TMV_SPRING2025

The National Association of Toastmasters

TOASTMASTERS’ VOICE TMV SPRING 2025

TMV Contents

08. I’ll Do What I Want To In My Own Home - Geoff Harris

12. To Wedding Fair or Not To Wedding Fair - Paul Deacon

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04

Message from the President

06 08

Editor introduction and miscellaneous information

16 18

Midland Regional Meeting - Geoff Harris

From the Archive - Autumn 2007

I’ll Do What I Want To In My Own Home Geoff Harris

10 12 14

Curmudgeon Corner

To Wedding Fair or Not To Wedding Fair - Paul Deacon

The Importance of Being A Toastmaster - Rory Windass

40. Midland Regional Meeting Geoff Harris 3

MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT Dear Friends and Colleagues, A Night to Remember – and a Future to Shape Together What an unforgettable evening we shared back in February at the Northern Social Night Out, held at the fabulous Paddy’s Marten Inn in Leicester. The buzz in the room, the laughter, the stories exchanged over a great curry and enjoyable conversation – it was everything a

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great Toastmaster gathering should be. It reminded us, once again, why the NAT thrives: passion, connection, and the shared belief in the power of good communication.

A heartfelt thank you to all who joined us and made the night so memorable.

Special recognition must go to Geoff Harris for organising the event so brilliantly. This wasn’t just a social catch-up — it was a celebration of what we stand for and what brings us together as members of the NAT.

And now, a message to all of you: this is YOUR association.

We’re listening — really listening.

We’re noticing how the landscape is changing: how clients are booking us, how members are engaging, and how we all connect with one another. As the world continues to shift, so must we. The NAT is committed to staying not just relevant, but at the forefront of our profession. That means being bold, open to new ideas, and driven by the voices of our members.

If you’ve ever had a suggestion, an idea for an event, or simply wanted to play a bigger part — now is the time. There’s no need for a formal title to make an impact. Whether you’d like to help shape events, lend a hand behind the scenes, or share your thoughts at our Executive Meetings (which are open for all to observe, with time at the end for comments), your input is welcome and encouraged.

Looking ahead, I’m delighted to announce our Summer Tea Party will be held on Sunday, 10 August, graciously hosted by Brian and Gill Lee at their home in Surrey. Expect a relaxing afternoon of conversation, refreshments, and light-hearted fun.

More details will be shared soon, so mark your calendars!

on our minds — the Christmas Social Event date will be published very soon, so stay tuned.

On another note, a big thank you must go to Richard Mitchell, who continues to put together this fantastic TMV magazine. But let’s not forget — this magazine is only possible because of your contributions. Whether you’ve had an unusual experience at work, a funny anecdote, or just returned from a memorable holiday, we’d love to hear from you. Articles, photos, musings — they all help keep this publication vibrant and uniquely ours.

Finally, I want to extend my sincere appreciation to our hardworking Hon. Secretary Michael Myers, the incomparable Hon. Treasurer Rodger Oatley, our Vice President David Wylie, and to all of you who keep things running behind the scenes. Your dedication ensures the NAT remains a leader in the Toastmaster world.

Enjoy the sunshine, and I look forward to seeing many of you at the Summer Tea Party — if not before.

Robert Persell - President

And yes, the festive season is already

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Welcome to the Spring Edition of the TMV Firstly, I hope you all had a wonderful Easter break—whether you spent it with family (creating egg hunts for the children or grandchildren!) or simply enjoying some well-earned rest and relaxation.

Once again, thank you to all that have contributed to this edition of the TMV. I would like to draw your attention to two interesting articles that reflect the breadth of experience within our community. On the one hand, we have Rory Windass’s “The Importance of Being a Toastmaster” offering a sharp view (just love somebody that challenges – purely editor’s opinion) from someone newer to the NAT. On the other, Paul Deacon who has collated the experiences from a number of our members and shared their thoughts in “To Wedding Fair or Not to Wedding Fair?”

