04 Adding Gravitas to the Everyday
MINUTIA
VOL
EDITION 04 WINTER 2022
FEATURES THIS EDITION
Micro - the sexy way of saying small •The art of the strop • The don’t do list
Thanks to the photographers who featured in this edition. Their work is credited and can be found on www.unsplash.com
Cover @sxy_selia
Photo Credit
No part of this publication may be fully or partially reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher
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editor’s letter There is one New Year’s resolution we must never ever make – and that is to only value the exciting aspects of life. Given that the boring, dull and extraordinary makes up a large proportion of our day, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment if we can’t find the meaning and the humour in what’s readily accessible to us. Added to which, what’s boring to one person is quite the opposite to another, so isn’t it better to work out what we personally find interesting? In this first edition of 2022, we evaluate the importance of the don’t do list and why we are in denial about our age. We debate the merits and drawbacks of going into a strop, and why even as we bear witness to something extraordinary, you can bet we’re
Lucy Austin Managing Editor
thinking about having a wee. Talking of opportunities, we have some top tips for maximising productivity when the mood takes us and learning to keep the thanking process short and sweet. It’s the beginning of a brand new year, so let’s start as we mean to go on. There’s plenty to be had in the mundane. Enjoy!
EDITORIAL/PHOTOGRAPHY ENQUIRIES
BLOG
hello@minutia-life.com
minutia-life.com SOCIAL MEDIA Twitter / @minutialife
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minutia - the highlights Semi Curious
09
We want to find out what someone from the past is doing - well sorta
Thanking Me Thanking You
13
There’s only so much thanking that can be done
On Fire
16
Rarely are we in that mood to do certain things. Best make the most of it
Familiarity
18
Sometimes things are just too familiar
The Don’t Do List
23
Why not bothering is the way forward
Strops
Right @andre-hunter Middle @polarmermaid
Photo Credits
No matter how old we get, we don’t half love being in a mood
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27
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There’s nothing wrong with having a few choice words ready
A little Bit Shit
30
Saying it out loud makes everything a bit better
Whatevs
32
Even in the most extraordinary of circumstances, we still need the loo
Taking an Age
37
Why we are in denial about getting older
The Thing
39
We don’t want it be a thing but it is a thing
Miss Find Advice
40
Important problems, important advice
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Photo Credits
Left @vincentguth Middle @vincentguth
Perfect Sentence
6
the small stuff NO BECAUSE OF YES Taking it For Granted We miss saying ‘no’ instead of ‘yes’ just because we can. ‘No’ only ever takes precedence
because
the
‘yes’ option is always there. When the yes option gets removed, the no starts to feel distinctly more depressing. Let’s
just
say
yes.
BIG GENERAL QUESTIONS Is it Okay Not to Answer Them in Texts? Attempting to catch up with someone who wants us to summarise what we’ve been up to in the last couple of years over text, definitely falls into the category of ‘can’t be arsed’. The short-hand we once enjoyed together has been forgotten - but so has the need to share the small details. Let’s not waste time composing an overly long and bland text summarising our life. Let’s leave it another couple of years.
ENJOY THE BIG IDEA But Make a Note To think that we thought we
would
remember
it!
Top Left @chadmadden• Bottom Left @jdiegoph Top Right @orrbarone • Bottom Middle@agk42 Bottom Right @polarmermaid
Photo Credits
We were so confident we would be able to recall the genius idea, we didn’t bother making a note of it. And then just like that, the idea went out of our heads. Poof! Never to be seen again.
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BOUGHT A CARD
LOOK AWAY Yes, That Means You
Just Got to Post It
The plan is to stop reading
We have finally got round
the news online and go do
to writing a birthday card.
something more important.
Not only have we been to
However, a great deal can
the shops, but we have also
happen in those seconds
searched out the address,
we’re
down
our
and have a pen to hand to
out
the
write it on the freshly licked
corner of our eye, words
envelope. We’re going to
and
send it on time! In a whirl of
closing
device.
From
images
distract
and
threaten to derail what is
self-congratulatory
essentially, a simple task.
at our own efficiency, we
marvel
The challenge has become
then go to post it. The
Herculean.
stamp. Bugger, the stamp.
