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“He snapped. He stabbed her 55 times in her apartment.”








Men victims of dating violence, too Women have been coming forward and speaking out about their experiences with dating violence, domestic violence and sexual assault, harassment and abuse, in large numbers especially since the Harvey Weinstein scandal and the #MeToo movement. Forty-three percent of college women who date reported experiencing dating violence, according to Break the Cycle. One in three women between the ages of 18-34 has been sexually harassed at work, according to a survey of 2,235 full-time and part-time female employees. More than one in 10 students have experienced rape or sexual assault through physical force, violence or incapacitation, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. Domestic violence, dating violence and sexual assault are the silent epidemics harming women attending colleges and universities across our country, but female students are not the only ones affected by this issue.

Females aren’t even the only people affected by these issues. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, nearly three in 10 women and one in 10 men in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence or stalking by a partner. Men are the victims of dating violence as well and they need to be taken seriously. Male advocates combating dating violence, domestic violence and sexual assault preach that men need to be a part of the conversation because they are a part of the problem. In symposiums and articles, we are often told that most men be involved in these issues because they are a cause and they must learn how to be better men. Men should not just care about these issues because they love their mothers, sisters and friend— though that is another reason to care. Men should be involved because they are personally affected by this issues, too. One in 10 men have experienced physical or sexual assault by partner.

One in four men have experienced any type of dating or domestic violence, according to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. That amounts to millions of men who have been battered by a partner— millions of men to which we are not listening. When men are emotionally abused, they are told to man-up. When they are sexually taken advantage of, people cannot believe that the man did not want it; doubters wonder why the man was not able to throw the woman off. Taking a stance against dating violence, domestic violence and sexual assault means more than standing with the women. It means believing, supporting and standing with men. Dating violence is a serious issue, so why are we ignoring the gender that comprises 40 percent of all instances of violence by a partner, as reported in the Centers for Disease Control and Department of Justice’s 2010 national survey.


MISSION The Loquitur student newspaper and website are integral parts of the educational mission of the Cabrini communication department, namely, to educate students to take their places in the public media. Loquitur Media provides a forum of free expression. All members of the univeristy community may submit work to the editors for possible inclusion. Publication is based on the editorial decision of the student editors. ERIC STONE / LIFESTYLES EDTOR

An open letter to my abuser SOPHOMORE FEMALE Student Submission

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR The Loquitur accepts letters to the editors. They should be less than 500 words, usually in response to a current issue on Cabrini University’s campus or community area and are printed as space permits. Name, phone number and address should be included with submissions for verification purposes. All letters to the editors must be e-mailed to loquitur@

An open letter to my abuser, I will never able to talk to you again or look at you without wanting to cry and vomit or feeling like someone who is not worthy of life. What you did to me made what little self-esteem I had disappear. I felt like someone who did not deserve love— someone that was nothing more than an object to be used. I felt dirty and unwanted. I had suicidal thoughts and the only reason I did not follow through is because I thought of three reasons that made life worth living:

More often than not, when experiencing such thoughts, I would think of the Philadelphia Flyers, the team I love dearly, and could not imagine dying before seeing them win a Stanley Cup Final. I would also start instinctively listening to my favorite band, which would remind me that everything would be fine. I would also remember that death was a permanent solution that would allow you to win. You took not only my trust in you, but you made me uncomfortable around men and uncomfortable being alone with men. You took me and ripped me to shreds. You stomped on me; destroyed me. You took Cabrini,

my home, and made it one of the most unsafe places for me. I feel uncomfortable walking alone from my dorm to the rest of campus and vice versa. You isolated me and made me paranoid. But your time is up. I am clawing my way back and will not let you win. You do not get to win; you do not have any power. You thought you could take advantage of the fact that I cared about you and trusted you, but you do not respect me or care about me. You never did. You thought my body was in existence for your pleasure and when I reminded you it was not, you could not handle it. So, you tried to destroy me by trying to reinsert your power.

I want you to know that what you did is not something that has just mental effects on your victim. The only reason you are able to continue your education and have very little consequences is because I did not go to the police. What you did is a crime. You are a criminal. You deserve the same treatment as every other convicted abuser in this world– to be put behind bars or worse. Never forget that.




