New Splicer Volume 3.7

~NEW SPLICER~ December 2012

Volume 3.7

In this issue Topic of the month: Bastet the first LOL cat...

Don’t forget to Meow

Catnip When Cats rule the world...

Meow Meow Iron Like A Lion In Zion...

The Selfless Cat... and much more!

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Foreword So many thanks to so many people and so many pets! Thank you to all those who sent in cat pics and your tails of LOLs. A special thanks to the ladies of HellCatAlley who have kept us at New Splicer smiling for a long time now, go check them out!

This issue has been a long time in the making, quality over quantity [I hope I hear you say and not just the voices], real science took centre stage for a while but hopefully I shall bring these exciting developments to a future issue.

I had a beautiful ride with this issue over the past few months, cats are indeed good fun.

And a secret thanks to my favourite cat Leo. Thanks for the Meows... ~New Splicer~

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~~~~~~~~~ToPIC of the Month~~~~~~~~ Bastet the first LOL cat.

I came across the Egyptian belief in cats as gods from a young age; nimble, regal and prissy it is not too difficult to see why they became revered as gods. It was also nice to discover that as a scientist I had something in common with this deity; Bastet was the goddess of Protection against contagious diseases & evil spirits. For some reason I am reminded of sneezing, Azezel and transference [the power of a god in a meow].

Bastet is the name commonly used by scholars today to refer to a feline goddess of ancient Egyptian religion who was worshipped at least since the Second Dynasty. Her name is also spelled Bast, Baast, Ubasti and Baset. A load of bast. From the third millennium BC, when Bastet begins to appear in the record, she is depicted as either a fierce lioness or a woman with the head of a lion. Images of Bast were created from a local stone, named alabaster today. Originally she was viewed as the protector goddess of Lower Egypt. As protector, she was seen as defender of the pharaoh, and consequently of the later chief male deity, Ra, who was a solar deity, gaining her the titles Lady of Flame and Eye of Ra.

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Her role in the Egyptian pantheon became diminished as Sekhmet, a similar lioness war deity, became more dominant in the unified culture of Lower and Upper Egypt. In the first millennium BC, when domesticated cats were popularly kept as pets, Bastet began to be represented as a woman with the head of a cat and ultimately emerged as the Egyptian cat-goddess par excellence. In the Middle Kingdom, the domestic cat appeared as Bastet’s sacred animal and after the New Kingdom she was depicted as a woman with the head of a cat or a lioness, carrying a sacred rattle and a box or basket.

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History and connection to other gods Cats in ancient Egypt were highly revered, partly due to their ability to combat vermin such as mice, rats [As a scientist, I am also good at this]which threatened key food supplies - and snakes, especially cobras [I am not good with snakes]. Cats of royalty were, in some instances, known to be dressed in golden jewellery and were allowed to eat from their owners’ plates. It is estimated that during the Twenty-second dynasty c.945-715 BC, Bastet worship changed to being a major cat deity (as opposed to a lioness deity). With the unification of the two Egypts, many similar deities were merged into one or the other, the significance of Bast and Sekhmet, to the regional cultures that merged, resulted in a retention of both, necessitating a change to one or the other. During later dynasties, Bast was assigned a lesser role in the pantheon, but retained.

[Cat demotion, next thing you know they will be pets, then cute internet phenomena and then retake their rightful position amongst the gods].

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In the temple at Per-Bast some cats were found to have been mummified and buried, many next to their owners. More than 300,000 mummified cats were discovered when Bast’s temple at Per-Bast was excavated. The main source of information about the Bast cult comes from Herodotus who visited Bubastis around 450 BC during the heyday of the cult. Turner and Bateson suggest that the status of the cat was roughly equivalent to that of the cow in modern India. The death of a cat might leave a family in great mourning and those who could would have them embalmed or buried in cat cemeteries - pointing to the great prevalence of the cult of Bastet. Extensive burials of cat remains were found not only at Bubastis, but also at Beni Hasan and Saqqara. In 1888, a farmer uncovered a plot of many hundreds of thousands of cats in Beni Hasan [Not this Farmer].

As divine mother, and more especially as protector, for Lower Egypt, Bastet became strongly associated with Wadjet, the patron goddess of Lower Egypt. She eventually became Wadjet-Bast, paralleling the similar pair of patron (Nekhbet) and lioness protector (Sekhmet) for Upper Egypt. Bast fought an evil snake named Apophis.

