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Empowering Thoughts Relaxation means releasing all concern and tension and letting the natural order of life flow through one’s being. ~ Donald Curtis Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. ~ Natalie Goldberg

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It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

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Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s Edition

To Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist Jon: 613 342 0428 jon@mcguffysnews.com

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Necessary Operation A surgeon examined a new patient most carefully. After studying the x-rays and the charts, he turned to the man and said, “Could you pay for an operation if I told you it was necessary?” The patient thought for a moment, then said to the doctor, “Would you find one necessary if I told you I couldn’t pay for it?”

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I pay very little regard to what any young person says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they have not yet seen the right person. ~ Jane Austen

Quick Joke

Airport Shuttle

Issue 23

Financial Security Advisor

Gord Phillips, REBC, GBA, RHU

PORTABLE RENTAL SIGNS · FLEET TRUCKS · PAINT PROTECTION · HEAVY EQUIPMENT · SOLVENT PRINTING · VEHICLE STRIPES · REAL ESTATE SIGNS · ILLUMINATED SIGNS

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Your business, your needs, our help

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Funny Signs In A Comic Book Store

Very Funny, Scotty Now Beam Up My Clothes You Should Check This Out! 5 ads you should check out in this issue! ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓

Sitting Next To A Parrot

If you can't be kind, at least be vague.

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On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a juice ugly lady!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a juice for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another juice you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another a juice for the parrot and forgets the coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you". The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

WE SHARE THE SAME COMMITMENT.

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What Do You Want To Reflect?

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Real Ads The Following Are Real Ads ~ Classified And Otherwise 1. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent. 2. For sale—eight puppies from a German shepherd and an Alaskan hussy. 3. Great Dames for sale. 4. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. 5. Dog for sale—eats anything and is fond of children. 6. Vacation special—have your home exterminated.

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The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as “Kekoukela”, meaning “Bite the Wax Tadpole” or “Female Horse Stuffed with Wax”, depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent “kokoukole”, translating into “Happiness in the Mouth.”

Quick Quote

BEST

HAVE A QUESTION? OR WANT A QUOTE?

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ~ Ruth Bell Graham

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Gift Certificates Make Great Gifts!

Now they need you to help them make the right decision

Sam’s June Line-Up:

Starting to Forget? Soon after her brother was born, little Sachi began to ask her parents to leave her alone with the new baby. They worried that like most four-yearolds, she might feel jealous and want to hit or shake him, so they said no. But she showed no signs of jealousy. She treated the baby with kindness and her pleas to be left alone with him became more urgent. They decided to allow it. Elated, she went into the baby's room and shut the door, but it opened a crack — enough for her curious parents to peek in and listen. They saw little Sachi walk quietly up to her baby brother, put her face close to his and say quietly, "Baby, tell me what God feels like. I'm starting to forget."

Bumper Snickers •

Time flies when you don’t know what you’re doing

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once

To be loved, be lovable

To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid

To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy

Turn Signals: Not just for smart people anymore

Unlike online, in reality, you can’t hit the back button

Want to be somebody? Don’t drive after drinking

Monday’s - Pool League 7pm Thurdays - Karaoke Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm

AGE OF MAJORITY

Start Up Bank Reconciliation Gov’t Remittances

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

June 8 Journey Men June 9 Generation ZX (3-7) June 15 Little California June 9 Cancer Society Summer June 22 Gypsy Moon Fiesta $5 7pm June 29 Full Circle Fundraiser for relay for life - DJ

24 Perth St, Brockville, ON

(613)498 1919

True Meaning of Adoption Teacher Cindy Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl named Jocelynn Jay said, "I know all about adoptions because I was adopted." "What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child. "It means," said Jocelynn, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy."

McGuffy’s News Website!!