Some advice from Rodger Oatley on Wedding Fairs and whilst not in Paul’s article are well worth considering. ‘My tips are; don’t stand near the door as you will only meet and greet and nothing else. Get yourself into the centre of the room and don’t stand behind your table. I find getting to the other half is the best ploy as girls are only interested in all the girlie things, the boys need a bit of reassurance that you will take the pressure off them and the best man and that me as their Toastmaster will be the best investment they made on the day!!’

Finally, a plea - remember, TMV is your magazine. We always welcome your thoughts, stories, experiences, and ideas—whether you are new to the Association or have been part of it for years. This magazine thrives on your voice, so please keep the contributions coming or if you have not contributed - please give it a go!

Happy reading!

Richard Mitchell

All contributions to be sent to richard@cambridgetoastmaster.com The views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of the editor or the NAT. 6

Who am I? 1st Clue In my day you couldn’t make a commercial on television and be on a show at the same time and so I went into the world of tv commercials advertising such things as Stork margarine, Spear and Jackson gardening tools, Clerks shoes and a Dutch coffee and the best one for TWA when I was flown out to L A on to the set of the disaster movie to film. I had begun to dream what I was going to do with the money I would earn from repeats when on returning home I found that it was only shown once on the News at One as it had been cancelled by the CAA, the reasons for which are lost in the mist of time.!!!

2nd Clue Nobody seems to have guessed who I am! So, I will continue........

After my stint on commercial television my agent started to get me parts in such programmes as Z Cars, Angels, The Famous Five. I can still see myself on U-Tube and Grange Hill. In between I taught Speech and Drama and Elocution at the London Polytechnic. I found myself teaching cockney bank managers, people trying to rise up the ladder in Marks and Spencer and overseas students to speak standard English.

Then came a complete change of direction…. more next time.

THE NAT 100 CLUB – BE IN IT TO WIN IT! 2025 Winners January February March April

38 99 22 22

Tony Cooper Tony Forward Colin McGregor Colin McGregor

£20 £20 £20 £20

Dates for the diary Executive Committee Meeting Monday 12th May 2025 Monday 9th June 2025 Monday 15th September 2025

Annual General Meeting Sunday 5th October 2025

Summer Garden Party Sunday 10th August 2025

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I’LL DO WHAT I W HOM Many, many years ago I had a job at an hotel in Woodhall Spa in Lincolnshire. I was a last minute, desperate find for the hotel owner (some things never change) who offered a Toastmaster as part of his package. The Toastmaster he usually used was a senior gentleman who turned out for him at what really was a derisory fee, even back then. It was less than half the fee I was charging at the time and although he found my fee a difficult pill to swallow, a promise to a client is a promise, so swallow it he did.

Upon arrival, I met the new owner properly. It turns out that the was a member of a large Asian family. His father, who did not have much hotel experience, had bought the hotel “for a bargain”. Perhaps this should have sounded an alarm bell or two.

Nevertheless, he did and he had put his son in to run the place and to build up the business.

The hotel was a little tired and needed some work to bring it back to former glories.

However, the young man, with active support from his wife, was really trying to make a go of it. But he was having to work very, very hard. I was not convinced that he believed completely in what he was doing.

An event at the end of the evening proved why it was such an uphill struggle.

The day itself went well, the couple were married, the reception ran to time, as did the wedding breakfast. No one started a fight over the best man’s speech, all pretty positive really.

It was a late one for me though, I was finishing up at around 10.30. I was doing the “goodbye” rounds when I went into the bar to bid the couple farewell. Across one end of the quite large bar area was an enormous television screen. It had been off all day, but just as I was leaving it flickered into life and the music for “Match Of The Day” started playing. Everyone looked a little surprised, but not as surprised as they looked when they saw who was in charge of the television controls.

It was the father of the manager, the owner of the hotel. He had come into the bar wearing a vest and boxer shorts under an unfastened dressing gown to watch the day’s footballing highlights. His son tried to remonstrate with him, but the owner lost his

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WANT IN MY OWN ME! temper, told the son that it was his place and he could do what he wanted. There was no way he was going to be shifted, especially after he went behind the bar, poured himself a huge scotch and sat down on a huge sofa in front of the television.

At that point I left. It was getting beyond what I considered to be my area of responsibility.

I never went back. I don’t know if it is still operating as a going concern. Personally, I have my doubts.

