentially someone was creeping around the house. One evening as I sat alone in the living room, I heard a strange noise coming from the dining room. It continued for quite some time. It wasn’t a noise that I could identify and as a result, to my mind, it had to be an intruder! I managed to creep into the kitchen to grab a carving knife, sneak back into the living room and whisper a message down the phone to police headquarters stating that there was an intruder in the dining room. I asked the phone operator to get a radio message to my husband. Minutes later, all hell broke loose as eight policemen including my husband burst into our house through the front and the back doors. There was indeed an intruder, sitting on the table was a tiny weeny mouse! (and yes my hearing is that acute!).

For every problem, there is a solution. The bath is no longer an issue - we bought our own home; Waitrose (other supermarkets are available) sell beautiful pate; and as for working hours, that’s still a work in progress!

We have been married now for forty three years, we took that leap of faith and have a wonderfully happy marriage. So back to the original question, “Try before you buy?” Thank goodness we didn’t, I would have been returned to the shop!! By. A contented woman

The NAT ‘Event’ 2022 at the Norton Park Hotel Sunday 13th March to Tuesday 15th March 2022. Since 2013 the NAT has had an Annual Social Weekend/ Event. Its purpose being quite simply an opportunity for Members and their Guests to “Get away” and have a couple of nights’ fun and frivolity – after all, for the rest of the Year we are presiding at other peoples’ events, parties and Significant Happenings! Our venues have changed every Year and have included: Hogarths Hotel & Restaurant, Solihull West Midlands Balmer Lawn Hotel, Brockenhurst, Hampshire Hogarths Stone Manor, Kidderminster Down Hall Hotel, Sawbridgeworth, Hertfordshire Marriott Hotel, Liverpool Centre Cheltenham Chase Hotel, Cheltenham, Gloucestershire After a break, forced upon us by COVID 19, we have arranged the 2022 Social Event at the beautiful 4* Norton Park Hotel & Spa in Sutton Scotney, Hampshire. The Events centre around two main Social Events on the Sunday and Monday evenings. No Toastmaster Regalia is either necessary or, indeed, allowed, The First Night is a traditional “Themed” Dinner and Dance – Next Year the “Theme” is “Black and White”. There will be prizes for the Best Dressed Lady and the Best Dressed Gentleman – So, imaginations can run riot.

Norton Park H

After a three course, three choice Dinner, with half a bottle of wine per person, there is dancing to our now very own Ian Haskell of Apache Disco from Liverpool – Ian is also our “resident” Photographer. At Midnight Guests who wish, retire happy to bed or, seek Company in the Bar for a final nightcap……or two. The choice is theirs. The en suite accommodation incorporates bathrooms with both bath and shower. Included in the price is a and ‘Full English’ breakfast, taken in the Hampshire Restaurant from 7.00am until 10.00am Monday is a “Free Day” where guests can explore the New Forest, The Beaulieu Motor Museum, Bucklers Hard, nearby Winchester or, enjoy winding down in the Hotel Spa – the choice is yours. Bombay Sapphire Gin Distillery is not far away for those who love a tipple. After a hard days exploring or, relaxation, the Monday Evening sees a Barn Dance in the Hotel’s Hay Barn with a “Caller” and Country Dance Music. Tonight is a Carvery Dinner, again three courses and three choices including Roast Gammon & Roast Turkey and, Salmon en Croute. Again there is half a bottle of wine per person. Dancing ceases at Midnight and, once again, for those who wish, the Bar will remain open for as long as people wish to frequent it. Following Breakfast on the Tuesday Morning, again

Day Out - New Forest

Hotel

Hay Barn - Norton Park Hotel

‘Black and White’ Themed Evening 7.00am until 10am our Happy Troupers make their way home, tired but invigorated by the last couple of days. For those who have been before – the Social Event I one not to be missed. However there are a number of Members who have not had the temerity to dip their “toes into the water” PLEASE determine to “Take the Plunge”. Particularly in a Year where we have been “locked away”, here is our chance to bring Our Association back to life and, to have a fabulous time to boot. For further details please contact Past President Richard Heywood (richardheywood05@btinternet. com) or, Home 01983 884464 or Mobile 07850 468954

