MentHer Magazine October 2021 - Mental Health Month Edition by MentHerMagazine

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MENTAL HEALTH

OCTOBER 2021

#03

THRIVE OVERCOME MENTAL HEALTH COVER: ‘THE THIRD EYE’ BY BUHLE NKALASHE

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Publisher’s

LETTER

Thrive: Overcoming Mental Health

he 10th of September is observed as World Suicide Prevention Day and the month of October is National Depression Publisher and Mental Health Awareness Month, with MentHer the 10th of October marking World Mental Health Day. Studies published by the Founding Editor World Health Organisation (WHO) indicate Ntsiki Mkhize that 77% of suicides globally occur in lowProduction and middle-income countries. Although M e D 8 M e d i a ( P T Y ) LT D the suicide rate is higher in developing nations, it’s also one of the top 4 leading Cover causes of death in developed nations. ‘ The Third Eye’ by B uhle Additionally, WHO notes that 1 in 4 people Nkalashe struggle with mental health and of those, an estimated 75% of people in developing About the Cover nations don’t receive a diagnosis or Mixed mediums (Oil & treatment. Acrylic paint and Oil There’s also further research on how pastels) on c anvas . the global pandemic has exacerbated Description these conditions and more specifically, In this painting the f e e l i n g I w a n t e d t o b r i n g how women’s jobs have been in those across, is that today industries most adversely affected by someone or people are the pandemic and thus placing more always watching. women under stress. Traditionally when people would speak about mental health, Contributors the social connotations around it were Alice Dlamini to the extremes of being admitted to a Dr Mpilo Sithole psychiatric facility or taking one’s own life. Gugulethu Mfuphi However in recent years, the discussion Kelebogile Molopyane around mental health has expanded to Kholeka Mkhize highlight daily experiences of anxiety L e To n y a M o o r e and depression. There’s been increased Lianne Lutz awareness, reducing stigma and Mona Willis Nonhlanhla Mazibuko encouraging people to speak out and seek Shanel Evans assistance. We asked our readers to share Viana Maya their experience with mental health p19 Vimbai Schwalm and I hope reading their words help you Wendy Chalmers-Mill realise you’re not alone. Being an entrepreneur is challenging enough, add in a global pandemic, economic recession, changed buying decisions or reduced purchasing power of customers and the mountain to climb #01

becomes that much higher. Increased isolation and the daily stress and anxiety of running a business can present its own mix of mental health struggles, from doubting your own abilities to drowning in debt or feeling overwhelmed balancing work and life demands. This issue is dedicated to encouraging us to Thrive as we continue to overcome mental health. To not solider on regardless, but rather that we thrive by taking stock of where we are, making the decision to get assistance and moving forward with a spirit of self-care, clear boundaries and taking a break before we burn-out. Each column is dedicated to achieving simplicity; be it taking the stress out of your finances p24, legal matters p32 or getting dressed in your favourite style p40 to tips on maintaining wellness in how you eat p43 and in your personal resilience p46. This issue is filled with redeemable coupons for support in fitness and personal care, so click through and invest in you. MentHer aims to inspire, connect and empower and I’m excited to present our Social Impact Founders Club p5 and Social Impact Founders List p8 In the words of author Linda Poindexter; “One small crack does not mean that you are broken, it means that you were put to the test and you didn’t fall apart.” Here’s to us not falling apart together. May you find new strength and the support you need and thrive on your journey. Your experience with mental health may be a chapter or a foot note, but there are greater parts to the book of your life that you are yet to experience. Purposefully Yours

N t s i k i M k h iz e Founding Editor

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TA B L E O F

Contents

MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS DECEMBER EDITION

OCTOBER MENTAL HEALTH EDITION

WELCOME TO MENTHER

8 9

SOCIAL IMPACT FOUNDERS LIST 2021 PERSONAL GROWTH Reflection by Nonhlanhla Mazibuko

11 RELATIONSHIPS Honouring My Relationship with Self by Vimbai Schwalm 13 SUSTAINABILITY Minding the Mind by Dr Mpilo Sithole 16 LEADERSHIP Mental Health and leadership Alice Dlamini 22

GSA AFRICA AWARDS

24 WEALTH How to overcome financial fatigue by Women’s Wealth Top Social Impact Founders List 2021 nominate yourself or a phenomenal womxn today

26 BUSINESS Don’t leave us behind. by Gugulethu Mfuphi 29 CAREER Is job application fatigue a thing? by Viana Maya

34 MARKETING Client Attraction by Shanel Evans 36

BOOK CLUB Unbroken by Madeleine Black

38 TECHNOLOGY Overcoming Mental Health by Kelebogile Molopyane 36 STYLING I Love oversized & Black by Mona Willis 43 WELLNESS Eat to distress your mind by Kholeka Mkhize 46 RESILIENCE Understanding Resilience and how to become more balanced by Wendy Chalmers-Mill 49

SOCIAL CHATS Instagram Lunchtime Meet-up

50 RESOURCES A-Z of Social Entrepreneurship 51 CONTRIBUTORS Thank you to our contributors

32 LEGAL Protecting trademarks by LeTonya Moore

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MENTHER ANNOUNCEMENT

Top Social Impact Founders List 2021 Calling all female founders running a business that has a social impact!

Be it for children, the community, a specific people group, animals or the environment – any of the sustainable development goals, we want to hear about the incredible work you do. Whether your business is registered as a non-profit; NPC, NGO, NPO, PBO or Co-operative or as a forprofit; Pty, Ltd., Ltd, Closed Cooperation or Partnership or even if you operate in a hybrid structure. We want to celebrate your on our inaugural TOP SOCIAL IMPACT FOUNDERS LIST for 2021. We here at MentHer Magazine are celebrating

our first full year of publishing our newly established digital magazine. What better way to mark this achievement than to acknowledge the impact that social entrepreneurs have made in society during these trying times. You, the reader and those who aspire to feature in the magazine have an opportunity to participate in the listing of your favourite impact founders of 2021 and their organisations Criteria • Female Founders • Social Impact focused organisation

• Formally registered • Running longer than 6 months. To participate; you can nominate yourself and or an extraordinary female founder by visiting: www.menther.co.za/ nominations Entries close 1 November 2021 – keep an eye out for social media voting throughout November 2021 Follow our social media @menther_int on Instagram and Facebook for links you can share directly. Inspire | Connect | Empower

MENTHER PERSONAL GROWTH

REFLECTION As you enjoy this new season, take a few minutes to observe nature around you. Nonhlanhla Mazibuko

eginnings are a lovely time to reflect on where you are and how far you have come. The beginning of spring is upon us, the mood is looking up, the sun is out more often, trees are blossoming, there’s a general shift in the mood all around. One thought that often comes to me during this time, is how timely nature is in renewing itself. Every year the cycle remains the same, the same process every year prepared for the betterment of the very earth. Many would agree that spring; the season of new life is their favourite. As the smell of fresh flowers fills the air, the warmer nights come in, the shedding of winter clothing - everything about

spring shouts dainty walking about, a new bounce in your step. Yet, who notices that the dead leaves are gone from where they used to lie? Who takes a second to ponder on the tree that once seemed dead but is suddenly budding beautiful blossoms? Who takes a moment to reflect on the healthy transition that came from the dreadful winter? Winter receives a bad reputation with some as it can be considered somewhat dull. It is the one season associated with death. The chirpiest sounds of morning birds

are suddenly replaced by chilly frost and icy winds. Nothing about winter seems appealing and many might subconsciously claim it is unnecessary. Yet, without winter there cannot be spring. I often reflect on the pandemic as a winter, a dreadful season that everyone tries to wish away. For many of us, it took loved ones, one after the other. It took away our freedom, introducing us to a life we are not accustomed to. Leaving us isolated from family, our fellow countrymen and the rest of the world. Personally, I think the worst thing about this winter is the effect it has had on my mental health. It seems like we’re experiencing one trauma after the other. Just Inspire | Connect | Empower

as we began to grieve the death of freedom as we knew it, academics and work changed drastically needing us to adjust to this new normal. Then suddenly, people were passing, losing family members so often it almost became a norm. But there is nothing normal about death. Grieving became something we had to do while catching up with the rest of the world, because unfortunately, the world waits for no one, not even a pandemic. Mental health, though a trendy topic, is not always a priority when dealing with such trauma. With the rise of the vaccine a new dawn is upon us, maybe not quite spring yet, but definitely the dusty winds of August helping us fan some of the unpleasant memories away. In the midst of seasonal changes, adjusting to the pollenated air and trying to keep some allergies at bay, I am reminding myself to pause. To stop, take stock of my mental health; be thankful for how far I have come, be truthful to myself. Sometimes in the rush, we may deceive ourselves into believing that we’re fine because everybody else seems to be doing fine. Taking a moment to reflect on the true state of my mental health and to be okay

with the idea of not being one hundred present fine. I often find myself listening to Christian lofi music which creates a safe space for me to mentally process some thoughts and traumas. I am a sucker for silent peaceful music which allows my thoughts to come to the

while also creating safe boundaries to keep myself from falling into a dark hole of negativity.