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Later perception Later scribes sometimes renamed her Bastet, a variation on Bast consisting of an additional feminine suffix to the one already present, thought to have been added to emphasize pronunciation; perhaps it is a diminutive name applied as she receded in the ascendancy of Sekhmet in the Egyptian pantheon. Since Bastet literally meant, (female) of the ointment jar. Her name was related with the lavish jars in which Egyptians stored their perfume. Bast thus gradually became regarded as the goddess of perfumes, earning the title, perfumed protector. In connection with this, when Anubis became the god of embalming, Bast, as goddess of ointment, came to be regarded as his wife.

The Gayer-Anderson cat, believed to be a representation of Bastet

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Lower Egypt’s loss in the wars between Upper and Lower Egypt led to a decrease in the ferocity of Bast. Thus, by the Middle Kingdom she came to be regarded as a domestic cat rather than a lioness. Occasionally, however, she was depicted holding a lioness mask, hinting at her potential ferocity.

Because domestic cats tend to be tender and protective of their offspring, Bast also was regarded as a good mother, and she was sometimes depicted with numerous kittens. Consequently, a woman who wanted children sometimes wore an amulet showing the goddess with kittens, the number of which indicated her own desired number of children.

In popular culture

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Catnip I appear to be inducing bipolar disorder, manic without the depression [that occasionally arrives, but feels more like a hangover.. [Inducible, mania through lack of sleep and unrelenting drive to create and to prove something].

My cat has never done drugs.

I was once asked how I manage to have a social life, expand our understanding of science and write a magazine all at once. I for the past five or so years have lived on approximately 5 hours sleep a night and I will be the first to tell you this is not enough! However, simply through unrelenting determination have I made it this far. I would like to say the energy I put into all my pursuits could only be sustained temporarily [indeed I have been waiting for my own downfall, perhaps that was even the point to all this? Creative explosion to dust?]. Two years later the magazine and my science are still flourishing [although rate of issue creation has slipped from ~once to twice a month ish] and I still get around 6 hours sleep (being a little more indulgent in my old age).

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So what is the secret? Pain, heartache and suffering? Well to some extent yes, they were the original source of my energy [I wanted a way to turn darkness into light]. This has changed in the last few years, as my heart heals, pain subsides and mind grows to its former strength what energy is left to sustain my fires? I believe this is where all of you come in to this story, friends, family and kind folk, new and old beautiful people surrounding me to inspire.

However most importantly, after working so intensely for several years you just get used to it, this level of work becomes the normality and only appears from the outside to be impossible. It is a self sustaining pace that requires little input to keep moving; that little input is the fun and enjoyment I get from making people smile and think.

Is this my kind of drug? I wonder if I am now addicted to this creativity; the fear of losing it, or the fear of what will be there if the writing stops?

Interesting that these thoughts occur over Christmas, friends and loved ones depart for family and festive fun, even science sleeps for a few weeks. And I am left to ponder, to relax [and recharge for 2013]. In this silence (apart from the time spent writing this issue) I remember a time when I used to fill my hours with TV, games and distractions. Nowadays they are a rare treat once or twice a month; so here I am at Christmas with writing to do and I take a whole day just to myself! I think the first of 2012...

Although, I know time speeds up from Christmas day and I jump back onto the New Splicer Super Highway with family and presents and food...

And then all this talk of stillness and non-creative time/rest will be lost in a blur of 2013.

So until old age slows me down! Merry Christmas...

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When cats ruled the world Cats become more human, more childlike to the point of human protection; we as humans become career to the gods. Until the point when no human psyche can resist the lure of the cat pout, we will literally stop functioning as humans.

----Breaking News---New Breed of Fox as Tame as a Pussycat

Ordinarily the silver fox is a canny, elusive creature, quick to bite when cornered, and well nigh impossible to tame.

This is hardly surprising, considering that foxes over the eons have been hunted for sport, trapped for fur, and generally maligned by human beings, especially those with hen houses.

But because of selective pressure imposed by experimenters over a 40year period, a new and once undreamed of breed of fox has evolved -- one that whines for attention from human beings without any prior conditioning, licks its masters’ faces, and has even begun to look something like a domestic dog.

It is as if by an act of will human beings had transformed an innately hostile creature into a friend.

In a long-term experiment at a Siberian fur farm, geneticists have created this new version of Vulpes vulpes, the silver fox, by allowing only the friendliest animals from each generation to breed. Having selected only the most ‘’tameable’’ of some 45,000 foxes over 35 generations, the scientists have compressed into a mere 40 years an evolutionary process that took thousands of years to transform ancestral wolves into domestic dogs.