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We often use buzz-words in our everyday conversations, because
everybody
else
does - even if we not entirely sure mean,
what or
they
actually
whether
they
work within that particular sentence. All we care about is sounding on-trend.
THE DECORATING TOOL-KIT Where’s the Sodding Masking Tape We decide we’re going to decorate and equip ourselves accordingly. We find old clothes that were probably okay to wear, but with one splash of paint, we seal their fate. We have masking tape that may or may not take off the existing paint. There’s cardboard that somehow still wrecks the floor and a cloth that is never clean and just smears paint around. This decorator’s tool kit creates triumphant moments and ‘oh shit’ ones in equal measure.
NICE TO SEE YOU But Bye Bye They seem to be pleased to
see
you
but
already
making their apologies to go. Transit is their go-to, their default, their buffer, their excuse. Never in the moment. Always pressing forward. Gotta go.
THE CALCULATOR
KEEPING COAT ON
Adds Gravitas
Stress Levels Rise
In a fit of nostalgic chat, we
Being indoors for any length
take so long to work out how
of time with someone who
long we’ve known someone,
doesn’t want to take their
the
coat
mental
arithmetic
off
is
surprisingly
detracts from the enjoyment
stressful. It has the effect
of being in the company of
of making us continually
an old friend. We could just
worry that the person with
quickly whip out a calculator
the puffa jacket on is either
to work out how long it’s
cold, feeling unwelcome or
been. We would have more
about to go out. We cope by
time
continually going on to them
to
get
sentimental.
about it until they give in.
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Photo Credits
Drop Them Into Chat
Top Right @glen-carrie • Top Left @roselyntirado • Bottom Left: @dapperprofessional Bottom Middle @mitchorr • Bottom Right @thomholmes
BUZZ-WORDS
8
self
green-ish thinking Recycling is really about feeling good about ourselves, so why drill down to the details? We love recycling. It’s not just the idea of having fewer black sacks. There is something about making a self-congratulatory gesture towards the environment that feeds our soul. All the while we’re making the gesture of earnestly sorting out the plastic from the glass and general crap, we’re good people. We have no clue of what happens when the recycling truck disappears around the corner - nor can we be arsed to watch a documentary to find out either. What we would much rather do is stick our head in the bin and imagine that truck disappearing into a cloud of dry ice. Just as long as our narrative doesn’t Right @weshicks
Photo Credit
involve a stagnating landfill, we’re happy.
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We want to find out how that someone we no longer see is doing. Sort of.
There’s a gap in the market for a half-arsed detective, one who specialises in tracking down those people we lost touch with and occasionally wonder about. Once in a blue moon, tepid curiosity combined with nostaglia prompts us to idly entertain finding out what happened to them. We don’t want to go to too much trouble, mind. Just a few Googles and a bit of a browse on LinkedIn will do. Despite this, common sense says we have left it this long so why bother to do anything? At the same time, it would still be nice to tie up the loose ends and create a beginning, middle and end to their storyline in our lives. Not that we’d do anything with the knowledge gained. We’d just go back to forgetting all about them.
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Photo Credit
semi curious
Left @chaseelliottclark
observations
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‘What you did was impulsive, capricious, and melodramatic but it
Moira Rose ‘Schitts Creek’ (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation 2015 - 2020)
Quote Credit
was also wrong..’
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quo
ote
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self
The word ‘micro’ is quite beautiful. It just sounds so much more impressive than ‘small’. Not surprisingly, ‘micro’ is often used as a prefix. In fact, people are now putting it at the beginning of everything they want to sound bigger and more established. Micro-brewery. Micro-pub. Micro-bakery - with that one word, every offering can be elevated and somehow, made more legitimate next to the larger players. For such a
Right @sxy_selia
Photo Credit
little word, having a ‘micro’ something or other has become a big deal.
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micro A sexy way of saying small.