surface. As I listen to myself, I am mindful to interrogate certain thoughts, get to the root of negative emotions, and take captive of them as they form. I remind myself of who I really am and write it down in a notebook for when I forget in future.

normal too. A normal that transcends this winter we find ourselves in. As you enjoy this new season, take a few minutes to observe nature around you. Allow nature to heal you as you journey through this phase, no matter what it may be for you. Here’s a link to my favourite lofi playlist:

ON difficult days when I cannot find anything positive to say to myself, I pull out my notebook with all my affirmations and allow the positive to outweigh the negative. This creates a safe space for my thoughts to flow freely,

The sun is not too far out, things will soon settle into a norm again. And when they do get normal, I want to know that I will be

https://youtu.be/NKdJ-xVp_g May it bless you as it has blessed me

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MENTHER RELATIONSHIPS

Honouring My Relationship with Self

healthy, loving, and positive relationship with the self is the most profound gift one can harness, appreciate and enjoy. From the moment each of us are born onto the earth, we are in relation to and with many things. We are born into a cluster of relationships. Our role and position in this cluster determine how we relate to and engage with many people, things, places, situations and ourselves throughout our lives. We start off in our initial stages of life with a great deal of focus on our relationships with the external world and all the people who are in our lives. As we grow, we learn languages, beliefs, values, norms, rituals, behavioural patterns and assimilate the behaviours of those around us who we

relate to. Our personalities form and we start to have experiences that are forever imprints of how we relate to the world and life. A large part of our survival on this planet

is our ability to have a sense of belonging. Consequently, it is only natural that our first instincts are to want to focus on connections and relationships outside of ourselves so that we have a sense of being part of something. Through the experience of the cycles of life, we realise as we get older, as we experience life that; the relationship with self, self-growth and selfdevelopment are crucial pillars to enjoying life on earth a lot more. A healthy relationship with self, enhances the sense of belonging that each of us yearn for. It brings us to a space of experiencing love, purpose, joy, creativity, forgiveness, grace and peace. Taking time to develop self, nurture self and embrace self, enriches our relation to the environments, people, things,

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places and situations we find ourselves in. We learn to be the change we want to see in the world. As self, we show up and happen to life instead of life showing up and happening to us. When we reflect and think back to the first 9 months of our existence, we acknowledge that each of us were in pure formation in this season of our lives. Each of us has a profoundly unique and magnificent functional body that we find ourselves in because of these first 9 months of our existence. In essence, the relationship with self is all about harnessing and remembering that deep sense of selfappreciation, love, acceptance and grace of being, the magnificent you that you were to be. When life is happening to us, especially in these times we are living in, we have an opportunity to pause and adjust our focus on harnessing our deep sense of self love through nurturing our relationship with ourselves so that we happen to life. The relationship with self is one I absolutely respect and honour and intentionally nourish and nurture. I drew up tips that are easy to remember and with lots of practice you can grow your relationship with self. You will witness your other relationships shifting because you genuinely nurture and love yourself.

1 List 10 positive things that

you like about yourself

On a monthly basis write a list of “TEN Things I LIKE About Myself”. You can do this on paper, your computer, phone or tablet. Read these out loud as affirmations to yourself. Acknowledge how you feel when you hear them. Lean into accepting these ten things you like about yourself by reading them out to yourself daily. Practice this and witness the shift as you grow in self appreciation. At the end of the year, you will have a list of “120 Things I Like About Myself”!

2 Start to appreciate the

present moment that you are in. We are often living in the past and running on emotions of guilt, shame, frustration, anger, regret and so on. Other times we are in the future and are running on emotions of worry, anxiety, fear, doubt, etc. We forget to pause and be in the now. You have the deep knowledge of what makes you safe to be in the now. So, pause, take 5 deep breaths in and out of the nostrils and connect with your thoughts, emotions and body. Become aware of yourself and be present in the moment, here and now.

3 Eat nourishing food

High nutritious food is important for helping us to show up in life healthy and strong. The nutrients feed our cells and enhance our vital energy and sense of feeling well and healthy in our bodies. Be gentle and kind with your body, and ever mindful of what you nourish it with.

4 Movement of your body

Devote time to yourself daily. Dance, stretch, flow, hike, walk, run, exercise, swim, shake, move, be active and use your body, get into it and express yourself in it, in the best way that feels most comfortable to you.

5 Intentionally listen actively

Be intentional in what you listen to. Actively listen to music, documentaries, movies, podcasts, audio books, radio stations and audio platforms that make you feel positive and empower you and enrich you. Be mindful of what you listen to and the underlying message that it carries, as this influences our thoughts, beliefs, values and behaviour.

6 Spend time in and with

nature. Express gratitude for nature, walk barefoot, feel the warmth of the sun or a fire on your skin, feel the different temperatures of water, step outdoors, engage with animals and become aware of all living things, allowing you to connect with self. In stepping into the magnificent human beings we were born to be, growing our relationship with ourselves is imperative. After all, how you treat yourself is how you relate to the world and how it relates to you. Honouring self and the relationship with self is the greatest act of service that you can give to humanity.

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MENTHER SUSTAINABILITY

MINDING THE MIND We must keep talking, sharing, asking, listening, calling out and advocating

he conversation about Mental Health is one that has progressively occupied more and more airtime over the last three to five years. Recent months have seen prominent figures such as Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles withdrawing from major sporting competitions and speaking out about their struggles with mental health. Such acts of bravado register a win in the campaign to raise awareness about mental health on a global scale. The conversation about psychiatric disorders (mental health disorders) and mental health is indeed one that can no longer afford to be side-lined. So then, what is mental health? The World Health Organization (WHO) describes mental health as, “a state of well-being in which an individual realises his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and is able to

make a contribution to his or her community”. Along with physical and social health, mental wellbeing is an important component of the overall health of an individual. Psychiatric conditions are categorised under a wide array of classifications such as mood, anxiety, psychotic, personality and eating disorders- to name a few. Many of us are more familiar with the mood and anxiety disorders, typically Depression, Bipolar and Panic

Disorders. This is probably because this group of disorders occur more commonly in society. The WHO estimates that at least 264 million people globally and of all ages suffer from depression and that these groups of mental illnesses collectively consume about one trillion US$ of the global economy annually. It is not clear at this stage what specifically causes most metal illnesses however several risk factors have been identified. Risk factors include a family history of mental illness, use of alcohol and/or drugs, a chronic pattern of sleep deprivation, sustained malnutrition, stressful or traumatic life experiences and various types of abuse. I must highlight that these are only risk factors, therefore it is not necessarily guaranteed that the presence of any of these factors will lead to the development of mental illness in the future. Symptoms that are typically associated with depression are a

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feeling of sadness, crying more often, sleeping significantly more or fewer hours, losing interest in activities usually enjoyed, feeling of worthlessness and lack of energy for at least TWO WEEKS. Symptoms of Anxiety include sleep disturbances, constant headaches, irritable bowel symptoms, feeling of shortness of breath and chest pain. Should you notice any of the above symptoms it is important to consult your general practitioner or seek help at your local clinic.