Barn Dance - Boots optional Richard will guarantee you a great time and, that’s a Promise! We try to keep our costs to an absolute minimum, to give as much value as possible to our Guests. I hope that you will agree that £380 per Couple and £190 per single occupancy represents outstanding value. SO come on, join President Peter & Gillian in what will be a FANTASTIC couple of days away in a beautiful part of the Country from Sunday 13th to Tuesday 15th March

Richard Heywood

Before the Red Coat

If you google the word toastmaster you will be

given three alternatives. Firstly, Toastmaster International, a public speaking group, second TOASTMASTERS, an American maker of bread toasting equipment, lastly, but most importantly Professional Toastmasters, of which, I am proud to be one, in modern reckoning that is how things stack up. If you try to delve a little deeper, our history seems to start around 1705 with the recognition of Richard Nash, however although being attributed with being the first toastmaster, his official title was “Master of Ceremonies”. He looked very distinctive as he wore a coloured frock coat, knee breeches, black shoes adorned with silver buckles and he carried a staff of office. He held that post for 56 years History tells us that he was one of two main characters who were heavily influential in the development of Toastmasters as we know them today. Richard Nash otherwise known as ‘Beau’ was a celebrated dandy and leader of fashion in 18th-century Britain. His position was extensive and his influence in the city of Bath until early 1761 was equally so. He would meet new arrivals to Bath and judge whether they were suitable to join the select ‘Company’ of 500 to 600 people who had prebooked tables, match ladies with appropriate dancing partners at each ball, pay the musicians at such events, broker marriages, escort unaccompanied wives and regulate gambling by restraining compulsive gamblers or warning players against cardsharps. He was notable for encouraging a new informality in manners, breaking down the rigid barriers which had previously divided the nobility from the middle-class patrons of Bath, and even from the gentry. 24

Richard ‘Beau’ Nash

Nash insisted that any Master of Ceremonies should look splendid and be a match for any of the guests. They should also, however, stand out, which he most certainly did. The other of course being William Knightsmith. I doubt there is not a practising toastmaster who has not heard of William, but perhaps not of his wife Mettie who was the influence behind the colour change of his coat. If you look at other historical offerings the writer refers to a toastmaster’s tailcoat being also known as “hunting pink” so much for their research as the word “pink” is a total misquote by the illinformed.

William Knightsmith

The scarlet red is known as ‘hunting pinks’ not because of the colour but because of a tailor named Pink (misquote) who made the best such wear. Even this is almost not so, as the tailor in question was Thomas Pinque of Mayfair who first produced scarlet coats in the late 18th century and the use of the word was used by the hunting fraternity so as not to seem down market often declared “I’m wearing my Pinque”. So having covered the advent of the scarlet tailcoat, what about before that time. One thing that is well known and documented is the fact “toast” were given as far back as Biblical times examples are Hebrew Lechayim (to life), Anglo-Saxon Wassail (good health) and other to numerous to mention, so how did gatherings manage before people like Nash and Knightsmith.

We need to go back to the 13th century and in many castles and baronial mansions a Master of the Toast, an important and highly prized position, his job was to make toast, not toast that you eat but toast to be used as a filter. The quality of the wine in those day was so poor and cloudy, it was almost undrinkable so he would dip pieces of bread into honey, herbs and spices and then put these toasted pieces into the wine where they would sink to the bottom clearing the wine and improving its flavour. In addition to this work he was also the house Chamberlain, rather like a modern-day butler. He carried a staff of office and would announce guests by banging his staff on the floor, giving the reason for their visit. Over the 600 years between the Chamberlain and our modern times, positions change and develop to now when those of us who proudly wear the Red Coat can offer as much as those who stood “before the Red Coat.” Malcolm Gerdes-Hansen TMV Story

All Dressed Up & Like all of us Joe Short, an outstanding wedding photographer, found that his work had come to an abrupt halt. He decided to use the time to find fellow entertainment professionals and create a portrait project that documented how these creative people were positively using their time. One of his subjects was our very on Si Shirley, toastmaster turned gardener. We thought it would be great to have a few of the photographs taken form Joe’s book and we thank him hugely for giving us permission to show some of his subjects.