The moment when we thank someone needs to be a finite exchange. It must end at some point. After all, there’s only so much thanking that can be done. We have said that we are grateful and have gone into manners autopilot. Short of writing a handwritten note with quill and ink, we have reached a saturation point in gratitude but still feel more needs to happen. When does the thanking stop? Do we thank the person who’s thanked us, or leave it? Is it rude not to acknowledge the thanks, or do we double-down and complete the thank you circle? Surely, if we become
There’s only so much thanking that can be done.
thanked out, the exchange doesn’t seem so thankful anymore? Perhaps a single heart-felt thanks - within hearing shot, over text, written on paper or via a banner in the sky - will have to do.
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Photo Credit
ta very muchly
Left @wilhelmgunkel
observations
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quo
‘There’s nothing we can’t do if we work hard, never sleep, and shirk from all other responsibilities in
Leslie Knope ‘Parks & Recreation’ (NBC 2009 - 2015))
Quote Credit
our lives.’
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ote
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16
on
self
fire You are in that very rare mood to do absolutely everything. Best not sit down then.
01
02
do half-assed ironing
reply to boring mails
Ironing is still widely considered to be
Instead
the world’s worst task. But what say as
important emails, we can pretend we
soon as we get up, we devote an hour
have a high-powered corporate role and
of our life to getting it done? We can
act on every single email as though our
then stand back and admire that neat
non-existent career depended on it. An
pile. We can feel momentarily smug as
empty in-box devoid of non-important
though we are done with having to ever
crap is a wonderful thing indeed.
do it again. Unfortunately, we are most
Right @ajwalker
Photo Credit
certainly not.
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of
avoiding
tackling
non-
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people 03
04
go for a walk
leave messages
As creatures of habit, it doesn’t take
There is nothing worse than ringing
much to swap out one regular habit
someone because we feel obliged to,
for another. Get a walk done first thing
only for them to have the audacity to
before we sit back down, and we can
pick up the phone. While we’d give
go through the rest of our day feeling
anything for it to go to voicemail, it
very wholesome. Alternatively, if our
won’t, and we need to accept that. Just
habit is to not go for a walk, do that
dial the number. Let’s get this talking
instead. Let’s consistently maintain
thing over with.
our standards, however high or low.
05
06
cook sophisticated
make a tiny, tiny start
Instead of panicking that the cupboards
The trouble with goals is that it’s so
are bare, we could take a closer look
enjoyable thinking about them, it gets
at what we have in our kitchen and
to the point where we almost feel like
get inventive. It doesn’t have to taste
we’ve achieved them. Why not take
brilliant or work well, but tackling
one teeny tiny step to get on the path,
the stock caused by overbuying will
otherwise we’ll be giving ourselves a
free us up to buy more jars and cans
hard time. Something, anything will do.
that just sit on the shelf for years.
07
08
order that thing
have a wee
We’ve done so much research and
Needing a wee needs to be dealt
looked at every single option. We talk
with. And yet we just allow ourselves
about our quest all the time and ask
to put up with a full bladder all day
people’s opinion, trawling the internet
long. Sure, there is an interval of not
for five-star reviews. Finally, we find
needing a wee quite as much, but when
ourselves ready to order the damn
desperate moment part deux kicks in,
thing, only to discover it’s not in stock.
we’re in trouble. It’s official: we might
For Fucks Sake!
actually pee ourselves. Go now. Go!
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18
self
familiarity 1 when it’s so familiar we don’t see it anymore
the battered sofa
We have had that sofa forever. It has seen better days. From time to time we look at it with fresh eyes and find ourselves a little sad at how tired and stained it looks. That doesn’t mean we do anything about it. You see we hold this sofa in such high regard, we choose to see past the frayed fabric and the colour that isn’t quite in vogue. Not only is it the perfect size, but over the years, it’s moulded to our shape so it’s super comfortable and feels like a warm hug. Besides, that sofa has witnessed a lot of comings and goings over the years. Lots of bums. That sofa is part of the family.
Not once does it occur to us to get rid of it. Why would we be in any hurry? If we were to replace it, it would only show up all the other tired and knackered possessions
we
own.
This
would
lead to a domino effect of obligatory upgrading all our furniture. Best not to disturb the shabby equilibrium. Best to carry on loving the flaws and
Right @brucemars
Photo Credit
personality. The sofa stays.