Attention Readers! Now even more fun, McGuffy’s News has now websites in Brockville and Prescott. You can go to www.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca or www.mcguffysnewsprescott.ca and view our virtual paper and also check our JOKE OF THE DAY! (You can even ♪ Music Notes ♫ submit a joke-clean of course!) Or see our VIDEO OF THE WEEK! Or CHECK OUT THE MOST ♪ The CD was developed by Philips and Sony in 1980. COMPREHENSIVE COMMUNITY EVENTS ♪ 40 billion songs are downloaded illegally every year, that’s some 90% of all CALENDAR IN THE AREA (you can submit music downloads. events for non-profit groups i.e. schools/organizations ♪ The music industry generates about $4 billion in online music but loses etc) and also view our COMMUNITY PHOTO about $40 billion to illegal downloads. GALLERY (You can send in your own pictures of events/pets/cars/boats/children/awards/school/ ♪ Top-selling albums used to reach sales of 20 million copies before the ad funny photos/ garden/fishing/ etc. Anything you want vent of online piracy – by 2009 it had dropped to about 5 million. to send to share with readers/and the community. We ♪ The number of recorded CDs and blank CDs sold were about equal. will also have Sudoku and Crosswords you can play, ♪ About one-third of recorded CDs ever sold were pirated. on-line games and a lot more!!!!

Riddle

“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$”

Your parents helped you cross the street safely, learn to ride a bike and drive a car

Quick

www.littlebearbookkeeping.ca

Le Theif

In a marathon race what does the winning runner lose? Their breath!

Little Bear Bookkeeping

Check it out today and share with friends and family that McGuffy’s News is now on-line in your area!!!


Questions & Answers

Good Question Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

• Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea? A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels. Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? A: A walkie-talkie, of course.

• Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

Camp

• Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers are not afraid to print a Chapter 11?

CROSSWORD

• How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.

Q: Why do hens lay eggs? A: If they dropped them, they’d break.

• How do you handcuff a one-armed man? • If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

I Believe I Believe... that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

Celebrity Quotes “I’m not in competition with anybody but myself. My goal is to beat my last performance.

Across 4. Buddy 5. Advisor 8. Earned Awards 11. Rustic Dwelling 13. Sailing a crude raft

14. Light narrow boat 15. Bunch, cluster Down 1. Descriptive name 2. Brief note home 3. Fun Activity

4. Angling 6. Large, friendly Fire 7. Roasting Dutch Oven 9. Frolicking in water 10. Makes by hand 12. BSA or GSA unit

Look Back In Time

~ Celine Dion

1995 1. OJ Simpson is found innocent, October 4 (He was later found liable in a second trial).

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• If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum? A: Because they don’t know the words.

Q&A

Sage Advice

I Have Learned... I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me. ~ Age 15

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Bizarre Real Life Animal Laws 1. Over in Berea, Kentucky and also in Willamantic, Connecticut, horses are not allowed out on the streets and highways at night unless the animal has a “bright” red taillight securely attached to its rump.

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2. Horses may not wear cowbells inside the city limits of Tahoe City, California. 3. In Washington, though, every cow wandering the streets of Seattle must be wearing a cowbell. 4. In Burns, Oregon, horses are allowed in the town’s taverns, if an admission fee is paid before they enter. 5. You can’t blow your nose in public places in Leahy, Washington, because it might scare a horse and cause it to panic.

Ever Wonder?

2. Quebec, a province in Canada with majority French speaking citizens, defeats a referendum on Quebec independence by less than 1 %

If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

3. First planet outside our solar system found.

If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman?

• If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

5. August 24 Microsoft released its much anticipated Windows 95. Millions of dollars were spent on ad compaigns by Microsoft and retail stores. This release sealed the deal in America becoming digitized.

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4. March 31, 1995. The singer Selena Quintanilla Perez was murdered in Corpus Christi, Texas by her Fan Club President Yolanda Saldivar.