Just as we employ measures to avoid developing non-metal health diseases there are practices that we can exercise to protect against developing mental health illness viz:

a) Eating healthily b) Physical activity

A personal favourite! Running in the open air became a sweet escape from many of life’s stressors for me in the final years of medical school. I find that the mind reaps great benefit from disconnecting from electronics and just hearing, seeing and feeling the natural elements. Physical activity releases endorphins and tackles the tension that knots up in our shoulders, neck and head. c) having confidante(s) A resonating quote when I think of confidantes is that “no man is an island”, we’re social beings. In times of intense stress, the mind can become a very vicious and a tricky maze. Having a trusted person to walk with you

in such times is invaluable. One advantage, inter alia, is that they can often help you identify an error in the way you’ve been approaching a situation and help you abolish a potentially unhealthy pattern of thinking even if they’re not a professional psychologist. d) Routine debriefs e) Identifying and leaving toxic/ unhealthy relationships and/or environments f) Prayer/quite-time/meditation g) Time-out: partying, chilling with friends, new experiences Mental health disorders need to be appreciated as organic diseases; a condition whereby somewhere, somehow something has gone biologically wrong! This can be something chemically or structurally

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wrong in the brain which can, in most cases, be remedied or palliated by a meticulous collaboration of pharmacological and non-pharmacological therapies. Pause, and think about it. Nobody ever says, “focus on the positive” or “just go out” to a person presenting with an appendicitis or a broken bone. It is therefore important that we continue to pushback against the stigma and misinformation that surrounds mental health disorders. We must keep talking, sharing, asking, listening, calling out and advocating.

The fact that we have an entire month, October, dedicated to raising awareness about mental health delights me and inspires the hope that we shall indeed champion the gross (and unnecessary) negativity associated with psychiatric disorders.

“MENTAL HEALTH

“

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MENTHER LEADERSHIP

Mental Health and leadership Our minds need to be refreshed and our cups to be filled

ne of my favourite animals is an elephant. It doesn’t matter how often I see them, I still find them to be majestic creatures that silently command respect. Not because of their size, although I have to say that they are massively intimidating. Their character, in my opinion, often seems at times far superior than that of us human beings. The matriarch plays a critical role in influencing the livelihood of the herd.

She exudes tremendous wisdom and inner strength to guide and influence the herd to better pasture, especially

for water during the dry, hot season. The matriarch has lived long enough and has had immense experience to understand that her social impact may either make or break the strength of the herd. She needs to have spatial awareness of her herd to be sensitive enough for the emotional connectedness with regards to behavioral character of each animal. For the herd to thrive and be in place of absolute wholesome mental strength, the matriarch must be strong and humble to understand each individual Inspire | Connect | Empower

MENTHER COVER FEATURE elephant and how they behave. The past couple of months have tested our parentalleadership abilities in our household for my husband and I. Covid has impacted many families and has caused confusion – as others might say, disorientation. Many parents, guardians, adults, and children alike have suffered mental health breakdown. Leadership is a fundamental feature of family governance and social governance. We should look at the health of the family from mental, physical, and emotional perspective and the impact the deficiencies may have for an individual and a society. This determines how the family or society progresses and there ought to be no disconnection because there will be regression in how we live and relate to one another. We are to maintain a safe and responsible environment for our children and ourselves to flourish. This starts with us as parents. Our minds need to be refreshed and our cups to be filled. I believe that if the “One” who created heaven and earth took time off from His creation to rest, how much more us? We are far from perfect and as leaders we ought to recognise that for us to give our best we need to take care of

ourselves. Taking care of myself comes in the form of crossfit, a healthy diet and being outside with nature. It allows me to focus and “regroup” with myself, so that I am able to focus on the days’ tasks and plan ahead for only what is in my control. I’m then able to give of myself to my husband and out three children and those around me. The closer we are to the governing guidelines of

God, the more we will be refreshed and nourished to be able to care for our children in a sound and mentally healthy manner. If you look in the Bible, King Saul was no different to us. He worked tirelessly to lead his people and lead his army into battle. The stress and demands of the job led him to suffer tremendous depression. Such is the case when we as people experience total burnout and work-life related stress which may lead to depression. According to Karasek’s job stress model, a combination of high demands and low control at work will lead to psychological stress, which can eventually lead to chronic disease, including psychopathology. Several

elements in the story of King Saul are illustrative of the effects of job related stress. Those who are called to lead are to understand that in this life, on this side of heaven you will always face challenges. There are some things you can control and there are some things you cannot control. The question is, what do you chose to focus on? How do you successfully lead people to reach their potential and do their best when life in and of itself is demanding? Start the day off with what is important. Fill your cup, feed your inner Spirit man so that you have enough strength to face the demands of the day. When you neglect yourself, you risk burn-out and being disengaged with those around you. Paul’s letter to the Philippians contains a good example: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ”I leave you with this quote that I wrote for myself: “You ought to use your gift to serve others. If you use your gift to break a Camels back, then it is murder most foul”.

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JUNE 2021 YOUTH MONTH EDITION

OCTOBER 2021 MENTAL HEALTH EDITION

Advertise in our next issue REACH A NETWORK OF LIKE MINDED SOCIAL ENTREPRENEURS AND GROW YOUR BUSINESS sales@menther.co.za

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www.menther.co.za/magazine

MARCH 2021 LAUNCH EDITION

MENTHER READERS

My experience with MENTAL HEALTH

ental Health is a struggle more and more people are confronting and talking about. Part of what makes the experience so difficult is that it’s something not visible to others, unlike a broken leg or having a cast on your arm; people may not know what or understand what you’re dealing with. According to the World Health Organisation, 1 in 13 people globally suffer from anxiety and almost 75% of people in developing nations go untreated. There are several mental health conditions people world over experience on a daily basis, including:

• Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) • Panic Disorder (PD) • Social Anxiety Disorder • Specific Phobias • Stress • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder These can occur in conjunction with anxiety and range from mild to severe. Part of removing the stigma is creating a safe space to discuss people’s experiences with mental health, to make sure that everyone knows

• Major Depressive Disorder • Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD) • Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) • Sleep Disorders

that it’s okay to have these experiences and that they’re not alone and to ultimately seek help. We asked some of our readers what their experience with mental health has been. Here are

some of the responses we got. Hopefully as you read this you’ll see some of the thoughts you’ve had and develop a greater sensitivity and understanding to those around you.

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MENTHER READERS

Supportive Sister, 27

My experience has been limited in dealing with mental health. I have a sister who was diagnosed with depression and dealt with it for about 3 years, until she was cleared to stop taking the anti-depressants. Praise God. Throughout that time I can say none of us in the family really understood what she was going through. Only now that mental health is widely spoken of am I learning to take better care of myself as well.

Still Sane, 25

Change Manager, 22 I think I noticed a change when I changed schools. That’s basically where my mental health took a turn for the worst. I used to be confident, took part in almost all school activities, I was an outspoken child and one day it all ended. I self-diagnosed myself with anxiety, but it was after I had done research and had a conversation with a friend who made me realiSe that I had anxiety. There has been numerous times where I would rather starve than go alone to a restaurant and buy a burger, or I’d settle for things I don’t want because I was too scared to just say “hey, I don’t like this.” It’s just such a dark place to be in, and although you want the help, you’re scared of just facing it head on, so I basically got used to it to a point where it’s just became normal.

Fit Queen, 30 To double check with myself that I’m not crazy. Sometimes you can feel like you’re losing it a bit and it’s good to check that you’re not.

Working Through, 37 When I first encountered depression, I had no idea what it was, and no idea that it even existed. I was going through a very tough spell at work, balancing that against professional exams which I needed to pass, and life just seemed to be grey all the time, with very little to look forward to. I self-diagnosed and even that was by accident, as not realising that depression existed meant it was near impossible for me to realise that a diagnosis was necessary. I didn’t seek out professional assistance, but I did draw closer to God and pulled on my religion to get through. With the passage of time and a change of job, I managed to pull myself out of that quagmire, but definitely came away thinking that there are so many people out there who would benefit from better care and assistance with diagnosis and

help.

My personal experience is that mental health is exactly like physical health. There is no “finish line” or “break time”. You have to put effort and care into it every day. That’s how you maintain health.