Abuse survivors educate for prevention BY ARIANA YAMASAKI Assistant Perspectives Editor

Imagine having fun with your dad one minute and the next minute he has you pinned against the wall with his hands around your neck. This happened to Wayne Stricker when he was five years old. Stricker is a 16-year-old survivor of emotional, physical and sexual abuse. As a child, his dad would abuse him and his mother, Gina Stricker. Wayne’s mother was beaten with such intensity by his father that she lost a piece of her skull and he broke both her neck and her back. “We are really walking miracles,” Gina Stricker said to the audience at the Educators Back on Campus event. Being a survivor of an abusive relationship is a blessing. This is not the case for every family. Not everyone is able to leave abusive relationships alive. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), nearly three-fourths of all murder-suicides happen among young couples. One person who did not get as lucky as Wayne Stricker and his mother was Kristen Mitchell. Mitchell’s life was taken on June 4, 2005, by her abuser. A couple weeks before her murder, she graduated from Saint Joseph’s University on May 14. Her graduation was the first time her parents met her boyfriend and abuser of four months. Mitchell’s father, Bill Mitchell, said he had an unsettling feeling about his daughter’s boyfriend, but he just brushed it off. Mitchell’s abuse was not physical or sexual; it was emotional. Her father said that the most physical thing her boyfriend did to her was when he pinned her up against the wall. By the time Mitchell tried to leave the relationship, it was too late. He snapped. He stabbed her 55 times in her apartment. He waited hours before calling anyone or doing anything to help her. All he wanted from Mitchell was total control and once he realized he had lost all control over her, it was over for the relationship and for Mitchell. After that horrific day, her father wanted to become more educated on domestic violence and break the silence. He shares Kristen Mitchell’s story through Kristin’s Krusade, which is a foundation to help bring awareness to domestic violence. The Strickers and Mitchells were affected first hand by domestic violence, but domestic violence impacts more than the lives of the abuser and victim. The families suffer when domestic violence occurs. Many children especially suffer from it by hearing and seeing how it affects their parents. Akea Pearson’s mother was murdered by her father when Akea was five months old. She did not find out that her mother was murdered by her father until she was eight years old. Pearson recently launched a children’s book, “Mommy, Wake Up,” that attempts to help parents educate their children on domestic violence. The book is told from the eyes of an 8-year-old that witnessed her mother being abused by her stepfather. This book has illustrations that children who cannot read yet can relate to just by looking at the pictures. Pearson is a domestic violence counselor and she uses the book to help her clients. In one situation, her client kept insisting that her 4-year-old daughter did not know what was happening in the house because she was sleeping when everything happened. Pearson let the daughter see

the book, even though she could not read it, and the illustrations related to what she saw and heard at home. The daughter said the illustrations looked like what her dad was doing to her mom. Once the mom heard her daughter say that, she broke into tears. Domestic violence does not just affect the person receiving the abuse, it also affects the children or bystanders too. Five million children witness domestic violence in the United States annually, according to the Childhood Domestic Violence Association. On Monday, Feb. 12, Wayne Stricker, Bill Mitchell and Akea Pearson all presented at the Educators Back on Campus event held by the Center for Children of Trauma and Domestic Violence Education. The event was informational filled with tragic stories about the speakers’ experience with domestic violence. Dr. Colleen Lelli, associate professor of education, is the director of the Center for Children of Trauma and Domestic Violence Education. “The event was held because it is dating violence awareness month and the speakers who came were either children who were affected by dating violence or [individuals who] had a child who was affected by it,” Tommie Wilkins, Violence Against Women on Campus Grant Coordinator, said. Cabrini held this event— and many others sponsored by the Center for Children of Trauma and Domestic Violence Education— because of the prevalence of domestic violence and the fact that it effects individuals of varying

backgrounds. During Mitchell’s talk, he explained that this can happen to anyone. Dating violence can happen to anyone you know. It could be a loved one or it could even be you. Mitchell warned that there are six stages to an abusive relationship: it begins as a fairytale romance, then the abuser attempts to isolate the victim before rolling out threats of violence, and soon actual violence, followed by a convincing apology. Then, the cycle repeats. Becoming educated on the topic of domestic and dating violence is the best way to understand how to deal with the situation. In case a friend, family member or even yourself is in a violent or abusive relationship, it is good to know how to get out so no one gets hurt. At the end of Mitchell’s talk, he mentioned a quote from Winnie the Pooh, which he thinks everyone should remember. Mitchell said, “Promise me you’ll always remember: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” Sophomore education major Diana Whittaker felt that Mitchell and all the speakers covered the topic exceptionally. “The speakers conveyed their stories very professionally and wanted to educate the community on domestic violence and how it needs to be prevented,” Whittaker said. Having speakers come talk to the faculty, staff and students about an issue as important as domestic violence helps break the silence and starts a discussion. “Dating and domestic violence is a topic that is so crucial to our society at the moment and it’s important we learn about young women in relationships,” Stephanie Barringer, a sophomore education major, said. “Having a student who survived living in a violent household while he was growing up helps gives the audience a personal perspective,” Tommie Wilkins, Violence Against Women on Campus, Grant Coordinator, said. Breaking the silence on dating and domestic violence is the first step to educating people on this terrifying but real issue that happens to many people throughout the country. According to NCADV, 20 people per minute are physically abused by a spouse in the United States. In one year, 10 million men and women are affected by domestic abuse.






