Diving into the Whirlpools of Gender Identity

In my mind, I have always viewed the transient contrasts of my gender identity as being similar to aquatic waves of movement in a vibrant ocean. Just like the ocean, it can be terrifying to go through, and it has personally provided me with innumerable griev ances regarding my body image and overall appearance. I’ve come to acknowledge that denial is your own personal purgatory, and accepting the emotional currents is the key to navigating gender confusion.

Gender Dysphoria

Waves crashing into your skull, flooding your thoughts with uncertainty, threatening to perish your towers of assurance in plentiful ways. To those who have never ex perienced this harrowing feeling, gender dysphoria is a term used to describe the intense feelings of unease a person may feel due to a lost sense of belonging in regards to their biological sex and gender identity. The vigor of the dysphoric mind configures anxieties into the irrevocable pull, like a tsunami — suddenly simple questions regarding your pronouns become internal landslides of uncertainty. Despite the panic they instill, these internal natural disasters that arise communicate to us their demand for change. The waves of dysphoria alert us of the uncertain alignment from within that must be resolved in order to attain tranquil shores.

sured in one’s biological sex, gender identity or expression. The sweet essence of gender euphoria feels as though it directly emerges from the pool of certainty and cascades onto your fingertips, like the rejuvenat ing sting of a cold waterfall you have searched long to find. Whether the euphoric spirit is provoked from a fitting gender expression or

by NATALIE SCHMITT art by ELENA WILLOUGHBY layout by JOCELYN VISNOV

correct usage of pronouns, it’s feeling so ethereal and enchanting, one may ponder how they had ever lived any differently. Or perhaps there had never even been doubts of gender identity before, but now somehow there’s a sense of infatuation embedded in the possibility of a different identification. The waterfall of gender euphoria quenches the thirst of belonging. Even though it can be frightening to embrace and step into, it will only make you feel cold for a moment. The clarity can last lifelong. Once you learn to accept the emotions the euphoric water grants you, you will learn from it sublime peace and pride.

Similar to the everchanging variants of water, the journey of our gender identity can feel incredibly destructive. Establishing an internal sense of comfort with our own gender identity can at times be difficult in a world where our pronouns are constantly being put on display. Despite the importance of pronouns to the queer community, it is also imperative to recognize the pressure it can produce for those who may still find themselves drowning in their own confusion. It’s completely rational that someone’s own identification can not yet be diluted into one distinct label or pronoun. Those who have become victorious in establishing their iden tity and those who are still paddling their way through rough waters both deserve our utmost miration. We must continue to push forward in the hopes of creating a community where all can feel comfortable and accepted sharing their truths with one another. No one should ever feel forced to mask their confusion in fear of others’ judgment. It’s the differences we’re all granted that lend us each our own magnificent variety. In that variety, we can uncover genuine love for our bodies, despite their sporadic betrayals.