Learning to Embrace My Femininity:Everything I ve Learned about Myself Through Rom Coms

by KELLY KENNEDY layout by ADRIANNE HUTTO

As women, much of our value is placed on our appearance. The idea of who we are is often shaped by what we look like. We’ve all heard that blondes have more fun and that glasses make you nerdy.

These stereotypes often put us into boxes. But no one person can fit into just one box, right? What happens when you check more than one box? When you’re fashionable but also good at math, or bubbly and bright, or love to go out with friends but also studious? We so often fight just to be taken seriously because of our gender, and having a personality perceived as feminine makes it all the more difficult.

Throughout my life, this has been an internal battle of wanting to be football so guys won’t look at me and because I’m more interested in A battle of spending hours sional outfit for that sonality wouldn’t show through thinking it’s compliment guy says he’s impressed “not like other girls.” used to always being surprised: when my academic raises his brows cause my GPA is higher than he expected, when the loud boy in the class that never does the reading is surprised that I got a higher grade on the midterm, when that finance major at the bar asks “Don’t you have to smart for that?” after making conversation about what I want to do after college.

Because favorite color is pink, or I dye my hair or spend my time reading Vogue that makes me less? It’s no coincidence that activities and interests perceived as feminine are those often looked down upon.

When did being not like other girls become a compliment? When did we learn to suppress femininity to be taken seriously?

The media has often perpetuated these stereotypes, by casting bubbly blondes into the roles of the dumb cheerleader, and putting glasses on a supermodel to transform her into the misunderstood geek.

The only area of media where I have ever really seen femininity and intellect go hand in hand is in every man’s least favorite movie category — the romantic comedy.

Growing up these movies were everything to me. From their style to their jobs, all I wanted was to be the girls in these movies.

People are often so focused on the romantic plot lines of these movies and the “girly”-ness of them that we often overlook the way the women protagonists are portrayed. These women, while falling in love, are often strong and successful all on their own.

Elle Woods taught me to not let other people’s perceptions of me stop me from pursuing my dreams. Jenna Rink taught me to enjoy the present and not to be in a rush to grow up. Samantha Jones taught me to love myself first. Andie Anderson taught me to follow my heart.

Many dislike rom-coms because they see it as an unserious movie genre for boy-crazy girls. But when I watch these movies and when I look at these women, I have always seen my own struggle within the subplot of the movie. The bright, fun girl who also has an amazing job that she has worked hard for and a life she has built for herself. But that is not the center of the plot, instead their whole personalities have been structured around their love interests. And when we watch it’s the only thing we see, and not the incredible lives they’ve built for themselves.

These movies have shown me more than just a light laugh and a silly romantic plotline to pass the time. They’ve shown me that all aspects of femininity are not only acceptable, but appreciated. I was able to see that it’s not only okay to be who I am, but it’s what makes me and so many other girls shine.

LOTUS MAGAZINE | issue no. 12 pg 20

These stereotypes often put us into boxes. But no one person can fit into just one box, right? What happens when you check more than one box. When you’re fashionable but also good at math, or bubbly and bright, or love to go out with friends but also studious? We so often are fighting just to be taken seriously because of our gender, and having a personality percieved as feminine makes it all the more difficult.

Throughout my life, this has been an internal battle. Of wanting to be cool so pretending to like football so guys won’t look at me and think I’m dumb because I’m more interested in other things. Of spending hours trying to make the perfect outfit for that interview so that my personality wouldn’t show through my clothes. Of thinking its a compliment when a guy says he’s impressed that I’m “not like other girls.

I got used to people being always being surprised. When my academic advisor raises his eyebrows because my GPA is higher than he expected. When the loud boy in the class that never does the reading is surprised that I got a higher grade on the midterm. When that finance guy at the bar asks “don’t you have to smart for that? after making conversation about what I want to do after college.

Because my favorite color is pink, or I dye my hair or spend my time reading Vogue that what, makes me less? It’s no coincidence that activities and interests perceived as feminine are those often looked down upon.

These can fit check good with just ing a more tle. so guys I’m ing to my personality thinking that

When GPA class a higher the bar can more math, or stubecause feminine battle. Of won’t interested perfect wouldn’t show guy

When that grade on you what spend coinare

Styled By Megan Lacreta

Nicole Fitzsimmons Kelly Kennedy

Photography By

ANNA MACIOLEK

These stereotypes often put us into boxes. But no one person can fit into just one box, right? What happens when you check more than one box. When you’re fashionable but also good at math, or bubbly and bright, or love to go out with friends but also studious? We so often are fighting just to be taken seriously because of our gender, and hav ing a personality percieved as feminine makes it all the more difficult.

Throughout my life, this has been an internal bat tle. Of wanting to be cool so pretending to like football so guys won’t look at me and think I’m dumb because I’m more interested in other things. Of spending hours try ing to make the perfect outfit for that interview so that my personality wouldn’t show through my clothes. Of thinking its a compliment when a guy says he’s impressed that I’m “not like other girls.

I got used to people being always being surprised. When my academic advisor raises his eyebrows because my GPA is higher than he expected. When the loud boy in the class that never does the reading is surprised that I got a higher grade on the midterm. When that finance guy at the bar asks “don’t you have to smart for that?’ after

Models

NICOLE HORMANN

SHAY ROTH

BRIANNA GEROLD

CASSANDRA MONTGOMERY

SOPHIE

KHOSROWSHAHI