Some men who were raised with the traditional notions of masculinity feel entitled to female affection and lash out when women turn them down.

Result of male entitlement: Women face aggression when men face rejection Editor’s Note: The Loquitur recognizes that both men and women can be victims of sexual assault, harassment and abuse, but the heterosexual male model of the perpetrator is more common. For this reason, when referring to individuals making unwanted advances, the individual is frequently referred to with the male pronoun. BY CORALINE PETTINE AND LAURA SANSOM Writing Managing Editor and Perspectives Editor

“You’re a stuck-up bitch.” Many women have heard this from significant others, supposed-friends and even strangers in public. The process leading up to this phrase is not unfamiliar to a lot women: a man gives attention to a woman, the woman expresses that she is uninterested in the man and the man immediately turns hostile, calling her a bitch. Dr. Betsy Crane, a professor at Widener University’s Center for Human Sexuality Studies and co-chair of the Widener LGBT Task Force, said men are taught to expect women give them what they want. “A women challenging a man around anything is problematic to some degree,” Crane said. “She can get called a bitch and she can get diminished in various ways.” Women grow up hearing these things, experiencing these situations and being torn down by entitled men from a young age. In 2014, Stop Street Harassment commissioned a 2,000-person national survey in America that found that 65 percent of all women had experienced street harassment. “Some guys, when I turn them down, are like, ‘Oh, I didn’t want you anyway, bitch,’” freshman graphic design major Tiara Colon said. “They don’t take rejection very well.” Additionally, street harassment extends past being insulted. Sometimes, the male response to rejection is as intense as sexual assault or violent behavior. Twenty-three percent of all women had been sexually touched when harassed, 20 percent had been followed and nine percent had been forced to do something sexual, as reported by Stop Street Harassment. According to a study by the British House of Commons Woman and Equalities Committee, 60 percent of women had experienced sexual assault before graduating high school. In a UN study, most sexual crimes recorded in the study occurred when men were between the ages of 15 and 19. Sexual harassment is extremely prevalent as a result of male entitlement. Dr. Mark Kiselica, a  professor of psychology and the founding dean of the School of Humanities and Social Science at Cabrini University, is a national expert on raising boys with positive masculinity. Kiselica explained that men respond aggressively and forcefully to rejection as a result of an upbringing that promoted hyper-masculinity. Kiselica said, “Men who think that women owe them sexually and turn to violence— men who think they’re entitled to sex from women when they don’t want to, when women refuse, the men respond with violence— that is an illustration, in the extreme, of the most constricted notion of masculinity.” Men frequently feel entitled to female affection. When they message a woman, ask out a coworker or compliment a female they see in public, they expect affection in return. When the feelings are not reciprocated, the men often respond with harsh words, sexual advances and even physical attacks.  In 2014, the Santa Barbara Shooter killed six people and injured 13 and in a video blamed the women who refused to love him. In 2015, a woman was punched until she lost consciousness after ignoring the catcalls from a man on her walk home. In 2016, a man stabbed a woman to death on a train for refusing his advances. In November of 2017, a Pennsylvania man viciously murdered his girlfriend after she turned down his marriage proposal. Male entitlement is revealed in a pattern of men lashing out at women who reject them. Men who grow up with negative masculinity feel they are entitled to women because women are objects for them to possess.