Living Free, 30 I am a young lady living with bipolar disorder. In 2012 I had my first mania episode. At the time I was 21 at university studying marketing, while I was going through depression. It was a tough time, I was uncomfortable, it was just unexplainable. It was so difficult to wake up and go to classes; I had no appetite or any interest in doing anything. Early this year, in May I got admitted into hospital because I was suffering from back pain on a daily, no painkiller or injection could rescue me until I went to my GP countless times. He referred me to see a psychologist, she then immediately admitted me into a psychiatric hospital because of the signs I presented to her. At first I was told that I had Inspire | Connect | Empower

MENTHER READERS presented as someone with PTSD, but as the days went along my psychiatrist diagnosed me with Bipolar. It didn’t come as a shock to me, because I always knew something was different about me. When I had feelings of depression and loneliness I always wondered why I felt this way. I had feelings of uselessness and unworthiness. Sometimes I didn’t see the need of me living. I stayed in hospital for 17 days, in those 17 days I wasn’t allowed to see my son, I even missed his second birthday. Agreeing to get admitted has been a great decision because I can now manage my disorder. While I was there I got the best advice. I was told that bipolar disorder is a common disorder, so if you or a loved one are living with a mental illness, take comfort that you’re not alone. Bipolar disorder can affect people from all walks of life and it is manageable. I now have a positive outlook on life, feelings of positivity and feel refreshed. There’s more to life to those who are living with bipolar or any mental health issues with proper treatment and support.

I started therapy last year, which was super helpful in processing a lot of my feelings and getting to a place where I choose to live, because I see myself as an overcomer and someone with great strength that I do as a victim carrying a heavy burden. I have a good life and I can do so much to influence the rest of it, for me it’s all about taking back my power in small an big ways and deciding within myself that I AM WORTHY, regardless of how others treat me.

You don’t have to traverse the mental health journey alone. Here are some free resources you can tap into. Click on the resources below:

Overcomer, 30 My experience with mental health started as a child. My earliest memory was being molested at 4 years old and several more times in my childhood. I just remember feeling so unworthy and insecure and wishing I could die. The assault stopped, but the feelings of unworthiness stayed with me into my teen years and even as a young adult – always feeling insecure and alone. In that time, and now, thoughts of killing myself come in slow and sometimes heavy bursts as a solution to escape the emotional pain I sometimes feel.

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MENTHER PARTNERSHIP

The Global Startup Awards Africa: Finding, Funding and Connecting Female Futureshapers from Africa

frica is a global leader when it comes to female entrepreneurship and has the highest percentage of women entrepreneurs in the world. It has been found that women make up 58% of the self-employed population in Africa. However, a study by the World Bank reported that women continue to earn on average 34% less profits than men. There is an estimated $42 billion financing gap for African women across business value chains. Female-led startups are underfunded and over mentored. Why is it a problem? It is estimated that $316bn GDP could be gained by 2025 if the gender funding gap in Africa is bridged. Femaleled start-ups receive a disproportionate percentage of the flow of global venture capital. 2019 saw 11% of seed-funding capital in emerging markets deployed to female founded companies, as well as only 5% of all later-stage funding. Men

entrepreneurs are more likely to secure funding post-acceleration. Two of the greatest threats to the sustainability of businesses include a lack of funding and lower levels of business capital. Most entrepreneurs in Africa are unable to grow their businesses beyond small-scale subsistence operations. Due to genderspecific barriers and societal limitations, it has been even more challenging for women entrepreneurs. According to a 2020 study by Briter Bridges, startups in Africa were predominately founded by men, with men occupying approximately 85% of c-level positions in Africa, and women only occupying 15%. To address the problem in the most practical sense, the Global Startup Awards (GSA) Africa is firstly, identifying 1000+ femaleled startups from across Africa and giving them increased visibility via the Women in Tech category. Secondly, creating high Inspire | Connect | Empower

MENTHER PARTNERSHIP level policy and engagement platforms with largest funders to fast-track learning, provide aggregated, accelerated knowledge transfer, skills development and market opportunities via online engagement and personalised support to securing funding. Furthermore, the Global Innovation Initiative Group (GIIG), exclusive rights holder of GSA Africa, has announced the launch of a unique profit and purpose fund aimed at investing in early-stage tech innovation startups across Africa. The GIIG Africa Fund, a Curaçao-based private investment fund, will invest annually in the GSA Africa winners’ pool. Multi-stage capital will be combined with growth support, access to high value networks, and fast-tracked market penetration to optimise outcomes for both startups and investors. Access to information, funding, diverse social networks, and connections are pivotal factors in supporting and growing businesses. Without the necessary support in entrepreneurial frameworks, female entrepreneurs cannot increase the competitiveness, scalability and sustainability of their businesses. Despite the challenges women face in growing their businesses, the African continent is experiencing an unprecedented change in its tech landscape. This changing landscape, coupled with a growing population and the need for ‘African solutions to African problems’, creates a field saturated with opportunities for women. Since women make up half of the African population, unlocking female potential is key to stimulating innovation and helping African

economies grow. World Bank experts claim that female economic potential could massively contribute to Africa’s growth. Recognizing the significant potential for innovation and growth in Africa, the Global Startup Awards (GSA) has been launched across all 55 countries in Africa with a mission to find, recognise and connect the future-shapers of the digital age. Africa’s innovation community now has increased access to new markets, funding and a global network of investors and innovation ecosystems. The categories are created to address the most pressing issues faced in Africa. The Women in Tech category celebrates pioneering tech startups founded and owned by a woman/women. Africa is well documented to become the tech continent of the future; the next leaders will be global leaders. This includes female pioneers – from Africa. The realisation that women-led businesses are as profitable (if not more) than those led by men, coupled with the fact that they are also likely to lead businesses that make a positive social impact, will ensure that the outcome of GSA Africa is effective, impactful, scalable and sustainable. MORE INFORMATION To find out more about GSA Africa and how to enter, visit our website: www.globalstartupawards.com/africanstartupawards Contact: info@africanstartupawards.com For more information on how to get involved.

www.globalstartupawards.com

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MENTHER WEALTH

HOW TO OVERCOME FINANCIAL FATIGUE Do you have a good relationship with money? LIANNE LUTZ

he words “Financial Fatigue” can be frightening to hear, often whispered or brushed under the carpet until it’s too late! However, when facing an extreme financial crisis, the best way of dealing with this is to discuss it with your family members so that they understand and can support

you emotionally. A problem shared is a problem halved.

What is financial fatigue? Financial fatigue occurs when your monthly debt exceeds the amount of money available to pay for the debt. It can become overwhelming causing, anxiety, stress, and sleepless nights.

Financial fatigue is painful emotionally, mentally, and financially. Financial fatigue has an ugly cousin – Covid fatigue. Covid fatigue is also known as pandemic fatigue and it results from the endless changing of levels and the variants of the virus. Aside from the physical symptoms, people are feeling

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demotivated and depressed. The fear of the unknown combined with an unknown duration causes uncertainty. The financial effects of Covid may include a possible loss of a job or a business that is no longer profitable. When experiencing financial fatigue it’s a good time to have an honest look at your relationship with money. Do you have a good relationship with money? Are you in charge of how you spend money or does money control you? Although many people are experiencing financial fatigue, those who are in control of money will have a nest egg and money saved for a rainy day. Some may even have investments. Remember shoes and shiny bling are not investments - they are your credit card holding you to ransom!

How to overcome financial fatigue? Be proactive, instead of feeling overwhelmed get organised. Adjust your budget or start budgeting to fit your current reality. Budgeting can be a safety net but, it requires selfdiscipline. Stick to the budget and the results will be rewarding!

and thoughts become irrational. Instead of giving way to anxiety, take a step back, listen to music, and/or do some deep breathing. Doing this will lower your heart rate, decrease your blood pressure, lower your stress hormones resulting in you being able to think more clearly.

Five steps to overcome the practicalities of financial fatigue

1 Consider debt

consolidation.

2. Avoid using credit cards

and store cards until your financial situation improves.

Go through bank statements to see which expenses you can decrease or remove.

4 Differentiate between wants

and needs.

Set realistic goals for saving and investing. Looking into the future, one of the financial lessons and insights may be to analyse your money personality:

Five money personalities:

1 The investor – this is the

absolute best! Develop a positive attitude towards money. Be aware that late-night worrying makes financial problems seem bigger

3 The shopper – as long as it’s

on a debit card, not a credit card.