Courtney Sadler Owner

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

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Bring This Ad In

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At over 140 Locations in Brockville/Athens North Augusta/Lyn Mallorytown & Rockport

Rosemary Coleman Owner

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A Fresh Perspective Five Truths of Accountability I've been speaking on or writing about PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY since 1995—and I've come to believe there are five truths that are self-evident: 1. Everybody wants everybody else to practice personal accountability. Enough said. 2. Individuals make exceptions for themselves when it comes to accountability/responsibility/ownership: Example: If I earned an annual income of, say, $65,000 back when the real estate market was peaking, but bought a half million dollar home—and then lost that home—it was due to "predatory lending." But if a neighbor flies to Vegas, gambles away his entire net worth and comes back broke, we think, "Wow. That was really stupid. What a foolish thing for him to do!" Sometimes, we need to say that to ourselves, and then ask The Question Behind the Question (QBQ), "What can I learn from this experience?" 3. I am more effective in all roles—father, mother, professional, spouse, friend, volunteer—when I practice personal accountability. 4. Life is more enjoyable—downright more fun!—when I walk on the High Road of Personal Accountability. 5. It's simply the "right thing to do." The wrong things to do are blame, whine, point fingers, play victim, become entitled—and expect others to bail me out of my bad choices. Now, if you don't agree with these five ideas—that's just fine. But that's the way I see it. John G. Miller Author of ... ‘QBQ! The Question Behind the Question®’, ‘Flipping the Switch ... Unleash the Power of Personal Accountability’, ‘Outstanding! 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional’, http://www.qbq.com/ Denver, Colorado, USA 303-286-9900 John@QBQ.com

Very Punny A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog’s cross-eyed; is there anything you can do for him? “ “Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says “I’m sorry, but I'm going to have to put him down.” “What? Because he’s cross-eyed?” wails the owner. “No, because he’s really heavy!”

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Golden Soles

Marveling At The Moon On June 16, 1963, Colonel-Engineer Valentina Vladimirovna Tereshkova was a Soviet cosmonaut and the first woman in space. Sally Ride, astronaut from the United States, became the first American woman in space in 1983. Neil Armstrong, astronaut for the United States, became the first person to walk on the moon. His moon walk took place on July 20, 1969. He traveled to the moon aboard Apollo 11.

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Sergei Kirkalyov, cosmonaut from the Soviet Union, has spent the most time in space. He was aboard the space station for 2 years and 73 days. Sudoku Solution

Crossword Solution

Freeates Estim

Census Conundrum The Problem: A census taker approaches a house and asks the woman who answers the door, ”How many children do you have, and what are their ages?” Woman: “I have three children, the product of their ages are 36, the sum of their ages are equal to the address of the house next door.” The census taker walks next door, comes back and says, “I need more information.” The woman replies, “I have to go, my oldest child is sleeping upstairs.” Census taker: “Thank you, I now have everything I need.” What are the ages of each of the three children? The Solution: The reason the census taker could not figure out the children’s ages is because, even with knowing the number on the house next door, there were still two possibilities. The only way that the product could be 36 and still leave two possibilities is if the sum equals 13. These possibilities being 9, 2 and 2 or 6, 6 and 1. When the home owner stated that her “Oldest” child is sleeping she was giving the census taker the fact that there is an “oldest.” The children’s ages are therefore 9, 2 and 2.

DisSenio cou r’s nts

New & Old - Drywall/Wood Mike Dowdall, Owner thepainterman3@hotmail.com

Advertise Your Spa Specialties.

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Payroll-ROE’s-T4’s Source Documentation Monthly Financial Statements

Patricia Doucette Owner/Bookkeeper

613-246-6482

30 Bottles of House Wine

(Red or White)$89.99* (see store for details)

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What Do You Want To Reflect?

“In The

Of Brockville”

Guys & Gals Full Service Salon

613-498-9898 Steph Saunders Owner howyouwear@bellnet.ca 165 King St W Brockville

Real Ads The Following Are Real Ads ~ Classified And Otherwise 1. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent. 2. For sale—eight puppies from a German shepherd and an Alaskan hussy. 3. Great Dames for sale. 4. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. 5. Dog for sale—eats anything and is fond of children. 6. Vacation special—have your home exterminated.