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those two front teeth
We hadn’t noticed our teeth had moved,
had in our head does not exist. Granted,
until now. Seeing those unforgiving
the teeth are not looking terrible,
photos comes as a shock as we never
but they are not looking quite as we
saw ourselves as having bad nashers.
thought. A bit wonky. A bit gummy. A
The memory of wearing a fixed brace
bit goofy. Briefly, we entertain the idea
during our teens is still wired into our
of doing the brace thing all over again.
brain as though it happened recently. In our mind, we went through all that
However, the dentist does not indulge
adolescent orthodontic pain for one
us and warns us that with our teeth,
reason: to be rewarded with perfect
we’d be signed up to orthodontic
looking teeth for life. Then we saw
treatment well into old age. It does the
those photos.
trick. Scared off, we decide to make do with our imperfect teeth, and settle for
Clearly our teeth have experienced
pretending we still have our teenage
years of slow movement like one of
smile. As for the photos, there is also a
those revolving rooftop restaurants.
thing called Photoshop too.
The Californian smile we thought we
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Photo Credit
2
Left@longlivehaas
self
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self
3
the spare room
In the movies, the spare room is museum-like. It’s a place where the bedding matches, where there are copious amounts of throw cushions stacked up in rows, in a room that is mainly empty, but for a guest dressing gown hanging up and a single book on the bedside table chosen with care. In real life, our spare-room is a little more
multifunctioning
-
working
double-duty as both a laundry room and civilized dumping ground. That’s not to say it doesn’t get used for special occasions – it does. Just after we’ve taken out all the crap. And because the spare room is only used for back-office drudgery, we don’t really put anything away because we don’t have to. Only when someone wants to come and stay are we forced to look at it in the cold light of day. Slightly annoyed at having to use it for its original purpose, we reluctantly set about making it ‘guest-friendly’. However, those un-ironed clothes on the bed are like a landfill site that never seems to go down. As for the only set of smart matching bed linen we own, it’s probably lost in the pile of clothes.
Right @by_kimberley
Photo Credit
Where to begin...
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4
those TV show synopses
In the age of ridiculous choice on TV, the choosing what to watch has become an entire process in itself. Scrolling up and down the list of shows is more addictive than the actual content. The more we search over the same familiar titles as yesterday, the more momentum over-rides our own need to watch anything at all. More than that, it’s become so familiar, we feel like we’ve seen it. And even if we pause on a show, it still triggers the preview bit, which gives us a little storyline in itself. It gets us thinking, why watch the entire programme at all when we’ve got the general gist of the story arc and the character development. We can tell whether it is going to be good – that is, if we can be bothered to watch it. We’re pretty much satisfied. The
pleasure
that
comes
from
imagining something is good is so great, who cares we don’t drill down to the details? We have neither the staying power nor the attention span to wait for anything - for the episode to start, for the episode to finish, for the new episode to begin. We are just in a state of high scrolling alert, and we like it that way.
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Photo Credit
Left @matheusfrade
self
Right @diana_pole
Photo Credit
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observations
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observations
ticked-off Isn’t it about time we embraced a bit of inefficiency and didn’t bother getting round to the todo list? We say fuck it! Compiling a to-do list is what we’re supposed to do. However, it’s much more satisfying and life affirming just to write down our tasks and then leave it at that. Despite the ongoing pressure to be perfect, a ‘don’t-do’ list gives us the same sense of security that we get from completing a task, but with none of the stress that having to tick it off brings. Having it written down lets us know exactly where we are at. And even if we are actually up shit creek for not having done any of the items, the effort spent thinking about the don’t-do list and the transparency of seeing the tasks in print makes us feel strangely organised, worry-free and in control. Turns out there is a big difference between sticking our head in the sand and simply choosing nothing about it. Right, where’s our pen and paper?
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‘I’m not superstitious, but I am a
Michael Scott ‘The Office’ (NBC 2005 - 2013)
Quote Credit
little stitious.’