4 The big spender - as long as it’s on a debit card, not a credit card. Getting into the irresponsible zone!

5 The debtor – big trouble on

the horizon. Unpaid debt attracts interest and can cause a lack of financial control. The danger zone! Understanding your money personality and changing your financial behaviour and spending tendencies can make a huge difference to your future. With the correct mindset, discipline and good money habits, your future will be set and you shouldn’t need to experience financial fatigue again. A stable financial attitude with investment and saving plans will lead to security for years to come. Your actions now can literally change your life. Learn how to manage your personal finances and prevent new debts from accruing to become financially stable. Get a financial advisor to assist with building a solid financial plan and advice on how to invest your money in the best possible way. Contact If you would like a FREE budget template, please email lianne@womenswealth.co.za and we will send you one.

The saver – this is a wise place to be.

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MENTHER BUSINESS

DON’T LEAVE US BEHIND While several plans have been instituted to provide support and on-going relief to certain sectors of the economy, like the social relief of distress grants of R350 - these are far from enough to sustain households, let alone individuals.

s South Africa and the world looks to rebuild its economy we need to make sure we don’t leave women at the periphery of economic emancipation. Globally, women are faced with the challenge of being left behind economically. The Covid-19 pandemic and the subsequent lockdowns have ravaged small businesses and certain sectors of the local economy to the extent that the financial freedom of most women is at risk. According to a report compiled by UN Women, titled “from insight to Action, Gender Equality in the wake of Covid-19”, women are losing

their livelihoods faster because they are more exposed to hard-hit economic sectors. The report adds, “according to a new analysis commissioned by UN

Women and UNDP, by 2021 around 435 million women and girls will be living on less than $1.90 a day — including 47 million pushed into poverty as a result of COVID-19”. The concern is that the larger impact of the pandemic will spread beyond just economics, but also hamper women’s access to sexual and reproductive health, as funds in the health care space have shifted to respond to the coronavirus. At the same time “violence against women reports have increased around the world, as widespread stay-at-home orders force women to shelter in place with their abusers, often with tragic consequences,” the report adds.

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South Africa is no exception as our economy is also plagued by pressures of the pandemic that continue to see women being left by the wayside of economic emancipation and participation. Small businesses that have often been established and supported by women have borne the brunt of the pandemic. Remember all those months in the hard Level 5 and 4 Lockdown? Think about all the female employees and entrepreneurs who would typically take care of your hair and nail appointments, spa dates, hotel bookings, take your orders at restaurants and even arrange the décor and refreshments for corporate events?

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MENTHER BUSINESS The tourism and hospitality sector in South Africa typically employs a workforce that is made up of 70% + women. Globally job losses in the tourism sector will likely exceed 100 million jobs and financial losses of approximately $1 trillion according to a policy brief from the United Nations. In South Africa the theme and trends are similar. According to a statement shared by the Deputy Minister of Tourism, Minister Fish Mahlalela “Billions of Rands have been lost in investment and more than 300 000 jobs due to the hard lockdown since the outbreak of Covid-19”. The reality of these job losses has also been evidenced in the recent unemployment figures published in South Africa. According to Statistics South Africa, the country’s Quarterly Labour Force Survey (QFLS) for the second quarter of 2021, revealed what many had already suspected – that the unemployment rate reached a new all-time high - of 34.4% from 32.6% in the first quarter. “The rate of unemployment among women was 36,8% in the 2nd quarter of 2021 compared to 32,4% amongst men according to the official definition of unemployment,” Stats SA adds. These figures have also been exacerbated by the on-going theme of retrenchments and jobs cuts in South Africa as businesses struggle to grow their revenues. Further data indicate that women are less likely to find full-time, formal paid employment than men. In 2020, 51% of black women were officially unemployed and had to create work for themselves in the informal sector. Given the slow return to

optimal economic performance – this is likely going to continue to exacerbate the current racial, societal and gender inequalities in South Africa. While several plans have been instituted to provide support and on-going relief to certain sectors of the economy, like the social relief of distress grants of R350 - these are far from enough to sustain households, let alone individuals. Truth is a lot of work is required of us, from policymakers right down to profit takers on the ground. A deliberate effort needs to be made to deepen investments into female-owned and led organisations. From the hospitality sector that has been hardest hit to offering women in formal employment an equitable reward to their male counterparts in the boardroom. We as women need to be bolder in pursuing our business efforts and making sure that we empower more women along the journey. Spend, market, support, refer women for business and employment opportunities. But as we do so, we need to make sure our male counterparts join in on the gender agenda and actively advocate for more women to have a seat (and a voice) at the table.

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MENTHER CAREERS

IS JOB APPLICATION FATIGUE A THING? Job searching is Full-time job with no pay or benefits

s a career coach, learning and development specialist and founder of two organisations, I recognise that fatigue or burnout is shared experiences that we are not talking about enough. And if we are talking about it, we are not addressing the cause or creating preventative solutions in our lives to avoid it. Burnout used to be seen and worn as a badge of honour for startups and entrepreneurs. I sometimes wonder if this was done as a coping mechanism. In 2007 the Founder of Huffington Post, Arianna Huffington, collapsed at home while on her phone and checking her emails. She woke up in a pool of blood, broken cheekbone, and a cut above her eye. She first thought she had a

brain tumor and had multiple doctor appointments to find out the cause of her stumble. After undergoing various checks and tests, her doctor returned with the simple answer that she was exhausted and burnt out. Before the accident, Arianna was working 18 hours a day for two years running Huffington Post on very little sleep or rest. This ‘burnout to achieve’

Founder / Lead Talent Development Coach pRESPECT

mindset was very common and expected in the early days before wellbeing and mental health awareness were part of the conversations. What has this got to do with me? You may be reading this and thinking; ‘yes, but Arianna is founder and CEO; how does what happened to her affect me as a job seeker applying for work’. As a student applying for internships or grad positions or an emerging founder applying for funds, exhaustion and burnout can happen to you too regardless of your job title. At one point in your life, you will experience fatigue and you may be one of those people that will push through or the type that will take a break to recharge, but will feel guilty about it as you Inspire | Connect | Empower

MENTHER CAREER think you are wasting time. However, in recent years, mental health and wellbeing in the workplace and our lives have become a mainstream conversation with focused attempt to reduce the stigma of fatigue and burnout that eventually affect our daily lives. For some people, it may lead to poor mental wellbeing, health complications or early death. So, the question “is job application fatigue a thing?” The simple answer is yes, yes, it is. When we say job applications, we can also relate this to business applications. For the context of this, we will reference job applications and the process in between the application. Job searching is full-time job with no pay or benefits. Job searching is a full-time job that is stressful, anxietyinducing and can lead to terrible exhaustion, which eventually leads to fatigue and, if left unchecked, can lead to mental health breakdown. Remember, when job hunting, you are not just dealing with the applications; you are also dealing with rejections, poor feedback, vague feedback such as “you were our second-best candidate, the other person had 1,2,3 other things we liked more”, and worst of all you hear absolutely nothing

regarding your applications. These experiences affect you long term if you don’t address them. If you add the pressure that you may be experiencing to find work, you are now working a full-time around the clock without breaks - this is when fatigue starts to creep in. You will notice when you are exhausted, applications will become below standards, you will stop tailoring your applications and if you land an interview, you may be less effective as fatigue affects your reactions, which means you will not perform at your best. For business owners and emerging founders reading this, application fatigue can be exhausting, especially if you do not have a system to make the process easier. Over the past five months of pivoting my company and launching a sister company, I have learnt the most powerful lesson in asking for help and delegating tasks. Yes, you may at first wear all the hats to get the ball rolling in your business. However as you grow and you start to feel stretched, exhausted and not enjoying your business anymore. These are signals that you need to take a break, regroup, and find ways to access help. During the last few weeks of 2020 and the beginning of 2021, I experienced burnout,

leading to mental fatigue. Nevertheless, I pushed myself to deliver the best service and support possible, while adapting my business online and ensuring my two employees were also okay. Yes, I was also homeschooling and finishing off my degree! I don’t recommend this attitude and I created plan to help me look after myself more. Tips and Suggestions Don’t despair; I am not going to leave you exhausted with doom and gloom. I invite you to start putting good habits in practice: 1 Use your calendar and planners: schedule your daily activities including application time. 2 Schedule your rest, breaks, lunch, and end of work time. Even if you work remotely and for yourself, reminding yourself to rest, eat and sleep will get your wellbeing habits in a great place 3 Take breaks from applications, for example you can do your job application Monday to Friday and Saturday is your recreation recharge day and Sunday reflect on your week. Spend at least two hours Sunday afternoon scheduling your week ahead and then unwind. 4 Go to bed before midnight during the week Take plenty of digital breaks Inspire | Connect | Empower

What is the AMAZI Virtual Knowledge Hub about? Self-care to us isn’t just an external practice; it’s an internal one as well. We believe in investing in your self-development; your relationship with yourself and your learning is just as important as investing in downtime, self-care products or treatments. There have been so many moments in our entrepreneurial journeys where we’ve searched for content written by women for women, about starting a business, structuring funding, growing a team, leadership, negotiating contracts, running a Board. We’ve found that there’s nowhere close to enough shared learning content available. So we decided to create that space, and we held ourselves to three principles: 1. Content that is written for women by women; 2. Conversational, relatable and easy-to-engage interactive content; 3. Access to a community that you can learn, share and grow with.