Geoff Harris

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Curmudgeo Courtesy? Wh

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on’s Corner. hat Courtesy?

It has been a long time since I have penned an item for TMV. “A good job too” I hear you cry.

Tough.

First though some plaudits.

An excellent Christmas Lunch.

I continue to appreciate the excellence of the TMV, but as an organ for the membership it is, perhaps, under-used. It is a forum to which we can all contribute and benefit.

Now then, my main reason for writing.

When I joined the NAT, it was an unwritten rule, but a rule that was firmly understood, that if you received a job from another member two things would automatically take place.

The first of these is that whoever took the job would pay a commission or finder’s fee of 10% to the referrer as a “thank you”. It would encourage the referrer to pass on work again and also say “Thank you for thinking of me and for taking the trouble to pass on my details.” Simple and courteous.

The second of these is perhaps a little more important. If you have taken a referred job and from that you are offered other work, it is the done thing to either ask the booker to contact the referrer first and ask if they are available, or to contact the referrer yourself and tell them about the offer. You can then sort out the next step, probably amicably between yourselves.

what is the likelihood of the original referrer passing on work to you again?

There are exceptions of course.

I have an arrangement with a couple of other NAT members not to accept a finder’s fee. We simply swap jobs and it all evens out. The important thing is that it has been mutually agreed.

In the case of the second instance, it may be that the client is insistent on making the choice. If this is the case then again the finder’s fee should apply, you do not simply take the job and say nothing.

Perhaps I am being old-fashioned and it can all be blamed on COVID as so many other things are these days, but I think it matters.

It is a courtesy that some members are now just ignoring, or have I missed a discussion somewhere that decided that the finder’s fee and the right of the referee has been abolished?

If you find yourself in either of these dilemmas there is one simple solution, speak to each other. By and large we are reasonable human beings, it is a part of the job. When I trained it was drummed into me that communication is the key to making things work. Communicate with each other.

Do not generate hard feelings and ill-will by ignoring simple and plain courtesy.

It will come back to bite you.

If you just take the job then it is biting the hand that feeds you and is nothing other than extremely discourteous. Not only that,

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TO WEDDING FAIR O FAI I asked members to give me their opinions on wedding fairs and I think their views, copied below, make for interesting reading.

It seems to me that depending what area of work you operate in, wedding fairs may or may not be useful and the following comments give a wide range of opinions.

To my mind, the promise of a booking from a bride just asking for a card or brochure without any other discussion seldom seem to lead anywhere. I often wonder to what extent meeting a Toastmaster leads to a booking with a different Toastmaster. Far better, for instance, as Past-President Tony Forward writes to become a preferred supplier at a venue.

He told me that “most of my jobs were conferences and commercial banquets.

I only ever did one proper wedding fair when the late Peter Craft invited me to join him at one in Aldershot. As a result, I did a wedding in Kent and the bridegroom was the brother of a hotel manager in Sussex.

She contacted me and made me their permanent TM. I did their wedding fairs but not to advertise myself but to meet and greet and compere their wedding fashion show. I seemed to get booked for weddings without doing wedding fairs and managed over 1,000 weddings in my 20 years.”

Tony’s comments are endorsed by Geoff Harris: “I find wedding shows very fruitful, at least some are”, he explains and goes on to report that “the most successful are now generally termed as ‘Showcases’ and are put on by venues themselves rather than a wedding show company. This tends to mean that the suppliers there are the preferred suppliers of the venue itself, and this is something of an instant “leg up”, especially if the couple are thinking of using the venue.

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I also find it benefits if you can be seen doing things. At one showcase recently, I made an announcement and a couple liked what I did and booked me!”

President Robert Persell says “I don’t do wedding fairs because most of my work is corporate and although I am happy to do weddings if requested, I don’t go searching for them. My weddings come from word of mouth predominantly on the Jewish circuit or are booked by Event Planners.”

Rory Windass has been frustrated. “From my experience so far, it is tricky to find any around my way that have space for new toastmasters. The one or two fairs I made enquiries for already had a Toastmaster on display, so I guess, without saying it outright, they sort of did yes, but in a more diplomatic and friendly way! I suppose they’re prioritising existing suppliers, then a new kid comes along, and they all say, “Hmmm...”. One phrase I recall one organiser using was, “We can’t really accommodate you as we haven’t seen you work; thus, we can’t verify you’re a reliable supplier”, or words to that effect.”

