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THE DAVIS ENTERPRISE
Hunger has no season Dear Annie: Your responders are showing the wonderful ways they are illustrating generosity and care this season, even at the expense of their own enjoyment of the holidays. A suggestion for making those benefits available past Jan. 1 would be to adopt a school or family or shelter, and to continue that commitment. Hunger has no season. Compassion has no limits. Dear Compassion: I love your letter. The more we can give to others, the better we feel about ourselves. It is a beautiful circle of joy. Thank you. ——— Dear Annie: I read the article about grown children living at home and disrespecting their parents. I, too, had to apply the “tough love” strategy to one of my children. In a nutshell, my oldest son left for college at 18, finished his freshman year, found a girlfriend and, at 19, decided to switch colleges. He moved into an apartment with a couple of high school friends and began his sophomore year at the university. I soon began to notice that whenever I called the apartment, he was never there. His friends would tell him to call home, which he would. I soon caught on that he was no longer living at the apartment I was paying for. He had moved in with his girlfriend, dropped classes so he could work to pay rent and run up every credit card he applied for. We finally had a family discussion about all this, and it was decided he would move home, get a fulltime job and start paying off his debts. His girlfriend did the same. The problem was, once he returned home, he didn’t find a job. He worked part time once in a while and kept hours well beyond our curfew. He was given an ultimatum: three strikes and you’re out. After the third time he came home at 3:00 a.m. after partying, I knew what I had to do. I packed up all of his belongings, put them out on the driveway and told him he could no longer live under our roof. I also told him I loved him so very much and that was THE HARDEST decision I ever had to make. I cried all night the first night and hardly slept for a week. He bounced around from friend to friend for about a month. Then, he got a job; he got an apartment; and he started turning his life around. Two years later, he told me that he never blamed me for kicking him out and said that it was probably the best thing I had ever done for him. We have a great relationship. He is nearly 40 now, married with kids, and he has a solid career. I should note that our other children took notice and did not follow in his footsteps. — Tough-Love Mom Dear Tough-Love Mom: Congratulations on doing one of the hardest and kindest things you could do for your son. You are
correct that if you enable bad behavior, there really is little incentive to change. What you did for your son changed the trajectory of his life forever. Your tough love paid off. Kudos.
Letting go of anger to let love in Dear Annie: My mother separated from my father when I was 3. She left my father, who never came looking for us. She later married a wonderful man who loves me more than anything. When I was 15, a family member was able to get in touch with my biological father. The next day, he changed his phone number. Recently, I did a DNA test and was able to connect with a cousin. I’ve been told that my biological father has since remarried and has two children. She gave him my number, and he has reached out to me. He wants to meet me but has no intention of telling his family about me. I’m hanging onto this hatred and wondering if that is why, at the age of 40, I still can’t see past the worst in men. Do I live with this anger or do I move on? — Stuck in Anger Dear Stuck: Living in anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It is understandable that you are angry with your biological father. He sounds like he was an unhappy man. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not the other person. Try to see that your biological father was very limited in the love or support that he could give you. This had nothing to do with you and everything to do with his limitations. As for your anger with men, try putting your attention on the wonderful men in your life instead of those who aren’t present. Case in point: the man your mother married. You said that he loves you more than anything. That type of love between a daughter and stepdad is so beautiful. Focus on that, and you will be much happier. If you need help in letting go of the anger and hurt of your father’s abandonment, then consider seeking the help of a professional therapist. There is a kindness about your letter, and kind people let go of anger. ——— Dear Annie: The letter from “Shepherd With a Lost Sheep,” who feels that his adult daughter is not making good life decisions, reminded me of my own daughter, “Jane.” Jane easily graduated with honors from college, but like “Shepherd’s” daughter, she has never been employed in her edu-
cational field and worked only at fairly menial jobs. In addition, she has been divorced twice and had several questionable live-in relationships. What I didn’t know for many years, and what “Shepherd” may not realize about his daughter, is that Jane had a mental illness. She was able to function marginally OK for daily life, but she could not make the best life decisions. Even though she took the initiative to see numerous mental health counselors, and did her own exhaustive self-study, it wasn’t until 25 years after college that her mental illness finally reached a crisis that resulted in getting the help she needed. I recommend “Shepherd” contact his local affiliate of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, which has exceptional programs for the loved ones of persons with mental illness. NAMI and my counselor have helped me to understand and cope with Jane’s illness and how to properly assist in ensuring she gets the help she needs. I now accept that Jane is doing the best she can, and we maintain a wonderful relationship. I wish the same for “Shepherd.” — Dad at Peace Dear Dad at Peace: Thank you very much for your letter. I am delighted that you are able to maintain a wonderful relationship with your daughter. So much of having a good relationship with others stems from understanding where they are coming from or what they are going through. I have a feeling your letter will help many readers.