Enrol now and DM us to receive a 20% discount

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MENTHER LEGAL

PROTECTING PROTECTING

our trademark is a crucial part of your business. It shows the world who you are and how you set yourself apart from your competitors not to mention all the hard work you did to come up with it. You need to protect your trademark from those who may want to steal it, unintentionally or otherwise. One of the most significant gaps I have noticed when working with intellectual property clients is that most people do not view intellectual property as property at all. It is a sad phenomenon because intellectual property is the only property purely and uniquely theirs from inception. In the digital world, many infringers can hide within the shadows. They identify an up-and-coming or moderately successful brand. They build a brand so similar that the customer is confused and

thinks they are purchasing from your company versus a competitor. Here are five tips for protecting your brand in the digital age.

1 As soon as you start using

the mark in the market, place the little ™ symbol beside the mark or phase you seek to protect. When launching a new brand to the market, you want to identify your brand identity. In trademark law, there is a common law mark and a registered mark. When you use the ™ symbol, you place the market on notice that you are asserting common law ownership over the word, phrase, or symbol.

2 Consistently use the ™

symbol each time you use the phrase. To take ownership under common law, you have to show that you have consistently used your mark in commerce AND that the market was on notice that you are asserting a right to the exclusive use of the mark. Doing this will protect you if someone tries to file for a formal mark similar to yours down the road.

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3 Decide whether this is the

EXACT mark or phrase that you will use in the marketplace. Trademarks are expensive, so you want to be sure that you will continue to use the mark as is. Any changes down the road will be costly and could result in your loss of the exclusive use of the present mark.

File the mark with the United Patent and Trademark Office or your country equivalent. If you are doing business within a country, the best route is to obtain a national

trademark. Several countries have reciprocity agreements, which means your mark will be honored in your home country and the other country. Be mindful of which countries offer reciprocity (and which do not) when doing business in the digital world.

5 Monitor and Police Your

Mark. The most critical aspect of protecting your brand is to monitor and police your mark. Monitoring your mark could be a small as setting a Google Alert to send you a list when your name, phrase, or mark is

used. Alternatively, there are trademark watchdog services that you may hire to monitor your mark and deal with potential infringers. If you find that someone infringes your brand identity, you may send them a “cease and desist” letter. If they continue after the cease and desist or assert, they have the right to use the mark, try and work things out amicably.

If that does not work, you may have to file a claim in a court of competent jurisdiction to resolve the matter.

Book Spotlight Attorney-entrepreneur and master business strategist LeTonya F. Moore, Esq. Can show you how. Stop Brand Stealing Thieves: Your Brand Protection Playbook is an excellent tool to help side hustlers, newbies, and established brands alike. In this easy to follow playbook, Moore walks business owners through the first simple steps to Stop Brand Stealing Thieves in their tracks. From repositioning their mindset to protecting ideas, to building the RIGHT team and implementing good legal strategies. By constructing the right building blocks of fortifying your brand, without the intimidation of a daunting task or process, How to Stop Brand Stealing Thieves provides proven success strategies that gives you the tools to insulate your brand from thieves. Your brand is your ticket to leaving a tangible legacy and one that can span generations. How to Stop Brand Stealing Thieves is the playbook you need to make that a reality. Click to purchance a copy of STOP BRAND STEALING THIEVES NOW!

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MENTHER MARKETING

CLIENT ATTRACTION What Does Your Ideal Customer Order At Starbucks? By Shanel Evans

ow can you attract ideal clients if you don’t know who those clients are? Hang on -- I don’t just mean something generic like “females, age 25-40, living in a major city” That’s only scratching the surface. We MUST know who our “ideal audience” really is .

• What’s their Starbucks drink? Or do they prefer to go to a local coffee shop?

• Where do they live? No, not just the city • Do they live in an apartment, a house, or with roommates? • What do they like to do for fun? • How do they spend their free time? • Are they single, married, divorced, dating? • Do they have pets or kids? • What are their goals

and aspirations? • What is their favorite social media channel? • What are their political leanings? ALL of this plays into marketing to them. Because the truth is -- if you don’t know who you are selling to -- I mean REALLY selling to . . . you won’t sell at all. Which can mess with your mental mindset. Imagine speaking in a language that attracts your dream client who is willing to pay for your services?

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When you are constantly marketing to the WRONG audience, it adds to your stress level, and imposter syndrome starts to creep in. What would it look like if you crafted offers for your client to respond to their needs and pain points and solve a source of stress in their lives? Having a clear, detailed audience avatar is the key to building successful marketing and sales -- no matter what product, service, offering, or industry someone is in. When we figure out WHO our people are, we understand things like how they like to shop, how they like to pay, when they are most likely to buy, and what marketing strategies or style of copy will push them from browser BUYER. A Client Attraction Guide will not only help ANY 6 or 7 figure coach save stress, time, and money -- it will also help position you as an industry leader, promote consistency, personality, and brand . . . and of course, increase sales to ideal audiences (without spending so much time in the weeds)! It simply starts with asking yourself, “what would my ideal customer order at Starbucks?”

You can craft your ideal client avatar with Shanel’s Client Attraction Guide. Download your free copy at https://bit.ly/ClientAttractionGuide Shanel Evans, Social Media and Launch Strategist www.facebook.com/ShanelEvansConsulting www.instagram.com/Shanel.Evans

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MENTHER BOOK CLUB

UNBROKEN by Madeleine Black

adeleine Black has experienced more in her life than most ever will — or would ever want to. Most people who have gone down a similar road have ended up either dead, in mental wards, homeless, addicted to drugs, or in jail. Few have walked away from such carnage with her quiet dignity and led a life that is, by many standards, enviable. Madeleine was gang raped when she was 13 years old. She was consequently raped 3 more times before the age of 18. One might wonder how such things

could happen and potentially make judgements about such people and what they must

have done to bring on such events. In a matter of a few, short chapters, the reader will see how a slippery slope can be created from the horrible actions of just one night. The events of that first rape were so traumatic, it took Madeleine many years and a lot of hard work to uncover the memories of that attack. She, like so many others who have been raped or violently attacked, suffered from PTSD and numerous phobias and at times debilitating psychological challenges. As those memories bubbled up, she questioned their veracity, questioned her own mind. Could she believe such

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MENTHER BOOK CLUB things? Would she make up such things? All the while, she was doing her best to exact what she called her “best revenge” plan on those who attacked her: leading a good, productive, happy life. But the road to living such a life was long and painful.

So how does one emerge from such depths? And can others do it as well?

Madeleine tells her story in vivid, candid detail. Her words are simple and straight. Her story is accessible and relatable, even to those who have not suffered such hardships. That’s because her message is about how a person chooses to recover from adversity. It’s not

about what knocks a person down, it’s how they get back up. Forgiveness was the key for Madeleine. That may sound simple or trite, but true forgiveness is neither of those. True forgiveness takes genuine effort. It takes a real desire to understand those who may have done us harm. It takes caring enough about one’s self to take the necessary steps. It’s not about God or religion or faith or prayer. It’s about understanding the human predicament and coming to terms with that. It may take effort, but Madeleine shows us that it’s worth the effort. And really, if we’ve already suffered hardship, what do we have to lose?