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quo
ote
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self
top of the
strops Does being an adult ever have to stop us from going into a strop? Having a cob on, got the arse, in a huff, pissed off, in a mood, seriously fucked off, cold shoulder...given the sheer number of expressions at our disposal, strops have become a regular part of our repertoire. Strops haven’t changed much either. In fact, over the years, we have devoted so much time and energy to perfecting our strops, we’ve got fairly good at them. Just imagine a world where no one ever took offence? A world where we all just had it out and cleared the air. A world where we were mature and acted like reasonable human beings. How boring would that be? Strops allow us a moment of quiet drama, to take a bit of a detour and temporarily not be okay. The strop is a perfect halfway house, a passive aggressive buffer between offence and all hell breaking loose. If it wasn’t
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for the strop, people would be alone and
vocal
chords
non-existent.
Strops get bad press but ultimately, they ensure society stays civilised. And while ultimately, we need to get over the strop and get over ourselves, for a small finite period of time, there is nothing quite like the thrill of being in a huff. STROPS - THE PROS 1. They can be perfected over time 2. They act as a useful buffer 3. They stop us acting impulsively 4.They allow us to be passive aggressive on a small scale 5. They let someone know what we think without having to say a word STROPS - THE CONS 1. They give us a reputation
for
being a moody bugger 2. They are hard work to keep up 3.
They
gradually
change
the
friendship ecosystem 4. It takes energy letting people know we’re in a strop - energy that perhaps, could be better spent making amends
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Photo Credit Left @dre0316
self
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the perfect
sentence We need to market ourselves better. Time to have those eloquent sentences at the ready! The german word ‘treppenwitz’ means leaving a conversation before you think of the come-back you want. Given that this is a painfully common occurrence for most of us, perhaps we could aim to have a bank of perfect sentences to whip out when the moment requires? If we come prepared and have the perfect thing to say on the tip of our tongue, when people ask us about ourselves, or our opinion on something or of someone, eloquence won’t desert us. THE PERFECT SENTENCE 1.
Reasonably vague but sprinkled with enough details that someone feels like they got the full story
2.
Doesn’t invite further comments & shuts things down
3.
Succinct enough to leave no room for spontaneous extra details
4.
Carefree and casually delivered to look nonchalant
5.
Short enough to allow us to easily
Right @brett_jordan
Photo Credit
change topics
observations
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Sunday night takes years to master. And yes, there are rules On
a
Sunday
night,
under
no
circumstances should we partake in high adrenalin sport - or high adrenalin anything for that matter. And don’t even think about attempting to make a Sunday a Friday night. It doesn’t work. Sunday is that one night of the week that always feels the same. It’s a combination of melancholy, weariness and anticipation for the week ahead. So, this Sunday, let’s not take part in unnecessary activities like chatting on the phone, or hosting a dinner party, or going to bed too early, or watching a sad film. And whatever we do, let’s not attempt to get organised for Monday. That is the worst thing we can do.
food ownership For the sake of mankind, let’s stop wanging on about a secret recipe We do love to own a recipe. The number of times we are told that we must try someone’s ‘famous’ crumble, only for us to find that the reality is a fair to middling bog-standard dessert. It must stem from the era of the ‘secret recipes’ – the ones that were handed down through the generations, and while they always dazzled, could never be copied. Now that’s not happening so much. Perhaps in the email age, the dog-eared handwritten recipe book has been lost, so people are now resorting to publicising a signature dish that they harp on about whenever they cook it. And should we dare to turn down some of their ‘famous’ trifle, we are missing out on the culinary experience of a lifetime.
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Photo Credit
sunday-itis
Top Left @cottercrunch Bottom Right @anthonytran
observations
30
etiquette
a little
bit
shit The key to a happy life? Fully accepting when things are not good It takes an awfully long time for us to give up - an even longer time for us to not care. Sometimes, we are so determined to smooth things over or pretend something doesn’t exist, we try too hard to rescue the situation. It’s as if we hope that by going above and beyond, things might change. However, the moment we decide to sit in the truth and allow it to be exactly what it is, we make peace with
it
all.
There’s
something
very freeing about choosing not to
change
a
thing.
Why,
that
metaphorical shit hit the fan a very long time ago. Let’s just keep it keep whirring around until there’s no more shit left.
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Photo Credit Left @timmossholder
etiquette
32
observations
whatevs
Even if we are witness to the extraordinary, you can bet we’ve got our mind on other trivial things Not appreciating what we are supposed to appreciate must in our DNA.