Chris is a hire wire walker

Simon is a toastm Mattie has had time to spend fixing all the clown outfits he has collected for the Clown Museum in London. 26

& Nowhere To Go!

r resorting to practising at home

Phil is a magician practising with his dog

master who worked as a gardener

Ms Merlin has not been able to perform at any festivals and spent the time reading.

Which Way Past President Barry Dorn got in touch with the TMV: A few weeks ago Barry received a copy of a poem very recently written by Bryn Williams’ widow, Ann. As many will know, with his father, Bryn was one of the originals who formed the NAT. On Bryn’s retirement he and Ann moved to France. Bryn past away in October 2018. Ann was 89 in July (belated Happy Birthaday Ann from all of us in the NAT). Ann’s sight is severley failing and she is also hard of hearing. However, you’ll see, her wit and mind are as sharp as ever. Ann sent this poem to a friend in England, who sent it on to Barry. He thought it so good that it should be shared with all in the TMV. Ann said yes, and we are delighted to have her contribution in this edition of the TMV. Great to see Ann has an interesting take on life.

Ann Williams with duaghter Tracy

y Shall I Go? Which Way Shall I Go? I don’t want to keel over in Tesco I’m sure that the staff know the drill Grab her handbag and brolly Wheel her off in the trolley You need a voucher to drop dead at the till. I don’t want to be at the seaside And fall over the edge of a cliff Crash land on the beach Where the lifeboat can’t reach And end up a cold and wet stiff. I think I’ve got a good plan though One night I’ll just hop into bed Say Nighty Night And turn out the light And wake up in the morning – quite dead I don’t want to live to a hundred Ninety one or two might be fine With old age I’m stuck With crossed fingers and luck On July the eighth I shall be EIGHTY-NINE! Ann Williams 29

Scillian One

of the memorable jobs I had during my 20 years as a toastmaster was a banquet for the Sicilian Tourist Board at the Forum Hotel that was almost opposite Earls Court in London. They had taken part in a tourism exhibition there and had invited a large number of guests to join them for dinner at the hotel. On arrival, I met the organiser, a short bald-headed man with a strong Italian accent. He told me that all guests must register at the ‘Registratione’, a desk near the entrance. There were to be two colours of tickets. Only those guests with a blue ticket would be admitted to a room with closed double doors. Those with a pink ticket should be directed to a bar area. I was required to stand outside the closed doors. It was stressed how important it was not to allow anyone through those doors if they were not in possession of a blue ticket. Some guests arrived with a pink ticket and I directed them to the bar area. Some arrived with no ticket and I advised them to go to the registration desk. Those who arrived with a blue ticket, I allowed through the double doors. I was a Rotarian and wore a small Rotary badge in my lapel. A smartly dressed gentleman approached me and I asked him for his ticket. In an Italian accent he told me that he did not have one. I directed him to the registration desk. A few minutes later he returned with the small, bald organiser who was red in the face and said, “Whya you no letta the government minister ina througha the door?” 30

I replied, “You told me that no-one could go through that door without a blue ticket. This gentleman did not have a ticket of any colour, so I directed him to the registration desk.” The little man was now at bursting point. “But he is a Sicilian government minister.” I was about to point out that there is no way I could know who he was when the minister noticed my Rotary badge. Pointing to it the minister said, “I am also a Rotarian in Sicily. I am very happy to meet you.” He then shook my hand and asked the little man to go and fetch a photographer as he wished to have a photograph taken of the two of us. The little man was not at all happy! During the dessert, he came to me and said to “Go and geta a birthday cake-a. A very importanta guesta has birthday today.” I went to see the chef who said that a cake would have needed to be ordered in advance. There was no way a cake could be provided. I passed this information on to the little Sicillian. Once again, a red face bursting with anger. “We willa filla everyones’ glassa on hisa table and I wanna you to geta everyone to singa ‘Appy Birthday’.” The VIP was identified to me and I asked him his name. I gavelled and announced “Today is the birthday of Senor Giovanni Ravollini. Please join me in wishing him a very happy birthday.” I started to sing but nobody joined in. I sang it right through on my own and wondered why no-one had sung with me. I assumed that it was because the song meant nothing to Sicillian people. At the end of the event, the government minister

Dinner

came to say ‘Good night’ to me and shook my hand again. I asked if he knew why nobody joined me in the singing. He whispered in my ear “Mafiosi” and left.

have occasionally challenged a guest to try. They never have more than a sip and before long I will keep it in the shed to get the occasional bonfire going!