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MENTHER TECHNOLOGY

Overcoming Mental Health

n August 25 and 26 2021 AB4IR hosted the Worldwide Women in Innovation, Incubation and Technology Summit (W-WIITS). The intention of this summit is to rewrite the narrative on inclusivity of women in the ICT sector. The platform challenges the digital gender stereotypes and advocates for more women entrepreneurs in the digital space. At this event we had Ms Siphokazi Simandla; Managing Director: Bolunga Systems & e-Waste Social Enterprise as the keynote speaker. Ms Simandla is a well-rounded woman who has earned her accolades. During her address, she challenged the audience around the world to be their “sister’s keeper”. This is a concept so common and yet so vague in the

life we live. Concepts such as women in gaming, technology, drones, animation and so on, were created to consciously make room for women in spaces that were predominately male oriented, and women were considered inferior. Throughout history there has been specific moulds for men and women.

Technology like many other fields were moulded for men. Over the years the notion was challenged. Having walked the streets and platforms of women in this that and the other, I could not help but taste the loneliness and hardship that comes with it. One walks into a boardroom and is the only woman there. You state your point only to have it rejected then rephrased and celebrated as remarkable because it fell out of the lips of a man. Right there you want to say; “that is exactly what I just said.” At that moment, you wish you could make a face or gesture or anything at someone that sees things same way you do, another woman. Just this act can affect your mental wellbeing and affect your self-esteem

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and confidence bringing you to question if you even belong in that room as the only woman. Therefore, it becomes important to make room when you get there. There are very few women in the technology space that are successful yet there are even

fewer women that are successful and being their “sister’s keeper”. As we rise, may we not forget to lift others up that need our help as much as we needed it when we were on the outside. This is what Ms Simandla was talking about. Covid-19 has challenged everything about everything we thought we knew and while the IT sector boomed due to the forced lockdowns and other factors, mental wellbeing was compromised. During this pandemic mental wellbeing showed up as an opposing force as people forgot to take time out in the quest of making more money. Technology took over and sanity was compromised. There were no breaks, no boundaries and the mind suffered.

A new era emerged where attending a minimum of 6 meetings a day was a new normal. Mental wellbeing was neglected as we kept taking more and more trying to prove that we can have it all while avoiding being left behind.

We gave into the pressure to deliver and be perfect while keeping up the façade of getting it together, maintaining the balance. Then we soon heard of depression and the amounts of suicide that resulted due to the neglect of self. So going back to the challenge posed by Ms Simandla, “being your sister’s keeper” means making room for your sister when you have arrived, checking up on your sister when they seem off balance and lending a helping hand to your sister when you recognise the need because as women we have been blessed with intuition. The only way we are going to win the quest of gender inclusivity is if we embrace who we are as women, use our attributes as strength, show up as ourselves and stand

up for other women. We need to also remember to put the mask on ourselves first before we rescue other people. For us to be “our sister’s keeper” we need the self to be well taken care of because you cannot give what you do not have. So, as we take up space, take advantage of the opportunities brought to us as women in technology, may we remember the importance of mental wellbeing. Remembering that it all starts with the self and if the mind is not well, there is little else that can be done. Sometimes the greatest strength lies in acknowledging that you are feeling weak and need help. When you find yourself in that space, there is no shame in getting the help you need be it support from family and friends, therapy, coaching, mentorship, or just plain old time out. Even cars must be serviced every 15 000 km. Be kind to yourself and keep shinning. MORE INFORMATION Ms K O Molopyane: CEO: AB4IR & Founding Director: Drone Council SA Instagram handle: Kelebogile Olivia Molopyane LinkedIn: Kelebogile Olivia Molopyane Twitter: @Kelemolop

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MENTHER STYLING

I LOVE OVERSIZED & BLACK Practical tips on how to add some joy and balance to your wardrobe

remember wearing my first favourite outfit. I was four years old. I specifically picked it out in the shop and I couldn’t wait to wear it. Reflecting back now, I think it’s fascinating that I don’t remember much about what the outfit actually looked like. What I do remember, vividly, is how it made me feel. That just goes to prove the point I’m trying to make today: the way we express ourselves through dress has a direct effect on our mood, and therefore, our mental health. The conversation around mental health has become a hot topic over

the last decade, more so in recent years. Mental health issues need to be normalised and brought out into the light, however I don’t think we need to

Virtual Stylist

succumb to its hold on our lives. Our experiences with mental health issues, such as anxiety (in all its forms) is real and sometimes, often more real than what physically surrounds us. I have experienced its vicious grip on my mind and heart many times. But believing that we have to live in a place of darkness for the rest of our lives and just do our best to survive is a lie, my friends. Regardless of what you’ve been through in your life - what you’ve seen, heard or experienced - I believe that you too can thrive! My first question, and one that needs answering Inspire | Connect | Empower

in order for us to move forward, is: what does it mean to thrive as a woman? I suppose it means different things to different women. Allow me to share my thoughts on the topic and how my intentions to thrive have shaped my life. My ability to thrive is not determined by anyone else but me. In my personal experience, thriving has not come from being treated as an “equal”. It has not come from calling people out or ‘exposing’ their motives and wrong doings. It has always come from a deep knowing of who I am and Who I was created by. Thriving is finding your lane and running your race, in the blueprint of your design as a woman, a friend, a mother, a partner and a mentor. Who do you want to be? What do you want people to remember you for? And will the things you are prioritising in your day-to-day get you to that place? Some serious thoughts for a styling column right?! (Insert little smirk). I write about these things because I have realised that everything is connected. When I sit down with a client more often than not they are struggling in certain areas of their personal life, which reflects on their fashion choices. It’s only once we get down to the nitty-gritties of self-acceptance, body confidence and identity that we’re able to change their

wardrobe in a sustainable way. I’ll give you an example. Learning to love their bodies in the state that it is (whilst still making room for healthy improvement) allows my clients to enjoy choosing outfits and expressing their individuality through clothing. When they are unable to do this they tend to hide themselves in anything oversized and anything black. Personally I love oversized and black, but I use it to enhance who I am, not conceal it. I’d like to get back to that feeling I spoke of at the beginning of this article. That feeling that wraps itself around you when you are dressed in a way that’s true to you and your personal style. I’m talking about that one dress that hugs all the right places. Those jeans that remind you, you have a great a...personality. It can only benefit our mental health when we can stay in that place of feeling content with the way we present ourselves and enjoy the process.

Here are some practical tips on how to add some joy and balance to your wardrobe:

Add colour. You know that colour you were told to never wear by some ‘specialist’. Don’t even get me started on colour

analysis. Go out and buy something in that colour if it brings you joy! My goto pops of colour for this season are lime greens, bright pastels and oranges.

2 Wear jewellery that

makes you feel fun, vibrant and playful. I don’t support fast fashion without restraint, but I do find value in the way costume jewellery makes me feel and it helps with the budget!

Make alterations to something you’ve kept in your wardrobe for sentimental reasons and turn it into something you can use in your existing wardrobe. It might be your granny’s dress that you turn into a skirt or an old blouse you wore in high school that you cut into a scarf. The sky’s the limit! Just make sure it’s something you can get a lot of use and joy out of.

4 Colour-code your

wardrobe. I know this one seems silly. I do this with all my personal styling clients and it makes ALL the difference. When there is structure and shape to your cupboard, you open it up and feel like you can breathe. It’s also so much easier to put outfits together - trust me!

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MENTHER MENTHER WELLNESS WELLNESS

EAT TO DISTRESS YOUR MIND Kholeka Mkhize shares useful tips

he food we eat plays several roles in our bodies and in society, most importantly it is for our well being physically and mentally. The state of our mind is very important and once it’s negatively affected it spills over to how one thinks and behaves. Depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities one once enjoyed.

Symptoms of Depression include:

1 Hopeless outlook 2 Lost interest 3 Increased fatigue and sleep problems

4 Anxiety 5 Irritability What to eat when distressed

A balanced diet is essential in all conditions in life, as the body

should be constantly maintained to avoid deficiencies which may lead to illnesses. In most cases depressed people neglect their body’s needs as it often leaves one with no appetite, while others may binge or develop cravings for unhealthy food. The result of all this leads to nutritional deficiencies or imbalance, particularly a lack of the B vitamins and vitamin C. Other vital minerals that may lack are magnesium, potassium, calcium and iron which all have specific relations or functions in the nervous system.

