who does a prayer go to?

by JAYDA-LYNN GRULLON

art by VICTORIA LANG

layout by IVY JAEP

In November of 2004, I was born to two Christian parents who came from families deeply devoted to God. Whether it be one’s Presbyterian upbringing or the other’s Baptist background, the testimony of the bible was embedded in my fate. As I grew older, God grew with me. It was inevitable that every aspect of my life was surrounded by this God, given what I had been told. And with all of that, I had to live without question(s) of this higher figure that supposedly loved and protected my family and I.

Up until my junior year of high school I had stuck with my family’s Presbyterian values and compelled myself into believing those were my own morals. Every Sunday morning I went to church, I prayed before eating every meal and especially thanked this God for providing it. There came a point where I had turned to God during the progression of my great-grandmother’s dementia hoping he would heal her from pain.

Come junior year, my life is struck with all things that can go wrong for a girl that had previously lived her life in a bubble of happiness. I felt detached… sad, lonely, unheard, unseen. This was when I had officially let go of the beliefs because there was no God I believed in or religion I belonged to. There were countless nights I spent crying on the floor of my room wondering why my prayers were being ignored.

How I had supported him all seventeen years of my life and he couldn’t heal my heart from the aching it acquired? After attempting to turn to this God to fix a pain I had never felt before, I had a realization that I have never seen nor spoken to him. I was talking to absolutely nothing, but the molecules of my air. Who is my prayer going to?

Moving from a small town to a state of endless opportunity brought about a beautiful growth– it was like an out of body experience. Deciding to attend

Manhattan College, a Catholic institution, went against everything I tried escaping, but ended up leading me to find myself. A beginner’s religion class was required along with a visit to a Buddhist sanctuary– I was drawn to the Temple of Enlightenment. This was the start to my journey of spirituality and the teachings of Buddhism.

The more I studied Buddhism, the more I learned it went beyond what I had previously known. It wasn’t about basing my entire life around serving a higher figure, but rather about intentions and how you treat those around you. Letting go of negativity and living life in each moment because time is impermanent.

Meditation is one of the main holistic practices of Buddhism. I began to absorb ten minute meditations into my night routine and soon after, it became more than a practice to me. My perspective on life progressively shifted from being something I have to live in everyday to grateful for each day I was able to live in. It was time to take things to the next step. In the path of spiritual divinity the power of crystals, tarot cards and manifestation started to become familiar to me. Gradually my soul healed and I repaired the relationship of my mind and body. Slowly, these practices aided their way into other’s lives allowing peers alike to transform their relationships with themselves.

John Paul DiVanna, a senior mechanical engineering major at Manhattan College, recounted his experience with holistic practices and the effects it had on his lifestyle. His journey began with entering a crystal shop in the city– from there it merged into his daily routine and drew him to other curiosities, such as tarot and manifesting. DiVanna identifies as a Catholic that goes beyond the boundaries of his religion through his spirituality.

Manifestation is setting a goal, by believing in yourself with an optimistic mindset, so the Universe can make these ideas tangible. John Paul DiVanna uses manifesting in various aspects of his daily life for the betterment of himself.

“Manifest[ing] with a crystal to set the intention I want and usually carry it around with me for a long time… I believe that I’m speaking that into my life and the universe is going to have that set for me.” The methods of holistic practices have been beneficial to DiVanna in times of need. ““[Spirituality] kind of gives me like hope, I would say, like faith,” DiVanna said. “I can believe that something’s going to happen… and [be] more aware of my intentions in life.”

DiVanna’s livelihood has seen gradual change through his incorporation of holistic practices in his daily life. He mentioned that he will continue his journey of spirituality and the Buddhist teachings accompanying it because their effects brought him fulfillment.

Makenzie Swift, a freshman communications major at Manhattan College, began incorporating buddhist teachings in her life as a child, thanks to her mother who guided her in divination, or the way of the Dharma. She has adopted mindfulness in her meditation claiming it has had a major impact on her life.

“It has benefited me a lot,” Swift said. “I have been through hard times… And having mindfulness has helped me accept that things are going to change which is part of life… you’re going to continuously grow and change throughout your life.”

She also detailed her understanding of tarot cards and how she uses the results of her readings to give a clearer outlook on life as her own guidance. DiVanna and Swift’s beliefs have been valuable to their lifestyle– they believe in the powers of the universe, straying from traditional approaches despite their different backgrounds, as their faith.

Buddhism has been more than something for me to be a part of; it has taught me that I don’t need to abide by customary religions to have hope for something greater. Believing in myself and the greater good of those around me as a way to reach my own liberation, is the only strength I need to keep going. Christian and Catholic prayers go to God the Father. Hindu prayers go to Vishnu. Muslim prayers go to Allah. But, my prayers go to the Universe.