WOULDN’T CHANGE A THING
In not being as impressed as we’re
That is the only explanation for why
And even when we start accruing a
supposed to be, we remain on an even
there are just too many times we pass
track record of lost opportunities, we
keel, meaning we can always weather
up being in the moment in favour of
still don’t change our attitude in the
the less extraordinary times too with-
more trivial concerns.
present day. There is seldom any regret
out despairing at how mundane our life
or wish it could have been savoured,
is. If much of life is spent doing ordi-
EPIC VIEW BUT NEED THE LOO
because we are always in the middle of
nary things, we mustn’t get too dazzled
Witnessing the extraordinary is not
turning our backs on yet another pic-
when something unexpected happens.
having the impact that it should. Such
turesque sunset.
Most important of all, keeping one
is the dominance of ordinary thoughts
foot on the floor and not in the clouds
that the aurora borealis could be hap-
While academically we know that we
champions our need to believe that
pening right in front of us and we would
are passing up on golden opportuni-
there will always be more opportuni-
still be too busy thinking about the
ties, our automatic response feels as
ties to see the Northern Lights. Being
mundane. Instead of marvelling and
reasonable today as it did then. Should
ever-so-slightly blase makes us feel
oohing and ahhing, we are too busy de-
we be offered the same choice again,
invincible as though we’re ignoring
bating whether we need the loo.
we would make the same decision.
the impermanence of life. All the while
Right • unsplash.com/@vingtcent
Photo Credit
we’re turning down big-ticket items, GOT THE GENERAL GIST
ATTITUDE PROBLEM
Apart from the occasional regret, most
There are no two ways about it - we
of the time we’re not even hard on
are spoilt brats. How dreadful to be
UNAWED BY THE AWE
ourselves about having this cavalier
looking at our watch during special
So next time we decide we need the
nature. We lean into this behaviour, as
moments. But if we look closer at our
loo halfway through a rare sighting of
though it is reasonable to declare that
ambivalence, our casual attitude is a
a mountain leopard,
we have seen enough, got the general
self-preservation method of sorts. In
trip to the Opera in favour of watching
gist and are off to watch some crap on
not over-reacting to the extraordinary,
shit TV at home, why don’t we forgive
the telly. It does not matter how imper-
we maintain our equilibrium. We tem-
ourselves? Perhaps a truly happy life
manent or mind-blowing something is,
per the comedown that always hap-
comes from the taking-for-granted-
give it ten minutes and our mundane
pens after going from extreme wonder
ness of it all.
side finds a way to overshadow it.
to dullness and chart a stable course.
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we’re going to live forever aren’t we?
or turn down a
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Photo Credit Left • @vingtcent
observations
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observations
No two expressions of concentration are ever the same. There is something about someone sporting a solemn slightly perplexed expression - often with a tongue hanging out of the mouth - that reduces even the most aloof person to someone rather less scary. So, if you ever feel intimidated by anyone, just look at them when they are counting out change, attempting to use an electric scooter, or plugging something in. The feeling of envy soon passes.
ms smiley We don’t plan for smiley people having an off day. Always smiley - always. We get so used to their smiles, we never once think of how we would feel if they didn’t seem so smiley. We take their good nature for granted. We even privately wonder how on earth they keep it up and if it’s more annoying than nice. And then one devastating day, the smile isn’t quite as bright. They seem distracted and are not as quick to find everything we say hilarious. Or gather themselves before declaring they truly are fine. Our reaction isn’t smiley either. It’s one of devastation. Utter devastation. We pray for the day that their mega watt smile is restored. Until that time comes our peace of mind is on hiatus. We no longer count on them being un-
Top Right • @niklas_hamann Bottom Right • @jonathanbob
Photo Credit
conditionally smiley. The world is a bit greyer than normal.
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the face of focus
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actually get as far as pencilling something in the diary, all the while knowing full well we just filled in the silences with empty promises and won’t be following through. No pen is ever used.