Loving atmosphere Trims Baths Nails

Paula Fairfield 613-345-6220 Owner/operator By appointment only Brockville, On. www.mydoggroomerpawla.com

PRICE

ALWAYS

Marketing Gone Awry

Email the Experts! thetireguy@riversideford.ca

Riverside Ford Sales Ltd Brockville, ON

613-345-1909 Oveerars 15 Yerience Exp

Floor Refinishing

Fully Licensed & Insured

For All Your Hardwood Needs Specializing in refinishing Old Wood Floors

“Restore Your Floor and More”

www.dklflooring.com

Chris Plume 613-349-4500 chris@dklflooring.com

The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as “Kekoukela”, meaning “Bite the Wax Tadpole” or “Female Horse Stuffed with Wax”, depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent “kokoukole”, translating into “Happiness in the Mouth.”

Quick Quote

BEST

HAVE A QUESTION? OR WANT A QUOTE?

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ~ Ruth Bell Graham

SAM’S BRASS RACKS Live Entertainment ~ Billiards ~ Darts ~ Shuffleboard Big Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays

248 Park St., W., Prescott

613-925-3784 www.chartwellreit.ca

VISIT OUR NEW WEBSITE WWW.MCGUFFYSNEWSBROCKVILLE.CA !

Gift Certificates Make Great Gifts!

Now they need you to help them make the right decision

Sam’s June Line-Up:

Starting to Forget? Soon after her brother was born, little Sachi began to ask her parents to leave her alone with the new baby. They worried that like most four-yearolds, she might feel jealous and want to hit or shake him, so they said no. But she showed no signs of jealousy. She treated the baby with kindness and her pleas to be left alone with him became more urgent. They decided to allow it. Elated, she went into the baby's room and shut the door, but it opened a crack — enough for her curious parents to peek in and listen. They saw little Sachi walk quietly up to her baby brother, put her face close to his and say quietly, "Baby, tell me what God feels like. I'm starting to forget."

Bumper Snickers •

Time flies when you don’t know what you’re doing

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once

To be loved, be lovable

To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid

To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy

Turn Signals: Not just for smart people anymore

Unlike online, in reality, you can’t hit the back button

Want to be somebody? Don’t drive after drinking

Monday’s - Pool League 7pm Thurdays - Karaoke Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm

AGE OF MAJORITY

Start Up Bank Reconciliation Gov’t Remittances

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

June 8 Journey Men June 9 Generation ZX (3-7) June 15 Little California June 9 Cancer Society Summer June 22 Gypsy Moon Fiesta $5 7pm June 29 Full Circle Fundraiser for relay for life - DJ

24 Perth St, Brockville, ON

(613)498 1919

True Meaning of Adoption Teacher Cindy Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl named Jocelynn Jay said, "I know all about adoptions because I was adopted." "What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child. "It means," said Jocelynn, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy."

McGuffy’s News Website!!

Attention Readers! Now even more fun, McGuffy’s News has now websites in Brockville and Prescott. You can go to www.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca or www.mcguffysnewsprescott.ca and view our virtual paper and also check our JOKE OF THE DAY! (You can even ♪ Music Notes ♫ submit a joke-clean of course!) Or see our VIDEO OF THE WEEK! Or CHECK OUT THE MOST ♪ The CD was developed by Philips and Sony in 1980. COMPREHENSIVE COMMUNITY EVENTS ♪ 40 billion songs are downloaded illegally every year, that’s some 90% of all CALENDAR IN THE AREA (you can submit music downloads. events for non-profit groups i.e. schools/organizations ♪ The music industry generates about $4 billion in online music but loses etc) and also view our COMMUNITY PHOTO about $40 billion to illegal downloads. GALLERY (You can send in your own pictures of events/pets/cars/boats/children/awards/school/ ♪ Top-selling albums used to reach sales of 20 million copies before the ad funny photos/ garden/fishing/ etc. Anything you want vent of online piracy – by 2009 it had dropped to about 5 million. to send to share with readers/and the community. We ♪ The number of recorded CDs and blank CDs sold were about equal. will also have Sudoku and Crosswords you can play, ♪ About one-third of recorded CDs ever sold were pirated. on-line games and a lot more!!!!