Kiselica said, “Men who are raised with very extreme, traditional notions of masculinity are given the message that women are objects.” Negative masculinity such as this comes in the form of, “‘Not only are you going to give me what, when I want it, but if you don’t, I will vanquish you. I will destroy you,’” Kiscelica said. “Men have been largely raised to assume that they have a right to get what they want, especially around sex,” Crane said. This entitlement is exemplified in today’s age by social media, as men have another platform through which to reach women. Men are not just pursuing and harassing women on the street; they are pursuing women online and lashing out through messages. Men now have the ability to message women on social media accounts, saying inappropriate things and sending lewd photos over applications such as Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook Messenger. Men can also use social media to lash out when they do not like the way women are responding to them. “There have been multiple people over the years who have said these things,” junior elementary and special education major Brittany Lambert said. “In middle school, I used to answer them, but they would try to jump into things like dates. Now, I just block them.”  “On some social media, there’s, like, f**k-boys. They’re the ones who tend to get angry,” Colon said. “They message you and tell you they think you’re attractive, but if you reject them, they’re like, ‘You’re ugly, anyway. No one wants your ugly ass.’” Hyper-masculine outbursts caused by rejection can occur at any stage, too. While it is extremely common for strangers and acquaintances to be accosted, verbally assaulted and then sometimes physically or sexually assaulted for rejecting men, girlfriends and wives can also be victims of assault for rejecting their loved ones. “We know that rape occurs in some marriages,” Kiscelica said. “[We know] that there are wives who are severely beaten and then raped by their husbands because the man came home drunk and he wanted sex that night and she didn’t want to.” Additionally, this electric response from men who feel entitled to women can occur when the woman has consented, at least to some extent, but not as much as the man wanted. Kiscelica counseled young women who had been sex workers and heard how clients would lash out when the female would not go as the man wanted. Kiscelica, regarding the sex workers, said, “They would talk about how they might be seeing the men who are seeking their services and she might be only willing to go so far and if she doesn’t, he’s like, ‘You effing b, you’re gonna give it to me. Who do you think you are?’ It’s almost like he looks at her as subhuman, like she has no rights. Like she’s completely there for his pleasure. It’s despicable.” “Consent implies that if I say yes,” Crane said, “then everything you do is okay.” Crane said that teaching men about consent, hyper-masculinity and rejection as well as ensuring women they do not have to be afraid of rejecting someone is the solution. While she feels progress has been made in her lifetime, the end goal is still far off. “Certainly in schools,” Crane said. “I think we’ve made some progress in some places in terms of boys not being treated like they’re special and different. I think all of these social institutions need to be changed. I’ve got no easy answer to, ‘How do we change masculinity?’ It’s a social process. Things have changed for women so much more in the past 40 or 50 years then they have for men. I think we are reluctant to change masculinity because it is, in some ways, the whole basis of capitalism and competition and it’s a part of our social structure. Hence the current president we have now. Exemplar.” COREYPETTINE@GMAIL.COM LAURALEESANSOM@GMAIL.COM




Pop culture perpetuates dating violence BY JUSTIN BARNES Assistant Lifestyles Editor

Pop culture is one of the greatest influencers on people; however, like with all influencers, the result can either be good or bad. There has been an ongoing concern that certain famous heroes in pop culture are blurring the line for sexual consent and potentially provoking dating violence. One such example includes a famous scene from “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.” In this scene, Han Solo, played by Harrison Ford, makes advances towards Princess Leia Organa, played by Carrie Fisher. Despite protests from her, Solo kisses Organa and there are not any repercussions for him throughout the rest of the film or future films. Another example is the ending of “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.” In that scene, Indiana Jones, also played by Ford, uses his whip to grab an angry Willie Scott, played by Kate Capshaw, and yank her back to him before kissing her. While initially resistant, Scott gives in and lets Jones kiss her. Both these scenes, and more throughout films, suggest to the audience that if you ignore rejection and force yourself on an individual, there will be a positive outcome. There is some debate on what the behavior these characters exhibit really says about them. Cabrini sophomore Polly Post feels that it probably means that those characters get way ahead of themselves, and that it is a potential influencer of rape culture. “If men see men doing something on television, they may be motivated to do the same,” Post said. Sophomore education major Alexis O’Toole agrees with Post that movies and television are heavy influencers, since people aspire to be like some of their favorite characters. If a character behaves a certain way, then the person watching may think it is okay and behave similarly. “People look up to actors and want to be just like them,” O’Toole said. “It’s scary to think that their role model could be influencing their judgement on the line of consent.” In addition, O’Toole originally never thought about the definition of sexual consent being obscurred in pop culture, but looking back now, she realized that it is certainly blurred in certain movies. She also feels that other influencers for men understanding consent is in their pride or fear of getting picked on by their friends. “In some instances, the man can feel unmanly if a woman doesn’t want to kiss him or go any farther with him, especially if their buddies are around,” O’Toole said.


When Han Solo kisses Leia Organa for the first time, he does so without her verbal consent; however, she embraces his kiss and the two remain romantically involved throughout the film series. Cabrini’s Violence Against Women on Campus Grant Coordinator Tommie Wilkins has a different take on the matter. She pointed out that everyone is influenced by pop culture, no matter what people say; however, in terms of handling consent, she suggested that parents should discuss it with their kids.


“It needs to be a conversation,” Wilkins said. “If you decide not to take your kids, let’s have a conversation [about] why we’re not going to see this movie.” According to Wilkins, the difference between consent and assault or harassment was never exactly discussed back in the 1980s, which is why people initially thought the scene of Solo kissing Organa was so romantic; however, women are coming out more and expressing how uncomfortable it is when men go further with them without talking it through. Wilkins also brought up that despite media influencing and perpetuating rape culture, regardless of intention,