13 Years of bad luck Dear Annie: I’m confused about an issue that involves my husband. We have been separated for 13 years. We try to work things out all the time, but now, suddenly, he said I cheated on him. He also said that all I do is lie to him. He said he doesn’t want to listen to me when I tell him the truth. He listens to everybody else. So, should I keep trying, or should I just get the divorce and move on with my life and find someone new? Please help me. — Confused Dear Confused: The answer is pretty clear. After 13 years of what sounds like a toxic relationship, it is time to either commit to marriage counseling or to get divorced. Staying in limbo, continuing to accuse each other of cheating and fighting all the time is not healthy for anyone. Best of luck to you. ——— Dear Annie: Please tell the parents who were confused or concerned about cellphone use to have their teens watch (with them, if possible) the documentary “The Social Dilemma” on Netflix. It explains the power of cellphone addiction and how it is ruining lives, making teens (and adults) depressed and anxious and contributing to the rise of
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Man hiding behind texts Dear Annie: I’m 48 years old. I’ve been a single mom since I had my first kid — in other words, since forever. I’ve never really had healthy relationships with men. I’m way too trusting and just want love so badly. A few months ago, I accidentally texted a man I knew from high school. We ended up striking up a conversation, texting back and forth for a few days. Then he called me a couple of times, and we had long talks. We became friends on Facebook. I was so interested, as he seemed like a very good man: 20-year veteran, retired, single father, hard worker. I could tell that family was important to him. And he was so good-looking. After two months of chatting back and forth, I asked to meet him. He said, “Maybe after some more time.” After another month, I said: “Can I please meet you? I just want to see you in person, even
for 5 minutes.” For some reason, he seemed to panic. He said: “I am going through something professionally. I may be moving out of state and don’t want to get attached.” I decided that he was worth the risk, so I pushed on and asked questions. He got angry and blocked me. For two weeks after that, I tried to contact him, but he kept me blocked. I just don’t understand. Our friendship meant something to me. In our last conversation, when I brought that up, his only response was that “we weren’t together.” I understood that. But why would he not just let me meet him? I’m too old to be this confused. — Lost Dear Lost: It sounds as though he’s the one who’s lost and confused. You know what you want. Thankfully, your directness flushed out these issues after just three months; otherwise, this could have dragged on for who knows how long. Don’t get discouraged. There are plenty more good men out there who value family — and who are looking for a relationship. While the pandemic makes in-person dating risky at the moment, you can connect with potential partners on dating sites such as Match.com and eHarmony and go on FaceTime or Skype dates to see whether you feel a spark. ——— Dear Annie: I’d like to share my response to “Working From Home Works.” In the past, I also had at least an hour’s drive to the office. Talk to your boss. He might consider some compromise, such as allowing you to do three days at home and two days at the office. That approach worked well for me — the best of both worlds! Initially, bosses may think that you goof off at home. But in time, they’ll likely find that production is higher, and then they are happy. — Worked for Me Dear Worked for Me: Indeed — a hybrid remote and in-office approach might be just the thing to make life workable for longdistance commuters and managers alike. Thanks for writing. ——— Dear Annie: Not long ago in your column, you featured a letter from a gentleman asking what to do when he was asked to write a recommendation for someone whom he was uncomfortable recommending. I was reminded of a time, many years ago, when I worked for a human resources director who was widely regarded by every employee and was asked often to write recommendations. When he was asked to write a recommendation for someone who wasn’t a great employee, he solved the problem by writing, “If you can get (name) to work for you, you will be a very lucky person.” I don’t think any of those requesting the references ever caught on. — Bonnie R. Dear Bonnie: Thanks for the chuckle!