Tim Podesta has enjoyed doing many (nearly 50) weddings fairs over the years; ‘Particularly where I have a role to help the fair organisers, getting a free pass to offer my services, and also in the years leading up to the pandemic. Due to the pandemic and a perceptible shift in wedding fairs particularly the venues and clientele - I have found the wedding fairs much less productive as venues and clients for the fairs I have normally supported are much less in tune with the concept of having a formal ‘old school’ style toastmaster for weddings.’

OR NOT TO WEDDING IR? What do you think about these comments?

“I rarely pay to attend a wedding fair.

Organisers need a range of suppliers as much as they need good footfall. And I always ask for exclusivity. My view is that there are five suppliers a couple are looking for at a wedding fair. In random order they are: 1. A cake 2. A venue 3. A photographer 4. A dress 5. A DJ/band I think we come way down the list, especially if the wedding is a year or two away. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been asked: “And what do you do?”. My wedding fair table contains a long list of everything I’ve done at a wedding, such as - cleaned all the bridal party shoes and sewn up a Bridegroom’s clothes. Try getting a guest to do that! One other thing. I don’t like being positioned at the entrance to a wedding fair because I prefer to be amongst the other suppliers, and to be seen as such.” So says Secretary Michael Myers.

The regional comments from past-President Stephen Sanders are intriguing: “Having done in the region of 20 fairs a year in the Greater Manchester, Cheshire, Merseyside & Lancashire areas, some of the smaller ones for which I never paid a fee were the best. I always made myself available to make any announcements required such as introducing the other wedding suppliers, welcoming guests as they arrived and sometimes acting as compare for the catwalk show, I never charged the organisers, and they never charged me; my reward was the bookings which always came my way. I

always found the larger fairs run by national companies and bridal magazines charging over the top prices to dozens of wedding suppliers, less rewarding and although I did give them a go, I always found the smaller fairs were best.”

And, if you wanted a better summary to this article, it could not be better than these words: “I get invited to attend many wedding fairs and could spend a lot of money if I accepted all these invitations.

On advice taken from my son who has been in the wedding industry a lot longer than I have; I only attend fairs that do not charge suppliers and therefore have no financial risk should the fair be poorly attended or provide no bookings. This also culls the fairs to a realistic 7 to 10 per year. I find mixed results regarding bookings received on the day and following, but sometimes it can be very good. In my opinion, the best part is cementing a solid relationship with the venue which often leads to a listing as a recommended supplier plus referrals from them when they are going through the booking process with new couples.” Thank you to Tim Chandler.

Paul Deacon

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THE IMPORTANCE OF B

BY EARNES When it comes to weddings, there seems to be a belief that having a toastmaster creates a level of formality. Sometimes people view ‘formality’ as archaic. But, if by formality we mean the event runs like clockwork and everyone is relaxed and happy then, yes, you could argue that.

It is important to remember, though, that an event doesn’t have to appear formal because of the presence of the toastmaster; the ‘formality’ can be completely invisible. I put to you that toastmasters are – in fact – modern. We are as modern in style as each event requires, while remaining super organised and professional. In other words, we mustn’t allow visual informality to distract from running a well-oiled event which is, of course, totally in line with the wishes of the couple.

It strikes me that more couples could hire a toastmaster. Many toastmasters I meet do other jobs, too, like being celebrants or ministers. Vice versa, too, some celebrants are becoming toastmasters.

Why is that? Is it just a general observation?

Is it just individual observation or a sign of a wider issue? I believe it’s both. Because I can’t unsee what I’ve observed and let it not influence my outlook.

Hindsight can be confusing. For example, a long-married couple who chose not to have a toastmaster at their wedding all those years ago might, down the line, regret it.

The opposite could also happen, a couple that had a toastmaster might think, 30 years down the line, that the best man, or another guest could have done that – completely overlooking the hard work and attention to detail in preparation and on the day itself 14

that the toastmaster will have carried out.