she feels that the real reason it is included is because of money. What she means is that when movies are made, producers and writers throw such aspects into the movies and it will sell because people want to see it. For example, the “Fifty Shades of Grey” franchise has not done well with critics, but the books and movies are very popular among audiences and have made tons of money. By extension, this also raised the sales of reading tablets, such as Kindles and Nooks, because now people could have any books they would be embarrassed to read in public electronically and no one could tell what they were reading. People enjoy reading these despite the debates about consent after the first film’s release. “In my opinion, ‘Fifty Shades’ wasn’t a good book and the movies aren’t good, but it’s titillating.” Wilkins said. “If I’m doing it to make money, it’s titillating, people are doing it and it’s selling things.” Even if the influence of rape culture is not intended, it is clear that it needs to be discussed further if it is to be avoided in the future. “It’s not reality, but we tend to think that pop culture is reality,” Wilkins said. “So let’s talk about whether that’s cool or not.” JUSTINWANNABARNES@GMAIL.COM

for alledged-assaulter James Franco The Golden Globes this year held an important message this year as actors and actresses wore black to support the Time’s Up movement. BY ARIANA YAMASAKI This past year has been signifcant for standing up Assistant Perspectives Editor for the inequalities in our society. One of the main movements that is being focused on right now is the Time’s Up movement. According to Time’s Up Now, the movement is a unified call for women in the entertainment industry and women everywhere. After big celebrities such as Harvey Weinstein were exposed, many actors, actresses and directors have taken a stance and joined the Time’s Up movement. One of the actors who was wearing a pin in solidarity with the victims of sexual assault and harassment at the Golden Globes was James Franco. A couple days after the awards, five women accused him of sexually inappropriate or exploitive behavior, according to the LA Times. The five women were students of Franco’s Studio 4 or Playhouse West. After the accusations against Franco were revealed, people were shocked. “I am not sure what is true or real surrounding James Franco being accused of sexual harassment. I guess I want to have faith in him, that he wouldn’t be so open about sexual harassment if he was actually guilty of it,” Sarah Ash, senior exercise science major, said. “It makes me sad! I was a fan of James and loved that he was standing with the women to stop this abuse,” Erin Roche, senior human resources major, said. “People had no idea that he was doing this abuse. It goes to show how well power and Hollywood can hide the abuse from the public and friends.” Learning about these accusations had a lot of people talking. One person who was vocal about Franco’s choice to wear the pin to the awards was Scarlett Johansson. This year’s women’s march had many speakers regarding the Time’s Up movement. During Johansson’s speech, she took a moment to ask Franco for the pin back.

“If James Franco is guilty of sexual harassment, then I think it was very appropriate for Scarlett Johansson to ask James for the pin back. I love seeing women stand up like she did,” Ash said. Many think it was empowering that Johansson called out Franco. “I find it empowering that she was able to call him out and speak out against him because that is what the whole movement is about,” sophomore education major Maria Merino said. The Time’s Up movement empowers women to speak up about the injustices that have happened to them. According to Time’s Up, one in three women have been sexually assaulted at work, ages ranging from 18 to 34. Out of those women, 71 percent said they did not report the incidents. Letting women know they can JAY L. CLENDENIN / LOS ANGELES TIMES / TNS speak up instead of being silent is Franco wore a Time’s Up pin to the Golden important. They should not have Globes on Jan. 7, 2017. to live in fear of losing their job. “I am proud to see women of power finally taking a stand for themselves and all women,” Ash said. “I hope to see a day where men are responsible for their actions and where women are no longer afraid to come forward with the harassment or abuse that they have faced.” ARIANAYAMASAKI@GMAIL.COM




I will speak up against sexual assault BY REBECCA TOMPKINS

Staff Writer In the past year, it has felt like nearly every day, a new story of sexual abuse, assault or harassment surfaces on the news.

However, very few of these stories are about recent incidents. More often, you find out that the assault had happened years ago. According to RAINN, every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. This amounts to about 321,500 victims and survivors every year. If this is such a common problem, why aren’t people speaking up? Victims of domestic abuse and dating violence often stay silent because they believe their spouse or partner won’t do it again; however, in reality, the victim is continually abused. Children have also demonstrated a pattern of fear when it comes to speaking out. According to the Center for Family Justice, more than 15 million children witness domestic violence annually in the United States. Some children do not speak up because they are  afraid to tell family or friends due to the fact that the survivor knew the offender and their family might not believe them.

When there are cases such as with big time producer Harvey Weinstein sexually assaulting actresses like Gwyneth Paltrow, Rose McGowan and 80 other actresses and employees, you wonder why no one said anything until recently. But you have to understand the position Weinstein was in and the power he had over these women. Speaking up could have ruined their careers and, given Weinstein’s position, it was likely no one would believe them. Weinstein left the victims to not be heard. It has been shown time and time again that when survivors do speak up, people do not believe them. For instance, when Kesha was sexually assaulted by her producer, the record label would not come forward at first. This was due to the fact it would make the studio look bad for not speaking up earlier, leaving Kesha to fight for her career and reputation. People see the way women like Kesha are treated and decide to stay silent. However, recently on Twitter, people have been using the hashtag #IWillSpeakUp to challenge the culture of staying silent.