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hate groups. The biggest threat is the undermining of democracy. Everyone should watch it. It is an eyeopener and will surely give teens more to think about when deciding on their own to use less screen time than just “because mom and dad say so.” — Cellphone Wary Dear Cellphone Wary: This was a great movie — thanks for the recommendation! — though, I think some of the political messages could be considered controversial. There’s no dispute that social media and cellphones are incredibly distracting. Cellphones have been called “the new cigarettes” because they can be addictive and harmful. ——— Dear Annie: I have to share a gift. When my nephew got married, his future mother-in-law sat her daughter down and had a talk with her about her future mother-in-law. Her mom told her to be “nice and respectful” to her future mother-in-law. Her mom told her this, because she has a daughter-in-law who does not treat her well. Unfortunately, I feel this story could be familiar for many mothers of sons. It is heartbreaking that so many families experience this. We never know when a loved one could be gone in a heartbeat. So, why are we acting this way? I guess what really needs to be said is this: Talk to each other. Tell each other what you like and don’t like. Engage in a relationship. Life is work; let’s make it productive and pleasant for as many as we can. Thank you for listening; I love your column for what you write, mainly because of your openness to other viewpoints. — Mother-in-Law Dear Mother-in-Law: Your letter highlights a very important rule; namely, the golden one. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. When we live like this, the world shines a little brighter.
LOST & FOUND
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FRIDAY, JANUARY 1, 2021 B3
Have you lost a pet? Do you want to help shelter animals get back home? Please join the Yolo County Lost and Found Pets Group on Facebook at facebook.com/ groups/yolopets
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HELP WANTED WPCP Operator In Training (Temporary Part Time) – Public Works U&O – FFD: 12/28/2020 Salary: $23.70 - $28.81 Hourly; City of Davis, 23 Russell Blvd., Davis, CA 95616. FFD: 12/28/2020. See job bulletin at www.cityofdavis.org for min. req. or call (530) 757-5644, TDD (530) 757-5666; City emp. appl. req. EOE.
Public Notices FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Filed: December 8, 2020 FBN Number: F20200989 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) Manolitos Auto Detailing 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of Principal Place of Business in California. Business is located in Yolo County. 224 A Street, Apt. 13 Davis, CA 95616 3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), Residence Address, State, and Zip Manolo Cirilo Santos 224 A Street, Apt. 13 Davis, CA 95616 4. Business Classification: Individual 5. Beginning Date of Business: The Registrant(s) commenced to transact
business under the fictitious business name or names listed above on: December 7, 2020 “I declare that all information in this statement is true and correct.” (A registrant who declares as true information which he or she knows to be false is guilty of a crime.) 6. Signature of Registrant(s): Manolo Cirilo Santos 12/18, 12/25, 1/1, 1/8 1093
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Business is located in Yolo County. 519 Main Street Woodland, CA 95695 Mailing address: 3 Rice Court Woodland, CA 95695 3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), Residence Address, State, and Zip Embellish Decor LLC 3 Rice Court Woodland, CA 95695 4. Business Classification: FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Limited Liability Company 5. Beginning Date of Business: The Filed: December 4, 2020 Registrant(s) commenced to transact FBN Number: F20200976 business under the fictitious business 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) name or names listed above on: EMBELLISH DECOR LLC 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of November 10, 2020 Principal Place of Business in California. “I declare that all information in
this statement is true and correct.” (A registrant who declares as true information which he or she knows to be false is guilty of a crime.) 6. Signature of Registrant(s): Rebecca L Roncoroni Officer, Embellish Decor LLC 12/18, 12/25, 1/1, 1/8 1094
3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), Residence Address, State, and Zip Allison Lo 7425 Bruno Way Sacramento, CA 95828 4. Business Classification: Individual 5. Beginning Date of Business: The FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME Registrant(s) commenced to transact STATEMENT business under the fictitious business name Filed: December 22, 2020 or names listed above on: N/A FBN Number: F20201013 “I declare that all information in this 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) statement is true and correct.” (A registrant PHO TASTY 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of who declares as true information which he Principal Place of Business in California. or she knows to be false is guilty of a crime.) 6. Signature of Registrant(s): Business is located in Yolo County. Allison Lo 301 G Street 12/25, 1/1, 1/8, 1/15 1104 Davis, CA 95616