There is a happy ending to this tale. When the minister and the birthday boy and his cohorts had left the building, the little man became quite pleasant and took me into the room that I had been guarding earlier and offered me an array of Sicilian wines, liquors and cheeses. He invited me to fill a carrier bag with anything I wanted. As well as a few bottles of wine, I had a bottle of Grappa and one of ‘Fuocco del Volcano (85% proof) that I

Tony Forward TMV Story

A LUCKY

I hope that any ladies who read TMV will excuse me writing about specifically male ‘below the waist’ issues. As many of you will know I was recently diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer and would like to share some thoughts. I never imagined that I might have prostate cancer and did not have any real symptoms. I actually contacted my GP because I had a cough for a number of weeks and was a little tired. The GP then arranged a blood test. A

week later he rang to say that my PSA had changed. It was still very low - less than five but had changed relatively quickly in a short time. That led me a week later to me meeting a urologist who explored my inner self and recommended that I should have biopsies taken ‘just in case’. The following week I found myself sitting with my feet in stirrups and a surgeon taking many biopsies from such a small part of me.

ESCAPE! A week later I met another surgeon, together with a Macmillan nurse, who confirmed that I had prostate cancer and explained that a number of biopsies showed cancer and some of them were fast acting. I will not bore you with the conversation about Gleeson Scale, T score or cancer grade but I walked out with a pile of literature about possible treatment options (and a free parking ticket for future visits to the hospital) The following week I met Professor Sheriff who basically repeated the news I had been given previously as many people go into shock and do not really hear the details. He asked me which treatment option I favoured. As my cancer was fast acting, currently contained and there was no evidence of it having spread, I elected to have a robot assisted laparoscopic prostatectomy - removal of the prostate. Three weeks later (delayed a week by me to allow me to sort out my work commitments to avoid letting anyone down) he conducted the operation, which required a one night stay in hospital before coming home. It is fair to say that some of the procedures we not overly pleasant and there are side effects to the treatments which cause some inconvenience, for example having to wear a catheter for two weeks and six weeks doing absolutely nothing. It is also very true to say, however, that I do not regret any of it. The treatment I received was necessary, prompt, caring and very professional. I cannot commend the NHS professionals involved in my care highly enough. I also received a great deal of support from Gillian, family, friends and colleagues. I was very touched by the many messages and greeting from colleagues within the NAT - thank you all once again.

So why am I writing this? The cough which initiated this adventure turned out to be related to the council not cutting the very high grass at the front of our house. The cough disappeared as soon as it was cut. I consider therefore that I was incredibly lucky to have had such an early diagnosis of my condition. It is true to say that many men live with prostate cancer for many years with only minor inconvenience. In my case the cancer would have grown quickly and it is likely that I would not have been so lucky. I was particularly lucky that my diagnosis was almost by accident. My last visit to the hospital was last week when the consultant advised me that my PSA is now less than 0.01%. They are very confident that the tumour removed had clear margins, which means the medics are confident they have removed it all. I will be monitored for some time to come. Gillian and I walked out of the consultation room feeling quite elated. Whilst in the corridor we saw another couple come out of another room and the woman said to the man, “So what they have said is that there is nothing more they can do for you.” So my message is simply this. In their lifetime about 1 in 8 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer! If you are unsure about what to look for, or how it may manifest itself, look at www. prostatecanceruk.org If you have any concerns at all go to your GP straight away and get checked, if only for peace of mind. The sooner prostate cancer is identified the better the outcomes are likely to be. Stay safe and stay healthy!

Peter Thompson

How to be a part of the Spring edition of the TMV 1. Please rummage through your files to look for any images of you taken in a photobooth at any event you have officiated at. This will make for a colourful and bright collage.

All contributions to be sent to richard@cambridgetoastmaster.com The views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of the editor or the NAT.