Mcguffy's news Brockville 05 23

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Questions & Answers

Good Question Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

• Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea? A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels. Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? A: A walkie-talkie, of course.

• Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

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• Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers are not afraid to print a Chapter 11?

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• How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.

Q: Why do hens lay eggs? A: If they dropped them, they’d break.

• How do you handcuff a one-armed man? • If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

I Believe I Believe... that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

Celebrity Quotes “I’m not in competition with anybody but myself. My goal is to beat my last performance.

Across 4. Buddy 5. Advisor 8. Earned Awards 11. Rustic Dwelling 13. Sailing a crude raft

14. Light narrow boat 15. Bunch, cluster Down 1. Descriptive name 2. Brief note home 3. Fun Activity

4. Angling 6. Large, friendly Fire 7. Roasting Dutch Oven 9. Frolicking in water 10. Makes by hand 12. BSA or GSA unit

Look Back In Time

~ Celine Dion

1995 1. OJ Simpson is found innocent, October 4 (He was later found liable in a second trial).

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• If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum? A: Because they don’t know the words.

Q&A

Sage Advice

I Have Learned... I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me. ~ Age 15

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Bizarre Real Life Animal Laws 1. Over in Berea, Kentucky and also in Willamantic, Connecticut, horses are not allowed out on the streets and highways at night unless the animal has a “bright” red taillight securely attached to its rump.

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2. Horses may not wear cowbells inside the city limits of Tahoe City, California. 3. In Washington, though, every cow wandering the streets of Seattle must be wearing a cowbell. 4. In Burns, Oregon, horses are allowed in the town’s taverns, if an admission fee is paid before they enter. 5. You can’t blow your nose in public places in Leahy, Washington, because it might scare a horse and cause it to panic.

Ever Wonder?

2. Quebec, a province in Canada with majority French speaking citizens, defeats a referendum on Quebec independence by less than 1 %

If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

3. First planet outside our solar system found.

If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman?

• If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

5. August 24 Microsoft released its much anticipated Windows 95. Millions of dollars were spent on ad compaigns by Microsoft and retail stores. This release sealed the deal in America becoming digitized.

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4. March 31, 1995. The singer Selena Quintanilla Perez was murdered in Corpus Christi, Texas by her Fan Club President Yolanda Saldivar.

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If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

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