This hashtag lets people know that if someone witnesses sexual assault, they will stand up and speak out. This hashtag is especially for men and those who are athletes, actresses, actors or producers. This hashtag emphasizes the importance of knowing that if you see something, you should say something and that you should support the survivor. I know that if I am a victim, see someone else being harassed or am told by someone that they were abused, I will stand with them and speak up. If you see, hear or experience sexual abuse, assault or harassment, you can call the hotline National Sexual Assault hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). You are also able to contact Cabrini’s  Counseling and Psychological Services, Campus Ministry, Health Services,  Title IX Coordinator Susan Rohanna or any trusted professor or adviser.


The way we don’t see it:

Fantasizing the abusive relationship in ‘The Notebook’ BY KELLY BUSH News Editor

Some of the most popular films for romance-enthusiasts are actually exemplary instances of dating violence. Look at the movie “The Notebook.” “The Notebook” is considered one of the most romantic films of all time; however, Noah Calhoun and Allie Hamilton have one of the most abusive, destructive and unhealthy relationships in pop culture. In “The Notebook,” Calhoun gets his first date by threatening to kill himself. After Hamilton turns down his request for a date, he says, “Alright, well, you leave me no other choice then,” and proceeds to release one hand, thus dangling himself from the ferris wheel. He hangs there until Hamilton not only agrees but begs Calhoun to go on a date with her. That is the first sign. Through the whole relationship, they emotionally abused each other. Yes, there was love, but there were more arguments, degrading behavior and neglect. Hamilton constantly pushed Calhoun during arguments and he said derogatory words to her.

These little fights were all signs of an abusive relationship. In addition to the fighting and the suicide threat, Calhoun’s behavior was borderline stalking when he discovered Hamiltion was dating another man. So before we say we love “The Notebook,” we need to look at the characters and what they did not see in each other: abusive behavior. “The Notebook” is not a romantic film. It is a tragic one about a toxic couple. As you are watching this film and others, I encourage you to look out for these signs of dating violence and try to look at the movies differently. Does the individual: • feel afraid of his or her partner often? • avoid certain topics out of fear of angering his or herpartner? • need to constantly be in contact with his or her partner? • feel that he or she cannot do anything right for his or her partner? • believe that he or she deserved to be hurt or mistreated for any reason? • feel emotionally numb or helpless?

Does the partner: • isolate the individual from loved ones? • humiliate or yell at the individual? • criticize or put down the individual? • treat the indivual so badly that he or she is embarrassed for his or her friends or family to see? • ignore or put down the individual’s opinions or accomplishments? • blame the individual for the abusive behavior?


domestic violence in the NFL BY ASHLEY MOORE Staff Writer

In the fall of 2014, headlines about domestic violence and sexual assault began to dominate all news stations around the world, bringing with them unprecedented attention and vital conversation around these critical issues. Soon after, in an expansion of an ongoing partnership with NO MORE, the NFL began airing the original NO MORE celebrity public service announcements during game-day broadcasts and in stadiums.

Then came a groundbreaking opportunity to involve players in sharing this important message of standing up and speaking out to say “No more” to domestic violence and sexual assault. Over two dozen former and current NFL players took part in this campaign. Although the NFL released multiple videos that were very dramatic and in tune with the issue, there have been times where the NFL has seemed to continue to look the other way about instances regarding domestic violence in football.

Players accused of domestic violence have repeatedly received weaker punishment than players suspected of far-lesser crimes. Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon was suspended for a full season for failing a marijuana test, while Ray Rice, the Baltimore Ravens running back was only suspended for the first two games of the 2014 season after video surfaced of him in an altercation with his wife that soon turned physical in an Atlantic City Hotel. First-time offenders, such as Rice, typically are suspended a month or less by the NFL. In the past three years, only 12 players have received more than four-game suspensions and all were repeat offenders. This could mean that if Rice was to become a repeat offender, he could still be serving less suspension time than Josh Gordon.

In early November, the hashtag #Metoo went viral on most social media platforms when the rumors broke of Harvey Weinstein’s sexual harassment allegations. Twitter reported that 1.7 million women and men in 87 different countries used the hashtag. Both #MeToo and NO MORE has brought light to the issues of sexual harassment and domestic violence all over the world. The videos from NO MORE that were posted from the partnership with the NFL emphasize things like “‘No more’ she was asking for it’” and “‘No more’ she was wearing what?” The NFL’s partnership with NO MORE is a step in the right direction for combating the way the NFL turns a blind eye at domestic violence. ASHLEYLMOORE99@GMAIL.COM




Sports Source Editorial Column

Athletes need to continue to use platform for social justice advocacy BY JOHN WILLIAMS Sports Editor