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The original purpose of the breeding was to create a friendly breed less likely than wild animals to fight when put to death. But in time, geneticists saw that far-reaching changes they observed in the foxes’ physical and neurological makeup merited scientific study. The scientists apparently underwent some changes, too. Close bonds developed between the tame foxes and their human wardens, and the staff at the fur farm is trying to find ways of saving the animals from slaughter.

To keep environmental influences to a minimum, none of the foxes in the Siberian experiment received any training, and their contacts with human beings were limited to brief behavioural tests.

The director of the experiment is Dr. Lyudmila N. Trut of the Institute of Cytology and Genetics of the Siberian Department of the Russian Academy of Sciences at Novosibirsk. She reported in a paper that selective breeding to create genetically docile animals had resulted in a breed of ultra-tame foxes that make good house pets ‘’as devoted as dogs but as independent as cats, capable of forming deep-rooted pair bonds with human beings.’’

Selective breeding of farm animals to enhance commercially useful traits is as old as human history. But a striking consequence of the Russian program was that breeding foxes to strengthen a single behavioural trait, ‘’tameability,’’ brought about a wide variety of seemingly unrelated physical changes.

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A paper by Dr. Trut discussing these changes, translated from Russian, was published in the current issue of American Scientist, the magazine of Sigma Xi, a scientific research society. Dr. Trut wrote that by breeding the tamest animals from each of about 35 successive generations, the final offspring were not only tame from early puppyhood but also looked different from their wild forebears.

The normal pattern of coat colour that evolved in wild foxes as camouflage changed markedly in the genetically tamed fox population, with irregular piebald splotches of white fur appearing in some animals. The tame foxes sometimes developed floppy ears in place of the straight ones of wild foxes. The domesticated foxes generally had shorter legs and tails than ordinary foxes, and often had curly tails instead of straight, horizontal tails.

Please contact our New Splicer Agent here for your domesticated Fox: Contact: Irina F. Pliusnina Institute of Cytology and Genetics, 10 Lavrentyev ave., Novosibirsk, Russia ~New Splicer Inc~

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https://www.facebook.com/HellCatAlley About This site is for 18+. WARNING I SAY FUCK A LOT ....*****EXPLICIT MATERIAL****** If you don't want to see any profanity/nudity adult rated jokes or pictures, Please Feel Free to leave and and click the unlike button.

Description WARNING I SAY FUCK A LOT ....Were here to have fun , help us do that if you join in we,ll all have fun ... We also have a group so the more you interact with us and let us know your sense of humor the better we get to know you , you can join the group >:Dxx♥ your 4 admins are ~ Crz... Korz... BFL(biffle2crz) & Me, Shells.

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Enjoy and welcome muwah xxx ♥

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Hell Cat Alley We started Hell Cat Alley about 8 months ago as just a way for us and some of our close friends to have a laugh and hang out what we ended up with was a booming page 10k + fans .. We consider ourselves very lucky to have the success we have had thus far and would like to thank all of our fans for that. As for the admin’s of Hell Cat Alley we are 3 very different women with the same goal to be bat shit crazy. There is Jc our founder she is a sweet fun loving party animal from way across the pond. (England) Next we have Crz she is a riot.. Into gaming and your basic shenanigans. She is a New Englander and very seldom puts up with anyone’s shit I guess you could call her our enforcer …As for me my names Korz Yolo and all right ... let’s see what can I say about myself if you asked Crz she’d probably say I’m a redneck lol which is partially true I live in the south and find humour in everything .

This page is like our therapy some days ya just need good people and a laugh and that’s what we are here to provide.

We also have sister pages The Pussy Cat Lounge which is Jc’s baby it’s the sexy side of the Alley. There is also See You in Hell that is a combined effort from the Hell Cats and a few other admins from other pages on facebook it’s also humour based.

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Meow Meow How Catnip Works & Why Cats Like It Cats, from our domestic companions to lions and tigers, are exquisitely susceptible to a volatile oil found in the stems and leaves of the catnip plant.

When cats smell catnip they exhibit several behaviours common to queens in season (females in heat): They may rub their heads and body on the herb or jump, roll around, vocalize and salivate. This response lasts for about 10 minutes, after which the cat becomes temporarily immune to catnip’s effects for roughly 30 minutes. Response to catnip is hereditary; about 70 to 80 percent of cats exhibit this behaviour in the plant’s presence. In addition, catnip does not affect kittens until they are about six months old and begin to reach sexual maturity.