Anecdotally, my parents didn’t have a toastmaster at their wedding – they didn’t know the value a toastmaster would have added. They also had several reasons not to: (1) the bride’s dad was an experienced public speaker, happy to make announcements; (2) the reception venue offered their manager to ‘compere’; (3) the bride had event experience and thought all bases were covered; and (4) the couple wanted a relaxed, informal day. In hindsight, a toastmaster would have been an asset, adding a layer of comfort for the couple and a layer of panache to the guest experience. My parents thought – misguidedly – that a toastmaster would create a formal atmosphere, when in reality they would have done the opposite and ensured the event was relaxed and informal.

Toastmasters don’t make weddings formal by default, they make it however the couple want their day.

What leads me to think this is part of a wider issue? There is a lack of education and understanding, as I have observed, in the public sphere of things like the order of precedence, titles and post nominals, how to order them properly – pre-ambles and introductions. Those who think they know what they’re doing get it wrong. Sometimes cringeworthily.

Here is an example: I was working at a local political party dinner (not as a toastmaster – they hadn’t hired one). The guest speaker was The Rt Hon. Suella Braverman, KC, MP. Did they get the Loyal Toast right? Or did they say something more like, “It gives me great pleasure to raise a glass with you all this evening to his most honourable and

EING A TOASTMASTER: ST ERNEST glorious sovereign majesty... long pause...

King Charles, and his most beautiful wife, our Queen Camilla. And I remember when I introduced him in the late ‘90s, he was most wonderful, anyway, I’m going on a bit now, so if you’d all like to stand and raise your glasses to... The King.” Everyone stood up, replied, ‘The King’, and sat down again.

I will leave you, the reader, to guess which scenario happened.

At another event I attended recently, with special guest the High Sheriff of Essex, I observed an official from the event make an announcement completely incorrectly, saying, “Pray silence for the deputy lieutenant of Essex, who is also a high sheriff, Mrs Fosh.” Afterwards, I was chatting to the announcer and mentioned that a high sheriff outranks a deputy lieutenant, and, anyway, doesn’t a lord-lieutenant outrank a high sheriff? He was quick in his put down and said “No, a deputy lieutenant is appointed directly by the king and therefore becomes a high sheriff, so, if the King were present, they would be looking after him”. While

he had the right idea, from my training, I understand this to be incorrect, or, at least, misunderstood – and it highlights the importance of having the knowledge and skill to get it right when the time comes – that’s why we need toastmasters. We might think – in this modern world where ‘formality’ is considered passé – that it’s acceptable to get our announcements, order of precedence, pre-ambles or intros wrong.

Is that really acceptable? I don’t think so.

Do we need to challenge this? Yes. How do we challenge it? That’s another article.

No matter how old, educated, experienced, knowledgeable, interested, disinterested or downright pompous we are, we must not let anything cloud our judgement when it comes to getting the facts right. You never know, someone might be casually observing, and might include misguided statements as anecdotes in articles for the NAT.

Rory Windass

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Midlands Regional Meeting On the evening of Thursday 27th February 2025 there was a Midlands regional meeting of NAT members and their partners at Paddy’s Marten Inn in Leicester.

A total of 13 people sat down to dinner (not always an unlucky thing). A dinner full of laughter, good food and conversation. This conversation ranged from the President Trump to “how have they done that with a cauliflower?”

It was a wonderfully eclectic group with representatives from as far afield as Wakefield and Kent. Our president Robert also made the trip and it was great to see him. He was a little wary of the area in which the restaurant is situated but once we had managed to convince him that he did not have to leave a guard on his vehicle and that he didn’t have to padlock it to a lamppost, he relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed himself.

As well as Robert, other attendees were IPP Tom Reddy and Sue, PP Peter Thompson, Nina Vaseer and Sanjay, Suzanne and Nigel (who was pretending he was called Nick on this particular evening), Geoff Harris and Gayna, Nick Gazzard and eventually the marvellous Martin Moorhouse and Marie.

Nick Gazzard is a new trainee, and Geoff and Tom are waiting to see if he comes back after meeting everyone.