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In short malnutrition or overweight or obesity, also contribute to the decline in morale.

There are things you can do to overcome: • Enjoy a variety of wholegrains and pulses/ legumes.

• Ensure sufficient supply of proteins (lean meat, oily fish, shellfish, or eggs) which are rich in iron, zinc, copper, potassium, magnesium and vitamin B. • Snack on different fresh fruits and vegetables in season for ample supply of vitamin C and the minerals mentioned above. • Reduce intake of caffeine and foods containing caffeine, as it can exacerbate the condition by contributing to insomnia and sleeplessness. When eliminating caffeine from diet, be mindful of the withdrawal symptoms (tiredness and headaches which may last up to 3 days).

Depression and the immune system

The chances of infections are heightened by stress, exhaustion, chronic illness and depression; so how strong one’s immune system is plays an important role to good health. About 70 – 80% of immune cells are located in the gut and there’s a major communication between the gut microbiota and immune system that can determine the body’s overall health thus a balanced gut microbiota is important for the development and maintenance of the immune system. The food eaten could selectively motivate growth of beneficial bacteria that strengthen immunity and keeps the gut environment healthy. This type of nutrients are functional food like prebiotics which are nondigestible oligosaccharides (galacto-oligosaccharides and fructo-oligosaccharides) which are fermented by intestinal beneficial bacteria to create an environment that supresses the growth of harmful bacteria and their toxins. They also stimulate

the intestinal absorption and retention of several minerals, including calcium, magnesium, zinc and iron. Bloating and gas are normally experienced after the ingestion of oligosaccharides; these are the results of fermentation by the bacteria in the colon. The metabolites created also play a vital role in keeping the gut’s ph low, providing energy to the gut cells through short chain fatty acids.

To maintain a healthy gut increase ingestion of:

• Fruits and vegetables • Whole grain breads and cereals • Legumes • Nuts and seeds • Dairy products e.g. yoghurt, sour milk, etc. These foods are not only rich in fiber but are excellent sources of vitamins, minerals, trace elements, antioxidants and numerous protective phytochemicals which also play vital role in the nervous system.

• Cut down on alcohol intake, which can also contribute to the mood change and interferes with the absorption of certain nutrients, especially B vitamins. • Eliminate food that you have identified to be causing depression.

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MENTHER RESILIENCE

Understanding Resilience and how to become more balanced By Wendy Chalmers-Mill

esilience is having the capacity or brain space, to be able to withstand stressors and to bounce-back when you feel troubled, to recover quickly from challenging situations. If your mind is cluttered with too much information and noise it can prevent you from being present and rational. You become less able to be present and mindful to your needs at any given time. That’s when you become out of balance. There is a great quote from Kahil Gilbran “your living is determined not so much but what life brings to you, as by the attitude that you bring to life and not so much by what happens, as by the way your mind looks at what happens”. If you become less reactive to things that are out of your control,

it gives you more head space to be present. It can also be useful to step outside yourself and get a balcony view of what’s going on in your life so that you can gain more perspective and actually see when things are beginning to bubble up and make you feel slightly less resilient and more stressed. This “balcony view” allows you to become more rational in thought and how you can actually move into problem solving by understanding what your triggers are and how you react to them. It’s important to get objectivity in your life and let go of things that you cannot control. Experiences of adversity are subjective and you can change your mindset to adapt and understand something that perhaps has been stressful and challenging previously is no longer. You’re able to start and

understand yourself better and get a more balanced perspective. By understanding yourself internally, and that the challenges in your outside world can be interpreted in different ways, you can start to acquire coping mechanisms and relaxation methods.

5 LEAPS to resilience Laughter: Induces endorphins and happy hormones and suppresses the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline. Laughter is proven to have huge health benefits, one of which is increased resilience. Exercise: When we exercise it increases serotonin and other endorphins which help relax the body, it’s an excellent way of boosting resilience. Affirmations: Self-talk, the words or language we use is very

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powerful. It affects the unconscious mind and when we change the processing in our unconscious mind we then can start to become more resilient in our conscious mind. Telling yourself ‘I am happy, I am abundant, I am capable….’ will have an effect on how you perceive things. Your perspective starts to change, as does your positivity. Posture / Power posing: It seems extraordinary to think that by using your posture you can actually change your mental state. Your physicality, changing your posture putting your shoulders back, head up towards to sky and occupying as much space as possible (power posing) actually changes the hormones in the body to allow you to feel stronger and more empowered.

State of being: When you become more self-aware of how you feel by regularly tuning into yourself.

• Bring something new into your life, it brings a fresh perspective • Get out into nature more

Ask yourself on a scale of 1-10 ‘how do I feel today? 1 - feeling a little low, 5 being OK and 10 being feeling energised and great. You can then ask, ‘what do I need to do to move up the scale?’

For more information contact Wendy Chalmers Mill wendy@positive-performance.com linkedin.com/in/ wmillpositiveperformance

Quick top tips to boost resilience

• Deep diaphragmatic breathing • Bring more positivity into your day • Smile or laugh more • Lift someone else’s spirits • Relive your best memory • Heal a rift • Learn to say ‘no’ when you’re feeling stressed

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MENTHER CHATS

Lunchtime MEET-UP

CLICK AND LISTEN

It’s always fun connecting with you and sharing inspirational stories of social impact founders. Here’s what’s been happening on our socials.

Every Thursday at 12pm CAT we meet a social impact founder over lunch to chat about their business and how they got started.

Kirsten Ruhnke Founder @ Moontime Profiling organisations tackling #periodpoverty @moontime_africa

Auro Ramarco Founder @thecoraproject Discussing the wonderful work they’re doing to raise awareness and fight period poverty @auroramarco

Nadine Cleverly Founder @womanswarehouse.za Meet-up about how they are providing sustainable sanitary wear and offering intimate workshops in tackling period

poverty @auroramarco

Sarah Jacobs Founder @afepadsouthafrica #Safepad is treated with an anti-microbial treatment which allows it to disinfect itself. @safepadsouthafrica

Riana Lederle Founder @soulsistas.online Shareing with us their full coverage panty made from bamboo material and the other which has invisible lining @soulsistas.online

Mpho Motloung Founder @petalssa How lovely is it to receive a pamper box when starting your period? @petalssa

Sharon Gordon Founder @dignitydreamssa Women worldover continue to fight for to have a voice and among these are women and girls who experience period poverty as well as mother earth who has to deal wit pollutants, which include pads, tampons and panty liners. @dignitydreamssa

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Have you ever thought about your journey to start and grow an impact business or found yourself asking about social entrepreneurship, what it is and how it works? Now you can know more in our new series, the A-Z of Social Entrepreneurship, we’re a thrid of the way through, so you can catch up and grow as we go.

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Our Contributors

Thank you for coming together to make this possible and for the work you do to support and empower women

Alice Dlamini International Speaker and women in leadership development consultant. Alice Dlamini Dr Mpilo Sithole (Sustainability) MBBCh (Wits) @drmpilo Gugulethu Mfuphi (Business) Conversation Strategist, Broadcaster and Financial Journalist @gugumfuphi Kelebogile Molopyane (Technology) Chief Executive @ AB4IR www.ab4ir.org @KelebogileMolopyane Kholeka Mkhize (Wellness) Dietician // Nutritionist kholeka-mkhize LeTonya Moore (Legal) Creator of the Legalproof Your Business Methodology Mona Willis (Styling) Virtual Stylist www.wearejona.com moh_nah

Nonhlanhla Mazibuko (Personal Growth) Founder of isiVUNO Media and Publication @nigmael_ Shanel Evans Shanel Evans, Social Media and Launch Strategist ShanelEvansConsulting Viana Maya (Career) Career and Talent Development Coach www.prespect.co.uk viana-maya Vimbai Schwalm (Relationships) Trust Builder and Coach - Healing With Trust Vimbai Schwalm Wendy Chalmers-Mill (Resilience) Training and development wmillpositiveperformance

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MentHer Magazine October 2021 - Mental Health Month Edition

Articles inside

TECHNOLOGY

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SOCIAL IMPACT FOUNDERS LIST 2021

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