Riddle

“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$”

Your parents helped you cross the street safely, learn to ride a bike and drive a car

Quick

www.littlebearbookkeeping.ca

Le Theif

In a marathon race what does the winning runner lose? Their breath!

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Check it out today and share with friends and family that McGuffy’s News is now on-line in your area!!!


Questions & Answers

Good Question Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

• Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea? A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels. Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? A: A walkie-talkie, of course.

• Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

Camp

• Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers are not afraid to print a Chapter 11?

CROSSWORD

• How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.

Q: Why do hens lay eggs? A: If they dropped them, they’d break.

• How do you handcuff a one-armed man? • If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

I Believe I Believe... that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

Celebrity Quotes “I’m not in competition with anybody but myself. My goal is to beat my last performance.

Across 4. Buddy 5. Advisor 8. Earned Awards 11. Rustic Dwelling 13. Sailing a crude raft

14. Light narrow boat 15. Bunch, cluster Down 1. Descriptive name 2. Brief note home 3. Fun Activity

4. Angling 6. Large, friendly Fire 7. Roasting Dutch Oven 9. Frolicking in water 10. Makes by hand 12. BSA or GSA unit

Look Back In Time

~ Celine Dion

1995 1. OJ Simpson is found innocent, October 4 (He was later found liable in a second trial).

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• If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum? A: Because they don’t know the words.

Q&A

Sage Advice

I Have Learned... I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me. ~ Age 15

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Bizarre Real Life Animal Laws 1. Over in Berea, Kentucky and also in Willamantic, Connecticut, horses are not allowed out on the streets and highways at night unless the animal has a “bright” red taillight securely attached to its rump.

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2. Horses may not wear cowbells inside the city limits of Tahoe City, California. 3. In Washington, though, every cow wandering the streets of Seattle must be wearing a cowbell. 4. In Burns, Oregon, horses are allowed in the town’s taverns, if an admission fee is paid before they enter. 5. You can’t blow your nose in public places in Leahy, Washington, because it might scare a horse and cause it to panic.

Ever Wonder?

2. Quebec, a province in Canada with majority French speaking citizens, defeats a referendum on Quebec independence by less than 1 %

If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

3. First planet outside our solar system found.

If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman?

• If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

5. August 24 Microsoft released its much anticipated Windows 95. Millions of dollars were spent on ad compaigns by Microsoft and retail stores. This release sealed the deal in America becoming digitized.

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A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the Brockville, ON whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt Need a special Book? ays a Open 7 D and offended. Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned Give us a call Week! Shop On-line that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage 613-342-5728 With Us! www.leedscountybooks.ca to find out what she could do to repair the damage. Order This areas #1 supplier of topographical maps & river charts. “Go to the marketplace,” he said, “and purchase a chicken, and have it Any Book!! read@leedscountybooks.ca killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road.” Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she Early Spring Special! was told. Save 25% OFF The next day the wise man said, “Now go and collect all those feathers you Exhaust Brakes/Bearings dropped yesterday and bring them back to me.” The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had Struts Transmission Service blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only HWY 29 Auto Service three in her hand. “You see,” said the old sage, “it’s easy to drop them, but We Help Keep #3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On it’s impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn’t take much to Car Repairs 613-342-5249 Affordable! spread a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong.”

4. March 31, 1995. The singer Selena Quintanilla Perez was murdered in Corpus Christi, Texas by her Fan Club President Yolanda Saldivar.

