Strange Tales
by Anton Valdemart
The Straight & Narrow It was not that Maude was inflexible but rather that she just liked to keep to her plans and not be distracted. Claude was very different: he could change his mind at the drop of a hat or the snap of a finger. They were a peculiar couple in many ways - chalk and cheese as Aunt Madge used to say over the flowery teapot and matching cups. “I’ve never seen such an odd pair,” she told her best friend Polly at their regular meeting in Brook Cottage. “When my sister was on her death bed I promised to keep an eye on Claude but he has been a trial. “I blame the newspapers and the talkies. They are such a distraction - putting ideas in people’s heads.” She decided to give Maude another talking to. “You must take him in hand if you are going to have a future together,” she said sternly as she turned the mangle. Maude carefully took the clean washing and put it on the line in the cottage garden. “So you’ve told me on numerous occasions, Mrs Plumtree,” she said pegging a sheet firmly in the breeze. Maude and Claude were sat by the orchard pond. They had been going to the quarry but then Claude changed his mind “Let’s feed the ducks,” he said. “You - we - must keep to the straight and narrow,” said Maude abruptly, her mind made up. She was determined to make a lasting impression on Claude’s brain. A cross country walk was carefully planned. Claude provided the one-inch Ordnance Survey map and Maude thought out the route.
It was going to take in certain features that would support her plan. The couple caught a little steam train to the station by the old castle and started their long walk homeward. Soon they came to a boggy area. “Keep to the straight and narrow,” said Maude as she guided Claude along the narrow path. Further on was a dense thicket. “Keep to the straight and narrow,” intoned Maude, guiding him along the tiny trail under overhanging greenery. They came to a swift-flowing stream. “Keep to the straight and narrow,” commanded Maude, guiding him over the stepping stones to the other side. A steep bank loomed unexpectedly into view when they turned a leafy corner. “I know - keep to the straight and narrow,” said Claude, a touch of sarcasm in his voice. Maude led the way up the precipitous path, swiftly reaching the summit. Catching up, Claude was euphoric and raced down the other side of the hill. “Not the straight and narrow!” shouted Maude, looking at the map. There was a loud splash as Claude landed in a large, smelly pond used by cattle as a watering hole. At least he had dried off by the time they reached home at a safe distance from Maude, on the straight and narrow. Read my next Strange Tale in The LINK: Mac the Giant Killer.
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