THE DANGERS OF GRINDR

CHRIS

HUTTO

Like many adolescent gay men, we went looking for queer connections in the easiest way we knew, and thought it would be rewarding. However, this is not the vision we were met with. Predatory behavior and stereotyping is what we found. Not only do we have to confine ourselves into these categories of sex positions or body types, the men we are trying to appeal to may not even be telling the truth about themselves, leading to dangerous situations.

“I do find it that those questions end up shaping how we think … so I need to fit into those categories,” Marinaccio said.

Grindr is also drastically different from heteronormative dating apps Tinder and Bumble, not only because you can start communicating with users without a match system, but because users are not required to use profile pictures. You could be talking to someone on the app without even knowing what they look like, making it extremely easy to get catfished. As with cyberbullying, anonymity gives people confidence which can result in negative behavior such as predation. Grindr does not require you to display your age, nor verify it. Consequently, young people are able to use the app before they turn 18.

Billy Walker, a sophomore at MC, has been in a situation of this caliber.

Chris Justin

When creating a profile, the app has several prompts–all optional–to advertise yourself to the community. The prompts include HIV status, age, height, weight, location distance, nickname, sex position, ethnicity and where you would like to meet each other. You can instantly start chatting with anyone using the app based on location — there is no swiping like Tinder. Nevertheless, none of the information is verified by the company. Users can lie about their HIV status or age to take advantage of individuals they deem susceptible. Since anything stated on profiles can be fabricated, Grindr creates an atmosphere of untrustworthiness that allows for predatory behavior and sexualization to happen.

Ijoined Grindr a month before my eighteenth birthday, knowing that gay men use the app to hook up. My first impression was that men do not like people on the heavier side, as I would always see profiles with “no fats or fems” in their description. As someone of a heavier size that also identifies as more feminine, I immediately felt intimidated and not good enough to get into the devil’s tango, even though like many queer men, I saw Grindr as the only gay hookup app.

Ijoined Grindr for the first time shortly after a breakup and learned more about how sexual gay culture can be behind faceless online accounts. The app is a slew of gray profiles looking back at you, because profile photos aren’t required. Instead of swiping, anyone in the immediate vicinity is able to view a profile and message them, anonymously even. In my smaller hometown in upstate New York, the app is ridden with older men claiming they need “college meat” or “women with a penis,” often frightening young adults like myself to the realities of gay hookup culture.

Advertised as the “The world’s largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans, and queer people,” Grindr appears to be a welcoming place to meet other individuals nearby. This forms a misconception that queer adolescents must flock to the app when they reach adulthood instead of other outlets. Professor and advisor to the Rainbow Jaspers, Manhattan College’s LGBTQ+ student organization, Rocco Marinaccio, Ph.D. says that “very often, men below the age of consent, and who are also perhaps lacking the emotional maturity to have sex are frequently thrown on Grindr, because it’s the only thing that they can possibly think of to meet other gay people.”

While Grindr is a great resource to meet other queer individuals, it may distort their perception of the queer community. The app pushes users into categories based on their sexual preferences, such as “top” and “bottom.” Putting oneself into a box sexually makes you think that you are not able to experiment or try new things — you have to confine yourself to the expectations based on the traits you advertise on your profile. For example, if you advertise yourself as feminine, people assume you are a bottom and are more submissive, so you get conditioned that that is what guys want, and feel like you have to do that. Marinaccio explained that the app allows for the idea that gay sex only looks a certain way.

“I once met someone who was like 17 and they told me that after they added me on Snapchat. I was like, ‘I’m not hanging out with you’... so I wish there was some way to confirm [users’ ages],” Walker, who was over the age of eighteen at the time, said.

The unverified aspect of Grindr also proves dangerous with listing HIV status. There have been incidents where men on “Grindr” have purposefully infected other users without them knowing. According to the National Library of Medicine, it is a kink called “stealthing.” In a case reported by NBC San Diego, a man bragged to his friends that he intentionally infected his Grindr hookups with HIV.

The queer community already faces stereotyping and discrimination from heteronormative society, a discrimination that draws the community closer together. The format of Grindr is inherently problematic because it perpetuates the stereotypes that queer people are trying to escape, a problem that pulls the community apart. By creating an environment where predatory behavior is enabled, it sustains the negative “predatory” perception that outsiders already have of the community. To unlearn the stereotypes that society has put onto the queer community, Grindr needs to stop hyperfocusing on categories that enable stereotypes such as “top” or “bottom” and establish an atmosphere that uplifts the community, one that has verification involved. While apps formatted like Grindr are progressive in creating a social atmosphere for the community, it is not progressive in helping them escape heteronormative ways of thinking.