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Catnip plants (Nepeta cataria and other Nepeta species) are members of the mint family and contain volatile oils, sterols, acids and tannins. Native to Europe, Asia and Africa, the plant was brought to North America by settlers; nowadays, the plant is popular in herb gardens and grows widely as a weed. Catnip is considered to be nonaddictive and completely harmless to cats.

So, how does catnip work? Nepetalactone, one of catnip’s volatile oils, enters the cat’s nasal tissue, where it is believed to bind to protein receptors that stimulate sensory neurons. These cells, in turn, provoke a response in neurons in the olfactory bulb, which project to several brain regions including the amygdala (two neuronal clusters* in the midbrain that mediate emotional responses to stimuli) and the hypothalamus, the brain’s “master gland” that plays a role in regulating everything from hunger to emotions.

The amygdala integrates the information flow from the olfactory bulb cells and projects to areas governing behaviour responses. The hypothalamus regulates neuroendocrine responses through the pituitary gland, creating a “sexual response.” That is, the cat essentially reacts to an artificial cat pheromone.

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Human brains are physiologically different from cat brains and people do not react to catnip by getting “high.” Native Americans, however, once used catnip for the uncontrollable cries of infant colic. It also serves as a mild sedative in some herbal teas. In alternative medicine circles, catnip is commonly recommended by herbalists to lessen migraine headaches and to relieve cramps, gas, indigestion, insomnia, nervousness and anorexia, or as an herbal paste to reduce swelling associated with arthritis and soft tissue injury.

Now on to weed...

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Iron, like a lion in Zion.

Starting with random cats in my head and beautiful music in my ears here we create a story: ‘sex drugs and 9 lives. Cheesing took me on a trip, and I flew in neon lights with italic fingers. My cat is my 3rd eye and how to make drugs in science. Then I thought This is a fake story. And it is mine.

An eight year old boy, jamming to this song with no concept of the lyrics [humm i still don’t know, just googling now – ahhh well, Strong like a lion in Jerusalem – apparently he doesn’t have a gun so the chaps got to run.

Quite badass].

Not really important but that is what moved me as a kid, as it happens I once had to be as solid as iron in Sion but that’s another story. This is one of innocence and how I became a geneticist at the age of seven.

I began like most children with an unquenched thirst for all knowledge, asking too many questions and reading everything I could get my hands on.

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Here my love of nature began, first with all animals and everything living moved me. I didn’t really know why I liked the stories of how animals lived, but that was my first clue. Something about life; I recall asking my parents about what happens when we die around this time. The answer was sweet and satisfied me at the time [Something about returning to once again be stardust]. What I really wanted was to understand life and by default death, what controlled this? And when [with a little research] I read about genetics I realised that mankind was truly the master and commander of his own soul. The potential to control life, to understand life, led me here...

I am a little closer to the answers and have added the “hobby” of psychology and quantum mechanics into the mix. It’s not easy, but I guess I am placated with my current view. And seek more.

Science has taken me from studies in ageing to studies in the prevention of death [specifically neurodegeneration, but that’s another story]. I have been lucky and persistent in pursuit of that luck in science; and yes, I wield it like a sword and shield, but it serves me well. Digress...

How does music play a key role in this? It has the power, over me, to inspire and spin synapse. Imagine a world of planets dancing around a fiery sun and I have a centre view [Then the dam Spotify advert comes in – snap back to the solar system]. Blunderbuss – now the image and song dance and fire Mars off into the sunset... It certainly helps me write New Splicer, as I believe it helps me make those logical/illogical jumps in science that I call luck with a lot of effort.

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I have spoken previously of music as time travel, but it is more than that.

It is like a key, or oil that lubricates my mind [not unlike alcohol]. I sometimes think I should try writing on drugs, however currently I do not have the need; my imagination and thoughts coupled with beautiful music are trippy enough. However, I am a scientist and have the desire to open the doors of perception.

“If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern.”