Fox News’ Laura Ingraham was very clear and concise about how she feels when athletes use their platforms to make political statements. On her show, “The Ingraham Angle,” Ingraham bashed athletes like LeBron James, saying that she didn’t care to hear the political opinions of “someone who gets paid $100 million a year to bounce a ball.” She went on to say that James should “shut up and dribble.” Over the past year and a half, it seems like athletes and politics have been almost interconnected and intertwined. It is understandable that some people do not want political statements involved during the games. After all, a lot of folks use sports as a three-hour escape from life and do not want to be reminded of the problems going on in the real world. But when the games are over, it is extremely important that athletes use their platforms to speak out on issues we have in society. In 2017, the NBA Finals received an average of 20.4 million views per game and regular season NFL games garnered 16.5 million viewers on average in 2016. While not every player is going to go out and express political opinion and rhetoric, the ones who are more well informed— such as  James, his former teammate Dwayne Wade, Kevin Durant in the NBA and NFL players such as Chris Long, Lane Johnson and a number of other Philadelphia Eagles stars, just to name a few— have and need to continue. NFL cornerback William Gay and MLB executive  Joe Torre are both active in spreading awareness and combating domestic violence. Because the likelihood that they are reaching an audience that traditional media is not is huge. They present positive role models for young kids and will likely influence them to be better people. The different sports leagues are also trying to play their part in making the world a better place. The NBA has a social justice initiative called “NBA Cares” which is “the league’s global social responsibility program that builds on the NBA’s mission of addressing important social issues.” To that end, February is “hockey is for every one month” in the NHL, a month where the league “uses the game of hockey—  and the League’s global influence— to drive positive social change and foster more inclusive communities.” We live in a polarizing climate, politically speaking, and these athletes are trying to be a solution to our problems. JAWILLIAMS1224@GMAIL.COM


Cabrini’s women’s lacrosse team is prioritizing dating violence awareness by attending on-campus events addressing the issue.

Aggression encouraged in sports

Lacrosse team becomes educated towards dating, domestic violence BY BRIELLE TOFF Assistant News Editor

With the prevalence of dating violence among athletes, coaches are recognizing and fulfilling the need to discuss this issue with their student-athletes. Since February is Dating Violence Awareness Month, organizations across Cabrini University’s campus have been finding ways to become more receptive towards dating violence, domestic violence and assault. The Cabrini University Social Work Department presented a viewing and discussion of the film “Answering the Call to Service: The Mark Hudson Story,” on Thursday, Feb. 22. The event was open to the entire campus community and the public for anyone interested in attending; however,  Cabrini University’s Women’s Lacrosse Coach Jackie Neary  highly encouraged the lacrosse players to attend the event.

Dating violence prevalent among college athletes Coach Neary stressed that her team needed to attend this informative screening. Neary is justified in her concern for her players. On May 3, 2010, the University of Virginia’s women lacrosse team lost one of their own to dating abuse and violence. Yeardly Reynolds Love  was beaten to death by her boyfriend,  George Wesley Huguely V, a men’s lacrosse player at UVA. The two were broken up and Huguely drunkenly went into Love’s room, shook her and repeatedly hit her head into the wall. Huguely was charged with first degree murder. It is important that athletes become aware of the signs of dating violence because college athletes are at a high risk of experiencing mental or emotional abuse and physical or sexual assault from a partner. Violent sports and dating abuse have been linked among college athletes. Dating violence is just as prevalent as sexual assault among college students. One in five students has  experienced dating violence, according to the University of Michigan. College athletes are one of the demographics most likely to commit dating violence, so other athletes and those that


Yeardly Love was brutally beaten to death at the hands of her boyfreind in May 2010. interact with athletes are more vulnerable to experiencing dating violence. Males often become dating violence perpetrators because of being exposed to traditional masculine  roles and developing aggressive or violent tendencies. This aggressive or violent behavior is even more common among male athletes. Research has shown that men who participate in organized sports exhibit more aggressive behaviors, in both athletic and non-athletic contexts, according to the  US National Library of Medicine and  National Institutes of Health. Additionally, athletes are conditioned to believe aggressive behavior is good. Coaches and sports in general are also known to encourage a win-at-all-costs mentality and a positive outlook on aggression, as reported in “Psychology of Men and Masculinity.” This reward system enhances the aggressive, hyper-masculine behavior of male athletes and leads to increased violence outside of the athletic context. Along with agressive and violent behavior, locker-room talks enforces the concept that male athletes are entitled to and expected to receive female affection.

Why is this event important to Cabrini athletes Cabrini University’s women’s lacrosse team attended the event to learn more about Mark Hudson and his personal experiences with dating and domestic violence.