All levity aside, this can be a way ahead for the NAT. The regional meetings were initiated by PP Richard Heywood during his term of office, and following the demise of the weekend socials and alongside the Christmas lunch it looks to be one of the few opportunities for us as an association to meet.

We are a very solitary profession, and at times this solitary nature can be a little overwhelming. It is good to get together to chew the fat (or the vindaloo) every now and then. It is good to tell our own versions of fisherman’s tales. It is good to meet people whom we have only ever seen on the website and to establish contacts.

Also, as was clearly shown, the title “regional” is something of a misnomer.

Simon will, I am sure, be organising a southern meeting before long, as with this meeting it will be open to all. Please avail yourselves of the opportunity to establish old contacts and to make new.

If it is anything like the most recent midlands meeting, you will have a hoot.

Then of course there is the whole area of reestablishing regular Zoom meetings. Has to be worth some thought.

Another time perhaps.

Geoff Harris

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From the Archive The Clint and Brad Story CLINT and BRAD were both fully paid up members of the Tried and Tested Top of the Tree Terrific Toastmaster‘s Troup, or T.T.T.T.T.T.T and were enjoying their work.

One day CLINT was offered a job at the Royal Carlton Embassy Ballroom and Bingo Hall, Cemetery Road, Scunthorpe, but as he was already working at the Mayfair, Dorchester, Savoy Working Men’s Club, Hoxton, he couldn’t take it. So he gets on the blower to BRAD and says to him, “Are you working on Sunday, 32nd November and if not, would you like to do one of them Mason‘s gigs at the Royal Carlton Embassy Ballroom and Bingo Hall, Cemetery Road, Scunthorpe, from 5 o’clock to one ak emma? Fee frumpence ha’penny plus 38p towards your petrol.” “Yes, great,” says Brad and duly does the job.

A couple of days or so after the gig, CLINT rings BRAD and says, “How did you get on with that gig at the Royal, Carlton……… (well you know the rest!) on the 32nd November? I know you sent me the usual ‘comm’, as thanks but did it go well?”

“Wonderful,” says BRAD, “I did a great job and they loved me. They’ve booked me for next year and I gave away a few cards to possible punters!”

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Now, CLINT was a bit more worldly wise than Brad and had been around the agencies for a few years and at this afflicting bit of news he got a bit hot under the collar.

“But that’s my job.” He moaned. “You have no right to book it yourself. Also”, he went on, “if you are doing a gig for another Toastmaster who put you in there, you shouldn’t go giving away your cards. It ain’t the done thing! Now I know you’re a sort of new boy on the block, but one thing you must learn is that when you’re working in place of a colleague, you are required to pass any enquiries back through him. Now Brad, don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely delighted that you went well and they liked you, but you was a bit naughty in booking it for next year and giving your cards away.”

BRAD was absolutely desolate. He grovelled an apology and said, “CLINT, I’m really very sorry mate. I really wasn’t told that that was what we were supposed to do. Oh sure, I was trained by the best teachers in the business like you, but they didn’t tell me that I was to tell any future punters but they should get in touch with you. I really am very sorry and if I get any enquiries from them I will let you know. An’ of course the job next year will go back to you!”

Now CLINT was a kind, generous and forgiving sort of bloke and said, “OK BRAD me old mate, I’ll forgive you this

e – Autumn 2007 time. But I must warn you that if you do it again, me or any other member of the T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T. your name will be mud and you’ll likely as not, get no more work.

And they shook hands over the telephone and we’re all luvvy-duvvy again; and the next time they met CLINT bought BRAD a very large scotch and BRAD bought CLINT a large lemonade - and they lived happily ever after.

A silly story with a moral!

None of us should forget that any job passed from one member to another is still within the remit of the first member (or in the story CLINT). Any inquiry that the second Toastmaster (BRAD) may be offered must be channelled back through CLINT. He must never dish his business card out. It is not always easy to manage but we are

reminded by the clause printed in contracts that all theatrical agents provide, which states that…’Any offer of any engagement received as a result of this booking within the year - must be passed back through the agent.

Hope you like the soppy story, but get the message.

Bryn Williams - Founder and Former Life Vice President

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All contributions to be sent to richard@cambridgetoastmaster.com The views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of the editor or the NAT.