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If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

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A Fresh Perspective Five Truths of Accountability I've been speaking on or writing about PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY since 1995—and I've come to believe there are five truths that are self-evident: 1. Everybody wants everybody else to practice personal accountability. Enough said. 2. Individuals make exceptions for themselves when it comes to accountability/responsibility/ownership: Example: If I earned an annual income of, say, $65,000 back when the real estate market was peaking, but bought a half million dollar home—and then lost that home—it was due to "predatory lending." But if a neighbor flies to Vegas, gambles away his entire net worth and comes back broke, we think, "Wow. That was really stupid. What a foolish thing for him to do!" Sometimes, we need to say that to ourselves, and then ask The Question Behind the Question (QBQ), "What can I learn from this experience?" 3. I am more effective in all roles—father, mother, professional, spouse, friend, volunteer—when I practice personal accountability. 4. Life is more enjoyable—downright more fun!—when I walk on the High Road of Personal Accountability. 5. It's simply the "right thing to do." The wrong things to do are blame, whine, point fingers, play victim, become entitled—and expect others to bail me out of my bad choices. Now, if you don't agree with these five ideas—that's just fine. But that's the way I see it. John G. Miller Author of ... ‘QBQ! The Question Behind the Question®’, ‘Flipping the Switch ... Unleash the Power of Personal Accountability’, ‘Outstanding! 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional’, http://www.qbq.com/ Denver, Colorado, USA 303-286-9900 John@QBQ.com

Very Punny A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog’s cross-eyed; is there anything you can do for him? “ “Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says “I’m sorry, but I'm going to have to put him down.” “What? Because he’s cross-eyed?” wails the owner. “No, because he’s really heavy!”

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Marveling At The Moon On June 16, 1963, Colonel-Engineer Valentina Vladimirovna Tereshkova was a Soviet cosmonaut and the first woman in space. Sally Ride, astronaut from the United States, became the first American woman in space in 1983. Neil Armstrong, astronaut for the United States, became the first person to walk on the moon. His moon walk took place on July 20, 1969. He traveled to the moon aboard Apollo 11.

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Sergei Kirkalyov, cosmonaut from the Soviet Union, has spent the most time in space. He was aboard the space station for 2 years and 73 days. Sudoku Solution

Crossword Solution

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Census Conundrum The Problem: A census taker approaches a house and asks the woman who answers the door, ”How many children do you have, and what are their ages?” Woman: “I have three children, the product of their ages are 36, the sum of their ages are equal to the address of the house next door.” The census taker walks next door, comes back and says, “I need more information.” The woman replies, “I have to go, my oldest child is sleeping upstairs.” Census taker: “Thank you, I now have everything I need.” What are the ages of each of the three children? The Solution: The reason the census taker could not figure out the children’s ages is because, even with knowing the number on the house next door, there were still two possibilities. The only way that the product could be 36 and still leave two possibilities is if the sum equals 13. These possibilities being 9, 2 and 2 or 6, 6 and 1. When the home owner stated that her “Oldest” child is sleeping she was giving the census taker the fact that there is an “oldest.” The children’s ages are therefore 9, 2 and 2.

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Empowering Thoughts Relaxation means releasing all concern and tension and letting the natural order of life flow through one’s being. ~ Donald Curtis Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. ~ Natalie Goldberg

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Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s Edition

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Necessary Operation A surgeon examined a new patient most carefully. After studying the x-rays and the charts, he turned to the man and said, “Could you pay for an operation if I told you it was necessary?” The patient thought for a moment, then said to the doctor, “Would you find one necessary if I told you I couldn’t pay for it?”

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I pay very little regard to what any young person says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they have not yet seen the right person. ~ Jane Austen

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Issue 23

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Sitting Next To A Parrot

If you can't be kind, at least be vague.

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On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a juice ugly lady!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a juice for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another juice you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another a juice for the parrot and forgets the coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you". The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

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