We have absolutely no intention of
Perhaps, we shouldn’t feel too guilty
meeting up. Ever. However, in order to
about dancing this futile dance. The
get round this, we insist on doing a fa-
fact we go through this routine every
miliar patter every time we see them.
single time would suggest that they
Gosh we haven’t seen them for so long,
too don’t want to meet up. It takes a
we say, and we must get a date in. And
determined effort from both sides to
we don’t know where time goes. Most
tread water. Arranging to never meet
of the time it stops there, but occasion-
takes resolve.
ally it’ll go to the next stage, and we’ll
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Photo Credit
let’s not meet. ever
Left • @julensan09
observations
Right • unsplash.com/@niklas_hamann
Photo Credit
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observations
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Why do we try to play grown ups? We are the grown ups It
starts
with
people’s It
guessing
ages
ends
finding
other
incorrectly. out
that
we
are actually older than them. The older we get, the greater the
blind spot is between how
we perceive ourselves and the actual reality. At a certain point we forget we are getting on a bit. This
refusal
to
acknowledge
the facts about ageing is either because we secretly think we are way cooler than we actually are, or that we need that feeling of immortality to take on the world. time
However, it’s
most
because
our
of
the inner
selves haven’t changed at all. You can bet that no matter how old we get, we will still want to giggle at something that sounds a bit rude. We will always have the urge to do a middle finger behind a certain someone’s back. And given half the chance we’d still choose sprinkling our sentences with the F-bomb too.
That is why we are
shocked at our age. Our inner child is the same as it ever was.
37
Photo Credit
taking an age
Left • @julensan09 @lucian_alexe
observations
Right • @sadswim
Photo Credit
38
Minutia
xxx observations
Minutia
It’s so hard not to have a thing about the thing for the simple reason that it’s a thing It’s the thing that has us obsessing.
peace of mind will be found – only that
The thing has no bearing to reality, nor
it won’t. The genie has escaped the
is the thing particularly important, but
bottle.
for whatever reason it is all consuming and we mull it over far more than
What Comes Next
we should. As with all things we give
So, now we are now at that precarious
too much oxygen to, the thing becomes
tipping point where if we act on how
even bigger to us. All of the moving
we are feeling, what we feel will man-
parts now exaggerated and monstrous
ifest itself as a real-life thing. The act
in our heads.
of acting on it will be the thing we remember, and we won’t be able to see
It’s Official
the wood for the trees.
At this stage the thing has evolved into something else entirely. We can’t
There is no choice but to surrender to
rationalise as we’ve gone well beyond
the fact we are caught between a rock
that point. So now we resort to try-
and a hard place. Best to do nothing
ing to control the feelings that have
but rage quietly in our heads and wait
emerged and not tackle the original
for the thing to subside. Eventually, the
problem. The original thing is a thing
relief we didn’t do a thing about the
of the past, replaced by something far
thing will be the thing that overshad-
more stressful - our own thought pro-
ows it and we will finally move on. Or
cess.
so we hope. We can’t be sure. You see, it’s a thing.
Then, having spent far too long going around in circles, we think we’ve made peace with the thing, only to wake at 5am with it having invaded our dreams. We are now tired, which only serves to add fuel to the fire. We declare that
39
Photo Credit
the thing
Left • unsplash.com/@kimsondoan
xxx observations
40
dear ms find Why not get advice from Ms Find, our resident agony aunt?
Right Lisa McNair
Illustration Credit
Unimportant problems only, people
Minutia
advice
column
dilemma 1
dilemma 2
Why do I hold onto trophies?
Storyline too complicated
Dear Ms Find
Dear Ms Find,
I find it impossible to throw trophies away. Is this normal or an ego problem?
I find it very hard to disguise what I’m thinking on my face. Any tips?
Thanks, Yours Holding onto the Win
Not a Poker Face
answer
answer
Winning anything is everything
Politely does it
Dear Holding onto the Win,
Dear Not a Poker Face,
The idea of tossing a trophy into a
If you can’t disguise your feelings, then
black sack feels like a terrible act to
just adopt a fixed smile. Sure, the smile
commit. It’s as though we are sticking
will never quite reach your eyes, but it’s
two fingers up at winning and risking
polite - two-faced but polite.
a losing streak – even though let’s face it, we wouldn’t be considering
Yours,
adding to a landfill site would we if we
Ms Find
had a trophy cabinet crammed with important prizes. That’s why if you just have the one prize, I would recommend holding onto it for dear life. Yours, Ms Find
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