William Blake’s ‘A Memorable Fancy’

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New Splicer Cat Labs For centuries, people in the West have marveled at the delicate beauty produced by Oriental artists and sculptors. From gardening to tattooing to dance and martial arts, these craftsmen have enthralled us with complex forms and simplistic perfection. One of the most fascinating of the visual techniques to emerge from this highly cultured region is the Oriental art of miniature sculpture. Who has not been stricken with the expressive grace of Japanese Bonsai? Though once the sole province of Bonsai masters within Japan, Bonsai plants have been available to fortunate consumers throughout the world for some time. With this in mind, we are proud to now offer to you the animal complement of this art form; the Bonsai Kitten.

Method At only a few weeks of age, a kitten's bones have not yet hardened and become osseous. They are extremely soft and springy. In fact, if you take a week-old kitten and throw it to the floor, it will actually bounce! We do not recommend that you try this at home. The kitten may bounce under the furniture and be difficult to retrieve, as well as covered in unsightly household dust. However, the flexibility of the kitten's skeleton means that if the bones are gently warped at this early age, they can be molded into any desired shape. At Bonsai Kitten, we achieve this by placing the kitten into a rigid vessel soon after birth, and allowing the young cat to grow out its formative time entirely within this container.

The kitten essentially grows into the shape of the vessel! Once the cat is fully developed, it is removed (or the vessel broken to remove it!), producing the lovable, furry pet you've always wanted, but it remains in the shape you've always dreamed of! There is virtually no limit to the eventual shape of your pet.

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An impossible story of feline devotion OR The selfless cat Molly was a black and white cat but apart from that, like most other feline, she ate, she slept and took affection when she felt like it. She often pondered the minds of her many owners in the past, for she was a drifter; taking affection from all until she was done. Some knew, some felt cheated and some wondered through the world oblivious like the darkness in all cats eyes.

As a kitten she once had a home, a loving family to call her own but kitty often only longed to roam. Looked in their eyes with a purr, taking all affection; it was just like her. Not overtly evil, playing with mice and clawing at tables, she knew all too well her heart lied in many different fables.

This was the first of many, the story of a home and an emptiness grown.

All possessions and comforts summer could afford, why she would leave endless room and board. And she did as the tail moves on, from side to side, she was gone.

In a house of glaring love was rare, for an empty soul and cat laid bare.

Crazy cat lady whispered to them all, fuzzy air and cackling call. Attention came from cat and human alike, bored with the same motive after a few months she left her kids there, adding to the numbers the litter under the stair. Only tomcat hearts meowed, she had certainly wowed; the love scratched and itch of which she was completely fixed.

The next in the streets, a young orphan dirty and bold did pluck the cat with his dirty hold. Sharing the crumbs of the day; feeding a cat who should not want away. The independence was attractive and caused conflict, here was a place she could stay; long in the arms of shared isolation. He was gone the next day. Cold to touch, stiff to the bone the cat was once again alone.

It hard when a wandering mind is without another, although never looking always searching for the lover. The quest of a thousand souls, unintentionally falling in and out of woes. Or is this true, perhaps it is time to examine this point of view. The age of reflection upon the cause and creation of rejection. Old enough to want more but not yet wise enough to figure the resolving score. Time for one more heartache.

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The selection was better, she knew what she needed down to the letter.

It all fit and should have worked, the love and care, piece by piece surrounded her there. In a place of friends who could be lonely, without fear of rejection. Yet that buzz of fire and burning ember of desire was not there, like the laser light to a cat without sight. Tears shed on both sides, this was the truth without no lies. To remain friends was her dream, but this would be cake and cream. She had to let go it was the only way for the friend to grow. Never wanting to linger like a cats claw to a finger, out the door beyond the garden leaving memory to fade once more.

Does this story have an end, happy or sad perhaps on the mend? I wish I could tell, for the story of Molly, the cat without collar bell; has only just begun unlike the setting sun. She should have hope, with these small lessons seemingly learned in how to cope. A tale left to be said, of a future of temporary smiles.

We shall see, as perhaps one day she will come for me.

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Therefore, in the end we all lose sight...

The next issue is a little cheeky but I could not refuse malevolent calling. This will be New Splicer’s most sexy, seductive and naughty piece of art yet. Eyes will pop and frustration will build. All and nothing will be revealed.

Oh and yes, the issue will be entirely in Braille...

Till then whenever then may be, we here at New Splicer hope you had a delightful Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

See you in 2013... ~New Splicer~

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~NEW

January 2013

SPLICER~ Volume 3.8

BRAILLE

In this issue Topic of the month: Braille - Ribbed for your pleasure...

The Bra in Braille the sense of touch Blind Luck The Art of the invisible...

Conecting the dots... and much more!

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