Senior captain Megan McLoughlin has understood from the start how important it is for her and the rest of her team to be educated on dating and domestic violence. “It’s important for our team to be educated on dating and domestic violence because this could happen to any one of us. It’s not something that should be overlooked,” McLoughlin said. “Someone could be encountering domestic violence right now but not even know it. This event can be eye opening for our whole team and could teach us how to prevent it [dating and domestic violence] in the future.” McLoughlin is not the only member of the lacrosse team who feels attending the event is important. She has a strong support system behind her on her team to back her up with that. Another senior captain, Jacqueline Neary, could not agree more with her teammate. “I think it’s important for us to attend this event as young females, who need to be more educated on the issue of dating and domestic violence,” Jacqueline Neary said. With one in five students, on average, experiencing abuse at the hands of a partner, it is probable that more than a couple of Neary’s teammates have or will be involved with dating violence. CONTINUE READING ONLINE





NFL’s history of inadequate discipline reveals lack of concern for domestic violence BY EMILY MILLER Assistant Lifestyles Editor

Football is regarded as a classic American pastime and is beloved by millions of fans. Over the years, an epidemic has spread around the football universe, and it has been oddly specific and reoccurring. Domestic violence is classified as violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically among spouses or partners. Domestic violence can be emotional, mental, sexual and physical. In recent years, it has been revealed that not only is domestic violence prevalent within the NFL but that the NFL’s lack of punishment suggests the NFL does not have a problem with domestic violence. These crimes have been committed as recently as this year. Just a few domestic violence abusers and suspects in the NFL include former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice, former Denver Broncos running back  Montee Ball, and former Kansas City Chiefs defensive tackle Roy Miller, just to name a few. Football fanatic Mike Doyle, a junior secondary education history major at Cabrini, thinks the NFL should develop a system for dealing with domestic abuse and stand by it. “I feel like the NFL is really soft and inconsistent on how they handle these cases,” Doyle said. “I wish they would come up with a harsh blanket penalty for everyone and enforce it.” On Aug. 18 of 2017, Michael Bowie was accused of grabbing his girlfriend by the neck and violently throwing her on the ground in Tulsa, Okla. Bowie, a member of the New York Giants at the time, turned himself in after a warrant was issued, according to Tulsa County jail records, but soon posted bond and was released. He was, however, waived by the Giants after his warrant was issued. The outcome of the charges against Bowie were not yet determined. Alternatively, Tramaine Brock was accused of punching and strangling his girlfriend in California. After

he was bailed out by the 49ers, the charges were dropped due to insignificant evidence, despite the woman having visible trauma to her face. He continued to play for the 49ers and subsequently, the Minnesota Vikings. Ray Rice, who was filmed striking his wife at an Atlantic City casino, initially received a two-game suspension followed by a short-lived indefinite suspension. Though the NFL lifted his suspension, the Ravens released him from their team back in 2014 and he has not played in the league since.

The most recent case of domestic violence occurred with Foster, who was arrested on Feb. 11, suspected of domestic violence, possessing an assault rifle and making criminal threats.

“I feel like the NFL is really soft and inconsistent on how they handle these cases.” MIKE DOYLE


Avid football fan Johnny Myers, a junior writing major with a minor in theatre at Cabrini, feels that, while the team made the right call with releasing Rice, the league should have done more. “I think the Ravens took appropriate action in cutting him from the team,” Myers said. “As for the NFL, I think they were wrong in lifting his suspension. Domestic violence is a serious issue that shouldn’t be taken lightly.” The NFL has a track record of very lightly investigating and punishing players suspected of domestic and dating violence.

Myers predicts this will impact Foster’s career. “I think Reuben Foster will be released by the 49ers and [will face suspension],” Myers said. “If his tentative suspension is lifted, I think he will have a tough time finding work again.” These are some recent cases to show that football players still get treated with ease through the justice system and in their careers, but cases similar to these have been happening forever. In most cases, the most that will happen to a football player charged with a domestic violence crime is suspension or the termination of their contracts with their current team, and too often they face no punishment at all. Treating football players like they are above the law is far too common in the U.S., and this history of leniency is damaging to victims, fans and the country. Though some fans think they can combat the NFL’s light handling of domestic abuse through boycotting, Doyle think it’s the league that needs to enact change. “It’s a billion dollar industry and they already have all their TV money,” Doyle said. “You’ll also never get enough people to stop watching so that it’ll matter.”



Though some players involved with domestic violence were dropped by their teams, the majority are still allowed by the league to play if another team wanted to pick them up.

Feb. 22, 2018, Issue 11  

2017-18 issue 11 Loquitur Cabrini University student newspaper, Radnor, PA 19087 Feb. 22, 2017

Feb. 22, 2018, Issue 11  

2017-18 issue 11 Loquitur Cabrini University student newspaper, Radnor, PA 19087 Feb. 22, 2017